8 Mantha Wamba Mu Ubale - Malangizo a Katswiri Kuti Mugonjetse

Mantha m'maubwenzi siachilendo. Ngakhale maubwenzi abwino kwambiri, otetezeka kwambiri amabwera ndi mtundu wina wa mantha a ubale, kaya kuopa kukhala pachibwenzi, kuopa kudzipereka, kuopa kutha, kapena kungoopa zibwenzi.

Ndikosavuta kunena kuti muyang'ane ndi mantha anu. Koma mantha mu maubwenzi angabwere chifukwa cha kusatetezeka komwe kwakhalako kwanthawi yayitali komanso zowawa zaubwana zomwe sizosavuta kuyimilira ndikuzigonjetsa. Ndikofunika, komabe, kuvomereza kuti mantha awa ndi ofala komanso kuti si inu nokha amene mukuwamva.

Mndandanda wa mantha muubwenzi ukhoza kukhala wautali koma wochenjera, wowonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana pa chiyanjano chanu. Kotero, mumazindikira bwanji mantha a ubale wanu ndikuwagonjetsa? Kodi mumalankhula ndi mnzanu poyamba? Kodi mumalankhula ndi katswiri? Kodi mumakhala ndikukhala ndi mantha kuti mumve malingaliro anu?

Tinaganiza kuti izi zimafuna thandizo la akatswiri. Choncho, tinalankhula ndi mphunzitsi wa moyo komanso mlangizi Joie Bose , yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa anthu omwe akukumana ndi mavuto a maukwati, kutha kwa mabanja ndi zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, za mantha ena omwe amapezeka kwambiri m'maubwenzi ndi momwe angayambire kuwathetsa.

5 Zizindikiro Mantha Amakhudza Maubwenzi

Musanayambe kukonza ubale wanu phobia, mumadziwa bwanji kuti muli ndi mantha awa? Nazi zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti mantha ali ndi zotsatira zoipa pa maubwenzi anu.

1. Ubwenzi wanu sukupita patsogolo

Kuopa kudzipereka ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe zimafala kwambiri pa mndandanda wa mantha muubwenzi. Ngati nthawi iliyonse mnzanu akufuna 'kukambirana' za komwe muli muubwenzi kapena pamene mukuganiza kuti zinthu zikuipiraipira, mumayamba thukuta lozizira, zikuwoneka ngati mungakhale munthu wonyoza kudzipereka ndipo mukusunga ubale wanu ukuyenda bwino.

2. Mukuopa kufotokoza zosowa zanu

Ngati mukuopa kulankhula muubwenzi wanu, izi zitha kuchitika chifukwa cha mantha akuti simukufuna kapena kuti mnzanuyo angakusiyeni chifukwa choti ndinu wosowa kwambiri. Kuopa kuti simukufuna kulankhula muubwenzi mwina ndi mantha omwe amapezeka kwambiri ndipo ambiri aife timagwedeza mutu ndikumwetulira pamene tikufuna kulankhula zomwe sizikugwira ntchito kwa ife komanso zomwe tikufunadi. Pamapeto pake, izi zingayambitse mkwiyo ndi kuwononga ubalewo. Muyenera kulankhula kapena kupeza njira zothetsera kukana.

3. Ubwenzi wanu umakhala wovuta

Pamene mulibe zokonda zosiyana ndi malire a ubale wabwino pamene muli ndi nthawi yokwanira yotalikirana nokha, ubale ukhoza kumverera ngati mtolo osati mdalitso.

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Izi zitha kuchitika chifukwa choopa kuwonedwa ngati wokonda kwambiri payekhapayekha, m'malo modzifotokozera nokha ngati gawo la banja. Komabe, pamapeto pake, mutha kusiyiratu chibwenzi chanu kuti mudzipatse nthawi.

4. Muli ndi nkhani zodalirika

Nkhani zokhudza kudalirana muubwenzi sizitanthauza kuti simudzatha kudalira mnzanu, koma mantha muubwenzi angapangitse mmodzi kapena onse awiri kukhala osamala potsegula mtima ndikumukhulupirira mnzanuyo kwathunthu.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi mumalankhula ndi wokondedwa wanu za banja lanu lomwe silikuyenda bwino, kapena mumabisa? Kodi ndinu woona mtima pa ubale wanu wakale kapena mungangosiya zinthu zosaneneka? Nkhani zodalirika zimakhala ndi njira yochepetsera chipale chofewa ndikuyambitsa ming'alu yayikulu muubwenzi wanu, chifukwa chake muyenera kuzikonza.

