Mitundu Yosiyanasiyana Yakukopa Ndi Momwe Mungadziwire

Tonse takopeka ndi munthu wina ngakhale sitikumudziwa bwino. Timakumana ndi imodzi mwamitundu yambiri yokopa…kapena zambiri mwa izo nthawi imodzi. Inde, zimenezo zikhoza kuchitika, monga momwe tidzadziŵira posachedwapa. Atha kukhala wantchito mnzathu, mnzako wakusekondale, kapena wina amene munakumana naye mwachidule paphwando. Mumakopeka nawo ngati kuti mphamvu ina yakunja yosadziwika bwino ikukokerani inu awiri.

Malinga ndi phunziro, maonekedwe a thupi ndiwo chinthu chachikulu chodziŵira mlingo wa kukopeka muubwenzi wachikondi womwe ungatheke. Zimaphatikizapo masitayelo a tsitsi, kavalidwe kake, komanso kutengera ndalama.

Kuti tidziwe za mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya zokopa mu psychology, tidafikira Nandita Rambhia, amene amayang'anira nkhani zofananira, kulera ana, komanso upangiri wopitilira muyeso wa nkhani za m'banja. Iye anati: “Pali zinthu zambiri zokopa osati zimene munthu amaziona, mwina chifukwa cha zimene amakonda, makhalidwe ake, ndiponso makhalidwe ake.

Mitundu Yosiyanasiyana Yakukopa Ndi Momwe Mungadziwire

Mitundu yonse yosiyanasiyana ya kukopa mu maubwenzi imatha kufotokozedwa ndikufotokozedwa m'njira zambiri. Nthawi zambiri amalumikizana, kuphatikiza, kapena kuyima mosiyanasiyana. Zitha kuchitika nthawi imodzi, kapena kusintha kuchokera ku mtundu wina kupita ku mtundu wina, kapena kukhalabe m'gulu limodzi. Kaya ndi mitundu ya zokopa pakati pa amuna ndi akazi kapena pakati pa anthu awiri omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, tiyeni tipeze mitundu isanu yodziwika kwambiri yokopa mu maubwenzi: 

1. Kukopeka ndi kugonana 

Nandita akuti, "Kukopeka ndi kugonana ndi momwe zimamvekera. Umayang'ana munthu ndikukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana pamene ali pafupi, umamva chikhumbo chofuna kukhala naye mwakuthupi. zizindikiro zonse zokopana zomwe sizinganyalanyazidwe pakati pa anthu aŵiri, ndiye kuti angathe kuzipititsa patsogolo ndi kukwaniritsa zokhumba zawo zakugonana.”

Kugonana nthawi zambiri kumakhala kwamagetsi ndipo kumayambitsidwa ndi kukopana. Nthawi zambiri, kugonana kumafunika kuchitika pofuna kuthetsa kusamvana kumeneku pakati pa anthu awiri (kapena kuposerapo). 

Nazi zina zokhudza kukopeka ndi kugonana:

• Sizimangopezeka kwa anthu omwe mumawadziwa m'moyo weniweni. Mutha kukopeka ndi katswiri wa kanema kapena munthu wongopeka
• Zimapitilira mitundu yokopa pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti siziyenera kukhala pafupifupi teronormative.
• Mutha kukopeka ndi munthu wina popanda kulumikizana naye mozama
• Munthu wowongoka amatha kumva kuti ali ndi chilakolako chogonana ndi munthu yemwe ali naye pachibwenzi ndikukhala naye paubwenzi
• Mutha kukopeka ndi anthu angapo nthawi imodzi 

Umu ndi momwe mungadziwire kuti muli ndi vuto logonana ndi wina:

• Mumakopana nawo
• Manja anu amatuluka thukuta
• Simungaleke kuwayang’ana ndi kuwasirira
• Mumalingalira zogonana nawo
• Anthu ena amatha kuzindikira bwino za kugonana pakati panu awiri 
• Mumayatsidwa mwakuthupi ndikudzutsidwa 
• Mawu anu amasintha akakhala pafupi

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zomwe Zimapangitsa Mwamuna Kukhala Wokopa Pogonana - Zinthu 11 Zomwe Sayansi Imapereka

2. Kukopeka ndi chikondi 

Nandita akuti, "Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mitundu yokopa m'maubwenzi yomwe imakhala yozama kwambiri kuposa kukopeka ndi kugonana. Mumalakalaka kugwirizana komwe sikumakwaniritsidwa ndi kugonana. Kukopeka kwachikondi kungakhaleponso popanda kusokonezedwa ndi zochitika za kugonana. Ikhoza kukhala platonic kwathunthu nthawi zambiri."

