Kodi Simping Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Ndi Mbendera Yofiira Mu Guys?

Mwinamwake mwamvapo wina akutchedwa "simp" pa intaneti. Mwina mu meme, tweet, kapena gawo la ndemanga pomwe wina akuwotchedwa chifukwa "chochita zambiri" chifukwa chophwanya. Ndipo izi zakupangitsani kudabwa, "Kupumula ndi chiyani? Ndipo kuphweka ndi chiyani?" Mawuwa aphulika m'zaka zaposachedwa, koma zoona zake ndizakuti, zakhala zikuyenda motalika kuposa TikTok kapena Reddit. Ndipo pamene mawuwa amaponyedwa mozungulira, akulozera ku chinachake chenicheni - khalidwe la khalidwe limene wina amadzitsanulira mwa munthu yemwe sakubwezera mphamvu zomwezo.

Chifukwa chake tiyeni tiwongolere chinthu chimodzi moyambirira: kukhala wachifundo, wachikondi, kapena womasuka sizimakupangitsani kukhala wosavuta. Koma pamene kudziona kukhala wofunika kumayamba kudalira mmene munthu wina amakuchitirani ndiponso pamene mukupereka mopambanitsa, kupepesa mopitirira muyeso, ndi kufunafuna kuvomereza nthaŵi zonse, m’pamene imafika nthaŵi yoti muime kaye n’kudzifunsa kuti chikuchitika n’chiyani kwenikweni.

Ngati izo zikumveka zozoloŵereka, tiyeni tikuthandizeni paulendo wanu wodzilingalira nokha mwa kuphwanya chimene chiri chopepuka, mmene chimaonekera mu maubwenzi, ndi mmene mungadziwire ngati inu mwawoloka mzere umenewo. Sitinabwere kudzachititsa manyazi aliyense. Kupatula apo, tonse tachita zinthu zomwe sitinyada nazo. Koma kumvetsa zizindikiro kungakuthandizeni kusonyeza maubwenzi momveka bwino, kudzidalira, komanso kudzilemekeza. Kaya mukuda nkhawa kuti mukungopeka, mumatchedwa amodzi, kapena mukungofuna kupewa kugwa mumsampha, uku ndikusokonekera kwanu kopanda BS komwe chikondi chathanzi chimatha ndipo machitidwe osayenera amayamba.

Kodi Siping N'chiyani?

Mwachidule, "kunyoza" kumatanthauza khalidwe logonjera kwambiri kapena lofunitsitsa kwambiri munthu amene mukufuna kumukonda, makamaka ngati khama lake silikubwezeredwa. Mu chilankhulo cha pa intaneti, munthu wonyoza nthawi zambiri ndi munthu, nthawi zambiri mwamuna, amene amachita zinthu zambiri kwa munthu amene amamukonda, kunena kapena kuchita chilichonse kuti amusangalatse pofuna kupeza chiyanjo. Tanthauzo la mawu akuti "simp" mu slang yamakono yopezera chibwenzi ndi loti mudzipatse nokha mopitirira muyeso, kupatsa munthu wina chidwi, mphatso, ndi kuyamika, pamene mukunyalanyaza kudzilemekeza kwanu kapena malire anu.

Mawu oti simp kwenikweni amachokera ku "simpleton" ndipo adakhalapo kwazaka zambiri, koma adaphulika kutchuka pafupifupi 2020 chifukwa cha TikTok's #SimpNation. Mwadzidzidzi, aliyense anali ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa tanthauzo la mawu osavuta, kutulutsa nthabwala ndikumatchula ngakhale manja ang'onoang'ono achikondi kukhala osavuta. Mwachitsanzo, gulu lina la ma virus linanena kuti ndinu osavuta mukayankha foni ya FaceTime kuchokera kwa mtsikana kapena kumubwereka chovala chanu akamazizira, zomwe, tiyeni tinene zoona, ndi makhalidwe abwino a anyamata! Kugwiritsiridwa ntchito kumeneku kunasandulika kukhala mawu omveka, omwe nthawi zambiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito monyoza kuseka “anyamata abwino.”

Mofanana ndi zina zambiri, intaneti idakwera kwambiri ndi zilembo. Ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kufunsa funso loti, kufewetsa mu maubwenzi ndi chiyani? Kwenikweni, ndi pamene munthu wina amanyansidwa kapena kuyesa kugometsa wina kwambiri, nthawi zambiri pofuna "kugula" chikondi. Nazi zitsanzo zomveka za khalidwe losavuta: 

• Kupereka zabwino zambiri monga kuchita homuweki ya wina kapena ntchito zomwe sanapemphe
• Kupumula ndi kuvomereza zonse zomwe munthuyo akunena, kuopa kunena kusagwirizana kulikonse
• Kusiya kuyamikira nthawi zonse
• Kutumiza ndalama kapena mphatso zodula kwa okonda pa intaneti
• Kukonzanso moyo wanu kuti muthandize munthu amene sakupatsani chidwi
• Kutumizirana mameseji ndi kutumizirana mameseji kawiri munthu amene amangoyankha

Mphunzitsi wa maubwenzi a Dionne Reid anachenjeza kuti, “Kusemphana maganizo si chikondi; Mungafunse kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani anthu amangokhalira kuvutika maganizo ngati nthawi zambiri zimawachititsa kukhala ndi maganizo osayenerera komanso osweka mtima?” Nthawi zambiri, amayamba chifukwa chodziona ngati wosafunika kapena wosadzidalira. 

