Ke, usanda kuphuma kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo usendleleni eya ekholejini. Lixesha lokuba uzifumane, ufunde into entsha, uphonononge into okwaziyo ukuyenza, kwaye ewe, ukuza kuthi ga ngoku! Ukuthandana ekholejini kuye kwaba ngumxholo wamakhulu eefilimu ozibonileyo ukususela ngonaphakade. Ngoko sele uyayazi indlela enokuba mnandi ngayo loo nto.
Mhlawumbi sele nithandana kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kodwa wena kunye nesithandwa sakho samabanga aphakamileyo ngoku nigqibe ekubeni nihlukane njengoko esi sahluko silandelayo sobomi benu sifika kuni nobabini. Musa ukuba glum nakuba, ngokuba kwikholeji ukuthandana inokuba umdlalo ibhola ezahlukeneyo kunye namava ufanelwe! Nokuba inokubaluleka kangakanani, iya kukufundisa izifundo ezininzi ezibalulekileyo. Ubuya kuxoka ukuba uthe ingcamango yokuthandana ekholejini ayikanifumani nonke, kwaye mhlawumbi uloyiko oluncinane kakhulu.
Yazi ukuba awuwedwa. Kwabanye abantu, ukudlala ngothando nokuthandana akuzenzekeli ngokwemvelo. Ukungazithembi ukusuka kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kusaqhubeka, kwaye ukuthetha nomntu omtsha kuyothusa. Ingakumbi ukuthandana kunyaka omtsha ekholejini, xa ujongene nesigidi sezinto ezintsha kunjalo - ukukhangela ubomi bokuthandana kwikhampasi kunokuba nzima kuneklasi yakho ye-Econ.
Ngaba ukuthandana ekholejini ngokwenene njengephupha njengoko iimuvi zenza ukuba kube njalo? Ngaba uya kudibana nomntu othandana naye okanye ube nolonwabo olungenamitya? Ewe, xa kufikwa kubafundi beekholeji kunye nobudlelwane, zonke iintlobo zezinto zinokwenzeka. Silapha ukuze uqinisekise ukuba akukho nto ingena endleleni yakho ukuthandana ubomi ekholejini ngezi 18 iingcebiso.
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Isiqulatho
Ukuthandana nomntu ekholejini yingxowa exubeneyo. Ungayibetha ijackpot, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba uqonde emva kweeveki ezimbalwa ukuba lo mntu angabikho *eyona* yeyakho. Siyathemba ukuba ubungazimiselanga ukufumana "oyena" ngelixa uthandana nomnyaka wakho omtsha wekholeji.
Ingcamango yabantwana beKholeji yothando inokususela kwi-Arby's takeout ukuya kwibhiya naliphi na ithuba olifumanayo. Izipaji ezibhityileyo zikhokelela kwiindlela ezikrelekrele ngokwenene zokufumana imincili yakho enexabiso eliphantsi. Ukuba kukhe kubekho isaphulelo kwivenkile yokutyela ekufutshane, ulapho phambi kokuba iibhodi zesaphulelo ziphakame. Masingene kanye kwizinto esizaziyo malunga nokuthandana ekholejini, ukuze ungagqibeli ungenalwazi ngokupheleleyo:
1. Imibono yokuqala ibalulekile kodwa musa ukulangazelela kakhulu ukuchukumisa
Uvile ngokucacileyo ukuba lincinci ixesha elithathayo ukuba umntu akugwebe. Kwaye ngokwemvelo, unomdla wokugweba abantu ngokwakho. Emva kolo suku lokuqala eklasini, isiqingatha sabantwana siya kuba sele senze uluvo oluqinileyo ngawe.
Kubalulekile ukuba ungabonakali unobuhlobo kakhulu, hleze uphume njengento ekhangayo okanye i-pushover. Ngokufanayo, ungazami ukuphola ngokunxiba iindondo zelanga ngaphakathi kwintetho yakho yokuqala. Kungenjalo, onke amathemba akho ukuthandana unyaka freshman ekholejini ukuze nje wehle umjelo.
