Ina noho noa koe i roto i ō kōhanga kau, kua roa kē ngā tamariki e rere atu ana, kua tata mutu tō mahi, e whakaaro ana ki tētahi mahere reti, he mea maori te tirotiro roa i tō oranga. Nā te mea kua kore tō oranga e aro noa ki te whai i ngā whāinga me te tirotiro i ngā mea kei roto i ngā rārangi mahi, tera pea ka whai wā koe ki te arotake i ngā hapa me ngā hapa. I ēnei wā o te whakaaroaro, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e mōhio ana kua roa rawa rātou e noho ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kore e tutuki, ā, ka kite i a rātou anō e titiro matatau ana ki te tūponotanga o tētahi wehenga hina.
Ki ētahi atu, ko te kore e taea te hono anō ki ā rātou hoa rangatira, me te urutau ki ngā āhuatanga hou o te whanaungatanga, me te kore e aro ki ngā mea whakararuraru o te oranga pukumahi, ka akiaki i te tangata ki te whakamutu i ā rātou marena i muri i te 20, 30 tau, neke atu rānei. Ahakoa ehara i te mea hou, kua tino piki ake te maha o ngā whakarere i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine neke atu i te 50 tau te pakeke i ngā tau tata nei, e tono ana kia nui te tirotiro me te tātari.
I tēnei rā, ka whai wāhi atu mātou ki te kōrero mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana i te ara i muri i ngā tekau tau o te noho tahi. Me te āwhina iti a te rōia a Tahini Bhushan , i rukuhia e mātou ngā take mō te whakarere hina, me ngā tohutohu ngāwari me te whai hua mō te mārama me te whakatere pai ake, mēnā kei te whakamahere koe, kei te whai rānei i tētahi. He aha te whakarere hina, ā, he aha te tikanga mōu? Pānuihia tonu.
He aha te Wehenga Hina?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I te 65 me te 56 o ngā tau o Bill rāua ko Melinda Gates, ka noho ko rāua te tino tauira o te whakarere hina i te wā i whakatau ai rāua ki te whakakore i tā rāua marena e 27 tau te roa, ā, kua whakaaro pea koe, "He aha te tikanga o te whakarere hina?" E pā ana tēnei ki te āhuatanga o te whakarere a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine (hina) neke atu i te 50 tau te pakeke . E mōhiotia ana hoki ko te wehenga hiriwa, ko te wehenga taimana rānei.
I te wehenga o Gates i puta mai he maha ngā kōrero me ngā tatauranga e whakaatu ana ahakoa ko rātou tētahi o ngā tauira rongonui o te wehenga hina, ehara i te mea ko rātou anake. E ai ki a Pew Research , kua piki rua te auau wehenga i waenga i te hunga 50-tau te pakeke mai i te tau 1990 ki te tau 2015. E whakaatu ana tētahi atu rangahau he nui ake te tautoko a te hunga neke atu i te 50 tau te pakeke i te wehenga i te tau 2012 i tō te tau 1994, e whakaatu ana i te panoni nui o te waiaro ki te whakakore i te marena.
Nō reira, ko te whiriwhiri a te whānau pēpi pūmau ki te wehe atu i ngā marena tekau tau te roa, ehara i te mea he āhuatanga motuhake noa iho, engari he pūtake mai i tētahi huinga matatini o ngā huringa ahurea me te hinengaro e puta ana i roto i ngā tekau tau. Haunga tēnā, ko te roa o te noho tahi me te oranga tahi mō te oranga kotahi ka nui ake te uaua o tēnei tukanga whakarere i te taha hinengaro me te taha whakahaere. He maha ngā wā ka haere tahi ngā pouri me ngā harikoa o te whakarere hina, nō reira ehara i te mea ngāwari, he māmā hoki te whiriwhiri.
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Ngā Take Noa mō te Wehenga Hina
Neke atu i te 20 tau a Alice rāua ko Jasper e moe tahi ana. E 54 tau a Alice, e 57 tau a Jasper. Kei te wehe rāua. "Ki taku whakaaro i tino ohorere te nuinga o ō mātou hoa," te kī a Alice me te whakakatakata. Tokorua ngā tamariki a te tokorua, ā, he kāinga ataahua tō rāua i California. I te katoa, he rite tonu rāua ki tētahi whānau harikoa, pumau.
