Ungazithande njani kubudlelwane - Iingcebiso ezingama-21 ezisebenzayo

Khawube nalo mfanekiso: uthandana nomntu wakho, kwaye yonke into ibonakala ngathi iyaphupha. Kodwa phakathi kwexesha le-lovey-dovey, kukho into edlala indima enkulu ekugcineni idangatye livutha - idosi enempilo yokuzithanda. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba uzithande njani kubudlelwane, ufike kwindawo elungileyo.

Uyabona, ukuzithanda kufana nesi sithako esiyimfihlo esithatha ubudlelwane bakho buyise kwinqanaba elitsha. Ayikokugxila nje kukuqina komzimba okanye ukwenza izinto ezingaphaya kwamandla akho. Ayikokuzicingela okanye ukuzingca; imalunga nokukhulisa iimfuno zakho, intlalontle, kunye nolonwabo, ecaleni kothando owabelana ngalo neqabane lakho. Ngokwamkela ukuzithanda, uzixhobisa ukuba ube ngoyena guqulelo lungcono kuwe, nto leyo enempembelelo entle ngaphandle kwaye iphucule umgangatho wobudlelwane bakho.

Iingcebiso ezingama-21 zokuziThanda xa ukuRelationship

A isifundo in Ubuntu kunye nokwahluka komntu ngamnye inikela le ngxelo, “Kukho inkolelo edumileyo yokuba ‘abantu bafanele bazithande ngaphambi kokuba bakwazi ukuthanda omnye umntu.’ Ngokungqinelana nolu luvo lusisiseko, kukho iqumrhu lophando elibonisa ukuba abantu abanamanqanaba aphezulu okuzithemba banika ingxelo yovavanyo olulungileyo lobudlelwane babo bothando kunabantu ukuzithemba okuphantsi kubudlelwane. Ngaloo ndlela, ubuncinane kukho inkxaso ethile kwingcamango yokuba abantu abazithandayo basenokuba nolwalamano olonwabisayo kunabo bangenazo ezo zimo zengqondo ezintle ngabo.”

Okubangel 'umdla kukuba, kwi-capitalism kunye nenkcubeko ye-pop, ukuzithanda bekusoloko kuthetha iibhafu, unyango lwe-spa, kunye nonyango lokuthengisa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, la manyathelo anokukwenza uzive ulungile, kodwa akanakuthatha indawo yoxolo lwangaphakathi, ukwaneliseka, kunye nesibindi sokuphila ubomi ngokwemiqathango yakho. Nanga amanye amacebiso 'okwenyani' aya kukufundisa ukuba uzithande njani kuqala: 

1. Thatha uxanduva lokuzithanda wena kuqala kubudlelwane

Ngaba ulinde iqabane lakho ukuba likusindise? Ngaba ulindele ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bulungise zonke iingxaki ebomini bakho? Endaweni yokulinda iqabane lakho lothando ukuba likuhlangule okanye likwenze uzive ungcono ngalo lonke ixesha, thatha uxanduva lolonwabo lwakho. Ziqhelise ukuzithanda yonke imihla kwaye ubukele umlingo uqhubeka. Kwaye ngelixa uthatha ulawulo, yiba nomonde kuwe.

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2. Yithi ndlela-ntle kwezo nkolelo zisikelwe umda

Kulungile, sele siza kuntywila kwisiphelo esinzulu sengqondo yakho - ilizwe leenkolelo ezisikelwe umda. Uyazi, ezo ngcinga ziphazamisayo ezisebezayo, "Awulungelanga isoka lakho" okanye "Awufanelanga uthando kwaye ubudlelwane obuphilileyo.” Ewe, lixesha lokuba ukhanyisele abo banenkathazo bancinci.

3. Incoko yesipili ingakufundisa ukuba uzithande njani kubudlelwane 

Isipili, isipili eludongeni, ngubani oyena uthandwa kakhulu kubo bonke? Thatha isipili, jonga nzulu kwawakho amehlo, kwaye uphinde uthi, "Ndiyazithanda" okanye "Ndiyakuthanda." Ivakala kancinci? Ingayiyo. Kodwa ndithembe, esi senzo silula sinokusebenza ngokumangalisayo. Kufana nokuba nentliziyo-to-ntliziyo kunye nesiqu sakho. Ke qhubeka, zinike intetho yesipili kwaye wonwabe kunye noyena mntu ubalulekileyo ebomini bakho - wena.

