Mosakayikira, kukhala pachibwenzi n’kosangalatsa kwambiri. Gawo loyamba la kudziwana ndi munthu ndi losangalatsa kwambiri. Nonse mumasewera masewera achikondi, kuwerengerana ndi kunyozana, ndipo ngati zonse zikuyenda bwino, posakhalitsa mumakhala 'awiri' ochita 'zinthu ngati awiri' monga kupita kutchuthi, kukondwerera limodzi, kukhala, ndi zina zotero.
M'dziko labwino, chibwenzi chiyenera kukhala njira yachilengedwe. Monga momwe mumalowera m'malo otchova njuga osadziwa ngati mumenya jackpot, mumalowa mu mphete ya zibwenzi ndikuyembekeza kuti mupeza golide. Mukakumana ndi munthu, mabelu amayamba kulira, mumafunitsitsa kudziwa za iye, ndipo masitepe onsewa amakhazikitsa mpira wachikondi.
Zitha kukhala ndi mathero osangalatsa kapena sizingakhale bwino koma njira yokumana, kukopana, kukopana sikuyima mpaka mutapeza IYE. (Ndipo kulakwitsa… nthawi zina, zitha kupitilira ngakhale mutasinthana malumbiro koma iyi ndi nkhani ina!)
Kodi Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi Ukwati Kumatanthauza Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Komabe, si chibwenzi chonse chomwe chimakhala chosangalatsa komanso kukupatsirani kuchuluka kwa adrenaline. Snigdha Mishra, katswiri wa zamaganizo, mphunzitsi wa zamisala komanso woyambitsa wa Life Surfers akufotokoza kuti: “Mukakumana ndi anthu chifukwa chongosaka bwenzi basi, kumatchedwa chibwenzi cha m’banja.
“Masiku ano, anthu amangofuna kukhala ndi munthu wokwatirana naye akamafuna munthu wokwatirana naye.
Omwe amayang'ana kwambiri amawonekera bwino za cholinga chawo - akufuna kuti njira yochezerana ithe pakusayina mapepala. Zodabwitsa ndizakuti, monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi 'deti loti mukwatirane ndi malingaliro', malingaliro onse amasintha.
Kumene, chibwenzi ndondomeko kwenikweni amakhala yemweyo, kuti mukhoza kuyang'ana zotheka bwenzi kudzera Intaneti chibwenzi malo kapena mothandizidwa ndi abwenzi kapena achibale koma kukambirana, ziyembekezo ndi khalidwe adzakhala osiyana kwambiri.
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Mapulogalamu achibwenzi ndi mawebusayiti apatsa osakwatiwa zosankha zambiri pankhani yofunafuna Mr kapena Ms Right. Mapulogalamu ngati Tinder kapena Bumble kutumikira makamaka ngati malo kukumana ndi kugwirizana koma pali zina kwambiri zibwenzi malo ukwati monga Hinge, Inner Circle, Kanjira, Shaadi.com ndi zina zotero.
Sankhani pulogalamu yanu ndi tsamba lanu mwanzeru malinga ndi zolinga zanu koma mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi cholinga chokwatirana, khalani okonzeka kutsatira malamulo ena kuti musavulale. Ndipo inde, malamulowa amagwira ntchito ngakhale simukufuna chithandizo chaukadaulo koma kudutsa njira yachikhalidwe yoyesera nokha kapena kutsamira abwenzi ndi abale kuti mudziwitse tsiku lomwe lingakhalepo.
Snigdha amagawana mfundo zofunika kuziganizira mukakhala pachibwenzi.
1. Ngati uthenga wanu sunamveke bwino, mudzakumana ndi zovuta
Chinthu choyamba chokonzekera chikugwirizana ndi kulankhulana. Ngati uthenga wanu angathe tsiku alibe momveka ponena za zolinga zanu, inu kukathera kuchititsa zambiri chisokonezo. Onetsani momveka bwino kuyambira pachiyambi kuti mukuyang'ana chiyanjano chautali osati kungongoyendayenda.
Kunena zoona pa zomwe mukuyembekezera posakasaka bwenzi sikudzangochepetsa zokhumudwitsa komanso chitetezo chomwe mumadzipezera nokha ndi munthu winayo. Chofunika kwambiri, mumasunga nthawi osacheza kapena kuyandikira munthu yemwe sangafanane ndi zilakolako zanu kuti akhazikike.
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2. Samalani ndi kukanidwa
Izi ndi zomwe muyenera kukonzekera mukakhala pachibwenzi kuti mulowe m'banja. Mutha kukhala omveka bwino za cholinga chanu chokhala ndi ubale wautali koma kodi wokondedwa wanu amagawana nawo? N’kuthekanso kuti poyamba angakhale ofunitsitsa kukwatira koma akhoza kusintha.
