Ukwati wachiwiri ndi kufunafuna chikondi komwe kumabweretsa mfundo yodziwika bwino komanso yochititsa mantha chifukwa iyi si rodeo yanu yoyamba. Mumadzifunsa kuti, 'Kodi nthawi ino ipita pati?' ndi zachibadwa basi. Kumverera kumeneku kumatha kumveka kwambiri mukadutsa zaka zingapo. Ngati mukukumana ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana okhudza ukwati wachiwiri pambuyo pa zaka 40, nazi zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa pazomwe mungayembekezere komanso momwe mungapangire izi kuti zitheke.
Ndi mwayi wotani wokwatira pambuyo pa 40? Kodi mungathetsenso kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino? Kodi mumatani ndi mantha omwe munabadwa nawo okugwa ndi kuwotchedwanso? Mafunso onsewa ndi kusungitsa malo ndi achilengedwe komanso ofala. Chifukwa chake, musade nkhawa ndi mantha ndi chisangalalo chomwe mukumva musanachitike ulendo womwe watsala pang'ono kuyamba.
Zomwe Muyenera Kuyembekezera Kuchokera Ukwati Wachiwiri Pambuyo pa 40
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Anthu awiri akalowa m'banja, amakhala ndi chiyembekezo chokhala limodzi kwamuyaya. Komabe, nthawi zambiri, zinthu sizimayenda monga momwe mumayembekezera, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti musudzulane . Kapena mwina mwataya mnzanu chifukwa cha zinthu zosasangalatsa monga matenda kapena ngozi. Mulimonsemo, kuchira ku imfayo ndikukonzekera kugawana moyo wanu ndi wina kungakhale kovuta.
Choyamba, mungakhale mukuda nkhawa ndi mwayi wokwatiranso pambuyo pa zaka 40. Ndipotu, n'zachibadwa kuti mumafuna kuti ulendo wanu wachiwiri waukwati ukhale wokhalitsa. Izi zikutanthawuza kupeza bwenzi lomwe mungadziwone nokha kwa nthawi yayitali komanso yemwe angakhale wokhazikika pakupanga ubale wokhalitsa ndi inu. Popeza kuti zosankha zolumikizana ndi anthu amalingaliro amodzi zimakhala zochepa pakadutsa zaka zingapo, mutha kukhala mukuganiza za mwayi wolowa m'banja mutatha zaka 40.
Ndiye pali chiyembekezo, liwongo, kusuliza, kudzidetsa kaamba ka ‘kusakonza ukwati woyamba’ ndi kusimidwa kwa kuvala ‘nkhope yachimwemwe’ kungaike munthu wofuna kukwatiranso mopanikizidwa mosayenera. Kudziwa zomwe muyenera kuyembekezera m'banja lanu lachiŵiri pambuyo pa zaka 40 kungapangitse kusintha kukhala kosavuta.
Ukwati wachiwiri pambuyo pa 40 - ndizofala bwanji?
Chiŵerengero cha maukwati opambana chikuchepa mofulumira padziko lonse lapansi. Ku US, 50% ya maukwati amatha mwa kulekana kwamuyaya kapena kusudzulana. Ku India, chiwerengerochi n'chochepa kwambiri. Maukwati 13 okha mwa 1,000 aliwonse amatha mwa kusudzulana , zomwe zikutanthauza kuti chiŵerengerocho chili pafupifupi 1%.
Ngakhale kuti okwatirana amasankha ukwati chifukwa cha kusasangalala ndi kusakhutira, sizikutanthauza kuti amataya chikhulupiriro mu bungweli. Kodi okwatirana osudzulana amakwatirana kangati ali ndi zaka 40? Pafupifupi 80% ya anthu amakonda kukwatiranso pambuyo pa kusudzulana kapena kutayika kwa mnzawo. Ambiri mwa iwo ali ndi zaka zoposa 40. Chifukwa chake, chiwerengero cha okwatirana osudzulana omwe amalowa m'banja lachiwiri atatha zaka 40 n'chokwera kwambiri.
