Mind Games Mu Ubale - Momwe Amawonekera Ndi Chifukwa Chake Anthu Amazichita

Kodi mwayamba kumene chibwenzi ndi munthu wina ndipo mukuwoneka wodabwitsidwa chifukwa cholephera kukufotokozerani momveka bwino? Zitha kukhala chifukwa ndizovuta kwa iwo kuzindikira momwe akumvera, choncho amafunikira kuleza mtima, chithandizo, kapena mafunso odekha kuchokera kwa inu. Kapena, iwo akupanga dala kusamvetsetsana. Masewera amalingaliro m'maubwenzi samangokhala ndi chisokonezo chochuluka, amakhalanso ndi zotsatira zoipa m'maganizo a munthu amene ali pampando wolandira khalidwe losokoneza.

Panthawi ina m'miyoyo yathu, takhala tikukumana ndi anthu omwe amasewera masewera amphamvu mu maubwenzi. Palibe cholakwika ndi kuzunzidwa m'maganizo. Mudzawona masewera amalingaliro a subconscious mu gawo lililonse la moyo. Koma zofala kwambiri nthawi zonse zimawoneka muzochitika zachikondi.

Kodi Masewera a Maganizo Amatanthauza Chiyani?

Mwachidule, masewera amisala muubwenzi amayesedwa mwadala ndi kuyesera kwa mnzanu m'modzi kuti alamulire mnzake mwamaganizo. Izi ndi njira zachikondi zomwe zimabisika ngati chikondi . Chifukwa chake, kusewera masewera ndi njira yosokeretsa, kusokoneza, ndikupangitsa winayo kumva kuti alibe mphamvu.

Masewera amalingaliro awa ndi ochenjera komanso osadziwika pachiyambi. Munthu amene akusewera masewera amachita izi:

• Amayesa kupeza mphamvu ndi kulamulira pa inu
• Amasewera khadi la 'wozunzidwa'
• Amasonyeza khalidwe lachibwanabwana

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati wina akusewera nanu ndipo chifukwa chiyani anthu amatero poyamba? M'munsimu muli zifukwa ndi zizindikiro zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuzindikira nkhanza.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Amasewera Masewera a Maganizo Pamabwenzi?

Kusewera masewera kumafuna kusokoneza ubongo kwambiri. Anthu adzachita ngati amakukondani ndikukukondani, ndipo mphindi yotsatira adzakupangitsani kumva ngati mulibe kanthu. Monga ngati simuli woyenera chikondi chawo. N’chifukwa chiyani amachita zimenezi? Pezani zifukwa pansipa. 

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1. Akufuna kunena mphamvu

Pali mikangano yamphamvu mu ubale uliwonse. Pamene mphamvu ya chilengedwe mu chiyanjano ili yokhota, ikhoza kuyambitsa kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu molakwika. Pakakhala masewera a ubale, ndiye kuti m'modzi wa iwo amayesa kuwongolera zomwe akudziwa kuti ali nazo. Chifukwa chimodzi chimene amachitira zimenezi n’chakuti alibe mphamvu pa mbali zina za moyo wawo.

2. Ndi odzikuza ndipo alibe ulemu 

Mungaganize kuti anthu odzikonda amakhala ndi kudzidalira kwambiri. Koma zimenezo sizingakhale zoona. Anthu ambiri omwe akulimbana ndi kudzidalira amadziwika kuti ali ndi kudzidalira kwakukulu. Gawo limodzi la iwo lidzawapangitsa kuganiza kuti sali oyenerera chilichonse, gawo lina lidzawapangitsa kukhulupirira kuti ndi anthu apamwamba: Izi ndi zina mwa njira zomwe kudzidalira kochepa muubwenzi kumaonekera.

3. Adakumana ndi zowawa zakale 

Pachiyambi cha masewera a ubale, pakhoza kukhala munthu yemwe adakhalapo ndi zowawa zakale ndipo tsopano wamanga makoma mozungulira iwo. Amafuna kudziteteza poyang'anira zochitika zaubwenzi. Mantha ndi kukaikira kumayendetsa zisankho zawo. Iwo akuyesera kukhala otsimikiza kotheratu za inu ndi kusankha ngati akukhulupirirani kapena ayi. Amaopa kuvulazidwa, choncho amakhala osamala asanakuuzeni mozama. 