Angayambe kufuna zinthu zosiyanasiyana. Chotero khalani okonzekera kukhumudwitsidwa ndi kukhumudwitsidwa. Ubale uliwonse umatsatira njira yomwe sitingathe kuneneratu ikayamba. Choncho wina akayamba kulakalaka kukwatiwa ndipo winayo n’kumafuna kudzipatula, mikangano imakhala yosapeŵeka.
3. Dziwani kuti pama social network pali anthu amitundumitundu
Ngati muli pachibwenzi chokwatirana ndikusankha kufunafuna njira yochezera, khalani okonzeka kukumana ndi anthu amitundu yonse. Sikuti aliyense adzakhala ndi zolinga zabwino, moona mtima kapena moona mtima ngati inu. Choncho samalani ndi zomwe mumayika kunja uko. Musakhale aulesi.
Intaneti ndi malo ochuluka omwe mumakhala amuna ndi akazi amitundu yonse - ena ndi abwino, ena oipa ndipo ena onse ali bwino ... odabwitsa! Samalani ndi zomwe mumawulula za zolinga zanu ndi zolinga zanu. Ngakhale mukufuna kulowa m'banja, samalani ndi momwe mungatchulire mbiri yanu.
Mungafune kufufuza zina makhalidwe mu moyo bwenzi koma mukuziyika zonse pamenepo? Ndipo ngati mutayamba kucheza, ganizirani kaŵirikaŵiri za kuulula zonse zokhudza inuyo.
4. Khalani wololera mumndandanda wanu wamalingaliro
Sizingatheke komanso sizingatheke kufunsa wina kuti asakhale ndi ziyembekezo. Mudzakhala ndi zokakamiza zina ndi mabokosi oti muyambe mutayamba chibwenzi. Koma sikuli bwino kukhala ndi mabokosi ochulukira pamndandanda.
Lingaliro ndikukhala wosinthika komanso wokhoza kusintha mndandandawo momwe zinthu zikuyendera. Mutha kukhala ndi masomphenya ena a Mr kapena Ms Ideal m'mutu mwanu, mwina mungakhale ndi mwayi wopeza munthu wokhala naye pachibwenzi yemwe ali pafupi ndi masomphenyawo. Koma m’kupita kwa nthawi, kusiyana kudzakula. Choncho konzekerani misewu yopingasa m'tsogolo.
5. Dziwani kuti pali mfundo zina zomwe simungazipatukire
Izi zikhoza kuonedwa ngati wokwera ku mfundo 4. Kukhala wosinthasintha ndikofunikira koma kugwada kumbuyo kuti mukondweretse wokongola wanu kapena kupanga ubale wanu (chifukwa Hei, muyenera kukwatira, chabwino!), Sizingathandizenso. Kudzizindikira ndiko mfungulo.
Zindikirani zomwe zimakulemekezani kukana kunyengerera. Mwachitsanzo, ngati simuli bwino pogonana ndi amuna atatu kapenanso musanalowe m’banja, musagonje. Ngakhale minga yomwe ingabwere pambuyo pa ukwati - kukhala ndi ana, mavuto a ntchito, kukhala ndi apongozi ndi zina zomwe muyenera kuzidziwa musanalowe m'banja - ziyenera kuthetsedwa mwamsanga.
6. Perekani nthawi
Kungoti mukufunitsitsa kukwatirana ngakhale mutayamba chibwenzi mwalamulo, sizitanthauza kuti mumafulumira ndikuyesera kuti zinthu ziyende bwino nthawi yawo isanafike. Ngakhale mutayamba chibwenzi chanu pacholemba choyenera, nthawi yochuluka ya chibwenzi isanayambe kuchitapo kanthu kapena kukhudzidwa kwambiri kuyenera kukhala miyezi 6 mpaka 8.
Apatseni nthawi kuti akumvetseni komanso komwe mukuchokera. Msonkhano umodzi kapena iwiri sikokwanira kudziwana ndi munthu ngakhale mwachiphamaso. Chifukwa chake musayike tsiku lanu ndi 'kukwatira kapena ayi…' Perekani nthawi, samalirani, ndipo konzekerani kuti zinthu sizingayende momwe mukufunira nthawi zonse.
7. Dziwani kuti inunso mutenga nthawi
Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi chaukwati ndipo palibe china koma pangakhale zinthu zambiri zomwe simukuzidziwa za inu nokha komanso zosowa zanu. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kudzilola nokha kuti musinthe zomwe mukufuna. Simungathe kusankha ngati mumakonda munthu kapena ayi potengera macheza angapo kapena misonkhano.
