Ngaba uzinikele, ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo kwaye ucinga ngokuthatha inyathelo elilandelayo kunye neqabane lakho? Bekufanele ukuba ubudlala ngothando ngombono wokuhlala kunye, ukuhlalisana, nokuba awukathethi ngokungena neqabane lakho okwangoku. Njengoko abantu abadala ngakumbi nangakumbi e-US bayalibazisa okanye ukuncama umtshato, ngokutsho a Uphando lwePew, ukuhlalisana ngokukhawuleza kuba ngumgangatho wegolide wobudlelwane obuzinzileyo, bexesha elide.
Nokuba ufuna ukubopha iqhina ngaxa lithile ezantsi komgca, ukuhlala kunye kuqala kuthathwa njengenxalenye yendalo yokukhula kunye nokuqhubela phambili kubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yokuba ukuhlalisana kusebenza kuninzi lwezibini, akuthethi ukuba kuya kuba njalo nakuwe. Ngokuchaseneyo, inokujika ibe sesona sigqibo silungileyo sobudlelwane bakho kunye neqabane lakho.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kuyanceda ukuqonda ukuba kuqukwa ntoni na ukuhlala kunye, iingenelo zayo kunye nezinto ezisilelayo kunye neziphumo kubudlelwane bakho ngaphambi kokuba uthathe umtsi. Makhe singene nzulu ekusebenzeni kwangaphakathi kokuhlalisana ukuze sikuncede wenze isigqibo esinolwazi malunga nokuba ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato kuyingcamango embi okanye ilungile.
Ithini Inkcazo Yokuhlalisana?
Isiqulatho
Ukuhlalisana kuthetha ukuba abantu ababini abahlala phantsi kophahla olunye ngaphandle kokutshata ngokusemthethweni. Ngelixa izibini ezihlalisanayo zisenokungabi naso isitampu esisemthethweni semvume, zinokuba namalungelo adibeneyo epropati, i-akhawunti yebhanki edibeneyo okanye uxanduva lwasemthethweni lwabantwana ekusenokwenzeka ukuba babenabo ngethuba behlala ndawonye.
Ngokwesiqhelo, ukuhlalisana kujongwa njengenye indlela yomtshato apho nihlala kunye njengamaqabane obomi kodwa ngaphandle kwezinto zomtshato okanye izinto ezisemthethweni zomtshato. Kwizibini ezininzi zanamhlanje, le nkululeko kwizohlwayo zoluntu kunye nezombuso kubudlelwane babo yenye yeenzuzo ezinkulu zokuhlalisana emtshatweni.
Kwabanye, ukuhlalisana kujongwa njengolwalamano lomfazi omnye olunokuba sisiqalo somtshato. Oku kubizwa ngokuba kukuhlalisana ngaphambi komtshato. Kodwa ayizizo zonke izibini ezihlalisana kule mihla ezijonga umtshato njengencopho yobudlelwane babo.
Kula maxesha angoku, i-dynamics ye-cohabitation iya ikhula ngakumbi kwaye iguquguqukayo. Umzekelo, abahlali ababini kwigumbi ubuhlobo-kunye-ngeenzuzo ukuhlala kunye ukuze kwabelwane ngerenti nako kungachazwa njengokuhlalisana. Isibini esihlalisanayo sinokuba kubudlelwane obuvulelekileyo. Ngelixa belinga namanye amaqabane, ukuhlalisana kuyabasebenzela kuba banokuba nobudlelwane obuzinzileyo, obungundoqo ngokunjalo.
Iinzuzo zexesha elide zokuhlalisana zabonwa kakhulu kwimeko yobudlelwane be-LGBTQ ukusukela kude kube mva nje, uninzi lwamazwe e-US aluzange lusemthethweni imitshato yesini esifanayo kwaye amazwe amaninzi kwihlabathi jikelele akakayenzi.
Nguwuphi umzekelo wokuhlalisana?
Masiqale ngomzekelo wesibini esidumileyo eHollywood. Abadlali beqonga uGoldie Hawn noKurt Russell baqala indlela yokuphila yokuhlalisana kudala phaya ngo-1983. Ukususela ngoko bekukho uqikelelo olungapheliyo malunga nomtshato onokwenzeka kodwa isibini sakhetha ukungaze sitshate ngokusemthethweni.