Munthu angakhulupirire kuti ayenera "kupeza" chikondi mwa kupereka mopitirira muyeso. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti anthu osatetezeka kapena omwe alibe chibwenzi chochepa amatha kukhala ndi khalidwe losavuta. Akhoza kukopeka ndi munthu wina yemwe amamuona kuti sakugwirizana nawo ndipo motero amawerama kuti awasangalatse. 

Nthawi zina, kumangokhalira kuphatikizika ndi zikhalidwe zokondweretsa anthu kapena zongodalira. Zongopeka zongopeka zimathanso kuyambitsa siping. Simp imaganiza kuti kuchita bwino kumapangitsa winayo "kuwona" kufunikira kwake ndikubwezeranso mwachikondi. Tsoka ilo, zenizeni nthawi zambiri sizigwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyi, ndipo zokomera za simp nthawi zambiri sizimafunsidwa komanso zosafunika.

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Zizindikiro 10 zomwe Mukuchita

Tsopano, tanthauzo la simping likufotokoza bwino chinthu chimodzi: makhalidwe ena si zochita za chikondi chopanda chiyembekezo monga momwe amachitidwira. Komanso, zingakhale zovuta kudziwa pamene mukudutsa malire amenewo, makamaka pamene muli ndi malingaliro amphamvu pa winawake. Izi zingakupangitseni kudzifunsa momwe mungadziwire ngati mukusinja kapena kusonyeza chikondi chabwino kwa wina. Yankho likhoza kukhala m'zizindikiro 10 zapamwamba izi kuti mukusinja:

1. Mumawononga ndalama zoposa zomwe mungathe kuti muwasangalatse

Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zapamwamba za khalidwe losavuta ndikuwotcha bowo mu chikwama chanu kwa munthu amene mumamukonda. Kodi mumapeza kuti mukugulira zakudya zawo zonse, kugula mphatso zodula, kapena kuwononga matikiti a konsati kuti muwasangalatse, ngakhale simungakwanitse? Kupita kunja kukapeza ndalama zomwe akufuna, kapena choyipitsitsa, zosowa zawo, nthawi zonse ndi mbendera yofiira. 

Zoonadi, kuchitira munthu mwapadera nthawi zina ndi chikondi. Koma ngati mumangokhalira kutulutsa ndalama kapena kuwasambitsa ndi mphatso zabwino kwambiri ndikuyembekeza kuti akubwezerani chikondi, ndiye kuti sizosavuta. Mwachitsanzo, munthu amene amawononga ndalama zake kuti agulire foni yake yatsopano, pomwe amangomutumizira mameseji, sakhala "wokoma", akupita kumalo osowa. Kumbukirani, chikondi sichingagulidwe, ndipo kugwirizana kwenikweni sikufuna kusweka.

2. Mumatumiza uthenga kwa iwo nthawi zonse 

Chizindikiro chinanso chapamwamba chomwe mukungofuna ndikungofuna kutumizirana mameseji kapena DM munthu osayimitsa, ngakhale atakupatsani mayankho ochepa. Mumatumiza "Moni m'mawa!" tsiku lililonse, asambitseni ma memes, kuyamikira, zosintha za moyo wanu, ndipo amayankha ngati kuli koyenera, ngati kuli koyenera. Komabe inu pitirizani kuyambitsa. 

Mutha kulembanso mameseji pawiri kapena patatu ngati sakuyankha, yang'anani foni yanu mphindi zingapo zilizonse, ndikukhala movutikira mpaka atayankha. Khalidwe lamtunduwu nthawi zambiri limabwera chifukwa chofuna chisamaliro ndi kutsimikizika kwawo. Pakuyanjana kwabwino, kuyanjana kumakhala njira ziwiri komanso moyenera. Mu siping mode, munthu mmodzi amachita kuthamangitsa zonse. 

Kafukufuku amagwirizanitsanso kuyang'ana kwambiri pafoni ndi mauthenga ndi nkhawa yayikulu m'maubwenzi osabwezerana. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukulemba mauthenga aatali ndime ndipo mukulandira mayankho a liwu limodzi kapena osayankha, chotsani pang'ono. Simuyenera kupempha chidwi.

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3. Nthawi zonse mumasiya zolinga zanu kuti muwathandize

Dzifunseni kuti: kodi mumaletsa anzanu kapena mumasiya maudindo ofunikira nthawi iliyonse munthuyo akakupemphani? Ngati nthawi zonse mumasintha nthawi yanu, kuchepetsa zomwe munalonjeza kale, kapena kudzipangitsa kukhala wokonzeka 100% nthawi iliyonse mukangodziwa kuti ndinu wokonzeka, mukuvutika kwambiri. Kusinthasintha nthawi zina n'kwabwino, koma nthawi zonse kuika nthawi yawo patsogolo pa moyo wanu sikoyenera. Ubale wabwino umaphatikizapo kugwirizana mbali zonse ziwiri, osati munthu m'modzi amene nthawi zonse amachita zinthu moganizira ena. Ngati anzanu akuseka kuti "mungadumphe ngati iye akunena kuti dumphani" kapena ngati mukumva kuti muli ndi mlandu wodzitengera nokha tsiku limodzi, ndi nthawi yoti mufufuze zenizeni.

