Ziziphi izinto ezingeloncedo kuBudlelwane be-Live-In?

Ke, ubuthandana kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo kwaye uziva ngathi izinto ziya zisiba mbi. Ufuna ukuyisa ubudlelwane bakho kwisigaba esilandelayo kodwa awukalungeli umtshato okwangoku. Ukuhlala kunye kubonakala njengenyathelo elisengqiqweni. Kodwa, ngaba ukhe wacinga ngeengozi zokuhlala kunye?

Ithegi ethi 'utshatile' ayiyonto onokuhlangabezana nayo okwangoku. Siyayiqonda loo nto. Ibandakanya uxanduva oluninzi kunye notshintsho kwindlela yokuphila kunokuba ungathanda. Uqinisekile ukuba oko kukulungele wena kunye neqabane lakho ngoku kubudlelwane obuphilayo. Kodwa khumbula, kukho iingxaki kubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane, kwakhona.

Ngaphandle kokuvakala kakhulu njengeengubo ezimanzi kwindlwane yakho yothando, sivumele ukuba sikuxelele malunga nokungalunganga kokuhlala kunye.

Kuthethwa ukuthini ngoBudlelwane obuHlala?

Ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane kuxa wena kunye neqabane lakho nithatha isigqibo sokwabelana ngendawo yokuhlala, kodwa ngaphandle kokutshata. Ke, unokwabelana ngerenti, imali, ucwangcisa ubomi bomzimba, ngokwesondo kunye nolweemvakalelo kunye, kodwa akukabikho zintsimbi zomtshato. Ingcaphephe yethu UMadhuri Y isifundisa ngendlela ubudlelwane obuhlala kuyo obahluke ngayo emtshatweni.

Uthi, “Zifana kakhulu xa kufikwa kumbandela wokwabelana ngesithuba phakathi kwabantu ababini. Umahluko usekubandakanyekeni kwesangqa sakho sentlalo kulwalamano, ngakumbi ukusebenzisana nokunxibelelana nosapho.
"Kwakhona kubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane unokuba nabelana ngophahla olufanayo kwaye ube neakhawunti yebhanki edibeneyo kodwa xa kufikwa amalungelo asemthethweni amaqabane akanayo yonke loo nto, ngakumbi xa kuthethwa ngamalungelo elifa,” wongeza uMadhuri.

Ukungalungi kobudlelwane obuphilayo

Ngaba ucinga ukuba ukuhlala-kubudlelwane kukuhamba ngokupheleleyo epakini? Cinga ukuba ukhe wazibona izibini ezikwiscreen ziyenza ibonakale ithandeka kwaye ithandane ngokupheleleyo. Ngaba uyaphupha ngokuba nguNick noJess kwiNtombazana eNtsha? Okanye uWill noGrace, ngaphandle kokuba nobabini nisatsaleleka omnye komnye? Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba unguMonica kunye noChandler kwiZihlobo kwaye ngenye imini omnye wenu uya kucebisa kwigumbi eligcwele amakhandlela.

Kodwa ngaba akunakwenzeka ukuba oko kubandakanya okungakumbi kunoko bakubonisa kwimifanekiso eshukumayo nakumabonwakude? Ewe kunjalo! Ngapha koko, uWill noGrace ngobuchule babengamaqabane angaphambili, kwaye ezinye izibini ezibini zatshata.

Ngelixa kunokubonakala kulula kwaye kugudileyo, ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane buza neseti yalo yokungalungi. Funda ukuze ufumanise ukuba zithini na ezi.

UkuFunda okuFanayo:7 Imithetho yegolide kubudlelwane obuphilayo

1. Ukungazimiseli

Le yingxoxo-mpikiswano enkulu ngokuchasene nobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane apho inzuzo yayo enkulu ikwasisithintelo sayo esikhulu.

ULaura noKen babehlala kunye iinyanga ezimbalwa, kwaye uKen wayengakhululekanga ngendlela uLaura abonakala elula ngayo ukulahla ubudlelwane babo. Ngalo naliphi na ixesha benokungavisisani, okanye nokuba uzama ukuthetha ngekamva, wayesuka ahambe, okanye anyuse amagxa ngokungathi ayibalulekanga. UKen akazange akwazi ukuzibamba kodwa wacinga ukuba wayenako imiba yokuzibophelela.

Ukuba bhetyebhetye luphawu lobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba bhetyebhetye kakhulu. Yiyo loo nto isenokungafuni ukuzibophelela ngokunzulu macala omabini. Ukuphuma kubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane kunokuba lula njengokupakisha iibhegi zakho kunye nokubhukisha i-Uber. Yiyo loo nto nokungavisisani kuncinci kunokukhokelela ekubeni elinye lamahlakani aphume.

2. Ukhupha umtsalane emtshatweni

Ukuba elinye iqabane liye laphupha ngomtshato obusondeleyo, elwandle, kodwa omnye akanamdla, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane babo bokuhlala buthathe umtsalane emtshatweni.

