Kodi Muyenera Kupsompsonana Pa Tsiku Loyamba? Malangizo a Akatswiri Ndi Malangizo Othandiza

Mungakhale ndi chibwenzi choyamba chabwino koma mukamachoka ndi funso limodzi lokweza m'mutu mwanu: Kodi ndiyenera kupsompsona pa tsiku loyamba kapena kusunga zinthu zosavuta ndikusiya usiku wonse mukukumbatirana? Kupsompsona pa tsiku loyamba kungawoneke ngati njira yomveka bwino yosonyezera chidwi, koma kungamvekenso ngati sitepe yayikulu yoti muchitepo poyamba. Ndiye kodi muyenera kupsompsona pa tsiku loyamba?

Chabwino, zimatengera momwe mumasangalalira, momwe mnzanuyo amasangalalira, chikondi, kulumikizana kwamalingaliro, komanso kuvomerezana. Zimatengeranso zomwe kupsompsonana kumatanthauza kwa inu; kodi ndi njira yocheperako yocheza ndi anthu kapena njira yofunikira yongoperekedwa kwa omwe angakhale okwatirana nawo? M'nkhaniyi, tikuthandizani kupanga chisankho chotsogozedwa. 

Chifukwa Chake Funsoli Lili Lofunika?

Anthu ambiri sakufunsa za njira zamakono. Akufufuza pa Google kuti “kodi mumandipsompsona pa tsiku loyamba” chifukwa akuda nkhawa kuti angatumize uthenga wolakwika. 

1. Kutaya mtima

Mantha amodzi ndikuwoneka ofunitsitsa kwambiri. Mukuda nkhawa:

• Kupsompsonana kumeneko pa tsiku loyamba zidzakupangitsani kuwoneka ngati mwadzidzimuka kapena mwachisoni
• Kuti zidzasintha momwe munthu winayo amakuchitirani
• Kapena kuti idzakhazikitsa liwiro lomwe simukufuna kulisunga 

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2. Kusachita chidwi

Mantha osiyana ndi amenewa ndi kulephera kusonyeza kuti muli ndi chidwi. Ngati mwakhalapo pa chibwenzi chomwe simunapsompsone pa chibwenzi choyamba ndipo chibwenzicho chinatha, ndi zachilendo kudzifunsa ngati munaphonya mwayi wosonyeza kukongola kwanu. 

3. Kuweruza anthu pa nkhani ya chikhalidwe cha anthu

Kenako palinso chiweruzo cha anthu chogwirizana nacho. Anthu ena akadali ndi malingaliro akale akuti: 

• Kupsompsonana “kumatanthauza chinthu chachikulu” 
• Kapena kuti kupsompsonana mwachangu kumakupangitsani kukhala "osavuta" 
• Kapena kuti kukana kupsompsona kumatanthauza kukana munthuyo 

Zikhulupiriro zimenezo zimawonekera m'malangizo a chibwenzi , mauthenga a banja, ngakhale nthabwala za anzanu. Ndi chifukwa chake chisankhochi chiyenera kukhala chanu, osati cha chikhalidwe.

4. Kusiyanasiyana kwa chikhalidwe

Pali kusiyana kwa chikhalidwe ndi munthu payekha chifukwa cha zifukwa zazikulu: kupsompsonana mwachikondi sikuli kofala m'madera osiyanasiyana a anthu. Kusanthula kwakukulu kwa zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana kwa zikhalidwe 168 kunapeza umboni wa kupsompsonana mwachikondi m'zikhalidwe 46% zokha zomwe zidaphunziridwa, ndipo kunagwirizanitsa kupezeka kwake ndi zovuta za anthu. Mwanjira ina, zomwe zimamveka ngati "zachilendo" m'malo mwanu zitha kukhala zachilendo kwa wina.

Maganizo Osiyana Pa Tsiku Loyamba Kupsompsonana

Monga tanenera kale, kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba si lamulo lovuta komanso lachangu ndipo lingadalire zinthu zambiri. Tiyeni timvetse malingaliro osiyanasiyana omwe anthu ali nawo pankhani ya kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba ndi zifukwa zake.

1. Malamulo ndi ziyembekezo za anthu

Anthu ena amaona kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba ngati chizindikiro chosavuta. 

• Ndi njira yovomerezeka pagulu yochepetsera kusatsimikizika ndikuwonetsa chidwi choyamba” 
• Pankhaniyi, kupsompsonana ndi mgwirizano wa anthu komanso kutsimikizira pang'ono, osati lonjezo lalikulu. 