Kwiminyaka engama-37, bebehlalisana kwaye bengabazali kwinkanyezi yaseHollywood uKate Hudson. UKate yintombi yowayesakuba ngumyeni kaGoldie uBill Hudson. Kodwa kuKate, uGoldie noKurt ngabazali ahlala ebajonge. Abadlali bakwaOliver Hudson kunye noWyatt Russell.
Ngoko ke, ukuba unexhala lokuba ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato kuyingcamango embi kwikamva lobudlelwane bakho, yazi ukuba unokwakha iqhina elihlala lihleli nangaphandle kwesitampu somtshato. Kunikwe ukuba phantse I-50% yemitshato yase-US iphelela kuqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukwahlukana, 'de sahlulwe kukufa' akuqinisekwanga.
Njengoko uGoldie Hawn ephinda-phinda kudliwano-ndlebe oluninzi, "Udinga unxibelelwano kunye nokuhambelana ukuze nibe kunye. Nokuba niyahlalisana okanye nitshatile ayizukusebenza ngaphandle kokuba ukulungele ukunikela konke okusemandleni akho kubudlelwane."
Kufuneka sitsho ukuba ayizizo zonke izibini ezihlala ixesha elide. Uninzi lukhetha ukubopha iqhina xa bejonga imiba yexesha elide lobudlelwane. Kodwa asizizo zonke izibini ezihlala kunye ezikuwo emtshatweni.
Ngaba uluntu luyakwamkela ukuhlalisana? Uphononongo loPhando lwePew olwenziwe ngo-2019 lukwabonisa ukuba iipesenti ezingama-69 zabantu baseMelika baziva kulungile ukuhlalisana nokuba abacwangciseli ukutshata. Ishumi elinesithandathu ekhulwini lathi ukuhlalisana kwamkelekile kuphela xa izibini zifuna ukwenza isandulela somtshato kwaye kuphela i-14% eyathi ukuhlalisana akuzange kwamkeleke.
Enyanisweni, i-cohabitation vs izibalo zomtshato ikwabonisa ukuba 53% of baseMelika batshatile ngoku ehle ukusuka 58% ngo-1995. Okwangoku, 66% yabantu abadala abatshatileyo e-US babehlalisana ngaphambi kokuba batshate.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Umtshato VS Live-In Relationship: Yonke into obufuna ukuyazi
Ukuhlalisana Vs Umtshato
Xa kuxoxwa ngezinto ezingalunganga zokuhlalisana, kudla ngokuthiwa ukuhlala kunye kuza nalo lonke uxinezeleko kunye nemisebenzi yomtshato, kuthatyathwe amalungelo asemthethweni.
Ukuhlalisana kusenokungabi semthethweni njengomtshato kodwa ukuba nihlala kunye njengesibini ngoko umthetho awunakuphazamisana nobomi bakho kunye nezigqibo. Kodwa kwaye ayinaso isitampu esisemthethweni somtshato esinika amaqabane amalungelo athile ngokuzenzekelayo.
Xa abantu ababini betshatile, ubunini bepropati, ukugcinwa kwabantwana, uxanduva lwamatyala kunye namalungelo ilifa akhuselwe yimithetho esemthethweni. Kodwa oko akwenzeki kwimeko yezibini ezihlalisanayo. Kungenxa yezi ziphumo zisemthethweni zokuhlalisana apho uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo zithatha isigqibo sokwenza ubudlelwane babo ngokusesikweni ngokutshata nokuba ilungiselelo lokuhlala libasebenzela kakuhle.
Nangona kunjalo, abantu abaninzi ngakumbi e-US bakhetha ukuhlala kunye. Ukuhlalisana Iinkcukacha-manani zibonisa ukuba phakathi kwe-1970 kunye ne-1990 inani lezibini ezihlala kunye e-US zenyuka ukusuka kwi-523,000 ukuya kwi-3 yezigidi. Amanani aye aphindeka kane kwiminyaka engama-20. Ngoku u inani limile kwizigidi ezingama-17.
