I-15 ye-Boardfriend-Female Friends Imida yokuFutshwa Ngayo

Yeyiphi imida yomhlobo-owesifazane? Ukuphendula loo nto, masiqale sibuze umbuzo wakudala, “Ngaba amadoda nabafazi bangaba ngabahlobo?” Ewe! Iimuvi zisenza sivakalelwe ngenye indlela nangona kunjalo. Xa uHarry Met Sally yenye yazo. Ingcinga yokuba bonke ubuhlobo besini esahlukileyo buhlala buguquka bube luthando iyamangalisa. Inyaniso kukuba amadoda adinga ubuhlobo babasetyhini be-platonic ebomini babo kwaye abafazi bafuna ubuhlobo bamadoda be-platonic.

KwiSapadin's isifundo, amadoda alinganise ubuhlobo besini obuphezulu kumgangatho jikelele, ukonwabela, kunye nokongiwa kunobuhlobo babo besini esifanayo. Eyona nto baxela ukuba bayithanda kakhulu yayikukuthetha nabasetyhini (kwabanceda ukuba babe nembono ngesini esahlukileyo) - into abangakwaziyo ukuyenza nabahlobo babo abangamadoda. Nangona kunjalo, obu buhlobo bunokugcinwa kuphela ukuba imida enempilo ibekwe.

I-15 ye-Boardfriend-Female Friends Imida yokuFutshwa Ngayo

Ngoku ka uphando, abantu abathembisene ngomtshato, xa kuthelekiswa nabantu abangatshatanga, abathandanayo, nabatshatileyo, banezona zimo zengqondo zingathandekiyo ngokuphathelele ubuhlobo obusenyongweni besini esinye. Enye isifundo bafumanise ukuba i-64% yamadoda kunye ne-44% yabasetyhini baxela ukuba abahlobo babo besini besini baba ngamaqabane abo ngokwesondo ngaxa lithile ngexesha lobudlelwane (i-classical 'abahlobo kwizithandani'imeko). 

Ngoko ke, ubuhlobo bunethuba lokuguqukela kubudlelwane bezesondo ukuba kukho ukunqongophala kwemida yesoka-abasetyhini. Nanga amanye amacebiso kubo bonke abafazi abathandanayo nabafana abanabahlobo abaninzi ababhinqileyo:

1. Kufuneka abe elubala nawe malunga nobuhlobo bakhe basetyhini

Akukho nto iphosakeleyo kwisoka elinomhlobo osondeleyo obhinqileyo. Ukuba kubudlelwane akumele kuthethe ukuthi ndlela-ntle kumaqabane akho. Kodwa ingxaki yokwenene ivela xa isoka lakho liqala ukukufihlela izinto, njengaxa kufika ngequbuliso umhlobo omtsha obhinqileyo ukuba ngabom akakuxeleli. Ngoko, ngokulula nje, kufuneka anyaniseke ngokupheleleyo. Abafana abanabahlobo abaninzi ababhinqileyo kufuneka bacace ngezi ndlela zilandelayo:

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• “Hey, ndizokutya isidlo sasemini noRita namhlanje”
• “Wayenexhala, ngoko wanditsalela umnxeba ngo-1 am”
• "Sakhe sadibana kodwa kwakungaphambi kokuba ndidibane nawe"

2. Kufuneka akubandakanye kwizicwangciso zeqela ngamanye amaxesha

Ndakha ndanomfana owayenabahlobo abaninzi ababhinqileyo. Akanakuze enze umzamo wokuba sixubane. Ndandisoloko ndiziva ngathi ndingaphandle kwaye oku indenze ndaziva ndingakhuselekanga kakhulu. Ndithembe, xa umfana wakho engakwazisi kubahlobo bakhe ababhinqileyo, uziva engafanelekanga.

