9 amaqhinga oqhawulo mtshato kunye neendlela zokulwa nawo

Alithandabuzeki elokuba uqhawulo-mtshato yinkqubo ebuhlungu. Ngaphandle kwamadabi akho angaphakathi, kukho amatyala amade enkundla, ukwahlulwa-hlulwa kwempahla, ukugcinwa kwabantwana, kunye neengxabano ezifanayo. Yongeza koku iqabane langaphambili eliza kuba liqabane eliza kukufumana ngeendlela ezikhohlisayo zoqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye izinto zinokuba mbi kakhulu.

Amaqhinga anokuthi iqabane lakho libe nawo anokukothusa, kodwa kumagqwetha oqhawulo-mtshato la maqhinga aqhelekile. Yiyo loo nto ulwazi oluvela kwigqwetha loqhawulo-mtshato lunokukunceda uhlale ulindile kwaye ulungele ukuzithethelela okuchanekileyo.

Sadibana negqwetha Shonee Kapoor, ikhazi, uqhawulo-mtshato, nomcebisi wokwahlukana onobuchule bokusetyenziswa kakubi kwemithetho yomtshato ukuze aqonde amaqhinga abantu abawasebenzisayo ukuze bafumane ukoyisa enkundleni nendlela esinokufunda ngayo ukuzikhusela kwingqumbo yalowo wangaphambili oziphindezelayo.

9 amaqhinga oqhawulo mtshato kunye neendlela zokulwa nawo

Sibuze uShonee ukuba iqhelekile kangakanani na into yokuba abantu abatshatileyo babhenele kumaqhinga angabizi mali ininzi kwaye uziva njani ngayo njengegqwetha. USonee wathi: “Nangona ndibona iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo ezisetyenziswa zizibini ezilwayo ukuze zihlukane, izibini eziye zaqhawula umtshato ngoxolo zizo eziye zathetha ngokunyanisekileyo nangokungqalileyo.”

Wongezelela wathi: “Ukwahlukana akusoloko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka kuliwe idabi elikrakra yaye umele uliqhathe iqabane lakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba, "Yonke into ilungile eluthandweni nasemfazweni" ibonakala ngathi yintetho nje abanye abantu abadla ngokuyithobela xa bejongene nenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato. Baza kuya kuwo nawuphi na umlinganiselo omnye-up iqabane labo, ukuze bafumane inzuzo, becinga ukuba kukho kakhulu emngciphekweni ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato. Makhe sijonge amaqhinga achuliweyo oqhawulo-mtshato kunye nendlela yokulwa nawo.

1. Ukufihla umvuzo kunye nempahla

Ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato, omabini amaqabane kufuneka achaze imivuzo yawo kunye naziphi na izinto anazo, njengeenkcukacha zeakhawunti yebhanki, impahla, izinto ezixabisekileyo, utyalo-mali, njl.njl. Iqabane lisenokuzama ukuyifihla le nkcazelo ukuze lifune inkxaso ngendlela yesondlo okanye ukuphepha ukuhlawula. uncedo lwe zemali ngendlela yenkxaso yomntwana okanye i-alimony. Basenokwenza oko ukufihla ingxowa-mali ebalulekileyo ekubeni ihlawulwe. Nantsi indlela abantu abadla ngokwenza ngayo oko:

• Ngokungaluxeli ulwazi
• Ngokudlulisela imali kwi-akhawunti ye-offshore okanye kwi-akhawunti yesihlobo
• Ngokuthenga izinto ezinkulu egameni lomnye umntu
• Ngokufihla izinto ezixabisekileyo kwiindawo ezingachazwanga

Ukuba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato nomfazi wakho kwaye ugcine yonke into, okanye umyeni wakho, nantsi into onokuthi uzame ukuyikhupha. Enyanisweni, awona maqhinga akhohlakeleyo oqhawulo-mtshato asenokuquka iindlela ezininzi ezichuliweyo zokufihla izinto.

Indlela yokulwa nobuqhophololo ngokwemali liqabane

Ukuba ubona iqabane lakho lithenga izinto ezinkulu okanye ukuba ubona nantoni na ekhohlisayo kwimali edibeneyo, yizise ngokukhawuleza kunye negqwetha lakho loqhawulo-mtshato. Basenokukucebisa ukuba udibane ne-forensic accountant ukuze uphonononge zonke iziteyitimenti zebhanki kunye namanye amaphepha afanelekileyo. Kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukulandelela zonke ii-asethi ngomzila we-elektroniki wokufumana iirisithi, ukudluliselwa, kunye nokurhoxiswa.