Choncho, ngakhale kuti cholinga chanu chachikulu ndicho kumanga ukwati, mutangoyamba chibwenzi, musamangoganizira za mbali ya ukwatiwo. M'malo mwake, perekani mphamvu zanu kuti muyambe 'kukonda' tsiku lanu, kufananiza zokonda zanu ndikufunsa mafunso lumikizanani pamlingo wozama. Ukwati ndi mapeto ake, chomwe chingapangitse ulendo kukhala wofewa ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ulendo wopita kumeneko ndi wosangalatsa.
8. Okondedwa wanu ndi inu mwina simukugwirizana bwino
Imodzi mwa nthano zazikulu zaukwati ndi maubwenzi ndikuti okwatirana ayenera kukhala ogwirizana mwanjira iliyonse. Inde, timafuna kuti tiyambe kukondana ndi munthu amene ali ndi makhalidwe ofanana ndi athu koma n’zotheka kukonda munthu wa makhalidwe osiyanasiyana.
Khalani okonzeka kusintha pokhapokha komanso mpaka zikhulupiriro zanu zazikulu zikutsutsana kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, ngati ndinu wa Democrat ndipo mnzanuyo ndi waku Republican kapena ngati ndinu womasuka kumanzere ndipo ali wolowera kumanja, zitha kukhala zovuta kukumana pakati.
Choncho ndi bwino kutsindika zimene zili zofunika kwambiri kwa inu kenako n’kusiya zina zonse. Musamayembekezere ungwiro ndipo simudzakhala osangalala.
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9. Pangani dongosolo lanu lothandizira maganizo
Kupeza bwenzi, makamaka bwenzi la moyo wanu wonse kungakhale kovutitsa maganizo, ndalama ndi thupi. Zingamveke zosangalatsa komanso masewera koma pali ndalama zambiri zomwe mumayika muubwenzi uliwonse, makamaka mukakhala pachibwenzi.
Chifukwa chake, musanayambe komanso panthawi yomwe mukuyesera, pangani dongosolo lothandizira lamalingaliro lokhala ndi anzanu apabanja. Mudzawafuna kuti alankhule, funsani malangizo ndi kutembenukira pamene mukuyamba. Kukhala ndi dongosolo labwino lochirikiza kungakutetezeninso kuchita zinthu zopusa pofunafuna mwamuna kapena mkazi.
10. Khalani okonzeka kudziwitsa banja lanu tsiku lanu…
….. ndipo koposa zonse, onetsetsani kuti ali womasuka nazo. Mukayamba chibwenzi kuti mukwatirane, chinthu chotsatira mwachiwonekere chiyenera kutero dziwitsani chibwenzi kapena chibwenzi chanu kwa banja lanu. Komanso, khalani okonzeka kukumana ndi malingaliro awo ambirimbiri okhudza moyo wanu wachikondi.
Pachibwenzi chongopeka, mabanja satengapo mbali koma pamene muli ndi chidwi chofuna chibwenzi, iwo amafika pa chithunzi. Chotero konzekerani zonse ziŵiri, mnzanuyo ndi banja lanu pasadakhale msonkhano usanayambe. Ndipo kachiwiri, dziwitsani mnzanuyo kuti akuyembekezeka kudziwana ndi banja lanu mutakhala pachibwenzi.
11. Fananizani zolinga zanu zachikondi
Kukhala ndi cholinga chokwatira ndi kudzipereka kukhalabe m’banja ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana. Ndi bwino kukhala pachibwenzi ndi lingaliro la kukhala okhulupirika kotheratu kwa wina ndi mzake. Komabe, ngati mukufunadi kukwatira munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi, onetsetsani kuti wanu zolinga ziwiri ndi ofanana pang'ono.
Okondedwa anu angakhale akukondani koma kodi ali wokonzeka kuyesetsa 100% kuti agwire ntchito ngakhale ngati pali zovuta? Kodi amadzipereka mozama bwanji? Kodi malingaliro awo a ukwati ndi banja akufanana ndi anu? Dziwani mayankho a mafunsowa musanafune kudzipereka.
12. Musamafulumire kuyimitsa;
Pamene inu atakulungidwa mu tsiku lanu kukwatira mindset, mukhoza kuganiza inu kukhazikika kwachabe koma machesi yabwino kwa inu. Kupatula apo, muyenera kukhala ndi moyo wanu wonse ndi munthu uyu. Kodi mungaloledi mmene amatafunira mokweza chonchi?
Musanakonzekere kuti muyimitsane ndi wokongoletsa wanu chifukwa chazovuta zawo, funsani gulu lanu lothandizira pazomwe mutsatira!
