Ndiyindoda, nditshatile kwaye ndifuna ukulingana-Kutheni umtshato we-Gay kufuneka ube semthethweni

Kudala umlo kuluntu lwe-queer. Ngandlela zithile, siphumelele, kodwa kwezinye iinkalo ezininzi, kusekho indlela ende ekufuneka siyihambile. Ngelixa abantu besamkela ngakumbi njengabantu abanamalungelo oluntu asisiseko, abakaqiniseki bonke okanye balungele ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umtshato wama-gay kufuneka ube semthethweni.

Kubalulekile ukuthatha isihloko sokusemthethweni umtshato wesini esifanayo kwaye ujonge ukuba kutheni kubaluleke kakhulu kuluntu lwe-queer kwindawo yokuqala. Ayikokufumana amalungelo alinganayo kuphela kodwa ikwayindlela yokwenza into enkulu ngakumbi. Ukuba into lulonwabo lwethu kunye nomnqweno olula wokukwazi ukubhiyozela ubudlelwane esibuxabisa kakhulu.

Kutheni umtshato weGay kufuneka ube semthethweni

Njengomntu othandana nomntu othandana naye oneminyaka engama-32 kwaye ndichithe iminyaka emi-5 kubudlelwane obuzibophelele, nto leyo endiyibiza ngokuba “ngumtshato” neqabane lam, ndisenoluvo lokuba umhlaba wonke kufuneka wazi malunga nobudlelwane bethu. Umthetho wemitshato yesitabane awusivumeli ukuba sitshate ngokwenene kodwa siyathanda ukuzibiza ngokuba ngabayeni bomnye nomnye. Ayikuko ukuba iya kutshintsha izinto phakathi kwethu sobabini, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iya kutshintsha izinto ngendlela uluntu olusijonga ngayo.

Kwakhona, xa ndisithi uluntu, asikuko ukuba sifuna ukuvunywa okanye ukwamkelwa “ebantwini”, kodwa kungekudala kuya kubakho iimeko ebomini bethu apho omnye wethu uya kubuzwa lo mbuzo, “Uhlobene njani nawe?” Sidiniwe kukuzicacisa. Ngaba ngokwenene sifuna ukupela izizathu zokuba uthande umntu? Ndiqinisekile ukuba abantu abathe tye kwaye uthando lwabo alujongwa ngolu hlobo.

Kwananjengokuba isizukulwana esiqhubekayo semillennials siqalise ukuphulukana nokholo kunye nokholo kumtshato, njengesibini esitshatileyo, sobabini sinokholo olunamandla ngakumbi kwiziko lomtshato njengoko sikhula. Iyamangalisa into yokuba ibutho labantu elibonakala liphelelwa lukholo “ngomtshato” likwachasa ukumanyana okusemthethweni kwabantu ababini abathandanayo abangabesini esinye, libonisa ukuba oko kusenokuba sisisongelo kwilungiselelo lomtshato ngokwalo.

Ngaba umtshato gay ngokusemthethweni e-US? Ewe! Kwaye yayiluloyiso lwembali. Ukuba elona lizwe linenkqubela phambili ehlabathini linesimo esihle kangaka, kutheni amanye amazwe engakwazi ukulandela la manyathelo? Abakhathali ukuba ukwanda kwenani loqhawulo-mtshato phakathi kwabo bafane kubizwe ngokuba ngabantu besini esahlukileyo kusisisongelo esikhulu ngakumbi, njengoko bephelisa izifungo abazenzileyo omnye komnye.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Izinto ezi-8 ezithe ngqo kunye nezibini ezithandanayo zenza ngokwahlukileyo

Kutheni sifuna ukutshata ngokusemthethweni

Esinye sezizathu zokuba iqabane lam kunye nemfuno ekhulayo kunye nokukholelwa emtshatweni (ubuncinane kwihlabathi langaphandle) kunye namalungelo omtshato we-gay kukuba sifuna ukukhusela ubomi bomnye nomnye emva kokuba omnye wethu engasekho. Le yayingeyonkqubo yethu yokucinga de kwangonyaka ophelileyo xa umama wasweleka ngequbuliso eneminyaka engama-56 ubudala.

Ubomi abucingeleki kwaye umntu akazi ukuba zeziphi izinto azakuphosela kuzo ukuba ujongane nazo. Emva kweenyanga ezintathu umakhulu naye wasweleka. Ndashiyeka notata nogxa wam qha. Ndiyazi ukuba utata akasayi kuba nam xa ndimdala. Njengoko ndisakha ubomi bam kunye neqabane lam kwi ukuhlala-kubudlelwane, ndinoloyiko lokuba xa singatshatanga (emehlweni oluntu) ndiza kubuzwa ukuba ndihlobene njani naye. Oko kunokusishiya sobabini kwindawo engathandekiyo.