Ukwanaso nesixhobo 'senkqubo yokufumanisa' apho igqwetha lakho linokwenza izicelo ezisesikweni okanye iimfuno zolwazi oluvela kumlingane wakho ekufuneka liluthobele ngokusemthethweni. Oku kunokunceda ukutyhila ulwazi abazama ukulufihla. Umzekelo, igqwetha lakho lingacela iqabane lakho:

• Ubhengezo olusesikweni: Iqabane lakho linokucelwa ukuba livelise amaxwebhu emali
• Iimibuzo: Mabaphendule imibuzo ebhaliweyo phantsi kwesifungo
• Ukwamkelwa kweenyani: Kufuneka bakhanyele okanye bamkele iingxelo ezithile. Akukho mpendulo ithetha ukwamkelwa kweengxelo
• Iisamana: Umntu wesithathu ofana nebhanki okanye umqeshi weqabane lakho unokubizelwa ukukunika ulwazi olufana neerekhodi zemali
• Ukungena emhlabeni ukuze kuhlolwe: Unokuvunyelwa ukufikelela kwipropati okanye kwinto efana nebhokisi ekhuselekileyo okanye ibhokisi yobucwebe ukuze ihlolwe.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ukuqhawula umtshato noMyeni weNarcissist-Okufuneka Uyazi

2. Ukuzibandakanya kumsebenzi ongaphantsi ngokuzithandela

Olu lolunye uhlobo lweqhinga loqhawulo-mtshato olungenamaqhinga. Kuba inobuqhophololo, ikrelekrele, kwaye intsonkothile, ifanele indawo eyahlukileyo yokuxoxa. Ukuphepha uxanduva lokuhlawula imali yenkxaso yomntwana okanye isondlo, umntu unokukhetha ngabom ukuthatha umsebenzi ongaphantsi kakhulu - ukuthetha ngemali - isiqinisekiso sakhe.

An umsebenzisi ongaziwa ubuza kwiwebhusayithi yenkxaso yezomthetho, "Umyeni wam wangaphambili wenze yonke into ukuzama ukuphuma kwisondlo somntwana. Wasilela emva kokuba unyana wam eneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, kodwa unyana wam wayesesesikolweni samabanga aphakamileyo, emva koko akazange ahlawule imali yenkxaso yomntwana ukususela oko unyana wam ephumelele. ukuphuma kwinkxaso yomntwana.”

Indlela yokujongana neqabane elingathanda ukufumana imali encinci kunokuhlawula inkxaso yomntwana

Kukho isizathu sokuba eli qhinga likhohlakeleyo linegama elichazwe kwangaphambili. Kubizwa ngokuba ngumsebenzi ongaphangeliyo ngokuzithandela, kwaye inkundla iyasiqonda isizathu sokuba iqabane lakho likhethe ngabom ukufumana umvuzo ongaphantsi kakhulu kunoko linokukwazi ukukwenza noko lukhoyo kuwo. Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ephantsi kulula ukuyithintela ukuba unegqwetha elinobuchule. Ungakuzisa oku kunye negqwetha lakho eliya kuthi ke likuse oku enkundleni emva kophando olunzulu kunye nokuqokelelwa kobungqina.

3. Ukulibazisa ngabom izinto

Iqabane lakho lisenokuzama ukulibazisa inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, eyona nto ibuhlungu kukuba ngumnqweno ombi wokukukhathaza kwaye ubangele unxunguphalo. Iqabane eliphindezelayo liya kuncipha kwaye lilibazise ukuzithengela ixesha, okanye ukukukhubaza ngeendleko eziphezulu zomthetho ukuze uqhawulo-mtshato lungabi lukhetho oluzinzileyo kuwe. Ukubangela isithintelo kwiinkqubo zoqhawulo-mtshato yenye yeendlela ezixhaphakileyo zoqhawulo-mtshato kwaye kukunyanzelela ukuba uvumelane nesisombululo esingenabulungisa. Amaqhinga okulibazisa iqabane lakho anokuwazama ngala:

• Ukwala unikezelo thethwano
• Ukusa yonke into encinci enkundleni
• Ukwala ukuthobela izicelo
• Ukwala ukusayina
• Ukwenza izizathu zokungabonisi
• Ukucela rhoqo ukwandiswa okanye ukurhoxiswa kwediphozithi.

