Abahlobo abakhulu bayazana njengomva wesandla sabo. Unokuxhomekeka kubo ukuba ube yi-cheerleader yakho engcono kunye nomgxeki wakho omkhulu. Oku kwakhona kwenza ubudlelwane ngokungaphephekiyo ukuba obusenyongweni. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa uthandana nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni?
Ulwalamano olusenyongweni olwenziwa ngabahlobo abasenyongweni lolohlobo olulodwa. Imbali ukuba nobabini wadala kunye kuthetha ukuba yakho uqhagamshelwano ikwinqanaba elahlukileyo. Nobabini unokukuxabisa ukuthula kunye, niqale ukucinga ngokufanayo kwaye nihloniphe imilinganiselo yomnye nomnye.
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Wenza ntoni xa uthandana nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni?
Isiqulatho
Olu hlobo lokusondelelana luyafuneka xa ukubudlelwane bothando. Ngelixa abahlobo besenokungasoloko bebandakanyeka kwezothando, amaqabane athandanayo ayazuza ngokuba ngabahlobo omnye komnye. Oku kuthetha ukuba ngamanye amaxesha, abahlobo bakho abasenyongweni kulula ukuthandana nabo.
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Ukuvuma uthando lwakho, nangona kunjalo, kunokuba nzima ngakumbi apha. Uyoyika ukuphulukana nabo kuba ukuba abaziva ngendlela efanayo, oko kunokwenza lonke ubudlelwane bube nzima.
Kodwa wazi njani ukuba uthandana nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni? Lo ngumbuzo onobuqhetseba kodwa umfundi waseyunivesithi oneminyaka engama-23 ubudala uMonica uthi wathi esaqala ukuba nomona ngokuthandana kwakhe wafumanisa ukuba ufumene umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni.
“Besisoloko sibaliselana ngee dates zethu kuba singabalingane besibancinci, zange sibenayo imfihlo phakathi kwethu. So ndandiwazi zonke iintombi zakhe kwaye wayewazi onke amasoka am. Kodwa ndathi ndakufika eDyunivesiti ndaqala ukumkhumbula ngayo yonke into. Wathi xa endibalisela ngentombazana awayehamba nayo andizange ndikwazi ukuyinyamezela. Ndathi xa ndimxelela ukuba angaphinde andixelele ngokuthandana kwakhe.”
Oyena mhlobo kaMonica wamothusayo nangona kunjalo. Wakhwela inqwelo-moya eya eyunivesithi yakhe waze wafika kwigumbi lakhe lokulala elineentyatyambo. Elibali lothando lomhlobo osenyongweni libe nesiphelo esimnandi kodwa ukuxelela umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukuba uyamthanda asiyonto ilula.
Ungamxelela njani uMhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukuba uyamthanda?
Ngokuqinisekileyo uyoyika indlela obuya kuphazamiseka ngayo ubuhlobo ukuba umhlobo wakho osenyongweni akanazo iimvakalelo ezifanayo ngawe. Ngoko ukufumanisa kunzima ukubaxelela. Yintoni omawuyenze xa uthandana nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni? Ngokombono wethu kukho amanyathelo ambalwa onokuthi uwathathe ukuze ukwazise umhlobo wakho ongcono malunga neemvakalelo zakho. Sikudwelisa u-5 kuwe.
1. Vuma uthando lwakho kuye
Enye yeendlela onokuxelela ngazo umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukuba uyamthanda kukuvuma nje oko. Kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba uthando ayingomdlalo okhuselekileyo onokuwudlala.
Kuya kufuneka ubheje ngayo yonke into onayo kwaye unethemba lokungcono. Rhoqo kunokuba besinokunyamekela ukuvuma, siya kuphulukana nokubheja kodwa ibhaso lokuba nomntu omthandayo lifanelekile. Awunakukhuseleka kwaye uthande, yeyona nto ilungileyo kwaye imbi kakhulu. Ngoko kufuneka uthathe umngcipheko kwaye uxelele umhlobo wakho osenyongweni malunga neemvakalelo zakho.
Amathuba ebeya kukuxelela okufanayo. Sesikubona uncumile.