4. Yamkela ukusilela kwaye uvuke kwakhona 

Ubomi buhambo olungalawulekiyo. Ngamanye amaxesha uyakhubeka, uwe, kwaye ujongane nokusilela okuhle. Kwaye yinxalenye yokuba ngumntu. Ukungaphumeleli, ukuhlukana okudlulileyo, ukukhatywa kwezothando - zonke ezi zinyathelo lokunyathela kwindlela yothando kunye nokukhanya. Kwaye akukho nanye kuyo ebonisa ukuba awonelanga okanye uyonqena. Ngoko ke, musa ukuvumela iintlungu zikuwise phantsi. Vuka, uzisuse uthuli; Khumbula, ubudlelwane obuyimpumelelo buvela ekufundeni nasekukhuleni. Yamkela uhambo, inyathelo elinye ngexesha.

5. Yitya njengentshatsheli yokuzithanda

Uyazibuza ukuba uzithanda njani kwaye uzithembe kubudlelwane? Xa kuziwa ekuzithandeni kubudlelwane, lixesha lokuba uphathe umzimba wakho ngobubele kunye nokuzinyamekela. Ke, nikela ingqalelo kwinto oyibeka kwipleyiti yakho. Zondle ngokulungileyo, okunempilo. Landela la macebiso: 

• Zama ukutsiba indlela yokutya ngokweemvakalelo, mhlobo wam. Kodwa ukuba utye ukutya okuninzi okungenamsoco mva nje, zama ukufikelela kwingcambu kwaye ujongane neemfuno zakho zempilo yengqondo.
• Zama ukutya ukutya okunempilo kwaye ugcwalise izitya xa ukwi-date neqabane lakho. Ungade uphelise umhla ngokundwendwela epakini kwaye upholile ngeglasi ye-lemonade kunye
• Bonisa umzimba wakho uthando olunzulu ngokuwondla ngokutya okunesondlo kunye neziselo kwangethuba (ewe, kuphephe ukungayityi izidlo). Ndithembe, xa uwuphatha kakuhle umzimba wakho, uya kukubulela ngokubengezela okukhazimlayo kunye nokomelela okungaphezulu kokuzithanda.
• Musa ukunikezela kwimibono ye-fatphobic yemigangatho yobuhle. Ugqibelele ngendlela oyiyo kwaye ufanele ukutya ukutya okumnandi yonke imihla

6. Zinyamekele ngakumbi xa uziva ucinezelekile

Ukuba uzama ukufunda ukuzithanda kubudlelwane nangexesha a ingxabano yomtshato, lusukelo olufanelekileyo. Uninzi lwe-rom-coms lukhuthaza uluvo lokuba unyango lokuthengisa lunokulungisa yonke into, kodwa ebomini bokwenyani, ukukhathalela imeko yakho yeemvakalelo ngexesha elinzima kubalulekile.

• Xa izinto ziba nzima kunye neqabane lakho, phefumlela phezulu kwaye uzinqumle
• Musa ukuzibeka ityala ngokuziva ulahlekile kancinci kubomi bakho bothando
• Thatha isithuba, uphume phaya, ushukumise loo mzimba, hamba uyokubethwa ngumoya, kwaye usethe umoya omtsha
• Ungalibali ukufikelela kubahlobo okanye amalungu osapho anokufafaza uthando kunye nolonwabo kuhambo lwakho
• Ukuba konke okunye kuyasilela, zenzele ikomityi yeti eluhlaza kwaye uzikhumbuze ukuba nayo iya kudlula
• Ungade ufikelele kwingcali yobudlelwane ukuze ugudise izinto
• Esikhundleni sokuziva unetyala lokuziva unetyala, okanye ugxininise kuphela kwimeko yakho yasemva kongquzulwano, ngena nzulu kwaye ubonise zonke izinto ezikwenza uzive ungonwabanga okanye wonganyelwe.
• Umsebenzi olula oziva ulungile kuwe unokuwutshintsha ngokwenene umdlalo, umzekelo, ukufunda incwadi elungileyo
• Enye indlela yokujongana noku kukulawula ixesha-ukulungelelanisa imisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla kwaye uthathe ixesha lokugxila kwiimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo.

