Kukonda munthu ndi ntchito yanthawi zonse. Inde, ndikuyitcha ntchito chifukwa muyenera kusamala nthawi zonse muubwenzi. Ndipo bwanji? Kaya mukufuna kuvomereza kapena ayi, kukonda wina, kukhala pachibwenzi, kusunga chikondi, kukonzekera zodabwitsa, kugonana, kuchapa mbale, kuchita ndi banja, kukhala gulu - zonsezi ndi ntchito yaikulu. Mumadziona kuti simukukhutira chifukwa mukuona ngati simukupeza chisamaliro chokwanira kuchokera kwa bwenzi lanu, bwenzi kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.
Koma ngati mwadalitsidwa ndipo zinthu zikuyenda bwino, ntchito imeneyi ingaoneke ngati yovuta. Inu mukhoza kusazindikira nkomwe izo; chidzakhala chikhalidwe chanu chachiwiri. Ndipo ngati mumamukonda kwambiri munthuyo, mudzakonda kutchera khutu muubwenzi ndikuchita zimenezo popanda kuoneka ngati ntchito. Komabe, pamene ubale ukudutsa mu magawo osiyanasiyana ndipo zitsenderezo za maudindo zimayamba kukwera, kupereka chisamaliro chanu chosagawanika mu maubwenzi kungayambe kuwoneka kovuta kwambiri.
Chimachitika ndi chiyani, komabe, ngati mgwirizano / gulu silikugwirizana? Bizinesi yokonda wina imakhala yovuta ndipo m'modzi kapena onse awiri amayamba kumva kuti alibe chidwi muubwenzi. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kungopanga mtendere ndi kulumikizana kosakwanira? Osati kwenikweni. Mwa kuyesetsa kukhala ndi nthawi yochulukirapo komanso chidwi muubwenzi, mutha kusintha zinthu. Tikukuuzani momwe.
N'chifukwa Chiyani Kusamala Ndi Kofunika Paubwenzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Nanga n’cifukwa ciani tifunika kusamala kwambili pa ubwenzi? Kodi kulabadira mwatsatanetsatane mu maubwenzi n'kofunikadi? Inde, ndichifukwa chakuti kusapeza chisamaliro chokwanira muubwenzi kungapangitse mnzanuyo kudzimva kukhala wosakondedwa ndi wosasamalidwa.
Izi zikutifikitsa ku funso lina lofunika kwambiri: Kodi mumayika bwanji chidwi muubwenzi? Kuti tiyankhe izi, choyamba, tiyeni tikuuzeni chidwi mu tanthauzo la ubale. Kumatanthauza kuzindikira wokondedwa wanu ndi kukhala ndi chidwi ndi moyo wawo. Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chidwi paubwenzi womwe mungayesere kuwonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo akuwona kuti mukuchita chidwi ndi moyo wawo ndipo mwayikidwa pazomwe zikuchitika nawo.
Izi zimachokera ku chisamaliro chamaganizo, kumene mukugwirizana ndi zosowa zawo zamaganizo mpaka kutcheru khutu, kumene simukwirira nkhope yanu mu foni yanu pamene mnzanuyo akufika kwa inu kuti akuuzeni chinthu chofunika kwambiri, ndi chisamaliro chachikondi, kumene mumawasambitsa ndi chikondi ndi chikondi.
M'dziko lamakono, chifukwa cha kudalira kwathu pazida zamakono komanso kufunikira kochita zinthu zambiri, timatha kulephera kupereka chisamaliro chapadera kwa anzathu. Ngati mwapita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo, ndiye kuti nthawi yabwino ingakhale kusunga foni yanu m'thumba lanu kapena m'thumba. Koma, pomaliza, bwanayo akuti padzakhala kuyimba kofunikira kuti mupitirize kumangoyang'ana, mukuyembekezera kuyitana.