Ngati mwakhala mukuganiza za banja lachiwiri pambuyo pa zaka 40 - momwe zimakhalira, tsopano mukudziwa kuti anthu ambiri sachita manyazi kuyesanso ukwati. Zomwe zimatifikitsa ku funso lathu lotsatira - Kodi maukwati achiwiri amakhala opambana? Kodi maukwati achiwiri angapambane bwanji?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mwamuna Wanu Wayamba Kufufuza Maganizo? Zizindikiro 12 za Ukwati Wolephera
Kodi maukwati achiwiri amakhala opambana?
Poganizira kuti onse awiri kapena mmodzi mwa okwatiranawo adakumanapo kale ndi vutoli, wina angaganize kuti maukwati achiwiri ali ndi mwayi wopambana. Kutengera ndi zomwe munakumana nazo koyamba, mukadaphunzira kuchokera ku zolakwa zanu, ndikutulukamo, okhwima komanso anzeru. Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu ambiri amachita chidwi kudziwa: Kodi maukwati achiwiri amakhala osangalala kuposa oyamba?
Ziwerengero zikusonyeza zosiyana ndi zimenezi. Chiwerengero cha kusudzulana kwa ukwati wachiwiri chili pafupifupi 65%. Izi zikutanthauza kuti maukwati awiri mwa atatu aliwonse omwe amasudzulana sagwira ntchito. Mwayi woti ukwati wachiwiri uchitike pambuyo pa zaka 40 ukhale wokwera. Ngakhale kuti muli anzeru, odekha, komanso okhwima kwambiri pa nthawi ino ya moyo, mulinso okhazikika. Zimenezi zingapangitse ukwati wanu wachiwiri pambuyo pa zaka 40 kukhala wosatetezeka pang'ono, komabe, anthu ambiri amagwira ntchito paokha ndipo amapangitsa maukwati awo achiwiri kukhala achimwemwe kwa moyo wawo wonse. Izi zimapangitsa kuti kuzolowerana ndi mnzawo watsopano kukhale kovuta kwambiri.
Zina mwa zifukwa zomwe maukwati achiwiri amalephera ndi awa:
- Katundu kuyambira woyamba unalephera ubale
- Malingaliro osiyanasiyana pazandalama, kugonana, ndi banja
- Kusamvana pakati pa ana ochokera m'mabanja oyambirira
- Kutenga nawo mbali m'moyo
- Kudumphadumpha musanayambe kuchira ku vuto laukwati loyamba lolephereka.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 10 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli mu Ukwati Wopanda Chikondi
Momwe Mungapangire Ukwati Wachiwiri Pambuyo pa 40 Ntchito
Musalole kuti ziwerengerozi zikulepheretseni kukwatiranso kachiwiri mutatha zaka 40 ngati mukufunadi zimenezo. N'zotheka kupeza banja lanu losangalala nthawi zonse. Monga momwe Sonia Sood Mehta , yemwe wakwatiranso kachiwiri, akunenera, "Ndakhala nditakwatira kachiwiri ndipo iye ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima. Takhala m'banja kwa zaka 17 ndipo ndamudziwa kwa zaka 19."
“Tonse tinali okwatirana poyamba. Ukwati wanga woyamba unali woipa kwenikweni. Ndili ndi ana aŵiri a m’banja langa loyamba ndipo zimenezo sizisintha kalikonse. Ndife banja losangalala la ana anayi. Tili ogwirizana kwambiri kotero kuti palibe amene angadziŵe kuti tinali ndi moyo wakale.
Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuganiza kuti ndizotheka kukwatira pambuyo pa 40 ndikupangitsa kuti zitheke, muli ndi yankho lanu. Chisankho chanu chokwatiranso sichiyenera kupangidwa kukhala nkhani yokhotakhota mumdima wakuda ngati muli omveka bwino komanso owona mtima pazifukwa zomwe mukuganizira zaukwati wachiwiri pambuyo pa 40. Malo abwino oyambira angakhale okumbukira chiŵerengero cha chisudzulo chachiŵiri chaukwati ndi chifukwa chake maukwati achiwiri amalephera.
