Ngā Ture Matua mō te Wehenga i roto i te Marena kia Angitu ai

He taea rānei te hanga i tētahi rārangi o ngā ture mō te wehenga i roto i te marena? Hei whakautu i tēnei pātai, he rangahau i whakahaerehia ki runga i te 20 tāngata kua wehea. E whakaatu ana ngā hua o te rangahau he wheako 'tūmataiti', he 'mokemoke' hoki te wehenga. I kī anō hoki ngā tāngata i whakamātauhia he koretake te wehenga, ā, kāore i te mārama tōna putanga.

Kāore rānei e taea te pupuri i te wehenga o te marena? He rārangi arowhai mō te wehenga o te marena hei āwhina i tēnei? Mā te āwhina a te tohunga hinengaro Tākuta Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), he tohunga ki te tohutohu whanaungatanga me te Whakaora Whanoke Ā-roto, me titiro tātou ki ngā uauatanga maha o te wehenga marena me ngā ture hei angitu. 

He aha ngā momo wehenga i roto i te marena?

He hē te whakakotahi i te wehenga o te marena me te whakarere, te whakaaro rānei he takahanga noa iho te wehenga ki ētahi atu tūnga marena. ako e tohu ana e toru ngā momo wehenga: ko ērā e arahi ana ki te whakarere, ko ērā e arahi ana ki te houhanga rongo, me ngā wehenga roa kāore anō kia whakatauhia. 

Tākuta Bhonsle e whakamārama ana, "He maha ngā momo wehenga marena. I ētahi wā, ka noho tonu te tokorua i te whare kotahi, i te whare kotahi rānei. Kātahi ka hoki te wahine ki te kāinga o tōna māmā. I ētahi wā, ka neke atu te tāne. Kua kite ahau i ngā āhuatanga ahurei ka neke atu te tāne, ā, ka noho tonu te wahine me tōna whānau." Me tūhuratia ēnei momo rerekē wehenga marena kia nui ake ngā taipitopito:

1. E noho ana ngā hoa rangatira i te whare kotahi engari he rerekē ngā rūma

I ētahi wā, ka noho motuhake te tāne me te wahine, engari kāore he whakarere, i roto i te whare kotahi. He mea tēnei hei painga mō te tamaiti. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Mō te tamaiti, ka taea e te whakarere te arahi ki te noho mokemoke. Kāore ētahi tamariki e karangatia ki ngā rōpū Halloween/rā whānau nā te mea kāore ngā mātua e noho tahi ana. Nō reira, ka ngana ngā mātua ki te karo i te whakarere katoa."

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Te mahi a te wehenga 'katoa engari wehe kē':

• Kāore tetahi e neke atu nā te mea he raruraru whenua (he nui rawa te utu i ngā pire hiko mō ngā whare e rua)
• Kāore ngā mātua e hiahia ana ki te whakararu i ngā huarahi ako a ā rātou tamariki kia mau tonu ai te mamae i roto i te pōuri
• Ka pāngia ngā tamariki e te raruraru hinengaro nā te mea ngā tautohe a ngā mātua i te wa katoa

2. Ka neke atu tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira

Ka taea te whakaaro he te wehenga 'whakamātautau'Ka noho motuhake te tāne me te wahine, engari kāore he whakarere, kia kore ai e nui ngā mahi pepa. Koinei hoki te wā e whakatau ai rāua mēnā e hiahia ana rāua ki te houhia te rongo, ki te harikoa rānei rāua i te korenga o tētahi i tētahi.

Te mahi a te wehenga 'whakamātautau':

• Nō ngā mea e rua ngā taonga katoa o te marena pēnei i te whare/motuka (kāore ngā rawa e wehea turetia)
• Ko ngā moni whiwhi katoa e kiia ana ko ngā moni whiwhi tahi
• Ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te tuhi i ngā ture wehenga ki roto i tētahi tuhinga kāore i te whaimana hei karo i ngā tautohe.

3. Ka whakatau ngā hoa rangatira kua mutu

He wehenga 'tūturu' tēnei. Whai muri i te wehenga whakamātautau, ka mōhio tetahi/te tokorua o te tokorua e hiahia ana rāua ki te whakamutu i te marena, ā, ake tonu atu. Koinei te tohu o te nekehanga ki te whakarere.

