Njengoko indawo yokuthandana iya isiba nzima ngemini, ayimangalisi into yokuba ixhala lingangena njengevili lesithathu elingamkelekanga. Amabhabhathane esiswini sakho, iintendelezo ezibilayo, kunye nentliziyo ebalekayo – konke oko kungenxa yokuba sele uza kuthandana. Ivakala iqhelekile? Ukuba ewe, zilungiselele ukukhaba ixhala lokuthandana kumjikelo kwaye wamkele uhambo olonwabisayo lokufumana umdlalo wakho ogqibeleleyo!
Uyazibuza ukuba njani? Ewe, sinesona sikhokelo sokugqibela sokukunceda ukuba ujonge amajiko kunye neenguqu zokuthandana ngelixa ugcina impilo yakho yengqondo ilungile. Ngoncedo lwe Shambhavi Agrawal (MSc. in counseling psychology), ogxile kwixhala, ibhalansi yobomi bomsebenzi, ukudakumba, usizi, kunye nemiba yenguqu yobomi, masinike ubomi bakho bothando isiqalo esitsha!
Liyintoni Kanye Kanye Ixhala Lokuthandana?
Isiqulatho
Ngokutsho isifundo, app-based online ukuthandana inkcubeko inxulunyaniswe ngokuthe ngqo ukuwohloka iziphumo zempilo yengqondo. Ngaphezulu kwe-28% yabasebenzisi kwezi apps bachaze ukuxhamla kwi-self-esteem kunye noloyiko olugqithisileyo lokuthandana ngenxa yamava abo amabi ngokuthandana kwi-intanethi. Kodwa, kwenzeka ntoni kanye xa ufumana olu hlobo lwexhala? Makhe sifumanise.
Iinerve, amabhabhathane, ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo - kwanele ukwenza ukuba ufune ukufihla phantsi kwenqaba yengubo kwaye ungalokothi uhambe. Kodwa nantsi into: ukuxhalaba okugqithisileyo malunga nokuthandana kufana ne-monster phantsi kwebhedi yakho engayi kuyeka. Iyachwechwela kuwe, ikushiye inyanda yemithambo-luvo phambi komhla. Inokukwenza ukuba ube nebheyile ngeentsuku!
Umzekelo, unayo i umhla wokuqala Ukuza, kwaye ngequbuliso ingqondo yakho iba ngumlawuli bhanyabhanya, idlala iwaka leemeko ezahlukeneyo zendlela enokuthi ihambe ngayo. Ukulindela, ukungaqiniseki - kukwenza ube nexhala. Ukusuka ekucingeni ngaphezu kwayo yonke intshukumo ukuya kuthi gqolo ukubuza ukuba omnye umntu uziva njani ngathi, yindlela yoxinzelelo. Kwaye masingawalibali loo mava amabi omhla wokuqala anokuthi asiguqule sibe ngabathandabuzi, asenze sibuze ukuba kufanelekile na. Kodwa musa ukoyika, mhlobo wam, kuba sinomqolo wakho. Zilungiselele ukufunda iindlela ezili-12 ezimangalisayo zokoyisa ixhala lokuthandana kwaye uphinde ulawule ubomi bakho bothando!
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Ngaba ixhala lomhla wokuqala liqhelekileyo?
Ixhala lokuqala lomhla? Kuqhelekile ngokupheleleyo! Besikhona sonke, siziva ngathi sisiqhuma semithambo-luvo esilungele ukudubula. Intwana yokucinga kakhulu phambi komhla ayiqhelekanga okanye ayiqhelekanga. Sonke sinezo ngcinga zidlulayo njenge:
- "Kuthekani ukuba banokundijonga kwaye babaleke iinduli?"
- “Kuthekani ukuba ndithetha into esisidenge kangangokuba babaleke?”
