Ukunonga ezo ngokuhlwa emva kosuku olubi emsebenzini, okanye ukucwangcisa into enomdla ukuyenza ngeeholide, kunokuba luluvo oluhle ukucwangcisa usuku oluphindwe kabini. Umhla ophindwe kabini ngokuyimfuneko ufana nomhla oqhelekileyo kodwa ngokuzonwabisa okuphindwe kabini kunye nokuphinda kabini abantu.
Ukuhlala kunye neqabane lakho rhoqo ngobusuku kuyathandeka, kodwa kungekudala kunokuba ngumcimbi ongathandekiyo. Ukuyikhaba phezulu kunye nokwazisa umahluko othile kubudlelwane bakho, ukuthandana kabini kunokuba yinto enomdla ngokwenene.
Uyazi ukuba imihla yokuqala inokuba nzima kangakanani, ngakumbi ukuba udibana nomntu ovela kwi-intanethi yokuthandana? Nantsi imbono! Kuthekani ukuba uceba umhla kabini kunye nesinye isibini nice ukusuka isangqa yakho yentlalo? Kuyakuthatha uxinzelelo kuwe ukuba ubambe incoko ebandakanyayo ubusuku bonke, oko kukodwa ngesandla.
“Umhla ophindwe kabini ubutshintshile ubomi bam,” utshilo uJennifer Brown, umcebisi wepropathi, oseCalifornia. “Abafana babefunda nabo ekholejini baza basicela ukuba sithandane kunye nomhlobo wam. Emva kweminyaka embalwa, satshata sobabini kwabafana abafanayo. Ingxaki yethu yokuthandana kabini yaqhubeka kwaye iminyaka engama-25 isezantsi xa abantwana bethu bekhulile kwaye sixakeke ngamakhaya nemisebenzi, sisazenzela ixesha lokuthandana.
Ewe, ngaba loo nto ayikwenzi ube nomdla kancinane nje? Ukuba ngenene unqwenela ukuya kumhla ophindwe kabini kodwa awuzithembanga ngokwaneleyo okwangoku, sinengxowa egcwele ulwazi ukukunceda wenze isicwangciso esipheleleyo ngemibala ephaphazelayo.
Yintoni A kabini Umhla?
Isiqulatho
Izinto zokuqala kuqala, makhe sicacise umoya malunga nokuba yintoni kabini ukuthandana kubudlelwane. Umhla ophindwe kabini kuxa izibini ezibini zihamba kunye kunye nenjongo elula yokuzonwabisa. Umhla ophindwe kabini ubudlelwane bunempilo kuba kukho ubuhlobo kuphela phakathi kwesibini kwaye akukho mntu uya kubetha omnye umntu kwisibini esikhaphayo.
Iyintoni inqaku lomhla ophindwe kabini? Ivumela izibini ezimbini ezinengqondo efanayo ukuba zonwabe kunye kwindawo yokutyela, kwiimuvi, kuhambo lwangempelaveki, okanye nje ekhaya phezu kweziselo kunye nemidlalo yebhodi. Yiyo loo nto omnye umthetho ophambili kabini umhla kukugcina PDA ukuba ubuncinane kwaye akufuneki kubekho iziqhulo ngaphakathi ekwabelwana isibini kuba abahlobo babo ukuze bazive bengamkelekanga.
Kwakhona, ungaze uye kumhla ophindwe kabini ngenjongo yokujingi. Yeyona nto imbi kakhulu leyo. Imihla ephindwe kabini yenzeke phakathi kwezibini ezitshatileyo kwaye akukho mbuzo wobudlelwane obuvulekileyo. Kwelinye lamanqaku abo, YeSayensi yemihla ngemihla uthetha ngeenzuzo ezimbini zomhla, ezibandakanya ukuvuselela inkanuko kunye nentlantsi kubudlelwane bakho.
Njengoko ucela isibini ukuba sihlangane kabini, ufumana ithuba lokutshintshiselana ngee-anecdotes ezifanayo kwaye uxoxe ngemiba yobuqu ehambelanayo ongenakuhlala uyenza nabahlobo bakho abangatshatanga. Kwaye ekugqibeleni, njani ukuphinda kabini umhla? Makhe sixubushe oko ngokweenkcukacha ezingakumbi.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Abatshatileyo Therapist Thetha malunga iiPros kunye Cons Of Open Relationships
Iingcebiso ezili-15 zomhla ophindwe kabini ukuze ube nexesha elimangalisayo
Umhla ophindwe kabini yenye apho uceba i-outing kunye nesinye isibini. Inokuba sisibini osaziyo ukusukela ekholejini, umntu osandul' ukudibana naye kanye ethekweni, okanye isibini esicetyiswayo kwisangqa somhlobo wakho. Ukuthandana kabini kuyanceda kuba yongeza umaleko omtsha wochulumanco kubudlelwane bakho.