4. Akufuna kuti muwathamangitse

Anthu ena amakonda kwambiri kufunafuna munthu wabwino. Ndikudziwa izi chifukwa ndachitapo izi kale. Izi zimachokera ku kudzikuza kapena kusadzidalira. Ndi chimodzi mwa makhalidwe oipa kwambiri omwe mungakhale nawo ndipo ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zakuti muli pachibwenzi choipa . Ndinkakonda kukonda mnzanga nthawi ina ndipo nthawi ina ndinkachita zinthu zosayenera komanso zosayenera.

5. Iwo ndi onyoza

Narcissists nthawi zonse amatha kusewera masewera. Adzakunyengererani, adzakulamulirani, ndipo akufuna kuti mukhale thumba lawo lokhomerera. Narcissist adzapeza malo anu ofooka ndipo amawamenyabe. Adzakuyesanibe kuti awone kutali komwe mungapite. Adzachita izi momasuka kotero kuti simudzazindikira kuti akukudyerani. Adzakupangitsani kuwakhulupirira, ndipo adzakudulani inu kwa ena. 

Kodi Masewera Amalingaliro Muubwenzi Amawoneka Motani - Zizindikiro 13

Chifukwa china chomwe anthu amasewera masewera amisala muubwenzi ndichakuti akufuna kukufooketsani mwa kukupangitsani kukayikira nokha. Kunyenga muubwenzi kumachitika kuti muyambe kukayikira chilichonse chomwe chikuchitika mozungulira inu. Zingawoneke ngati khalidwe lopanda nkhanza . Tsopano popeza tadziwa chifukwa chake anthu amasewera masewera amisala, tiyeni tiwone momwe masewera amisala amaonekera.

1. Khalidwe lawo lotentha ndi lozizira lidzakusokonezani

Kutumiza zizindikiro zosakanikirana ndi imodzi mwamasewera odziwika bwino a ubale. Mphindi imodzi, mnzanu amasewera molimbika kuti apeze. Mphindi yotsatira, akuzungulirani. Chilichonse ndichabwino mphindi imodzi ndikugwedezeka motsatira, popanda chifukwa. N’chifukwa chiyani akuchita zinthu motalikirana? Cholinga chokhacho kumbuyo kusewera molimbika kuti mupeze ndikuwongolera. Amakulepheretsani chidwi chifukwa akufuna kukhala chinthu chosowa chomwe mumalakalaka.

2. Breadcrumbing ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za masewera maganizo mu maubwenzi 

Kusadya chakudya chambiri pachibwenzi ndi mawu ena oti munthu atsogolere. Sali ndi chidwi chofuna kukhala paubwenzi weniweni ndi inu koma amakutumizirani mauthenga okopa kuti akukopeni. Iyi ndi imodzi mwa masewera amisala omwe anyamata amachita akatha chibwenzi. Amafuna kudzaza malo opanda kanthu omwe adasiyidwa ndi wakale wawo ndipo amafuna kupewa kukhala okha.

Chifukwa chosadziŵika bwino zochita zawo, mwatsala pang’ono kudzifunsa ngati pali vuto ndi inu. Chifukwa chachikulu chomwe amakusiyirani nthawi zonse ndi zinyenyeswazi za mkate ndikuti zimawapangitsa kuti azidzimva bwino, popeza akufunafuna kutsimikizika ndi chitsimikizo. Sakuyang'ana njira yeniyeni yolumikizira / yothandizira.