Izi zitha kukhala zokhumudwitsa kwa mnzanu koma sanganene chilichonse chifukwa ntchito ndi ntchito. Popanda inu kuzindikira, luso laukadaulo lingawononge ubale wanu . Mwanjira imeneyi, khalidwe lathu nthawi zambiri limawononga kulumikizana muubwenzi. Nthawi zambiri timakhalapo ndi mnzanu wathu koma m'maganizo mwathu timasankha zochita. Chifukwa chake sitingathe kupereka chidwi chonse muubwenzi.
Mumamuganizira Bwanji Wina Paubwenzi
Pamapeto pake, mwambo wonse wokhala banja umakhala wofunika pokhapokha ngati nonse mukumva chikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake. Zimenezi zingachitike pokhapokha mutasamalira munthu amene mumamukonda. Ngati zimenezo zikusowa, miyambo yomwe cholinga chake ndi kukubweretsani pafupi ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu imakhala yopanda phindu ndipo ubale umayamba kufa . Nthawi zina ndi chiyambi cha mapeto, ndipo nthawi zina ndi chenjezo lomwe likatsatiridwa limabwezeretsa ubale.
Kupatula apo, timayamba kukondana wina ndi mnzake ndikumangirira limodzi m'mapangano osiyanasiyana ochezera, osati kungoberekana komanso kuyanjana ndi zinthu zina zambiri. Nanga ubwezi umenewu uli ndi phindu lanji ngati simukutchera khutu paubwenzi? Tikufuna mboni za miyoyo yathu ndipo tikufuna kuti anthu aziwoneka ndi kumva, ndipo okondedwa amachitirana izi.
Pali mabiliyoni ambiri a ife ndipo miyoyo yathu ikhoza kutayika mu chisokonezo chimenecho, koma mfundo yakuti wokondedwa wathu amawona miyoyo yathu, amalemba izo, amakhala ndi ife zimapangitsa chinthu chonsecho kukhala chopindulitsa. Zimapangitsanso kuti kulankhulana muubwenzi kupitirire. Ndiye, ngati pakati pazimenezi mukuona ngati simukupeza chisamaliro chokwanira kuchokera kwa chibwenzi/chibwenzi, pali phindu lanji? Choncho ngati mukuona kuti simungathe kupereka chisamaliro chokwanira kwa mnzanuyo ndiye muyenera kuchita.
1. Kumvetsetsa kulabadira lumbiro losanenedwa
Kodi chimachitika n’chiyani ngati okondedwa athu achotsa umboni umenewo? Pamenepo ndiye kuti chibwenzi chimayamba kusokonekera ndipo okondedwa amayamba kuyang’anana kutali. Chidwi chanu chimapita ku zinthu zosiyanasiyana mukamamva kuti palibe chisamaliro mu chibwenzi. Pamenepo ndiye kuti ubale wanu umatha kukhala wosakhazikika. Monga mukuonera, kusalandira chisamaliro chokwanira mu chibwenzi kungakhale ndi zotsatirapo zazikulu pa tsogolo lanu monga banja.
Izi, ndithudi, si ndondomeko yozindikira nthawi zonse, koma ngakhale kutembenuka mosazindikira kungakhale kopweteka kwambiri mu chiyanjano. Kusamalirana mosagawanika ndiko kulumbirira kosaneneka kumene okwatirana amachita akasonkhana. Palibe amene amakondana chifukwa amaona kuti mnzakeyo ndi wotopetsa.
Kugwa m'chikondi kumapangitsa anthu kupeza okondedwa awo kukhala osangalatsa, ngakhale ena akuganiza kuti ndi otopetsa. Sindikunena kuti anzathu ndiye magwero athu a zosangalatsa, koma ndibwino kukhala osangalatsa ngati tikhala nawo moyo wathu.
2. Imacheka mozama kuposa momwe tingaonere
Ichi ndichifukwa chake mnzanu akakunyalanyazani angapweteke kwambiri, mpaka kufika poti anthu amavutika maganizo ndipo amaganiza zongodzipha. Sikuti chifukwa choti okondedwa awo amasiya kuwazindikira koma chifukwa choti kusazindikirako kumawononga tanthauzo la moyo wawo.