Anthu ena amakonda kudikira chifukwa 

• Amalumikiza kupsompsonana ndi kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe ndipo akufuna nkhani zambiri asanazigawane 
• M'mabanja kapena m'madera omwe ali ndi miyambo yokhwima yokhudza chikondi chakuthupi, kudikira ndiye chinthu chomwe anthu ambiri amakonda 

Ichi ndichifukwa chake mafunso monga tsiku lomwe muyenera kupsompsonana kapena tsiku lomwe muyenera kupsompsonana nthawi zambiri amabwerera m'mbuyo. Nthawi yowerengera nthawi imakhala yothandiza pokhapokha ngati onse awiri akufuna liwiro lofanana. Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mumaona kuti kuyenda kwanu ndi kosiyana, kukakamiza "lamulo" sikubweretsa vuto lililonse. 

Ichi ndichifukwa chake funso lakuti Kodi muyenera kupsompsona pa tsiku loyamba nthawi zambiri silikhudza makhalidwe abwino koma limafotokoza momveka bwino. 

2. Mbali zamaganizo ndi zamaganizo

Kuchokera pamalingaliro a zamaganizo okhudza chibwenzi, kupsompsonana si nkhani yaing'ono. 

Kafukufuku wamaphunziro wochitidwa ndi ofufuza ku yunivesite ya Oxford wanena kuti kupsompsonana mwachikondi kumagwira ntchito ziwiri zazikulu:

• Kuwunika kwa mnzake 
• Ndipo kuyanjana kwa kuphatikizika 
• Kutanthauzira: kupsompsona kumakuthandizani pezani munthu woyenerandipo zingathandizenso kusunga ubwenzi wapamtima mukapanga ubale 

Zamoyo

Kupsompsonana kumakhudzanso zamoyo zoyambira. 

• Chikondi chachikondi ndi kukopana koyambirira zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi njira zolipirira mphotho ndi zolimbikitsira zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi njira za dopamine. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe kukopana, kuyembekezera, ndi kukhudza kumatha kukhala kolimba. 
• Nthawi zina anthu amafotokoza za dopamine ndi oxytocin akangokumana mwachikondi, ndipo pali umboni wakuti oxytocin imagwira ntchito polumikizana, kuphatikizapo chikondi choyambirira. 
• Koma si matsenga. Kafukufuku wa Oxytocin ndi wosiyana ndipo sasintha kupsompsonana kukhala mgwirizano wotsimikizika kapena zotsatira za ubale wotsimikizika. 

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Njira yolumikizira

Kafukufuku waposachedwapa pa zikhulupiriro za kupsompsona koyamba zomwe zatsimikiziridwa bwino adapeza kuti momwe anthu amakondera kwambiri momwe kupsompsonana koyamba kuyenera kukhalira kungagwirizane ndi chikondi chachikondi chomwe chanenedwa, ndipo kulumikizanako kumatha kusiyana malinga ndi kusadzidalira.

• Ngati muli ndi nkhawa, mutha kufunafuna chitonthozo ndi ubwenzi wolimba pamene mukuopa kukanidwa
• Ngati mumakonda kupewa chibwenzi, mungasangalale ndi chibwenzicho koma mukumvabe kuti mwatopa ndi chibwenzi chanu cham'mbuyo ndipo mukufuna malo ambiri. Ofufuza za ubale wa akuluakulu amaona kuti izi ndi zizolowezi, osati umunthu wanu wokhazikika.  

Momwe Mungadziwire Kuti Nthawi Ndi Yolondola

Mukudzifunsabe kuti, “Kodi muyenera kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba?” Siyani kufunafuna chizindikiro chabwino kwambiri ndipo yang'anani kuti mubwezerene. Kuwala kobiriwira kotetezeka si “Ndikufuna kuwapsompsona,” koma “tonsefe tikuwoneka kuti tikufuna kupsompsonana.” Nazi zizindikiro zothandiza zomwe muyenera kuziyang'ana: 

• Kukambirana kumapita patsogolo ndipo nonse awiri mukupitiriza kukulitsa nkhaniyo m'malo mofunafuna potulukira 
• Nonse mumasonyeza kumasuka pogwira pang'ono, mothamanga pang'ono, ngati kugwirana pang'ono ndi dzanja mukaseka. Osachita mantha, osadzipatula 
• Kuyang'anizana maso kumapitirira, kukopana kumakhala kofanana, ndipo kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro kumamveka kofanana 
• Kutha kwa tsiku kumakhala ndi nthawi yopuma. Palibe aliyense wa inu amene mwadzidzidzi amafulumira kapena kutembenuka 

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati akufuna kukupsompsonani ? Simungadziwe bwinobwino. Ichi ndichifukwa chake muyenera kuwapatsa mpata woti avomereze. Mutha kuyandikira pang'ono ndikuyima kaye, kapena mutha kufunsa mwachindunji. Mulimonsemo, mukupanga malo oti musankhe, osati zodabwitsa.

