Zinthu 9 Zofunika Kuchita Kuti Mwamuna Akhale Wamisala M'chikondi Ndi Iwe

Kufalitsa chikondi

Ah, funso lomwe tonse timalephera kufunsa. Pali malangizo masauzande osiyanasiyana okhudza momwe mungakhazikitsire munthu wamaloto anu, koma timayiwala kuti kugwa m'chikondi ndi chiyambi chabe cha ulendo wonse. Zili ngati kulowa kuyunivesite imodzi imene mumafunadi, koma palibe amene amakuuzani zoti muchite mukakhalamo. Momwemonso, sikophweka kusunga ubale ndikupangitsa mwamuna kapena mkazi kukhala wamisala m'chikondi ndi inu.

Chikondi sichimangokhalira kugwerana wina ndi mnzake. Chikondi ndikukhala komwe kumabwera pambuyo pa kugwa. Ndi kusankha kosalekeza komwe anthu amapanga akakhala limodzi tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndipo ngakhale palibe njira yeniyeni yosungira munthu ndi inu (zomwe zimamveka ngati kutsekera munthu m'ndende, kukhala woona mtima), pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti ubale wanu ukhalebe wachikondi.

Ngakhale kuti pali mikhalidwe imene amuna amapeza kuti ndi yosaletseka mwa akazi, mofananamo pali mikhalidwe imene imachititsa kuti mtima wake usungunuke. Timakuuzani zinsinsi zakukhalabe openga m'chikondi, kuti musamachite zinthu zolakwika kapena kukankhira wokondedwa wanu kutali ndi kusokoneza malo awo.

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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kodi mwadzidzidzi muyenera kuyamba kuthandizira gulu lake lamasewera lomwe amalikonda? Kodi uyenera kutsagana nawo usiku wonse wa anyamata ake? Kodi kuchita zomwe amakonda pakama kungamupangitse kukhala wamisala m'chikondi ndi inu? Zonsezi zitha kumveka ngati zachiphamaso, koma ndizotheka kuti mwakhala mukuganizira izi ngati yankho la “mmene mungasungire mwamuna kuti azikondana nanu mpaka kalekale”.

Mwatsoka, adzakunamizira nthawi yomwe mwayamba kuthandiza gulu lolakwika mwangozi. Anyamata onse adzadana ndi kukhalapo kwanu pausiku wa anyamatawo, ndipo kugonana kumeneko kungamupangitse kukhalapo kwa kanthawi, koma osati kwamuyaya. Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati vuto lalikulu, kupeza "momwe mungasungire mwamuna kukukondani" si sayansi yopambana.

Amuna ndi akazi amalankhulana chikondi m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Chifukwa chake musanamalize kulowerera pa "nthawi yanga" yamtengo wapatali, yang'anani zinsinsi izi kuti mukhalebe m'chikondi. Mukamaliza, mudzazindikira kuti sizovuta monga momwe mungakhalire.

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1. Nenani mawu atatuwo

Inde, ndikutanthauza chivomerezo cha chikondi. Izi ndizodziwikiratu, komabe kufunika kwake sikunganenedwe mopambanitsa. Pazochitika za tsiku ndi tsiku, anthu amakonda kuiwala kuuzana kuti amakondana. Poganizira kuti ndi zomwe zidawafikitsa poyambirira, ndikofunikira kuti zitchulidwe.

Monga mantra, ndi chinthu chomwe chingapangitse zinthu kukhala zamoyo. Sindikutanthauza kuti muyenera kubwereza mpaka tanthauzo lake litachoka, koma kumapeto kwa tsiku, muuze mwamuna wanu kuti amakondedwa. Lidzakhala chikumbutso kwa nonse awiri.

2. Chidaliro ndi kuyatsa

Wina amene ali wodziwa za dziko ali ndi maganizo ake pa izo ndipo sachita mantha kulankhula nawo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zokopa kwambiri zomwe munthu angakhale. Inde, kudziwa momwe mungasungire mwamuna kuti akukondeni kwamuyaya ndikosavuta monga kudzidalira, kukhala ndi umunthu wamphamvu, ndi kupereka chinachake mwanzeru.

Ngati ndinu mkazi wotero, amene ali ndi chidwi ndi zomwe zikuchitika ndipo simuopa kunena maganizo anu, kudzidalira kwanu ndi njira yabwino kwambiri kwa amuna ambiri . Amakonda kuona okondedwa awo akulankhula mosangalala za zinthu. Ndipo amene amatsatira malamulo ndi kudzichepetsa m'zochitika zotere sayenera malo muubwenzi wanu. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungamupangitsire kuti akufuneni, ndiye kuti izi zitha kukhala choncho.