Xa uwedwa, iqabane lakho lidla ngokutyhila icala elithile kuwe, icala olaziyo. Nangona kunjalo, xa bebaninzi abantu abakumxube kunye nokutshintsha kwemeko, banokukhupha ezinye iinkalo zobuntu babo. Ukuze ube nomhla ophumeleleyo kabini ngakumbi ukuba ungumntu omtsha, nasi isikhokelo sabaqalayo ukuya kwimihla ephindwe kabini:
1. Ngaba kabini ukuthandana ingcamango elungileyo?
Le nkxalabo iphambili kufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo kwasekuqaleni. Kubalulekile ukujongana nokuba le nto iqabane lakho livulelekile okanye lizimisele ukuyenza. Asinguye wonke umntu owonwabileyo okanye oziva ekhululekile ukuba kunye nesinye isibini. Kuba mnandi kuphela xa kukhululekile kumntu wonke. Ukuthandana kabini akufanele kuguquke kunobangela iingxoxo zobudlelwane.
Kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho liyayonwabela, ngaba kufuneka kube kukuphuma rhoqo okanye kube kanye kwiinyanga ezi-3? Ezi zizinto omele uxoxe ngazo kunye neqabane lakho ukuze imihla yakho kabini ibe enesiqhamo endaweni yokuba ibe counterproductive. Cwangcisa imibuzo yakho yomhla kabini kunye namathandabuzo ngqo phambi kokubandakanya esinye isibini emfanekisweni.
2. Ukukhetha isibini esifanelekileyo
Oku kunokuba ngumsebenzi onzima kodwa kufuneka ukhangele phambili kuwo. Kuya kufuneka uhluze uluhlu lwakho lwabahlobo kunye nabantu obaqhelileyo ukwenza isigqibo ngesibini ofuna ukuchitha ixesha naso. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe ngumntu osondele kakhulu okanye umntu okude kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka kubekho intlantsi ethile.
Kuvela nje ukuba ngubani wena, njengesibini, onokuthi uvuyise. Ukongeza, kufuneka ibe ngumntu iqabane lakho elinento efanayo. Awufuni ukuyibetha ngokulula kunye nomntu oyindoda kwaye ubukele intombi yakho yehla ngonyawo olungalunganga kunye neqabane layo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ibaluleke kangakanani imidla eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane?
3. Cwangcisa umsebenzi ngononophelo
Eli nyathelo lifuna ulwazelelelo oluthile. Akubalulekanga nje kuphela ukukhetha into enidibana ngayo wena neqabane lakho, kodwa into leyo iqabane lakho nalo elijonge phambili kuyo. Oku Kulungile ukuthandana etiquette. Umzekelo, uyathanda ukudlala ibhola yepeyinti kwaye ngokwenene inokuba ngumsebenzi omangalisayo weqela.
Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukulinganisa uhlobo lwesibini ohamba naso. Ukuba bakhetha ukutya okuhlala phantsi okanye ubusuku befilimu yangaphakathi, ke ukubethwa ngamabala epeyinti ubusuku bonke akuyi kuba ngumbono omhle. Ke, le yinto ekufuneka uyenze imephu kwiincoko zakho kunye nabo. Buza imibuzo ebalulekileyo yomhla kabini kwaye musa ukutsiba umpu kwaye ucwangcise into abanokucinga ukuba iyingozi.
Apha, sicebisa ukuba ugcine utywala bakho ubuncinci ngokuhlwa. Akukho nto ibeka amahlwempu umhla imizekelo kabini kunokuba umntu puking yonke indawo. Okanye okubi ngakumbi, naluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha kakubi oluya kukuzisa kuphela ihlazo kwaye uzisole ngentsasa elandelayo.
4. Ukukhetha indawo efanelekileyo
Nokuba yeyiphi na imisebenzi oyikhethileyo, kubalulekile ukukhetha indawo etofotofo kuzo zombini izibini. Awufuni ukuba neqabane lakho liqhube ukusuka kwi-25 yeemayile ngaphandle kwedolophu kuba awukwazi ukufumana okwaneleyo ngendawo entsha ye-sushi kwisitalato esikhulu. Abayi kuyeka ukuxambulisana ngayo.
