"Mudziwa bwanji ngati zili zenizeni?" nzanga wapamtima anafunsa, mawu ake anali okhumudwa. Amandifunsa za momwe chikondi chenicheni paubwenzi chingawonekere. Koma n’chifukwa chiyani ankafunsa zimenezi mokhumudwa, mwina mungadabwe. Eya, adandikwiyitsa chifukwa ndinali nditangoyamba kukondana kwa nthawi ya makumi atatu ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi! Ndipo ayi, sindikukokomeza.
Ngakhale kuti mnzangayo adandikwiyira, ndikufuna kukhulupirira kuti sindili ndekha pakufuna kupeza chikondi chenicheni, zivute zitani - ngakhale titayamba kukondana maulendo 36. Komabe, funso lake linandisiya ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa kuti chikondi chenicheni chimamveka bwanji. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, mumadziwa bwanji zomwe muli nazo ndi munthu wina ndi chikondi chenicheni? Ndipo ndi liti pamene kumverera kwa chikondi kumeneko kumakhala kolimba mokwanira kunena kuti, “Ndiye ameneyo.” Tiyeni tifufuze mozama ndi chiyembekezo chopeza mayankho.
Kodi Chikondi Chenicheni Ndi Chiyani Mu Ubale?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tinali madotolo apanyumba mu alma mater athu. Anatsatira moyo wanga wachikondi kwa zaka zinayi ndi theka za koleji ya zachipatala, kupyolera mu maphunziro, ndipo anali adakalipo, wachifundo koma wokhumudwa, kupyolera mu ntchito yapakhomo nambala yachiwiri, ndipo sindinasiye kugwa m'chikondi.
“Ndidzadziwa zizindikiro za chikondi chenicheni, ndidzadziwa,” ndinatero, ndili ndi chidaliro monga momwe chikondi chopaka utoto wa ubweya chimakhalira. Kodi pali ngwazi iliyonse mu gulu langa lokondedwa la Mills ndi Boons yomwe sinadziwepo chikondi chenicheni pamene chinawakhudza? Ndingadziwe. Ndingadziwe, eti?
“Ndiwe mphaka woopsa kwambiri!” Ranj sanasiye. Anali wofunitsitsa kundipangitsa kuvomereza kuti ndinali munthu wokonda zinthu zopanda pake! “Iwe umangokhala ndi chidwi ndi amuna osatheka kuwapeza! Nkhani zako nthawi zonse zimakhala zachikondi cha mbali imodzi! Si nkhani zachikondi; ndi za ….” anagwedeza mutu wake akuyesera kupeza mawu oyenera. “Ndi anthu okondana chabe ! Simukufunadi kudzipereka.”
Nditamva zimenezi ndinakhumudwa kwambiri. Kukhala ndi chikondi changa chachikulu makumi atatu ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi kuchepetsedwa kufika pamlingo wophwanyidwa kunali kowawa kwambiri, komabe china chake chinandiletsa kuti ndisabweze moyipa. Mwachibadwa, ndinadziwa kuti Ranj anali wolondola. Amandidziwa bwino momwe ndimadziwira ndekha. Moyo wanga wachikondi kwambiri unali wongosangalatsa, wina anganene. Ndinkakonda kucheza ndi mnyamata chifukwa ankasewera mpira wa basketball wabwino, kapena kutiphunzitsa malingaliro odabwitsa a opaleshoni.
Chizindikiro chinali chakuti panali zinthu zofanana pa zibwenzi zanga zonse, ndipo Ranj anali atafika pachimake; nthawi zonse ankayenera kukhala aafupi kuposa ine, ndipo anayenera kundinyalanyaza kwathunthu. Mulungu wanga, ndinaganiza, sindikufunadi kukhala pachikondi. Ndikungokonda nkhani ya chikondi chosabwezera.
Mwina ndinalakwa....