3. Tengani tsamba m'buku la Thelma ndi Louise

Thelma ndi Louise ndi nkhani yokhudza akazi awiri omwe amachita upandu ndipo pamapeto pake amapha miyoyo yawo pamodzi m'malo mogwidwa ndi apolisi. Sindikupemphani kuti muchoke pa phiri limodzi, koma lingaliro lakuti mudzakhala naye ndi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kwa amuna ndipo ndikudabwa kuti sichidziwika bwino pakadali pano.

Kumva kuti mudzakwera naye kunkhondo ngati ndizomwe zimafunikira. Pamene aona kuti ndinu munthu amene angamange naye ufumu, n’chinthu chimene chingam’pangitse kufuna kukhala ndi inu nthawi yonse yotsalayo. Chinsinsi cha kukhalabe m'chikondi mu ubale uliwonse ndi chithandizo. Mwamuna wanu akadziwa kuti muli ndi nsana nthawi iliyonse, adzaonetsetsa kuti akukupatsani zonse zake.

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4. Ana ali bwanji?

Izi zikugwira ntchito kwa amuna ndi akazi komanso anthu omwe akufuna kukhala ndi ana m'tsogolomu. Momwe muli pafupi ndi ana, momwe amakukonderani, ndi mayeso a litmus anthu ambiri muubwenzi amafuna zotsatira za. Anthu ambiri adzapeza , "uyu ndi mlonda", kukhala ngati akumvera anzawo ngati ali ndi chidwi ndi ana.

Kotero kupatula ngati inu ndi kukongola kwanu ndinu anthu omwe simumadziwona kuti mukukhala ndi ana, mungafune kuyesetsa izi. Ngati ndinu wamkulu kale ndi ana, ndiye inu kale kuwina m'munda makamaka.

5. Mphamvu zamaganizo

Amuna si anthu opanda nzeru omwe samamvetsetsa momwe akumvera. Imeneyo ndi nthano chabe. Iwo, komabe, ali ndi chikhalidwe chosonyeza kukhudzika kochepa kusiyana ndi akazi. Uwu ndi upangiri wofunikira kwambiri waubwenzi kwa amayi. Amauzidwa kuti kusonyeza zakukhosi kwanu ndi kufooka, zomwe zimapangitsa ena a iwo kulimbana ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo.

Uchimuna woopsa ndi chinthu choipa kwambiri, ndipo ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe chimaphunzitsa amuna. Kodi zimenezo zikugwirizana bwanji ndi funso lomwe lili pano, mungafunse?

Eya, chifukwa cha kuwopa maganizo awo, kuthekera kwawo kuwamvetsetsa ndi kuwalemekeza kumasokonekera. Choncho, ngati mukuona kuti kulankhula pawekha kumawapangitsa kuona kuwala, mungafunike kuyembekezera nthawi yaitali.

Ngati ndinu munthu wokonda kwambiri, muyenera kudziwa ngati mnzanuyo angamvetse kapena ayi. Kupanda kutero, mungopeza kukhumudwa ndi kusalumikizana bwino zikukuyembekezerani. Zingatenge nthawi, koma ngati muyesa kulankhula chinenero chake kapena kumupangitsa kuti alankhule chinenero chanu, mukhoza kumalankhulana bwino kwambiri, ndipo amenewo ndiwo maziko a unansi wokhalitsa.

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6. Manja osavuta amapita kutali

Mubweretsereni zokhwasula-khwasula zomwe amakonda kwambiri kapena muphikire chakudya chimene amachikonda kwambiri. Amuna amakonda kwambiri mukakumbukira zakudya zomwe amakonda. Anthu ambiri amakonda. Mukhoza kuchita chimodzimodzi kwa onse apamtima anu. Komanso, ingosungani zinthu zomwe amakonda ngati mukukhala motalikirana. Akamayendera n’kuona zinthuzo, sikuti amangopeza zinthu zimene amakonda. Amawonanso kuti mwazindikira ndikumusamala mokwanira kuti mumugulire.

Kuchita zinthu zosavuta zosonyeza chikondi kudzamutsimikizira kuti mumamukonda. Adzakukondaninso mokwiya. Sanganene mokweza nthawi zonse, chifukwa kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu n’kopanda pake (unyamata woopsa ndi wopweteka!), koma adzazindikira zimenezo.