Ngoko ke, ukuba isoka lakho lisondele kakhulu kumhlobo omdala okanye omtsha obhinqileyo, kufuneka aqinisekise ukuba useka ubuhlobo phakathi kwenu nobabini, oko kukuthi, ukuba nobabini nifuna ukuba ngokunjalo. Nazi izinto ekufuneka azenze xa nihleli kunye nobathathu:

• Akufanele akwenze uzive ungabonakali kwaye kufuneka afune ukonwabela inkampani yeqabane kunye nomhlobo wakhe ngokulinganayo
• Akufunekanga athethe phezu kwakho phambi komhlobo wakhe okanye ayeke ngequbuliso yonke PDA eqhelekileyo
• Kufuneka aphule umkhenkce phakathi kwakho nomhlobo wakhe ukuze ungaziva ungekho ndawo

3. Abahlobo abangabasetyhini akufuneki basetyenziswe njengamaqabane

Khawucinge ngale meko: Ngokuthe ngcembe uye waphulukana nolwalamano olusentliziyweni yakho nomfana wakho. Kodwa akayiqondi loo nto kuba ubuhlobo bakhe basetyhini buzalisekisa bonke bakhe iimfuno zeemvakalelo. Ngokuzithoba, usebenzisa abo bahlobo njengento yokufihla, ukuphazamisa intshabalalo ezayo kubudlelwane bakho.

Ke, qiniseka ukuba akasebenzisi abahlobo bakhe njengezithinteli. Ngenye imini, ukuba uyabasusa abo bahlobo emfanekisweni, inyaniso malunga nolwalamano lwakho iya kumbetha kakhulu. Bonke ubuthathaka kunye neziphene kwibhondi ziya kukhula kwaye uya kugqiba ukubona ubudlelwane bakho ukuba buyintoni na ngokwenene.

4. Akafanele akucaphukise ngobuhlobo bakhe nabasetyhini

Yintoni enokuba mbi kunokophula imida yabahlobo abangamasoka? Yena ekwenza uzive ngathi uyaphambana! Ukuba uthandana nomfana onabahlobo abaninzi ababhinqileyo, nazi ezinye imizekelo yokulayita igesi ukuba kufuneka aphephe ukusebenzisa:

• Xa ubuza umbuzo ofanelekileyo ngendawo akuyo, usenokuthi, “Babe, kutheni ufanele wazi nje?
• “Usoloko ungakhuselekanga yaye unomona, kukho into ephosakeleyo ngawe”
• Xa umbhaqa edlala ngothando nomhlobo wakhe oyintombazana, usenokuthi, “Ngaba uza kuyeka ukuba nomsindo, kodwa ungumhlobo nje!”

5. I-Boyfriend-female abahlobo imida yokufunga - ibhalansi enkulu yeendaba zoluntu

Omnye weyona mida ibalulekileyo kumakhwenkwe kunye nabahlobo abasenyongweni ababhinqileyo kukugcina i-etiquette yemidiya yoluntu. Ukuba uthumela iifoto / amabali kunye nabahlobo bakhe ababhinqileyo kwaye akakukhankanyi kwaphela kwimidiya yakhe yentlalo, kungokwemvelo ukuba uzive ngathi ukufihla emhlabeni. Thetha naye:

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• Yintoni aziva ekhululekile ukwabelana ngayo nabalandeli bakhe ngobudlelwane bakhe bothando?
• Ukuba akakhululekanga ngaloo nto, kodwa usathumela malunga nabahlobo bakhe (nokuba bathini na ngokwesini), ungabelana ngendlela ekwenza uzive ngayo, okanye uzibuze ukuba kutheni loo nto ikwenza uzive umbi.
• Xoxa ngemida yedijithali ekufuneka ayigcine xa ethumela umfanekiso kunye nomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni osetyhini (umzekelo, kufuneka abhale iingcaphuno zobuhlobo / iinkcazo kwaye akukho nto ngaphezu koko)

6. Musa ukuvumela abahlobo bakhe bangenelele kubusuku bemihla yakho

Ukubeka imida kunye nabahlobo ababhinqileyo kuthetha ukudlulisela kubo kubaluleke kangakanani usuku lwakho ubusuku. Abahlobo bakhe kufuneka bahloniphe ixesha lakho lesibini elingcwele. Ukuba bangenelela 'kwixesha lethu' rhoqo, kunokukhokelela ekubeni imilo kubudlelwane bakho. 

