Zinthu 15 Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mwamuna Sakondana Kapena Wachikondi

Si amuna onse amene angabweretse maluwa kunyumba, kukupsompsonani pamene mukupita kuntchito, kapena kukugwedezani pambali pamene mukutsuka mbale pa sinki ndikugwira ntchito zapakhomo. Ayi, si onse amene amakhala ndi mwayi wotero. Mawu akuti “Mwamuna wanga sakondana” ndi mawu amene akazi ambiri amawachitira amene akazi awo saona kuti chikondi n'chofunika.

Ndipo m'kupita kwa nthawi, madandaulo nthawi zambiri amakula kuti "Mwamuna wanga samasonyeza chidwi ndi ine" kapena "Mwamuna wanga saganizira". Mwina si mbali ya khalidwe lawo kapena kuti ubale wanu ukungopita patsogolo monga momwe ubale uliwonse umachitira. Amuna ena amayesa kukhala okondana kwambiri pamene ali pachibwenzi kapena ali pachibwenzi koma pamene mabelu aukwati akulira, amabwerera kukukhala kwawo osalankhula, osalongosoka. Kulekerera mwamuna amene alibe chikondi kungakhale kovutirapo, mosakaikira zimenezo.

Mwamuna amene sakukondani akhoza kukupangitsani kukayikira ngati ndinu wokwanira kwa iye kapena ayi. Zimenezo limodzi ndi kusakhutira ndi maganizo kungadzetse nkhaŵa ponena za tsogolo la ukwati wanu. Komabe, sivuto losagonjetseka muubwenzi ndipo ndi chinthu chomwe chingathe kuthetsedwa mosamala. Choncho musalole kuti mawu akuti “mwamuna wanga alibe chikondi kapena chikondi” akukhumudwitseni. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungakhalire ndi mwamuna wopanda chikondi popanda kukusokonezani, kapena banja lanu.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Amuna Amasiya Kukondana?

Zizindikiro za mwamuna yemwe sali pachibwenzi siziyenera kusokonezedwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu atatuluka m'banjamo. Angangotanthauza kuti sakulongosola mokwanira. Amuna ali, nthawi zambiri, amakhoza kufotokoza okha komanso kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimakhala chifukwa cha chikhalidwe cha anthu chomwe chimaphunzitsa amuna kusunga malingaliro awo kuyambira ali aang'ono, m'dzina la kuuma mtima, osati kwenikweni umunthu wawo.

Komabe, zizolowezi zimenezi zimakhazikika kwambiri m’maganizo mwawo moti m’kupita kwa nthawi zimakhala mbali yofunika ya umunthu wawo. Ndicho chifukwa chake akazi ambiri, m'zikhalidwe ndi zaka zosiyanasiyana, rue, "Mwamuna wanga sali wachikondi kapena wachikondi." Izi, nthawi zambiri, zimatsatiridwa ndi lingaliro lina, "Sanavutike kufotokoza komanso kukondana pamene tinali pachibwenzi. Bwanji osatero? Kodi ndi chizindikiro kuti wayamba kukondana?"

Chabwino, osati kwenikweni. Mwamuna wanu angakhale kuti anali wachikondi m'masiku oyambirira a chibwenzi chanu koma mwayi ndi wakuti zinamutengera khama lalikulu kuti akhale choncho. Pambuyo paukwati, amuna ambiri amakhala osakondana chifukwa zimawabwezera m'malo awo otonthoza. Iye angaone kuti tsopano mwakwatiwa ndipo ndinu bwenzi lake kwa moyo wonse, palibe chifukwa choyesera kuchita chinthu chimene sichinabwere mwachibadwa kwa iye. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kungodzipereka ku zoikidwiratu ndikukhazikika paubwenzi womwe sumabweretsa chisangalalo chamalingaliro. Ndiye mumatani ngati mwamuna wanu sakusonyeza chikondi? Tiyeni tipeze…