5. Umakankhira mnzako kutali

Kuopa maubwenzi kumachokera ku kudzidalira komanso kutsimikiza kuti mnzanuyo angakusiyeni choncho mukhoza kuwasiya poyamba kapena kuwasunga nthawi zonse.

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Kuopa kutayika mu maubwenzi kapena kuopa chibwenzi kumatanthauza kuti simulola kuti chiyanjano chifike pamlingo wozama. Sikuti kungodzipereka chabe kapena kuopa kuphonya, komanso kumaganiza kuti muvulazidwa kuti musalole kuvulaza mtima wanu. Izi zitha kutanthauza kuti mukuphonya ubale weniweni ndikutsegulira munthu wina, ndikugawana moyo wanu ndi bwenzi lanu.

8 Mantha Wamba Paubwenzi Ndi Zoyenera Kuchita Pa Iwo

Ngakhale kuti mantha ambiri amachokera ku zochitika zakale ndi zomwe adaziwona, zimakhala zosiyana ndi moyo wa munthu aliyense," akutero Joie.

Mantha mu maubwenzi amatha kubwera mwa mitundu yonse. Nazi mantha 8 omwe amabwera muubwenzi:

1. Kuopa ubwenzi

Mukapitirizabe kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa choopa kwambiri zomwe zingachitike (kwenikweni, kodi palibe amene anaonera Jaws?), ndi chizindikiro cha mantha a chibwenzi . Palinso mantha a chibwenzi chomwe chingachokere chifukwa cha kuvutika maganizo kapena kusowa chidziwitso komanso kukumana ndi vuto la kugonana.

2. Kuopa kutaya bwenzi

Pamene ubale wanu wonse umadziwika ndi mantha ochulukirapo kuti pamapeto pake, mudzayenera kuphunzira kukhala opanda iwo, ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji kusunga zinthu pamodzi. Izi zingakulepheretseninso kutuluka mu ubale woopsa.

3. Kuopa kukanidwa

Apa ndi pamene inu simudzafunsanso munthu pa tsiku chifukwa inu wotsimikiza palibe amene akufuna kukhala pa ubwenzi ndi inu kapena ngakhale kuvomereza kutuluka nanu.

4. Kuopa kudzipereka

Mwadzitsimikizira kuti mukungofesa oats zakutchire, koma zoona zake, mukuwopa kugwidwa muubwenzi womwe simungathe kuchokamo, chifukwa kuchoka kumangomva kosavuta kusiyana ndi kukhala ndikugwira ntchito pa chiyanjano.

5. Kuopa kuti mudzataya umunthu wanu

Izi zikugwirizana ndi kuopa kudzipereka koma mochulukira pang'ono, chifukwa mumakhala ndi nkhawa kuti ubale udzakuvulani chilichonse chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala wosiyana ndi inu. Kuti mudzakhala bwenzi la winawake ndipo zidzakhala zonse.

6. Kuopa chigololo

Kodi nthawi zonse mumayang'ana foni ya mnzanu nthawi iliyonse akalandira uthenga ndikuganizira momwe mwamuna/mkazi winayo alili wabwino komanso/kapena wokongola kuposa inu? Mantha amenewa si mantha, koma amafunika kuthetsedwa, kaya mwasankha kusiya kusakhulupirika kapena ayi.

7. Kuopa kuti mnzako sangawonekere kwa iwe

Ndimachitchanso 'mantha osagwirizana ndi chikondi nthawi zonse' zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mumaopa kukhulupirira wokondedwa wanu kuti akuwonetsani pakufunika, mwakuthupi komanso m'maganizo. Izi zimakhala zovuta makamaka ngati gulu limodzi likuwonekera nthawi zonse, koma lina silikuwoneka.

8. Kuopa kuti sizingafanane ndi zomwe mumaganizira

Apa ndi pamene mumayembekezera kukhala ndi moyo wabwino kwambiri monga buku lachikondi kapena kanema, ndipo mumatopa kangapo kenako n’kupewa kugwirizana, osati chifukwa chakuti pali zizindikiro zowononga ubale , koma chifukwa chakuti zomwe zili m’mutu mwanu ndi zotetezeka komanso zabwino kwambiri.