Ukuba akakubeki imida nabahlobo ababhinqileyo, uya kugqiba uzive ngathi ulivili lesithathu. Awufanelanga ukuchitha ubusuku bakho bothando umamele amabali abo obuntwana. 

7. Kufuneka abeke iliso kuthando lwakhe lomzimba kunye nokusondela kubahlobo bakhe abangabasetyhini

Ewe, sifumana ukuba uyakholelwa kubudlelwane obusondeleyo beplatonic. Kodwa ngenxa yobudlelwane obunokuthula kwaye ude uziqhelanise nabahlobo bakhe besifazane kwaye uqale ukubathemba, kufuneka agcine izandla zakhe kuye. Ukudanisa ngokusondeleyo ne-bestie yakhe kunokukhokelela kumlo omde kwi-drive ebuyela ekhaya. Akayifuni loo nto, akunjalo?

Ngoko ke, nokuba usondele kakhulu kumhlobo osetyhini, akafanele abandakanyeke kunxulumano lomzimba ngaphaya kokusondelana okuqhelekileyo. Kwaye ihamba ngaphandle kokutsho, kufuneka aphephe a abahlobo-ngeenzuzo imeko. Oko ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kubala njengokungathembeki ukuba ulwalamano lwenu lolomfazi omnye.

8. Akafanele ukuhleba ngawe kumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni

Ukuhleba kunokuba mnandi kwaye kuyonwabisa. Kodwa ebeya kuvakalelwa njani ukuba iitafile bezinokujikwa? Ayizukuba buhlungu kuye xa enokufumanisa ukuba ukhohlakele?

Enyanisweni, a isifundo wafumanisa ukuba ukuxoxa ngeengxaki zothando neqabane ekuthethwa ngalo kuye kwaba nempembelelo entle kulwalamano, ngoxa “ukulifulathela iqabane ukuya kumhlobo kusenokwandisa iingxaki zobudlelwane kuphela kuze kubangele ukungazinzi kwezothando.” 

Mhlawumbi ukuhleba ngumkhwa wakhe ongekho zingqondweni okanye uziva engakhuselekanga ngokwaneleyo ukuba angathetha nawe. Nokuba zithini na izizathu zakhe, ukuhleba okungenamsebenzi kunokuba nefuthe elibi ekuthembeni/ukusondelana kubudlelwane bakho bothando. Nazi ezinye izinto AKUFUNEKA azixelele abahlobo bakhe ngobudlelwane benu:

• I-nitty-gritty yobomi bakho bokwabelana ngesondo (iingcamango zesondo, ukuba ulalana kangaphi, njl.njl.)
• Iimfihlo zakho, ukungakhuseleki, kunye nokusilela kobudlelwane obudlulileyo
• Urhola malini/ngubani ohlawulela ntoni
• incasa yakho embi izipho

9 Makangathethi ngenxa yomhlobo wakhe oyinkazana

Ukuba wenzela umhlobo wakhe osetyhini izigqibo, kufuneka ayiyeke ngoku. Ayikokungahloniphi kuphela, kodwa luphawu lokuba uzama ukuba ngumnini nokulawula. Ewe, ngabahlobo abalungileyo, kodwa akufuneki ukuba ahambe ebonisa ukuba basondele kangakanani kubo bonke abantu ngokuthetha egameni lakhe malunga nezinto azithandayo, azithandiyo kunye nezimvo.

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Indlela abaphatha ngayo abahlobo bakhe abangamantombazana ekugqibeleni inokuthontelana kuwe. Ngoko, qwalasela ukuziphatha kwakhe nesimo sengqondo esibangqongileyo ngononophelo.

10. Kufuneka azenzele ezakhe izimvo ngawe

Ngoku ka uphando, kungenzeka ukuba ube nesitali/ubudlelwane obuphilileyo ukuba amaqabane akho ayakuvuma oko. Oko kuthethiweyo, hlala ukhumbula ukuba ukuvunywa kwabahlobo bakhe ababhinqileyo akukuphela kovavanyo lwe-litmus. Ngamanye amaxesha, nabahlobo banokuyifumana ingalunganga, akunjalo?