Te mahi a te wehenga 'tūturu':

• Ka whakatau te tokorua ki te whakahē te houhanga o te marena
• Ka tīmata ngā mahi tuhituhi mō te wehewehenga o ngā rawa
• Ka mutu te mana tahi o ngā rawa/pūtea/nama

4. Te Kupu-D

Ā, hei whakamutunga, ka tae tātou ki te wehenga 'ture'/te wā ka tukuna mana te whakarere ki te kooti. Heoi anō, kāore he mea e kiia ana he whakarere aunoa i muri i te wehenga roa i roto i tētahi whenua. E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ko te raruraru nui ko te noho mai o tētahi hapori-ahurea te whakama mō te whakarere nā ngā utu pāpori/rongonui/pūtea e pā ana. E whakaaro ana ngā whānau e pā ana ki tēnei raruraru he raruraru ingoa kino tēnei, kaua he raruraru whanaungatanga.

"Ka huri te whakarere hei 'kōrero'. He aha i peia ai tēnei whānau? Ko tēhea whānau he nui ake ngā angaanga hei huna? Kāore ngā whanaunga e hiahia ki te whakautu i ngā pātai whakamā nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore rātou e tika kia mamae. Ka nui ake te hiranga o tō rātou whakamā i te oranga o ngā tamariki."

Te mahi a te wehenga 'ture':

• Ka tukuna he whakaaetanga wehenga e te kooti
• Kei roto i tēnei whakaaetanga te mana tiaki tamariki, te wehewehenga o ngā rawa, te whakatau i ngā nama me ētahi atu
• Tērā pea ka rerekē ēnei tikanga i te wā ngā whiriwhiringa whakarere/ngā mahi a te kooti

Nō reira, ka tae tātou ki te mutunga o ngā momo wehenga o te marena. Nā, me titiro tātou ki ngā take, me ngā ture hoki mō te wehenga i roto i te marena.

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E mōhio ana ahau ki tētahi tokorua kāore i te wehe ture engari e noho wehe ana nā te mea i tukino te tāne i tana wahine. He tangata inu waipiro ia, ā, he nui ōna raruraru riri. E mōhio ana ahau ki tētahi atu tokorua kua marenatia engari kua wehe mō ngā tau 20, nā te mea kāore rāua i te hototahi, ā, kāore hoki i te ōrite ngā uara matua o te ao.

Nō reira, he rerekē te kaha o ngā raruraru marena i ia kēhi, i ia kēhi. E ai ki tētahi ako, ko ngā raruraru o te marena pēnei i te puremu, te whakapau moni wairangi, te inu waipiro/tarukino, te hae, te āhua pōuri, me ngā tikanga whakapataritari, koinei ngā tohu tino kitea o te wehenga. 

I ētahi wā, ka pupū ake ngā raruraru iti i roto i ngā tau, ka huri hei raruraru nui, kāore e taea te whakahaere. Anei ngā take e rima o te wehenga o te marena, e ai ki a Tākuta Bhonsle:

• Te āputa whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i waenganui i te tokorua (te hamama/ngā kōrero kino/te mauahara)
• Te kore e taea te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē o tētahi ki tētahi (tērā pea nā te nui o ngā tumanakohanga/kāore i te tino tutuki)
• Te puremu/Te moe tāne/wahine i waho o te marena (tērā pea ka tīmata hei whakawhirinakitanga kare ā-roto ki tētahi)
• Te pakanga mana nā te taha pūtea (te tinihanga/te kore moni, ngā tikanga whakapau moni/ngā utu rerekē)
• Te kore whakaute (ki te kore te aroha, ka kore te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, ā-hinengaro hoki e pā)

"I ngā take tuatahi e rua, ka taea te whakatika i ngā raruraru mā te rongoā. Engari he uaua ngā raruraru e toru, ā, he uaua ki te whakatika mā te rongoā," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle. Haunga te rapu āwhina ngaio, me pēhea te whakatau i ēnei uauatanga? Kia kite tātou.

Ngā Ture Matua e 5 mō te Wehenga i roto i te Marena kia Angitu ai

He tino āwhina te noho tahi me tō hoa rangatira ki te mārama ki te 'kaha' o te raruraru o te marena. Ina hoki, he ako e tohu ana he iti ake te mōrearea o te wehenga, te whakarere rānei i te wā i kōrero ai ngā kaiuru i whakaaro hoki tā rātou hoa rangatira he raruraru nui te raruraru. He aha ētahi atu huarahi hei whakaiti i te tūponotanga o te whakarere? Kia kite tātou.

