Zizindikiro 11 Za Banja Lachimwemwe, Lathanzi

Funsani wachibale aliyense wodzisunga ndipo adzakuuzani kuti gwero la chisangalalo chonse pa Dziko Lapansi ndi ukwati. Koma zizindikiro za banja labwino zimangogwira ntchito kwa iwo omwe amamanga mfundo ndi munthu woyenera. Kusankha molakwa, kusamvana, kapena vuto losayembekezereka lingayambitse mavuto aakulu mumgwirizano. Koma mukamaona ngati muli ndi mwayi ndipo pali mikangano yabwino muubwenzi wanu, zikuwonekeratu kuti muli m'banja lolimba. Gwirani nkhuni! 

Maukwati ena amasokonekera kapena kuipiraipira pakapita nthawi. Koma pali chisangalalo chachikulu chomwe mgwirizano wopatulikawu umabweretsa pamene mukupereka moyo wanu kwa munthu woyenera. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, kukhala m’banja losangalala kumakhudzananso ndi thanzi labwino la maganizo ndi thupi. Kuti tidziwe mmene tingakhalire ndi banja losangalala, tinapita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Aakhansha Varghese (M.Sc. Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana zaupangiri paubwenzi - kuyambira pachibwenzi mpaka kutha kwa zibwenzi, komanso okwatirana asanakwatirane mpaka maubwenzi ozunza. 

Zizindikiro 11 Zapamwamba Zaukwati Wathanzi

Aakhansha anati: “Ubwenzi wabwino wa m’banja ungaphatikizepo zinthu zambiri monga kukhulupirirana, ulemu, chikhulupiriro, kukhulupirika, kudzipereka, ndi kumvetsetsa.” Ngakhale kuti mfundo zimenezi n’zofunika kwambiri, tifunika kuzama mozama ndi kuona mmene zinthu zimenezi zikukuthandizirani kubweretsa mphamvu zabwino m’banja lanu. Tiyeni tione zina mwa zitsanzo za banja labwino. Mukhoza kugwiritsa ntchito zizindikiro ndi zitsanzo kuweruza ubwino wa ubale wanu komanso.

1. Onse okwatirana ali ofunitsitsa kuphunzira za wina ndi mnzake 

Aakhansha anati: “Monga dokotala wothandiza anthu okwatirana, nthawi zambiri ndimakumana ndi nkhani yakuti anthu okwatirana safunana wina ndi mnzake pakapita zaka.” Onse awiri amakhala otanganidwa kwambiri ndi udindo wawo wa m’banja moti amaiwala kuyamikira munthu wawo kapena kusangalatsana.

“Kaya ndi kulera ana, kupeza ndalama zopezera banja, kusamalira makolo okalamba, okwatirana nthaŵi zina amaiwala kusonyezana chikondi.” Zimenezi zingachititse ena kapena onse aŵiri kuona ngati palibe kugwirizana m’maganizo ndipo zimenezi zimawapangitsa kuganiza kuti akukakamirabe m’banja loipa. ukwati wopambana, ndiye kuti musasiye kuphunzira za wina ndi mnzake.”

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofunika za mwamuna kapena mkazi wachikondi ndi chakuti sasiya kukhala ndi chidwi ndi inu. Kuti mukhale ndi banja lolimba komanso kuti musamakhumudwe, pali zinthu zina zomwe mungayambe kuchita kuti mupitirize kuphunzira za mnzanuyo:

• Lankhulani nawo tsiku lililonse mwachidwi ndi mwachifundo
• Yang'anani zochita zawo ndi machitidwe awo
• Osamangomvetsera komanso amveketseni
• Gawani chakudya limodzi ndi kukambirana za tsiku lanu 
• Pitirizani kuwakumbutsa kuti mwabwera kudzawathandiza zivute zitani 

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2. Mumakula payekhapayekha komanso palimodzi 

Chifukwa chakuti mukufuna kukula panokha, sizikutanthauza kuti ndi nkhani zoipa kwa banja lanu. Zimangotanthauza kuti mukuchita bwino m'mbali zonse za moyo wanu. Anthu omwe ali m'mabanja athanzi amakhulupirira kuti kukulira limodzi komanso payekhapayekha.

