Mind Games Mu Ubale - Momwe Amawonekera Ndi Chifukwa Chake Anthu Amazichita

Kodi mwayamba kumene chibwenzi ndi munthu wina ndipo mukuwoneka wodabwitsidwa chifukwa cholephera kukufotokozerani momveka bwino? Zitha kukhala chifukwa ndizovuta kwa iwo kuzindikira momwe akumvera, choncho amafunikira kuleza mtima, chithandizo, kapena mafunso odekha kuchokera kwa inu. Kapena, iwo akupanga dala kusamvetsetsana. Masewera amalingaliro m'maubwenzi samangokhala ndi chisokonezo chochuluka, amakhalanso ndi zotsatira zoipa m'maganizo a munthu amene ali pampando wolandira khalidwe losokoneza.

Panthawi ina m'miyoyo yathu, takhala tikukumana ndi anthu omwe amasewera masewera amphamvu mu maubwenzi. Palibe cholakwika ndi kuzunzidwa m'maganizo. Mudzawona masewera amalingaliro a subconscious mu gawo lililonse la moyo. Koma zofala kwambiri nthawi zonse zimawoneka muzochitika zachikondi.

Kodi Masewera a Maganizo Amatanthauza Chiyani?

M'mawu osavuta, masewera amalingaliro mu maubwenzi amawerengedwa ndikuyesa mwachidwi kwa okondedwa m'modzi kuti awononge mnzakeyo. Izi ndi zilakolako zachikondi zobisika ngati chikondi. Chifukwa chake, kusewera masewera ndi njira yosokeretsa, kusokoneza, ndikupangitsa winayo kudzimva wopanda mphamvu.

Masewera amalingaliro awa ndi ochenjera komanso osadziwika pachiyambi. Munthu amene akusewera masewera amachita izi:

• Amayesa kupeza mphamvu ndi kulamulira pa inu
• Amasewera khadi la 'wozunzidwa'
• Amasonyeza khalidwe lachibwanabwana

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati wina akusewera nanu ndipo chifukwa chiyani anthu amatero poyamba? M'munsimu muli zifukwa ndi zizindikiro zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuzindikira nkhanza.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Amasewera Masewera a Maganizo Pamabwenzi?

Kusewera masewera kumafuna kusokoneza ubongo kwambiri. Anthu adzachita ngati amakukondani ndikukukondani, ndipo mphindi yotsatira adzakupangitsani kumva ngati mulibe kanthu. Monga ngati simuli woyenera chikondi chawo. N’chifukwa chiyani amachita zimenezi? Pezani zifukwa pansipa. 

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1. Akufuna kunena mphamvu

Pali mikangano yamphamvu mu ubale uliwonse. Pamene mphamvu ya chilengedwe mu chiyanjano ili yokhota, ikhoza kuyambitsa kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu molakwika. Pakakhala masewera a ubale, ndiye kuti m'modzi wa iwo amayesa kuwongolera zomwe akudziwa kuti ali nazo. Chifukwa chimodzi chimene amachitira zimenezi n’chakuti alibe mphamvu pa mbali zina za moyo wawo.

2. Ndi odzikuza ndipo alibe ulemu 

Mutha kuganiza kuti anthu odzikonda ali ndi ulemu wapamwamba. Koma zimenezo sizingakhale kutali ndi choonadi. Anthu ambiri omwe akulimbana ndi kudzidalira amadziwika kuti ali ndi ego yowonjezereka. Gawo limodzi lidzawapangitsa iwo kuganiza kuti sayenera kuchita chilichonse, gawo lina lidzawapangitsa kuti azikhulupirira kuti ndi anthu apamwamba: Izi ndi zina mwa njira. kudziona ngati wosafunika paubwenzi kuwonetsera.