Xa usiya kumhla ophindwe kabini, musa ukubhenela ekuboniseni kwesinye isibini kwaye ukhethe indawo yokutyela ephucukileyo ekungekho namnye kuni oya kuyonwabela. Umhla wesidlo ekhaya unokuba mnandi ngakumbi kulo mbandela. Unxibelelwano olucacileyo phakathi kwezibini lukhuthazwa kakhulu. Lumkela uhambo lokuhamba kunye nokuba ikude kangakanani indawo kuni nobabini. Indawo yentlanganiso yaphakathi ilungile ngaphandle kokuba ngumhla wasekhaya.
5. Qaphela iinqanawa zokuqhekeza umkhenkce
Ukuba uya kumhla ophindwe kabini kunye nesibini ongasiqhelanga ngokusondeleyo, wena kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka nenze imizamo edibeneyo ukuze ubazi. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba nangona iqabane lakho likuwe, kufuneka usebenzisane ngokufanelekileyo nabanye abajikeleze itafile.
Eminye imibuzo edumileyo yokubuza isibini inokuba malunga nendlela abadibana ngayo, ithini imbali yabo, imisebenzi yabo, kunye nokunye. Masithi, ngaxa lithile, uphelelwa yimibuzo oza kuyibuza ngomhla ophindwe kabini, ukudlala imibuzo ethi 'ngubani olaziyo iqabane labo ngcono' kunokuvuselela umoya kwakhona. Iinketho zandisa ngakumbi ngomhla wasekhaya. Zisa umdlalo webhodi owuthandayo kwaye ungene kwitumente yezibini ezinobuhlobo. Ukuba akukho nto, kusoloko kukho ukungcamla iwayini ukuqala incoko ebandakanyayo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Yeyiphi eminye imibuzo eLungileyo yoMhla wokuQala ukuze wazi umntu?
6. Musa ukuqhayisa ngelixa kabini ukuthandana
Enye yeempazamo ezinkulu zokuthandana kabini kukuqhayisa phambi kwesinye isibini. “Heyi sithandwa, bonisa aba bafana imifanekiso yohambo lwethu lwaseHawaii!” Ukuba kugqithisile, kunokukwenza ukuba kubonakale ngathi ungumntu obonisayo. Okubi kakhulu, ukuzama ukuba yindoda ye-alpha yeqela.
Kuhle ukwabelana ngezinto ezincinci, kodwa kuya kufuneka ujonge ukuba esinye isibini sinomdla kwii-anecdotes zakho okanye hayi. I-Anecdotes ilungile ukwakha incoko kodwa lumka into enokuthi ivakale ngathi kwesinye isibini. Akufunekanga bacinge ukuba lo mhla kabini lukhuphiswano okanye i-standoff engathandekiyo.
7. Lay low kwi PDA ngomhla kabini
Ibunzi elincinane lincamisa apha kunye nedlelo engalweni kukho konke okuthandekayo kwaye kuyamkeleka kwi-double date. Kodwa kakhulu kuloo nto, kwaye ufumene ukuthambeka okumtyibilizi. Awufuni ukuba esinye isibini sizive singakhululekanga yiPDA. Ukuthandana kabini kukuzonwabisa ngentsebenziswano kwaye akubonakalisi uthando lwakho. Yiba yisiqu sakho sendalo, musa ukuyekelela kuloo nto. Nangona kunjalo, yigcine ilula, musa ukuphinda-phinda, kwaye uzibandakanye ngakumbi nesangqa.
8. Kungcono ukuhlala ecaleni okanye ngaphesheya komhla wakho?
Lo ngumbuzo osebenzayo ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukonwaba okukhulu kuye wonke umntu. Ngomhla wesidlo sangokuhlwa okanye okufanayo, mna ngokobuqu ndivumela imeko ikhokele kwaye ndigqibe ngendlela endifuna ukuzibeka ngayo. Uninzi lwabantu luhlala ecaleni kwamaqabane abo xa bethandana, ngakumbi ukuba kukho isibini abadibana okokuqala.