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2. Hlala unyanisekile kuwe xa uthandana ngelixa usekholejini
Kunjani ukuthandana ekholejini? Ewe, ukuyibeka ngokuthe tye, inokuba yinkohlakalo. Uza kubizwa ngoko nangoko njengomntu okrwada eklasini ukuba uthetha kakhulu okanye ujongela phantsi omnye umntu. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba ube nobubele kwaye uhlale unyanisekile kwinto oyiyo. Okanye onke amathemba akho okuthandana kuloo klasi angaqala ukuba nombono ongaphantsi kune-elungileyo ngawe.
Ukuba uyahlekisa ngokwemvelo, ihlekisa intombazana uya kwenza iqhinga xa uzama Ace ukuthandana ngoxa ekholejini. Ukuba unomtsalane, ekugqibeleni uya kwenza unxibelelwano oluhle. Ukuba umde, kulungile ke awufumani kukhalaza nantoni na.
3. Musa ukungena kubudlelwane ngoko nangoko
Into enabafundi beekholeji kunye nobudlelwane kukuba abanye banokuziva benesidingo sokutsibela kwinto enzulu nomntu wokuqala abavale amehlo kunye naye. Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba kube njalo.
Ukuthandana kunyaka omtsha wekholeji idla ngokungcakaza kuba awubazi abantu abakungqongileyo okwangoku. Thatha ixesha lakho, lo ayingomdlalo weTV wokwenyani apho kufuneka ukhethe iqabane lakho ngaphambi kokuba omnye umntu ambhuqe. Musa ukuyingxamela okanye usenokuzisola ngokunzulu ngesigqibo sakho.
4. Indawo yokutyela yasekholejini asiyondawo yomhla
Nayiphi na indawo, ukuba ikwikhampasi, ayisiyiyo ilungiselelo elifanelekileyo lomhla. Kwabo kuni abangekhoyo abathandanayo abangenathemba, ingcamango yakho yothando inokusebenzisa i-tweaks ezimbalwa. Siyazi ukuba imali iqinile kuwe ngoku, kodwa ikhefi yasekholejini ayifaneleki njengomhla. Kunjalo nakwiDunkin' Donuts ekhampasini.
Akukho mntu uthi kufuneka utshize imali ukuze wonwabe, kodwa ukuba iqabane lakho licela umhla kwaye ucinga ukuba indawo yokutyela iya kufaneleka, cinga kwakhona kwaye ubatsalele kwiChipotle ezantsi kwesitrato usuka kuwe.
5. fashion Good yenye amacebiso abalulekileyo ukuthandana kubafundi beekholeji
Oku kubaluleke kakhulu ekuthandeni kwikholeji yabafana ukususela kuhambo lwabo lwefashoni luhamba ngolu hlobo: unyaka wokuqala, ucwangciso olucokisekileyo lubandakanyeka kwimpahla; kunyaka wesibini, mhlawumbi abantu baya kubona i jeans efanayo kathathu ngeveki; kunyaka wesithathu, wena ngokulambisa ukwenza ngaphandle PJs yakho njengoko uleqa kuwe iklasi yokuqala yosuku.
Into oyinxibayo ichaza okuninzi ngobuntu bakho. Kwangoko kubomi bakho basekholejini okanye mhlawumbi nangaphambi kwayo, khetha isitayile osithandayo kwaye unamathele kuso. Akukho nto iphezulu, sinethemba (ungagqoki i-jean ye-baggy low-waist, asikho kwi-2002). Yigcine ilula, inesitayile kwaye icocekile.
6. Musa ukoyika ukudlala ngothando
Musa ukuchitha ixesha elininzi uzama ukuqonda indlela yokudlala ngothando xa ufuna ukuqala ukuthandana abadala kwikholeji, thumela nje ukuba isicatshulwa flirty ngapha. Yonke le nkqubo iyavuyisa, kuquka nokuxhalaba okufumanayo xa ubabona bebhala impendulo. Ukudlala ngothando yindlela eyonwabisayo yokwazisa umntu ukuba uyamthanda, ngoko ungoyiki, ubomi bufutshane kakhulu. Ngaphezu koko, akukho nto unokuphulukana nayo. Awuzukubakhumbula aba bantu emva kweminyaka eyi-6-7, siyathembisa.
