Momwe Mungasungire Ubale Wamoyo Pambuyo pa Mwana?

Mukudabwa momwe mungasungire ubale wolimba mutakhala ndi mwana? Osadandaula, mwafika pamalo abwino kuti muthane ndi vuto lanu. Kaŵirikaŵiri anthu amalakwitsa kuyesa kukhala ndi khanda pamene chibwenzicho chikulephereka ndi chiyembekezo chakuti “chidzapulumutsa” ukwati wawo. Koma okwatirana amene ali ndi ana amadziŵa kuti kuphunzira kukhalabe ndi moyo pachibwenzi pambuyo pa khanda kungakhale kovuta kuposa kulera yekha mwanayo.

Kudyetsa, kuyeretsa, kuchapa zovala ndi ntchito zina zapakhomo zimatengera nthawi yanu yonse, ndipo kusunga chikondi kukhala chamoyo muubwenzi kumatenga kumbuyo. Izi ndi zomwe zimapha mabanja. Anthu okwatirana amene amaiwala kukambirana ndi kucheza ndi anzawo amatalikirana, ngakhale kuti amakhala pansi pa denga limodzi ndi kusamalira mwana yemweyo. Osatinso pano. M’nkhaniyi, tiona njira zosiyanasiyana zochitira kuti ubwenzi ukhale wolimba mukabereka mwana.

Njira Zosungira Ubale Wamoyo Pambuyo pa Mwana

Kodi mumasunga bwanji ubale wanu ukakhala ndi mwana? Yambani ndi zinthu zazing'ono - kuphika chakudya chomwe mnzanu amakonda, valani zovala zabwino, pezani njira zachikondi zolandirira mwamuna wanu kunyumba mutatha tsiku lalitali kapena kupangitsa mkazi wanu kumva kuti ndi wapadera kumapeto kwa tsiku lalitali komanso lotopetsa, ndi zina zotero. Ndikofunikira kuti musanyalanyaze gawo la 'chikondi' la ubalewu, chifukwa likavuta, zimakhala zovuta kubwerera momwe zinthu zinalili kale.

Ubale pambuyo pa mwana umakhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa makolo ambiri. Chofunika kwambiri chimakhala kachidutswa kakang'ono ka moyo komwe inu nonse mwabweretsa padziko lino lapansi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake funso la momwe mungasungire ubale wolimba pambuyo pobereka mwana limakhala lofunika kwambiri. Mukakhala kuti mulibe nkhawa kwambiri ndi chinthu, nthawi zambiri ndipamene chimakusiyani kumbuyo. Musalole kuti ubale wanu ukhale chinthu chimodzi chotere.

Ngati zinthu izi sizikukuthandizani, musadandaule. Siziyenera kugwira ntchito kwa aliyense. M'malo mwake, pezani njira zanu zoyatsira ubale wanu pambuyo pa mwana nthawi isanathe.

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Nthawi inadutsa mwana wathu woyamba

6:00 am Kapu yotentha ya tiyi ya ginger. Kuzizira kwa December kukuyamba, ngakhale titaphimbidwa ndi mabulangete, tikumangirira pampando umodzi pakhonde. Kukambirana kosangalatsa. Kuseka mwadzidzidzi. Ndipo mosayembekezereka, kuzindikira kosangalatsa!

Patatha zaka zinayi, zonsezi zikuonekera bwino ngati kuwala kwa dzuwa m'maganizo mwanga. Nthawi imene ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinazindikira - pamene tinali titakhala pamenepo, tikusangalala ndi tiyi wathu ndikukambirana chilichonse - iyi inali nthawi yoyamba m'miyezi ingapo kuti tinali tokha, tikusangalala pamene tikuyesera kupeza zinthu zachikondi zoti tikambirane. Panalibe china choti tichitirepo kanthu, panthawiyo, tinali awiri okha, tikusangalala kukhala limodzi.