Zinthu 15 Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mwamuna Sakondana Kapena Wachikondi

"Mwamuna wanga alibe chikondi, nditani?" ndi funso lomwe labweretsa pano lero ndipo tili pano kuti tikuyankheni. Koma dziwani kuti kusintha sikungochitika mwadzidzidzi. Simungamupangitse kuti achoke kuti asanene kuti usiku wabwino akupatseni phazi musanalowe usiku. Pamene palibe chikondi m'banja, onse awiriwa ayenera kuyesetsa mwakhama komanso mwachidwi kuti apititse patsogolo mgwirizano wawo.

Popeza kuti inuyo ndi amene mukuvutika chifukwa chosowa chikondi, mungafunike kuchitapo kanthu. Choncho, nthawi ina mukadzakhumudwa kwambiri ndi maganizo akuti “mwamuna wanga sachita chilichonse chapadera kwa ine,” yesetsani kuganizira zinthu zapadera zimene mungachitire mwamuna wanu. Mwinanso mungayambe kuchitapo kanthu ngati mwamuna wanu sali wachikondi kapena wachikondi.

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1. Landirani mwamuna wanu momwe alili

Kodi mumatani ngati mwamuna wanu sakusonyeza chikondi? Yang'anani pakupeza kuvomereza kwa mnzanu yemwe ali payekha. Monga tanenera poyamba paja, anthu ena sali okondana koma sizikutanthauza kuti sasamala za inu. Ngati mutha kuvomereza chowonadi ichi, ndiye kuti lingaliro lakuti "mwamuna wanga sali woganiza" lidzayamba kukuvutitsani pang'ono.

Mwamuna wanu angakhale ndi mikhalidwe ina yabwino imene imapangitsa kukhala koyenerera kukhala naye. Mwina, iye ndi munthu woleza mtima kwambiri amene munakumanapo naye kapena ndi munthu wokonda mtendere, akhoza kukhala wokonda kukambirana kapena munthu woganizira kwambiri amene munakumanapo naye. Mulandireni mmene alili ndipo mudzatha kumukonda mosavuta.

2. Yamikirani mwamuna wanu momwe alili

Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wopanda chibwenzi, yesani kupeza njira zoyamikirira mwamuna wanu ndipo iye adzachita mwachibadwa zinthu zonse zimene zimakusangalatsani. M’malo monena kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sali wachikondi kapena woganizira ena”, yambani inuyo kuchitapo kanthu posonyeza chikondi kwa mwamuna wanu. Ganizirani za mbali zabwinozo ndikuyamba kusonyeza chikondi m’njira zimene mukufuna kukondedwa.

Pakhala kafukufuku wambiri wopeza mgwirizano pakati pa kuyamikira, kuyamikira, kudzipereka muukwati, ndi kukhutira. Chidutswa chimodzi cha kafukufuku zimasonyeza kuti ngati mumayamikira ndi kusonyeza chiyamikiro kwa mnzanuyo, mothekera kukhala ndi unansi wokhutiritsa. Chosangalatsa ndichakuti kafukufukuyu adapezanso kuti kuyamika kumatha kupindulitsa thanzi lanu lonse lamalingaliro ndi thupi komanso kukulitsa ubale wanu, kuphatikiza ukwati.

3. Musalole kuti malo ochezera a pa Intaneti azikukhudzani

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe mukuganiza kuti, "Mwamuna wanga samandidabwitsa" kapena "Mwamuna wanga samapanganso masiku ngati amuna ena" akhoza kukhala chithunzithunzi chabwino cha maubwenzi a ena pa intaneti. Mwina, munawerenga mushy tsiku lobadwa bwenzi bwenzi anaika pa Facebook kwa mkazi wake kapena kuona chikondi m'mphepete mwa nyanja chithunzi cha bestie wanu ndi mwamuna wake, ndipo zinakupangitsani inu kuganiza, "Mwamuna wanga samasonyeza chidwi ndi ine." Musalole kuti zosefedwa, zowoneka bwino za maubwenzi a anthu osiyanasiyana zitsimikizire zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa mnzanu.

