12 Malangizo Kukhala Bwino Amayi Osakwatiwa

Kodi mungakhale bwanji mayi wolera yekha ana? Ili ndi funso lomwe ndimafunsidwa nthawi zambiri popeza ndili m'modzi. Ndili ndi pakati pa miyezi 6 ndi mwana wanga, ndinapita kukaona mnzanga amene anali atangobereka kumene. Ndinali wofunitsitsa kudziŵa mmene zimakhalira kukhala mayi, ndipo ndi zinthu ziti zimene muyenera kuchita kuti mayambiriro anu a umayi akhale osavuta?

Mnzangayo anati: “Zimamveka ngati mphepo yamkuntho yakugundani.

Patangotha ​​miyezi itatu, mwana wanga atabadwa, ndinazindikira kuti sakanatha kufotokoza bwino mmene umayi umakukhudzirani. Ndinazindikira kuti kukhala mayi mwina ndi ntchito yovuta kwambiri yomwe ndakhala ndikuchitapo ndipo patha zaka khumi kuchokera pamenepo.

Sindinasinthe maganizo anga okhudza umayi ngakhale kuti ntchito imeneyi ndi yokhutiritsa kwambiri. Pa nthawiyi, ndinasudzulana ndipo ndinakhala mayi wopanda mwamuna ndipo ndinaphunzira zonse zokhudza kusamalira mwana ndekha.

Ndili ndi anzanga, omwe amakhala amayi olera ana olera ana olera ana olera ana, kudzera mu IVF ndi ena kudzera mu chisudzulo kapena imfa yamwadzidzidzi ya mnzanga ndipo ndikudziwa bwino lomwe kuti kulera kumakhala kovuta bwanji ngati mukuchita nokha.

Sikwapafupi kupirira kukhala mayi wolera yekha ana makamaka ngati wina ali wosakwatiwa amene ali ndi mavuto a zachuma koma akazi amapeza njira. Mayi anga anzanga akuchita ntchito yodabwitsa kwambiri.

Nditawafunsa momwe amayendetsera ntchito zambiri, kupsinjika maganizo, kudziimba mlandu, adandipatsa malingaliro awo momwe angakhalire mayi wopambana. Ine ndimawatsatira iwo mwakhama.

12 Malangizo Kukhala Bwino Amayi Osakwatiwa

Malinga ndi lipoti la UN (2019-2020) , m'maiko 89 padziko lonse lapansi, mabanja okwana 101.3 miliyoni ndi omwe amayi okha amakhala ndi ana awo.

Kukhala mayi wosakwatiwa kwayamba kukhala chizolowezi padziko lonse lapansi, ndipo tili ndi amayi otchuka ochita bwino osakwatiwa ku Hollywood monga Halle Berry, Katie Holmes ndi Angelina Jolie komanso mu Bollywood amayi monga Sushmita Sen ndi Ekta Kapoor akuwonetsa njira kudzera munkhani zawo zolimbikitsa.

Masiku anonso pali abambo omwe akulera okha ana, kulera ana, kusudzulana ndi kumwalira kwa mnzako koma kuchuluka kwawo kumachepa. Mu ziwerengero za single mother vs single father, ndi amayi omwe amapambana chala chachikulu.

Pafupifupi 80 peresenti ya makolo olera okha ana ndi akazi, ndipo abambo osakwatiwa amayendetsa nyumba zina 9 mpaka 25 peresenti.
Choncho palibe kutsutsa mfundo yakuti kukhala mayi wosakwatiwa kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri. Kuchokera pakukhala nokha pazachuma mpaka kukhala nangula wamalingaliro kwa ana, ndi ntchito yovuta kwambiri kuti akazi azikhala pa 24 × 7.

Kodi mayi amene akulera yekha ana angalere bwino mwana? Inde, ana oleredwa ndi kholo limodzi kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala achipambano mofanana ndi ana okhala ndi makolo onse aŵiri.

Kafukufuku wina wasonyeza kuti amayi osakwatiwa omwe ali ndi digiri ya maphunziro apamwamba ali ndi ana omwe amakwaniritsanso madigiri otere. Ndiye mungakhale bwanji mayi wosakwatiwa wopambana? Tikukuuzani njira 12 zomwe mungathanirane nazo.

