Ngaba Ukuhlala Ndawonye Ngaphambi Komtshato Kuthetha Ukuba Ukulungele Ukutshata?

Ubudlelwane obuhlala kunye okanye ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato ngumtsi omkhulu wokholo kwisibini. Ngaphambi kokuba nithabathe ithuba lokuba kunye emva komtshato, ukuhlala kunye kuphela kwendlela yokuqonda omnye komnye. Njengoqheliselo oluhlekisayo lomtshato, yinto evula amehlo yokwazisa isibini kumtshato. imingeni yokuhlalisana.

Ngoku, ukuhlala kunye asingomsebenzi olula. Njengasemtshatweni, kubandakanya abantu ababini abenza uhlengahlengiso oluninzi-ukusuka ekwabelaneni ngendawo yobuqu ukuya kwezemali, ukusuka kugqabhuko-dubulo lweemvakalelo ukuya kwiiseshoni zokuzenzela, ukusuka ekuphekeni ukuya kwimiboniso-bhanyabhanya yokubukela njalo njalo.

Iimeko zokwenyani ezinjalo zisebenza njengovavanyo lokwenyani lobudlelwane bothando. Njengoko ningabantu 'ababini' abaneqela lezazisi elithi 'mna', kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlalutya ukuba nobabini nikulungele na sivume 'thina'ndigcina' njengoko injalo. Kodwa, ngaba sinokutsho ukuba ukuhlala uhleli nje ixesha elide kukulungiselela umtshato?

Ewe, makhe siphonononge ukuba ukuhlala kunye kuyakunceda na ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuthatha uhambo okanye hayi.

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Ngaba Licebo Elilungileyo Ukuhlala Ndawonye Ngaphambi Kokutshata?

Njengoko bekuxoxiwe ngaphambili, ukuhlalisana neqabane yinto evula amehlo ebazisa bobabini kumhlaba ocelomngeni ongaphambili. Kutshanje, bekukho ukunyuka okuthe gqolo kokuhlalisana kwezi zibini kweli lizwe.

Kodwa nangona le meko, ukuba izibini zihlala kunye ingxoxo iyaqhubeka. Abantu beza kunye phila-ngaphakathi vs umtshato izimvo kwaye abanye bafunga nge imithetho yegolide lokuhlala kunye ebekwazile ukusebenza.

Ibe yifomula evavanyiweyo kwaye ivavanyiwe ukuba izibini zazane kwindawo yazo, kodwa zininzi ngempumelelo kwaye bendlela yokuhlala kunye ngokunjalo. Phantse zonke iimetro zaseIndiya zikwaqhelekile ukuhlala kwindawo yokuhlala. Ulutsha oluninzi oluhlala kude neentsapho zalo lukhetha ukuhlalisana namaqabane abo kwaye luvavanye ukuhambelana nokuzinikela kwabo.

Umzekelo ofanayo wabonwa eUnited States apho amanani okuhlalisana abonisa isibini kwisithathu sezibini ezitshatileyo ezitshatileyo ngo-2012, zazihlala kunye ngaphambi kokutshata.

Ngaba imitshato ihlala ixesha elide ukuba nihlala kunye kuqala? Izibalo zokuhlalisana e-US zibonise ukuba izibini zihlala kunye ekuqaleni kwe-1968 kwaye abo bahlala kunye babenemitshato emide kunye nemitshato encinci.

Kwakhona kwinkcubeko edumileyo yaseIndiya, ukuhlalisana kube yinto esebenza ngokumangalisayo koosaziwayo abaninzi. Abaninzi bade batshata namaqabane abo ahlala nabo kwaye banandiphe ubuhlobo kunye nobuqabane abafanele bajonge kubo. Ngaba ayingomkhwa omkhulu ongqina ukuba i-live-ins ngokuqinisekileyo inekamva elizayo? Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo sicinga njalo.

Kufuneka uphile ixesha elingakanani ngaphambi kokuba utshate?

Lide kangakanani ixesha lokuba isibini sigqibe kwelokuba sitshate okanye singatshati? Lo mbuzo uludida uninzi lolutsha olusadlala ngengcamango yokuhlalisana. Kwizibini ezinjalo, nazi iindaba ezimnandi. Ukulinda iminyaka emithathu okanye ngaphezulu kwandisa amathuba okuba ungene kumtshato ongcwele.