Indlela yokujongana neqabane elithintela uqhawulo-mtshato

Ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liqinisekisa ngabom ukuba izinto azifiki ndawo, yiza negqwetha lakho. Sukuba nexhala, ijaji iyakuqaphela iqhinga loqhawulo-mtshato leqabane lakho kwaye inokudala uxinzelelo kwiqabane lakho ukuba lithobele. Unenketho yokufaka isindululo esisemthethweni ucela ijaji ukuba ibeke isohlwayo esifanelekileyo ngokuchasene neqabane lakho lokuchitha ixesha lomntu wonke. Unako kwakhona ukucela inkundla ukuba igwebe ukusilela.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: IiNgcebiso kuqhawulo-mtshato: Izibonelelo zoNyango lwangaphambi nasemva koqhawulo-mtshato

4. Ukwenza izityholo zobuxoki

Umnqweno wokuziphindezela, okanye wokuphumelela, okanye wokuba nezinto ngendlela yakho, okanye ukungafuni kwaphela ukulalanisa kunokukhokelela abantu ukuba bathobe kumanqanaba angazange abonwe ngaphambili. Amagqwetha oqhawulo-mtshato asixelela ukuba amaqabane aza kwenza izityholo zobuxoki kumaqabane awo ukuba izinto zihambe ngendlela yawo. Le isenokuba lelinye lamaqhinga amdaka oqhawulo-mtshato kugcino lwabantwana okanye ukunciphisa amalungelo okutyelela iqabane likabani. Kwakhona banokukwenza oko ukuze bafumane uvelwano yinkundla ukuze inkundla igwebe ngabo.

Uninzi lwezityholo eziqhelekileyo umntu anokuthi asebenzise ngokuchasene neqabane lakhe kuqhawulo-mtshato zezi:

• Ukungahoywa komntwana
• Uhlukunyezo lwabantwana
• Utywala okanye umlutha weziyobisi
• Udlama lasekhaya
• Ukuziphatha okukrexezayo
• Ukukhutshwa
• Ukungabi namandla

Indlela yokuphatha kakubi

Amaphulo e-Smear anokubangela umonakalo omkhulu, hayi nje kwisimo sakho kwiinkqubo zoqhawulo-mtshato kodwa kukuzixabisa nokuzingca kwakho. Umfazi onentloko eshushu unokukubetha apho kubuhlungu kakhulu, kuba ezi zi izinto ezinokusetyenziswa ngokuchasene nawe kuqhawulo-mtshato.

Okokuqala, kufuneka uhlale uzolile kwaye uphephe ukutsibela umva kubo ngempendulo okanye, ngakumbi, ngezityholo zobuxoki ezizezakho. Nokuba kubonakala kungalunganga kangakanani na, kufuneka uthobele nawuphi na umlinganiselo wexeshana obekiweyo kuwe ngomyalelo wenkundla. Iqabane lakho liyakulinda ukuba wenze impazamo ukuze izityholo zabo zingqinwe zichanekile.

Okwesibini, ekuphela kwendlela yokuchasa izityholo zobuxoki kukusebenzisa iinyani kunye nomonde. Xa ujongene nezityholo zobuxoki, kubalulekile ukuba unyaniseke 100% kumcebisi wakho wezomthetho. Bazise ngemeko yakho ngokuphandle ukuze bakwazi ukumela ityala lakho kangangoko banako.

5. Ukuzenza ngathi izigulo zomzimba

Hayi, eli asiloqhinga nje elisetyenziswa ngumfundi webanga lesihlanu ukunqanda ukuya esikolweni. Kwaye, ewe, ufunda oko kulungile! Ebudeni benkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato, amagqwetha asoloko ebona amaqabane esenza isigulo esithile okanye isiphene ukuze aphembelele inkqubo. 'njani' ixhomekeke kwiinkcukacha zetyala. USonee wabelane nathi ngeemeko ezimbini eziya kukunceda ukuba ubambe i-drift.

