Kodi Zimakhala Bwanji Kuti Okwatirana Asakhale ndi Ana?

“Mu ufumu wina wakutali munali mfumukazi imene sinafune kukhala ndi ana.” Choncho inauza mfumuyo ndipo mfumuyo inamvetsa, ndipo anakhala mosangalala mpaka kalekale. Masiku angapo apitawo, ndinapeza nkhani yolimbikitsa ya Scoopwhoop yomwe inalemba mathero a nthano (monga zingwe ziwiri apa) za mkazi wamakono - ngati adazisankha. Koma sindinachite koma kudabwa - kodi izi zingasinthidwe kukhala zenizeni ku India? Kodi ndi bwino kukhala wopanda mwana modzifunira?

Kuyambira pachiyambi cha mbiri ya anthu, maudindo a amuna ndi akazi akhala akufotokozedwa kwa okwatirana. Amuna amagwira ntchito; akazi amabereka ana ndi kuwasamalira banja. Ndipo ichi chiyenera kukhala chinsinsi cha ukwati wachimwemwe ndi chitaganya chokhazikika. M’madera ena, mwachitsanzo m’magulu achikristu, pali mbali yaumulungu yowonjezeredwa ku kubalana. Amakhulupirira kuti cholinga chokha cha kulengedwa kwa anthu ndicho kubala ana ndi kuti mwana ndi mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu. Osaiwala, chikhulupiliro chakale padziko lonse lapansi - mphatso yayikulu kwambiri ya amayi ndi umayi, ndikuti kukhalapo kwake kumakhala kosakwanira popanda udindo wa mayi.

N’chifukwa chiyani maanja amasankha kukhala opanda ana?

Komabe, m'zaka za m'ma 21, zinthu zikusintha kwambiri, zikutengera kusintha kwa matanthauzidwe a umayi, ukwati, udindo wa amuna kapena akazi, komanso malingaliro osangalatsa aumwini ndi okwatirana. Masiku ano, mkazi wamakono saopa kufuna ufulu wake ndikutsimikizira chifuniro chake. Amagwira zingwe za moyo ndi thupi lake. Chosankha chimodzi chotere chochitidwa ndi akazi padziko lonse lapansi ndicho kukhala opanda mwana kapena 'kumasuka' monga momwe mawu amanenera. Mozizwitsa, akupeza chichirikizo cha amuna awo. Banja losangalala popanda ana n’lotheka.

"Ndimasankha lalanje chifukwa ndimakonda malalanje. Mumasankha apulo chifukwa mumakonda maapulo. Palibe chifukwa choganizira kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo ziyenera kukhala zabwino kuposa zanga," adatero Stone. Malalanje ndi osiyana ndi maapulo. Kukhala ndi ana ndi kosiyana ndi kusakhala ndi ana.

Tiyeni tiwone zina mwazifukwa zomwe maanja sakhala opanda ana mwa kusankha:

• Amagawana njira ya munthu payekha ya chimwemwe muukwati. Maanja amaona kuti akuyenera kuthera moyo wawo ndi wina ndi mzake komanso kudzikonda okha. Kubweretsa mwana kumatanthauza kugawikana kwa nthawi ndikudula gawo lazochita zaumwini (kwa akazi, tsatirani ntchito zawo). Kwa iwo, chimwemwe ndicho kukhala ndi wina ndi mnzake ndikuchita zomwe amakonda popanda kunyengerera wina aliyense
• Mabanja ena amaona kuti si makolo enieni. Mtundu wa chikondi chopanda dyera, kudzipereka, chikondi, ndi kudzipereka zofunika kulera mwana si kapu yawo ya tiyi.
• Kumbali ina, okwatirana amakhala ndi malingaliro opanda chiyembekezo - "ana amabweretsa zokhumudwitsa". Kotero, lamulo la golide kwa okwatirana awa - palibe zoyembekeza (kuchokera kwa ana), palibe zokhumudwitsa!
• Palinso mabanja ena amene ali ndi maganizo oteteza chilengedwe kuti dziko lapansi lalemedwa kale ndi ana opanda makolo. Nanga bwanji kuwonjezera pa chiwerengero cha anthu?
• Nthawi zina, kusankha kukhala wopanda mwana ndi kwa mkazi yekha. Mimba imabweretsa kusintha kwakukulu kwa thupi ndi maganizo. Osanenapo, kuchuluka kwa zowawa zomwe mkazi amakumana nazo panthawi yobereka. Choncho, atatha zaka zambiri akuvutika ndi ululu wamsambo, iye akuganiza zopewa ululu waukulu wa pobereka.
• Zinthu zina - maphunziro apamwamba, kuchepa kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu kuti abereke mwana, kulera kwapamwamba, ndi chithandizo cha NGOs ndi magulu othandizira ana.