Musa ukubila. Yenza nje into ekwenza uzive ulungile ngalo mzuzu. Ungade wenze isiqhulo kwaye kancinci ubuze esinye isibini ukuba singakhetha ntoni. Akukho biggie kwaphela.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iingcebiso ezingama-20 eziBalulekileyo kuMhla wokuQala emva kokudibana kwi-Intanethi
9. Ngubani ohlawula ngosuku oluphindwe kabini?
Yiba i-bill ukuba oko kukuthanda kwakho ngokwendalo, kodwa ungaze ulwe umlo. Akukho mntu uyonwabela umva naphambili kwidrama ethi "Makhe ndihlawule i-bill''. Ukwahlula i-bill ngelixa i-double dating, ngokoluvo lwam, yenye yezona ngcebiso zibalulekileyo zomhla wokuqala.
Kukwaxhomekeke kakhulu kubudlelwane bakho obusekiweyo nesi sibini. Ukuba bakumemile ukuba uphume, kusafuneka unikezele ngokubhatala ubuncinci isabelo sakho neseqabane lakho. Ukuba ubamemile ukuba baphume kwaye uziva unesisa, hamba yonke indlela ukuba uyafuna (nangona AKUFUNEKA wenze njalo).
10. Yazi ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ukuthetha ngantoni
Xa uqinisekisa ixesha elilungileyo kuye wonke umntu, qiniseka ukuba awushiyi omnye wakho obalulekileyo ngaphandle kwe-equation. Khumbula ukuba oku kumalunga nokuba nexesha elimnandi kwaye ukuba akwenzeki oko, kufuneka uqonde ukuba yintoni engahambi kakuhle.
Enye enkulu kabini ukuthandana dos and donts imalunga oversharing. Qaphela ukuba ingakanani iti iqabane lakho elizimisele ukuyichitha malunga nobudlelwane bakho. Ukwenzela incoko, musa ukuncokola ngamabali alihlazo okanye iincoko zangasese ezinokuthi iqabane lakho lingakhululeki ukuxoxa ngalo.
11. Babeke phambili iimfuno zabo ngomhla wekhaya
Xa ubamba, ungumphathi onamandla wenqanawa ephindwe kabini. Ukulungelelanisa umhla kuxhomekeke kakhulu emagxeni akho kwaye kufuneka ube yingcali kuyo. Xa ulungelelwaniswa kakubi, urhatya lunokukwenza ubonakale ngathi ngumhla okruqulayo.
Ukhenketho lwendlu, ngakumbi xa uhlala neqabane lakho, yindlela entle yokuqala. Thatha imidlalo yebhodi egqibeleleyo, ulumkele ukhetho lomntu wonke lokutya, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, qiniseka ukuba unokhetho lomntu wonke oluthandayo lwe-nightcap. Yenza nje into eyenziwa ngumamkeli olungileyo kwaye ucinge ngeembono ezithile zomhla.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Kufuneka umntu obhinqileyo athethe malunga ntoni ngomhla wakhe wokuqala?
12. Yiba nencoko kodwa ungaphazamisi
Musa ukuba loo mfo ufumana uluhlu olude lwemibuzo ukubuza ngomhla kabini ngaphandle internet. Ngelixa kukuhle ukujonga izimvo kwaye ugcine imibuzo embalwa engqondweni, musa ukwenza kubonakale ngathi usicengceleze sonke iskripthi. Okukhona izenzekela, kokukhona ingcono. Xa usazi esinye isibini ngosuku oluphindwe kabini, imibuzo yokubuza isibini kufuneka ibonakale ingenamsebenzi kwaye kulula.
Kwakhona, yiphephe imibuzo emininzi yokulandelela. Xa kuziwa kubomi bothando, kungcono ukuvumela abantu bavuleke endaweni yokubaxabanisa ngemibuzo yobuqu. Ukuba esinye isibini sabelana ngesithethe sokulala esinomdla okanye isiganeko esonwabileyo, yixabise nje endaweni yokuchitha yonke into yobudlelwane babo. Awungomnyangi wabo, ukwi date yobuhlobo.
13. Vula ukuba uzame izinto ezintsha ngosuku oluphindwe kabini
Ngenxa yothando lukaThixo, zama ukuba ungabi yi-spoilsport. Le yenye “yokungamelwe kukuyenza” kwi Izinto ongazenziyo kunye nezinto ongazenziyo xa ngomhla wangaphandle. Akukho mntu uyakuthanda xa usithi, "Ndiyithiyile ukudlala intenetya" okanye "Ilanga linamandla kakhulu namhlanje". Xa wonke umntu uzama ukuba nexesha elihle, hamba kunye nokuhamba endaweni yokuyijika ibe yinto engathandekiyo yomhla.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba utsibe ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwendawo yakho yokuthuthuzela kodwa ungabahliseli bonke abanye abantu. Inqaku elipheleleyo lomhla ophindwe kabini kukuhlola izinto ezintsha. Ke ngoko, kufuneka uzamkele izinto ezicetyiswa sesinye isibini.