- “Andazi ukuba kunjani ukuba novalo kumhla wokuqala”
- "Kuthekani ukuba ndichithe into kwaye ndizenze isidenge kwi-dat yokuqala? "
Ukuziva unexhala malunga ubudlelwane obutsha kuyinto eqhelekileyo xa uqala ukuthandana. Logama nje ezi ngcinga musa ukuthatha phezu okanye ukwenza urhoxise umhla ngenxa ixhala, nonke nilungile. Kodwa kwabanye abantu aboyika ukuthandana, kufana nokulwa ngokupheleleyo. Basenokude bafunge ukuba bayathandana ngokupheleleyo, nangona ezantsi, banqwenela ubudlelwane bexesha elide. Nantsi into eyenziwa ngumntu onexhala lomhla wokuqala ngaphambi kokudibana neqabane elinokubakho:
- Ukuba novalo kakhulu kwaye ungaphumli
- Ukubila kakhulu
- Ukuba jittery kunye nokoyika ukuthandana
- Ukungakwazi ukwenza uqhagamshelo lamehlo
- Akubonakali ngathi uqalisa incoko namaqabane othando
- Ukuphefumla ngokukhawuleza ngentliziyo ebetha ngamandla
- Ukuhlalutya okunokuthi kungahambi kakuhle ngomhla
Logama nje ezi ngcinga zingakongameli kangangokuba awukwazi ukuqhubeka nezicwangciso zakho okanye uhlale ulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo, kulungile.Ukuba ifika kwinqanaba apho ezi mvakalelo zoloyiko ziwonakalisa ubomi bakho bothando kwaye ube nexhala lokuthandana, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uqale ukunikela ingqalelo kwimpilo yakho yengqondo, utshilo uShambhavi.
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Indlela yokuzola i-nerve yokuqala yomhla?
Ukuthetha ngento enokwenziwa ukulawula umzabalazo we imithambo-luvo yomhla wokuqala, iReddit umsebenzisi uthi: “Khawucinge ngolu hlobo ke, akusayi kuthandana. Uya kuyo nayiphi na indawo nalo mntu mtsha enithanda izinto ezifanayo naye. Ukukunceda ngakumbi, nazi iindlela ezimbalwa zokulungisa ngokukhawuleza ukoyisa ixhala elinenkani malunga nokuthandana:
- Mamela umculo omnandi okanye uzitotose ngonyango lwe-spa ngaphambi komhla
- Mhlawumbi uthenge into encinane okanye ukhethe isipha seentyatyambo ngosuku lwakho
- Musa ukuvumela amazwi entlokweni yakho athathe intlawulo kwaye akuqinisekise ukuba lo mhla sesona sigqibo sibi ebomini bakho
- Sukuzifaka uxinzelelo olukhulu kuwe ukuze uchukumise lo mntu
- Hamba ngengqondo evulekileyo ngethemba lokonwaba
- Lungisa i-cheatsheet yakho ye imibuzo yomhla wokuqala ukubuza ukuze ungaphelelwa zizihloko onokuthetha ngazo
- Phefumla, phefumlela ngaphandle - zama ukugxila kulo mzuzu wangoku. Unayo le!