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Synchrony

Zingathandizenso kumvetsetsa "synchrony." Kafukufuku wokhudza kukopana koyambirira akuwonetsa kuti kugwirizana kobisika pakati pa anthu awiri popanda mawu kumatha kuchitika ndi chidwi. Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wofufuza za chibwenzi chofulumira adapeza kuti mitundu ina ya kulumikizana kwa thupi la dyadic imaneneratu chidwi chofuna kukhala pachibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali , kupitirira kukongola kwakuthupi. Mwachidule, ngati chibwenzi chanu chikuwonetsa mphamvu zanu ndikukhalabe pachibwenzi, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zofunika.

Nayi mndandanda waufupi komanso wothandiza wa mphindi zisanu zapitazi womwe mungawugwiritse ntchito: 

• Kodi ndimadzimva kuti ndine wotetezeka, wokonzeka, komanso wokonzeka, osati wopanikizika kapena wopanda mphamvu? 
• Kodi akuyandikira, kapena akupanga mtunda? 
• Kodi ndinganene kuti “ayi” koma ndingathebe kuletsa chibwenzicho mwaulemu? 
• Ngati sindikudziwa, kodi ndili wokonzeka kufunsa? 

Izi ndizofunikira chifukwa kuwerenga zizindikiro kumakhala kolakwika nthawi zambiri. Kulandira chilolezo cha pakamwa nthawi zonse kumakhala chisankho chotetezeka komanso chaulemu.

Pamene Ndi Bwino Kudikira

Ngati mukumva kusasangalala ndi kupsompsonana, mvetserani zomwe mukunena. Kufuna kupita pang'onopang'ono sikutanthauza kuti simukufuna munthuyo. Ndipotu, kudikira nthawi zambiri ndi njira yoyera yotetezera malire a ubale ndi kudalirana. Nthawi zambiri mungafune kudikira ngati: 

• Simukuona chidwi chofanana, kapena mukumva kuti mukunyamula kukopana nokha 
• Inu kapena chibwenzi chanu mukuwoneka otanganidwa, osokonezeka, kapena osasangalala mwakuthupi 
• Makhalidwe anu kapena zomwe mumakonda zimapangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wosavuta 
• Nkhani yake ndi yosatetezeka kapena yosokoneza: kumwa mowa kwambiri, malo odzaza anthu komwe mumadzimva kuti muli pachiwopsezo, kapena malo omwe kunena "ayi" zingaoneke ngati zoopsa 

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Momwe mungakane kupsompsona

Ngati mukufuna kudikira koma mukubwera kudzakupsompsona, nazi njira zabwino zokanira kapena kuchedwetsa popanda kutseka chitseko: 

• "Ndinasangalala kwambiri. Ndikufuna kuti zinthu zindiyendere bwino, koma ndikufuna kukuonaninso" 
• "Ndimakukonda. Sindinakonzekere kupsompsona, koma ndingakonde kukumbatirana" 
• "Kodi tingasunge zimenezo kuti tidzagwiritse ntchito nthawi ina? Ndikufuna kusangalala kukudziwani" 

Bwanji ngati palibe kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba? Yankho losavuta ndilakuti: mutsekabe mwachikondi. Yang'anani maso, nenani kuti munasangalala, ndipo, ngati mukufunadi, perekani njira ina. Kuitana komveka bwino kuti mupite ku tsiku lachiwiri nthawi zambiri kumawonetsa chidwi kuposa kupsompsonana mokakamiza.

Ngati mukufuna kupsompsona koma simunatero, muthanso kusonyeza chidwi tsiku lotsatira. Uthenga waufupi monga wakuti “Ndasangalala kwambiri, ndikufuna kukuonaninso” ndi wabwino komanso wachikulire. Ngati mukufuna kupsompsona, mutha kunena zoona kuti: “Ndimafuna kupsompsona usiku watha, koma sindinkafuna kuganiza kuti.” Kuwonekera bwino kwamtunduwu nthawi zambiri kumasonyeza ulemu. 

Malangizo Othandiza Pakupsompsonana Pachibwenzi Choyamba Mwaulemu

1. Yang'anani chilolezo

Chilolezo chimagwira ntchito pa mtundu uliwonse wa chibwenzi , kuphatikizapo kupsompsonana. Ndi chilolezo chomwe chimaperekedwa kwaulere, chodziwitsidwa, komanso chosinthika. Kumbukirani nthawi zonse, musaganize nthawi yomwe mungafunse. Mizere yabwino yomwe nthawi zambiri imagwira ntchito chifukwa ndi yolunjika komanso yosaopsa:

• "Ndingakupsompsoneni?" 
• "Ndikufunadi kukupsompsona panopa. Kodi umakonda zimenezo?" 
• "Kodi ukufuna kupsompsonana usiku wabwino?" 