7. Yiba nembeko
Qwalasela le yenye yeengcebiso ezinkulu zokuthandana zabafundi beekholeji. Kanye njengokuba ufanele udibane naye nabani na odibana naye okokuqala, kufuneka uwuphathe ngentlonipho 'umhla' onokubakho. Ungaze ungabahloniphi abantwana ofunda nabo okanye uzame ukubonakala upholile ngokubeka umntu phantsi. Iyakukwenza ubonakale ukrwada kwaye unqwenela ukubonakala upholile.
Abanye bathi kulula ukuthandana ekholejini for guys, kodwa musa ukucinga ukuba nje ngokuba friendly kuthetha ukuba uzama ukufumana ibhulukhwe yakho. Phatha wonke umntu kakuhle, awusoze wazi ukuba kuya kufuneka nini ukuthatha amanqaku abo okanye ucele umntwana okrelekrele ukuba akuncede ngenkcazo-ntetho yakho (okanye akwenzele yonke into).
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8. Yiya kwiimbutho zolonwabo
Ukuba uthandana nomntu ofunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ngelixa usekholejini, ngokuqinisekileyo oku akufuneki kuwe. Kodwa ukuba unomdla wokuqalisa ubudlelwane obutsha bekholeji, funda olu ngokusondeleyo. Xa ufuna ukuthandana ekholejini, ukuhlalisana kuhlala kungumbono olungileyo.
Ukuba ungumntu ongeyonto/uneentloni kwaye udiniwe kukuhlala usithi “yiza nje, kuya kuba mnandi!” Kuya kufuneka uhambe kodwa kuphela ukuba uziva ulungile. Amatheko eKholeji yinto ongasokuze ube nayo ngenene kwakhona. Ukutsala ubusuku bonke emva kweminyaka engama-25 kuthuthunjiswa, ngoko uyonwabele ngelixa uhlala. Nokuba ukhona dating njenge introvert, zixelele ukuba le yimihla ongayi kuphinda ungene ebomini bakho.
9. Awungomntu okhohlakeleyo ukuba ufuna ukungena ekholejini ungatshatanga
Ukuba uza ekholejini sele uzibophelele, kulungile ngokugqibeleleyo ukuba neengcinga zesibini malunga nobo budlelwane. Siqinisekile ukuba nabani na ongaphezulu kweminyaka engama-25 uya kukuxelela ii-sweethearts zamabanga aphakamileyo azisoloko zisebenza. Okuyinyani ngokwezibalo, ubuncinci. Ayinguye wonke umntu onqunyelwe ukuthandana nomntu kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ngelixa ekholejini okanye eqala ubudlelwane obukude kunye nentombi endala efunda e-NYU.
Ke, ukuba ufuna ukungena kubomi bakho basekholejini ungatshatanga, kulungile. Nokuba oko kuthetha ukohlukana no-bae wakho "ubomi nangaphaya". Kwisicwangciso esikhulu sezinto, akunamsebenzi kwaye uya kuyiqonda ngokukhawuleza ngokwaneleyo.
10 Abanye abantu abafuni nto inzulu
Uye wazifumanisa intloko phezu izithende umntu kuphela ukuba uqaphele ukuba akukho nokuba ukhangela ubuhlobo. Kuqhelekile ukuba abafundi basekholejini bangafuni nantoni na enzulu kwaye babe mnandi. Yiloo nto malunga nabafundi abaninzi beekholeji kunye nobudlelwane.