4. Mumawachitira zinthu zomwe simukanachitira wina aliyense

Kodi mukupita patsogolo ndi kupitirira kwa munthu uyu m'njira zomwe zimawoneka monyanyira kapena zopanda khalidwe? Mwina ndinu wololera kuyendetsa galimoto kwa maola anayi kuti muwabweretsere zokhwasula-khwasula, athandizeni kulemba pepala usiku usanakwane pamene muli ndi nthawi yanuyanu, kapena kuwathamangira ndi ntchito zapakhomo zomwe mabwenzi abwino sangayembekezere. Zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza.

Kukhala wowolowa manja kwambiri kapena wothandiza sikuli koyipa kwenikweni, koma kungoyang'ana nthawi zambiri kumaphatikizapo kuchita zabwino mopanda nzeru poyembekezera kukondedwa. Dionne anati: “Pakakhala kukhala ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, kusiyana pakati pa kungokhala chete ndi kukhala pachibwenzi n’kwakuti nthaŵi zambiri zokomera za simp sizimafunsiridwa. 

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5. Mumavutika kunena “ayi” kwa iwo

Chizindikiro ichi ndi cholunjika: kutsata kwathunthu. Mwachitsanzo, amapempha kuti awakomere mtima, inu muli nawo. Iwo akufuna kusankha malo odyera, ndipo inu muzidya chirichonse chimene iwo akufuna. Amakhala m’njira zomwe simukumasuka nazo, ndipo mumaluma lilime lanu chifukwa simukufuna kuwakhumudwitsa. Ngati nthawi zonse mumaganiza kuti, "Ndilankhule ... koma sindikufuna kuti akhumudwe kapena achoke," manthawa akuyendetsa pulogalamuyo. 

Dionne akuti, "Mukayika patsogolo kupezeka kwa munthu m'malo mwamtendere wanu, mumalephera kulumikizana ndi malo anu." Ubale wabwino sungathe kutha ngati munganene kuti, “Zowonadi, sindingathe kutero”, kamodzi pakanthawi. Chifukwa chake ngati "inde" ndi mawu okhawo m'mawu anu ozungulira, ndi nthawi yoti mutengenso msana wanu. Kuvomereza nthawi zonse kuzinthu zomwe simukuzifuna sikwabwino. 

6. Mumawaika pachopondapo ndi kuwapangitsa kukhala abwino

Kodi mumaona kuti munthuyu ndi wopanda cholakwika chilichonse? Simps nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chidwi chambiri. Munthu amene amamukonda sangachite cholakwa chilichonse, ndipo m’maso mwawo, munthu ameneyu ndi wapadera kwambiri poyerekeza ndi wina aliyense. Mutha kudzipeza mukuwateteza ngakhale atakuchitirani zosayenera, kapena kuwonetsa zoyipa zawo. Mutha kuganiza kuti palibe yemwe ali wokongola, wanzeru, komanso woseketsa monga iwo ndipo mumamva kuti ndinu wamwayi kuti mungopeza zochepa chabe.

Kulambira kumeneku ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukuwaonanso ngati munthu wamba, koma ngati chinthu chabwino kapena mphoto. Zimasonyeza kuti mukupanga malingaliro okhudza munthu ameneyu kapena ubale womwe mukuyembekezera, kunyalanyaza zenizeni. Kuika munthu pampando kumatanthauzanso kuchepetsa zolakwa zake ndi kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zowopsa muubwenzi.

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7. Nthawi zonse mumafuna kuvomereza ndi kutsimikizira

Kodi mumapeza kuti nthawi zonse mumadabwa kuti, "Kodi izi zipangitsa kuti azindikonda kwambiri?" Kodi mukuyang'ana momwe amachitira ndi chilichonse chomwe mumachita, kuyambira pazovala zanu mpaka zolemba zanu za Instagram, ndikuyembekeza kuyamikiridwa kapena chidwi? Pamene muwachitira zabwino, kodi ndi osasamalira, kapena chifukwa mukuyembekeza kuti pamapeto pake adzakubwezerani malingaliro anu? Ngati ndinu woona mtima ndipo yankho likutsamira ku chotsatiracho, muli mumsampha wovomerezeka. 

Kudzidalira kwa munthu wosadziwa zambiri kumayamba kudalira kwambiri maganizo a munthu wina. Mwachitsanzo, mungasinthe zomwe mumakonda, zizolowezi zanu, kapena umunthu wanu kuti mugwirizane ndi zomwe mukuganiza kuti akufuna. Uku ndi kutaya koopsa kwa kudalirika. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit pa r/dating_advice anafotokoza bwino izi: “Simp ndi munthu amene sadzilemekeza. Amaganiza kuti alibe phindu lililonse lachibadwa ndipo amakhulupirira kuti ayenera kuchita zinthu zodabwitsa kuti apange phindu kwa munthu amene amamukonda.”