Pamene munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri, yemwe ndi wanu kuwala kwadzuwa ndi kuwala kwa nyenyezi, akasiya kukupezani chidwi, zingakupangitseni kukayikira kukhalapo kwanu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake bwenzi lomvetsera limakupangitsani kukhala osangalala ndipo osamvetsera amakupangitsani kukhala wamanyazi. Kusapeza nthawi ndi chidwi muubwenzi kuchokera kwa okondedwa anu kungakhale kosungulumwa.
Mukuwona, anthu ena amakonda ndi mtima ndi moyo wawo, samasunga kalikonse ndikusiya makhadi awo onse patebulo. Kwa iwo, kutchova njuga kumeneku kuli ndi phindu. Mapeto amalungamitsa njira. Iwo samabwerera m'mbuyo, chifukwa kwa iwo kukonda munthu mwanjira imeneyo kumamva kukhala kosavomerezeka.
Kaya mumakonda motere kapena ayi, munthu wina akachotsa chikondi chake atachipereka kwa kanthawi, zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mpata. Mpata umenewu ukhoza kukhala wopweteka ndipo kulimbana nawo sikophweka ndipo amatha kuvutika maganizo kwambiri akakumana ndi vuto lotere. Chifukwa chake, kulabadira tsatanetsatane muubwenzi kumakhala kofunika kwambiri. Kumathandiza kuti mulankhulane bwino muubwenzi.
3. Kusalidwa ndi anthu kumaipitsa zinthu
Izi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri tikaganizira kuti gulu lathu limasala matenda amisala ndipo kukambirana zakukhosi kumawonedwa ngati chinthu chopanda pake. Kwa anthu omwe amakonda nyimbo za rom-com, ndife osalankhula komanso oweruza pamalingaliro athu.
Anthu nthawi zambiri amapita kwa madokotala amisala kukakambirana za momwe okondedwa awo samawasamalira koma sangathe kuuza okondedwa awo kuti akumva kuti amanyalanyazidwa. Chifukwa chake, ngati kusalandira chisamaliro chokwanira kuchokera kwa chibwenzi kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi kungakhale kovulaza kwambiri ndipo chisamaliro muubwenzi chingakhale chofunikira kwambiri, ndikofunikira kuti onse awiri azidzipereka kuti aziika patsogolo wina ndi mnzake, osati panthawi yosangalatsa ya ukwati koma tsiku lililonse.
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4. Kusiya kulankhulana
M’maubwenzi anthaŵi yaitali, anthu amatanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito zapakhomo, ana ndi kulipira mabilu kotero kuti amalephera kulankhulana. Atha kuwonera kanema pabalaza pabalaza, koma amangoyang'ana ma popcorn. Pali kusowa kwa kulumikizana mu ubale ndiye.
Kudziwana zomwe zikuchitika m'miyoyo ya wina ndi mnzake ndi njira yoperekera chidwi kwa mnzanuyo. Muyenera kukambirana za tsiku lanu, ana anu, kupanga mapulani a tchuthi komanso kuphika limodzi. Kulankhulana kumamanga anthu ndipo simukumva ngati mukulankhulana bwino. Ngati pali vuto pakulankhulana muubwenzi wanu ndiye kuti mutha kuyesa njira izi zolankhulirana.
Kodi kukhala tcheru muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani?
Chifukwa chake, tazindikira kuti kusapeza chidwi chokwanira muubwenzi kumatha kuwononga ubale wanu. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kumvetsetsa momwe tingakhalire tcheru muubwenzi komanso zomwe kukhala tcheru muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani. Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale oganizira ena paubwenzi?
