Ndikufuna Chibwenzi: Zinthu 9 Zoti Muganizire Ndi Malangizo 11 Omwe Mungapezere

Kufalitsa chikondi

“Ndikufuna chibwenzi,” anatero mnzanga David pamene tinakumana pakumwa khofi kumapeto kwa mlungu. Kwa nthawi yaitali, iye ankafunitsitsa kukhala naye limodzi. Anayesa ngakhale mapulogalamu a zibwenzi, koma sizinaphule kanthu. Atatopa komanso atakhumudwa, anandifunsa kuti, “Bwanji ndilibe chibwenzi? Sindinathe kubisa mawu anga ndipo ndinamuuza kuti akufunika kusiya khalidwe lake lotayirira ngati akufunadi mtsikana pamoyo wake.

Ndinamuuza kuti asanayambe kufunafuna chibwenzi, adzifunse kuti, “Kodi ndimafuna chibwenzi kapena ndimangofuna munthu wongofuna kutero?” Chabwino, ngati mukufunadi chibwenzi, kodi ndinu wokonzeka kudzigwira ntchito ngati pakufunika? Awa ndi mafunso ofunikira ndipo ndikofunikira kupeza mayankho ake.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku, 47 % ya aku America amakhulupirira kuti chibwenzi ndi chovuta tsopano poyerekeza ndi zaka khumi zapitazo. Koma, simuyenera kuda nkhawa nazo. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungapezere chibwenzi, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni. Tidzakuthandizaninso kupeza yankho la funso lomwe mwina lakhala likusokonezani kwa nthawi ndithu: "N'chifukwa chiyani ndikufuna chibwenzi choyipa kwambiri?" Choncho, tiyeni tiyambe.

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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Ngakhale kuti n’zachibadwa kuganiza kuti ‘Ndikufuna chibwenzi,’ munthu ayenera kupewa kuthamangira mu ubale. Mungapeze ambiri a iwo akufunsa anzawo kuti akuthandizeni kapena kufufuza 'momwe angapezere chibwenzi' pa intaneti.

Komabe, ndikofunikira kudziyang'anira nokha ndikudziwa yankho la: "N'chifukwa chiyani ndikufuna bwenzi loyipa kwambiri?" Ndi chifukwa chofuna kutsimikizira anthu kapena kungotengera anzawo? Kapena mumauwona ngati mwayi woti mugonane ndi munthu wina? Palibe chilichonse mwa izi chomwe chili zifukwa zomveka. M'malo mwake, zifukwa ngati izi ndizizindikiro zomveka kuti simupeza bwenzi kapena chibwenzi chanu sichikhalitsa.

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Pepani chifukwa chonena zoona zowawa. Koma ndikhulupirireni! Mutha kukhala opanda chibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali ngati zolinga zanu sizabwino. Chifukwa ngakhale mutakwanitsa kulowa muubwenzi zabodza zam'tsogolo, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi adzadziŵa chowonadi ndi kukusiyani. Kusweka muzochitika zotere kumakhala kosapeweka. Choncho, musananene kuti, “Ndikufuna bwenzi lachibwenzi,” ganizirani zinthu zisanu ndi zinayi zomwe zafotokozedwa pansipa:

1. Kodi ndi chifukwa chotengera anzawo?

Anzako onse akakhala ndi chibwenzi, n'zosavuta kuganiza 'ndikukhumba ndikanakhala ndi chibwenzi'. Mwinanso mukulandira malangizo opezera bwenzi kuchokera kwa anzanu. Izi siziri mwa zifukwa zoyenera kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Simungangoyamba chibwenzi chifukwa choti anzanu onse anachita. Bwanji ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima lathetsa chibwenzi? Kodi inu mutsatira mapazi ake ndi kuchita zomwezo? Ayi, sichoncho? Chikhumbo chokhala ndi chibwenzi chiyenera kuchokera mkati ndipo muyenera kukhala okonzeka.