Simudziwa nkhani yeniyeni ya moyo wawo. Osapeza kutengeka ndi chikondi chapa social media ndi kuweruza mwamuna wako. Ndicho chinthu chowawa kwambiri kuchita. M’malomwake, muziganizira kwambiri zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amabweretsa m’banjamo ndipo muziyamikira.

4. Yesetsani kuyembekezera musananene kuti “Mwamuna wanga si wachikondi kapena wachikondi”

Ganizirani chifukwa chake mukuganiza kuti mwamuna wanu sakukondani. Kodi malingaliro anu achikondi amajambula ndi ma romcoms ndi Mills & Boons? Ndiye, muyenera kutero samalira zoyembekeza za ubale moyenera. Zomwe amawonetsa m'mafilimu ndikulemba m'mabuku onse ndizochitika zachikondi ndipo mawonekedwe a amuna amapangidwa kuti akope chidwi cha akazi. Tikhulupirireni.

Amuna m'moyo weniweni sangagwirizane ndi lingaliro limenelo lachikondi. Njira zake zosonyezera chikondi zingakhale zosiyana kotheratu. Mwina, akamalemberana mameseji akufunsa ngati mwafika ku ofesi yanu bwinobwino kapena kukubweretserani zokometsera zomwe mumakonda chifukwa mumadzimva kuti ndinu otsika kapena onetsetsani kuti galimoto yanu imakhala yotentha komanso yosamalidwa bwino, ndi njira yake yofotokozera kuti amakukondani.

Mwinamwake, amakhulupirira kusonyeza chikondi chake kupyolera mu manja oganiza bwino ndi ntchito zautumiki. Kufufuza zenizeni za mmene chikondi chimakhalira m’moyo weniweniwo kungathandize kwambiri kuthetsa nkhani yakuti “Bwanji ngati ubwenzi wanga uli wothandiza koma osati wachikondi?” kumva. Mukatero, mudzakhala pamalo abwino oyamikira tinthu tating’ono tomwe amakuchitirani.

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5. Kupanda chikondi kwa mwamuna? Mpatseni malingaliro

"Sakuonetsa chikondi m'chibwenzi ndipo ndikumva kuti zayamba kutuluka. Nditani?" Lana anafunsa mlongo wake Sophie. Ndipo iye anayankha kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani kukhala wachikondi ndi wachikondi ntchito yake yokha?

Malangizowa akhoza kukuchitirani zabwino ngati mukuganiza momwe mungachitire ndi mnzanu yemwe alibe chikondi. Amuna ena sadziwa zomwe zimagwira ntchito ngati zachikondi komanso zomwe angachite asangalatse akazi awo. Khalani patsogolo pa nkhani imeneyi. M’malo modandaula kuti, “Sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake mwamuna wanga alibe chikondi”, yesetsani kuyambiranso chibwenzicho.

Muuzeni za malo angapo okondana omwe mungafufuze kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yabwino limodzi kapena muuzeni za diresi lalitali lofiira lomwe mwakhala mukuliyang'ana pamalo ogulitsira. Sungitsani malo kumalo odyera abwino ndikumudabwitsa. Yambani inuyo kuchitapo kanthu ndi kumuika mumkhalidwe wachikondi. Yang'anani ma dimples ake pamene akumwetulira ndikumwetulira vinyo. Yang'anani kuwala kwa makandulo pa nkhope yake.