8. Mumanyalanyaza mbendera zofiira mu khalidwe lawo

Mwina anzanu akukuuzani kuti munthu ameneyu akukunyengani, akukugwiritsani ntchito, kapena mwina amakunyozerani mwachipongwe koma inuyo mumapereka zifukwa. Pansi pansi, mutha kuwona mbendera zofiira ngati, 

• Amangoyimba pamene akufunikira chisomo
• Amakopana ndi ena pamaso panu
• Iwo amangogwiritsa ntchito inu ngati chotengera chamalingaliro mukamacheza ndi munthu wina

Komabe, mumasankha kunyalanyaza chifukwa kukumana ndi chowonadi kungataye. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowopsa kwambiri zochepetsera: kulekerera khalidwe loipa kuti mukhalebe munjira ya wina. Mungadziuze nokha kuti, "Ndili bwino, ndili bwino ndikukhala abwenzi," pamene mukuyembekeza kuti asintha malingaliro awo, panthawiyi, akudutsa malire anu. 

Dionne akuti, "Kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira kumachepetsa kuwala kwa chidziwitso chanu. Mvetserani. Ngati chibadwa chanu kapena aliyense amene amasamala za inu akukupiza mbendera zofiira ndipo mukupitiriza kuziyika pambali, simuli olemekezeka kapena oleza mtima. Mukuchitiridwa mwayi. 

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9. Mumatengeka mtima mopambanitsa kapena kuchita mopambanitsa ponena za iwo

Kungosintha maganizo anu kufika pa 11 chifukwa mwaika ndalama zambiri mwa munthuyu, kuyanjana kulikonse pang'ono kumamveka ngati nkhani yaikulu. Izi zitha kutanthauza kuti momwe mukumvera komanso momwe mukumvera zimadalira momwe amakuchitirani tsiku linalake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati akuyankha uthenga wanu, zimakusangalatsani. Koma ngati akusiyani mukuwerenga , mukutaya mtima kwambiri.

Mwina mumakhumudwa kwambiri, kuchita nsanje, kapena kuda nkhawa ndi zinthu zing'onozing'ono, monga iwo sakonda zolemba zanu kapena kuchita nthabwala ndi wina. Mutha kupanganso sewero kuti amvetsere chidwi chawo, kapena kusokoneza zinthu ngati sizikuyenda momwe mumayembekezera. Kusasunthika kotereku ndi chizindikiro chakuti dziko lanu likuzungulira kwambiri malingaliro awo. 

10. Mumanyalanyaza zosowa zanu, zolinga zanu, kapena anzanu

Mwinamwake chachikulu mwa zizindikiro zonse zomwe mukuzipusitsa ndikuti mwasiya kuona "inu." Posamalira wina, simps nthawi zambiri amalola moyo wawo kugwera m'njira. Choncho dzifunseni, 

• Kodi mwasiya zoseweretsa zomwe mumakonda kuzikonda chifukwa mumathera nthawi yanu yonse? 
• Kodi maubwenzi anu akutha chifukwa nthawi zonse mumasiya anzanu kuti apezeke chifukwa cha kusweka kwanu? 
• Nanga bwanji zolinga zanu, monga maphunziro, ntchito, kapena thanzi? Kodi amenewo akuvutika? 

Kunyalanyaza kudzisamalira ndi chitukuko chaumwini ndizotsatira zazikulu zochepetsera. Ngati mupereka zosowa zanu zonse ndi zokonda zanu kwa munthu wina, simuli kudzikonda. Mukudzipangira kukhala wopanda chimwemwe, ndipo chodabwitsa n'chakuti, kudzipereka kumeneku nthawi zambiri sikuyamikiridwa ndi munthu wina. 

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Chikondi Vs. Siping: Momwe Awiriwa Amasiyanirana

Poyang'ana koyamba, kusilira kungawoneke ngati chikondi. Ndipotu, zonsezi zikuphatikizapo kusonyeza chikondi, kuchita zinthu moganizira ena, ndiponso kuika chimwemwe cha munthu pamalo oyamba. Koma kusiyana kwakukulu kwagona pa chisonkhezero, kulinganiza, ndi kubwerezabwereza.

Chikondi chabwino chimachokera pa kudzilemekeza komanso kuyamikirana. Onse awiri amapereka ndi kulandira, kulolerana pakafunika kutero, ndikuwonetsa chisamaliro m'njira zomwe zimamveka mwachibadwa osati mokakamizidwa. Makhalidwe achikondi amachokera ku chidaliro ndi kubwezerana. Kumbali ina, kungokhala chete nthawi zambiri kumachokera ku kusadzidalira kapena mantha okana. M'malo mokhala ogwirizana, kumakhala kufunafuna mbali imodzi pomwe munthu m'modzi nthawi zonse amapereka, amalekerera, kapena amasiya malire ake pofuna kupeza chikondi. Nazi zinthu zazikulu zomwe zimasiyanitsa awiriwa:

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Kodi Siping A Red Flag Mu Guys?