Mhlawumbi uneentloni yaye abahlobo bakhe abenzi nzame zokukutsalela kuye. Mhlawumbi benza impazamo enkulu ekucingeni kwabo. Unokuhlala ephulaphula oko abahlobo bakhe bakutshoyo. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, kufuneka azenzele olwakhe uluvo, olusekelwe kumava 'awakhe'. Itshomi zakhe azinazi njengaye.

11. Kufuneka alinganise ixesha lakhe phakathi kwakho nomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni

Kwimida yomhlobo wesoka-umfazi, akanyanzelekanga ukuba akhethe amacala. Unokwenza nje ulungelelwano oluhle. Nabani na omnyanzelayo ukuba akhethe phakathi kwakho okanye umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni ngokuqinisekileyo akanamdla entliziyweni yakhe.

• Akufunekanga arhoxe izicwangciso nawe ngomzuzu wokugqibela ngenxa yabo
• Kufuneka angahlali nawe kuphela xa abahlobo bakhe bengafumaneki (kwaye ngokuphambeneyo)
• Akufunekanga wenziwe uzive ngathi ungowesibini obalaseleyo kwaye awungoyena ubalulekileyo kuye

12. Isithandwa-abasetyhini imida onokuthi ufunge ngayo - Kufuneka akuphephe ukukhokelela umhlobo wakhe phambili

Mhlawumbi uyayithanda ingqalelo yakhe okanye mhlawumbi kukho iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga kwaye woyika kakhulu ukuzivakalisa. Nokuba yintoni na ingxaki, akulunganga ukumnika iimpawu ezixubeneyo. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ezibonisa ukuba ukhokela umhlobo wakhe wasetyhini engenzi ngabom:

• Ukumxelela zonke iinkcukacha ngobomi bakhe yonke imihla
• Ukuncwasa ngokungazi okanye ukuyibiza 'kukudlala ngothando'
• Ukubonisa umona xa ehleli nomnye umntu/uyabethwa

Kuye, ukuhamba umgama omde kunye naye kunye nomculo kunokuba yinkqubo enye enkulu. Kodwa usenokuba wenza impazamo ngokukholelwa ukuba lusuku. Usenokuba ufunda phakathi kwemigca okanye ufumana isubtext kwezona zenzo zakhe zilula, kwaye akholelwe ukuba umnika 'ivibe'. Oku kunokubuyisela kakubi ngokwenene. Uthando olungafunekiyo kubuhlungu, emva koko.

13. Makangabinayo ingxaki yerelationship nomntu angathandani naye

Ukuba uthululela umhlobo othile ngokumncoma nangezipho, oko kunokumlahlekisa. Uye wavumela imiqobo kunye nemida ukuba ihambe ngenxa yokuba ekhululekile kunye naye. Kodwa usenokuyitolika ngendlela eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo. 

Kuyakhathaza ukuba yena nomhlobo wakhe baxabene kwaye balungise njengoko besiya kwenza isibini. Ukuba balandelana baze bacenge omnye komnye ukuba banganikezeli kwi-bond, bobabini banjalo bekhokela omnye komnye kwaye inokwenzakala kule nkqubo. Ukwenye irelationship ngaphandle kokwazi. Kwaye uneengxaki zobudlelwane nomntu angathandani naye.

14. Ufanele agcine imizila yonxibelelwano ivulekile yaye enembeko ukuba unokukuxhalabela ngokufanelekileyo abahlobo bakhe abangamabhinqa

Mhlawumbi ubizwa ngokuba 'nomntu' okanye 'ukungakhuselekanga' ngalo lonke ixesha uvakalisa okukukhathazayo. Okanye mhlawumbi kufuneka ubukele umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni ethandana naye kuyo yonke indibano kunye nomsitho wolonwabo. Zoba umda wakho. Ukuba idrama ifikelela kwimpilo yakho yengqondo, kwaye akabonisi mqondiso wokujongana nengxaki, ngoko lixesha lokuyiqhawula. 