Kuyimitsa maubwenzi anu posachedwa kungakupangitseni chisoni. Pamene maubwenzi angapo otsatirawa atha asananyamuke, mudzayamba kuzindikira kuti mwina wotafunayo sanali woipa kwambiri! Khalani ndi mutu wokhazikika ndikuganizira zomwe mungathe kuchita mu ubale wanu.
13. Khalani kutali ndi nkhawa
Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi cholinga cholowa m’banja, mungafune kukumana ndi “yemweNgati izi sizichitika, mukhoza kuyamba kudera nkhawa za tsogolo lanu.” Musanayambe kufunafuna “chibwenzi cha pa Intaneti” mwaukali, dziuzeni kuti mtima wanu ukhale pansi ndipo dziwani kuti umenewu si mpikisano.
Kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi malingaliro a 'deti lokwatirana' ndi ntchito yovuta kwambiri. Muyenera kudzikumbutsa kuti palibe nthawi yoti mukwatirane. Chotsani malingaliro ochuluka omwe mungakhale nawo okhudza moyo wanu wachikondi.
14. Mungafunike kusiya zimene mukuganiza kuti ndi “chikondi chenicheni”
Muzokumana nazo paubwenzi, mutha kukumana ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri, koma ubalewo umakhala wowononga mwanjira ina (a. mgwirizano wa karmic, mwina?). Zingakhale zovuta kuchoka ku chinthu chomwe chimamveka ngati chikondi, koma muyenera kukhala ndi mutu wokhazikika komanso kuti musalole kutengeka mtima kwanu.
Ngati chibwenzicho chikuwononga ndipo simukusangalala nacho, nzeru zingapangitse kuti mutulukemo. Koma nzeru zimayamba kugwedezeka pamene mukumva chikondi champhamvu ndi chilakolako chogonana ndi munthu. Kupatula apo, mukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi kuti mukwatire, kutanthauza kuti chikondi chimapambana zonse, sichoncho? Monga mudzazindikira posachedwa, chikondi sichigonja chilichonse. Inu nonse muyenera kugawana mphindi imodzi kapena ziwiri ndi winanso!
15. Musamayembekezere kukhala ndi “chimwemwe chosatha”
Mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe mungadziwone nokha, muyenera kuzindikira kuti moyo wanu sudzakhala utawaleza ndi agulugufe mutangokwatirana! Moyo waukwati ndi wosiyana kwambiri ndi moyo wanu wa chibwenzi. Zomwe zimangofunika ndi thaulo limodzi lonyowa lomwe laponyedwa pabedi musanazindikire kuti mwalakwitsa!
Mukakwaniritsa cholinga chanu muubwenzi wokwatirana, zimadza ndi mavuto akeake. Zilibe kanthu kuti munadziwana bwanji ndi mnzanu musanalowe m’banja, mukakhala limodzi mumaphunzira zambiri zokhudza inuyo ndi kukongola kwanu. Ngati takuwopsyezani, musade nkhawa, ukwati si zovuta zonse ndi mbale zauve!
Ukwati ndi mgwirizano wa anthu awiri koma sudzakhala wabwino kapena wangwiro. Chifukwa chake, ndi bwino kukhala ndi chithunzithunzi chenicheni m’maganizo mwanu mukamayamba chibwenzi n’kulowa m’banja. Ndipo nali malangizo: Ngakhale kuli kosangalatsa kuti mukufuna kukhala wotsimikiza za chibwenzi, musatenge zosangalatsa za pachibwenzi poyang'ana kwambiri nkhani ya mfundo!
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paulendo wachikondi, phunzirani kusangalala nazo ndikuzilola kuti zitsogolere ku njira yoyenera yopangira inu ndi mnzanu.
Ibibazo
Kukhala pachibwenzi kumakupatsani mpata wodziwa yemwe mungakhale wokwatirana naye kotero nthawi zonse ndibwino kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yokwanira kuti muwone ngati mukuyenera kukhala pachibwenzi.
Pali anthu ambiri omwe amakhulupirira 'chikondi powonana koyamba' komabe, sikutheka kudziŵa munthu kapena kumumvetsetsa m’misonkhano ingapo chabe. Chifukwa chake khalani osachepera miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kapena isanu ndi iwiri musanaganize zokwatira.
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi sitepe yoyamba yopita ku ukwati. Sikuti nthaŵi zonse simungakhale pachibwenzi kuti mukwatire ndi munthu yemweyo, koma pamene mwaganiza zokwatira, ndithudi mukakhala kuti mwathera nthaŵi mukumdziŵa bwino mwa kukhala pachibwenzi.
Ngati mwakonzeka m’maganizo kudzipereka ku chibwenzi ndi kupeza munthu wogwirizana ndi zokonda zanu ndi maganizo anu, mungakhale otsimikiza kuti mwakonzekera ukwati.
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