3. Adakumana ndi zowawa zakale 

Pachiyambi cha masewera a ubale, pakhoza kukhala munthu yemwe adakhalapo ndi zowawa zakale ndipo tsopano wamanga makoma mozungulira iwo. Amafuna kudziteteza poyang'anira zochitika zaubwenzi. Mantha ndi kukaikira kumayendetsa zisankho zawo. Iwo akuyesera kukhala otsimikiza kotheratu za inu ndi kusankha ngati akukhulupirirani kapena ayi. Amaopa kuvulazidwa, choncho amakhala osamala asanakuuzeni mozama. 

4. Akufuna kuti muwathamangitse

Anthu ena amatengeka ndi chisangalalo cha kuthamangitsa bwino. Ndikudziwa izi chifukwa ndidachitapo kale. Chitsanzo ichi chimachokera ku kudzikuza kapena kusadzidalira. Ndi chimodzi mwazoipa kwambiri kukhala nazo ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazo zizindikiro kuti muli paubwenzi wolakwika. Ndinkakonda kusambitsa wokondedwa wanga mphindi imodzi ndipo mphindi ina ndimakonda kuchita kutali komanso kuzizira.

5. Iwo ndi onyoza

Narcissists nthawi zonse amatha kusewera masewera. Adzakunyengererani, adzakulamulirani, ndipo akufuna kuti mukhale thumba lawo lokhomerera. Narcissist adzapeza malo anu ofooka ndipo amawamenyabe. Adzakuyesanibe kuti awone kutali komwe mungapite. Adzachita izi momasuka kotero kuti simudzazindikira kuti akukudyerani. Adzakupangitsani kuwakhulupirira, ndipo adzakudulani inu kwa ena. 

Kodi Masewera Amalingaliro Muubwenzi Amawoneka Motani - Zizindikiro 13

Chifukwa china chomwe anthu amaseweretsa malingaliro paubwenzi ndi chifukwa akufuna kukufooketsani pokupanga kukayika nokha. Kuwongolera m'maubwenzi kumachitika kuti mufunse chilichonse chomwe chikuchitika pozungulira inu. Zitha kuwoneka ngati kungokhala chete-mwaukali khalidwe nawonso. Tsopano popeza tadziwa chifukwa chake anthu amasewerera masewera amalingaliro, tiyeni tiwone momwe masewera ochezera amawonekera. 

1. Khalidwe lawo lotentha ndi lozizira lidzakusokonezani

Kutumiza zizindikiro zosakanikirana ndi imodzi mwamasewera odziwika bwino a ubale. Mphindi imodzi, mnzanu amasewera molimbika kuti apeze. Mphindi yotsatira, akuzungulirani. Chilichonse ndichabwino mphindi imodzi ndikugwedezeka motsatira, popanda chifukwa. N’chifukwa chiyani akuchita zinthu motalikirana? Cholinga chokhacho kumbuyo kusewera molimbika kuti mupeze ndikuwongolera. Amakulepheretsani chidwi chifukwa akufuna kukhala chinthu chosowa chomwe mumalakalaka.

2. Breadcrumbing ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za masewera maganizo mu maubwenzi 

Mkate mu chibwenzi ndi mawu ena otsogolera munthu. Alibe chidwi chofuna kukhala pachibwenzi chachikulu ndi inu koma amatumiza mameseji okopana kuti akukopeni. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwamasewera amalingaliro omwe anyamata amaseweretsa akatha. Amafuna kudzaza malo amene mwamuna wawo wakale wasiya ndipo amafuna kupeŵa kukhala okha.

Chifukwa chosadziŵika bwino zochita zawo, mwatsala pang’ono kudzifunsa ngati pali vuto ndi inu. Chifukwa chachikulu chomwe amakusiyirani nthawi zonse ndi zinyenyeswazi za mkate ndikuti zimawapangitsa kuti azidzimva bwino, popeza akufunafuna kutsimikizika ndi chitsimikizo. Sakuyang'ana njira yeniyeni yolumikizira / yothandizira.

