Malangizo 17 Osavuta Odabwitsa Omwe Mungamupangitse Kuti Adzipereke Kwa Inu

Kaya mwakhala pachibwenzi mwachisawawa ndipo mukufuna kutenga chibwenzi pamlingo wina kapena mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo mwatopa ndikudikirira kuti afunse funso, kulimbana ndi vuto la momwe mungamupangire kuti adzipereke kwa inu sikosangalatsa. Makamaka chifukwa vuto limeneli nthawi zonse limatsagana ndi kuzindikira kuti mumamufuna kuposa momwe iye amafunira, zomwe zingakulepheretseni kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika. 

Izi zitha kukupangitsani kuti muzichita zinthu zosemphana ndi cholinga chanu chofuna kumvetsetsa zomwe zimapangitsa mwamuna kudzipereka ndikugwa m'chikondi. Izi ndi zomwe mnzanga, Lindsey, wakhala akulimbana nazo posachedwa. Wakhala akumuwona munthu akungoyendayenda. Akakumana, amakangana bwino koma Kurt samawonetsa kuti akufuna kuti chibwenzicho chikhale chokhazikika ndikudzipereka kwa iye. Amayankha mameseji ake koma samayambitsa zokambirana. Amapita naye kunja koma samawonetsa ndalama zilizonse. Lindsey wakhala akumva kukhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa chakusowa kwa Kurt kubwezera zomwe akumvera. 

Pa imodzi mwama foni athu a mlungu ndi mlungu a Skype, adandiuza zakukhosi kwake, ndikundifunsa, "Ndingamupangitse bwanji kuti andifune kuti ndikwaniritse zinthu zina?" Kukambirana kwathu kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti ili ndi vuto lomwe amayi ambiri amagawana. Chifukwa chake, ndidaganiza zofufuza momwe ndingapangire mwamuna kuti akufuneni ndikudzipereka kwa inu. Ndikufotokozereni mwachidule mfundo 17 zosavuta koma zothandiza.

Njira 17 Zomupangitsa Kukusowani Ndi Kudzipereka Kwa Inu Kwamuyaya

Aliyense amene wakhala akuyesera kukakamiza mnyamata kuti apite patsogolo amadziwa momwe zimakhalira zokhumudwitsa kuti adziwe momwe angamupangire kuti achite. Ndi chifukwa nthawi zonse amatsatiridwa ndi mafunso odzikayikira ngati, "Kodi ndikusowa chiyani?" "Kodi ndikuchita cholakwika?" "Bwanji sakufuna kuti ndidzipereke kwa ine?" 

Mwachitsanzo, funsani funso ili pa Reddit sub pa upangiri wa chibwenzi, "Ndasowa chochita. Ndakhala wosakwatiwa kwa zaka zambiri, ndili ndi zaka zoposa 6 tsopano. Ndine wokongola, wowoneka bwino, sindine wonenepa kwambiri, ndili ndi ntchito yabwino, ndaphunzira. Ndili ndi zinthu zambiri zosangalatsa ndipo ndili bwino pazinthu zambiri, monga zaluso mwachitsanzo. Ndili ndi moyo wabwino wocheza ndi anthu komanso zinthu zambiri zomwe zimandiyendera. Ndimapita kukacheza ndi anyamata ambiri kudzera pa mapulogalamu ndi mawebusayiti a chibwenzi, komanso anyamata omwe ndimakumana nawo maso ndi maso monga mumsewu, mu lesitilanti, kapena m'malo ena ... Onse amanditenga kukacheza, kulipira, ndipo amati akufuna chibwenzi. Pambuyo pa mwezi umodzi kapena itatu, ndimatchula za kudzipatula ndipo amandiuza kuti, "Pepani sindikufuna kudzipereka" kapena "Ndikungofuna chinthu chosavuta". Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika ndipo ndingapewe bwanji?"