Palibe njira imodzi kapena yopanda nzeru yothetsera mantha mu maubwenzi kapena kuopa maubwenzi, koma choyamba ndikuzindikira kuti ubale wa phobia ndi weniweni komanso wamba. Mukachita izi, mutha kuchitapo kanthu kuti mupite ku chithandizo, yesetsani kukhazikitsa malire ndi zina zotero.

Ngakhale kuti mantha ambiri amakhala ndi mizu yofanana ya kuvulala koyambirira, kusiyidwa, kuzunzidwa ndi zina, ndikofunikira kufufuza zomwe zimayambitsa kaye, kuti mayankho achindunji ndi okhazikika apezeke pambuyo pake. Werengani kuti mudziwe zambiri.

Katswiri Akufotokoza Zomwe Zimayambitsa Mantha Pa Maubwenzi

Tikakhala ndi mantha, nthawi zambiri zimakhala chifukwa chakuti takumanapo ndi zomwezi, kapena kuona anthu ena akuvulazidwa mwanjira ina. Mantha mu maubwenzi ndi ofanana. Ndizotheka kuti takhala ndi maubwenzi am'mbuyomu omwe adatisiya tili ndi zipsera, kapena tawonapo zachikondi zambiri zomwe amati sizinali zosangalatsa.

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"Mukakhala ndi mndandanda wa mantha muubwenzi, zomwe zimayambitsa nthawi zambiri zimakhala zozama ndipo zimafunikira kudziwitsidwa ndi/kapena kuthandizidwa ndi akatswiri malinga ndi mtundu wa mantha," akutero Joie.

Iye anafotokoza kuti, “Kuopa kudzipereka kumadziwika kuti gamophobia ndipo nthawi zambiri, anthu omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi maukwati oipa pamene akukula amaopa kudziika okha m’mavuto otere. Aona anthu akukodwa muubwenzi wosasangalala popanda njira yotulukira ndipo amakhulupirira kuti maukwati onse ali choncho. Kuopa kulamulidwa kumagwirizanitsidwanso ndi kuopa kudzipereka.”

"Kenako, pamakhala kuopa kukanidwa m'maubwenzi, komwe kuli kofala kwambiri." Izi zimachitika chifukwa chakukanidwa ndi inu nokha poyamba. Ngati nthawi zonse mumatsimikiza kuti simuli wabwino mokwanira, ngati mumadziona kuti ndinu osafunika, mudzayamba kudzikana nokha musanadziwonetse nokha.

Joie akupitiriza kunena kuti pamene aliyense amabwera mu maubwenzi ndi mantha ndi kusatetezeka, ndi pamene mantha amakhala chinthu chodziwika bwino cha ubale chomwe chiyenera kutengedwa mozama. Iye anati: “N’kofunika kwambiri kuti muziyesetsa kuchita zinthu mwanzeru ndiponso kuti musamachite mantha, koma zikayamba kusokoneza ubwenzi wanu ndi munthu wabwino, ndi nthawi yoti muchitepo kanthu.

Malangizo 5 Akatswiri Othana ndi Mantha Paubwenzi

Choncho, takambirana za mitundu ya mantha ndi kumene ambiri a iwo mizu. Koma, mumasuntha bwanji kuopa chibwenzi, kapena kuopa kutha kapena kuopa kutayika mu ubale? Taphatikiza maupangiri othana ndi mantha muubwenzi kuti tipange ndikusunga maubwenzi abwino, apamtima.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli Paubwenzi Wakufa

1. Khulupirirani kuti maubwenzi abwino ndi otheka

Joie anati: “Kukhulupirira m’chikondi, kukhala ndi maunansi abwino, okondana kumachokera mkati.” Sitingakakamizidwe,” akutero Joie, akumawonjezera kuti chikhulupiriro choterocho chimatenga nthaŵi ndi mphamvu yaikulu.

"Ngati mwakhala mu ubale wosasangalatsa kapena wokhumudwitsa kumene simunalumikizane kwenikweni, zimakhala zovuta kudzilimbitsa mtima ndikubwerera. Koma chikhulupiriro ichi ndi komwe ubale uliwonse wabwino umayambira," akutero iye.

Ngati munapenyerera ndi kukumbukira Jerry McGuire, mudzadziŵa kuti 'tikukhala m'dziko lopanda pake, losuliza.' Nthawi zonse timakumana ndi zoyipitsitsa za anthu ndipo pali nkhani zanthawi zonse ndi zitsanzo za momwe moyo ndi chikondi zingakhalire. Zimenezo n’zoona zimene sitingathe kuzipewa.