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Ufanelwe ngumntu okwenza uzive ubonwa kwaye uve. Ufanelwe kukuphathwa ngentlonipho, njengento ephambili komnye umntu. Ke, jonga kancinci kwaye wenze ukhetho oluya kuxhamla 'ulonwabo lwakho' lwexesha elide. Ukuba oko kufuna ukuba umkhulule, makube njalo. 

15. Akafanelanga axelise amasiko obudlelwane bakho nabahlobo bakhe abangabafazi

Ezinye izinto zenzelwe nina nobabini kuphela. Ukuba ngokunothando ukubiza ngokuthi “Baby” kodwa esebenzisa elo gama ukuthetha nabo bonke abahlobo bakhe abangamabhinqa, ungamxelela ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akrwele umgca. Ngokufanayo, ukuba nobabini ninesiko lokutya eMcDonald's ngeCawa emva kwemini, kungcono angalingisi oko kunye nabahlobo bakhe ababhinqileyo.

Ekugqibeleni, ungalibali indlela yokuzithanda, ngelixa ubeka imida yesoka-abasetyhini. Ewe, uliqabane lomntu kodwa esi sesinye sezazisi ezininzi onazo. 

Musa ukulibala iimfuno zakho. Thatha ixesha lakho, ujonge ubuwena ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho. Zithini iinjongo zakho ngekhondo lomsebenzi? Yintoni ekuluhlu lwakho lwamabhakethi?

Ungamthemba njani umntu othandana naye onabahlobo ababhinqileyo

Ukuba inkwenkwe yakho inomhlobo osondeleyo obhinqileyo, wazi njani ukuba ayinguye uPam kuJim wakho? Kuthekani ukuba ekugqibeleni unguKaren ukusuka Ofisi? Nanga amanye amacebiso ngendlela yokumthemba isoka lakho nabahlobo ababhinqileyo:

• Isithandwa sakho kufuneka sinyaniseke / singafihli / sibandakanye
• Cacisa iiflegi zakho ezibomvu ngokucacileyo (iifowuni zasebusuku ebusuku kunye naye, ufihla izinto, njl.
• Yenza imida obuya kuyilandela kwimeko yabahlobo bakho abangamadoda
• Musa ukuziphatha e indlela yokwenziwa ndlongondlongo nabahlobo bakhe abangabafazi
• Musa ukulindela ukuba uza kubaqhawula ngokupheleleyo abahlobo bakhe kuba nje efuna ukuthomalalisa ukungakhuseleki kwakho
• Cacisa indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngomona, “Oku kundenza ndingakhululeki/ndinexhala lokuba … ”
• Nika iqabane lakho indawo eyaneleyo yokuba nobomi obungaphandle kobudlelwane
• Zama ukubazi abahlobo bakhe ababhinqileyo (yakha ubuhlobo nabo)
• Thetha ngekhwele lakho kubantu abangakhethi buso, njengabantakwenu/abanye abahlobo/ugqirha

Ngokuphathelele imida yomhlobo-owesifazane, umfundi kwi Quora wabhala: “Isivumelwano siphakathi kwabantu ababini nangaphezulu.

Njengoko ebonisa ngokufanelekileyo, ukuba isoka lakho linabahlobo abaninzi ababhinqileyo, soloko unxibelelana nomntu wakho. Ukuba omnye umhlobo obhinqileyo usoloko efuna ukuhlala naye okanye ukuba isoka lakho likhusela abahlobo bakhe abangabasetyhini kakhulu, vele uthi, “Heyi, le nto indenza ndingakhululeki.

Okokugqibela, ukuba usazamana nendlela yokumthemba isoka lakho nabahlobo ababhinqileyo, ungasoloko ufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha. Okufanayo kuyinyaniso kubafana abangakwaziyo ukubeka imida ephilileyo kunye nabahlobo besini esahlukileyo. Yethu abacebisi kwiphaneli yeBonobology kukucofa nje kude.

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