Kodi mungamvetse zambiri? Kodi inunso, monga mnzanga Lindsey ndi wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit, mwakhala mukudabwa kuti n’chiyani chimapangitsa mwamuna kudzipereka ndi kugwa m’chikondi? Kodi yankho lake lili popangitsa mwamuna kukusowani kuti azindikire kufunika kwanu? Kodi mungamupangitse kudzipereka mwa kusiya? Kodi muyenera kusewera masewera amisala kuti mwamuna adzipereke? Chabwino, sichoncho nthawi zonse. Koma kukakamiza mwamuna kuti adzipereke kumafuna kumupangitsa kuona kufunika kwanu. Ndi malangizo 17 osavuta awa, mungathe kuchita zimenezo popanda kugwiritsa ntchito njira iliyonse yolakwika kapena psyops:

1. Osataya mtima kwambiri

Pamene mukuthera nthawi yochuluka kuganiza, "Ndingamupangitse bwanji kuti andifune zokwanira kuti andipereke kwa ine?", ndi zachibadwa kuti maganizo osimidwa alowe mkati. Komabe, ngati mukufuna kupita patsogolo pakuchita izi, ndikofunika kuti musalole kuti kusimidwa uku kukupangitseni momwe mumachitira ndi mwamuna m'moyo wanu. Choncho, 

• Musakhale okakamira kwambiri kapena osowa 
• Osamutumizira mameseji kuti amuphulitse 
• Chokani pa kutumizirana mameseji kawiri komanso 
• Osayimba nthawi iliyonse akadzuka 
• Osadzidalira kapena kuchita nsanje ngati ali wotanganidwa kwina

2. Osalankhula za kudzipereka nthawi zonse

Ngati mukufuna zinthu zomwe mungachite ndi zomwe simuyenera kuchita pa momwe mungamupangitsire kudzipereka, nayi chizolowezi chimodzi chomwe muyenera kupewa: kulankhula za kudzipereka nthawi zonse. Kumutumizira mafunso akuti “ Kodi ndili wokonzeka kudzipereka ?” si yankho la momwe mungamupangitsire kufunsira chibwenzi. Mofananamo, kutsogolera zokambirana zina zonse kuti, “Ndiye, izi zikupita kuti?”, sizidzamupangitsa kufuna kudzipereka kwa inu posachedwa. Mungaganize kuti mukuchita zinthu mochenjera koma pamene zokambirana zonse zikupita ku kudzipereka ndi sitepe yotsatira muubwenzi, kukhumudwa kwanu kumakhala koonekeratu. Ngati pali chilichonse, zidzangokankhira mwamuna wanu kutali kwambiri.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mantha 8 Omwe Amafala Mu Ubwenzi - Malangizo a Akatswiri Oti Mugonjetse

3. Sungani zinsinsi ndi zinyengo zamoyo

Kaya mukudabwa momwe mungapangire mwamuna kuti akufunireni mokwanira kuti adzipereke kwa inu kapena momwe mungamupangitsire kuti akupempheni chibwenzi , tili ndi upangiri umodzi kwa inu: khalani achinsinsi. Ngati mwamuna akumva ngati akudziwa zonse zokhudza inu, chidwi chake ndi chidwi chake zidzayamba kuchepa pang'onopang'ono. Ndicho chifukwa chake m'malo moyika makadi anu onse patebulo nthawi imodzi, muloleni pang'onopang'ono avumbulutse umunthu wanu pang'onopang'ono ndikukondwera nthawi iliyonse akaphunzira china chatsopano. Kuti mupitirize kubweranso kudzafuna zambiri, muyenera kusunga chidwicho chilipo.

Monga momwe Lindsey anatulukira, kusoweka kwachinsinsi kumeneku ndi chiwembu kunali kumulepheretsa Kurt kuti asamachite chilichonse. Chimodzi mwa zolakwika zake za pachibwenzi chinali chakuti ankathera nthawi yambiri akudzifotokozera yekha. Kuyambira nkhani za kusewera mpira kusukulu mpaka ndewu ndi anzake omwe amakhala nawo, Kurt ankadziwa zonse. Ngakhale kuti ankakonda kumvetsera zimene Kurt ankalankhula, zinali zosavuta kuti adzifunse kuti n’chiyani chinamuthandiza.