"Kāore māua i te hototahi i ēnei rā," te whakamārama a Jasper. "I rerekē māua, ā, i wehe māua, ā, ko te tīmatanga o te tukanga whakarere te ara tika me te ara hauora hei whai. I whakaarohia e māua ētahi atu huarahi hei whakakapi i te whakarere hina, pērā i te wehenga whakamātautau . Engari, ko te wehenga ma te mea pai rawa atu."
Pērā i ngā momo wehenga katoa, ko te koretake me te pōuri whaiaro ngā tino take mō te wehenga hina. Engari, nā te mea kua pakeke te tokorua, ā, kua roa ake te wā e noho tahi ana rāua, he hohonu ake ngā pakiaka hei hutia ake, ā, he uaua te whakaaro ki te hanga anō i te oranga hou. He pono he wero motuhake tēnei mō te tokorua, heoi, i ētahi wā he nui ake ngā take o te wehenga hina i ngā wero. Ko ētahi o ēnei take:
1. Kōhanga kau
Mena ko ō tamariki te hunga e aro ana ki tō oranga me tō whanaungatanga, mehemea ko rātou ngā hoa mahi katoa, ko ngā hararei whānau katoa i whakaritea, tera pea kua kore he mea hei mahi māu ina wehe atu rātou i te whare. He takoto kau te whare, he nui rawa mō kōrua anake. Ka mōhio koe he iti noa iho ā kōrua kōrero tetahi ki tetahi, kāore hoki he nui o ngā mea e rite ana ki a kōrua.
Ina hoki, tera pea ka tīmata koe ki te mōhio kua roa kē koe e kore e aroha, ā, kāore i kite i te mea he tamariki āu. Ko te mate ohanga kau tētahi o ngā take o te wehenga hina nā te mea he uaua ki te titiro atu ki tērā taha o te tēpu parakuihi ki tō hoa rangatira kua noho hei tauhou ki a koe, i ia rā, i ia rā.
2. Ngā take pūtea
Mō ngā wāhine, ko te whakarere i ngā tau katoa ka heke nui te pūtea, inā koa mēnā ka mutu tā rātou mahi. "I roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ka mutu te mahi a te wahine ina puta mai ngā tamariki," te kī a Tahini, "Nō reira, me tatari ia kia tae ki te wā e taea ai e ia te whakarere i tana tāne."
Koinei anō te take e rapu ai te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i ētahi atu huarahi hei whakakapi i te whakarere , hei whakatau rānei kia noho tonu i roto i te marena pouri mō te wā roa. He mea nui te moni ahakoa te pakeketanga, engari ka pakeke haere koe, ka taunga haere koe ki tētahi momo noho, ā, ka nui ake ngā whakamarie e hiahiatia ana e koe. I tētahi atu taha, ina pakeke haere ngā tamariki, kāore e nui te āwangawanga mō te tiaki tamariki ina oti ngā utu o te whare wānanga te whakatau.
Ahakoa pēhea, ka noho te moni hei whakaaro nui ina whakaaro te tokorua ki te whakarere i tētahi wāhanga o te oranga. Heoi, ki te mea he motuhake ā-pūtea ngā hoa tokorua, ā, e mōhio ana kāore e pau katoa ā rāua penapena reti i te whakataunga whakarere, ka māmā ake te whiriwhiri i te herekore me te harikoa i te noho pōuri i roto i te marena i tētahi wāhanga o muri mai o te ao.
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3. Te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana
He mea noa te hekenga o te hiahia moepuku me te hiahia ā-ira tangata i te kaumātuatanga, engari kaua e whakawhānui – he nui ake, he tokomaha ake hoki te hunga 50-tau te pakeke e moe ana , e pārekareka ana ki taua mea. Heoi, ki te kore he whanaungatanga piripono, ka taea e ia te patu i te marena, ina koa kei te ora tonu te hiahia ā-ira tangata o tētahi o ō rātou hoa.
"I muri i te 50 tau, ko te marena he mea nui ake mō te whakahoahoa, kaua te taatai, i te nuinga o ngā wā kua kite ahau," te kī a Tahini. "Ahakoa rā, ki te kore e tutukihia ngā hiahia o tētahi o ngā hoa, ka nui haere te tūponotanga o te kore whakapono. Ina kore e whai wāhi ngā take pēnei i te tautoko tamariki me te tiaki i ngā tamariki mai i te mamae hinengaro o te wehenga o ngā mātua, ka iti haere pea ngā take e kitea ana e te tokorua hei whakaatu i te āhua o tētahi whānau harikoa."