Zininzi izizathu zokuhlalisana. Okokuqala, izibini ezitshatileyo zifuna ukufumanisa ukufanelana kwazo ngaphambi kokuba zifune ukuzibophelela emtshatweni. Kwakhona, ukuhlalisana kunezizathu zemali. Umtshato ngumcimbi obiza imali eninzi, abantu abaninzi basahlawula imali mboleko yomfundi xa beqala ukuhlalisana kunye nokuhlala kunye yindlela enhle yokwabelana ngerenti kunye neendleko zemihla ngemihla.
Enye into ephambili ehlala ingahoywa kwingxoxo yokuhlalisana vs umtshato irhafu yesohlwayo somtshato leyo ihlawuliswa e-US. Izibini ezifumana imivuzo ephezulu zifanele zihlawule irhafu engakumbi xa zitshata kodwa izibini ezinemivuzo ephantsi okanye iintsapho ezinomvuzo omnye zinikwa ibhonasi yomtshato. Kwakhona, xa isibini esitshatileyo sithenga ikhaya kufuneka sihlawule inzala yemali-mboleko ephezulu kakhulu.
Ngoko ke izibalo zemali zisebenza ngcono ngokuhlalisana kunomtshato. Oku ngokungathandabuzekiyo phakathi kweenzuzo zexesha elide zokuhlalisana. Nangona isibini esitshatileyo sinamalungelo angakumbi asemthethweni.
Ziziphi izinto eziluncedo ngokuhlalisana?
Namhlanje, njengoko besanda abantu abatsha bekhetha ukuhlalisana, bayayikhumbula imiceli mngeni enokubakho kunye nemiqobo abanokuthi bajongane nayo endleleni kwaye bathathe amanyathelo abonakalayo okuphelisa imiba ethe yathwaxa izizukulwana zangaphambili.
Kunokuba bangene nje kunye neqhaga leqabane, isitokhwe kunye nomgqomo ngokungxama, bakhethe isivumelwano sokuhlalisana esiya kubavumela ukuba bangazikhathazi ngotyalo-mali oludityanelweyo lwepropathi okanye ukugcinwa kwabantwana xa beceba ukuhamba ngeendlela zabo ezahlukeneyo.
Izibalo zophando lwePew ziphinda zibonisa ukuba i-65% yabantu baseMelika bafuna izibini ezihlala kunye zibe namalungelo asemthethweni njengezibini ezitshatileyo. Kodwa de kwenzeke oko, isivumelwano sokuhlalisana sivumela iingenelo ezithile kwisibini esihlalisanayo.
Xa kwenziwe ngendlela, ezinye iingenelo zexesha elide zokuhlalisana ziquka:
1. Amalungelo obunini
Ivumela ubunini be-50:50 kwisibini xa betyala imali kunye kwipropati. Amalungelo acace kakhulu kwaye akukho ndawo inzima. Ngoko ke, ukuba isibini sigqibe kwelokuba sahlukane akukho zingxaki zomthetho kumalungelo epropathi kuba yonke into ibhaliwe kwisivumelwano sokuhlalisana.
2. Isivumelwano semali
Ukuba ilungiselelo livuliwe iindleko zokwabelana ikhutshwe ngokucacileyo, ichaza ukuba omabini amaqabane angenza malini kwi-mortgage kunye ne-EMI, i-inshurensi njalo njalo, akukho ngxabano rhoqo malunga nezezimali. Le yinzuzo enkulu kuba izibini ezitshatileyo azinasivumelwano esifana nesi sokubuyela umva xa zijongene nemicimbi yemali.
3. Ukugcinwa kunye nokugcinwa
Kwimeko yokwahlukana, akukho mfuneko yokulwa idabi elibi lokugcinwa. Omabini amaqabane angenza isigqibo kwangaphambili malunga nokugcinwa kunye nokugcinwa kwabantwana xa bekhetha ukwahlukana. Isivumelwano somzali omnye sele sikhona ukuze ukwahlukana kube lula.