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3. Kuwombera kwachikondi ndi njira yawo yolumikizirana nanu

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa masewera ambiri ubale. Umu ndi momwe kuwombera kwachikondi kumagwirira ntchito:

• Adzakuvumbitsani ndi mawu achikondi
• Adzakutamandani ndikukugulirani mphatso zopambanitsa
• Manja awo oganiza bwino adzakugonjetsani inu
• Simudzazindikira ngakhale kuti mukugwa pansi pa matsenga awo

Mukangowagwera ndikudzipereka ku chikondi chawo, amataya chidwi. Iwo adzasiya awo chikondi bomba zamatsenga ndipo mudzakhala osokonezeka. Zonse zachuluka kwambiri posachedwa. Amasiya zonsezi mukangobwezera zomwe akumvera. Ndipamene mumazindikira kuti samakukondani, koma amakonda kuthamanga kwa adrenaline komwe amakhala nako akukuthamangitsani.

4. Amakulamulirani;

Sikuti amangokupangitsani kumva chisoni chifukwa chotsatira matumbo anu, komanso amakuuzani zisankho zanu. Ubale wanu wodzipereka sulinso gulu la anthu awiri; ndi iwo okha pampando wa dalaivala nthawizonse. Mfundo zanu zazikulu zimayamba kusintha ndipo amakhumudwa kwambiri mukapanda kutsatira malangizo awo.

Shell, yemwe ali ndi zaka 31, yemwe ali ndi luso lojambula zithunzi, anatiuza kuti: “Mnyamata wanga wakale ankandiuza kuti amalemekeza maganizo anga nthawi zonse.” Umu ndi mmene ndinayambira kucheza nawo. lingaliro lina.

5. Adzakumba maso ako

Amanena zinthu monga "Mudzawoneka bwino ndikusintha pang'ono chifukwa kumapangitsa nkhope yanu kukhala yocheperako" kapena "Mungawoneke bwino ngati mutataya kulemera pang'ono m'chiuno mwanu". Amuna, makamaka, amauzidwa kuti azichita 'zokakamira' m'dziko la chibwenzi; yomwe ndi njira yapoizoni yopangitsa munthu kudzimva kukhala wosatetezeka kudzera mu kuyamikiridwa kobweza. Izi ndi ubale wofiira mbendera mwa mwamuna kukhala maso.

6. Adzakufananiza ndi akale awo

Anthu ena amachita zimenezi chifukwa chokondana kwambiri ndi mwamuna wawo wakale. Ena amakonda kuchita izi makamaka chifukwa cha kusasamala. Kusewera masewera kumalimbikitsidwa poyerekezera. Amachita zimenezi n’cholinga choti akusungeni m’malo amene muli ndi mantha. Mudzayamba kukayikira nokha ndipo mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro awa:

• “Bwanji akandisiya?”
• "Sindili bwino kwa iwo"
• “Sindiyenera kuwayenera”

Chokani mu kufananiza msampha mwanzeru ndikungovomerezana nawo. “Inde, ndi wokongola kwambiri!” "Ndikuvomereza. Amawoneka bwino kwambiri ndi abs." Mukamachita zinthu mosasamala komanso osavutitsidwa ndi mawu awo, m'pamenenso amatopa ndikuthetsa masewerawa. 

7. Adzakumanga ndi miyala

Chikhalidwe chabwino chakale chokhala chete ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zapamwamba zamasewera. Stonewalling ndi imodzi mwa njira zowonongera, kuwongolera, ndikupeza mphamvu mu ubale. Nazi zitsanzo:

• Amakupatsani mayankho amtundu umodzi monga "chabwino," "zedi," ndi "chabwino"
• Iwo amanyalanyaza mafoni anu ndi mauthenga
• Iwo akukunenezani kuti mwapanga phiri ndi phiri

Pangani masewera amalingaliro muubwenzi pophunzira zina malangizo kuthetsa mikangano m'njira yokhwima. Pezani njira zabwino zolankhulirana ndi kuthetsa nkhani imodzi imodzi. Kukhala chete kumakhala ndi zotsatira za domino. Sizingoletsa kulankhulana komanso kumabweretsa mavuto ena monga kusowa ubwenzi, kuwonongeka kwa malingaliro abwino kwa wina ndi mzake, nkhawa, ndi kupsinjika maganizo. 