Iimpawu ezi-5 zokuDating ixhala
Ngaba ukhe wacinga ukuba "ukuthandana kundinika ixhala" ngaphambi okanye emva kokudibana nomntu? Kuba awuwedwa. Ubume bokuthandana kwezi ntsuku, ngakumbi kunye nee-apps zokuthandana, zenze ukuba kube ngamava abuhlungu kwabanye. Ke yintoni ebeka ixhala malunga nokuthandana ngaphandle kwemvakalelo eqhelekileyo yovalo? Ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba novalo malunga nokuthandana, uyazi njani xa ezi mvakalelo zingenampilo? Ezi mpawu zi-5 ezicacileyo zokuthandana zibamba impendulo:
1. Ulindele ukuba umhla wakho ube yintlekele
UShambhavi uthi: “Enye yeempawu ezibonisa ukuba uxhalabile xa uthandana kukuba ulindele okubi kakhulu, kufana nokuba uziva uxinezelekile kangangokuba ulindele ukuba izinto zingahambi kakuhle kwaye uzive uqinisekisiwe xa zisenzeka. Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba waliwe phambi komhla wokuqala ngamnye, nikela ingqalelo kwiipatheni zakho zokuziphatha. Le ngqondo inokukhokelela ngokulula ekuzitshabalaliseni kwaye iphazamise naliphi na ithuba lokwenyani ubudlelwane bexesha elide. Kwimeko enjalo, nazi iingcinga ezimbalwa onokuba nazo:
- Ndiyoyika ukusondela kodwa ndiyakonyanya ukuba ndedwa
- Ndiyoyika ukuya edate okokuqala
- Ndiyoyika ukuphinda ndingene kwi relationship
- Andazi ukuba ukoyisa njani uloyiko lokwaliwa ukuthandana kwaye ngaloo ndlela ndizive ndinexhala lokuphuma
2. Uyiyeka imihla yakho rhoqo
Ukuba ingcinga nje yokuya kumhla okanye ukudibana nomntu omtsha ikuthumela kwi-tailpin yoloyiko, kwaye uze nezizathu ezingaphezulu kunokuba unokuzibala ukurhoxisa izicwangciso, lixesha lokuthatha inyathelo. Zama ukukhumbula ukuba ukhe wabheyile ngomhla kunye nezizathu ezininzi ezingakhethiyo. Okanye mhlawumbi ude waphakama umntu kuba awukwazanga ukuzifaka kuyo? Ezi ziimpawu ezibonisa ukuba ukuxhalaba malunga nokuthandana kukubambe.
3. Awukwazi ukuba nguwe
Ngoku, sonke sifuna ukwenza umbono olungileyo ngomhla wokuqala kodwa xa ixhala lilawula, uyasokola ukuba ube nguwe wenene. Iingcinga ezimbi kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi ukuthandana amava kukubambezela ekuboniseni yokwenene iqabane lakho elinokubakho. Nazi iimpawu ezimbalwa zokuxhalaba kwi-intanethi kwimeko enjalo:
- Iprofayile yakho inezinto ezimbalwa ezithandabuzekayo kuyo (uninzi, yi-6-feet-mde abayibeke kwii-apps zabo zokuthandana)
- Uzama kakhulu ukuba uze nayo imigca engcono yokuthatha ukuchukumisa umntu kwi-app yokuthandana
- Ulayisha kakhulu iifoto zakho ezihlelwe kakhulu
4. Ucazulula yonke into
Xa uthandana ngokuxhalabileyo, kwanezona nkcukacha zincinane ziba yimixholo ehlolisiswa kakhulu. Kufana nokuba ingqondo yakho ikwi-overdrive yokuhlalutya yonke intsebenziswano enye. Nazi izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uziqaphele:
- Indlela ohlala ngayo, intshukumo yezandla zakho, impendulo kunye nolwimi lomzimba lomhla wakho - yonke into encinci iyachithwa kwaye igqitywe.
- Uqala ukwenza izigqibo kwezona zinto zingabalulekanga
- Ukuba umhla wakho ucela ukuba uphinde into oyithethileyo, ixhala lakho lingakuqinisekisa ukuba abanamdla
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5. Unengxaki yokuxhalaba emva komhla
"Ngaba kuya kubakho umhla wesibini?" "Ngaba baya kuzithobela izithembiso zabo?" “Ukuthandana kundenza ndibe nexhala! Ngaba babendithanda kwaphela?” Eli lixhala lasemva komhla, apho uhlala ukhathazwa yinto enokonakala. Nolona ulibaziseko luncinci okanye ukunqongophala komdla ukusuka kumhla wakho kunokukuthumela ukujikeleza. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuze uzikhusele kukwaliwa okunokwenzeka, unokude uthabathe inyathelo umva, ubashiye bezibuza ngeziphumo ukuthandana nomntu onexhala.