Kupinda cham'mbuyo kwa mtsikana, nthawi zonse kuvomereza, nthawi zonse kulipira, makamaka kupembedza pansi iye amayenda. Kodi imeneyo ndi mbendera yofiira? Yankho siliri lakuda ndi loyera, koma limatsamira ku "inde, ikhoza kukhala mbendera yofiira" ngati itadutsa mu khalidwe losavuta. Ichi ndichifukwa chake: 

• Kudzilemekeza ndikofunikira: Ngati munthu siping khalidwe limasonyeza kuti iye sadzilemekeza yekha, ndi chenjezo kwa thanzi ubwenzi. Mnzake amene samadzilemekeza akhoza kukhala wokondana kwambiri, woipidwa, kapena wodalira maganizo ake
• Kusafanana: Kukondana kwenikweni ndi kwa onse awiri, pamene kungoseka kwenikweni kumangokhalira mbali imodzi ndipo kungasonyeze kusagwirizana kapena kudyerana masuku pamutu. Kutumikira mwakhungu munthu amene sabwezera, ngakhale ndi zochepa chabe, ndi mbendera yofiira ya kugwirizana kosayenera.
• Kusiyana pakati pa kungokhala chete ndi kukhala wachikondi: Kukoma mtima ndi chikondi si mbendera zofiira. Kusiyana pakati pa kungokhala chete ndi kukhala wokondana kwagona pakulimbikitsana ndi kulinganiza. Dionne anati: “Kukhala wosavuta kumatanthauza kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mkazi ndi wofunika. Woyamba amachokera kumalo osatetezeka, omalizirawo amachokera kumalo odalirika ndi achikondi
• Kuzimitsa: Azimayi ambiri amaona kuti kuchita zinthu mopupuluma monyanyira n’kosasangalatsa kapena n’kosayenera. Zitha kuwapangitsa kukhala osamasuka kapena kupangitsa kuti munthu asamamulemekeze. Ngati mwamuna sadzinenera yekha, mnzakeyo mosadziwa angayambe kupezerapo mwayi kapena kungotaya chidwi. Ubwenzi wabwino umafuna anthu awiri athunthu, osati munthu m'modzi yemwe amalimbikitsa kudzikonda kwa mnzake nthawi zonse
• Kuthekera kwa kuwongolera: N'zomvetsa chisoni kuti mwamuna yemwe amafunitsitsa kukondweretsa aliyense akhoza kukopa zibwenzi zomwe zingamugwiritse ntchito kapena kumugwiritsa ntchito. Pankhaniyi, chiwopsezo ndi mbendera yofiira yomwe imatha kutsogolera munthu kukhala a maubale oopsa

Momwe Mungalekere Kukhala Wosavuta - Malangizo 9

Kuzindikira kuti mwakhala mukungosewera mopitirira muyeso kungakhale kochititsa manyazi kapena kokhumudwitsa pang'ono, koma nkhani yabwino ndi yakuti mutha kusintha izi. Si chilango cha moyo wanu wonse! Kusiya khalidwe losavuta kumatanthauza kudzilemekeza, kukhazikitsa malire abwino , ndikuphunzira njira zabwino zosonyezera chikondi zomwe sizikuphatikizapo kudzimana.

Ngati mukuyang'ana malangizo amomwe mungasinthire munthu, nazi njira zisanu ndi zinayi zothandiza. Zimayamba ndi kudziona kuti ndi wamtengo wapatali kotero kuti chikondi kapena kukoma mtima kulikonse kumene mungapereke kumachokera kumalo amphamvu, osati osowa. Tiyeni tilowemo:

1. Vomerezani vutolo ndi zotsatira zake pa inu

Gawo loyamba la momwe mungakhalire osakhala ophweka ndi kuzindikira. Khalani oona mtima ndi inu nokha za momwe kusachita zinthu mophweka kwakhudzira moyo wanu. Kodi mukumva kutopa, kuda nkhawa, kapena kunyalanyazidwa ? Kodi mwazindikira kuti mwataya umunthu wanu pamene mukufuna kuvomerezedwa ndi wina? Onaninso zotsatira zake zoipa. Mwina mukutsalira pa zolinga zanu, kapena thanzi lanu la maganizo lakhala likuda nkhawa nthawi zonse kuti musangalatse munthuyu.

Zingakhale zopweteka kuvomereza kuti, “Ndakhala ndikutaya ulemu wanga kaamba ka munthu amene safuna kubwezera,” koma kuchita zimenezo kumandipatsa mphamvu. Lembani zochitika zina zomwe mukudziwa kuti munadzikulitsa nokha komanso momwe zimakupangitsani kumva. Kuvomereza uku ndikofunikira chifukwa kumapangitsa kuti mawu oti "china chake sichili bwino" amveke bwino pankhani yayikulu. Pomvetsetsa kuti khalidwe lanu ndilo gawo la nkhaniyo, mumabwezeretsanso ulamuliro m'manja mwanu. Sikuti winayo ndi “waukali” kapena “amapezerapo mwayi”, sikuti mwakhala mukupatsa mopambanitsa. Ndipo mukhoza kusintha.