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3. Kuwombera kwachikondi ndi njira yawo yolumikizirana nanu

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa masewera ambiri ubale. Umu ndi momwe kuwombera kwachikondi kumagwirira ntchito:

• Adzakuvumbitsani ndi mawu achikondi
• Adzakutamandani ndikukugulirani mphatso zopambanitsa
• Manja awo oganiza bwino adzakugonjetsani inu
• Simudzazindikira ngakhale kuti mukugwa pansi pa matsenga awo

Mukangowakonda ndi kudzipereka ku chikondi chawo, adzataya chidwi. Adzasiya kuchita zinthu zosonyeza chikondi chawo ndipo mudzasokonezeka. Zonse ndi zachangu kwambiri. Amasiya zonsezi mukangowabwezera zomwe akumva. Pamenepo ndi pomwe mudzazindikira kuti sakukondani, koma adakonda kwambiri adrenaline yomwe anali nayo akamakuthamangitsani.

4. Amakulamulirani;

Sikuti amangokupangitsani kumva chisoni chifukwa chotsatira matumbo anu, komanso amakuuzani zisankho zanu. Ubale wanu wodzipereka sulinso gulu la anthu awiri; ndi iwo okha pampando wa dalaivala nthawizonse. Mfundo zanu zazikulu zimayamba kusintha ndipo amakhumudwa kwambiri mukapanda kutsatira malangizo awo.

Shell, yemwe ali ndi zaka 31, yemwe ali ndi luso lojambula zithunzi, anatiuza kuti: “Mnyamata wanga wakale ankandiuza kuti amalemekeza maganizo anga nthawi zonse.” Umu ndi mmene ndinayambira kucheza nawo. lingaliro lina.

5. Adzakumba maso ako

Amanena zinthu monga “Mudzawoneka bwino mukakongoletsa nkhope yanu pang'ono chifukwa zidzapangitsa nkhope yanu kuoneka yopyapyala” kapena “Mudzawoneka bwino ngati mutachepetsa thupi pang'ono kuchokera m'chiuno mwanu”. Amuna, makamaka, amauzidwa kuti ayenera kuchita 'kukana' m'dziko la chibwenzi; njira yoopsa yopangitsa munthu kudzimva wosatetezeka kudzera mu kuyamikiridwa ndi manja. Izi ndi zizindikiro zofiira za ubale mwa mwamuna zomwe muyenera kuzisamala nazo.

6. Adzakufananiza ndi akale awo

Anthu ena amachita zimenezi chifukwa chokondana kwambiri ndi mwamuna wawo wakale. Ena amakonda kuchita izi makamaka chifukwa cha kusasamala. Kusewera masewera kumalimbikitsidwa poyerekezera. Amachita zimenezi n’cholinga choti akusungeni m’malo amene muli ndi mantha. Mudzayamba kukayikira nokha ndipo mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro awa:

• “Bwanji akandisiya?”
• "Sindili bwino kwa iwo"
• “Sindiyenera kuwayenera”

Tulukani mumsampha woyerekeza mwanzeru ndipo ingogwirizanani nawo. “Inde, ndi wokongola kwambiri!” “Ndikugwirizana. Amawoneka bwino kwambiri ndi mimba zimenezo.” Mukachita zinthu mosasamala komanso mosavutikira ndi mawu awo, adzatopa kwambiri ndipo adzathetsa masewerawa oyerekeza.

7. Adzakumanga ndi miyala

Chikhalidwe chabwino chakale chokhala chete ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zapamwamba zamasewera. Stonewalling ndi imodzi mwa njira zowonongera, kuwongolera, ndikupeza mphamvu mu ubale. Nazi zitsanzo:

• Amakupatsani mayankho amtundu umodzi monga "chabwino," "zedi," ndi "chabwino"
• Iwo amanyalanyaza mafoni anu ndi mauthenga
• Iwo akukunenezani kuti mwapanga phiri ndi phiri

Chitani masewera amisala muubwenzi mwa kuphunzira malangizo othetsera mikangano mwauchikulire. Pezani njira zabwino zolankhulirana ndikuthetsa mavutowo kamodzi ndi kamodzi. Kulankhula chete kumakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino. Sikungoletsa kulankhulana kokha komanso kumabweretsa mavuto ena monga kusowa ubwenzi, kuchepa kwa malingaliro abwino kwa wina ndi mnzake, nkhawa, ndi kupsinjika maganizo.