Ide inciphise amathuba okuqhawula umtshato ngama-50 ekhulwini. Ke, xa uqala ipateni yokuhlala, zama kwaye uvulekele iqabane lakho malunga nexesha leminyaka emi-3+ ukwenza isigqibo malunga izicwangciso zexesha elide yomtshato. Oku kuya kunigcina nobabini kwiphepha elifanayo, kwaye kucace gca ithuba eligudileyo lokuguqulela ubomi obanelisayo kumtshato owonwabileyo. Kodwa, oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uchithe iminyaka eyi-3+ kwindawo yokuhlala.

Kwizibini ezininzi, ukuqonda kunokuza ngaphambi kwayo. Apha, sicebisa ukuba uhambe nemvakalelo yakho yamathumbu. Xa uziva ukuba ixesha lilungile kwaye ufumene 'oyena', ungacela umtshato kuye.

Ukuba uthe waphawula uninzi lwezinto ezifunekayo ezichazwe ngasentla njengo 'ewe', ke amathuba alungile ukuba uye wahamba ngesikhephe kwisigaba sakho sokuhlala ngempumelelo kwaye ukulungele ukutshata. Xa sijonga iimeko zangoku, iingcali zethu zobudlelwane zivakalelwa kukuba 'ukuhlalisana ngaphambi kokuba bazibophelele' iya kuba sisitshixo sokuqonda kulutsha oluninzi ukuba lugqibe ukuhambelana kwabo ngobulumko.

Kodwa leliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuya ngena kunye? Inokuba lixesha apho uziva ufuna ukubuyela ekhaya kulowo umthandayo. Xa ulungile nge-farts kunye ne-warts, iinwele ezidibeneyo kwaye akukho mbonakalo ye-make-up ayikukhathazi kwaye ukhangele phambili ekubeni sekhitshini kunye.

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Wazi njani ukuba ukulungele ukutshata emva kokuhlala kunye?

Emva kokuchitha ixesha elininzi nihlalisana, umtshato ngokuqinisekileyo ubonwa njengenyathelo elihamba kancinci okanye inguqu kwizibini ezihlala kwizibini.

Kodwa ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato akusoloko kuthetha ukuba nikulungele ngokupheleleyo ukuqhina iqhina. Izibini ezininzi ziyasilela ukuhlolisisa enoba zitshata nje kuba nje zifuna umtshato okanye ziyavisisana kusini na. Ukuba usathandabuza ukuba umtshato kufuneka ube linyathelo lakho elilandelayo nalu uluhlu lokukhangela olunokukunceda ukuba wenze isigqibo sokuba ukulungele na ukubethelwa okanye hayi.

1. Ndinemincili ngeziqalo ezintsha zobomi

Iqabane lakho elihlala naye lizise 'i-Midas touch' ebomini bakho. Uziva uziva ugqibile njengoko ekwenze wangumntu ongcono.

Uziva unethemba ngakumbi kubukho bakhe kunaye nawuphi na omnye umntu. Ufumene utshintsho olukhulu kwindawo yakho yobuqu kwaye ugxile kubomi bobuchwephesha emva kokuba beze ebomini bakho, nto leyo efuzisela ukukhula.

Ngamafutshane, uziva ngathi zezona ziphembelela ubomi bakho obusemgangathweni kwaye uyakuvuyela ukuba kunye nabo

2. Ukugcina umtshato ungaphezulu komtshato

Unyanisile umntu xa esithi, 'umtshato uthabatha iiyure, kodwa umtshato uhlala ubomi bonke.' Ukuba nobabini nityalwe ngokulinganayo kwi umgangatho womtshato wakho ukuthumela ukuhlalisana kunye ubomi bakho bonke, ke olu luphawu olukhulu lokuqinisekisa 'kunye ngonaphakade'

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3. Uyakuvuyela ukonwabela ubomi bemihla ngemihla

Ukuba kwindawo yokuhlala kukwazisile kuxanduva lwemihla ngemihla lwekhaya. Emtshatweni, isibini sonwabela 'ubabalo' olubizwa ngokuba lixesha lehoneymoon, kodwa ukuhlala ngaphakathi akunandawo yokuphefumla enjalo. Lo mzuzu ungena, imiceli mngeni yobomi ikhona ukuze ithathe ingqalelo yakho.