Ngoko musa ukubeka ithemba lakho ekufumaneni umntu oya kuguga naye, ngelixa usekholejini. Umbono wokufumana umntu othandana naye ekholejini ubonakala unomtsalane kodwa ungawuvumeli ukuba umfamekise. Ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, xa yenziwe kakuhle, inika umdla kakhulu. Kungasoloko kumnandi ukuzama izinto ezintsha.
11. Musa ukuyivumela ukuba ilawule ubomi bakho
Ukuba uzifumana uthandana nomntu ekholejini, qiniseka ukuba usenobomi ngaphandle kwayo. Kuthiwa xa uthandana uphulukana nabahlobo ababini abasenyongweni. Ungalivumeli elo nani lijike libe ngama-20, kwaye nceda ukhumbule ukuba usesekholejini apho izabelo kunye namabakala abaluleke kakhulu.
Kulungile ukutsiba amaqela ambalwa ekholejini xa ungathanda ukuba neqabane lakho kodwa ukwenza oko ngalo lonke ixesha umntu ekumema ukuba uye kwenye kuya kubangela ukuba kungabi samenywa kuyo nantoni na, naphi na. Ikholeji ngamava ongasayi kuphinda uwafumane, ungavumeli ubudlelwane bakho bubophe.
12. Musa ukuvumela iimvakalelo zakho zibe ngcono kuwe
Kubantu abaninzi, oku kunokuba ngowokuqala amava / ubudlelwane babo. Njengoko uza kufumanisa kungekudala, iimvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha zinokukuchaphazela. Imilo iya kuba mbi, iingxaki ziya kuba namandla kwaye umonde wakho uya kuvavanywa. Zama uku wulawule umsindo wakho kubudlelwane kwaye ningabhubhisi yonke into efikayo endleleni yenu emva kokulwa nobabini. Yiba nokuqonda, ukulungele ukulalanisa kunye nomphulaphuli olungileyo. Uya kufunda ngakumbi ngawe ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na.
13. Abantu baya kuthetha ngani nobabini, mayingakukhathazi
Kunjani ukuthandana ekholejini? Newsflash: Abantwana basekholejini ngamanye amaxesha abakhuli. Enye yezona zinto zinkulu ukwazi malunga nokuthandana ekholejini kukuba iza namahemuhemu amaninzi abantwana abangekavuthwa baya kusasazeka. Siqinisekile ukuba akukho kholeji inye emhlabeni apho ingaze yenzeke loo nto. Ungakuvumeli ukuba kukukhathaze, bayacaphukela nje kuba abanaye umntu wokwahlula ityala lokutya.
14. Umgama omde ngumgama omde
Umgama omde wokuthandana ekholejini kunzima kakhulu ukuwugcina. Izilingo ziya kuza ngobuninzi (ukuba uyayazi into endiyithethayo). Mhlawumbi uya kwenza ezininzi iimpazamo zobudlelwane obude izibini zenza. Kuba nina nobabini nisakhula kwaye nizazi nani, kwiminyaka embalwa, ubudlelwane benu buya kutshintsha kakhulu.
Usenokutshintsha ube ngcono, kodwa inyaniso ihleli kukuba umgama omde wokuthandana ekholejini yenye yezona zinto zinzima oza kuzenza, ngakumbi ukuba anizinikelanga ngokupheleleyo omnye komnye.
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15. Zama ukungenzi into yobudenge…kodwa ekugqibeleni uya kuyenza
Siqinisekisa ukuba kukho ithuba eliyi-100% lokuba UYA kusela isicatshulwa kulo mntu "awunakukwazi ukugqitha". Kwaye kulungile, yinxalenye eyimfuneko yobomi ukuhamba kwizinto eziya kukwenza ube cringe ngalo lonke ixesha uzikhumbula. Enye into yobudenge ongafanele uyenze: ukukopela (ewe, le yenye yeengcebiso zokuthandana zabafundi beekholeji). Ngenxa yokuba usekholejini ayikuniki iholo lokupasa ukwenza nantoni na oyifunayo.