2. Kodi mwangotopa?

Kodi mukuyang'ana kukhala ndi chibwenzi chifukwa moyo wanu watopa? Chabwino, ndiye zomwe mukusowa si chibwenzi koma chizolowezi. Simukusowa bwenzi chifukwa simudziwa choti muchite mu nthawi yanu yaulere. Chibwenzi sichiyenera kukupangitsani kukhala pachibwenzi. Ngati mulowa pachibwenzi chifukwa chotopa, posakhalitsa mudzayamba kumupeza wotopetsa ndiyeno mungafune kumuchotsa.

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3. Kodi muli ndi nthawi yocheza naye?

Ngati simungathe kuchita bwino pantchito yanu, simunakonzekere kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Ubale udzafuna nthawi ndi khama lanu. Ngati mulibe nthawi yopangira ndalama izi, muyenera kudumpha lingaliro lokhala ndi mtsikana m'moyo wanu. Ngati mulowa pachibwenzi koma mulibe nthawi yocheza ndi bwenzi lanu, zidzakuvutitsani nonse.

4. Kodi mukudziwa momwe mungachitire naye bwino?

Ngati simukudziwa momwe mungachitire bwino mkazi, sufuna chibwenzi. Muyenera kuwaona ngati anthu ngati inu, ngati sichoncho. Apatseni chisamaliro chokwanira, chisamaliro, chikondi, ndipo koposa zonse, ulemu. Choncho musanauze mnzanu kuti, “Ndithandizeni kupeza chibwenzi,” dzifunseni kuti: “Kodi ndili ndi chibwenzi?”

5. Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti sichosowa chakuthupi chabe?

Chikhumbo chofuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chodziwikiratu komanso chachilendo muubwenzi. Komabe, siziyenera kukhala zonse zomwe mukuyang'ana. Kukhala ndi mkazi wodabwitsa m'moyo wanu kumatha kusintha moyo wanu kukhala nthano. Ubale umafunika khama kwambiri kuposa kumusangalatsa m'chipinda chogona. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna bwenzi kuti mungosangalala ndi chipinda chogona, ndiye kuti simukusowa.

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6. Kwathunthu pa wakale wanu?

Kodi mukupeza kuti ndizovuta kuchiza mukatha kutha? Kodi mumakonda kunena kuti, “Ndasowa pokhala ndi chibwenzi”? Kapena mumadabwa kuti: "Kodi ndikufuna chibwenzi kuti ndikhale wosangalala?" Ndiye, zoona zake n'zakuti simukusowa chibwenzi. Kukhala ndi chibwenzi chongofuna kuthana ndi wakale wanu sikubala zipatso pakapita nthawi. Ngati simusiya kuganiza za mkazi wanu wakale, kodi mungaganizire bwanji za chibwenzi chanu chatsopanocho? Zidzangoyambitsa mikangano pakati pa inu ndi bwenzi lanu.

7. Kodi mwakonzeka kukhala ndi bwenzi lokhazikika?

Kodi ndinu wokonzeka kulola mtsikana mmodziyo kukhala mbali ya mbali zonse za moyo wanu? Ngati mukufuna kukumana, kumbukirani, idzakhala yokhazikika. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kugawana moyo wanu ndi mkazi wokongola ameneyo. Musamaganizire chisamaliro chake ndi upangiri wake ngati wosautsa. Ngati simunakhalepo ndi chibwenzi ndipo mukuyang'ana, muyenera kukhala okonzeka m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo kuti mukhale pamodzi mozama.

8. Ndibwino kumudziwitsa abwenzi ndi abale ake?

Kukhala ndi chibwenzi si nkhani chabe kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino pamodzi. Ndi kudzipereka komwe mukufuna kusintha kukhala mayanjano amoyo wonse. Ngati mwakumana ndi mtsikana woyenera, musalephere kumudziwitsa achibale anu. Muyeneranso kukhala omasuka kumutulutsa ndi anzanu. Ayenera kumverera kuti ndi wofunika komanso wovomerezeka pakati pa anzanu ndi achibale anu. Kumbukirani, ndi mbendera yofiyira muubwenzi ngati simukufuna kudziwitsa anzanu ndi abale anu.