Ukufumana indlu kwirenti, ukulawula uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lwenyanga, ukucoca indlu, ukwamkela abahlobo/abahlobo beqabane lakho zezinye zeengxaki ezintsha zobomi. Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambilana, imisebenzi enjalo yemihla ngemihla iyintlekisa emtshatweni, ilungiselela isibini kucelomngeni lobomi bonke.

Ukuba nobabini niyakwazi ukwamkela utshintsho olunjalo ebomini kwaye nisenokonwaba, oko kuluphawu olukhulu lokuba niwulungele umtshato.

4. Ukuthembela kungundoqo wayo yonke into

Uhlala-ngaphakathi uye akukho Mitya encanyathiselwe, apho nawaphi na amahlakani anokuhamba-hamba nangaliphi na ixesha. Phakathi kokungaqiniseki okungaka, ukuthembana kuzisa imvakalelo yesiphumo esithuthuzelayo kumaqabane omabini. Ngoko ke, ukuba wakho thembela kwiqabane lakho ayinayo imida, ke oku kufanekisela ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo obulungele umtshato.

Ukuba kukho ukuthembana kubudlelwane ngoko ekuphela kwendlela onokucinga ngayo ukufudukela kuyo ngumtshato.

5. Ukuhambelana ngeengxabano

Bathi isibini ayisosibini ngaphandle kokuba sixambulisana ngemibandela, emikhulu okanye emincinane. Ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato kubhenca ubuthathaka obuninzi kulwalamano.

Ngamanye amaxesha, imali, umsebenzi wendlu, ibhalansi phakathi kobomi bobugcisa kunye nobomi bomntu kunokuthatha imilo yeengxabano kunye neengxabano. Kodwa, impumelelo yesibini ixhomekeke kwindlela abasebenzisa ngayo kakhulu iingxabano kunye nomjelo ngayo ukuhambelana okukhulu.

Izibini ezininzi kwi-a enempilo Ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane bazazi izinto eziphambili kubo kakuhle kwaye bangaphambili kwiimbono zabo. Abaze bathandabuze ukuxubusha kunye imicimbi ebalulekileyo yemali kunye noxanduva kwaye bazisombulule ngokufanayo. Oku kuvuleleka kubudlelwane kubonelela a isiseko esomeleleyo kumtshato osempilweni

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6. Ukusuka ukuba ukuya nini... 

Kumanqanaba okuqala xa nihlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato, omabini amaqabane akaqinisekanga enoba oku kuya kuwakhokelela kwisibingelelo esingcwele okanye akunjalo.

Phakathi kwamathandabuzo amaninzi, imingeni yehlabathi lokwenyani, isiphithiphithi, kunye neengxaki, isibini sifumana amandla kunye nokuhambelana ekuthatheni isigqibo, 'Ewe! Nguye lo endifuna ukuchitha ubomi bam kunye naye.' Ke, xa oko 'ukuba siyatshata' iba 'xa sitshata', olu luphawu olukhulu olubonisa ukuba ulungele ukubethelwa kungekudala. Kodwa xa 'nini' ihlala iffy ngoko kungcono ukuba Cinga kwakhona.

7. Ujonge phambili 'kwixesha lethu'

Nangona emva kweengxabano ezininzi kunye nokungavumelani, awukwazi ukucinga ubomi bakho ngaphandle kwakhe. Xa besiya kuhambo lomsebenzi kumazwe aphesheya, uyabukhumbula ubukho babo yaye unqwenela ukuba babuye. Xa besedolophini, onke amehlo akho nengqalelo ikubo.

Uziva unxibelelwano olukhawulezileyo kunye nekhemistri kunye nabo. Iindlela ezichukumisayo zikwenza ujonge phambili 'kwixesha lethu'. Subanexhala! Ayiyiyo ihomoni; yi uphawu olunamandla ukuba uthandana lokwenyani neqabane lakho. Halala! Ukulungele ukutshata!

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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