Umtshato awunanto ingako onokuyinika izibini ezisele zihlalisana iminyaka embalwa. Ngapha koko, ukuba sele unekhaya kunye, inkqubo ekwabelwana ngayo kunye nebhalansi yebhanki, kutheni ungene emtshatweni kwaphela, xa iyinto enye. Oku kunqongophala kwezinto ezintsha yenye yezinto ezingalunganga zobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane.

Oku kungathatha ithuba elibi ukuba elinye iqabane lisafuna ukutshata, kodwa elinye alifuni. Khawufan' ucinge uthetha neqabane lakho ngomtshato, kufuneka woyisele umntu omthandayo nalowo uhlala naye kuloo mtshato kunokuba bhetele yaye kube kuhle ngakumbi, yaye basabela ngokuthi, 'Meh!'

3. Ukukhalinyelwa kwezentlalo

Siyazi ukuba lihlabathi elitsha elinesibindi kwaye indlela oqhuba ngayo ubomi bakho bothando kufuneka ibe lishishini lakho kwaye libe lakho wedwa. Ngelishwa, ihlabathi alikafiki. Kusekho amazwe amaninzi kunye noluntu apho ubudlelwane bobudlelwane buyinto engafanelekanga. Le yenye yeziphumo ezibi zobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iqabane lakhe ahlala nalo lixhaphaze intombi yakhe ngokwesondo emva koko...

KuJean noAshton, yaba yingxaki. Iintsapho zabo zabuza imibuzo engqalileyo malunga nexesha abanokutshata ngalo. Xa babekhangela indawo yokuhlala, bajikiswa izihlandlo eziliqela. Kubangele ubunzima obukhulu kubudlelwane babo nasemva kokuba befudukele kunye.

Kulula ukuthi 'ungabahoyi' okanye 'akunamsebenzi.' Kodwa, siyathanda singathandi, sonke siyinxalenye yoluntu olukhulu, kwaye into ethethwa ngabantu nabacinga ngayo ichaphazela ubomi bethu. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlala niphantsi koqwalaselo lwabamelwane abagxekayo kunye namalungu osapho, oko kuya kwenza ubudlelwane benu bube nzima kwaye bungonwabanga.

4. Ukwahlukana kunzima

Ukwahlukana kunzima ngokwaneleyo xa uhlala ngokwahlukileyo. Xa usabelene ngendawo yokuhlala, ikofu yasekuseni yemihla ngemihla kwaye mhlawumbi newodrophu, ukuqhekeka kunzima kabini. Awohluli nje abantu ababini, kodwa ubomi obubini buphela.

Kwakhona, xa nithathe isigqibo sokuhlala kunye, nithathe ukholo kwaye nenza utshintsho oluninzi kubomi benu. Mhlawumbi une-akhawunti yebhanki edibeneyo, isihogo, mhlawumbi uthenge indlu kunye. Xa iinkalo ezininzi zobomi bakho zidibene, ukuzityhila kubuhlungu kwaye kunzima.

Yaye masiyithethe inyaniso, ukuba imitshato inokuphela ngoqhawulo-mtshato, ubudlelwane obuhlala phakathi kwabo bunokuphela.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ukohlukana Njani Nomntu Ohlala Naye

5. Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso

Le yenye ingxoxo enkulu ngokuchasene nobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane. Usapho kunye nabahlobo bayinxalenye enkulu yobudlelwane bothando, nokuba unqwenela ukuba bebengekho. Ukudibana nosapho lweqabane lakho, ukubona indlela abaphatha ngayo abazali babo njl kukunika ukuqonda okukhulu malunga nokuba bangoobani na.

Usapho, abahlobo kunye nabamelwane nabo bangumthombo omkhulu wenkxaso nentuthuzelo. Kodwa ukuba uluntu lulonke luyabuchasa ubudlelwane bakho obuhlala kubudlelwane, mhlawumbi abayi kubuya xa ubafuna.

KuJenna noTim, oku kwaba ngumothuko omkhulu. UJenna wagula ngobunye ubusuku kwaza kwafuneka abalekiselwe esibhedlele. UTim wabiza zombini iiseti zabazali, kodwa akukho namnye kubo owayesazi ukuba uJenna noTim babehlala kunye. Bathe xa befika esibhedlele baqonda, kukho ungquzulwano olukhulu. Kwabathatha iinyanga ezininzi ngaphambi kokuba abazali babo baqhelane nemeko yabo yokuhlala, kwaye nalapho, kwakukho umoya obandayo.

Umtshato unibophelela ngokusemthethweni kwiintsapho zenu, kodwa xa nihlala kunye, kwiimeko ezingxamisekileyo okanye kwiimfuno zemali, nihlala nizifumana ningenabani.

6. Uya kulazi icala 'lelinye' leqabane lakho

Mhlawumbi lonke eli xesha ubuqinisekile ukuba iqabane lakho lisisithandwa esimnandi, esinedimple esingenakwenza nto iphosakeleyo. Emva koko ungene kunye nabo kwaye ubabone njengabaphilayo, abaphefumlayo, isiphithiphithi esothusayo sobuntu sonke.