Kuwerenga kofananira: Zochita zisanu ndi chimodzi kwa amayi omwe sakufuna ana

Ziwerengero za maanja opanda ana ku India komanso padziko lonse lapansi

Sipanakhalepo kafukufuku wokwanira wokhudza kuchuluka kwa kusabereka modzifunira ku India. Pano, kusabereka kapena zina zakuthupi, zamaganizo, zachikhalidwe kapena zachuma zikadali chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu za kusowa ana pakati pa okwatirana. Komabe, malinga ndi National Family Health Survey, 2007, kusowa kwa ana ku India akuti pafupifupi 2.5%, ndi 5.5% kwa amayi azaka 30-49 ndi 5.2% kwa zaka 45-49.

Pew Research Center, limodzi ndi gulu lowonjezera la Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey, laona mmene zinthu zilili padziko lonse pa nkhani ya kusowa ana. Chiwerengero cha amayi opanda ana padziko lonse lapansi azaka 40-44 chinakwera kufika pa 18% mu 2008 kuchoka pa 10% mu 1976.

Kafukufuku wochitidwa makamaka m’maiko otukuka ndi ku Ulaya akusonyeza kuti chiŵerengero cha amayi osankha kukhala opanda ana chikuwonjezereka. Amayi awa amagwera pansi pa gulu la anthu akumatauni komanso ophunzira.

Kodi moyo umakhala wotani kwa maanja opanda ana?

Moyo, pankhani ya okwatirana opanda ana, uli ngati makolo okwatirana, koma ndi sewero lochepa.
Ndikudziwa banja lina lomwe kale linali anansi anga. M'mbiri yanga yonse yowadziwa, zonse zomwe ndaziwona ndi moyo chisangalalo m'banja ndi chisangalalo. Panalibe chilichonse 'chachilendo' kapena 'chopanda kanthu' pa moyo wawo.

Mkazi wake ankakonda kuphika ndi kuyesa mbale ndipo ankapereka ma tiffin m’deralo. Mwamunayo anali wofufuza za nyama ndipo ankafuna kupita kudziko lina tsiku lina. Onse awiri ankayesetsa kusunga ndalama. Pokhala okondedwa aubwana, nthawi zonse ankawoneka kuti ali angwiro wina ndi mzake. Anagwira ntchito molimbika kwa masiku asanu ndipo kumapeto kwa sabata amapita kukacheza panjinga yawo.

Patha zaka zambiri ndipo zithunzi ndi nkhani zawo za Facebook zimakhalabe chimodzimodzi - okondwa komanso okhutira.

Chifukwa chake, uwu uyenera kukhala moyo wa banja lililonse lopanda mwana -

1. Kukhala moyo wopanda zolemetsa zamalingaliro, zakuthupi, kapena zachuma pobereka ndi kulera mwana
2. Kukhala mbuye wa nthawi yake
3. Kukhala ndi thanzi labwino komanso chuma
4. Kukhutitsidwa poyang'ana pa kukula kwaumwini, zachuma ndi maganizo
5. Kuthamangitsa maloto anu, kaya paulendo kapena kuphika

Pomaliza, palibe kusweka mtima, kudziimba mlandu, mkwiyo kapena kusagona usiku ndi usana chifukwa cha satana yemwe amatchedwa 'mwana'.