9. Kodi mwakonzeka kukambirana momasuka?

Kukambitsirana mochokera pansi pa mtima ndiko maziko a unansi wabwino. Muyenera kukambirana naye zisangalalo zanu zonse ndi zowawa zanu ndikumubwereketsa khutu lachifundo akafuna inu. Kukambirana momasuka kumatanthauzanso kuti mumalankhula momasuka za zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe simukonda za wina ndi mnzake. Muyenera kuvomereza zolakwa zanu, kutsutsa, ndi malangizo abwino, ndi mosemphanitsa. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuchita mwano. M'malo mwake sankhani kukhala patsogolo.

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Momwe Mungapezere Bwenzi Lachibwenzi - Malangizo 11

Ngati mwatopa kudzifunsa kuti, "Ndingapeze kuti chibwenzi?" kapena "Mungapeze bwanji chibwenzi pa intaneti?" osadandaula. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni ndi malangizo 11 amomwe mungapezere chibwenzi. Chaka chatha, mnzanga Daniel anati, "Ndikufuna chibwenzi." Anali wofunitsitsa kukhala pachibwenzi moti ndinkada nkhawa chifukwa cha iyeyo komanso amene akanatha kukhala naye pa chibwenzi. Pambuyo pa masiku angapo, palibe chomwe chinamuthandiza. Anakhumudwa kwambiri moti ndinamupeza akufunsa kuti, “Bwanji ndilibe chibwenzi?” komanso “Ndingapeze kuti chibwenzi?” kawirikawiri.

Ndinkafuna kumuthandiza. Chifukwa chake ndidapereka malingaliro abwino kwambiri oti ndipeze chibwenzi ndikugawananso malangizo opezera chibwenzi. Ndinapereka malingaliro monga malo ochitirako masewera olimbitsa thupi omwe ndimawakonda kwambiri, tchalitchi, malo odyera abwino kwambiri, mabawa, masewera amasewera, ndi mwayi wodzipereka. Ndinamuuzanso zina mapulogalamu ochezera pa intaneti zomwe zinawayendera bwino anzanga ena. Daniel anapeza chikondi cha moyo wake ndi malangizo awa, ndipo ine ndikuyembekeza iwo ntchito inunso.

1. Kuyendera malo opezeka anthu ambiri komanso kupezeka pamisonkhano

Malo opezeka anthu onse monga malo ogulitsira khofi, ndi malo odyera amapereka malo oti mukumane ndikupanga mabwenzi atsopano. Tsiku lililonse, akazi okongola zikwizikwi amabwera kumalo amenewa kudzatenga khofi kapena chakudya.

Komabe, sizophweka monga momwe mukuganizira. Muyenera kutenga sitepe yanu yoyamba mosamala. Muyenera kukhala odzidalira ndikutha kuyambitsa zokambirana popanda kuwoneka ngati mukukakamira. Mungayambe ndi kufunsa mafunso monga akuti, “Kodi bukulo ndi labwino?” kapena “Kodi munalamula chiyani?” Komabe, ngati simulandira ma vibes omvera, zikutanthauza kuti ali yekhayekha.

Ngati mukufuna chibwenzi chomwe chidzapezeka pazochitika zamasewera ndi ziwonetsero za chikhalidwe ndi inu, ndiye yambani kuyang'ana mtsikanayo kumeneko. Zochitika izi zimakupatsani mwayi yambani kucheza ndi mtsikanayo mumakonda popanda kusokoneza nthawi yake. Komabe, musawonetse zomwe mukudziwa zokhudza chochitikacho, wojambula, kapena wosewera. M’malo mochita zinthu ngati katswiri wofuna kumukopa mtima, sankhani kukhala woona mtima ndiponso wanzeru.