4. Yehlisa uxinzelelo
Ekubeni omabini amaqabane ehlala kunye ngaphandle kwenkululeko yokuzikhethela yaye kungekhona ngenxa yokuba emanyene ngomtshato, ulwalamano lusenokungacinezeleki kangako. Enye yeenzuzo zokuhlalisana emtshatweni kukuba unokuhamba ngaphandle kokuxakwa kwidabi loqhawulo-mtshato elithatha ixesha elide, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwezemali ukuba ubudlelwane abusebenzi.
5. Ukusondelana okukhulu
Nokuba nihlala kunye ukuvavanya ukuhambelana kwenu njengamaqabane obomi okanye nikhethe indlela yokuphila yokuhlalisana ukuze nabelane ngobomi benu, inokuzisa ukusondelana okukhulu kubudlelwane. Ukuhlala nomntu kukuvumela ukuba ubaqonde ngeendlela ukuba kubudlelwane nje awukwazi. Kwangaxeshanye, ukuhlalisana kuthetha ukuba niyakwazi ukuhlalisana ngaphandle kokuxabana okuza nomtshato. Ngamafutshane, inokuba yindawo emnandi phakathi kokuba nobudlelwane kunye nokutshata okukusondezayo kwaye komeleze iqhina lakho.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ukuhamba Kunye Uluhlu Lokutshekisha-Yazi UkuLungela Kwakho
Ziziphi izinto ezingeloncedo ngokuhlalisana?
Ngelixa ukuhlalisana kuneengenelo ezininzi ngenxa yokuba niza nazana ngcono, kukwanezinto ezingeloncedo. Ezinye zezinto ezingalunganga zokuhlalisana ziquka:
1. Ukwazi kakhulu
Ngamanye amaxesha ukwazana kakhulu kunokuba yingxaki. Izibini ezininzi zikhawuleza zicatshukiswe bubukho bomnye yaye oko kwaqala njengentshayelelo yomtshato kunokupheliswa ngokukhawuleza. Ekubeni bengabotshwanga ngokwasemthethweni njengomtshato, umbandela omncinane unokukhokelela ekubeni isibini sahlukane.
2. Ukungakhuseleki kubudlelwane
Enye yeziphumo ezingathandekiyo zokuhlalisana kukuba ukoyisa ukungakhuseleki kubudlelwane inokuba nzima. Oku kuyinyaniso ngakumbi ukuba elinye iqabane likujonga ukuhlala kunye njengenyathelo lokuya emtshatweni lize elinye likugqale njengosukelo lokugqibela. Oku kudla ngokudala iingxaki kubudlelwane.
3. Ulindelo luyanda
Nokuba isibini siqala ukuhlalisana okwexeshana elifutshane, iqhina elingokweemvakalelo liya kukhula. Elinye iqabane linokulindela ukuba olo lwalamano luhlale luhleli yaye lide lilindele ukutshata ngaxa lithile ngoxa elinye lisenokungakulungeli oko. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, iintanda ziyakhula kubudlelwane kwaye kusenokufuneka udlule kumava abuhlungu ukwahlukana nomntu ohlala naye.
4. Imiba yokuthemba
Abantu abatshatileyo bathanda ukuthembana ngakumbi kwaye bazive bekhuselekile kubudlelwane babo kunabo bahlala kunye. Imvakalelo yokuba inokuphela nangaliphi na ixesha isenokubonakala inkulu, ikhokelele kwimiba yokuthembana phakathi kwamaqabane. Ngokungabikho konxibelelwano olucacileyo nolunempilo kunye nokusekuhleni, izibini ezihlala kunye zingazifumana zisebenza nzima ngokuphindiweyo ukwakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane.
5. Ukhuseleko lwabantwana
Ukungakhuseleki okufanayo izibini ezihlala kunye ezihlangabezana nako kunokuchaphazela nabantwana babo. Uloyiko lokuba abazali babo banokuhlukana nangaliphi na ixesha lunokuba yimvakalelo engathandekiyo abanokukhula nayo. Ngaphandle koko, ukuba iingxaki ezintsonkothileyo zokugcinwa kwabantwana kunye nokuba ngumzali omnye kwimeko yokwahlukana azikhawuleziswanga kwangaphambili, idabi lezomthetho elilandelayo linokuba buhlungu kubazali nakubantwana.