2. Ikani malire omveka bwino

Kuti mumvetse momwe mungasinthire munthu wina, choyamba muyenera kukhala ndi yankho lomveka bwino la funso, chifukwa chiyani anthu amaphweka? Monga tanenera kale, nthawi zambiri zimatengera, 

• Kudziyang'anira pansi 
• Anxious attachment style 
• Kusatetezeka 
• Zizolowezi zokondweretsa anthu 
• Kudalira

Kukhazikitsa malire athanzi ndi njira yoyesedwa nthawi yayitali yodzitetezera ku zizolowezi zoyipa zochokera kuzinthu izi. Choncho, ndi nthawi yojambula mizere ina. Sankhani zomwe mukufuna ndi zomwe simungachitire ena, ndipo tsatirani izi. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kukhazikitsa lamulo loti musayankhe malemba osafulumira pakatha ola linalake, kapena musagwiritse ntchito ndalama zoposa ndalama zomwe munapanga pa mphatso / madeti pokhapokha ngati ubalewo uli wogwirizana. Zingatanthauzenso kusankha kusalekerera kusalemekeza: ngati akuitana 2 AM kuti akwere basi ndipo simuli bwino ndi zimenezo, malire angakhale "Ayi, ndikufuna chidziwitso china". 

Malire amakhalanso ndi nthawi yokhala nokha. Mwachitsanzo, “Lachitatu lililonse, ndimakhala ndi anzanga/banja, ndipo sindidzasiyanso kuti ndimuone mphindi yomaliza.” Mukaika malire amenewa, kambiranani modekha ngati pakufunika kutero. Simuyenera kulengeza kuti "Sindikumvanso!" Mwachidule tsimikizirani kupezeka kwanu ndi malire: “Sindingathe kuyankhula pakali pano, ndidzakupezani mawa,” kapena “Pepani, sindingakwanitse kutero.” 

Ngati munthuyo akuzoloŵera kukhala ndi malire a ziro, akhoza kudabwa kapena kukankhira kumbuyo. Khalani olimba. Dzilemekezeni mokwanira kuti muyike zolondera. Chotsatira chodabwitsa ndichakuti anthu amakonda kukulemekezani kwambiri mukamadzilemekeza nokha. Ndipo ngati wina salemekeza malire anu? Ndiwo mbendera yofiyira pa iwo, ndipo mumakhala bwino opanda mphamvu.

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3. Yang'ananinso pa zolinga zanu ndi zokonda zanu

Chimodzi mwazabwino zosiya nsonga zaposachedwa ndikumanga moyo womwe suli wozungulira zomwe mumakonda. Ganizirani za zokonda, zokonda, ndi maloto omwe mwina munasiya. Yakwana nthawi yowabweretsanso patsogolo. Kodi mumakonda zaluso, masewera, zolemba, nyimbo, koma kwa miyezi ingapo yapitayi nthawi zambiri mumayang'ana foni yanu kudikirira mawu? Bwereraninso muzokonda zimenezo. 

Khalani ndi zolinga zanu zomwe zimakusangalatsani komanso zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi kugometsa wina. Kungakhale kupita kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi pafupipafupi, kuphunzira luso latsopano, kupititsa patsogolo ntchito yanu, kapena kukonzekera ulendo ndi anzanu. Poganizira za kukula kwanu, zinthu ziwiri zazikulu zimachitika: 

• Mumakhala odzidalira komanso osangalatsa—makhalidwe amene amakopa muubwenzi wabwino
• Mumatanganidwa ndi malingaliro anu ndi nthawi, ndikusiya malo ochepa oti muganizire mopambanitsa za munthuyo

Izi sizingowonjezera kudzidalira kwanu kokha, komanso zidzasintha mphamvu ya munthu kukhala yofanana. Simulinso munthu wopanda chilichonse kupatula kudzipereka; ndinu munthu wokhala ndi cholinga. Zimenezo ndi zokongola komanso zathanzi.

4. Phunzirani kunena kuti “ayi” 

Kwa anthu okonda kusangalatsa anthu nthawi zonse, mawu akuti “ayi” angamveke ngati mawu a zilembo zinayi. Koma khulupirirani, ndi limodzi mwa mawu omasuka kwambiri m'Chingelezi. Yambani m'njira zazing'ono ngati pakufunika kutero. Ngati akupempha thandizo lomwe silikusangalatsani, yesetsani kunena kuti, “Pepani, sindingathe nthawi ino.” Ngati ayesa kukukhumudwitsani kapena kukukakamizani, khalani pansi. Simuyenera kulipira zifukwa zilizonse. “Ayi” ndi chiganizo chathunthu.

Poyamba, izi zitha kukupatsani nkhawa. Mutha kuda nkhawa kuti, “Kodi akasiya kundikonda ndikakana?” Koma kumbukirani, ngati chikondi cha munthu wina pa inu chimadalira kokha kuti mulibe malire kapena zokonda, chikondi chimenecho sichiyenera kukhala nacho. M'kupita kwa nthawi, zimakhala zosavuta. Ndipo nthawi iliyonse mukamamatira ku "ayi" ndipo thambo silikugwa, mudzakhala ndi chidaliro. Ichi ndi sitepe yaikulu kuchoka mu simp zone ndikukhala wokhazikika inu. Kudziona kukhala wofunika kumafuna kuchita zinthu mwanzeru, ndipo kunena kuti ayi kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale woyenerera.