Icandelo 1: Umyeni (uShonee umbiza ngokuba nguH1) wayefuna ukuwuphelisa umtshato ngenxa yokungahambelani nomfazi wakhe (W1). U-H1 upheke ibali lendlela awawa ngayo ngexesha lee-ofisi zakhe kwaye wonakele kwimilenze yakhe emenza angakwazi ukuhamba. I-H1 yahlala iphila ubomi bomntu okhubazekileyo, kuquka nokuya kumatyala akhe oqhawulo-mtshato enkundleni njengendoda ekhubazekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, 'waphulukana nesiphene sakhe' kwisithuba seenyanga ezi-6 zoqhawulo-mtshato lwakhe. USonee uthi, “Ekuphela kwendlela eyayinokufunyaniswa ngayo le nto yayiluvavanyo olongezelelweyo kunye nokutyelela ugqirha kwicala le-W1.

Icandelo 2: W2 wayengafuni ukugqibezela umtshato wakhe nomyeni wakhe, H2. Wayesoloko esenza ngathi unengxaki yelungu lobufazi nto leyo eyayingamvumeli ukuba abe nobudlelwane bomtshato nomyeni wakhe. I-W2 yakuphepha ngamandla ukutyelelwa ngugqirha okanye naluphi na unyango olumiselwe ngoogqirha nto leyo ekhokelele ekuxabaneni rhoqo phakathi kwesibini. Elokugqibela uqhawulo-mtshato olungachaswanga Ukuhlawula kubandakanya i-H2 yokuhlawula iindleko zomtshato kwi-W2. “Nale nto ngeyithintelwe ngenkuthalo nguH2 kunye negqwetha lakhe,” utshilo uShonee.

Indlela yokuphendula iqabane elixokayo elizenza ngathi liyagula/likhubazekile

Ekuphela kwendlela yokuchasa oku kungophando olungqongqo kunye nokulandelelwa ngokucokisekileyo noogqirha. Ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho lingenza isigulo ukuba lilibazise iinkqubo zoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukufumana naluphi na uncedo, nceda uze nalo ngoncedo lwakho lwezomthetho ngubani na oya kukucebisa eyona ndlela ilungileyo kwimeko enjalo. Basenokude bakucebise ukuba udibane nomphandi wezomthetho okanye owabucala.

6. Ukwahlukanisa abantwana bakho kwelinye iqabane

Ukubahlukanisa ngabom abantwana bakho neqabane lakho lelinye lawona maqhinga oqhawulo-mtshato awona akhohlakeleyo. Injongo kukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho nomntwana wakho ukuze ufumane i-advanteji ngaphezu kwakho malunga namalungelo okugcina. Iqabane elinjalo mhlawumbi lifuna ukufumana ilungelo lokugcina umntwana/abantwana bakho okanye eli lidabi nje lokuzicingela okanye umzabalazo wamandla phakathi kwamaqabane. Oku kuyingozi kakhulu kwaye kuyingozi ngakumbi kubantwana ababandakanyekayo kwaye ilingana nokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ngokweemvakalelo.

Ngelishwa, oku kuqhelekile kwaye kubizwa ngokuba 'kukwahlukaniswa kwabazali' kwijargon esemthethweni. Oko kuthetha ukuba igqwetha lakho kunye nejaji bazi kakhulu ukuba iqabane lakho lingazama eli qhinga. Iqabane lakho linokwenza oku ngoku:

• Ukuthetha kakubi ngawe emntwaneni wakho
• Ukuzama ukukhohlisa umntwana wakho ukuba achithe ixesha elincinci kunye nawe ngomvuzo okanye isohlwayo
• Ukwenza izityholo zobuxoki ngakuwe phambi komntwana wakho
• Ukungawahloneli amalungelo akho okutyelela
• Ukwenza izizathu zokunciphisa unxibelelwano phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakho

Indlela yokulwa nokungathandwa kwabazali

Ukuba iqabane lakho lilonakalisa ngabom ubudlelwane bakho nomntwana wakho, thetha negqwetha lakho ngalo. Nokuba ilizwe lakho alinamithetho ethe ngqo echasene nokwahlukaniswa kwabazali, oku kusengaziswa enkundleni. Impendulo yolwaphulo-mthetho/impendulo yogcino-mthetho/amayeza oluntu afana nokudelela umyalelo wenkundla kunokufunwa. USonee uthi, “Izicelo zokudelela kufuneka kusetyenzwe ngazo kwaye ummangalelwa kufuneka athathelwe amanyathelo.”