4. Khalani ndi moyo wathunthu

Amuna nthawi zambiri amakhumudwa ndi akazi omwe amafuna kukhala nawo nthawi yonse. Kumbali ina, kutenga nthawi kuti akhale ndi moyo wokhutira kumapangitsa kuti pakhale kukopeka komanso kupsinjika. Ngati mukufuna kumvetsetsa momwe mungapangire chibwenzi chanu kukufunirani ndikudzipereka kwa inu, choyamba ndikuwonetsetsa kuti simukuwoneka ngati chibwenzi chongokhalira kukukakamizani . Njira yabwino yochitira izi ndikulinganiza moyo wanu mwanjira yoti moyo wanu wonse usazungulira mwamuna m'moyo wanu. Pachifukwa ichi, muyenera

• Muziganizira kwambiri ntchito yanu 
• Pezani nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso okondedwa anu 
• Osalola zokonda ndi zokonda kugwera pambali chifukwa chakuti muli ndi mwamuna m'moyo wanu 
• Mutengereko nthawi kuti mukhale nokha 

5. Khalani wokonzeka kukhudzidwa

Chinsinsi chodziwira momwe mungamupangitsire chibwenzi chili pakukhala ndi mgwirizano wabwino pakati pa kutenga malo anu nokha ndi kukhalapo kwa mwamuna wanu . Ngakhale kukhala wokakamira kwambiri kudzamupangitsa kuti asakusangalatseni, kusiya kumukonda kwathunthu kungamupangitsenso kukhala kutali. Angaganize kuti simukumufunanso. Ndikofunikira kukhala naye pafupi. Chifukwa chake,

• Pitani pamasiku
• Gwira dzanja lake 
• Muzikondana naye 
• M’kumbateni akamachedwa 
• Mvetserani ngati akufuna kutulutsa mawu 

Amati mukhoza kumupangitsa kuti azichita pochokapo. Koma zimenezi zimagwira ntchito ngati akudziwa zimene akuphonya.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malo Ochezera a Pa Intaneti Ndi Maubwenzi: Kodi Tadzipatula Kuti Tipeze Kampani?

6. Koma musamukakamize;

Kumuletsa mwamuna wanu ndi chikondi chochuluka kumangomupangitsa kuti athawire kutali ndi inu. Kuyesa kumukakamiza kuti azikhala nanu nthawi yake yonse si yankho la momwe mungapangire mwamuna kuti akufuneni. Zimangopangitsani kuoneka ngati mkazi wosadzidalira , ndipo palibe amene akufuna kuyenda mumsewu wodzipereka muubwenzi wodzaza ndi kusadzidalira.

Kumbali ina, pamene akudziwa kuti mumamukonda koma mwakhwima mokwanira kuti mumupatse malo ndi ufulu wodzilamulira womwe akufunikira kuti akhale munthu wake, adzafuna kudzipereka kwa inu chifukwa amawona kuthekera komanga ubale wabwino ndi inu. Mwachitsanzo, Kurt si wosewera mpira kapena wodzipereka. Ndipo amakondadi Lindsey. Komabe, nthawi zambiri amakhumudwa chifukwa amakana kumupatsa mpata uliwonse. Nthawi zonse amafuna kudziwa komwe ali, ndi omwe amakumana naye, ndipo amakhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana pazinthu zomwe amachita.

7. Osamubereka

Mukufuna kudziwa kuti, “Ndingamupangitse bwanji kuti andifune mokwanira kuti andipereke kwa ine?”, musalole kuti moyo wanu ukhale womvera kwa iye. Pali kusiyana pakati pa kuthandiza mwamuna amene mumamukonda ndi kutenga ulamuliro wa moyo wake, kumuchitira chilichonse. Kumbukirani, simuli mayi ake, ndipo ndi munthu wamkulu amene amatha kuyenda moyo wake. Mwanzeru, ikani ndikusunga malire abwino ngati mukufuna kumanga ubale wokhalitsa.

8. Khalani ndi zolinga za ubale

Chinsinsi cha momwe mungamupangire kuti adzipereke kwa inu chagona pakuchita mayendedwe ang'onoang'ono kuti akwaniritse cholingacho m'malo modumphadumpha. Zokambirana zokhuza kudzipereka komanso tsogolo logawana nawo zimakhala zovuta ndipo nthawi zonse zimabwera ndi kusakanikirana kwa mantha komanso chisangalalo. Zikangochitika mwadzidzidzi, chiyembekezocho chimatha kuwoneka ngati chovuta kwambiri ndikupangitsa winayo kudandaula. 