1. Kōrerohia ngā ture mō te wehenga i roto i te marena i mua i te wā

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "I te tīmatanga tonu, kia mārama ngā mea katoa mā te tino mārama. Kaua e waiho he wāhi mō te koretake ina tae mai ki te ngā ture mātua tahiKia mau tonu te whakaute tetahi i tetahi i a koe e kōrero ana mō ēnei take me tō hoa rangatira:

• Ka tūtaki koutou i ngā huihuinga pēnei i ngā rā ā-tau a ngā tamariki, ngā hui PTA, ngā whakanuitanga Kirihimete rānei?
• He āhua aukati katoa tēnei, e kore ai kōrua e tūtaki kia pāngia rā anō tētahi e te taraka, kia takoto rānei i te moenga mate nā te mate pukupuku?

"Me whakamārama hoki he aha kōrua i kore ai e whiriwhiri i te whakarere. Kōrerohia mēnā ka taea e kōrua te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata, kāore rānei. Ki te mea kāore kōrua i wehea turetia engari e noho wehe ana, ko te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata he tinihanga/whakaponokore i raro i te ture."

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2. Kaua e hurihia hei kēmu 'Chinese Whispers'

E whakanui ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Kaua e whakararuraruhia e ngā whakaaro o ētahi atu. Tō rarangi arowhai wehewehe marena he take whaiaro tēnei nāu, he rite tonu ki te haere ki te wharepaku. Kāore he tangata kē atu e taea te kī atu ki a koe āhea koe me kaukau, me horoi rānei i tō mata.

"He rite ki te kēmu 'Chinese Whispers'. Kaua e kōrero pakiwaitara tetahi ki tetahi ki ngā hoa noho tata, ki ngā whanaunga me ngā hoa. He iti noa iho ā rātou urunga ki a koe, ā, he iti noa iho hoki ngā mōhiohio e pā ana ki te take. Nō reira, he tino teitei te tūponotanga ka kōrero wairangi rātou. Kua poke ā rātou tohutohu i ō rātou ake whakaaro pōhēhē, i ngā hapa mahara me ngā kaupapa motuhake mō te ira tangata."

3. Kia maumahara ki ngā mea KAUA e mahia

Ko te ture tino nui mō te wehenga i roto i te marena ko te āta mahi i ia nekehanga. Anei te rārangi o ngā mea me ĀRAI e koe:

• Te whakamahi i āu tamariki hei kaiwawao/kaitakawaenga
• Te huna i ngā rawa mai i tō hoa rangatira hei whiwhi i tētahi painga kore tika
• Te whakapā atu ki tō hoa rangatira me te kore he takawaenga
• Te whakawehi i tō hoa rangatira
• Te peke atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou
• Te kōrero kino i tō hoa rangatira
• Te pānuitanga i tō wehenga
• Te whakakore i te wā o tō hoa ki ā koutou tamariki

4. Whakatauhia ngā whakatau i runga i tō ake hiahia mōrearea

E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ka taea e koe te neke whakamua i tō ake tere. He wā poto noa iho tēnei, he wā tuturu rānei tō wehenga atu i te ao o te aroha/aroha? Kei tō ake hiahia mō te tūpono te mea katoa. Whakaarohia he kaitākaro whutupaoro hei kupu whakarite."

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"Whai muri i te whara me te takotoranga moenga mō ngā marama e ono, ka whiriwhiri pea ia ki te totoro tinana, ki te whakangungu, ka hoki mai ki te kēmu. Tērā pea kua mutu tana mahi hākinakina, ā, ka whiriwhiri i tētahi mea ngāwari ake pērā i te snooker/korowha. He pono anō hoki tana tauira mō te ao whanaungatanga. Kua rite koe mō te Rautaki 2?"

5. Rapua he tautoko ngaio kia mōhio ai koe ki tō tūnga

E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "He rerekē ngā ture mō te wehenga i roto i te marena i ia kēhi, i ia kēhi. Kāore he otinga 'kotahi te rahi e pai ana mō te katoa'. Engari me tango e koe whakaipoipo faaipoipo kia mōhio ai koe ki tō tūnga me te take hoki i tū ai koe i reira.

"Waihoki, ka hoatu e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro he tohutohu whaitake ki a koe, ā, ka pupuri i te muna (kāore i rite ki ō whanaunga/hoa noho/hoa). He tokomaha o aku kiritaki kua hoki tahi anō i muri i te tango i te whakaora tāne me te wahine." Mena kei te rapu tautoko koe, ko tā mātou ngā kaitohutohu mai i te rōpū a Bonobology he paato noa atu.

Hei whakamutunga, me mutu tātou me te kīanga a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Kāore he whakarere harikoa. He mamae/he kino tonu ngā whakarere. Engari ka taea e koe te hanga i te wehenga kia harikoa mā te whai i ngā ture o runga ake nei, me te mārama ki tāu e hiahia ana."

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Ngā Wero o te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Tāne Wehe e Wehe Ana

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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