Kukhala tcheru pachibwenzi ndi chinthu chomwe chimakhala chapadera paubwenzi uliwonse. Kwa maanja ena, kutchera khutu kungatanthauze kukhala tcheru ndi momwe wokondedwa wanu akumvera pamene ena zingangotanthauza kuwapanga chakudya chomwe amachikonda kuti asonyeze kuti amamukonda.
Lingaliro ndilakuti muzindikire zosowa za mnzanu payekha osati kulola kuti ubale wanu ufooke. Kukhala wosamala ndi njira yathu yosonyezera okondedwa athu kuti timawakonda ndikuwapangitsa kumva kuti ndi ofunika komanso apadera . Ali ndi malo apadera m'miyoyo yathu ndipo kuwasamalira kumawonetsa zimenezo.
Choncho, kusowa chidwi mu chiyanjano kungathenso kukhala ndi tanthauzo losiyana kwa maanja osiyanasiyana. Kusazindikira komanso kusalabadira tsatanetsatane mu maubwenzi kungadziwonetsere m'njira zosiyanasiyana muubwenzi.
Kwa banja lina, kusanena kuti 'Ndimakukondani' m'mawa kungalemere kwambiri monga kunyalanyaza mnzanuyo. Ndiye mumamvetsera kwambiri bwanji? Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale tcheru kwambiri kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna kapena mnzanu? Tiyeni tiganizire.
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Kodi ndimasamalira bwanji wokondedwa wanga?
Ngakhale ubale uliwonse ndi wapadera, mutha kuzindikira kuti bwenzi lanu / bwenzi lanu likuwona kuti simukusamala pachibwenzi. Izi zikachitika, nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse vutolo posamalira munthu amene mumamukonda:
- Mverani: Kumvetsera nkofunika mu ubale uliwonse. Nthawi zambiri timamva okondedwa athu koma osamumvera kwenikweni zomwe zingawapangitse kumva ngati sakupeza chidwi pachibwenzi.
- Pangani mapulani wina ndi mzake: Nthawi zambiri, kukhumudwa kosalekeza kwa chizoloŵezi kungachititse kuti muzimva ngati chirichonse m'moyo wanu sichikuyenda, kuphatikizapo ubale wanu. Mutha kumva ngati simukupeza chidwi chosiyana ndi mnzanuyo. Kuti muthane ndi vutolo, mutha kupanga mapulani wina ndi mnzake, zomwe zitha kukhala zophweka ngati tsiku lophika kunyumba kapena tsiku la kanema.
- Osapewa madandaulo awo: Mungamve ngati mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amadandaula za nkhani zomwezo, koma musataye madandaulo awo. Mukachita izi amatha kumva kuti mulibe chidwi kuchokera kumapeto kwanu
- Apangitseni kumva kuti ndi apadera: Kumbukirani masiku omwe mudaganiza kuti muli nawo wapeza mzimu wanu? Chabwino, uyu ndi munthu yemweyo, ndipo akuyenera kudzimva kuti ndi apadera. Konzani mausiku achikondi kapena bwererani tsiku lakale lomwe mudali nalo. Izi ndi zoona kuchiza mnzanuyo kusowa chidwi blues
- Konzani ulendo: Palibe chomwe chingakhale chabwinoko pakukonzanso ubale wautali kuposa tchuthi cha awiri chomwe chimakupatsani mwayi wopumula, kumasuka komanso kupanga maubwenzi apamtima.
- Kulankhulana nawo: Kulankhulana nthawi zambiri ndiko chinsinsi chopulumutsa maubwenzi ambiri. Zimathandiza kuchotsa kukayikira kulikonse, kutsimikizira ndi kulimbikitsa chikondi chanu kwa wina ndi mzake. Chifukwa chake, gwiritsani ntchito malangizo awa kuti muzitha kulumikizana bwino
Chomwe tiyenera kuzindikira ndi chakuti pali malingaliro osiyidwa omwe anthu amamva ngati palibe chidwi mu maubwenzi. Kukambitsirana kwaulele ndi komasuka kuyenera kukhala chinthu chokhazikika. Ndikofunikiranso kudziphunzitsa tokha za thanzi la m'maganizo komanso kulankhula zambiri za momwe maukwati akupitira patsogolo komanso maubwenzi okondana.