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7. Ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obuyityhefu

Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bungumthombo othe rhoqo woxinzelelo, ukuzithanda ujika ube luhambo olunzima. Ukuba iqabane lakho likushiya uziva udiniwe kwaye unxunguphele ngalo lonke ixesha, lixesha lokuba uhambe kakuhle ubudlelwane obunetyhefu. Khumbula, ufanelwe kukuba ungqongwe ngabantu abakwenza uzive umangalisa.

Sukusekela ukuzihlonela kwakho okanye ukuzixabisa kwakho kwimbono yeqabane lakho ngawe. Funda indlela yokuzithanda ngaphezu kwesithandwa sakho okanye intombi yakho ngaphandle kokuxhomekeka ekuqinisekiseni omnye umntu. Yamkela ukuma kwakho okumangalisayo kwaye uyeke nantoni na okanye nabani na ongenagalelo lilungileyo kuhambo lwakho lokuzithanda.

8. Yinyamekele ingqondo yakho

Hayi, ingqondo - umtyholi omncinci okhohlisayo onokuba nguye! Ngamanye amaxesha idlala amaqhinga kuwe, ikwenza ukholelwe kakhulu malunga nawe kunye nemeko yakho. Ukuzazi kunye nokusebenza ekuzamkeleni kubalulekile kuba ulufanele ngokwenene ulonwabo. Ukukhulisa ingqondo yakho yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yohambo lwakho lokuzithanda, ngakumbi ukuba ujongene nomntu okanye imingeni yobudlelwane. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa zokukunceda ukuba unakekele loo ngqondo ixabisekileyo yakho:

• Zibandakanye kwixesha elithile uwedwa kwindalo
• Ziqhelanise nemithambo yokuphefumla nzulu ukuzolisa ezo ngcinga zomdyarho
• Beka iinzame zemihla ngemihla zokuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela impilo yakho yeemvakalelo kwaye unxibelelane neemvakalelo zakho
• Thatha ixesha lokugxila kwizinto ezilungileyo okanye into eyenza uzive ulungile malunga nomfanekiso wakho
• Zikhumbuze ngawo wonke umsebenzi wakho onzima kwaye uthathe ikhefu. Nika ingqondo yakho ukuphumla okufanelekileyo
• Chitha ixesha ukonwabela ezinye izinto zokuzonwabisa zezibini

9 Camngca uze uphefumle

Ungu uhlala usilwa neqabane lakho? Ngaba uyathandabuza ukubaluleka kwakho emtshatweni wakho, okanye ukufumanisa kunzima ukuzithanda ngaphezu kwesoka okanye intombi yakho? Ukuzama ukufunda ukuzithanda kubudlelwane 'nazo zonke iziphene zakho, kwaye hayi ngaphandle kwazo? Nasi isisombululo: Zoba isilayi esincinci sezulu ekhayeni lakho apho unokuyonwabela amandla endalo iphela.

Khanyisa amakhandlela anevumba elimnandi, bamba iincwadi eziphakamisayo, kwaye udlale umculo opholileyo, opholileyo othetha nomphefumlo wakho. Zinikele imizuzu embalwa suku ngalunye ukuze ucamngce. Ndithembe, sisenzo esivuzayo sokuzithanda esizisa uxolo kunye nokulingana kubudlelwane bakho kunye nobuntu bakho bonke.

10. Phuma kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela

Abanye abantu bathi, "Ukuthandana nawe yimfihlelo yokuqala yolonwabo." Ngaba uyafuna ukwenza uthando olunjalo? Thatha umngeni oya kukwenza uzive ngathi uliqhawe elibalaseleyo. Phuma kanye kuloo ndawo yokuthuthuzela kwaye woyise into obusoloko uyoyika. 

Ngaba awuzange uzame umdlalo we-adventure? Bhalisela i-adrenaline-pumping expedition. Ukuthiya ukupheka? Nxiba loo faskoti kwaye ujonge ikhitshi ngochulumanco olutsha. Awunalwazi malunga nekhowudi? Bhalisa kwikhosi kwaye wamkele imfihlakalo yokucwangcisa. Kwaye ukuba uziva ngathi ubudlelwane bakho bukwenze wakhululeka kwaye wonqena, unokuhlala ufumana imincili izinto zokuzonwabisa zezibini kwaye uzame kunye neqabane lakho ukuba ninonge izinto. Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba uchithe ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye neqabane lakho kwaye ukwandise uhambo lwakho lokuzithanda.