Ndinayang'ana umboni: Sindinayambe ndapangapo maso a ng'ombe kwa amuna amtali kuposa ine. Nthaŵi zonse ndinkagwa m’chikondi pamene munthu amene ndimamukondayo anatembenuka n’kuyamba kundiyang’ananso. Sindinakonzekere kudzipereka, ndinazindikira, ndikudabwa. Ndinali mphaka wamantha! Ndinamuyang'anitsitsa mnzanga wapamtima chifukwa chochotsa mithunzi m'maso mwanga. Chikondi changa cha makumi atatu ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi chinasanduka phulusa mphindi zitayamba. Kodi chikondi chenicheni ndi chiyani muubwenzi? Mwachionekere, ndinalibe lingaliro. Komanso ndinalibe chikondi chenicheni, kapena ubwenzi weniweni.
Chikondi chenicheni sichimangotanthauza kunena kuti ‘ndimakukondani,’ koma kumangosonyeza mwa kuchita zinthu mosasintha.”
Kenako mlongo wanga, Tin, wokulirapo ndi miyezi khumi ndi isanu, anagonja ku zithumwa za ‘mnyamata woyenerera’ m’gulu lankhondo la Amwenye nakwatiwa naye. Mwamsanga, ndinayamba kumva chitsenderezo cha zoyembekeza za banja za ukwati wolinganizidwa. Kufufuzako kunayamba. Kudali kuyitana kolimba. Ayenera kukhala wamtali kuposa ine (ndine mapazi asanu mu mapazi anga opanda kanthu); dokotala (chofuna changa) ndi chikhulupiriro changa (chokhumba cha banja langa). Ndipo sakanayenera kukhala wachitetezo (ndinali nawo zaka zanga zonse zakukulira, sindinkafunanso mawilo kumapazi anga!)
Iyi inali bizinesi yowopsa. Ndinakumbukira mawu a Ranj akuti, “Kodi udziwa bwanji? Bwanji ngati sindikanadziwa? Bwanji ngati ndalakwitsa kwambiri?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Lingaliro Langa Lolakwika la 'Mmodzi'
Ndinayamba kukumana ndi amuna pofunafuna chikondi chenicheni
Mkazi woyamba yemwe ndinayenera kukumana naye anali dokotala wobadwira ndikuleredwa ku America. Zimenezo zinali zosavuta. Sindinkafuna kukakhala kunja. Anali wokoma m'maso koma sindimamva kuwawa pamenepo. Kukana kolunjika komanso kopanda lingaliro lachiwiri.
Chotsatira chinali chosangalatsa kwambiri; dokotala, wamtali (mwachionekere), komanso wamisala. Nthawi zonse ndimakonda kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wamisala. Cholakwika n'chakuti anali ndi zaka 32 kuposa zaka 23 zanga ndipo anali Virgo 'wolimba kwambiri' kwa Sagittarius wanga 'wothamanga'. Komabe, ndinagwedezeka ndipo mtima wanga unayamba kuimba; koma ndinalumidwa ka 36, choncho ndinaganiza kuti ndisadumphe mapazi onse awiri kaye. Tinakumananso, tinacheza ndi dokotala, ndinkamvabe mphamvu. Panali ubale wanzeru pamenepo.
Mpaka pano zabwino kwambiri, ndinaganiza. Tiyeni tiwone ngati nditembenuza mchira ndikuthamanga, monga ndimachitira nthawi zonse. Kenako ananena mawu oti asinthe moyo wanga mpaka kalekale. “Pali chinachake chimene uyenera kudziwa,” iye anatero, akuyang’ana m’maso mwanga mopanda mantha. "Ndili ndi dzenje mumtima, laling'ono, koma komabe muyenera kudziwa musanapange malingaliro anu. Ndidakumanapo ndi chikondi chenicheni kamodzi ndipo chidandisweka mtima. Ndichita zonse zomwe ndingathe kuti ndikupatseni zomwe zikuyenera koma sindingakulonjezeni kuchuluka kwake."