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2. Cwangcisa isindululo esikhulu
Ukuba unolwazi ngeemvakalelo zabo ngakuwe, ungacwangcisa a isindululo esineenkcukacha. Sele ubazi kakuhle, nto leyo ethetha ukuba awuzukukhathazeka ngokubacaphukisa okanye ukwenza into abanokuyifumanisa ingenamsebenzi xa ubaxelela ngeemvakalelo zakho.
Usenokude akuxelele indlela anqwenela ukuba atsalwe ngayo ukuze ube nesikhokelo osinikwe ngulo mntu kanye. Sebenzisa eso sikhokelo. Sebenzisa i-status somhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukwenzela inzuzo yakho xa umxelela ukuba umwele.
3. Yiya kuvavanyo
Ndithetha i-non-kinky yokulinga apha. Zama kwaye dlala naye. Mncome ngendlela umhla olungileyo uya kuba. Jonga indlela asabela ngayo.
Kuya kufuneka ufumane umbono olungileyo wendlela aziva ngayo malunga nombono wokukujonga ngokuthandana ngokwendlela asabela ngayo. Ukuba uqhubeka ulahla iingcebiso ngale ndlela, unokuyifumana ngenye imini kwaye uya kukwazi ukuza kwinqanaba xa sele eqalile. ukubuyisela kwiingcebiso.
4. Uthandana nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni? Zizipholele nje!
Khangela, akazange akubone ekukhanyeni ngaphambili. Nokuba unayo akaqinisekanga ukuba uziva njani okanye kuyakwenzeka ntoni. Kule meko, ukuba uza ngamandla kakhulu- flirt kakhulu, zicace kakhulu, ufuna izinto zibe serious ngokukhawuleza, uya kuyonakalisa.
Lo ngumtsi omkhulu kubo nabuphi na ubuhlobo ukuba budlule. Ukuba ungumhlobo wakho osenyongweni, nangona kunjalo, izikhonkwane ziphezulu kakhulu, kwaye awufuni ukuphulukana nobo buhlobo, ngoko ke slam iziqhoboshi kwaye uthathe izinto ngokukhawuleza.
Yenzani izinto ebenisoloko nizenza kunye. Ukuhamba neqela lemigulukudu, ukuya kuhambo lwempelaveki. Mgcine ekhululekile. Ukuba uthe ngequbuliso uqhathe ungamyeka.
5. Ungalufumana uncedo
Umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngokuqinisekileyo unabahlobo abaninzi. Aba bantu bangumthombo ongasetyenziswanga onokuwusebenzisa xa uzama ukuvuma kuye. Ukuba uyoyika kakhulu ukuyithetha, yidlulisele nje ingcamango komnye wabahlobo bakhe, umhlobo omaziyo akayi kukwazi ukumelana nokumxelela ngayo.
Okanye ufumane impendulo malunga nendlela avakalelwa ngayo kuwe. Watsho njalo uJune umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. “Umhlobo wethu oqhelekileyo usandul' ukumxelela, 'Ngaba awuqaphelanga ukuba uJuni unobuqhophololo ngawe?' Ikwenzile oko.”
Kuya kufuneka ube namaqhinga apha ngaphandle kokuba nabelana nobabini iqela labahlobo. Kusoloko kukho ithuba lokuba omnye waba bantu axelele umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngeemvakalelo zakho. Ke qiniseka ukuba uyawavavanya amagama akho kwaye ugrumbe malunga nolwazi. Ewe, isenokungabi yeyokuziphatha intlola kumhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngale ndlela, kodwa uyenza ukukhusela ubuhlobo bakho, ukuze ufumane ukudlula simahla.
Nokuba ngaba umhlobo wakho osenyongweni uyazibuyisela iimvakalelo zakho onazo kubuhlobo ukuba ubuncinci uzame kwaye ufumanise ukuba kukho into enokwenzeka apho. Unokugqiba ukubeka esichengeni inxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bakho, kodwa ukuba iyaphumelela imivuzo iya kuba njengenye into.
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
Njengoko intle ukuba kunye nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni, kodwa emva kokudibana, ukuba awuhambelani naye, kulapho ingxaki yokwenene iqala khona.