8. Adzakutumiza Maulendo olakwa 

Kudziimba mlandu ndi maganizo amphamvu kwambiri komanso ovuta ndipo akagwiritsidwa ntchito molumikizana, amatha kuwononga kwambiri. Wopalamula mlandu adzawonetsa zoyesayesa zomwe ayika muubwenzi powonetsa kusachita khama kumbali yanu. Adzakupangitsani kumva ngati simunachite kalikonse. Monga ngati adanyamula ubalewu pamsana pawo kuyambira tsiku loyamba, pomwe sizili choncho. 

Masewera amaganizo otere amawononga mgwirizano. Njira yokhayo yotulukira mu izi ndi kulimbana nawo. Auzeni kuti mumayamikira zonse zomwe amakuchitirani koma ayenera kusiya ndi maulendo onse olakwa. 

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9. Kuitana zolanda kungakhalenso chizindikiro chimodzi cha masewera amalingaliro mu ubale 

Muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu ndipo mukuwona kuti munthuyu sakhalapo nthawi zambiri. Amakutumizirani mameseji ndikukuyimbirani pokhapokha akafuna. Palibe kusamala nthawi yanu ndi bandwidth. Koma mwadzidzidzi, amakuvutitsani ndi chidwi ndi chikondi. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa amafuna kugonana. Jean, wojambula waku Illinois, akutsimikizira zomwe adakumana nazo, "Iyi ndi imodzi mwamasewera zizindikiro simukutanthauza kanthu kwa iye. Masewera onse amalingaliro omwe anyamata amaseweretsa atasiyana, ndaziwona zonse ndi wakale wanga. Amauza aliyense kuti ndine mnzake, koma osalumikizana nane kwa masiku angapo. Pokhapokha ngati akufuna kuchitapo kanthu.”

Adzakutsimikizirani kuti ali ndi malingaliro pa inu. Koma mawu awo sangafanane ndi zochita zawo. Kuziyika m'mawu omveka bwino - adzakugwiritsani ntchito pogonana. Masewera amphamvu otere mu maubwenzi amasiya wina akukayikira kufunika kwake. Izi zisanachitike, thawani kutali ndi iwo. 

10. Adzachita mosiyana pamaso pa ena

Taganizirani izi. Mnzako wakhala akuchita nanu mozizira. Koma mukakhala ndi anzanu kapena achibale anu, amaoneka ngati ali paliponse, ngati kuti sakunyalanyazani kwa maola atatu okha. Kapena adzalabadira wina aliyense kupatula inu, ndipo sadzakhalanso ndi chikondi ndi inu. Adzakuchitirani ngati bwenzi la platonic kapena, choyipa, chodziwa. Zimakhudzanso kwambiri ngati mnzanuyo sakulemekeza kapena kuchita mwano pamaso pa ena.

11. Adzakupatsirani mpweya

Iyi ndi imodzi mwanjira zowopsa komanso zowopsa pakusewera masewera. Mfundo yonse kumbuyo kwa wina yemwe akukuwunikirani ndikukusokonezani. Amafuna kuti muziganiza kuti simungagwire ntchito nokha. Adzakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka ndipo adzakupangitsani kukayikira ziweruzo zanu ndi kukumbukira kwanu. Chotsatira chomaliza ndi pamene mukukayikira zenizeni zanu komanso umunthu wanu.

Nawa zitsanzo zowunikira gasi tikukhulupirira kuti simudzamva:

• “Ndiwe wamanyazi”
• “Wapenga, ukufunika thandizo”
• "Ndiwe mwayi kuti ndapirira izi"

12. Adzachita ngati simuwayenera;

Narcissists amakonda kusewera masewerawa. Chifukwa cha zizolowezi zawo zankhanza, amayesa nthawi zonse kudyetsa ego yawo poika anthu ena pansi. Awa ndi masewera oopsa omwe amuna amaseweretsa, monga momwe amachitira akazi. Pali zambiri zifukwa zomwe narcissists sangathe kusunga maubwenzi. Umunthu wawo komanso ukulu wawo nthawi zambiri zimawathamangitsa kwa anthu.