Pamene timaphunzitsa ana athu zambiri za mitsinje ya dziko lathu, ndale za anthu athu, zilankhulo za makolo athu, nthawi zambiri timalephera kuwakonzekeretsa kuti athane ndi nkhani zapamtima njira yoyenera. Sitimawaphunzitsa za kuvomereza, sitikamba za momwe chikondi chimagwirira ntchito. Koma ingowatumiza kuti akapeze chikondi paokha.
Ngakhale chidziwitso chilichonse chachikondi ndi chapadera komanso chokhazikika, pali malamulo oyambira amasewera omwe titha kugawana wina ndi mnzake. Tiyenera kuphunzitsa anthu mmene angalankhulire kuti apitirize kuchitira umboni wina ndi mnzake. Ngati chikondi ndi chomwe chimapangitsa dziko kuyendayenda, kulankhulana momveka bwino ndi komwe kumapangitsa kuti chikondi chiziyenda ndipo timafunikira zambiri. Makamaka mu maubwenzi omwe kusowa kwachisawawa kungathe kumveka.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Mlembi wafotokoza kukhudzika kumodzi kwa kusowa chidwi ndi kukhumudwa, kudzimva wopanda kanthu ndi zina. Koma vuto lina lalikulu ndi kubera chifukwa chosowa chidwi. Chikondi chingasonyezedwe kaya kukwaniritsa mathayo mochenjera ndi kusamalira banja kapena mawu osalankhula kapena chisamaliro cholunjika. Tsopano pamene onyenga odzikonda ali muukwati (wina amadziŵa kuti ali onyenga opanda manyazi pamene kokha pamene ayang’anizana ndi ziyeso kapena mikhalidwe yovuta), amene kwakukulukulu ali ofunafuna chisamaliro, pamene sakupeza chisamaliro, amaimba mlandu wokwatirana naye ndi kuyang’ana wakunja kwa ukwati wotsogolera ku chinyengo. Pokhala achinyengo odzikonda, sakambirana zomwe akufuna kapena zomwe zikusowa pachibwenzi ndipo samathetsa nkhani ngakhale kuti ali ndi udindo wofanana wa kudzipereka ndi kupatulika kwa ukwati. Pamene wokondedwa wawo akuwotcha bulu wawo kwa banja, anthuwa amagawana thupi lawo (mwamuna kapena wamkazi) kwa munthu wachitatu kuti apeze chidwi. Zomwe amalephera kuzimvetsetsa kapena ngakhale akudziwa kuti amasangalala ndi zoletsedwa ndi pomwe palibe udindo & palibe zingwe zomangika, munthu aliyense wopanda manyazi wopanda manyazi (wamwamuna kapena wamkazi) padziko lapansi amatha kuyang'anira / kupanga wonyenga kukhala wapadera kuti asangalale ndi ubale ndi wachinyengo. Ngakhale mlonda wokongola wa nyumba kapena tom & Dick mumsewu angathenso kutulutsa zomwe zimatchedwa "INE" mwa munthuyo, kumverera kwa kukhumbitsidwa, kubweretsa agulugufe m'mimba mwawo etc. Mfundo ndi yakuti ngati wina akumva kunyalanyaza kapena kusowa chidwi chokwanira ayenera kulankhulana moona mtima ndi wokondedwa wawo m'malo mochita chinyengo. Mofananamo, ngati wina akulowa pachibwenzi, ndi bwino kupewa anthu amene ali kwambiri chidwi ofuna amene ali Mwina kubera posachedwapa. Ndibwino kuzipewa m'malo mwake kukhala nazo ndikuwotcha zala za moyo wawo wonse. Kupatula apo, pali mawu akuti "Ghar Ki Chor Ko ngakhale Mulungu sangagwire".