Ndicho chifukwa chake, ngati mwakhala mukudabwa momwe mungamupangire kuti akupempheni kapena momwe mungamupangire mwamuna kuti akufunireni mokwanira kuti mukhale pachibwenzi chodzipereka nanu, yambani mwa kukhazikitsa zolinga zazing'ono paubwenzi . Mwachitsanzo,

• Ngati mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali, mwina mukambirane za kukhala limodzi musanakambirane za ukwati 
• Ngati mwangoyamba kumene chibwenzi, yambani ndikutumizirana wina ndi mnzake pazama media m'malo mongopita kukacheza ku DTR. 
• Ngati mwakhala pachibwenzi kwakanthawi koma simunalankhulepo zakukhala pachibwenzi, yesani madzi pofunsa kuti mukumane ndi abwenzi ndi abale anu.  

Zolinga zazing'onozi zitha kukhala ngati kupitilira kwachilengedwe ku cholinga chanu chomupangitsa kuti achite.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Amuna Amagwera M'chikondi: Zinthu 10 Zofunika Kwambiri Zolamulira Psychology Ya Amuna

9. Mpangitseni kuona kufunika kwanu

Kuti mum'zindikire kuti ndinu mkazi wa maloto ake, muyenera kuchita chilichonse kuti mukhale iye! Ndiye taganizirani mkazi amene mukufuna kukhala kenako nkukhala iye. Tsopano, izi zitha kutanthauza zinthu zosiyanasiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Koma apa pali zomwe kukhala mkazi wofunika kwambiri nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza:

• Khalani otsimikiza 
• Khalani wodziimira
• Limbikitsani zochita zanu 
• Khalani wachifundo 
• Khalani wanzeru 
• Khalani wochirikiza

10. Phunzirani kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira nokha

Izi sizikutanthauza momwe mungapangire chibwenzi chanu kuti chikufunireni mokwanira kuti chidzipereke kwa inu kapena kupangitsa mwamuna kuona tsogolo lanu ndi inu, koma ndi mfundo yopatulika yoyendetsera moyo: phunzirani kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira nokha. Chimwemwe chanu sichiyenera kudalira munthu wina. Kupatula apo, mwamuna akaona kudzidalira kotereku, adzakuyamikirani kwambiri. Palibe chokongola kuposa mkazi amene amadziwa kupanga chimwemwe chake. Ngati akukuonani ngati mkazi wodzipereka komanso wodzidalira, adzakhala wokonzeka kudzipereka.

11. Khalani phewa lake kulira 

Ngakhale m'njira zina muyenera kudzipatula, mwa zina, muyenera kukhalapo kwa iye. Kumbukirani kuti, kumapeto kwa tsiku, mukuchita izi chifukwa mumamukonda ndipo mukufuna kuti aone kuti mungakhale angwiro limodzi. Choncho, muzimuthandiza pamene akukufunani. Ndicho chimene chimapangitsa mwamuna kudzipereka ndi kugwa m’chikondi.

12. Khalani bwenzi lake

Ndimakhulupiriradi kuti ubale wakuya komanso wokhalitsa umamangidwa pa maziko a ubwenzi. Ngakhale chikondi, chikondi, ndi ubale wapamtima zonse zimathandiza pakubweretsa anthu awiri pamodzi, ndi kudalirana ndi ulemu wochokera ku ubwenzi zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti apitirire, mtsogolo. Chifukwa chake, chinsinsi cha momwe mungapangire chibwenzi chanu kukufunirani moyo wanu wonse kapena kupangitsa mwamuna kufuna kukhala chibwenzi chanu chili mukukhala bwenzi lake moona mtima. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire:

• Mvetserani kwa iye popanda chiweruzo 
• Mpangitseni kumva kukhala wosungika ponena za inu zakukhosi
• Osayesa kumukonza 
• Banter naye 
• Onani zinthu zomwe mungasangalale nazo limodzi 
• Khalani opusa, sekani, ndi kusangalala limodzi

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13. Muziganizira kwambiri za kulimbitsa ubwenzi wapamtima

Chinthu china chofunikira kwambiri pa ubale wokhalitsa ndi kukondana kwambiri . Mwachibadwa, chinsinsi cha momwe mungamupangitsire kuti achite chibwenzi chili pakukulitsa ubale wamphamvu wamaganizo ndi mwamuna wanu. Pokhapokha akamakukondani kwambiri kotero kuti sangathe kuganiza za moyo wake popanda inu, ndiye kuti adzafuna kudzipereka kwa inu kwa moyo wonse. Kuti mukwaniritse zimenezo, muyenera

• Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yabwino pamodzi 
• Tsimikizirani zomwe amakonda komanso zikhulupiriro zake 
• Gawani nkhani za moyo wa wina ndi mzake 
• Khalani osatetezeka 
• Mvetserani kuti mumvetse 
• Khalani wachifundo

14. Limbikitsani kugonana  

Kugonana ndi kofunika kwambiri pa ubale wautali komanso wokhutiritsa. Kutengera ndi gawo liti la ubale womwe muli, yesetsani kulimbikitsa kapena kulimbikitsa ubale wabwino ndi mnzanu. Kugonana sikutanthauza kuchitapo kanthu kokha komanso kukambirana momasuka zomwe mumakonda, zomwe simukonda, zomwe mukufuna, ndi zomwe mumakonda. Izi zimapangitsa kuti chochitikachi chikhale choposa kungomasuka thupi komanso chimapangitsa kuti chikhale chapafupi komanso chothandiza.

15. Yambitsani ngwazi yake yachibadwa

Mukufunsa kuti, kodi mungamupangitse bwanji kuti adzipereke? Mwa kumupangitsa kumva kuti ndi wofunika komanso wofunika. Izi zimadziwikanso kuti zimayambitsa chibadwa cha ngwazi ya mwamuna . Mawuwa adapangidwa ndi mphunzitsi wa maubwenzi James Bauer. M'buku lake, His Secret Obsession , Bauer akufotokoza kuti mwamuna aliyense ali ndi chikhumbo chachikulu chosamalira ndikuteteza mnzake. Kuyambitsa chibadwa cha ngwazi ichi kungakhale chinsinsi chotsegula kuthekera konse kwa ubale. Chifukwa chake, pitirizani,

• Funsani maganizo ake pa zosankha zofunika 
• M’pempheni kuti akuthandizeni ndi ntchito zina zapakhomo 
• Tembenukirani kwa iye kuti mutonthozedwe 
• Mpatseni mpata woti aganizire za mavuto anu   

Pamene adzimva kukhala wofunika kwa inu, m'pamenenso amakoka kwambiri kwa inu. 

16. Pewani kuneneratu

Kodi mukuganiza momwe mungapangire chibwenzi chanu kukufunirani ndikudzipereka kwa inu? Kumvetsetsa zomwe simuyenera kuchita n'kofunika monga kusewera makadi anu moyenera. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe muyenera kupewa ndi mawu oti musankhe. Ngakhale mungaganize kuti ngati akukulemekezani, kuopseza kuti akutayani kudzamupangitsa kuganizira zochita zina muubwenzi wanu mwachangu, mawu oti musankhe muubwenzi nthawi zambiri samakhala ndi zotsatira zomwe mukufuna. M'malo mwake, angapangitse mwamuna wanu kumva kukakamizidwa ndikumupangitsa kuthamanga mosiyana.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Masewera a Maganizo mu Ubale — Momwe Amaonekera Ndi Chifukwa Chake Anthu Amachitira Izi

17. Muyamikireni

Kuyamikira ndi khalidwe locheperapo pomanga maubwenzi abwino. Popanda ubale wamphamvu ndi wokhalitsa, kudzipereka sikumatanthauza kanthu. Chifukwa chake, kuti mukwaniritse cholinga chanu choti mwamuna wanu atengere ubale wanu pamlingo wina, muyenera kuthokoza ndikumuthokoza. 

• Muzimupatsa chiyamikiro chenicheni 
• Nenani “zikomo” pafupipafupi 
• Muuzeni chifukwa chake mumamuyamikira

Chikondi chimabwera ndi kukwera kwake koma ngati mtima uli pamalo oyenera, palibe chosatheka. Momwe mungamufikire kudzipereka makamaka zimadalira momwe mukulolera kuti muyambe kukondana ndi kukhalapo kwa iye. Mukakhala ndi chikhutiro chokwanira m’malingaliro anu, zina zonse zidzangotenga nthaŵi!

Njira 5 Zothana Ndi Mnyamata Amene Sanakonzekere Kudzipereka

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Anyamata Amachoka Asanayambe Kudzipereka?

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.