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5. Khalani ndi mtima wodzilemekeza

Langizo la momwe mungasiyire kusewera ndi losavuta koma lofunikira kwambiri: gwiritsani ntchito momwe mumadziwonera nokha. Ngati simpling wakhala chitsanzo chanu, mwayi mwakhala mukuwaika ena pamwamba panu chifukwa pansi pansi, mukhoza kumverera kuti ali pamwamba panu. Yakwana nthawi yotsutsa nkhaniyo. Ndinu wofunikira chilichonse monga munthu amene mumamukonda. Yambani kudzichitira nokha kukoma mtima ndi nkhawa zomwe mwakhala mukupereka. Izi zingaphatikizepo zinthu zing'onozing'ono monga kusamalira maonekedwe anu, kudya bwino, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, osati chifukwa cha wina, koma kwa inu. 

Zimakhudzanso zokambirana zamkati. Samalani zolankhula zanu. Ngati nthawi zambiri mumaganiza kuti, “Ine sindine wokwanira kwa iwo” kapena “Ndiyenera kuchita X kapena palibe amene angandikonde,” gwirani maganizowo ndi kuwafunsa. Chifukwa chiyani simungakhale wabwino mokwanira? Aliyense ali ndi zolakwika. Zimenezo sizimakupangitsani kukhala wosayenerera ulemu kapena chikondi. Nthawi zina kulemba mndandanda wa makhalidwe anu abwino ndi zomwe mwakwaniritsa kungakuthandizeni kukumbukira kufunika kwanu.

Mungathenso kuganizira zofunafuna chithandizo kuti mukhale odzidalira, kaya kulankhula ndi mnzanu wodalirika, kulowa nawo gulu lothandizira, kapena ngakhale kuonana ndi dokotala. Katswiri wa zamisala atha kukuthandizani kufotokoza chifukwa chake mungagwirizane ndi kuvomerezedwa ndi ena komanso momwe mungakulitsirenso chidaliro chanu kuchokera mkati. Pamene mukukula kudzilemekeza, mudzawona kuti mukusiya kulekerera makhalidwe ena. Zidzakhala zachibadwa kuganiza kuti, "Pepani, ndiyenera kukhala wabwino kuposa kukhala wosankha kapena mnyamata wongoyendayenda." 

6. Fotokozani maganizo anu ndi zosowa zanu momasuka

Msampha umodzi womwe umagweramo ndikubisa malingaliro awo enieni kapena zosowa zawo poopa kugwedeza bwato. Mwinamwake mwakhala mukuchita mwakachetechete, kuchita zinthu zabwino zonsezi, koma osanena moona mtima zomwe mukufuna. Yakwana nthawi yoti tisinthe. Kulankhulana ndikofunikira pa ubale uliwonse wabwino. Ngati muli ndi chikondi kwa munthu amene amangokuonani ngati bwenzi, m’malo momangokhalira kukakamirabe n’kumayembekezera kuti aona kudzipereka kwanu, ganizirani mofatsa kumudziwitsa mmene mukumvera ndi kukhala wokonzeka kulemekeza yankho lawo, ngakhale si zimene munkayembekezera. 

Ngati muli pachibwenzi kapena pachibwenzi ndipo mwadziluma lilime pazinthu zomwe zimakuvutitsani, yambani kuzilankhula. Mwachitsanzo, “Ndimakhumudwa mukasiya zimene mwakonza nthawi yatha,” kapena “Ndimazindikira kuti ndakhala ndikuvomerezana nanu nthawi zonse, koma zoona zake n’zakuti, nthawi zina ndikanakonda kuti tichitenso zimene ndimakonda.” Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mwadzidzidzi mudzakangana kapena monyanyira. Mukungonena zoona. 

Iyi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pophunzira momwe mungakhalire osakhala ophweka chifukwa nthawi zambiri kusuta fodya kumafuna kupsinjika maganizo ndikuchita zinthu zabwino poyembekezera mphotho zosanenedwa. Imeneyo ndi malo okulirapo kusamvetsetsana ndi kukwiya muubwenzi . Mukalankhula, mukutsimikiza kuti simuli wofera chikhulupiriro chete. Zingakhale zoopsa chifukwa mumakhala pachiwopsezo chokana kapena kusamvana, koma zimakhala bwino pakapita nthawi.

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7. Yesetsani kudzisamalira ndikuyika ndalama mu maubwenzi ena

Mukakhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi munthu m'modzi, ndizosavuta kuyiwala dziko lonse lapansi. Ngati mukufuna kusiya kungokhala chete, ndi nthawi yoti musinthe izi pokulitsa maukonde anu othandizira ndikudzisamalira nokha. Yesetsani kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu amene amakuonani kuti ndinu wofunika. Kukulitsa maubwenzi ena opindulitsa kumakukumbutsani kuti kufunikira kwanu sikudalira munthu mmodzi. 