11. Linda

Ukuzithanda luhambo oluqhubekayo kwaye kufuna umonde. Usenokuba uchithe ubomi bakho bonke usilwa neemvakalelo zokungafaneleki, utsiba imiqobo, yaye uzama ukufikelela imilinganiselo yebutho labantu engekho ngqiqweni. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, sihlobo sam. Ukuzithanda ngumsebenzi oqhubekayo. 

Yiphathe njengesiqhelo sokuzilolonga-ziqeqeshe, kwaye ube yi-cheerleader yakho. Yamkela amandla omonde kwaye uvumele ukuzithanda ukhule ibe yinto engaqhelekanga. Lo mkhwa uya kukunceda uhlale umonde kubudlelwane bakho kunye qhagamshela neqabane lakho kwinqanaba elinzulu. 

12. Baphathe kakuhle abanye

Kubalulekile ukuvavanya indlela oziphatha ngayo wena kunye neqabane lakho kubudlelwane bakho. Ngoko landela umgaqo wegolide - phatha abanye ngendlela ofuna ukuphathwa ngayo. Kodwa nantsi intsingiselo: ukuphatha abanye kakuhle akuthethi ukuba uyazihoya. Konke malunga nokufumana loo balance yomlingo. Xa usazi ukuba uzithande njani kubudlelwane, ngokwendalo ubonakalisa ububele nemfesane ku-bae wakho nakwabanye. Ngoko ke, sasaza ezo mvakalelo zilungileyo kwaye ube ngumzekelo oqaqambileyo wothando nentlonipho. 

13. Yithi “hayi” xa kuyimfuneko

"Hayi" - igama elinamandla elinokuphelisa ubudlelwane obunobungozi, imisebenzi yomphefumlo, kwaye udwebe umgca kunye namaqabane angacingeliyo, amalungu omndeni kunye nabahlobo. Musa ukuba ngoyena mntu ukholisa abantu othatha ubunzima behlabathi kwaye ulibale ngababo iimfuno kubudlelwane. Ziqhelise ukukwazi ukuthi hayi. 

Ayikwenzi ube liqabane elibi – ikwenza iqhawe elizithandayo nelilaziyo ixabiso labo. Ukuthi "hayi" kwiqabane lakho nakwabanye xa kuyimfuneko kunokwenza ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye nonxibelelwano lube lula kwaye zisombulule iingxaki ezininzi.

14. Misela kwaye unxibelelane nemida

Ukuzithanda wena kuqala kubudlelwane kuthetha ukuhlonipha iimfuno kunye nemida yakho. Xela ngokucacileyo imida yakho kwiqabane lakho kwaye uqinisekise ukuba bayahlonitshwa. Oku kunokubandakanya ukuxoxa ngendawo yakho yobuqu, ixesha uwedwa, iimfuno zovakalelo, okanye nawuphi na umba obalulekileyo kuwe. Khumbula ukuba, ukuzibekela imida kuluphawu lokuzihlonela, yaye kuyalomeleza ulwalamano lwenu ngokukhuthaza ukuqondana nokuhlonelana.

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15. Gxila kulonwabo lwakho kunye neemfuno zesondo

Ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo kunye nolonwabo yimiba ebalulekileyo yokuzithanda ngaphakathi kubudlelwane. Nxibelelana ngokuphandle nangokunyaniseka neqabane lakho malunga neminqweno yakho, iingcinga kunye nemida. Jonga amava amatsha, ulinge ngokwahlukileyo iindlela zobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kwaye uyibeke kwindawo yokuqala impilo-ntle yakho yesini. Khumbula, ulonwabo lwakho lubalulekile kunye nokuvakalisa iimfuno zakho kwigumbi lokulala sisenzo sokuzithanda kunye nokholo kwiqabane lakho.

16. Philisa umntwana wakho wangaphakathi

Nika umntwana wakho wangaphakathi ibhere. Ukwamkela ukuzithanda kuthetha ukukhathalela loo manxeba adlulileyo kwaye uzikhulisele kuvuyo kunye nokuphelela. Ngokuphilisa umntwana wakho wangaphakathi, wenza isiseko esiluqilima sothando olunempembelelo entle kubudlelwane bakho. Ivula indlela yonxibelelwano olunzulu nolunentsingiselo kunye nehlabathi liphela.