Kutheni Izibini Ezingakumbi Zihlalisana?
Njengoko izibalo zokuhlalisana ziye zabonisa, ziya zisanda izibini ezikhetha ukuhlala kunye endaweni yokuba zibophe iqhina. Nangona ezinye izibini zisenokutshata ekugqibeleni, umbuzo wokuqala awufane ube ngulo, “Ngaba uza kunditshata?” Amaxesha amaninzi, ithi, “Ngaba uyakwenza ngena nam? "
Kutheni bebaninzi nangakumbi abantu abakhetha ukuhlalisana? Nazi ezinye iziphumo zokuhlalisana eziqhuba lo mkhwa:
1. Akukho nkolelo kwilungiselelo lomtshato
Olu tshintsho ukusuka emtshatweni ukuya kuhlalisana lwenzekile ngenxa yokuba uninzi lweminyaka eyiwaka abakhetha ukuhlala kulo ngoku bakhulele kuluntu apho babone imitshato iqhawuka rhoqo. I amanani oqhawulo-mtshato e US bonisa ukuba ngelixa 6.8 per 1,000 abantu e US batshata minyaka le, 3.2 per 1,000 baqhawule umtshato. Ngoko phantse isiqingatha semitshato siphela kuqhawulo-mtshato.
Ulutsha oluninzi luye lwalubona uqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali balo yaye alufuni kujamelana nalo ebomini babo. Eso sesinye sezizathu ezibangela ukuba esi sizukulwana siwulumkele umtshato. Inkululeko kwiingxaki ezisemthethweni zoqhawulo-mtshato ibonwa njengenye yeengenelo zokuhlalisana emtshatweni zizibini ezininzi.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba kufuneka Uqhawule umtshato?- Thatha olu Luhlu loQhawulo-mtshato
2. Izizathu zemali zokuhlalisana
Ngaba kuphosakele ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato? Hayi akunjalo. Izibalo zokuhlalisana zibonisa ukuba abantu abaninzi balungile ngokuhlala kunye kunangaphambili. Kwaye abaninzi bakhetha indlela yokuphila yokuhlalisana ngeenzuzo eziphathekayo ezinikezelayo.
Umzekelo: izibini ezikhetha ukuhlalisana ngenxa yezizathu zemali. Kuqoqosho oluguquguqukayo - ngenxa yokudodobala koqoqosho, ukunyuka kwamaxabiso, kwaye ngoku ubhubhani wehlabathi osele uqhube unyaka onesiqingatha - abantu bahlala bekhathazwa kukuphelelwa ngumsebenzi, amanqanaba emivuzo ephantsi kunye noxinzelelo lomsebenzi. Ezi zinto zingena endleleni yokutsibela emtshatweni kunye nokuqalisa usapho.
Ukunyuka kweerenti, amaxabiso ezindlu kunye nokuncipha kwemarike yomsebenzi kuphosa abantu abaninzi kwi ingxaki yekota yobomi kunanini na ngaphambili. Uninzi lweminyaka eyiwaka aluze luzive luzinzile ngokwezimali ngokwaneleyo emtshatweni. Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambilana, irhafu ehlawuliswa abantu abatshatileyo ngokwahlukileyo kubantu abangatshatanga nayo ayiwenzi ube mnandi umtshato.
Ukuhlalisana kunokuba yinto emnandi kwimeko enjalo, njengoko ikuvumela ukuba wabelane ngobomi bakho nomntu omthandayo ngaphandle kokongeza kuxinzelelo lwezemali olusele lunzima ebomini bakho.
3. Yamkelekile eluntwini
Ayizizo kuphela iziphumo ezisemthethweni ezimbalwa zokuhlalisana namhlanje kodwa iye yamkeleka ngakumbi ekuhlaleni hayi e-US kuphela kodwa nakwiindawo ezihlala abantu njengeIndiya. Abantu abagwetywa ngendlela yabo yokuphila ngokuhlalisana kwaye ihlala ibonwa njengokhetho olukhulu sisizukulwana esidala.