Iindlela ezili-12 zokuhlangabezana nexhala lokuthandana
“Ixhala lokuthandana linokuba ngumqobo ekufuneni iqabane.” Xa yonke into odibana nayo nomntu omtsha ingcoliswe luloyiko nexhala, lincinane ithemba lokunandipha ukudibana okunjalo. ukuthandana ngokukhawuleza kakhulu, ukuqalisa ubuhlobo obutsha, okanye kwanokuthandana ngokungekho sikweni kunokuqalisa ukuphazamisa imbono yakho ngekamva,” utsho uShambhavi.
Ngaphandle koko, inokuchaphazela kakhulu ubuntu bakho, impilo yakho yengqondo, kunye nobomi bakho bentlalontle. Oku kunokukushiya uzibuza ukuba ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane ixhala xa uthandana nomntu omtsha. Ewe, nokuba awukwazi ukuzikhulula ngokupheleleyo kuyo, unakho ukuyilawula ngokufanelekileyo ukuze ingaphazamisi amandla akho okukhokela ubomi obunqwenelayo. Ezi ndlela zili-12 zokumelana nokuthandana xa unexhala ziya kukunceda uqalise inguqu:
1. Beat dating ixhala kunye nethemba
"Ixhala lobudlelwane, ngokubanzi, isekelwe kwiinkolelo ezingekho ngqiqweni kakhulu. Iinkolelo eziye zabethelelwa ezingqondweni zethu kodwa azixhaswa naziphi na izibakala. Xa uzama ukukubuza uloyiko lwakho kwaye uhlengahlengise olo loyiko ngezivakalisi ezivumayo ngakumbi, unokuqalisa ukuqinisekisa ukuba aniphinde nithandane ninexhala.” Unokuzixelela izinto ezifana nezi:
- "Lo mhla uzohamba kakuhle"
- “Nokuba umhla awuhambi kakuhle, ndiza kuphila”
- "Ndiza kwenza konke okusemandleni am kwaye yiyo yonke into endinokuyenza"
- “Ndiza kuba nexesha elimnandi kunye nesithandwa sam kwaye ndonwabele ngokupheleleyo”
2. Shifta ugxininiso lwakho kuzo (ngengqondo yoxabiso)
"Ekupheleni kosuku, xa unesimo sengqondo sokwamkela kunye nokuxabisa ngakumbi kubantu odibana nabo, unokukholelwa ukuba bavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo ngawe. Zama ukunciphisa isimo sakho sengqondo esikholisa abantu kwaye ugxininise kumhla wakho endaweni, "UShambhavi usixelela. Ngokwenza oko, musa ukunikel’ ingqalelo kwiintsilelo zabo okanye kwizinto abasenokungazithandi ngawe, endaweni yoko nikela ingqalelo kwizinto ozithandayo ngabo.
3. Lungisa umdla wakho
Uyazibuza ukuba ungayifumana njani ixhala lokuthandana kunye nendlela yokwenza yeka ukuba novalo ngemihla? Lungelelanisa umdla wakho wokufunda malunga nobomi bomhla wakho, amava, iinkolelo kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni. Yiza nezihloko ezimnandi zomhla wokuqala ukwenza incoko ihambe. Nje ukuba ubabone ngendlela abayiyo, basenokungabonakali boyikeki.
4. Thetha nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni okanye nomntu omthembileyo
Ukuba awukadibananga nomhla wakho kwaye unenkathazo yokujongana neemvakalelo zokuxhalaba, ukuthetha nomhlobo okanye umntu omthembileyo kunokunceda. UShambhavi uthi, “Ukuthetha ngexhala lakho kunceda kakhulu. Thetha nabantu osele ubazi kwaye ubathembile. Ukuphalaza imbilini yakho kumntu oza kukukhuthaza kwaye akugcine usemngciphekweni wakho kunokunceda kakhulu ekunciphiseni iimpawu zokuxhalaba othandana nazo.”