Kupempha kumateteza munthu wina, ndipo kumakutetezani ku chisoni. Kumauzanso munthu amene mukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi kuti ndinu munthu amene adzalemekeza “ayi” popanda kukwiya. Ngati akakana, musakambirane. Nenani mawu monga akuti, “Zikomo pondiuza,” mwera, ndipo pitirizani kutsanzikana nthawi zonse. Zimenezo nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa kuti munthu azikhulupirirana, ndipo kudalirana kumakhala kokongola. 

Pa tsiku langa lomaliza tinali pafupi kwambiri pa sofa ndipo ndinangomufunsa mwachindunji kuti "ndingakupsompsone? Ndikufunadi". Analandira bwino kwambiri ndipo pambuyo pake ananena kuti anayamikira kuti ndinapempha chilolezo.

- Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit

2. Sankhani nthawi yoyenera

Nthawi yabwino kwambiri nthawi zambiri imakhala kumapeto kwa tsiku locheza, pamalo pomwe nonse mungakhale chete. Kukonzekera nthawi "yabwino" nthawi zambiri kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zoyipa, koma kusankha malo aulemu kumathandiza. Ngati simukudziwa ngati nthawi yoti mupsompsone pa tsiku loyamba yakwana, yang'anani zachinsinsi komanso kumasuka. Munthu winayo ayenera kuvomereza kapena kukana popanda kumva kuti akuonedwa kapena kukakamizidwa.

3. Choyamba, khalani osavuta

Pa tsiku loyamba, yambani ndi kupsompsonana pang'ono. Ngati pali chikondi pakati pa inu, mutha kukweza kwambiri. Ngati sichoncho, mutha kusiya popanda kusokoneza. Izi zimalemekeza ulemu wa tsiku loyamba ndipo zimakutetezani kuti musachite zinthu mwachangu kwambiri.

Komanso, simuyenera kusankha pakati pa kusapsompsona ndi "kupsompsona kwamphamvu kwa French." Palibe vuto kuichepetsa. Kupsompsona tsaya mwachangu ndi njira yabwino kwambiri!

Nthano Zokhudza Chibwenzi Poyerekeza ndi Zoona

Nthano zimachititsa anthu kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso zimawakakamiza kusankha zinthu zomwe sakuzifuna. Tiyeni tifotokoze zina mwa zomwe anthu ambiri amachita.

Nthano	zenizeni
"Kupsompsonana koyamba kumatanthauza kuti mukufuna ubale weniweni. "	Kupsompsonana kungatanthauze chidwi, chidwi, kapena "Ndinasangalala," ndipo si mgwirizano.
"Kusapsompsonana kumatanthauza kusowa chidwi."	Anthu amatha kudikira pazifukwa zingapo monga kuchuluka kwa chitonthozo, makhalidwe abwino, mbiri ya zoopsa, kapena kukonda zinthu zosavuta.
"Ngati mupsompsona msanga, ndi kosavuta."	Chimenecho ndi chizindikiro cha makhalidwe abwino. Chilolezo ndi ufulu wochita chilichonse ndi zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri.
"Kodi mwamuna ayenera kuyambitsa kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba?"	Munthu aliyense akhoza kuyamba ngati akumva kudzidalira mokwanira.
"Kodi mkazi ayenera kudikira kuti amupsompsone?"	Kudikira kungakhale bwino, koma kuyambitsa kapena kufunsa kungakhalenso kodzidalira, komanso moona mtima, kungakhalenso kokongola pang'ono.
"Kodi kupsompsonana msanga kungawononge kukopana?"	Inde, zingatheke ngati zikuoneka kuti zikukakamizidwa, sizikugwirizana, kapena zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kukakamiza wina. Ngati zili zofanana, zingathandize kumanga chibwenzi chemistry.
"Kodi kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba n'koipa?"	Ndi zoipa zokha pamene sizikufunidwa kapena pamene zikudutsa malire a wina.

Ibibazo

Kutsiliza

Kodi muyenera kupsompsonana pa tsiku loyamba? Ngati mukufuna, ndipo mukuona kuti mukukondana bwino, ndipo pali mgwirizano womveka bwino, ukhoza kukhala mapeto abwino komanso chizindikiro chomveka bwino cha kukopana. Ngati simukudziwa, kapena zizindikiro za munthu winayo zikusakanikirana, kudikira nthawi zambiri ndi chisankho chanzeru. Ubale wamphamvu umapulumuka "osati pano," ndipo ubale wofooka sumakhazikika pokakamiza ubwenzi. 

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.