Kodi kukulira limodzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Atafunsidwa Reddit, wogwiritsa ntchito anayankha kuti, "Zikutanthauza kupanga zisankho palimodzi, mogwirizana. Kupanga tsogolo limodzi ndikupangitsa kuti lichitike. Zonse zikupangidwa ndi zochitika zomwezo, zochitika zofanana. Kudutsa mu nthawi zovuta pamodzi ndikukhala nazo kumalimbitsa mgwirizano wanu m'malo mokulekanitsani. M'kupita kwanthawi, mumakhala wogwirizana kwambiri, mwachibadwa mumagwira ntchito limodzi kuposa momwe munali poyamba." 

3. Mumachitirana chifundo 

Chinsinsi cha ukwati wabwino ndi kukoma mtima. Ndi guluu lomwe limagwirizanitsa anthu awiri. Inde, ndi zophweka monga choncho. Research zimasonyeza kuti kukhala wachifundo kwa wokondedwa wanu kuli ndi ubwino wambiri. Zimasonyeza kuti mukamachitira zabwino wokondedwa wanu, monga kupanga khofi yawo yam'mawa kapena kuwasonyeza chikondi chochulukirapo, zikhoza kulimbikitsa umoyo wanu wamaganizo, mosasamala kanthu kuti mnzanuyo akuwona kapena ayi. 

Mudzadziwa kuti muli panjira yoyenera pamene banja lanu liri ndi malingaliro ndi makhalidwe ena abwino monga: 

• Chifundo
• Chisamaliro
• Wokhutira 
• Chemistry 
• Kupatsa
• Chisoni

4. Nonse mumakhulupirira kukhululuka ndi kuiwala;

Kukhululuka kwenikweni ndi njira yachidule yochotsera zowawa ndi zoipa zimene wina wakuchitirani. Kukhululuka muubwenzi ndizofunikira kwambiri ndipo ziyenera kukhala chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri m'banja la aliyense. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe muli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wamkulu ndi pamene sakusungirani chakukhosi kapena chakukhosi. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mukakhala patsamba lomwelo za kupepesa ndikukonza, mumavomereza kuti ndi munthu wina yemwe angathe kulakwitsa.

Studies avumbula kuti kukhululuka n’kumene kumapangitsa kuti banja likhale lolimba. Zimapereka chikhutiro chokulirapo chaukwati ndi bata. Kuti mukhale ndi banja losangalala ndi ubale wachimwemwe, sankhani kukhululukira mnzanuyo mozindikira pamene akukukhumudwitsani mosadziwa ndi mawu kapena khalidwe lawo. 

5. Mitundu yonse yaubwenzi imachitidwa 

Ngakhale mukukumana ndi zovuta zantchito ndikulera ana kapena ziweto kapena mbewu, ngati inu ndi mnzanu mukuchitabe maubwenzi amtundu uliwonse, zikuwonekeratu kuti muli m'banja losangalala. Ubale wapamtima uliwonse uyenera kukhala ndi mitundu isanu ya maubwenzi awa:

• Ubwenzi wakuthupi
• Ubwenzi wapamtima 
• Ubwenzi wanzeru
• Ubwenzi wauzimu 
• Ubwenzi wapagulu 

Ubwenzi umapanga maziko a maubwenzi abwino chifukwa umatsimikizira kulankhulana kwatanthauzo, komwe kumabweretsa mgwirizano wabwino wamaganizo. 

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6. Moyo wanu wogonana ndi wabwino

Ubwenzi ndi kugonana si chinthu chomwecho. Koma ubwenzi umabweretsadi kugonana kwabwinoko. Kugonana, kumbali ina, sikungabweretse maubwenzi ambiri. Ndipo inu mukudziwa zomwe iwo amanena? Kugonana kukakhala kwabwino, ndi 5% ya ubale. Koma zikayipa, ndi 95% ya ubale. 