Ehara i te mea ko te puremu anake te take o te pakaru o te marena, engari ko te tikanga kua ngaro tō hiahia ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, koinei te take mō te whakarere i ngā reanga katoa. Nō reira, ko tētahi whakautu ki te pātai "he aha te take e whakarere ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kaumātua" ko te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana.
4. Kua pakeke ngā tamariki
"Kei reira ngā marena kua mate rawa, ā, ko ngā hoa rangatira anake e tatari ana kia 18 tau te pakeke o ngā tamariki," te kī a Tahini, "I roto i te 70% o ngā take whakarere hina kua kite ahau, kua hoha te wahine, ā, e tatari ana kia pakeke ngā tamariki kia kore ai ia e noho hei whaea takakau, e whakatipu tamariki me te kore e pāngia e te whakama o te kāinga pakaru."
Kia tae ngā tamariki ki te pakeketanga e mārama ake ai, e pakeke ake ai hoki, ka pai ake pea ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te tīmata i te tukanga whakarere. "Tērā pea ētahi wā kua whakatata mai ngā tamariki ki ahau, kua mea mai e hiahia ana rātou kia whakarere ō rātou mātua. Kua whakatata mai ngā tama ki ahau, kua mea mai e hiahia ana ahau kia whakarere tōku whaea," tāna tāpiri.
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5. Te reti
Ko te tau reti he tohu i tētahi huringa nui o te ao kāore te katoa i te rite ki te aro atu. Ko te tikanga he nui ake te wā e noho tahi ana koutou i te kāinga i tō mua. He uaua ki te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te aro atu ki tēnā.
"I reti taku tāne, a Paul, i te 65 o ōna tau, ā, i mōhio ahau ki a ia i tua atu i te tangata i haere ki te mahi mō ngā hāora e waru i te rā," te kī a Lena, "I kite ahau kāore au i te tino mōhio, i te tino pai rānei ki te tangata e noho tahi ana ahau i tēnei wā. Kāore ia i pai ki te reti - i pōuri ia nā te mea ehara ia i te kaiwhiwhi moni, ā, he maha ngā wā he pukuriri. Kāore au i pai ki te mahi tahi me ia."
He mahi uaua te whakahaere i te reti, me te whakahaere rānei i tētahi hoa rangatira kua reti, ā, koinei te whao whakamutunga i roto i te kāwhena o te marena. I tēnei wā, he pai ake pea te wehe i te pakeketanga i te whakapau i ō tau koura ki te tautohetohe me te whawhai tetahi ki tetahi i ia rā. Ko te mahi tahi me tētahi tāne , wahine rānei e pōuri ana i ia rā, i ia rā, ka pāngia e te kare ā-roto. Nō reira, paunatia marietia ngā take whakarere hina ki te pānga o te noho tahi kia tae atu ai ki te whakatau tika.
Ngā Take Wehenga Hina hei Whakaaroaro i mua i te Whakatau
He uaua ake te wehe atu i ngā marena roa. Nā te mea kua roa te noho tahi, ka taea e ō kōrua oranga te hono hohonu rawa atu, ā, kāore pea koe e mōhio me pēhea te tīmata ki te wawahi i a rāua. Mā te whiriwhiri i waenga i te noho pōuri o te noho marena kore harikoa me te tumanako whakamataku engari whakahihiri o te tīmata hou ka raru pea koe. Ina kitea koe i tētahi peka o te huarahi, he mea nui kia ata whakaarohia ō whiringa i mua i te whakatau.
Ahakoa kei te piki haere te maha o ngā whakarere i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua pakeke, ā, he tokomaha pea kua kitea te harikoa i te wehenga atu i ngā marena roa, me whakaaro koe mēnā koinei te whakatau pai rawa atu māu. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarere? Kua rite koe mō te noho takakau i roto i ō tau 50, neke atu rānei? E hiahia ana koe ki te whakauru atu ki te ao whakaipoipo kaumātua i tētahi wā, e hiahia ana rānei koe ki te awhi i te noho takakau mō te toenga o ō rā?