16. Thatha kancinci xa uthandana ngelixa usekholejini
Siyayifumana, iihomoni kunye nayo yonke loo nto. Ngokukodwa xa uthandana nomntu ophezulu kwikholeji onamava kakhulu kunawe, uchulumanco luya kwelinye inqanaba! Kodwa uninzi lwenu, olu inokuba lulwalamano lwakho lokuqala okanye iqela labanye abaqalayo.
Ukuba uthandana nomnyaka wakho omtsha wekholeji, akukho mfuneko yokuba ungxamele kuyo nantoni na. Into yokuba usekholejini ayithethi ukuba kufuneka uphulukane nobuntombi bakho ngosuku lokuqala. Ayingomdyarho, plus abantwana basekholejini abayazi ncam into abayenzayo ebhedini.
Ukufumana iividiyo ezingakumbi zengcali nceda ubhalise kwisiteshi sethu seYouTube. Cofa apha.
17. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba wenze umhla
Nokuba kubonakala ngathi wonke umntu okujikelezileyo usebudlelwaneni, kulungile ukuba awufuni kuba kunye. Ukungajola ekholejini akuthethi ukuba awuyi konwaba. Nabani na okugwebayo ngokungafuni ukuthandana ekholejini uyakwenzela inceba. Baza kukubonisa ukuba kufuneka uhlale kude nobuntu babo obugwebayo.
18. Ubomi bakho abukapheli ngenxa nje yokuba ubudlelwane bakho buphelile
Oku mhlawumbi yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuthandana kwiingcebiso kwikholeji sinokukunika. Intliziyo yakho yokuqala ebuhlungu inokwenza kubonakale ngathi umhlaba wakho uyawohloka ngakuwe. Uye wazixilonga ukuba udangele kwaye ithemba alifumaneki ndawo. Ukuba unokukhumbula ngempumelelo ukuba olu lwalamano aluzange likuchaze kwaye izinto ziya kuba ngcono ekugqibeleni, uya kulunga.
Yeka ukuzisola emva kokwahlukana kwakho kwaye uye kulaa theko limnandi umenywe kulo. Ngapha koko, ukwahlukana kuya kukufundisa into omawuyiphephe kunye namaqabane azayo, okanye indlela yokuba kubudlelwane.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubuza bani, baya kukuxelela ngenkangeleko nostalgia ukuba ukuthandana ekholejini ngamava emangalisayo. Izaliswe zizifundo kunye nolonwabo, kodwa okona kubaluleke kakhulu uphuma kuyo uzazi ngcono. Logama nje uqhelisela ukwabelana ngesondo ngokukhuselekileyo kwaye ungenzi nto imbi kakhulu ekhampasini, awuzukungena engxakini kakhulu.
FAQs
Kuphando olwenziwa kwiikholeji ezingama-24,000, i-61% yabafundi ichaze ukuba baye bahamba ngeentsuku. Oko kuthetha ukuba ngaphezu kwesiqingatha seqela lomhlobo wakho mhlawumbi ngaphandle uzama ukuchukumisa umhla wabo. Ikholeji izaliswe ngabafundi abathe banikwa inkululeko eninzi kwaye le nkcazo ibonisa ukuba bazama ukwenza okona kulungileyo.
Hayi, hayi ukuthandana ekholejini akumangalisi! Ukuba ufuna ukugxila kwizifundo zakho, oko kulungile ngokupheleleyo. Okanye ngenxa yaso nasiphi na isizathu awufuni ukuthandana ngoku, ukhetho lwakho. Uyayenza wena!
Sithiyile ukuqhekeza kuwe, kodwa ukuthandana kwizibalo zasekholejini zithi ubudlelwane bakho bunamathuba amaninzi okusilela kunokuba baphele emtshatweni. Abafundi beekholeji bahlala betshintsha kakhulu kwiminyaka ezayo. Utshintsho lunokupela intshabalalo kubudlelwane kodwa ukuba ucinga ukuba umfumene umntu wakho, akukho sizathu sokuba ungazami.
Ngaba kusempilweni ukwabelana ngesondo nomntu ongathandani naye?
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