Bekukho ubukho obunamandla kakhulu bengcebiso yencwadi kwi Idilesi yeReddit ngokugxothwa kwabazali. Isindululo senziwe ngabasebenzisi abahamba ngokuhlukaniswa kwabazali ngumlingane okanye owayesakuba. Incwadi ibizwa ngokuba Ityhefu yoQhawulo-mtshato: Ukukhusela iBond yoMzali-noMntwana kwi-Experitive Ex nguGqr.Richard A. Warshak kwaye inokungqineka ibalulekile xa uhamba kulo mhlaba unenkohliso. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Uqhawulo-mtshato kunye nabantwana-Iimpembelelo ezi-8 ezihleli nzulu zokwahlula abazali kufuneka bazi.

7. Ukwandisa ixesha lobuzali ukunciphisa umthwalo wenkxaso yomntwana

Isixa sembopheleleko yenkxaso yomntwana kumzali ngamnye sixhomekeke kumvuzo womzali nakwixesha abalichitha nomntwana wabo. Ukuba umntwana uchitha ngaphezu kwenani elithile labantu abalalayo kunye nomzali ongagcinwanga, umthwalo wenkxaso yomntwana kubo ubalwa kwakhona (kwaye uyancitshiswa). Yiyo loo nto umzali ongengomntwana enokucela ukongezwa kwexesha lobuzali kuphela ngenjongo yokunciphisa umthwalo wabo wenkxaso yomntwana.

Akukho nto iphosakeleyo xa umzali efuna ukuchitha ixesha elingakumbi nomntwana wakhe. Kodwa kuphawulwa ukuba kwiimeko apho oko kwenziwa ngenjongo egqwethekileyo yokuhlawula imali encinane kwisondlo somntwana, umzali onjalo ugqiba kwelokuba anikele ngomntwana kubahlobo okanye kumalungu entsapho okanye abashiye emsebenzini, kunokuba eneneni achithe ixesha nomntwana. Mhlawumbi ku iintsapho ezixubeneyo, umntwana usenokufuna ingqalelo ekhethekileyo ukuze amanyaniswe nentsapho entsha, kodwa oko kusenokungabi njalo kumzali ongakhathali ngolo hlobo.

Indlela yokuphendula iqabane elixokayo ngokufuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabantwana

Ukuba unoluvo lokuba kungenxa yoko le nto iqabane lakho licela ixesha elongeziweyo nomntwana, yizisa oku kunye negqwetha lakho ngokukhawuleza. Igqwetha lakho liya kuqinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho liyalunyukiswa ngokusemthethweni ngeziphumo zokutyeshela ilungelo lokutyelelwa.

Ukuba sele benikwe ixesha elongeziweyo lobuzali kodwa balisebenzisa kakubi elo lungelo, igqwetha lakho lingawusa umcimbi enkundleni kwaye iqabane lakho lisenokumangalelwa ngokungahoywa komntwana kunye nokudelela inkundla.

8. Ukuhamba ngaphandle kwelizwe kunye nabantwana

Owakho wangaphambili unokuzama ukuthatha abantwana kwaye aphume kwilizwe ohlala kulo ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Basenokwenza oko ukuze bahlukanise abantwana kuwe okanye bafudusele ityala loqhawulo-mtshato kwilizwe elinenkqubo-sikhokelo esemthethweni evumayo ngakumbi. Ukuba bakwenza ngokuthandabuza, kwaye ngaphandle kokwazisa inkundla, akufanele ukhathazeke kakhulu, njengoko oku ngokuqinisekileyo inkundla iyayiphikisa. Enyanisweni, oku kuya kufuneka ekugqibeleni kubonakale kukulungele.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba bawenze kakuhle umsebenzi wabo wasekhaya, kwaye benze isizathu esilungileyo sokwenza njalo, oku kuya kuchaphazela isiphumo setyala lakho loqhawulo-mtshato. Basenokungqina enkundleni ukuba urhulumente omtsha unezikolo ezingcono okanye amathuba emfundo kumntwana wakho. Basenokunikwa umsebenzi onengeniso engakumbi kwelinye ilizwe. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukuba umntwana wakho sele ehlala kude nawe kwaye “ngesizathu esibambekayo”, unokuphulukana namalungelo alinganayo okanye angundoqo okugcina.