Mena he pai te whiriwhiri i te wehenga atu, kua rite koe ki te whakatau i ngā wero pūtea i te ara? Me tautoko koe i te hoa rangatira, kua rite rānei koe ki te tuku atu? He nui te tautoko kare ā-roto hei oranga mōu i te wehenga? Kāore he mutunga o ngā pātai me aro atu koe i mua i te tango i tēnei peke. Heoi, anei ētahi take wehenga hina me whakauru koe ki roto i tō whakatau:
- Ngā pūtake moni whiwhi: Me pēhea koe e ora ai i muri i te wehenga? Ahakoa kua tū motuhake koe i te taha pūtea mō tō oranga katoa, ka rerekē rawa atu pea ō tūmanakohanga whiwhinga moni i te 50 tau i tō wā i te 30, i te 40 rānei o ō tau. Tērā pea kua eke koe ki te tihi o tō mahi. He nui āu moni hei oranga mō te toenga o ō rā?
- Nga painga retiiti: He aha te pānga o te whakarere ki ō painga reti? He kare ā-roto pea ngā take mō te whakarere, engari me whakaaro koe ki ngā āhuatanga mahi pēnei i ōna pānga ki ō 401(K) me ō IRA. Mā te tapahi i tō hua manu kia rua ka pā ki te whakaiti i ō taake? Ka nui āu moni hei oranga mōu? Kei te kotahi te whakaaro o kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira mō te huarahi hei whakatau i ēnei āhuatanga o te whakarere?
- Te wehewehe i ō rawa: Ka roa ake tō kōrua marena, ka nui ake ngā rawa ka tohaina e kōrua. Ki te kore he whakaaetanga prenuptial I te wā e whakatau ana ko wai ka whiwhi i te aha mēnā ka wehea te wahine, me whakaaro koe ki te huarahi pai ki te wehewehe i ngā rawa, ngā pūkete peeke, me ētahi atu rawa. He tino āwhina te mahi tahi me tētahi kaitātari pūtea mō te whakarere kia tae atu ki tētahi whakaaetanga e whai hua ana mō te katoa.
- Hauora: I te roanga ake o te oranga o te tangata i ēnei rā, tera pea ka whakaaro koe ki te noho mō te rua tekau tau te roa hei tangata kua whakarerea mēnā ka wehe atu koe i tō hoa rangatira i ō tau 50. Ehara i te mea he rua tekau tau noa iho engari he wā o te ao ka tīmata te heke o tō hauora tinana me tō hauora hinengaro. Kei a koe ngā huarahi hei whakatau i ēnei wero me te kore he hoa rangatira i tō taha?
- Te whānau me ngā tamariki: Ae, he whānau kau noa iho koutou ināianei, ā, kua pakeke katoa ā koutou tamariki, ā, he oranga anō ō rātou. Ahakoa rā, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakarere a ngā mātua mō ngā tamariki, ahakoa te pakeke. Kua whakaarohia e koe te pānga ki tō whānau, kua whakapuakina rānei te whakaaro ki ā koutou tamariki hei aromatawai i tā rātou urupare?
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8 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Ora I Te Wehenga Hina
Ahakoa kua paunatia e koe ngā painga me ngā huakore, kua utua he rōia ture whānau, kua neke atu, ā, kua tīmata te tukanga whakarere, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaae ki tēnei huringa nui. He mamae, he pōrearea hoki te wetewete i te marena me te oranga tahi o ngā tau maha. Tāpirihia ki tēnei ko te mea kua pakeke koe, ā, kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te mahi i ngā pepa katoa, ā, me āwhina pea koe ki te whakatere i tō whakarere. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a koe me te kore e ngaro tō hinengaro, me te whakarite kia kore koe e mutu me te pouri mō te whakarere hina:
1. Kia mau ō ture
"E 52 ōku tau i taku kitenga i te aroha o taku tāne ki tētahi atu wahine . I te mutunga ka whakarērea ahau e ia, ā, he pono, i tino ohorere ahau, i pōuri hoki, kāore i taea e au te whakaaro he aha ngā mea e tika ana māku mō te moni tautoko whakarere hina. Kāore au i te mōhio mēnā kei roto i ō māua ingoa te whare, kei a ia anake rānei, me pēhea rānei te wehewehe i ngā rawa me ētahi atu rawa," te kī a Jill, 60 tau te pakeke.
Waimarie, nā te rōia ture whānau i utua e ia i meinga ia kia noho ki raro, kia aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga. "Ahakoa te kaha o ngā āhuatanga, ka meinga e mātou te tokorua kia noho tahi, kia whakaaroaro hoki," te kī a Tahini. "I te nuinga o te wā, ko te whenua kei te ingoa o te tāne anake, ā, kāore ia e hiahia ki te tuku. Mena kua roa te wahine kāore i mahi, ka puta te whakaaro whai mana mai i te tāne, me te mea kāore ia i te tino rangatira i tetahi mea nā te mea nāna i utu katoa."
Kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te whawhai mō te mana tiaki takitahi, te mana tiaki tahi rānei o ngā tamariki i ēnei rā, engari kia mōhio ki ō tika ture pēnei i te tautoko a te hoa rangatira, te tautoko moni, ngā painga haumaru hapori, me ētahi atu. Kimihia he rōia hei tautoko i a koe, ā, kaua e tukua tō pouri kia ārai i a koe i ngā mea katoa.
2. Whakaritehia ō pūtea
He mea nui te moni ahakoa he pakari te whanaungatanga, ā, he mea nui anō hoki ina mutu te marena mō ngā tau maha. "Noho ki raro, ka tātarihia ō rawa," te tohutohu a Tahini, "Tuhia ngā pepa e tika ana, ā, me wehewehe kia tika."
Hangaia he rārangi o ngā rawa me ngā haumitanga, tirohia ngā mea e tohaina ana, me ngā mea nōu anake. He mea pai hoki kia kōrero ki tētahi kaitātari pūtea whaimana mō te whakarere, kia aromatawaihia ai te huarahi pai hei wikitoria i ngā wero pūtea mēnā he mea kei roto. Me whakarite kei te wātea tō inihua hauora, te putea kāreti mō ngā tamariki, me ētahi atu, ā, kei a koe he nui hei wāhi mōu ake mēnā kāore koe e whiwhi i te whare.
Whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou, ina mōhio koe kua ea ō pūtea, ka pai ake tō whakaora me te titiro ki ētahi atu mea. Kaua e huna tō mahunga ki te onepu ina tae mai ki ngā take moni, e tika ana kia mārama koe me ngā meka katoa, me ētahi moni tautoko pea mō te whakarere hina. Ahakoa kāore pea i te ataahua te ora i te whakarere hina, me whai hua.
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3. Kimihia to hapori
"Ki te mea kei te whakarere koe i te whanaungatanga hina, kei te pakeke pea koe kua ngaro atu ō mātua, kua kaumātua rawa rānei, kāore e taea te tautoko nui. Ki te mea he tuākana, teina rānei ōu, he pūnaha tautoko tēnā, engari he oranga anō ō rātou. Nō reira, he mea nui te porowhita hoa kaha, piripono," te kī a Tahini.
He mea nui te tautoko kaha, aroha hoki kia noho pūmau ai te hinengaro i te wā o te whakarere . Kei te pāngia koe e ngā huringa nui o te ao, ā, me noho tahi koe me ētahi atu. Ko te tumanako kua hangaia e koe he whatunga whakamiharo o ngā tāngata e mōhio ana ki a koe, ā, ka tautoko tonu i a koe. Whakapā atu ki a rātou, ā, tukua rātou kia noho hei tautoko i a koe. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te ora i te whakarere, ahakoa te pakeke. Me whai hoa koe, nō reira kaua e ārai i te tangata.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore e taea e te hunga e tata ana ki a koe te hono atu ki ō wheako, whakaarohia te whakauru atu ki te wehenga i muri i te 50 rōpū tautoko i tō rohe, i te ipurangi rānei. E kī ana a Jill ki a mātou, "Kāore i te ngāwari te kohikohi i ngā wāhanga o tōku ao i muri i te wehenga kāore au i whakaaro kei te haere mai. Nā te ngakaukore, ka tīmata ahau ki te rapu rōpū tautoko wehenga e tata ana ki ahau, ā, ko tēnei hapori piripono o te hunga kua pāngia e ngā wheako tino ōrite kua riro hei kaha mōku ki te haere tonu."
4. Kia pono ki ngā tamariki
Mā te noho tahi me āu tamariki, mā te whakaaro rānei mō tō whakarere, ka māmā ake te anga whakamua. "Kua pakeke pea āu tamariki, ā, kua mōhio ki ngā mea katoa mō te whakarere. Āe, kāore pea ō rātou hauora hinengaro e pāngia nuitia. Ahakoa kua roa te mate o tō marena, me kōrero tonu koe ki ngā tamariki. Heoi anō, he māmā ake te whakatenatena i te tamaiti kua mutu te marena i te kōrero ki tētahi taiohi 18 tau te pakeke," te kī a Tahini.