8. Adzakutumiza Maulendo olakwa 

Kudziimba mlandu ndi maganizo amphamvu kwambiri komanso ovuta ndipo akagwiritsidwa ntchito molumikizana, amatha kuwononga kwambiri. Wopalamula mlandu adzawonetsa zoyesayesa zomwe ayika muubwenzi powonetsa kusachita khama kumbali yanu. Adzakupangitsani kumva ngati simunachite kalikonse. Monga ngati adanyamula ubalewu pamsana pawo kuyambira tsiku loyamba, pomwe sizili choncho. 

Masewera amaganizo otere amawononga mgwirizano. Njira yokhayo yotulukira mu izi ndi kulimbana nawo. Auzeni kuti mumayamikira zonse zomwe amakuchitirani koma ayenera kusiya ndi maulendo onse olakwa. 

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9. Kuitana zolanda kungakhalenso chizindikiro chimodzi cha masewera amalingaliro mu ubale 

Mukuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wina ndipo mwazindikira kuti munthuyu nthawi zambiri sapezeka. Amakutumizirani mameseji ndikukuyimbirani nthawi iliyonse akafuna. Palibe chifukwa choganizira nthawi yanu komanso kuchuluka kwa nthawi yanu. Koma mwadzidzidzi, amakusangalatsani ndi chikondi. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa akufuna kugonana. Jean, chitsanzo cha ku Illinois, akutsimikizira kuchokera ku zomwe adakumana nazo zoyipa, "Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoti simukutanthauza chilichonse kwa iye . Masewera onse amisala omwe anyamata amachita atapatukana, ndawawona onse ndi wakale wanga. Ankauza aliyense kuti ndine mnzawo, koma kenako sankandilankhula kwa masiku ambiri. Pokhapokha ngati akufuna kuchitapo kanthu."

Adzakutsimikizirani kuti ali ndi malingaliro pa inu. Koma mawu awo sangafanane ndi zochita zawo. Kuziyika m'mawu omveka bwino - adzakugwiritsani ntchito pogonana. Masewera amphamvu otere mu maubwenzi amasiya wina akukayikira kufunika kwake. Izi zisanachitike, thawani kutali ndi iwo. 

10. Adzachita mosiyana pamaso pa ena

Taganizirani izi. Mnzako wakhala akuchita nanu mozizira. Koma mukakhala ndi anzanu kapena achibale anu, amaoneka ngati ali paliponse, ngati kuti sakunyalanyazani kwa maola atatu okha. Kapena adzalabadira wina aliyense kupatula inu, ndipo sadzakhalanso ndi chikondi ndi inu. Adzakuchitirani ngati bwenzi la platonic kapena, choyipa, chodziwa. Zimakhudzanso kwambiri ngati mnzanuyo sakulemekeza kapena kuchita mwano pamaso pa ena.

11. Adzakupatsirani mpweya

Iyi ndi imodzi mwanjira zowopsa komanso zowopsa pakusewera masewera. Mfundo yonse kumbuyo kwa wina yemwe akukuwunikirani ndikukusokonezani. Amafuna kuti muziganiza kuti simungagwire ntchito nokha. Adzakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka ndipo adzakupangitsani kukayikira ziweruzo zanu ndi kukumbukira kwanu. Chotsatira chomaliza ndi pamene mukukayikira zenizeni zanu komanso umunthu wanu.

Nazi zitsanzo zina za kuunikira kwa gasi zomwe tikukhulupirira kuti simungamve :

• “Ndiwe wamanyazi”
• “Wapenga, ukufunika thandizo”
• "Ndiwe mwayi kuti ndapirira izi"

12. Adzachita ngati simuwayenera;

Anthu odzikonda amakonda kusewera masewera amisala awa. Chifukwa cha zizolowezi zawo zodzikonda, nthawi zonse amayesa kudyetsa dyera lawo mwa kunyoza anthu ena. Masewera amisala oopsa omwe amuna amachita, monga momwe akazi amachitira. Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe anthu odzikonda sangathe kusunga ubale . Kudzikonda kwawo ndi kudzikuza kwawo nthawi zambiri zimawachotsa kwa anthu.