Tinali ndi mwana wathu woyamba mu August. Miyezi isanu kuchokera pamenepo idawoneka kuti yadutsa mwachangu. Zomwe zinandidabwitsa, chifukwa chodabwitsa, zonse zomwe ndidachita m'miyezi imeneyo zinali namwino, kusamba, kusintha matewera kenako namwino. Ndipo komabe, ngakhale ndi mbiri yochepa ya ntchitoyo, nthawi zonse ndinkangokhalira kukhumudwa komanso kuzunzidwa. Ziribe kanthu momwe ndinayesera, kunali kosatheka kupeza nthawi yanga ndekha. Ndiye ngati mukuda nkhawa kuti simutha kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri ndi mnzanu, zili bwino.

Dziwani kuti gawo ili lidzakudutsani posachedwa, ngakhale sizikuwoneka choncho pakali pano. Apanso, mudzakhala ndi nthawi ya inu nokha, ya mnzanuyo, ya zinthu zonse zomwe mumakonda kuchita limodzi kapena nokha.

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Ubale unatikhudza kwambiri

Ndiroleni ndifotokoze kaye za mbiri yakale. Tonse awirife tinali titataya amayi athu zaka zapitazo. Sitinayembekezere kuti abambo athu angasinthe moyo wawo kuti atithandize ndi mwanayo. Ndipo kale kwambiri tisanaganize zokhala ndi mwana, tinali titaletsa kuti msungwanayo asamalowererepo. Choncho, polowa, tinadziwa bwino kuti kudzakhala ‘ife tokha’ kulera mwanayo. Ndipo zinkawoneka bwino.

Ndisanasiye ntchito chifukwa cha mimba yanga, ndinali kuyang'anira gulu la anthu oposa 80. Mwamuna wanga anali ndi zaka khumi akugwira ntchito. Kodi mwana wolemera makilogalamu awiri angatiponyere chiyani chomwe sitingathe kuchipirira, tinadzifunsa? Palibe chomwe tinaganiza mopusa. Sitinkayembekezera mavuto onse a m'banja titakhala ndi mwana amene angabwere.

Ndiyeno umakolo unatigunda. Ndipo zinatikhudza kwambiri. Tinagwidwa mumsewu wa matewera ndi zakudya ndi nthawi zogona ndi nthawi zosamba komanso ndondomeko ya katemera. Ndipo mosasamala kanthu za kuŵerenga, kufufuza ndi kukonzekera, zinatitengera miyezi ingapo kuti tipeze miyendo yathu ya m’nyanja. Kukhalabe ndi moyo waukwati sikunatiwoneke ngati chinthu chodetsa nkhaŵa panthawiyo. Koma posakhalitsa zimenezi zingadzutse mavuto m’banja mwathu, kunyalanyazana kumene tinasonyezana kungabwerenso kudzatiluma.

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Tinakhala makolo tisanakhale okondana

Pakufuna kukhala makolo angwiro, tinayiwala kotheratu kuti tinali chinthu chinanso, osati kale kwambiri: banja. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amene amakhoza kukambitsirana osati kokha ponena za mwana wathu, amene anathera nthaŵi pamodzi osati kungogundana pafupi ndi mnzake usiku uliwonse mopupuluma “Usiku wabwino ndipo ndimakukondani.” Mwinamwake mudakumanapo (kapena mukukumana) zofanana ndi chifukwa chake mukufuna kudziwa yankho la momwe mungasungire ubale wolimba mutakhala ndi mwana.

Tinkadziwa kuti tinali tokha mu izi, popanda thandizo lililonse. Koma ndithudi sizinali kumverera ngati ife tinali mu izi limodzi. Kusinthasintha nthawi yathu ndi khanda kuti kholo lina lipeze nthawi yopumula kuti ligone mwamsanga kapena kusamba momasuka kunkatanthauza kuti achite opaleshoni yosinthana masinthidwe. Ndinayamba kumva kuti mwamuna wanga amandinyalanyaza nditabereka mwana. Ndine wotsimikiza kuti zinali zofanana kwa iyenso.

Sitinadziwe kuti tinkachita zinthu zonse zomwe zimapha chikondi muubwenzi . Tinali ngati antchito awiri a kampani yomwe imagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana; kugwedeza mutu m'khonde, kumwetulira m'chipinda chodyera - tinkakhala limodzi koma sitinkalankhulana bwino. Apa ndi pomwe mavuto onse a ubale wathu titabereka mwana anayamba. Kusowa kwa mgwirizano kunatipha chikondi chathu ndi ubale wathu, chifukwa tinkaganizira kwambiri za moyo waung'ono uwu, kotero kuti tinaiwala za moyo wina womwe tinkakhala nawo.