Koma moyo si nthawi zonse wadzuwa kwa okwatirana opanda ana. Nthaŵi zina, amalipira mtengo wa zosankha zawo.

Mavuto omwe anthu okwatirana opanda ana amakumana nawo

Sizobisika kuti malingaliro aku India amalingalira ndikuganiziranso chisankho chilichonse chofunikira pa moyo wawo potengera zomwe akuti - Log Kya Kahenge kapena anthu anena chiyani? M’dziko limene kusangalatsa anthu kaŵirikaŵiri kumaonedwa kukhala kofunika kwambiri kuposa chimwemwe chaumwini, okwatirana opanda ana amakhala ndi nthaŵi yovuta kumamatira ku chosankha chawo.

Pansipa pali zovuta zisanu ndi chimodzi zomwe maanja amakumana nazo:

1. Chiweruzo cha ena: Singano yoyamba ndiyomwe mosakayikira zigamulo zaulere zomwe zimaperekedwa kuchokera kwa aunty ammudzi kupita kwa anzawo kuntchito kwa abwenzi ndi abale kunyumba. Aliyense wa iwo amanena kuti ndi kulakwa kwakukulu ndipo tsiku lina adzanong’oneza bondo. Amalankhula mobisa ndi kupanga zongopeka za moyo wa maanjawo.
2. Kunyoza: Miseche ndi kutukwana n’zofala. Akazi amanenedwa kuti 'osabereka', 'ankhanza' ndi 'achilendo' pamene amuna amanyozedwa ngati 'opanda mphamvu'. Okwatirana opanda ana amawalingalira kukhala otembereredwa. Iwo akuimbidwa mlandu wa hedonists ndi egoists. Mabanja nthawi zonse amavutika m'maganizo. Zimakhudzanso thanzi lawo.
3. Kusalidwa pagulu: Banja limaonedwa kuti ndilo gawo lalikulu la anthu. Chotero, pamene okwatirana asankha kukhala opanda ana, limakhala vuto lalikulu lachiyanjano osati laumwini. Amatengedwa ngati opotoka omwe akusokoneza bata. Mabanjawa amasalidwa komanso kusalidwa. Pomaonedwa kukhala chisonkhezero choipa, kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu kumakhala chopinga chachikulu.

1. Kusalidwa ndi akatswiri: Pamlingo wovuta kwambiri, amayi omwe amasankha kusakhala ndi ana amatengedwa ngati munthu yemwe sanakule ndi kuphunzira. Chifukwa umayi amaonedwa ngati mbali ya kukhwima ndi kuphunzira. Pamlingo wina, amawonedwa ngati wosakhoza. Amuna nawonso amakumana ndi malingaliro olakwika ngati ofooka kapena osatheka chifukwa amavomerezana ndi akazi awo.
2. Kusamalira mu ukalamba: Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mantha omwe amalepheretsa maanja okwatirana aku India kukhala opanda ana. Palibe magulu okhudzana ndi anthu kapena omenyera ufulu wokwanira kapena mabungwe omwe siaboma ku India omwe amapereka zithandizo zothandizira anthu monga National Alliance for Optional Parenthood ndi No Kidding! Ku North America.
3. Kusagwirizana m'banja: Ngakhale maanjawo amakhala opanda ana mwakufuna kwawo, pamakhala chiwopsezo chokhazikika pa ubale wawo. Ofooka m'malingaliro amasokonekera ndipo sangachitire mwina koma kuyankha mafunso omwe adzutsidwa ndi anthu. Chotero chochititsa chenicheni cha chimwemwe chimakhala magwero a kupanda chimwemwe pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake, kumatsogolera ku kusinthasintha kwa maganizo, mikangano ndipo mu mkhalidwe woipitsitsa, chisudzulo.