7. Mutamandeni pamaso pa anzanu

Njira imodzi yosonyezera kuti muli ndi nsana ndiyo kumutamanda pamaso pa anzanu. Zosavuta, "Anyamata, chibwenzi changa chinachita chokoma dzulo", sichidzangomupangitsa manyazi, komanso kuchitira nsanje atsikana anu onse. Mbalame ziwiri, mwala umodzi.

Ndipo osati anzanu okha, mukhoza kutero pamaso pa anzake. Ngakhale anyamata amakonda kuoneka ngati amuna pamaso pa anzawo (kachiwiri, toxic toxic masculinity!), mukhoza mwina kuyamikira mmene kukongola wanu ali woseketsa kapena momwe iye nthawizonse akumenya masewera olimbitsa thupi. Anyamata anzake sangamuseke chifukwa cha izi, ndipo mwapeza momwe mungasungire mwamuna kuti akukondeni.

8. Mtetezeni

Ponena za kumutamanda, ngati muwona abwenzi kapena makolo awo akumuchotsa mwachisawawa kapena kunena chinachake chonyansa, muteteze pamaso pa aliyense. Simukuyenera kumenya nkhonya, koma ngakhale kusagwirizana ndi wina kungakhale mawu oterowo.

Kusemphana maganizo pang’ono popanda kukweza mawu kungamveketse mfundoyo. Ngati pakufunika kutero, khalani olimba. Inu kukhala ndi nsana wa mwamuna wanu ndi chinthu chofunikira kwa iwo, ndipo chidzamupangitsa kuti azikondana kwambiri ndi inu.

9. Landirani banja loleredwa

Ngati inu ndi mwamuna wanu mwasankha kukhazikitsa zinthu mwalamulo, ndipo sindikutanthauza kulengeza pa Instagram kuti muli pachibwenzi, ndikutanthauza kukwatirana kapena kusamukira kubanja, ndiye kuti mungafunike kukhazikitsa mtendere ndi gulu la anzanu. Ngati akuonani mukuyesera kumulekanitsa ndi anzake, adzakukwiyirani ndipo nthawi zonse zidzakhala nkhani yokangana.

Simuyenera kuthera nthawi yanu ndi iwo nthawi zonse, koma muyenera kupanga mtendere ndi mfundo yakuti adzakhala nawo. Ngati mukwanitsa kuchita nawo ubwenzi, izi sizingakhale vuto, koma apo ayi, onse awiri ayenera kusinthana ndi magulu a wina ndi mzake.

Komabe, ngati mukudziwa kuti anzake ena ndi oipa kwa iye, ndi bwino kumuuza chifukwa chake mukuganiza kuti sayenera kukhala nawo. Musakankhire nkhaniyo mwamphamvu, komabe. Nthaŵi ina pamene bwenzi lakelo silidzabweza ndalama zimene anamkongolayo, iye adzazindikiranso zimenezo.

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Zambiri zomwe zatchulidwa pano sizikukhudzana ndi jenda. Anthu amatha kugwa m'njira zosamvetsetseka, monga momwe nyimboyi imanenera, koma zokumana nazo za jenda sizimasiyana nthawi zonse. Mmene angasonyezere zakukhosi kwawo kaŵirikaŵiri zimasintha mogwirizana ndi mmene anthu amakhalira, koma maziko a chikondi n’ngofala. Kulemekezana, kukhala ndi nsana, ndi kuona mtima zidzapangitsa aliyense kukhalabe paubwenzi ndi kukhala openga mchikondi.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi nchiyani chimene chimachititsa mwamuna kuyamba misala m’chikondi ndi mkazi?

Kudziwa kuti ali ndi nsana, podziwa kuti amuthandiza pazochitika zake zonse, ndikungomuuza kuti amamukonda, ndizokwanira kuti mwamuna ayambe kukondana ndi mkazi wake.

2. Mungapangitse bwanji kuti mwamuna akufuneni?

Ngati mukufuna kuti mwamuna akufuneni, chomwe muyenera kuchita ndikukhala wosamala ndi zosowa zake. Muziyamikira machitidwe ake, muzimukomera mtima ndipo muzimuyamikira, mupatseni chisamaliro choyenera pamene mukulemekeza malo ake. Komabe, ngati mukufuna kukopa mwamuna , sizovuta kwambiri.

3. Kodi ndimamusunga bwanji kuti afune zambiri?

Mwa kungomuchirikiza, kumuuza mmene mumam’ganizira, ndi kukhalapo kwa iye, mudzalimbitsa malo anu m’moyo wake.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.