Tinaganiza zogwira ntchito limodzi

Mwamwayi, sizinayambe kusokoneza ubale wathu mpaka pano. Koma mavuto a m'banja amenewa titabereka mwana akanakhala kuti sitinazindikire pakapita nthawi. Lingaliroli linatidetsa nkhawa kwambiri. Koma kodi tingachite chiyani? Sizinkaoneka ngati tidzakhala ndi ulamuliro pa moyo wathu kwa zaka zingapo, mpaka mwanayo atakula pang'ono. Aliyense wa ife ankada nkhawa nazo, ngakhale kuti sitinanene zambiri. Kodi ukwati wathu ungavutike chifukwa choti tsopano ndife makolo? Ndinayamba kufunafuna njira zobwezeretsera ubale wanga ndi mwamuna wanga nditabereka mwana.

M'mawa mwake, mwamuna wanga adandidzutsanso 6 koloko. Anayimilira pafupi ndi bedi ndi makapu awiri a tiyi komanso kumwetulira kosonyeza kuti sakufuna. Tiyi, bulangeti, mpando waung'ono, ndi ola limodzi kuti mwanayo adzuke posakhalitsa zinakhala zochita zathu za tsiku ndi tsiku. Malo othaŵirako banja limene linasochera kwa kanthaŵi m’njira yolerera ana. Ndipo pomwepo idayima yankho langa ku funso la momwe mungakometse moyo wanu wachikondi mutakhala ndi mwana. Pochitirana manja ang’onoang’ono.

Siziyenera kutenga nthawi yambiri, koma ziyenera kukhala zokwanira kusonyeza kuyamikira kwathu. N’kutheka kuti mwina mumamva kuti mwamuna wanu akukunyalanyazani mutakhala ndi mwana. N’kutheka kuti mwamuna wanunso amamva chimodzimodzi. Ndipo njira yokhayo yochitira zimenezo ndi kuti nonse mugwire ntchito yothandiza kumanga ubale wanu.

Tinayamba kusonyezana chikondi kwambiri

Madzulo, ngakhale ndinali wotopa chotani, ndinkakhala kuti ndisamacheze mwamuna wanga pa chakudya chamadzulo. Kenako tinayamba kutumizirana mameseji maola angapo aliwonse, zomwe sindikukumbukira tikuchita kuyambira titakwatirana. Loweruka usiku unali usiku wa mpikisano wamakanema okhazikika titagoneka mwana wathu, mwambo womwe ukupitilirabe mpaka pano. Lamlungu linakhala masiku 'osaphika' kotero kuti mwamuna wanga akakhala kunyumba tsiku lonse, ndisamataye nthawi yanga kukhitchini. Ndipo umu ndi momwe mungakometse moyo wanu wachikondi mutakhala ndi mwana, polemekezana wina ndi mnzake.

Ndinadzipeza ndikuonera maseŵera ndi mwamuna wanga, zimene ndinali ndisanachitepo. Ndipo ankangokhalira ku khichini ine ndikuphika kapena kutsuka mbale. Ife, mwa njira zathu zing'onozing'ono, tinali kuyesa kugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi yaing'ono 'yopanda ana' yomwe tinali nayo. Choncho ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungasungire ubwenzi wolimba mutakhala ndi mwana, tsatirani malangizo anga ndipo yambani kusonyeza chikondi chanu kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kwinaku mukumulimbikitsa mokoma mtima kuti achitenso chimodzimodzi.

• Mayamiko ndi Zitsimikizo: Tinakhala ndi chizolowezi chovomerezana ndi kuyamikirana ndi mawu enieni.
• Chikondi Chathupi: Manja osavuta monga kukumbatirana, kugwirana chanza, ndi kupsompsona kunakhala kaŵirikaŵiri ndi kutanthauzo.
• Kugwiritsa Ntchito Nthawi Yabwino: Tinkaika patsogolo nthawi yocheza pamodzi mosadodometsedwa, kaya ndi chakudya, kuyenda, kapena kungolankhula.
• Ntchito Zachifundo: Zochita zazing'ono, zolingalira, monga kupanga chakudya chomwe timachikonda kapena kuthandiza ndi ntchito inayake, zidakhala njira yathu yosonyezera chisamaliro.
• Kusonyeza Kuyamikira: Tinayamba kuthokoza wina ndi mzake chifukwa cha zinthu zazing'ono, kulimbikitsa kuyamikira ndi kugwirizana.