Pomaliza, pamene kuli kwakuti anthu ophunzira, a m’tauni ayamba kuvomereza maukwati opanda ana, palibe kuvomereza kwapadziko lonse ndi kwachigwirizano ndi dziko lonse.

Kodi okwatirana opanda ana amasudzulana?

Kupanda ana kwalingaliridwa kukhala chosonkhezera pamilandu yachisudzulo ku India, malinga ndi ziŵerengero zofalitsidwa mu Livemint. Limanena kuti akazi opanda ana ali ndi mwayi wotha kutha kuwirikiza kakhumi kuposa akazi amene ali ndi mwana mmodzi.

Ku US, kafukufuku akutsimikizira kuti chiŵerengero cha kusudzulana kwa okwatirana opanda ana nchoposa cha makolo. Ngakhale 66% alibe ana, 40% omwe amasudzulana ali ndi ana. Koma pakhalanso zochitika za mabanja achimwemwe, monga momwe mlembi Laura Carroll ananenera, “Ndakhala ndikuyang’anira anthu opanda ana kwa zaka zoposa 10 tsopano, ndipo ndikuwona okwatirana ambiri achimwemwe opanda ana kunjako.”

Wolemba mabuku wina dzina lake Laura S. Scott, yemwe ndi mkulu wa bungwe lotchedwa Childless by Choice Project, ananena kuti: “Anthu amaganiza kuti ana ndi amene amathandiza kuti banja likhale logwirizana, zomwe n’zopanda chilungamo. Ana amakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri.

Ndi chowonadi chapadziko lonse kuti zinthu zikasokonekera, chinthu chokhacho chomwe chimapangitsa okwatirana kulimbikitsa ubale wawo ndi ana. Ndipo ngati zimenezi sizipezeka kwa anthu okwatirana opanda ana, zisudzulo zimatha kuchitika.

Kodi okwatirana opanda ana amakhala osangalala kuposa makolo?

Chimwemwe ndi mkhalidwe wamalingaliro kuposa mkhalidwewo. Palibe muyezo woyezera chisangalalo cha maanja opanda ana omwe amatsutsana ndi makolo.

Lipoti la University of Princeton ndi Stony Brook University lofalitsidwa mu Proceedings of the National Academy of Science linapeza kusiyana kochepa pankhani ya chikhutiro cha moyo pakati pa makolo ndi okwatirana opanda ana pamene zinthu zina monga thanzi, maphunziro, chipembedzo, ndi zina zotero, zinatulutsidwa. Wolemba nawo mnzake Arthur Stone adalongosola poyankhulana kuti kukhala wopanda mwana kapena makolo ndi chisankho chaumwini. Ndi mitundu iwiri yosiyana ya moyo ndipo sitingafanane nayo.

"Ndimasankha malalanje chifukwa ndimakonda malalanje. Mumasankha apulo chifukwa mumakonda maapulo. Palibe chifukwa choganizira kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo ziyenera kukhala zabwino kuposa zanga," adatero Stone. Malalanje ndi osiyana ndi maapulo. Kukhala ndi ana ndi kosiyana ndi kusakhala ndi ana.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupita patsogolo ndikusankha kusakhala ndi ana ndiye kuti palibe chomwe chingakulepheretseni. Palibe cholakwika chilichonse kapena chodzikonda pa chisankho chotere. Kubereka mwana nthawi zonse ndi chikondi chopanda dyera. Umapanga mwana chifukwa umafunadi! Osati chifukwa aliyense akuchita izo.

Ndipo pobwera ku funso lalikulu la 'chisangalalo', mutha kupanga dziko lanu losangalala. Ndikutsimikiza kupanga makanda si njira yokhayo!

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