Koma, ngati mukufuna kumanga dziko lanu laling'ono pomwe palibe chikondi chochuluka komanso chikondi chokhazikika, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi chikhulupiriro cholimba kuti dziko lotere likhoza kukhalapo. Palibe chitsimikizo chakuti chikondi chidzakhalapo, koma sizikutanthauza kuti sichidzakhala chofunikira kwambiri pa moyo. Ndipo kumbukirani, Jerry McGuire nayenso ali ndi mawu akuti, "Munandilandira moni". Zonse zimatengera zomwe mwasankha kukumbukira.

2. Dzifunseni kuti, 'choipa kwambiri n'chiyani?

Ichi ndi chinthu chomwe ndimakonda kuchita ndikamafunsana za ntchito yatsopano ndikukambirana zandalama. Ndinkakonda kuyankhula ndi munthu wabwino kwambiri kenako ndikukonzekera chilichonse chomwe angafune kundipatsa. Kenako, ndimazindikira kuti chinthu choyipa kwambiri chomwe chingachitike ngati nditapempha kuti andipatse mawu okweza kwambiri, ndikanakana. Ndipo ine ndikanapulumuka.

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Izi zimagwiranso ntchito mukamakamba za mantha mu maubwenzi. Pofotokoza za kuopa kukanidwa, Joie akuti, "Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati wina wakukanani? Palibe. Mutha kumva zowawa pang'ono koma zimadutsanso. Kumbali inayi, pali dziko lonse lapansi lodzaza ndi chisangalalo ngati wina atakulandirani, chabwino? Chiyembekezo chimatipangitsa kupita patsogolo. Ngati mutha kubweretsa malingaliro anu kuti akhulupirire, ndiye kuti mutha kuthana ndi mantha awa. "

Cathy akuti, "Ndinatuluka mu chibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali ndipo ndinkaopa kwambiri kuyamba china chilichonse. Mwana wanga wamkazi ankandiuza kuti ndiyambe kugwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu ochezera a amayi osakwatiwa kuti ndithetse mantha anga okonda chibwenzi koma sindinachitepo kale. Pomaliza, ndinamulola kuti andipangire mbiri yanga, ndipo ndinadabwa ndekha! Ndakhalapo pa maulendo angapo ndipo ndimachita bwino kwambiri!"

3. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Kusatetezeka paubwenzi ndikobisika ndipo kumatha kulowa m'moyo wanu wachikondi m'njira zoyipa kwambiri. Nthawi zina, khutu laubwenzi, lopanda tsankho komanso laukadaulo litha kukhala yankho kumavuto anu onse, kapena kungoyambira kuwathetsa.

"Padzakhala nkhani zomwe akatswiri amafunikira. Ngati muli ndi mantha okhudzana ndi kugonana, mwachitsanzo, pangakhale zifukwa zakuthupi zomwe zimafuna thandizo la katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi dokotala wodziwa bwino za kugonana. Ndi bwino kuthana ndi izi mothandizidwa ndi dokotala wophunzitsidwa bwino, "akutero Joie.

Pa mantha ndi nkhawa zomwe zimayenderana ndi anthu, kapena mantha achikondi , zingakhale zovuta kulankhula za izi ngakhale ndi anthu odalirika, kapena kufikira katswiri wa zamaganizo. Dziwani kuti simuli nokha ndipo kupempha thandizo si chinthu chochititsa manyazi. Simungapange ubale wabwino ngati mwadzipweteka nokha, chifukwa chake mukalandira thandizo, mukuthandizanso mnzanuyo.

Mungasankhe chithandizo cha maanja, kapena kuyamba ndi uphungu wa munthu payekha poyamba ngati mukuganiza kuti ndi bwino. Koma tengani sitepe yoyamba yoopsayo ndikupempha thandizo. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito la Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

4. Khalani ndi mabanja osangalala

Kuopa kutayika muubwenzi ndi mantha othaŵa chibwenzi zimativutitsa tonse nthawi ina. Izi ndi zoona makamaka ngati mwaona amuna odzikonda okha , okwatirana okwiya komanso anthu omwe amaoneka angwiro koma nthawi zonse amanyozana. Choncho, ndikofunikira kuti musiye kusuta fodya woterewu ndikudzipangira ubale wosangalatsa.