Ndiye mungadziwe bwanji ngati wina akusewera masewera amalingaliro ndi inu? Adzakupangitsani kuti musamadzimvere chisoni ndikukuuzani kuti akuyenera kukhala munthu wabwinoko. Kapena angakupangitseni kumverera kuti izi ndi zomwe muyenera - kuzizira, kusalankhulana, ndi maulendo olakwa. Zitha kupita njira iliyonse ndipo muyenera kuyambiranso ndikutuluka mumkhalidwewu. 

13. Adzakuikirani malire;

Anthu amene amakupatsa chilango muubwenzi sangasamale za inu kapena malingaliro anu chifukwa akanatero, sakanakupatsani chilango poyamba. Zingakhale za chilichonse. Nazi zitsanzo zina:

• "Ndikwatire kapena tamaliza"
• “Ngati susiya kulankhula ndi munthuyo, sindilankhula nawe kwa mlungu umodzi”
• “Ngati suwauza makolo ako za ife, zatha kwa ine”

Kodi mungamuchenjeze bwanji kapena kumuwuza mnzanu kuti achite zinazake pakapita nthawi? Chimenecho ndi chikondi chokhazikika. Simungathe kuopseza wokondedwa wanu chonchi, ndikuchitcha kuti 'chosowa' chanu. Ngati amene mumamukonda amadzilowetsa m'masewera oterowo ndikuwopseza kuti akusiyani, mulole apite. Mukuyenera kuchita bwino kwambiri. 

Kuchita ndi Mnzanu Amene Amasewera Masewera a Maganizo

Kukhala ndi mnzanu amene salandira udindo kungakhale kotopetsa kwambiri. Mutha kudzitaya nokha muubwenzi wotere. Mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungachitire ndi munthu amene amasewera masewera a ubwenzi? Umu ndi momwe mungathandizire kuti ubale wanu wovuta ugwire ntchito:

• Osayesa kusewera nokha masewerawo ndipo musataye mphamvu zanu kuti atenge chidwi chawo
• Ingowafunsani chomwe chikuwasowetsa mtendere komanso chifukwa chomwe akukuvutitsani ndi mawu achipongwe
• Afunseni ngati pali chilichonse chimene mungachite kuti muthandize
• Ngati sakufuna kuchitapo kanthu, chotsani nokha pazochitikazo
• Auzeni kuti abwere kwa inu pamene ali okonzekera kukambitsirana okhwima

Kodi vutoli limakhala lozama? Kodi zachokera paubwenzi wawo wakale? Kapena akupanga zowawa zaubwana? Mphamvu ya subconscious mind kuti zinthu zichitike ndi yamphamvu kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Mwinamwake mnzanuyo anali ndi makolo omwe amangosewera masewera ndipo tsopano akungobwereza zomwezo.

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Koma inu sindinu mthandizi wawo ndipo ntchito yanu si 'kuwakonza'. Pewani masewera amalingaliro muubwenzi podziyika nokha patsogolo. Ngati zikuwononga thanzi lanu lamalingaliro, tulukani muzochitikazi ndikupeza wina yemwe sangakupusitseni komanso osadzidalira. Kapena ingopatulani nthawi yodzichiritsa nokha kwakanthawi.

Pomaliza, pali madokotala, akatswiri a zamaganizo, akatswiri a zamaganizo, malo othandizira, malo ochitira misonkhano, ndi zinthu zina zambiri zokhudzana ndi thanzi la maganizo. Mutha kuwathandiza kulumikizana ndi akatswiri kapena kuwalangiza kuti alankhule ndi munthu amene waphunzitsidwa kuthana ndi masewera amisala muubwenzi. Kupita ku chithandizo chamankhwala kungawathandize kumva bwino, bata, komanso thanzi labwino. Ngati mukufuna zinthu zothandizira mnzanu, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.