Kia mau ki te ture kia kaua rawa e kōrero kino ki tō hoa rangatira ki āu tamariki, engari kia pono ki a rātou. Kōrero atu ki a rātou kāore ngā mea e pai ana, ā, me kimi e kōrua tētahi ara kē atu mā kōrua. Kōrero tahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira mēnā ka taea. Mō ngā tamariki kua pakeke, he māmā ake te whakamārama ka kitea e tētahi, e kōrua rānei tētahi hoa rangatira hou i tētahi wā.
Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te kōrero ki ngā tamariki mō te whakarere
5. Whai muri i te whakarere hina, hoki ki te mahi
Tērā pea he take pūtea, he mea hei whakauru i tētahi tikanga, he mea rānei hei pupuri i a koe kia pukumahi. Mena kua reti koe, kua roa rānei e kore ana e mahi, he āwhina nui te hoki anō ki te mahi, ā, ka āwhina pea ki te whakaiti i ō pouri mō te whakarere. Ahakoa he nui ō painga haumaru hapori me ō painga reti hei oranga mōu, mā te whai mahi ka taea e koe te hoatu he hanganga me he kaupapa ki tō oranga hou.
"I mua he kaiako reo Pākehā wā-katoa ahau i mua i te whānautanga o ā māua tamariki, kātahi ka mutu taku mahi. I taku wehenga, e 55 ōku tau engari i pai tonu ahau ki te kōrero pakiwaitara, ā, ko ngā pukapuka taku tino hiahia. I tīmata ahau ki te mahi wā-wāhanga i taku whare pukapuka o te rohe. I whakarite ahau i ngā pānui pukapuka me ngā huihuinga tuhituhi iti, ā, i whakatūria e au he karapu pukapuka. He tino whai hua, ā, i tino homai he kaupapa ki ahau," te kī a Suzanne.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te hoki whakamuri ki ngā mahi 40-hāora i te wiki. Inaa, ka taea e koe te mahi tūao i tētahi whare tiaki tamariki mēnā kāore he raruraru pūtea. Āe, ki te kore koe e manukanuka ki te moni, ka taea e koe te mahi i tāu e aroha nei. Me noho ora, me whakamere hoki te oranga i muri i te wehenga , koinei pea tētahi huarahi hei mahi i tēnā.
6. Akohia te noho mokemoke
He hoa rangatira, he mātua hoki koe mō ngā tau maha, ā, ināianei, ko koe anake. Kei reira ō hoa me te pūnaha tautoko, engari he mea nui kia ako koe ki te noho ko koe anake. Tērā pea kua roa koe kāore i noho tahi me koe anō, ā, ka mataku, ka mokemoke hoki i ētahi wā.
He uaua ki te kite i a koe anō he motuhake i ngā tūranga o te hoa rangatira, te mātua, te mema o te whānau, me ērā atu, ngā tūranga kua roa nei e mau ana i a koe. Engari i te whanaketanga o tēnei upoko hou o tō ao, he mea nui te noho ko koe anake, me te ako kia noho pai ki roto. Haere ki te hikoi, haereere ko koe anake, haere tahi rānei ki ngā wā whakatā. He wā tēnei hei mōhio anō ki a koe anō. Ā, mātakitaki mai, ka tino harikoa koe ki te mahi i tēnei!
7. Rapua he awhina
He whakaaro pai tonu te āwhina ngaio ina puta he huringa nui o te ao. Kei roto i tēnei wāhanga te whakarere hina, ā, kāore he mea i pai ake i te taringa kore whakaaro hei whakarongo ki a koe. Ka taea e te tohutohu whakarere te āwhina i a koe ki te whakaoti i ngā āwangawanga, ngā pōhēhētanga, ngā mokemoke rānei e pāngia ana e koe.
"Ki taku whakaaro, kāore ngā tāne o tōku whakatupuranga e tino pai ki te rongoā hinengaro," te kī a Raul, 58 tau te pakeke, me te pouri. "Engari nā taku tamāhine ahau i akiaki kia haere ki te kite i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro i muri i taku whakarere, ā, me kī atu ahau, he tino pai te whai wāhi haumaru kāore au e hiahia ki te menemene, ki te whakaatu toa rānei. I tua atu, i taea e au te mōhio he aha te tikanga o te whakarere mōku, i te 58 o ōku tau, me te aha ka puta i muri mai."