2. Chitani zinthu zomwe mumakonda

Ngati mukufuna kupewa mapulogalamu a zibwenzi, ganizirani kwambiri zinthu zomwe mumakonda. Pangani zomwe mumakonda, lowani nawo gulu, kapena sankhani mwayi wodzipereka. Makalabu ambiri amakhala ndi zochitika zomwe anthu ammudzi amachita momasuka. Simudzangokumana ndi azimayi kumeneko komanso mudzakhala ndi ulemu komanso ulemu sinthani luso lanu lolankhulana. Simudziwa, mutha kukhala ndi mwayi ndikuwona yomwe ili ku kalabu komweko.

Mwayi wodzipereka ndiwonso njira yabwino yolumikizirana ndi anthu amalingaliro ofanana. Ndi chiyani chabwino kuposa kupeza chibwenzi chomwe chimafanana ndi chanu? Kudzipereka kumakupatsani mwayi wolankhulana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana mukamapereka chifukwa. Ngati mupitiriza kunena kuti, “Sindingapeze chibwenzi” koma osachitapo kanthu, sudzakhalanso ndi mtsikana m’moyo wanu. Choncho, kokani masokosi anu ndikukonzekera kuchitapo kanthu.

3. Muzipezeka ndi anzanu ndi achibale

Anzanga ambiri amakonda kunena kuti, “Ndithandizeni kupeza chibwenzi.” Koma samabwera ndikakonzekera kusonkhana kuti ndiwadziwitse tsiku lomwe ndingathe. Choncho, musanafunse anzanu kuti akupezereni mtsikana, dzifunseni kuti, “Kodi ndikufuna chibwenzi?” Ngati inde, musasiye mwayi wocheza ndi anzanu. Tengani nthawi kuchokera pazochitika zanu zotanganidwa. Sizidzakuthandizani kokha pezani anthu atsopano komanso kutha kukupangitsani kukhala ndi chidwi ndi bwenzi lomwe lilipo.

Ngati mukufuna chibwenzi, yambani kutenga maphwandowa mozama. Ziribe kanthu kuti mwasankha nthawi yayitali bwanji kunyalanyaza ntchito zapamtima izi, zimakupatsani mwayi wokwanira kuti mupeze msungwana woyenera. Komanso, chifukwa cha kugwirizana kwapafupi, sizingakhale zovuta kapena zochititsa manyazi kuti mufikire mwaulemu kwa mtsikana amene mumakonda.

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4. Konzani umunthu wanu ndi kalankhulidwe kanu

Mnzanga William anapitiriza kuuza aliyense mu ofesi yathu kuti, “Ndikanakonda ndikanakhala ndi chibwenzi.” Koma tonsefe tinkadziwa kuti sizikanatheka mpaka atasintha umunthu wake. Iye ndi munthu wabwino koma nthawi zambiri amabwera ngati wamwano komanso wokhumudwitsa chifukwa cha mawu ake aukali.

Umunthu wanu ndi matupi anu amawonekera musanayambe mawu anu. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kukumbukira zomwe mumapereka kudzera mwa iwo. Ngati simunachite bwino mu kukopa mtsikana, ndiye nthawi yakwana yoti muyambe kugwira ntchito zonse ziwirizi.

Ngati mukusokoneza umunthu ndi kumanga minofu ndi abs, sitikunena za mawonekedwe a umunthu wanu. Si mtsikana aliyense amene amayamikira amuna amuna. Ena amakonda kukhudzidwa ndi kukoma mtima. Choncho, ngakhale mutapita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi, musamangogwira mbali yanu yamphongo. Muuzeni kuti ndinu ochulukirapo kuposa minofu yomangidwa bwino. Nazi zomwe mungachite:

Lankhulani molimba mtima mukuyang'ana maso
Gwiritsirani ntchito mawu olimbikitsa a thupi ndi manja, monga kamvekedwe kaubwenzi, nkhope yomwetulira, kugwirana chanza kolimba
Osasakaniza kudzidalira ndi kudzikuza. Matupi anu akuyenera kukhala opanda ulemu kwa ena

5. Gwiritsani ntchito njira zanu zoyankhulirana

Zitha kukhala zotheka kuti kulephera kwanu kupeza chibwenzi kungakhale chifukwa cha njira zanu zofikira. Choncho, yesetsani kupanga njira zoyenera zoyankhulirana:

Muziganizira nthawi ndi malo pamene mukuyandikira mkazi
Lankhulani naye pamene akuwoneka womasuka komanso mumkhalidwe wosangalatsa
Aliyense amayamikira nthabwala zabwino. Ngati ndinu wanzeru mokwanira, musazengereze kuwonetsa mbali yapaderayi
Pangani nthabwala yopepuka kwa musekese kapena kupereka chiyamikiro chenicheni

Osasunga njira zoyenera izi poyesa kuyambitsa zokambirana pazama TV. Ngakhale malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amakulolani kuti mufikire aliyense mosavutikira, kungolowa mu ma DM ake sikoyenera. M'malo mwake, perekani bwenzi limodzi ndi uthenga wokoma. Komabe, musakhale okakamira, ndipo musawonetse zizindikiro kuti mukufuna chibwenzi. Ngati mulandira yankho labwino, yesani kupanga zokambirana, funsani kuti mukhale ndi deti, ndipo yesani kupita patsogolo m'njira zina zosangalatsa.

6. Sinthani maganizo anu

Msuweni wanga Richard analibe chibwenzi, ndipo tinadziŵa chifukwa chake. Anali ndi malingaliro a chauvinist, ndipo sanaganizirepo kuti ndi maganizo oipa. Sizinali zodabwitsa kwa ife pamene iye anamaliza kukhala ndi mkangano kwambiri pa tsiku lake lakhungu. Choncho, m'malo modabwa, "Momwe mungayang'ane bwenzi?" zindikirani malingaliro oyipa omwe muli nawo ndikuchita khama kuti muwagonjetse. Nawa maupangiri:

Chotsani kusefa kwamalingaliro kumeneko kapena mkhalidwe woweruza ndi waukali
Musaganize mopambanitsa, koma khala wachifundo ndi othokoza m’malo mwake
Limbani mtima kuti muime pa chilichonse chimene mumakhulupirira kuti ncholakwika

Atsikana amayamikira kwambiri makhalidwe amenewa mwa amuna. Tsopano, siyani kulira ndi kunena kuti, “Sindikupeza chibwenzi.” Sinthani malingaliro anu ndikuwona zamatsenga.

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7. Osanama

Zoyambira komanso zenizeni ndi mikhalidwe yomwe simuyenera kuinyalanyaza. Ngati mukufuna kupeza machesi oyenera nokha, khalani zomwe muli. Osayesa kukhala ngati munthu wina. Komanso musadzitamandire kapena kukokomeza zinthu zimene mwakwanitsa. Kusintha umunthu wanu kuti mungofuna kumusangalatsa sikungakuthandizeni m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.

Kupanda kukhulupirika mu umunthu wanu kudzafika pozindikira. Atsikana amakopeka ndi amuna omwe amadzidalira pakhungu lawo. Choncho, khulupirirani nokha, mfundo zanu, ndi makhalidwe anu. Makhalidwe amphamvuwa ndi ofunikira kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino.

8. Phunzirani ku kukanidwa

Musatembenuke choipa kapena chowawa pambuyo pake mtsikana amakukanani. Osaganiza mopambanitsa kapena kuganiza kuti akukuukirani ngati sakufuna kukhala bwenzi lanu. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti asalole kulowa muubwenzi. Zitha kukhalanso zotheka kuti samakuonani kuti ndinu woyenerana naye, chifukwa nonse muli ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro omwe ali osiyana kwambiri.

Tengani kukanidwa moyenera ndipo phunzirani kwa izo. Yesetsani kusinthika ngati munthu mutakanidwa. Yesetsani kulingalira zinthu zomwe zinagwira ntchito ndi zomwe sizinagwire ntchito. Zidzakuthandizani kukonzekera bwino ubale wotsatira.