17. Gxininisa kwijenali yombulelo

Thatha umzuzwana ukuxabisa zonke izinto ezimangalisayo ebomini bakho. Shifta ukugxila kwakho kwinto osweleyo uye kubuninzi obukungqongileyo. Thatha loo jenali kwaye ukhulule amandla akho okubulela! Bhala phantsi izinto ezilishumi onombulelo ngazo yonke imihla. Zifunde kwaye uzifunde kwakhona, kwaye uvumele amandla alungileyo ahlambe phezu kwakho. Xa usebenza kwindawo yombulelo, indalo ikunyakazisa ngeentsikelelo ezingakumbi.

18. Musa ukuthelekisa

Ngaba uyazithelekisa kunye exes iqabane lakho okanye nabani na ongomnye. Xa uziva umona kubudlelwane, zama ukulinganisa oko kubuhlungu ngaphakathi, oko ukufuna ngokwenene, noko kufuna ukuphiliswa. Ukwamkela ukuzithanda kuthetha ukuzamkela kanye njengokuba unjalo, iziphene kunye nazo zonke. Khulula isidingo sokuzithelekisa nabanye. Khumbula, ubhala ibali lakho elingaqhelekanga, ungazami ukungena kwibali lomnye umntu. Ke beka phantsi loo ncwadana yothelekiso, wamkele ukohluka kwakho, kwaye ushukumise uhambo lwakho lokuzithanda ngokuzithemba.

19 Thetha kakuhle nawe

Khawufane ucinge ukuba unomntu ochwayitisayo osoloko ekuphakamisa ngamazwi othando nawenkuthazo. Kulungile, qikelela ntoni? Unokuba yi-cheerleader yakho. Xa ujonge esipilini, bhiyozela into onayo kwaye uzihlambe ngamazwi amnandi. Ziphathe ngobubele kunye novelwano olufanayo onokuthi ulubonise kumhlobo wakho osenyongweni okanye umphefumlo wakho. Khumbula, indlela othetha ngayo nawe ibeka ithoni yendlela abanye abakuphatha ngayo. Ke, yiba yi-BFF yakho kwaye uthethe ngobubele kuwe kuqala.

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20. Yakha ubuhlobo ngaphandle kobudlelwane

Ngelixa ubudlelwane bakho bothando bubalulekile, kubalulekile ngokulinganayo ukugcina unxibelelwano kunye nobuhlobo ngaphandle kwayo. Ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane kunye nabahlobo kukuvumela ukuba ube nenkqubo yenkxaso kunye nemvakalelo yobuntu ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho bothando. Ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo abakuphakamisayo nabakukhuthazayo kunokonyusa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye ube negalelo kulonwabo lwakho lonke. Ngaphaya koko, ukuba nonxibelelwano olwahlukeneyo lwentlalo kubonelela ngeembono ezahlukeneyo kunye namava atyebisa ukukhula kwakho kwaye akuncede uzithande ngakumbi.

21. Ziqhelise iziqinisekiso ezikhuthazayo

Ngaba uyafuna ukulahla iingcinga ezingakhiyo kunye neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo? Iziqinisekiso zothando kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kwimeko enjalo. Hlala uzixelele - ndonele, okanye ndingaphezulu kokwaneleyo. Zixelele oku de ishicilelwe kwi-subconscious yakho. Kukho amakhadi amaninzi okuqinisekisa akhoyo kwimarike, kwaye ungawazama into yokuqala rhoqo kusasa. Wave amagama njengoko uwathetha ngokuvakalayo, kwaye ujonge indlela akuguqula ngokumangalisayo ngayo kunye nobudlelwane bakho nomntu wakho okhethekileyo.

Amandla okuzithanda alele ngaphakathi kuwe, alindele ukuba akhululwe. Njengoko uqalisa kolu hambo lokuzifumana kunye nokuzithanda, zilungiselele inguqu engafaniyo nenye. Yamkela ubudlelwane obakha kunye nawe kwaye ungqine ukuba buqaqamba njani kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho, kubandakanya nobudlelwane bakho bothando. Ukuzithanda kwakho okutsha kuya kuba ngamandla aphakamisa ubomi bakho bothando bube kubude obungaqhelekanga. Kwaye khumbula into kulo lonke olu hambo lumangalisayo - unayo le nto!

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.