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1. Zopereka za mwana zilidi zofunika

Monga amayi, nthawi zonse timakonda kuchitira ana athu zinthu. Angamve ngati akudya chakudya cham'mawa pabedi, ndipo timakonda kuwasangalatsa chifukwa cha chikondi, osaganizira za zotsatirapo zowononga m'kupita kwanthawi.

Kodi kukhala mayi wopambana popanda thandizo? Amayi osakwatiwa ayenera kupangitsa mwana kuzindikira kuti amayi ali ndi zambiri m'manja mwawo, kaya kunyumba kapena kuntchito. Popeza akuchita zonse payekha thandizo laling'ono kuchokera kwa ana awo ndilofunika kwambiri.

Mwana ayenera kuthandizira kuti chiwonetserochi chiziyenda bwino, ndipo zomwe mwanayo angapereke ndizofunikira.

Ziyenera kukhala ngati mgwirizano osati ubale wa mwana ndi kholo womwe ungamupangitse mwanayo kukhala wodalirika, wodziyimira pawokha ndipo angaganize kuti banja silingayende bwino pokhapokha ngati ali ndi mgwirizano ndi amayi ake.

Choncho kukamba za chopereka cha mwana pochita ntchito zapakhomo, kuthandiza m’khichini kapena kuyeretsa alendowo atapita, kungawapangitse kuti akule ndi lingaliro lofunika ndi kudzimva kuti iwo ali gudumu.

2. Zeze za kufunika kwa ndalama

Mungakhale mayi wolera yekha amene akuchita bwino ngati mungamuthandize mwana wanu kumvetsetsa kuti ufulu wanu pazachuma umabwera chifukwa chogwira ntchito mwakhama. Amayi olera okha nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mavuto azachuma ndipo ayenera kuphunzitsa ana awo kuti aziona ndalama kukhala zofunika kwambiri.

Ndalama zomwe zapezedwa sizingatayidwe motere. Ngati mungathe kupangitsa mwana wanu kulemekeza malipiro omwe amayendetsa pakhomo, theka la ntchito yanu yatha.

Mukulera mwana yemwe angamvetse kufunika kwa ndalama, angadziwe momwe kusunga ndi kusunga ndalama zingakuthandizireni pa moyo wanu.

Kotero pamene ana a zaka za m'ma 20 akuthamanga panjinga ndi zovala zodziwika bwino, mwana yemwe waleredwa ndi mayi wosakwatiwa ndipo amamvetsa kufunika kwa ndalama wayamba kale kupulumutsa mwanzeru.

3. Khalani ndi zomangira zamagulu

Kukhala mayi wosakwatiwa sikutanthauza kupulumuka ngati chilumba. Mayi amene akulera yekha ana amafunikira kugwirizana kwambiri ndi anzake ndi achibale kuti mwana aphunzire kufunika kwa maubwenzi ndi kugwirizana.

Pokhapokha ngati akukhala m’banja lalikulu ndi agogo, ana amene amakula ndi amayi olera okha ana saona mgwirizano wa makolo.

Chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kukulitsa maubwenzi kupitilira banja lapafupi la awiriwo ndikuphatikiza mwana mu maubwenzi amenewa pokonzekera kukumana ndi macheza.

Ngati ndi banja la kholo limodzi pambuyo pa chisudzulo, ndiye kuti polera limodzi ndi bambo kapena pamene akubwera kudzacheza, ndikofunikira kusunga mtendere kuti mwanayo asakule pakati pa udani uliwonse.

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4. Pangani malire ndi ana anu

Malire ndi ofunikira paubwenzi uliwonse. Kaya ndi ubale wapamtima pakati pa anthu awiri okwatirana, ubale ndi apongozi kapena ndi abwenzi, malire amathandiza kwambiri kuti ubale ukhale wabwino.

Dziwani mphamvu zonena kuti "ayi" ndipo ana amatha kukunyengererani ndikukupotozani ndikukukhumudwitsani, ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe musagwedezeke.

Ngati mutha kukhazikitsa malire ndi ana anu ndiye kuti m'malo momangokhalira kukunyengererani ndikukulimbikitsani kuti muwachitire zabwino iwo akudziwa kuyambira pomwe angajambule mzere.