Ukuhlala nomntu kukufundisa okuninzi ngaye. Ukuthandana nomntu kunye nokwabelana ngesithuba esifanayo kunye nabo zizinto ezahlukileyo kakhulu kwaye le yokugqibela iza nemingeni yayo ekhethekileyo.

Uhlala esishiya phezulu isitulo sangasese. Ugalela iziqholo ezininzi ekutyeni angakwazi ukukutya. Ufumanisa ukuba iinkophe zakhe ziyinkohliso. Ingqondo yakho, yonke le nto iyenzeka emtshatweni, kunjalo, kodwa hey, apho kufuneka uye kwinkundla yokwenyani ukuze uphume kuyo.

7. Imiba yokuthenjwa

Uyalithanda iqabane lakho kwaye unqwenela into engaphezu kokuthandana okuqhelekileyo. Ufuna ukubabona yonke imihla kwaye ungakhathali ukwabelana nabo ngesithuba. Awufuni kuchitha umzuzu ngaphandle kwe-s/o yakho kodwa kwangaxeshanye, awukakulungeli ukutshata.

Kuyenzeka nokuba ukholelwa eluthandweni olungenazo iilebhile kodwa ungafuni ukuba ikubambezele. Kukho intaphane yeemeko apho ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane bunokwenza imimangaliso! Izibini ezininzi zifunga ngayo, yaye kutheni zingayifuni? Ukuphila nothando lobomi bakho kuza nemiceli mngeni, ewe. Kodwa, ikwayeyona mvakalelo inkulu eyakha yakho.

Kodwa enye ingxaki ngobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane iza neseti yayo yokungakhuseleki. Ekubeni ungatshatanga, unokuhlala uthandabuza ukuba ubudlelwane buya kuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo. Uthanda ukubambelela kwaye ngokufuthi kubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane abantu baphela ukuhlola amaqabane abo.

8. Ingaba abantwana bazakulunga?

Le yi-doozy yokwenyani. Kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba nihlala kunye ngolonwabo, kwaye ke uceba ukuba nabantwana, kodwa ngaphandle kokutshata. Okanye kukho ukukhulelwa okungacwangciswanga kwaye unqume ukuba ufuna abantwana kunye nomntu wakho.

Hayi ukugqabhuza iqamza lakho elonwabileyo lomntwana, kodwa izibini ezihlalisanayo azinayo irekhodi ebalaseleyo nabantwana. A survey ibonisa ukuba isibini kwisithathu sabazali abahlalisanayo bahlukana ngaphambi kokuba abantwana babo babe neminyaka eli-12 ubudala xa kuthelekiswa nekota yabazali abatshatileyo.

Ubuthathaka bezibini ezihlala kunye, ngokuchasene nezibini ezitshatileyo azifane zibe yeyona ndawo isempilweni yokukhulisa umntwana. Nangona ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka ukuba uthande kwaye uxabise abantwana bakho nangaphandle kokutshata, imvakalelo yokuzinza ibalulekile kubantwana, kwaye ukuhlalisana akunakulungele.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Uthetha Njani Nabantwana Bakho Ngoqhawulo-mtshato

9. Imiba yomthetho

Umthetho wase-US awuniki inkxaso eninzi kwizibini ezihlala kubudlelwane. Izibini ziyakhuthazwa ukuba zenze ezazo iikhontrakthi kunye nezivumelwano phambi kokuthenga ipropati njl.njl. ukwenza isigqibo ngendlela abafuna ukwahlula ngayo naziphi na ii-asethi ezinkulu.

Ngamanye amazwi, phambi kokuba wenze naziphi na izigqibo, funda ukuzoba ezakho izivumelwano zaphambi kokuhlala kunye. Ukuba nifumana indlu kunye, ngubani onokufuduka xa nahlukana? Igama likabani elikwindawo yokuqeshisa? Ukuba enye iqabane lirhola kancinci, ngaba bayakufanelekela ukufumana umxhesho kwimeko yokwahlukana?

Le yimibuzo enzima ekufuneka ujongane nayo xa ucwangcisa ngokuvuyayo iphupha lakho lokuhlala kunye ikhaya. Kodwa, umthetho awusayi kuba luncedo kangako ngaphandle kokuba utshatile, ngoko kuya kufuneka ukhusele izilangazelelo zakho, kwaye mhlawumbi nezomnye nomnye.

Siye safumanisa ukuba ukuhlala kunye akuyopikiniki. Ke, qiniseka ukuba uthatha isigqibo esicingisiswe kakuhle. Ukusukela ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane linyathelo elikhulu kwisibini. Usenokuba awutshati naloo mntu, kodwa useza kuhlala naye ubomi obuthile. Ngenxa yoko, esi sigqibo kufuneka sithathwe ngononophelo olukhulu. Ukuthabatheka ziimvakalelo kunye nokugxalathelana kwizinto kunokuba kubi kuwe ekuhambeni kwexesha.

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