Nawa zizindikiro za maginito chikondi kukopeka pakati pa anthu awiri:

• Zimaphatikizapo kufuna kukhala ndi munthu wina chifukwa chakuti mumasangalala kukhala nawo
• Mumafunitsitsa kudziwa za iwo ndipo mukufuna kuwadziwa mozama
• Mukufuna kupereka ndi kulandira chikondi
• Itha kukhala yokhazikika kapena yosakhazikika
• Zitha kukhala zazitali kapena zazifupi
• Imafunika kukopeka ndi mtima wonse kuti ichirikize

Mwa kupitiriza kukopeka ndi chikondi chimenechi, mungamangire ubwenzi wapamtima ndi munthu wina pomufunsa mafunso ogwirizana kwa maanja ndi kumathera nthawi yabwino pamodzi. Mwa mitundu yonse ya zokopa, kukopeka mwachikondi kumatha kudziwika poyang'ana kuyandikana kwa anthu awiri.

Zina mwa zinthu zofunika kuzindikila pamene anthu awiri ali pachibwenzi ndi izi:

• Kodi amatumizirana mameseji mosalekeza? 
• Kodi amalimbikitsana bwino? 
• Munthu mmodzi akakhumudwa, zimakhudzanso maganizo a mnzake 
• Pamene wokondedwa wawo sakhala nawo, amakhala akuwaganizira nthawi zonse 
• Pakakhala zokopa zachikondi, amafuna kudziwa momwe tsiku la mnzawo lidalili ndipo amafuna kuwasangalatsa akamakhumudwa.
• Amafuna kudziwa maganizo ndi maganizo a wina ndi mnzake
• Amathandizana kukula mwaluntha, m’maganizo, mwaumwini, ngakhalenso m’zachuma 

3. Kukopa mwakuthupi 

Anthu amapangidwa kuti azikhudzidwa. Osati kwenikweni m'njira yogonana, koma m'njira yofunda. Izi ndi zomwe zimapangitsa kukopeka kwa thupi kukhala kosiyana ndi kukopa kugonana. Mukufuna kukhala pafupi ndi munthu amene mumakopeka naye koma sizogonana. Kukopeka ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi kukopa.

Mukungofuna kukhala pafupi nawo mwakuthupi. Wosema ziboli wotchuka kwambiri padziko lonse, Michelangelo, ananenapo kuti, “Kukhudza ndiko kupereka moyo.” Ngati mukumva kukopeka ndi wina, mukufuna kugwira mkono wake, kugwira dzanja lake, kapena kungokhala pafupi naye.

A phunziro mutu wakuti Human Touch and Loneliness umati kukhudzidwa ndi munthu kumachepetsa kusungulumwa. Kukhudza ndi mawonetseredwe akuthupi achikondi kapena chisamaliro ndizofunikira pa ubale wa anthu komanso kukhala bwino m'malingaliro.  

Pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe timafunikira kulumikizana ndi anthu kuposa kale mu nthawi ya digito:

• Kuchepa kwachiwawa: Malinga ndi kafukufuku chochitidwa ndi James W. Prescott, anthu omwe sakhudzidwa kwambiri ali ana amakhala okonda kuchita zachiwawa akamakula. 
• Amalimbikitsa kukhulupirirana pakati pa anthu: Kukhudza kumathandizira kupanga mgwirizano pakati pa anthu awiri pomwe kumatulutsa oxytocin, yemwe amadziwika kuti 'hormone yachikondi'.
• Mphamvu zamagulu: Kugwirana chanza kumadziwika kuti kumapangitsa kuti anthu azikhulupirirana komanso kupangitsa anthu kumva ngati ndi banja
• Zimayambitsa kugonana kosagonana: Kungogwira dzanja kumapangitsa anthu awiri kukondana
• Ubwino wonse: Kukhudza munthu ndi kukhudzidwa ndi njira zogwirira ntchito ndi kulumikizana kwamunthu. Zimatsogolera ku moyo wabwino wa anthu onse 

Nazi zizindikiro zomwe mukukopeka ndi munthu wina:

• Fungo lawo ndi losangalatsa
• Anu zizindikiro za thupi ndi mphatso pamene mwakopeka ndi wina
• Simungaleke kuwaganizira pakapita nthawi 
• Mumaiwala nkhawa zanu, nkhawa zanu, ndi mavuto ena mukakhala nawo
• Pali kuyang'anizana ndi maso osayimitsa, kapena mudzayang'ana kwinakwake akakupezani mukuwayang'ana
• Mukufuna kupitiriza kulankhula nawo 