Ndiye mungadziwe bwanji ngati wina akusewera masewera amalingaliro ndi inu? Adzakupangitsani kuti musamadzimvere chisoni ndikukuuzani kuti akuyenera kukhala munthu wabwinoko. Kapena angakupangitseni kumverera kuti izi ndi zomwe muyenera - kuzizira, kusalankhulana, ndi maulendo olakwa. Zitha kupita njira iliyonse ndipo muyenera kuyambiranso ndikutuluka mumkhalidwewu. 

13. Adzakuikirani malire;

Anthu opatsa zomaliza mu maubwenzi sangasamale za inu kapena malingaliro anu chifukwa akadatero, sakadakupatsani chiganizo choyambirira. Izo zikhoza kukhala za chirichonse. Nazi zitsanzo:

• "Ndikwatire kapena tamaliza"
• “Ngati susiya kulankhula ndi munthuyo, sindilankhula nawe kwa mlungu umodzi”
• “Ngati suwauza makolo ako za ife, zatha kwa ine”

Kodi mungamuchenjeze bwanji kapena kumuwuza mnzanu kuti achite zinazake pakapita nthawi? Chimenecho ndi chikondi chokhazikika. Simungathe kuopseza wokondedwa wanu chonchi, ndikuchitcha kuti 'chosowa' chanu. Ngati amene mumamukonda amadzilowetsa m'masewera oterowo ndikuwopseza kuti akusiyani, mulole apite. Mukuyenera kuchita bwino kwambiri. 

Kuchita ndi Mnzanu Amene Amasewera Masewera a Maganizo

Kukhala ndi mnzanu amene savomereza udindo kungakhale kotopetsa. Mutha kumaliza kudzitaya pa ubwenzi monga choncho. Mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungachitire ndi munthu yemwe amasewera masewera a ubale? Umu ndi momwe mungapangire ubale wanu wovuta kugwira ntchito:

• Osayesa kusewera nokha masewerawo ndipo musataye mphamvu zanu kuti atenge chidwi chawo
• Ingowafunsani chomwe chikuwasowetsa mtendere komanso chifukwa chomwe akukuvutitsani ndi mawu achipongwe
• Afunseni ngati pali chilichonse chimene mungachite kuti muthandize
• Ngati sakufuna kuchitapo kanthu, chotsani nokha pazochitikazo
• Auzeni kuti abwere kwa inu pamene ali okonzekera kukambitsirana okhwima

Kodi vutoli limakhala lozama? Kodi zachokera paubwenzi wawo wakale? Kapena akupanga zowawa zaubwana? Mphamvu ya subconscious mind kuti zinthu zichitike ndi yamphamvu kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Mwinamwake mnzanuyo anali ndi makolo omwe amangosewera masewera ndipo tsopano akungobwereza zomwezo.

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Koma inu sindinu mthandizi wawo ndipo ntchito yanu si 'kuwakonza'. Pewani masewera amalingaliro muubwenzi podziyika nokha patsogolo. Ngati zikuwononga thanzi lanu lamalingaliro, tulukani muzochitikazi ndikupeza wina yemwe sangakupusitseni komanso osadzidalira. Kapena ingopatulani nthawi yodzichiritsa nokha kwakanthawi.

Pomaliza, pali madokotala, akatswiri amisala, akatswiri azamisala, mafoni othandizira, mabwalo, ndi mitundu ingapo yazinthu zina zamaganizidwe. Mutha kuwathandiza kulumikizana ndi akatswiri kapena kuwawuza kuti alankhule ndi munthu yemwe waphunzitsidwa kuchita masewera amalingaliro paubwenzi. Kupita kuchipatala kungathandize kuti azikhala bwino, odekha komanso athanzi. Ngati mukuyang'ana zothandizira kuti muthandize mnzanu, waluso komanso wodziwa zambiri alangizi pa gulu la Bonobology zili pano chifukwa cha inu.

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.