Indlela yokujongana neqabane elibalekileyo

Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba uthethe ngokuqhubekayo ubambe ilungelo elilinganayo lokugcinwa kwamatyala naphambi kokuba kuqale inkqubo yenkundla. Igqwetha elisebenzayo liya kukucebisa ukuba ugxile ekuzuzeni 50/50 yokwahlulwa kokugcinwa ngokudibeneyo okwethutyana. Ukuba bekukho umyalelo wokugcinwa okanye isivumelwano esikhoyo, kwaye i-ex yakho iphule loo nto, igqwetha lakho linokufaka isicelo ngokuchasene nokwaphulwa komyalelo kwaye linyanzelise ukubuyiswa komntwana. Qhagamshelana negqwetha eligcina umntwana ngaphandle kokulibazisa ukufumana elona qhinga lifanelekileyo kuwe.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ungawushiya njani uMtshato ngoXolo-9 Iingcebiso zeeNgcali zoNcedo

9. Ukwenza ukungqubana kwemidla nomntu onokuba ligqwetha lakho

Nje ukuba umntu adibane negqwetha aze axoxe ngetyala lakhe, ubotshelelwa lilungelo lommeli-mxumi nokuba uqeshelwe ityala okanye hayi. Oku kuthetha ukuba abanakukwazi ukuthetha neqabane lakho ngetyala. Abanako ukubonwabisa, bayeke ukubamela, nokuba bebefuna. Ngapha koko, ingengabo kuphela, yonke ifem yomthetho kufuneka igcine eli lungelo lomthengi wommeli. Lo mgaqo wenzelwe ukukhusela umdla womntu wonke ngokunqanda nakuphi na ukungqubana kwemidla.

Nangona kunjalo, lo mthetho unokujikwa ube yenye yamaqhinga amdaka ukuze ufumane inzuzo engafanelekanga ngaphezulu kweqabane likabani. Oku kukwabizwa ngokuba “kukungquzulana” njengomcebisi wezomthetho. Iqabane linokuqhagamshelana namagqwetha amaninzi aphezulu kuloo ndawo kwaye lixoxe ngetyala ngokweenkcukacha, ngenjongo yokubenza baphume kwimida yamaqabane abo. Kuthiwa uHeidi Klum wamkela eli qhinga lokutyhola umyeni wakhe kuqhawulo-mtshato.

Indlela yokusabela “ekuxabaneni” negqwetha

Ingcebiso yethu yeengcali kukuqala kugxininise ekuthinteleni oku ngokupheleleyo ngokuqinisekisa ukuba uqesha a igqwetha elilungileyo loqhawulo-mtshato ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato lube yinto eqwalaselwayo. Yenza idinga kunye namagqwetha owathandayo ngokukhawuleza.

Kodwa ukuba sele "uxabana" yi-ex yakho ngokukhawuleza ukuze ungabinakho ukuthetha nawaphi na amagqwetha aphezulu kwindawo yakho, usenalo ukhetho lokufumana igqwetha elikhulu elivela ngaphandle. Oku kuya, ngokuqinisekileyo, yongeza kwiindleko zakho kunye nemizamo, kodwa yeyona nto ingcono yokubheja kwakho. Igqwetha elilungileyo liya kukunceda ubonise enkundleni ukuba ulixhoba leli qhinga linganyanisekanga kwaye unokufumana nokuba iqabane lakho lihlawule iindleko ezongezelelweyo.

Uqhawulo-mtshato alukho nje ukwahlukana okusemthethweni, ngamadabi amade okugcinwa kwabantwana, ukuxatyiswa kweshishini, ulwahlulo lwe-asethi, i-alimony kunye nenkxaso yabantwana, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, iimfazwe ze-ego. Ukuba iqabane lakho isihogo-bezimisele ukudlala ezimdaka, okanye ukuba iqabane lakho a i-covert narcissist, usenokungaluboni uqhawulo-mtshato olugudileyo. Ekuphela kwenketho yakho kuloo meko inokuba kukuqhubeka kwindlela yakho, uziqeshele elona qela lezomthetho ngokukhawuleza, kwaye umamele iingcebiso zabo!

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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