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4. Kukopeka ndi maganizo 

Nandita akuti, "Emotional kukopa ndi imodzi mwa mitundu ya kukopa mu psychology pamene mukufuna kulandira ndi kupereka chithandizo, kuvomereza, kukhulupirika, ndi kudalira munthu wina. Ndizozama kuposa mitundu yonse ya zokopa. Umavomereza munthu momwe alili popanda kudandaula. Simukufuna kumusintha kapena kunamizira kuti ndiwe wina pafupi naye. Kukopeka ndi maganizo kudzakhala ndi zonse. zizindikiro za chikondi chopanda malire muubwenzi. Kukopekako kumathanso kukhala kokopa kapena kukhala kosangalatsa. ”

Anthu ndi nyama zimene zimangofuna kumveka. Kukopa kwamalingaliro ndiko chimodzimodzi. Mukufuna kuti wina azikumvetsani. Mukufuna kugawana nawo kusatetezeka kwanu ndi zofooka zanu popanda kuwopa ziweruzo ndi ndemanga zanu. 

Nandita anati: “Mungathe kudziwa zizindikiro za kukopeka mtima mukauza munthu zinthu zimene mumaopa, zimene mukuyembekezera, zimene mukufuna kuchita m’tsogolo, komanso zimene mukufuna kuchita m’tsogolo.

Mutha kukopeka ndi nthabwala za munthu wina, luntha, kapena machitidwe awo osasamala. Mutha kukopeka ndi momwe amakupangitsani kudzimvera. Sikofunikira kuti kukopeka ndi kugonana kukhalepo. Nthawi zina, sizikhala zachikondi kapena zakuthupi. Mwachitsanzo, mabwenzi aŵiri angakhale ogwirizana kwambiri m’maganizo.

Mutha kuzindikira zinthu zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati kukopa maganizo posanthula zizindikiro izi:

• Mumamva ngati akukupezani. Amakumvetsetsani mkati ndi kunja
• Mumacheza nawo kwanthawi yayitali usiku
• Pali kukhulupirirana komwe kumakupangitsani kukhala omasuka pakati pawo 
• Mutha kukhala osatetezeka nawo popanda mantha 
• Palibe mawu odzudzula kapena odzudzula mopambanitsa
• Simusamala kuika maganizo awo patsogolo pa anu
• Palibe mphamvu yakunja yopangitsa kukopako kupitirire
• Kukhala chete sikukuwopsyezani kapena kukutopetsani

5. Kukopa kokongola 

Kukongola kokongola ndi pamene mumakopeka ndi maonekedwe a munthu. Muli pa laibulale mukufufuza mabuku ndipo mwawona wina wowoneka bwino. Mumaona kuti maso awo ali osangalatsa kapena mungakopeke ndi momwe amalankhulira ndi woyang'anira mabuku. Kapena angakhale ndi kumwetulira kokongola. Ichi ndi chinthu choyamba chimene timawona mwa anthu. Mmene amaonekera, zimene avala komanso mmene amalankhulira. Ndi chimene anthu amachitcha motchuka chikondi powonana koyamba.

Kukopa kumeneku potengera mayendedwe awo, zikhalidwe zawo, ndi zovuta zake zimatsimikizira ngati kukopako kudzakhala zokopa zamitundu ina. Ikhoza kuchotsedwa ku mitundu ina yonse ya zokopa kapena ikhoza kutsogolera ku zina zinayi.

Mutha kuzindikira kukopa kokongola mwa zizindikiro zotsatirazi:

• Mtima wanu umagunda mukamawawona. Mtima wanu ukuthamanga ngati mwangothamanga kwa mphindi zisanu molunjika
• Simungaleke kuyang’ana wina aliyense pambali pawo
• Mutha kukopeka ndi tsitsi lawo lakunkhope, mikono, miyendo, komanso ma biceps kapena mapewa awo

Mtundu uliwonse wa kukopa ndi wofunikira mu ubale wa anthu. Mufunika kukopa zokongola kuti muyandikire munthu. Mumafunika kukopeka mtima kuti mugwirizane nawo. Muyenera kukopeka ndi chikondi kuti muyambe kukondana. Zonsezi, anthu ambiri amafuna kuti mitundu yonse ya zokopa zimenezi ikhale ndi moyo wachimwemwe ndi wokhutiritsa. 

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