Iimfuno ezisemthethweni zeqabane

Xa umama wayegula, ndacelwa ukuba ndenze isigqibo enoba sasifuna ukwenza unyango oluyingozi oluya kumbangela abandezeleke ngakumbi yaye aqaqanjelwe okanye ukuba sifuna ukuluphepha. Abaphathi besibhedlele bandicela ukuba ndityobele ifomu yemvume yokungamniki unyango oluhlaselayo, isigqibo esathatyathwa ngutata, umntakwethu (otshatileyo onamantombazana ama-2). Isibhedlele asizange sibuze imibuzo emva kokuba sisazi ngolwalamano esinalo nesigulana. Kuye kwafuneka senze into efanayo nakumakhulu wam emva kweenyanga ezintathu.

Ngaloo nyaka emva kokusweleka kwabo, kwafuneka ndijongane nothotho lwamaziko emali kunye neenkampani ze-inshorensi apho ndandingumtyunjwa nalapho umama okanye umakhulu wam babengabatyunjwa kwii-akhawunti/zotyalo-mali lwam. Ndifumene yonke into bebendishiyele yona bobabini lula. Kwaye ndakwazi ukutshintsha ukutyunjwa kubawo ngokulula kuyo yonke imali yam kunye notyalo-mali emva kokuvelisa isatifikethi sokufa.

Noko ke, ndivakalelwa kukuba ndifanele ndishiyele yonke into kwiqabane lam xa ndinokufa phambi kwalo. Kodwa la maziko acela ubudlelwane endibelana nabo nomtyunjwa kwaye abanakukhetha kubudlelwane bethu. Kulapho inkxaso yomtshato we-gay ingena khona. Kutheni kufuneka ndivinjwe ithuba elisisiseko lokuziqhelanisa nezi zinto zincinci abanye abantu bayakwazi ukuzenza? Yingakho umtshato we-gay kufuneka ube semthethweni, ngenxa yezizathu zokwenyani, ukuba ayikho enye into.

Sifuna ukukwazi ukuthatha izigqibo ezibalulekileyo omnye komnye

Khawucinge nje ukuba besingakhuselekanga emva kokwakha ubomi kunye masithi iminyaka engama-50 +. Ibiya kuba lihlazo. Okanye okubi nangakumbi, xa ndiselukhukweni lokufa kwaye ukuba iqabane lam kufuneka lithathe isigqibo sokungandiniki unyango oluhlaselayo okanye lindikhuphele kwisixhobo sokungenisa umoya lize linike imvume yalo, kwaye ukuba linokubuzwa malunga nendlela elizalana ngayo nam, liya konakala.

Ngaphandle kokuba ne- ubudlelwane obunempilo gay, iqabane lam alinakukwazi ukubakho kum ngendlela endingathanda ukuba libe yiyo. Xa ndikwimeko enjalo, bendiya kufuna kuphela umlingane wam afowunelwe, kodwa ndingaqiniseka njani ukuba oogqirha bayasamkela isigqibo sakhe?

Namhlanje, ngelixa ndisebenza nzima, ndifumana imali, ndonga kwaye ndityala imali, andikwazi ukubiza iqabane lam njengomtyunjwa. Yiloo nto umtshato gay kufuneka ube semthethweni. Bendingathandi ukuba imali yam endiyisebenze nzima iye komnye umntu ngaphandle kwakhe. Iya kuba yeyakhe ngokufanelekileyo. Umbuzo nje ngowokuba, ingaba ngokusemthethweni iza kuba yeyakhe na kweli lizwe? Umthetho womtshato wamafanasini kufuneka utshintshe ukuze amaqabane abe nelungelo lokukhusela ikamva lomnye nomnye.

Ndiyazi ukuba ndingabhala umyolelo ndiwubhalise, njl. Sitshatile (kubudlelwane bethu) kodwa uluntu alusivumeli ukuba sitshate ngokwemali okwangoku.

Asifuni kuvunyelwa luluntu, kodwa ilungelo lokulingana

Ngaba sisisongelo kwiziko lomtshato ukuba ndiyakwazi ukukhusela ubomi beqabane lam xa ndingasekho? Ngaba sisoyikiso xa enokufowuna ukuze anciphise ukubandezeleka kwam xa ndigula? Ukuba kunjalo, kukwasisongelo ukuba abantu besini esahlukileyo batshata. Ndicinga ukuba ndenze ityala eliqinileyo lokuba kutheni umtshato we-gay kufuneka ube semthethweni. Xa kungenjalo, iingxaki ezininzi zinokuvela kuluntu lwethu, nto leyo esibeka emngciphekweni omkhulu.

Bendisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba andifuni mvume yamntu ukuze ndiphile ubomi bam, kodwa kwimeko elusizi kodwa engaqhelekanga yelizwe lethu, ndiziva ndiyidinga le mvume xa ndiphefumla okokugqibela.

Ndiyindoda, nditshatile kwaye andifuni kwamkelwa eluntwini. Kodwa ndifuna ilungelo lam lokulingana.

FAQs

10 Celebrity Famous Sex (Gay) Couples

Ukuphuma kwiCloset: 4 Gay Coming Out Stories

Igalelo lakho alilomnikelo wesisa . Liza kuvumela iBonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha noluhlaziyiweyo ekuzameni kwethu ukunceda nabani na emhlabeni ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

Jonga Inkqubo yethu yokuHlela

Dibana neBhodi yethu yoHlolo

Yabelana ngeNgxelo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Uncedo Xela impazamo omnye

Ngenisa