Ikhoza kukuthandizani kuti mukhale okhazikika ndikukulimbikitsani kuyesetsa mwakhama muubwenzi wanu. Izi zingakuthandizeni kwambiri inu ndi mnzanu watsopano. Nawa maupangiri opangira ukwati wanu wachiwiri pambuyo pa 40 kutha:
1. Pewani kufananiza bwenzi lanu lapano ndi wakale wanu
Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa mukufuna kugwiritsa ntchito bwenzi lanu lomaliza monga chizindikiro kuti muone maonekedwe a mnzanu watsopano, kaimidwe ka ndalama, maganizo, khalidwe pabedi, gulu la anthu, kulankhulana momasuka, kalembedwe ka kulankhulana, ndi zina zotero, yesetsani kugwedeza chizolowezi ichi. Simuyenera kubweretsa izi pokambirana ndi okondedwa wanu.
Ngati chizolowezichi chikugwiritsidwa ntchito kuti chiwonjezere mphamvu pa mnzanu, mwina chidzawononga ubale wanu watsopano kwamuyaya . Mkazi wopanda grouse salipo, motero, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wapano akhoza kukhala ndi kapena alibe makhalidwe enaake omwe amakukumbutsani za wakale wanu.
Komabe, kufananiza kosalekeza kungapangitse mnzanuyo kumva kuti ndi wosakwanira ndipo izi zingapweteke kwambiri. Zimenezi n’zofunika makamaka ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sanakwatirepo. Simukufuna kuti malingaliro onse a 'ukwati wanga woyamba' akhale wowawa muubwenzi.
2. Ganizirani zochita zanu
Ngati banja lanu loyamba silinayende bwino, muyenera kudzifufuza. Dzifunseni kuti, 'ndinatani kuti ndithandizire kuti ubalewu ulephereke' kapena 'ndikanachita chiyani mosiyana'? Mwayi, mumadziwa zinthu za inu zomwe simunazidziwe. Ndipo izi zingakuthandizeni kuti musabwerezenso zolakwika zomwezo ndikudzipangira nokha. Munthu wamkulu wodalirika ndi amene amadziwa kuvomereza zotsatira za zochita zawo ndikugwiritsa ntchito maphunzirowa kuti akhale ndi moyo wabwino.
Ndi udindo wanu kuteteza zofuna zanu pamene mukuphunzira kukhala omasuka ndi osatetezeka ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ngati mukufuna kuti banja lanu likhale m'gulu la nkhani zachipambano zaukwati wachiŵiri, mfungulo ndiyo kugwiritsira ntchito kulephera kwa ukwati wanu monga chisonkhezero chosonkhezera chimwemwe m'kutumiza kwanu. Muli ndi mwayi 'wowonjezera'. Chitani bwino.
Shilpa Tom , yemwe amagwira ntchito ku banki, anati, “Mwayi wokwatira munthu atatha zaka 40 umadalira kwambiri umunthu wa munthuyo komanso kukumana ndi munthu woyenera amene mungagwirizane naye. Chofunika kwambiri ndi kupangitsa ukwati wachiwiri atatha zaka 40 kugwira ntchito. Pachifukwa ichi, ndikofunikira kukonza zinthu zomwe zinalakwika mu ukwati woyamba kukhala zolondola.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 20 Zopangitsa Mwamuna Wanu Kukukondaninso
3. Khalani wowona mtima popanda kusasamala ndi mawu anu
Anthu ambiri amanyadira kukhala oona mtima nthawi zonse. M’kukambiranako, amakhala osasamala pa zolankhula ndi zochita zawo, zomwe zimawononga kwambiri malingaliro a mnzawoyo komanso ubale wawo. Ndikofunikira kulankhula zowona kwa wokondedwa wanu koma kukhulupirika koyipa kumatha kubweretsa zovuta muubwenzi. Kuona mtima ndi lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse lomwe liyenera kulimbana ndi kukoma mtima ndi chifundo.