Tinatenga pang'onopang'ono

Kumbukirani kuti kuzindikira sikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuchita zinthu mwachangu ndi kupangitsa zinthu kukhala zovuta kwambiri. Tinayambanso kuyandikirana m'chipinda chogona, koma chinali chinthu chochedwa komanso chosafulumira. Sikuti tinali kufuna dala zimenezo, koma chifukwa tinkaona nthawi yathu limodzi kukhala yofunika kwambiri kuposa zomwe tinachita. Choncho samalani ndi maganizo a mnzanu, ndipo musayese kuchita zinthu mwachangu kuposa momwe zinthu zimafunira.

Mabanja ena amatha kukhala ndi mwana posachedwapa muubwenzi zomwe zingachepetse ubwenzi wawo. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kuti mugwiritse ntchito, koma poyambira ndi manja pang'ono kuti zinthu zikhale zosavuta. Simukufuna kulowa m'mavuto ambiri am'banja mutabereka mwana. Njira yabwino ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa zomwe wokondedwa wanu akufunikira kuchokera kwa inu ndikupanga malo okondana ndi kulemekezana.

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Kuonana mtima n’kofunika kwambiri

Izi zitha kuwoneka ngati upangiri wamba, koma kusunga zinthu momasuka komanso moona mtima pakati pa nonse ndi gawo lofunikira kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi ubale wolimba. Ubwenzi wanga ndi mwamuna nditakhala ndi mwana unakula kwambiri nditayamba kufotokoza zakukhosi nthawi zonse. Kudyetsa khanda kunkatanthauza kuti nthawi zambiri sindinkakonda kukhudzidwa ndi wina aliyense ndipo ndinamuuza choncho. Anali womvetsetsa kwambiri ndi kuvomereza zosowa zanga, ndipo izi zinathandizanso kumanga ubale wabwino pakati pathu.

Kukhala ndi mwana msanga muubwenzi kungayambitse mavuto ena pankhani yolankhulana ndi kugwirizana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zofunika kwambiri kukhala oona mtima kwa wina ndi mnzake. Pokhapokha pofotokoza zomwe mukuchita ndi pomwe mungamuthandize winayo kumvetsetsa malingaliro anu ndikuyamikira bwino. Ngati mukufuna kumvetsetsa momwe mungasungire ubale wolimba mutakhala ndi mwana, kambiranani.

Posakhalitsa tinamva kuti kupezanso ubale wa mwamuna ndi mkazi womwe tinataya kwa kanthawi kochepa, kunatithandiza kukhala makolo abwino. Chimene chikanatha kuopseza banja lathu chinakhala mgwirizano wamphamvu kwambiri pakati pathu - mwana wathu, ndikumulera pamodzi ngati munthu mmodzi. Tinaphunzira momwe tingasungire ubale wolimba titabereka mwana pamene tikugwira ntchito, ntchito zapakhomo komanso kuchita ubereki wokha. Kodi sichoncho chomwe ukwati umatanthauza?

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Kubweretsa mwana m'moyo wanu ndi kusintha kosangalatsa koma kovuta. N'zosavuta kuti maanja azimva kuti ali otopa kapena osagwirizana pakati pa zovuta za makolo. Komabe, kusunga ubale wabwino n'kotheka ndikulankhulana momasuka, maudindo ofanana, komanso kuyesetsa mwakhama kuti mukhale ndi ubale wapamtima. Kumbukirani, kuika patsogolo ubale wanu si kudzikonda—ndikofunikira kuti mupange malo achikondi komanso othandizira mwana wanu. Alangizi athu ndi akatswiri othandiza maanja kuthana ndi mavuto a makolo pamene akusunga ubale wabwino komanso wachikondi.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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