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9. Perekani chiyamikiro chenicheni

Musayamikire mtsikana chifukwa aliyense wakuuzani kuti kutero. Ngakhale kuti munthu amasangalala ena akamaona zinthu zinazake zapadera mwa iye, musamamuyamikire chifukwa chongofuna kumusangalatsa. Mayamiko ayenera kukhala okongola, zenizeni ndi zolunjika kuchokera mu mtima. Sikoyenera kuyamikira atsikana chifukwa cha maonekedwe awo. Pamene mumayamikira kukongola kwake, shawa imayamikanso pa umunthu wake. Muuzeni za makhalidwe amene mumawakonda kwambiri monga kulimba mtima, kukoma mtima, kapena kudzidalira.

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10. Musakhale aulesi

Ngati ndinu mnyamata waulesi yemwe akufuna chibwenzi, ndiye pepani kunena kuti, simungapambane mpaka mutasiya kukhala choncho. Ulesi ndi khalidwe losafunika kwenikweni mwa amuna. Ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi mnzako, muyenera kuyesetsa. Muwonetseni chidwi chanu, mphamvu yanu, ndi changu chanu chofuna kumufuna.

Yesetsani nokha ndikutsimikizira kuti malonjezo anu si mawu opanda pake. Musonyezeni kuti iye ndi wofunikadi ndipo ndinu wokonzeka kuchita chilichonse kuti mukhale mbali ya moyo wake. Komanso, pewani kukhala wosasamala panthawiyi kuyesera kumusangalatsa iye. Zikhoza kungomulepheretsa.

11. Khalani otseguka

Mwina muli ndi chithunzi cha mtsikana amene mukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi kapena amene akukopeka naye. Koma kukhala wodekha sikungakuthandizeni kwambiri. Dziko lapansi ladzaza ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya anthu. Pitani mukafufuze. Simudziwa, munthu yemwe mumamuganizira kuti ndi wotopetsa akhoza kukhala ndi mwayi kukhala okondedwa wabwino.

Ngati mumamatira ku chithunzi chomwe mwapanga m'mutu mwanu, mudzakumana ndi zovuta m'dziko lenileni. M'malo moyang'ana mtundu wina wa thupi, mtundu, kapena mtundu wa khungu, pitani mukapeze yemwe mukumva kuti ndi wogwirizana naye komanso womasuka.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Kwa amene amadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndimafuna chibwenzi kuti ndikhale wosangalala?” Yankho ndi lakuti “Ayi.” Mwamuna ndiye yekha amene ali ndi udindo pa chimwemwe ndi chisoni chake
Si zachilendo kunena kuti, “Ndikufuna bwenzi,” chifukwa aliyense amafunikira bwenzi kwa moyo wake wonse, amene amawathandiza pakulimbana kwawo ndi kukondwerera nthawi zawo zabwino.
Ngati mukuona kuti simungapeze chibwenzi, yesetsani kudzidalira, sinthani thupi lanu komanso kulankhulana bwino, ndiyeno yesani kupita kwa munthu amene mumamukonda.

Dziko limene tikukhalali lasintha kwambiri posachedwapa. Kapena mwinamwake, takula kukhala akuluakulu, omwe makamaka kudzimva ndekha ngakhale atazunguliridwa ndi gulu la anthu. Izi zili choncho chifukwa cha kusowa wocheza naye m’moyo.

Ngati nthaŵi zambiri mumanena kuti, “Ndikusowa bwenzi” kapena “Ndikufuna chibwenzi,” pendani zifukwa zimene mukufunira. Amuna ena amasankha kwambiri. Iwo sazengereza kunena kuti: “Ndikufuna mtsikana amene angandichitire izi ndi izo.” Sazindikira kuti iye ndi munthu ngati iwo ndipo sakuyenera kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi kusankha kwa wina aliyense.

Chifukwa chake, yesetsani nokha, konzani umunthu wanu, ndikudzipangira nokha mwayi wabwino kwambiri. Yesetsani kukumana ndi anthu atsopano, pitani ku misonkhano ya anthu, muzikambirana molimba mtima, ndipo mwaulemu lankhulani ndi mtsikana pagulu, kusunga malire oikidwa. Izi zidzachita zodabwitsa ku moyo wanu wachikondi!

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.