Janet Serrao Agarwal , katswiri wowerengera ndalama, anati, “Ponena za mwayi wokwatiranso pambuyo pa zaka 40 ndikuthandizira kuti ubalewo ugwire ntchito, mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa okwatirana awiriwa ndi wofunika kwambiri, chifukwa mu ukwati woyamba chidaliro chimatayika ndipo pamakhala mkwiyo.
Mwachitsanzo, kuvomera ana a mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n'kumayendera banja limodzi pamene mukuphunzira kuthana ndi zinthu zimene zingakuchititseni kukhulupirirana kapena kusatetezeka.
Kupatula apo, pakadali pano, onse okwatirana amakhala odziyimira pawokha ndipo amangoyang'ana kuvomerezedwa ndi kulemekezedwa kwa miyoyo yawo. Choncho, kukhala oona mtima ndi kuona zinthu zenizeni kumatanthauzanso kuvomereza kuti si nkhani yachikondi yomwe mumamva agulugufe m'mimba mwanu kapena mukumva kuti mtima wanu ukugunda.
4. Si njira yanu kapena msewu waukulu
Chotsani njira yanga kapena njira yayikulu. Inde, mungakhale munazoloŵera kuchita zinthu mwanjira inayake, kukhala ndi moyo mwanjira inayake pamene mudzakhala ndi ukwati wachiŵiri pambuyo pa zaka 40. Koma kaonedwe kameneka kakubweretsa tsoka.
Kumanga ukwati wolimba , kachiwiri, kuli ngati kukwera pa ayezi woonda. Malingaliro ndi ofooka, ndipo mabala ndi mabala akale akadali amphamvu. Choncho yesetsani kukhala omasuka muubwenzi, ndikupangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti walandiridwa m'moyo wanu komanso kunyumba kwanu. Ngakhale zitatanthauza kusintha pang'ono pano ndi apo.
5. Kondwererani kusiyanako
Inu ndi mnzanu simudzagwirizana pa zinthu zingapo. Mabanja onse ndi omwe amasiyana. Musalole kuti kusamvana pang'ono kumeneku kapena mikangano yosafunikira kukhale zinthu zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto akale. Komanso, musataye umunthu wanu pa guwa la ukwati wanu wachiwiri mutakwanitsa zaka 40, chifukwa choti mukufunitsitsa kuti zinthu ziyende bwino nthawi ino. Zimenezo zidzakusiyani osakhutira komanso okwiya.
M'malo mwake, pangani kulankhulana kolimba kuti muvomereze, kukumbatira, ndi kukondwerera kusiyana kwanu. Kaya ndi banja lachiwiri kapena loyamba pambuyo pa 40 - kapena ngakhale woyamba kwa m'modzi ndi wachiwiri kwa winayo - chinsinsi cha kupambana ndikukhazikitsa malo okwanira muubwenzi kuti onse awiri aziyenda bwino ndikukhala enieni.
Kupatula apo, ukwati umafuna mgwirizano, kupatsa, ndi ulendo wofanana wa kupita patsogolo - monga munthu payekha komanso monga banja. Musadandaule za kuchuluka kwa kusudzulana kwa banja lachiwiri komanso nkhani za kupambana kwa banja lachiwiri. Musataye tulo chifukwa cha mafunso monga, 'Kodi ndingathe kukwatiranso nditakwanitsa zaka 40?', 'Kodi maukwati achiwiri ndi opambana kwambiri ?', 'Chifukwa chiyani maukwati achiwiri amalephera?' ndi zina zotero. Perekani zonse zomwe mungathe, ndipo lolani zinthu zichitike mwachibadwa.
Zolakwa 5 Zoopsa Zomwe Makolo Anga Anapanga Muukwati Wawo Wazaka 50
Ndinali Ndi Ukwati Wachipongwe Koma Ndinkalimbanabe Ndi Imfa Ya Mwamuna Wanga
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