Izibini ezihlalisanayo zidla ngokuseka amaqhina awomeleleyo kunye neentsapho zamaqabane azo nazo, nto leyo eyenza umtshato ubonakale ungeyomfuneko kangako. Abayidingi imvume yasekuhlaleni yomtshato ukuze baphile ubomi obanelisayo. Ngoko ukuhlalisana kusebenza kakuhle ngokumangalisayo kubo.
4. Kulula ukuhamba kunye
Ekuphela kwento oyifunayo yindlu okanye indawo yokuhlala kunye. Uninzi lwabantu aluhambi nangokwemigaqo yesivumelwano sokuhlalisana. Bayavuya nje ukwabelana ngophahla olufanayo.
Ngokuthe ngcembe, bafumana indlela kulwalamano lwabo baze bagqibe enoba bafuna ukuphumelela baze batshate okanye bayakuvuyela kusini na ukuba izinto zihambe kakuhle. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, ukuhamba kunye linyathelo lokuqala elikhulu izibini ezininzi ezithatha kubudlelwane xa omabini amaqabane ezibophelele omnye komnye.
5. Ukuhlalisana kuthetha ukuba nizimisele omnye nomnye
Ayilulo lonke ubudlelwane obuphela ngokuhlalisana. Ungathandana nabantu abaninzi kodwa uceba ukuhlala kunye kuphela nomntu otyalwe kuye ngokweemvakalelo kwaye wabelane ngonxibelelwano olusondeleyo naye. Ngeendlela ezininzi, ukuhlalisana luphawu lokuba ubona iqabane lakho 'njengelo'.
Uzimisele ngabo kwaye ubona ikamva kunye nabo. Emva kwakho konke, unokwabelana ngegumbi lakho lokuhlambela kunye nebhedi yakho kuphela nomntu owabelana naye ngenqanaba elithile lokuthuthuzela kunye nokuqhelana naye.
Ngaphandle kokwabelana ngerenti okanye ukuzama ubudlelwane, ukuba abantu ababini abakubudlelwane bomntu omnye bayahlalisana, oko kuthetha ukuba bazimisele ngekamva labo. Ukuhlalisana kuthetha ukuba ubudlelwane bubekwe kwinqanaba elilandelayo.
Ngoku ekubeni unombono ocacileyo malunga nokuba yintoni ukuhlalisana kunye nendlela yokwenza umsebenzi, unokufumana impendulo ecacileyo malunga nokuba ikulungele na okanye akunjalo. Vayisha izinto ezilungileyo kunye nezingalunganga zokuhlalisana phambi kokuba uthabathe inyathelo. Kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, hlala phantsi neqabane lakho ukuze nikhuphe iinkcukacha ezingcono zelungiselelo lenu lokuhlala ngaphambi kokuba nihlale kunye ukunqanda naziphi na izinto ezothusayo ezantsi emgceni.
FAQs
A Uphando lweZiko loPhando lwePew eyenziwa 2019 ibonisa ukuba 53% of baseMelika batshatile ngoku ehle ukusuka 58 per cent ngo 1995. Okwangoku, 66% yabantu abadala abatshatileyo e-US babehlalisana ngaphambi kokuba batshate. Ke, ewe, ukuhlalisana kuyinto eqhelekileyo.
Izibini zihlala kunye kuba zifuna ukwazana ngakumbi. Maxa wambi baphuma kwiintsapho eziqhawule umtshato yaye abakholelwa emtshatweni. Kwakhona, ukuhlalisana kuya kuba sisigqibo esifanelekileyo ngokwemali kwizibini ezininzi, njengoko kunganyanzelekanga ukuba zihlawule irhafu namatyala aphezulu okuba abantu abatshatileyo, abarhola kakuhle, kufuneka benjenjalo.
Ukuhlalisana akukho mthethweni kumazwe afana neMississippi, Michigan, Florida kunye neVirginia e-US.
Ngumtshato kuphela onokukhokelela kuqhawulo-mtshato. Unokuba nesivumelwano sokuhlalisana esichaza iinkcukacha ezinjengokwahlulwa kwempahla kunye namalungelo ogcino lwabantwana. Xa isibini esihlalisanayo sahlukana ngeendlela kufuneka basihloniphe isivumelwano.
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