Iwo angadziwe zomwe sizingatheke ndipo sakanazifunsa nkomwe. Kukhazikitsa malire kumathandiza kulera akuluakulu ochita bwino chifukwa mu maubwenzi awo akuluakulu amalemekeza malire, ndipo mumadzigwedeza nokha chifukwa chokhala mayi wopambana.

5. Khalani ndi tabu pa mwana wanu

Sitikukuuzani kuti muzichita bwino polera ana a helikopita, koma zimathandiza ngati mungathe kudziwa amene mwana wanu akukumana naye pa intaneti komanso m'moyo weniweni, banja la mabwenzi omwe akukumana nawo pafupi komanso zomwe akuchita kusukulu?

Tikudziwa kuti izi zitha kukhala zovuta chifukwa mukulera nokha, koma izi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti mulere mwana wabwino.

Makolo ambiri anadandaula kuti ana awo ayamba kuseŵera maseŵera kapena kucheza ndi anzawo amene amagwiritsira ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Ngati musunga tabu, mutha kuthana ndi zovuta mu bud. Amayi omwe akulera okha ana amachita bwino pa izi - ndi zomwe mumatcha kulera mwanzeru.

6. Khalani ndi ndandanda

Ana amagwira ntchito bwino kwambiri pakatha nthawi. Popeza ndinu mayi wosakwatiwa, muyenera kusamala kwambiri kuti musamachite ndandanda.

Ngati ikupita haywire, muyenera kuchita kuwirikiza kawiri ntchito kuti mubwererenso mu dongosolo. Monga kholo lokhalokha limasewera, ndandanda ya ntchito, ya kunyumba ndi ya ana ndi yovuta kwambiri, ndipo mungangomva ngati mukuwalola kuwonera TV kupyola nthawi yogona kotero kuti mutha kumasuka pabedi kwa kanthawi.

Peŵani kuchita zimenezo chifukwa mwamsanga mwana azindikira kuti amayi sali wozama chotero ponena za ndandanda; ndiye mwakhala nazo. Amayesa kufinya nthawi ya TV nthawi zonse zomwe simungafune kuzigwira.

Amayi osakwatiwa, omwe atha kumamatira ku ndandanda, alera ana opambana.

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7. Lemekezani zachinsinsi chanu

Amayi osakwatiwa amanena kuti popeza m'nyumba ya kholo limodzi, ubale pakati pa mayi ndi mwana ndi wolimba kwambiri, nthawi zambiri mwanayo amakana kuvomereza kuti mayiyo angakhale ndi moyo wachinsinsi kuposa iwowo.

Chifukwa chake kutenga foni yam'manja kuti muwone mameseji, kuyankha mafoni kapena kufunsa mosalekeza, "Mukulankhula ndi ndani pafoni?" akhoza kukhala makhalidwe ovomerezeka ngati sanachitidwe bwino.

Mwanayo ayenera kuphunzitsidwa kufunika kokhala payekha komwe kumaphatikizapo makhalidwe monga kugogoda pakhomo, kusayang'ana foni ya amayi kapena kusalowa m'chipinda ndi bwenzi kapena wachibale.

Amayi osakwatiwa nawonso akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi . Ana ayenera kuzindikira zimenezo ndikuwapatsa mpata.

Kodi mungakhale bwanji mayi wolera yekha ana? Phunzitsani mwana wanu kufunikira kwachinsinsi, ndipo kudzakhala kudumpha kwakukulu kwa kupambana kwawo kwamtsogolo.

8. Achimuna achitsanzo

Mwana amene amakula ndi mayi saganizira kwambiri za amuna. Nthaŵi zina makolo akalekana pambuyo pa kusudzulana, amakula ndi malingaliro opotoka ponena za amuna.

Choncho ndikofunika kukhala ndi zitsanzo zabwino za amuna omwe angawapatse lingaliro loyenera la momwe amuna alili komanso chofunika kwambiri, omwe ali amuna "abwino".

Mchimwene wanu, abambo, anzanu apamtima atha kukhala ngati chitsanzo chabwino chachimuna. Limbikitsani mwana wanu kuti azicheza nawo ndikuchita zinthu za mnyamatayo zomwe zingakhale kupita kumalo otchedwa bowling kapena kuwonera masewera a cricket pamodzi.