Zimathandizanso kukhutitsidwa ndi malingaliro, kotero simungodalira kokha kutsimikizika kwachikondi. Pitani ku kanema wausiku ndi anzanu, imbani abale anu kapena abale anu, khalani ndi anthu omwe ali ndi zokonda zofanana ndi zanu. Pamene mukumanganso maubwenzi awa, mudzamva kukhala okhazikika komanso osaganizira kwambiri za momwe munthu mmodziyo amachitira. Nthawi yomweyo, onjezerani pang'ono zochita zanu zodzisamalira . Izi zitha kuphatikizapo,

• Kupatula mphindi 30 patsiku kuti muchite zomwe mumakonda kwambiri, kuwerenga, kusewera, kuyenda, kusinkhasinkha.
• Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi osati kungowoneka bwino kwa wina, koma kuti mukhale olimba komanso odzidalira nokha
• Kukhalabe ndi zizolowezi zabwino za kugona
• Kudzikongoletsa ndi chizolowezi chodzikongoletsa kapena zovala zatsopano zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva bwino
• Kulemba maganizo anu 

Mukamadzisamalira komanso kucheza ndi anthu osiyanasiyana, m'pamenenso mumangolakalaka komanso kukhala ndi chidwi ndi munthu m'modzi. Monga bonasi, moyo wokhazikika umangopangitsa kuti ukhale wokongola komanso wosalolera zachabechabe. Ndikosavuta kunena “ayi” kapena kuchokapo mukakhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa kuti mubwerere.

8. Pumulani pachibwenzi ngati pakufunika kutero

Ngati khalidwe lanu losavuta lakhala lachizoloŵezi, kungakhale kwanzeru kugunda batani lopuma pa chibwenzi kwa kanthawi kochepa. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuti mukonzenso njira yanu yolumikizirana. Ganizirani za inu nokha popanda chododometsa chofuna kupambana wina. Izi siziyenera kukhala lumbiro lochititsa chidwi la umbeta kapena china chilichonse. Zitha kungotanthauza kusatsata aliyense kwa miyezi ingapo pomwe mukugwiritsa ntchito zosintha zomwe takambirana. 

Pa nthawi yopuma imeneyi, tcherani khutu ku momwe kukhala wekha kumamvera. Zingakhale zosasangalatsa poyamba ngati mumazolowera kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika kwa munthu wina, koma khalani nazo. Mudzazindikira kuti muli bwino - ngakhale osangalala - nokha, mukazolowera. Mudzakhala ndi nthawi yoganizira zomwe mukufunadi mwa mnzanu mukayambanso, ndi momwe mukufuna kuti akuchitireni.

9. Landirani mgwirizano ndi kuyembekezera kubwezerana

Mfundoyi imagwira ntchito pamene mukugwiritsa ntchito zomwe zili pamwambazi ndikuyambanso kukondana kapena ngati mukupitiriza ubale wanu ndi kusintha. Yesetsani kuchitirana khama muyeso wanu watsopano wagolide. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mumapereka ndikuwonetsa chisamaliro, koma mukuyembekezera zomwezo pobwezera. Sizokhudza kukhala wocheperako koma za kusanja bwino. 

Ngati mwavomereza kale zinyenyeswazi, tsopano mukudikirira keke yonse kapena kuchokapo. Zingamveke ngati ndinu "wankhanza," koma ndi chilungamo. Mukuyenera munthu amene amakulemberani mameseji nthawi zina, amene amakufunsani mmene tsiku lanu linalili, amene amakuchitirani zinthu zabwino popanda kupempha. Mukayamba kukumana ndi machitidwe awa, mudzadabwa chifukwa chake mudakhazikika pang'ono. Ulemu, chikondi cha mbali ziwiri ndicho mankhwala ochepetsetsa. 

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Kuphonya kungawoneke ngati meme kapena nthabwala pa intaneti, koma kumakhudza machitidwe enieni amalingaliro ndi misampha yamaubwenzi. Ngati mwazindikira zina mwazochita izi mwa inu nokha, musadzipweteke nokha. Ambiri aife, nthawi ina, tachita mopambanitsa pofunafuna chikondi kapena kuvomerezedwa. Chofunika ndi zomwe mukuchita kenako. Pomvetsetsa zomwe kupepuka ndi, kuwona zizindikiro msanga, ndikusintha mozindikira, mutha kudzibweza kuti muzitha kuchita bwino.

Kumbukirani kuti palibe cholakwika ndi kukhala wokoma mtima, wowolowa manja, kapena wokonda kwambiri munthu. Amenewo ndi makhalidwe abwino kwambiri. Ndi chifukwa chake ndi momwe mumawafotokozera ndizofunikira. Chikondi chiyenera kulimbikitsa onse awiri, osasiya kulambira kumapazi kwa mnzake. Pamapeto pake, moyo ndi chikondi ndizokhudza kupeza bwino. Mukufuna kuti muthe kupereka chikondi kwaulere, komanso kulandira. Mukufuna kusamalira ena, komanso kudzisamalira nokha. 

Cholinga sikuumitsa mtima wanu kapena kusewera masewera amphamvu; ndiko kukonda popanda kudzitaya wekha. Mukakwaniritsa izi, mudzadabwa chifukwa chake mudangokhalira kuchita zochepa. Choncho pitirirani, khalani okoma mtima, khalani achikondi, khalani “enieni” ndi anthu. Osayiwala kusonyeza kukoma mtima ndi chikondi kwa munthu amene amachifuna kwambiri: nokha.

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