“Njira yabwino yotulutsira mantha m’maubwenzi ndiyo kukhala ndi okwatirana amene amagwira ntchito pa maunansi awo ndi amene amasangalala kugwira ntchitoyo ndi kukolola zotulukapo zake.” Pamene muona ena akupeza chisangalalo chenicheni m’maubwenzi awo, kumakhala kosavuta pang’ono kukhulupirira kuti kudzipereka ndi chikondi ziri zenizeni,” akutero Joie.

Tsopano, palibe banja lomwe limakhala losangalala nthawi zonse. Ngakhale banja labwino kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi limakhala ndi mikangano ndi mikangano. "Ndili mwana wa banja losudzulana ndipo ndinakulira ndikuona makolo anga akuvutika kwambiri muukwati wawo womwe ukutha . Koma kenako, amayi anga atakwatiwanso, ndinaonanso momwe zinalili zosiyana ndi mwamuna wawo wachiwiri. Ndinkadziwa kale kuti ukwati ukhoza kukhala wovuta kwambiri, koma ndinazindikira kuti moyo ndi chikondi zingakupatseninso mwayi wachiwiri," akutero Kylie.

5. Khalani olimba mtima kuti mukhale osatetezeka

Kuopa kukanidwa muubwenzi kungakhale kopundula. Ndipo sikuti ndi kungofunsa munthu kapena kuyandikira mtsikanayo kuchokera kuntchito yomwe mwakhala mukuphwanya mpaka kalekale. Palinso mantha ofooketsa okana kukanidwa pamene mukuyesera kugawana nawo zakuya ndi mantha anu, inuyo weniweni, wodzikuza kwambiri.

Apa mwina ndi pamene muyenera kukhala olimba mtima kwambiri, kuti mulimbikitse kufooka muubwenzi . Kodi mumatsegulana bwanji maganizo pang'ono? Kodi mumavomereza bwanji kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mudzasintha ndikusintha, monga momwe ubale wanu udzasinthira? Kodi mumawongola bwanji msana wanu, kupuma mpweya wambiri ndikungoyamba kukondana kwanu?

Palibe mwa izi chomwe chiri chophweka, kotero musadzipweteke nokha ngati sichibwera kwa inu nthawi yomweyo. Mantha mu maubwenzi amabwera chifukwa cha zaka ndi zaka za kusatetezeka ndipo kwa ambiri aife, njira yabwino yopewera ululu wamtundu uliwonse ndikumanga khoma lamalingaliro loteteza kuzungulira mitima yathu. Kulimba mtima ndi ulendo, osati kopita ndipo kumabwera ndi masitepe ang'onoang'ono ndi manja omwe timapanga tokha komanso anzathu tsiku lililonse.

Mantha mu maubwenzi, kuopa maubwenzi - zonsezi ndi nkhani yaikulu pakati pa anthu ambiri ndi maubwenzi awo. Zimandilimbikitsa kwambiri kudziwa kuti sindine ndekha amene ndimachita mantha ndikakambirana zovuta ndi mnzanga. Kuti kwinakwake pali anthu ambiri omwe amapewanso kuyankhula za izi, kubisala m'makutu awo ndikuyesa ngati zonse zili bwino. Mpaka iwo alowerere, ndiye.

Chikondi ndi maubwenzi nthawi zambiri sizikhala zosavuta, ndipo mwina mantha ndi kusadzidalira komwe timagawana ndizomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala anthu. Koma, kukhala osatetezeka, kupempha thandizo, kugwira ntchito pa nzeru zamaganizo muubwenzi ndikudzikhululukira tokha komanso anthu omwe timawakonda.

Palibe bukhu lopanda nzeru la momwe mungagonjetsere mantha mu maubwenzi chifukwa mwachisawawa, amakhala osokonekera komanso odzaza ndi zopinga zomwe zimangodikirira kuti tipite. Koma pamapeto pake, chikondi chimapangidwa kuti chiwonjezere ndi kukulitsa chisangalalo m'miyoyo yathu, pomwe chimatiphunzitsa maphunziro ochepa okhudza ife eni.

Kugwira ntchito paubwenzi wanu phobias, ziribe kanthu, kungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri, yachikondi kwambiri yomwe mumapanga kwa inu nokha ndi mnzanuyo. Chifukwa chake, chepetsani mtima wanu ndikudumphadumpha. Kapena mwina gawo laling'ono loyambalo. Chifukwa zonse zimaoneka ngati kulimba mtima.

Ibibazo

12 Zofunika Kwambiri Mu Ubale Kuti Ukhale Wosangalala Komanso Wokhalitsa Bond

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.