Uwu! Pa nthawi yomwe adatenga mpweya wake ndinali nditapanga malingaliro anga. Munthuyo anali wamtengo wapatali. Sikuti adangopangitsa magazi kuyimba m'mitsempha yanga, koma anali wolimbika mtima komanso wowona mtima ngati wankhondo aliyense. Ngati anali wowona mtima za zomwe zingachitike ndisananene kuti inde, ndi luso lanji lomwe ndikadapeza titakwatirana?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zaka Makumi Awiri Tili Pachibwenzi, Ndipo Tikuyembekezerabe Chikondi
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati ndi chikondi chenicheni?
Momwe ndimakhudzidwira, mgwirizanowo unathetsedwa. Koma sindinkafuna kuti ndimuchepetseko. Ndinagwedeza ubongo wanga kuti ndipeze chinachake chimene ndikanagwiritsa ntchito kuti ndimuopseze. “Chabwino, eh…” Ine ndinati, kuti ndisathe kupitirira, “Ndili ndi zipsera pa nsana wanga. Ndinadikira.
Anamwetulira. "Ndikuganiza kuti unakula mofulumira kwambiri, cellulite yako sinathe kupirira. Ndipo chizindikiro chozungulira chija pamphumi pako? Sindikuchiwona!" Hunk wokongola ndi nthabwala yemwe amandivomereza momwe ndiliri?
“Ndiye tidzakwatirana liti?” ndinafunsa, ndilibe mtima monga momwe mkazi wa Sagittarius yekha angachitire.
"Tengani nthawi," adatero Virgo. “Bwanji osalola makolo ako kusankha zochita?”
Kodi zodabwitsa sizidzatha? Woleza mtima wokongola hunk wolemekeza banja komanso nthabwala. Basi zomwe adotolo adalamula. Zaka makumi atatu okwatirana achimwemwe pambuyo pake, pamene ine ndikukhala ndikulemba izi, ine ndikuzindikira kuti inu mukhoza kudziwa pamene chinthu chenichenicho chikuyang'ana inu pa nkhope. Kodi chikondi chenicheni ndi chiyani muubwenzi? Ndikudziwa ndithu tsopano.
Ibibazo
1. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mwapeza chikondi chenicheni?
Palibe yankho limodzi, koma chikondi chenicheni nthawi zambiri chimaphatikizapo kulumikizana mozama, kuthandizira kosasunthika, komanso kuyesetsa kosalekeza kumvetsetsa ndikukula ndi okondedwa wanu.
2. Kodi chikondi chenicheni chikhoza kukhalabe pa maubwenzi akutali?
Inde, ndi kulankhulana momasuka, kuyesayesa kosalekeza, ndi kudzipereka kwapamodzi ku unansiwo, chikondi chenicheni chikhoza kuyenda bwino ngakhale patali.
3. Ndi zizindikiro ziti muubwenzi zomwe zingasonyeze kuti si chikondi chenicheni?
Kusalemekezana kosalekeza, kusowa kuyankhulana, kumva kutopa nthawi zonse, ndi kusowa thandizo ndi zizindikiro zina zofiira.
Maganizo Final
Chikondi chenicheni ndi chinthu chapadera komanso chozama chaumwini. Ndi ulendo wakukula, kumvetsetsa, ndi chithandizo chosagwedezeka. Kumbukirani kuti kudzikonda n'kofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino ndi wokhutiritsa. Ngakhale palibe tanthawuzo limodzi la chikondi chenicheni, nthawi zambiri chimakhudza kulumikizana kwakuya, kulemekezana, ndi kudzipereka kumanga ubale wokhalitsa ndi wachikondi.
Chikondi Chowopsya: Mitundu 13 ya Chikondi Phobias Simunadziwe
Zizindikiro 12 Zosonyeza Kuti Chibwenzi Chikusintha Kukhala Chikondi
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Chikondi sikutanthauza kukakamiza munthu kuchita chinachake. Zimangobwera mwachibadwa. Apa ndi pamene mumadziwa za "chikondi chenicheni". Malingana ngati wokondedwa wanu ndi inu muli okondwa ndikumvetsetsana wina ndi mzake, mukukumana kale ndi chikondi changwiro!
Mwamtheradi! Saloni wachita bwino!