Kāore he huna i roto i te rongoā hinengaro, ā, koinei te mea pai rawa atu ka taea e koe te mahi māu ake i tēnei wā tonu. Ahakoa he roa te wā e haere mai ana te mutunga o tō marena, ahakoa he taumaha kei runga i tō tuara, he mea pai kia rapu āwhina koe, kia kōrero hoki ki tētahi tohunga. Ki te rapu āwhina koe, kei konei ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mātau, mātau hoki o te rōpū Bonobolog y hei āwhina i a koe.
8. Arotahi ki te neke whakamua
"Kei te kite tonu ahau he māmā ake te neke atu i muri i te wehenga hina o te tāne," te kī a Tahini, "Tērā pea ka whiwhi ia i tētahi wahine taitamariki ake, ka noho hei "sugar daddy" rānei, engari he uaua ake mō tētahi wahine takakau e 50 tau te pakeke te kimi anō i te aroha me te whakawhirinaki."
He pono kei te haere tonu te whakarere me te whakama ki ngā wāhine, ina koa mēnā ka puta mai i tētahi tau, ahakoa te pikinga o te maha o ngā whakarere. Engari, e ngā wāhine, kaua e ngākau māhaki! Ki te tuwhera koe ki te aroha hou, tera pea ka tae mai ki a koe. Engari kia maumahara ko te neke whakamua ehara i te mea ko te kimi i tētahi whanaungatanga hou anake.
Pānui e pā ana: Ngā Tohutohu Whakarere Pai rawa atu mō ngā Wahine
Tērā pea ka kitea e koe te whakamarie i roto i te mokemoke, i tētahi kaupapa hou, i tētahi rōpū hoa tawhito, whakamarie rānei. Tērā pea ko te neke atu, ki a koe, he rite ki tētahi Rātapu marino e pānui pukapuka ana, e moe ana, kāore he āwangawanga, he whakaaro rānei ki tō hoa o mua. Tērā pea he rite ki te tae papura o ō makawe, me te haere ki tētahi whenua hou. Tērā pea ko te neke atu ko te huri noa i a koe hei koe.
Ko te wehenga hina e pā ana ki te āhuatanga o tētahi ia huringa e whakapono ana te tangata ka taea te tīmata anō i ngā tau katoa, i ngā wāhanga katoa o te ao. He pai te kī, "Kāore tēnei e mahi ana", ahakoa kua 20 tau kōrua e noho tahi ana. Mai i taua tirohanga, he tata tumanako, ehara i te pouri. Nō reira, kaua e tukua kia pau koe i ngā pouri me ngā whakaaro "mehemea rānei", awhi i te kōwhiringa i mahia e koe māu ake, me te arotahi ki te hanga i tētahi oranga pai ake māu ake.
I whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te Whiringa-ā-rangi 2022.
FAQs
Kei te whakaaro tonu koe, he aha te take e wehe ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua pakeke? Āe, kua piki haere te maha o ngā whakarere hina i ngā tau kua pahure ake nei, nā te mea e whakapono ana te tangata he taea te tīmata anō i muri i te 50 tau te pakeke i te taha pūtea me te taha hinengaro. Ko ētahi e whakapono ana he pai ake te tatari kia pakeke ngā tamariki kātahi ka tono whakarere.
Pērā i ngā wehenga katoa, ka taea te karo i te whakarere hina mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai me te whakapau kaha ki te pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia hou, kia ora. Heoi, ki te mea kua mate katoa te aroha me te hototahi, kāore he painga o te pupuri i te marena e kore ai koe e harikoa. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te ora i te whakarere engari i te nuinga o te wā ka hinga i te marena pouri.
Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tētahi wehenga whakamātautau kaua e whakamutu katoa. Akene me tatari kia toru marama, kātahi ka kite me pēhea te haere. Ka taea hoki e koe te whiriwhiri i tētahi kairīpoata mō te marena hei whakatau i ō raruraru, te whakamātau rānei i tētahi marena tuwhera, e tutuki ai ō hiahia i waho o te marena, engari ka noho tonu te marena hei ingoa.
Te Mokemoke i Muri i te Wehenga: He aha i Tino Uaua ai ki ngā Tāne te Whakatutuki i te Manawanui
Te Whakaipoipo i ngā Tau 50: 15 Ngā Tohutohu hei Whakatika i te Whakaipoipo
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