Ngati kugonana kwanu kumasamalidwa, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za banja losangalala. Studies atsimikizira kuti kugonana kotetezeka ndi kosangalatsa ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri kuti banja likhale lathanzi. Kumbali ina, ngati simukudziwa momwe mungakwaniritsire wokondedwa wanu, nawa malangizo:

• Yang'anani kwambiri foreplay, musamafulumire
• Gwiritsani ntchito zonyansa zokometsera zinthu m'chipinda chogona 
• Gwiranani wina ndi mzake nthawi zambiri tsiku lonse, m'njira zosagonana
• Yesani ndi zinthu zatsopano
• Lankhulani ndi pilo kwa mphindi zochepa mutagonana 

7. Kwa inu, mikangano imakhala yokhazikika

Aakhansha akuti, “Banja lolimba sizitanthauza kuti okwatiranawo sakangana, okwatirana osangalala amamenyana mwaulemu ndipo sayesa kunyozana kuti angopambana mkangano. wa mkwiyo.”

koma pamene mukumenyana mobwerezabwereza pa zinthu zomwezo, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti m’modzi m’banja sakusangalala. Thanzi lanu lonse laukwati posachedwapa likhoza kuchepa kwambiri ngati izi sizikusamalidwa mwamsanga. 

8. Muli ndi malire abwino 

Malire abwino ndi ofunika kwambiri ngati mukufuna kuti banja likhale lolimba. Ndi mmene okwatirana awiri amapangira kukumana pakati pa kudziwitsana kuti sangapirire zinthu zina. Pali malire ndi malire ena sayenera kuwoloka.

Zina mwa zitsanzo za malire abwino monga:

• Mmodzi alibe udindo pa chisangalalo cha mnzake. Inde, angathe kuchita zinthu zing’onozing’ono zachikondi kuti asangalatse winayo koma munthu sayenera kuimbidwa mlandu kaamba ka chimwemwe ndi kusasangalala kwa wina.
• Palibe nkhanza zakuthupi kapena zamalingaliro monga kuyatsa gasi, kugenda miyala, kuwongolera chilengedwe, kuwongolera, kukhumudwa, ndi kutchula mayina
• Kusunga zinthu zofunika, zachinsinsi, kapena zovuta pakati pawo ndikusalola munthu wina kulowa muukwati 
• Kulankhula zenizeni za ziyembekezo

9. Inu awiri nthawi zonse ndinu gulu 

Aakhansha akuti, “Maukwati abwino kwambiri amamangidwa pakugwira ntchito mogwirizana.Chizindikiro chimodzi chakuti muli ndi mkazi wabwino ndi pamene nonse mumagwira ntchito limodzi kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, kaya kulera ana, kubweretsa ndalama m’banja, kuchita zinthu mwadongosolo. ntchito zapakhomo, kapena kupeza njira yothetsera mavuto.”

Mukakhala ndi mgwirizano m'chilichonse, mumangosangalala ndi nthawi yocheza yomwe ingalimbikitse ubale wanu wabanja. Khalani gulu - awiri motsutsana ndi dziko lapansi - ndikuwona momwe banja lanu likuyendera bwino posachedwa. 

10. Simufananiza ubale wanu ndi ena 

Zimenezi n’zofunika mofanana ndi zizindikiro zina zonse chifukwa mukayerekezera ukwati wanu ndi anthu ena, mumaona ngati pali vuto linalake pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo. Mutha kukhala osangalala ndi zomwe mudadalitsidwa nazo ngati simudzitsutsana ndi omwe ali ndi maulendo osiyanasiyana kuposa anu.

Osasokoneza moyo wanu wa m’banja mwa kugwera m’msampha wodziyerekezera ndi ena. Zidzakuberani chisangalalo chanu chonse ndipo mudzasiya kuyamika zinthu zomwe muli nazo kale. 

11. Ndinu mabwenzi apamtima

Ndi luso kukhala bwenzi ndi mnzanu. Ndizokongola, zokondweretsa, ndipo zimakupangitsani kukhala osangalala. Kupeza bwenzi lapamtima mwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu iyenera kukhala imodzi mwamaubwenzi abwino kwambiri omwe mungakumane nawo. Mumakonda kucheza limodzi. Mumaseka kwambiri ndipo mumadziwa kusangalala. Mumalankhulana wina ndi mnzake popanda mantha kuweruzidwa. Mutha kukhala pachiwopsezo wina ndi mnzake. Mumadziwa zolakwa za wina ndi mzake koma mumazivomereza momwe zilili. 

Katswiri wa zaubwenzi, Aakhansha, anati: “Maukwati amatanthauza mabanja athanzi mmene anthu aŵiri angakhalire mwamtendere. Tikukhulupirira kuti ubale wanu ndi malo anu osangalatsa, nyumba yomwe mutha kupumula pambuyo pa tsiku lovuta. 

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