14. Gcina umdlalo we-cross-flirt ubuncinci
Kunokuba mnandi ukudlala ngothando neqabane elahlukileyo, wakuba sele uzenzele ubuhlobo obuhle kunye nabo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthandana kabini kusengumdlalo weentliziyo ezixutywe nomdlalo wobuhlobo. Enye yezinto ezibalulekileyo zesikhokelo sabaqalayo ukuya kumhla ophindwe kabini ibandakanya ukuzoba umda osempilweni kunye nesinye isibini, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwelizwi.
Kunokucaphukisa nabani na ukubukela iqabane lakhe lidlala ngothando kwabanye. Xa uthatha inxaxheba kumhla ombini, uzama ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho. Sukumema isihogo esitsha ngesenzo esingenabuchule. Xela unxibelelwano lwakho ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ungaze ucebise nantoni na ngokugqithisileyo ngesondo ngendlela engakhethiyo. Awufuni ukuwela nabani na, nokuba injongo yakho imsulwa kangakanani na.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Imibuzo engama-36 yokwakha ubudlelwane onokuyibuza iqabane lakho
15. Kangakanani ukuba kabini umhla kwakhona?
Xa ubunexesha elimnandi nesinye isibini, amathuba okuba ufune ukuyenza kwakhona. Bonisa imincili yakho kwaye ukhangele phambili kuyo, kodwa musa ukunyanzelisa oko njengomntwana ovuyayo. Vumela esinye isibini ukuba sikhokele kwaye mhlawumbi sibavumele bacebe uhambo olulandelayo. Le yenye ye imithetho ukuthandana.
Kukamsinyane kangakanani ukuyenza kwakhona, yehla kuwe kunye noogxa bakho. Sukuthi, “Heyi, masizame kwakhona kule veki izayo!”, endaweni yoko hamba nothi, “Sibe nexesha elimnandi namhlanje, singathanda ukukubona kwakhona xa ufumaneka.” Eyangaphambili inokuphuma inamandla kancinane kwaye le yokugqibela ivumela indawo yokuphefumla.
Ke, ngaba oku kucacisa yonke imibuzo yomhla ophindwe kabini ubunayo engqondweni? Ungathembela kwiingcebiso zethu njengencwadi yesandla ukuba ufuna ukuseta imizekelo yomhla omangalisayo kabini kwaye ufumane amanqaku athile e-brownie kwiqabane lakho. Gcina ukhumbula, imihla kabini akukho nje malunga nobabini. Kunoko, kumalunga nokuhlalisana. Zama ukuhamba ngengqondo evulekileyo ukwenza wonke umntu oseqeleni azive amkelekile kwaye ugcine imiba yakho yobuqu ilindile ngorhatya olunye. Uza kubona, ukwimeko entle ngokwenene!
FAQs
Ivumela izibini ezimbini ezinengqondo efanayo ukuba zonwabe kunye kwindawo yokutyela, kwiimuvi, kuhambo lwangempelaveki, okanye nje ekhaya phezu kweziselo kunye nemidlalo yebhodi.
Inokuba luluvo olulungileyo kumhla wokuqala ukuba uziva unovalo kunye ne-jittery kunye nokubandezeleka dating ixhala. Ukuhamba ngomhla ophindwe kabini kunokukunika ukuzithemba ngakumbi ukuba udibana okokuqala emva kokuthandana kwe-intanethi.
Gqiba ngemisebenzi kunye neendawo kunye, phumla kwaye upholile, gcina iPDA encinci, gcina imida yobudlelwane obunempilo kwaye ujabulele inkampani kunye neencoko.
Kuxhomekeke ekubeni usondele kangakanani njengesibini esithandanayo kunye nokuba uyonwabela kangakanani inkampani yomnye.
Ukuthandana neGolide Digger yajika yaba ngamava amabi kakhulu
Indoda endala Umfazi Omncinci: 9 Izizathu zokuba Ukuthandana kunye neGap yobudala isebenza
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