6. Pangani ubwenzi wapamtima

Katswiri wotchuka wa zamaganizo Esther Perel akufotokoza kuti: “Munthu akhoza kukhala popanda kugonana koma sangakhale popanda kukhudza.” Ana amene sanakhudzidwepo mwaubwenzi ali ana amadzayamba kudwala matenda obwera chifukwa cha kugwirizana kwawo atakula. Ngati simumugwira mnzako, kupatulapo kugonana, akhoza kukwiya. Kuseketsa, kukhudza, kuseweretsa, kukumbatirana, kuyang’ana khungu ndi khungu, kuyang’ana maso, ndi kufunitsitsa kudziŵa bwino lomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo monga munthu—zimenezi ndi zinsinsi za pangano la ukwati.”

Izi ndi zomveka bwino chifukwa chakuti ukwati ndi kudzipereka kwa moyo wonse, ndipo, motero, kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kusunga ubale ndi kudzipereka kukhala moyo. Njira zina zochitira izi ndi izi:

• Kugwirana manja pafupipafupi
• Kukonza nthawi yocheza ndi mnzanu
• Kuyesera kukhala pachiwopsezo chamalingaliro muzochitika zapamtima
• Kukumbatirana ndi kukumbatirana pafupipafupi

7. Lekani kufananiza banja lanu ndi la ena

Ndicho chinthu choipa kwambiri chimene inu mungachite kwa mwamuna wanu ndipo izo zikhoza kungomuthamangitsira kutali ndi inu. Mukapitiriza kumuuza mwachidwi kuti mwamuna wa Dina anamupezera mphete ya diamondi pa tsiku lawo lachikumbutso ndipo mwamuna wa Laila anamutengera kutchuthi ku Ulaya pa tsiku lake lobadwa, zidzamusokoneza kwambiri.

Kodi mungatani ndi mnzanu amene alibe chikondi? Yesetsani kusamunyoza pomuyerekezera ndi amuna ena. M’malo mwake, chitani zinthu zolimbikitsa. Mutha kupanga mapulani atchuthi! Fotokozani za malo abwino atchuthi kwa inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, konzekerani, ndi kumudabwitsa. Mukakhala patchuthi, muziika patsogolo kusangalala pamodzi. Mutha kungomuona akupanga mapulani amtsogolo.

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8. Dziwani kuti aliyense ali ndi zilankhulo zosiyanasiyana zachikondi

“Mwamuna wanga ndi wakutali ndipo alibe chikondi pagulu, sandigwira nkomwe dzanja tili panja. Chabwino, ngati mutayang'ana motere, kusowa kwake kwa chikondi kudzawoneka kowopsya kwambiri tsiku ndi tsiku. Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo kuti chinenero chake chachikondi chingakhale chosiyana kwambiri ndi chanu, ndipo angakhale akusonyeza chikondi ndi chikondi m’njira yakeyake koma zonse zimene mumatha kuziwona ndi zizindikiro za mwamuna wopanda chibwenzi?

Mwinamwake iye ndi mtundu chabe wa munthu amene amadana ndi PDA pa social media komanso IRL. Chikondi kwa iye chingatanthauze kukumbatirana pamodzi ndi kuonera filimu kumapeto kwa tsiku lalitali osati kukubweretserani maluwa ndi chokoleti. Mvetserani momwe akumvera komanso momwe akumvera, ndipo simudzakhala ndi chifukwa chodera nkhawa kuti palibe chikondi mu ubale.

9. Lankhulani ngati mwamuna wanu ali kutali komanso alibe chikondi

Ndi Reddit wosuta Analemba kuti: “Simuyenera kupempha. Nthawi zonse, muyenera kunena kuti, “Hubby, ndingakonde kwambiri mutabwera kudzagona n’kundikumbatira mpaka ndikamalira.” Ayeneranso kufuna kuchita zinthu zimene zimakusangalatsani, monga mmene inunso mumafunira kumusangalatsa.