Zimenezi zidzathandiza kwambiri pakukula bwino maganizo kwa mwana wanu.

9. Sungani kutali zida zamagetsi

Izi ndi zoona paubwenzi uliwonse koma zimagwiranso ntchito kwambiri paubwenzi wa mayi ndi mwana chifukwa muyenera kuwasamalira kwambiri. Yesetsani kupewa zipangizo zamagetsi mukafika kunyumba.

Tengani kuyimbira foni kuntchito kapena uthenga wanthawi zonse koma musamangokhalira kukakamira chida chanu ngati kuti moyo wanu umadalira zimenezo. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire bwino pakulera ana okha.

Lingaliro labwino lingakhale kuzimitsa foni yam'manja mukafika kunyumba. Sungani foni yam'nyumba ndikupereka nambala kwa oyandikana nawo.

Muzipeza nthawi yocheza ndi mwana wanu, mukungophikira limodzi kapena kumaliza homuweki. Mwana wanu angayamikire kwa nthaŵi zonse kaamba ka chisamaliro chonse chimene mumampatsa, ndipo zimenezo zingasonyeze za maphunziro ake ndi chipambano chake m’moyo wamtsogolo.

10. Musamakakamize mwana wanu kuti aziyembekezera

Amayi olera okha ana amakonda kupanga mwana wawo kukhala pakati pa chilengedwe chonse ndipo amakhala ndi zoyembekeza zamitundumitundu kuchokera kwa iwo.

Izi nthawi zambiri zimawapanikiza kwambiri, ndipo amakula akukhulupirira kuti kuchita bwino kapena kulephera kwa amayi awo kumadalira iwo, ndipo amatopa.

Pewani izi. Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti muthandize mwana wanu koma khalani ndi njira zina zopezera zinthu. Khalani ndi chizolowezi, lowani nawo kalabu ya mabuku kapena chitani zinthu zina zomwe zingakusangalatseni.

Chotsani malingaliro anu pamwana wanu kwa kanthawi mkati mwa sabata ndikuwona kusiyana komwe kumapangitsa moyo wa mwana wanu.

11. Osadziimba mlandu

Monga momwe amayi ogwira ntchito oterowo ali ndi liwongo lakuti sakuthera nthaŵi yokwanira ndi ana awo, amayi olera okha ana kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi liwongo loŵirikiza lakuti mwanayo akukula popanda atate (ndipo liwongo limeneli amamva popanda cholakwa chawochawo).

Chifukwa cha zimenezi, amayesetsa kuchita zonse bwino ndipo nthawi zambiri amalephera momvetsa chisoni. Tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo izo; amayi osakwatiwa sali ma supermom ndipo ana amasintha mofulumira ku zochitika, kotero palibe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu chifukwa cholephera kuthera nthawi yokwanira, kulephera kupereka moyo wabwino kwambiri, osawatulutsa ku maholide omwe akufuna ndipo mndandanda umapitirira.

Ingosangalalani ndi nyumba yanu ya amayi okha, ndipo palibe malo olakwa pamenepo.

12. Musazengereze kupempha thandizo

Mungakhale mukuganiza momwe mungakhalire mayi wosakwatiwa popanda thandizo? Koma zoona zake n’zakuti nthawi zina umafunika kupempha thandizo ndipo uyenera kuchita zimenezi mosazengereza.

Njira yothandizira abwenzi ndi achibale imathandiza kwambiri mayi yemwe akulera yekha ana. Yesetsani kumanga dongosolo lothandizira ndikuwapempha kuti akuthandizeni pamene mwatopa.

Ngati mukufuna kupita kokacheza ndi anzanu kukamwa chakumwa ndikupumula, musaganize kuti ndinu odzikonda. Muyenera nthawi yanga kuti ndigwire ntchito bwino. Funsani msuweni kuti akulereni mwana ndipo musaganize kambirimbiri musanapemphe thandizo.

Kodi mayi amene akulera yekha ana angalere bwino mwana? Kukhala mayi ndi ntchito yolimbikira, koma mwachikondi, mwanzeru ndi khama linalake amayi olera ana ali okha amakhala makolo opambana. Ingotsatirani malangizo athu ndikukhala mayi wamkulu wosakwatiwa.

Ibibazo

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.