Muyenera kunena moona mtima, momveka bwino komanso momasuka zomwe mukufuna / zomwe mukufuna. Ndipotu, a phunziro chachitika kuti amvetsetse unansi wa chikhutiro cha m’banja ndi kulankhulana kwabwino chinapeza kuti kugwira bwino ntchito kwa okwatirana aŵiri kukambitsirana kumakhala maziko omangira unansi wachimwemwe.

10. Bweretsani motowo ndi mwamuna wanu wosakonda

“Mwamuna wanga samandidabwitsa konse.” Koma, bwanji ngati mutamudabwitsa? Bweretsani maulendo a ayisikilimu pakati pausiku kapena ma drive a impromptu. Kapena chilichonse chofanana chomwe nonse mumachikonda kwambiri. Nazi zitsanzo:

• Ngati mafilimu apakati pausiku anali chinthu chanu kamodzi, yesani kuchita zimenezo kamodzi pamwezi
• Ngati mumakonda sewero, mumudalitseni ndi sub-dom yosiyana ya cosplay
• Ngati mumakonda kugulira limodzi, pangani mwambo wa Lamlungu womwe sungaphonye

Sizinthu zanu zonse zomwe zingalandiridwe bwino, koma mwina mukuchita kuyesetsa mu ubale, ndipo ngakhale atakhala ochepa bwanji, kuyesayesa kumeneko kudzawonjezera zotsatira zazikulu. Ngati mnzanu, nayenso, akufuna kuti agwirizanenso, ayamba kubwezera posachedwa.

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11. Siyani kutsutsa

Mwinamwake, iye ali kulimbana ndi mkazi wovuta ndipo simunakonzekere kuyang'ana mbali yakutsogolo. Mumangoti, “Mwamuna wanga sachita chilichonse chapadera kwa ine”. Koma kodi mukumulepheretsa kudziimira pomuuza kuti:

• Angakhale nthawi yayitali bwanji ku bar ndi anzake
• Ndi mathalauza ati ayenera kuvala
• Momwe ayenera kuchitira ndi abwana ake
• Ndi zakudya zotani zomwe ayenera kutsatira

Pamene ufulu wake wodziyimira pawokha komanso chidaliro chake zikutidwa ndi kudandaula konseko, palibe malo ochulukirapo oti achite zachikondi. Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo kuti mwina akuganiza kuti simuli oganiza bwino komanso osakondana?

12. Khalani ndi moyo wanu

M’malo mongoganizira za kusoweka kwa chikondi muubwenzi wanu ndi mwamuna wanu, pangani ubwenzi wabwino ndi inu nokha. Mukakhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa ndi watanthauzo, mumathera nthawi yochepa kuganiza kuti mwamuna wanu alibe chikondi kapena chikondi. Choncho, dzipatseni mlingo wa kudzikonda ndi kuchita zinthu zokondweretsa inu, monga:

• Kuchita zinthu zosangalatsa ndi mnzanu
• Yankhani zomwe mumakonda
• Onerani kanema
• Konzani mbale yatsopano

Ndi zoona kuti kukondana ndi mwamuna wanu kumayamba ndi kudzikonda nokha. Ngati mukulimbana popanda chikondi kuchokera kwa mwamuna, ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane mozama ndikudzaza malo omwe mukuyembekezera kuti ena adzaze. Inde, chikondi chake ndi chitumbuwa pamwamba koma sichingalowe m'malo mwa mphamvu ya kudzikonda.

13. Bwezerani 'inu' ndi 'ife'

N’zosavuta kuimbana mlandu wina ndi mnzake chifukwa cha vuto laubwenzi. Ndipotu, anthu ambiri amangobwera kusunthitsa mlandu pamene satha kudziwa chomwe chili cholakwika ndi ubalewo. Ndi zophweka kunena kuti:

• “Umagwira ntchito kwambiri, n’chifukwa chake m’banja mulibe chikondi”
• “Mumathera nthawi yambiri ndi anzanu”
• “Simunandizindikiranso”

M'malo mwa 'inu' ndi 'ife'. M’malo moimbana mlandu, yesani kukambirana za zothetsera. Kuyang'ana mphamvu zanu pozindikira yemwe ali ndi udindo pa mtunda womwe walowa mu ubale wanu sikungagwire ntchito. Muli chikhalirebe wina ndi mzake ndipo mukugwira ntchito pamodzi kuti mutuluke m’makhalidwe anuwo. Ichi ndi chinthu chofunikira kukumbukira pakukula ngati banja.

14. Muziona kuti ubwenzi wanu ndi watsopano

Mukukumbukira chidwi chomwe mudapereka kwa wokondedwa wanu mutangoyamba kutuluka? Chitani ubale wanu chonchi pompano. M'malo mokhala kunyumba ndikudandaula kuti, "Ndilibe ubale wachikondi", chitanipo kanthu! Yambani kukopanso wokondedwa wanu. Sewerani naye, munyengererani, bweretsani kuseŵera ndi kunyoza. Zingawoneke ngati zosamveka poyamba, koma zingathandize. Bweretsani gawo la honeymoon lija. Nazi njira zina zolumikizirananso ndi okondedwa wanu:

• Siyani zazing'ono zomata zolemba zachikondi pa foni/desiki yake, kunena "Zikomo chifukwa chokhala m'moyo wanga"
• Muyimbireni foni mwachidule kuti, "M'mawa wabwino. Khalani ndi tsiku labwino, Chikondi"
• Muzikopana naye/kunena zinthu monga, “Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi?

15. Khalani anzeru m’banja lanu

Ngati mwamuna wanu sali wachikondi, yesani kubweretsa lingaliro lachilendo. M’malo mofunafuna okwatirana atsopano (ndicho chifukwa chake maukwati ambiri amalephera), yambani kufunafuna zinthu zatsopano zimene mungasangalale nazo monga okwatirana ndi kukhala ndi nthaŵi yabwino pamodzi. Pezani maulendo osiyanasiyana kuti mupitirizebe ndi kudzipereka kwamoyo; izi zidzalimbitsa kudzipereka kwanu kwaumwini m’banja lanu. Zina mwa izo zingaphatikizepo, koma sizimangokhala:

• Mtsinje wa rafting
• Kupanga mabwenzi awiri
• Vinyo akulawa
• Kusewera tenisi
• Maphunziro a Salsa / Bachata

Pomaliza, katswiri wa ubale Pooja Priyamvada imati: “Munthu ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti, potsirizira pake, ukwati sutanthauza mmodzi yekha koma aŵiri a inu.” Chotero, kukhala ndi kukambitsirana kochokera pansi pamtima ponena za kasamalidwe ka ziyembekezo ndi zimene wamba kaŵirikaŵiri amachita ndi zosafunikira kukhazikitsidwa ndi kusinthidwa nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi.

Ngati muli ndi ubale wabwino koma mulibe chilakolako, kukonza si ntchito yophweka. Koma ngati mukuyesetsa kugwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana kumeneko, tsiku limodzi pa nthawi, sikovutanso. Ngati mwamuna wanu alibe chikondi, musamuike pansi pa maikulosikopu ndipo nthawi zonse muzisonyeza chikondi, chiyamikiro, ndi kuona mtima kwa iye. Lemekezani wina ndi mnzake ndikupatsana malo kuti akule. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukuvutikira nthawi ina iliyonse, musazengereze kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri. The alangizi pa gulu la Bonobology akhoza kukuthandizani ndi izi.

Ibibazo

Kodi Moyo Umakhala Wotani Asanayambe Komanso Pambuyo pa Ukwati? Zingakhale Zosangalatsa

Mwamuna Wanga Sali Wachikondi Kapena Wachikondi Ndipo Ndatopa Kuyesa

Zizindikiro 15 Zapamwamba Zamwamuna Wodzikonda Ndipo Chifukwa Chiyani Ali Chotere?

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.