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5. Ceba kusengaphambili ukuze uthintele uloyiko onalo lokuthandana
Xa ezo mvakalelo zokuxhalaba ziqala ukwakha, ukungaqiniseki okuncinci okunje kunokukukhathaza:
- Iza kuba njani i-ambience?
- Sesiphi isinxibo esifanelekileyo kwindawo okhethwe kuyo umhla wakho?
- Ithini imeko yokupaka?
- Iya kubiza kangakanani na be?
Kodwa xa uthatha inxaxheba ekucwangciseni umhla, sele uzazi iimpendulo zale mibuzo kwaye unokukhetha indawo efanelekileyo kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela. Ngoko ke, kwixesha elizayo, endaweni yokubheyile, zama ukuza nenye imibono emnandi yomhla. Ukuba uziva unoloyiko malunga nokuthandana kwaye uye kwindawo ongayaziyo, cebisa ukuba udibane kwindawo ekufutshane. Ukuba useto olusesikweni lukwenza ungonwabi, khetha indawo yokutyela enesidima, eyomileyo.
Ingcebiso ekhawulezayo: Xa udibana nabantu abatsha okokuqala okanye ufuna ukuqala ukuthandana kwakhona, qiniseka ukuba ugcina impilo esempilweni kwaye ulala ngokwaneleyo. Oku kunokubanceda ngokwenene abantu abaxhalabileyo ukuba bacwangcise kusengaphambili baze bahlukane neengcinga ezingakhiyo.
6. Gcina izinto zilula kwaye zonwabile
Ngaba ufuna ukwazi ukuba ukuzola phambi komhla, njani ukuba uvalo ngomhla wokuqala, okanye ukufumana phezu ukuthandana ukungakhuseleki? Ungcungcuthekiswa kukuthandana usetyenziso okanye kunzima ukuzithemba okuphantsi ukuthandana? Nasi isisombululo: gcina incoko ilula kwaye ilungile. Kuphephe ukubhengeza izihloko ezinobuqhetseba ezinokuzisa iimpendulo ezikhwankqisayo, zibangele iinkumbulo ezibuhlungu, kwaye wenze yonke i-vibe ibenzima ngemvakalelo yokungakhathali. Ukukhanya kunye ne-vibe epholileyo kunokunceda ukuthomalalisa imithambo-luvo yakho kwaye kukwenze ukhululeke ukuba ukuxhalabele kakhulu ukuthandana okanye ujongene noxinzelelo lwasentlalweni.
7. Thetha ngokwakho
Ukuzithemba okuphantsi, okuyiyona nto iphambili yokuxhalaba yokuthandana, kunokukhokelela ekubeni abantu bazijonge ekukhanyeni okubi. Usenokuziva unexhala lokuya kwimihla ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukucinga ngayo nantoni na ekwenza unqweneleke okanye ube nomtsalane komnye umntu. Nangona kunjalo, wonke umntu unesabelo sakhe seempawu ezintle, ii-asethi, kunye neesuti ezinamandla. Ngoko jonga into ekwenza ube wodwa. Iprojekthi eli cala elihle kuwe ngemihla.
Kwaye xa ukwindawo ekhuselekileyo, zibuze le mibuzo ilandelayo:
- Kutheni ndibuphepha ubudlelwane?
- Kutheni ukuthandana kundenza ndibe nexhala?
- Kutheni ndinexhala lentlanganiso kwaye ndizive ndoyika kakhulu ukwaliwa nto leyo endenza ndifune ukuyeka ukuthandana?
8. Seka ubudlelwane phambi kokuba uhambe ngeentsuku
Nokuba uqhagamshelwe nge ukuthandana app okanye zisetwa ngabahlobo abahlukeneyo, qala ngokuthumela imiyalezo kwaye emva koko uphumelele ukuthetha ngefowuni. Thatha inyathelo lokuhamba ngomhla wokwenene kuphela xa uziva ngathi uyazi kwaye uqonde omnye komnye ngandlel 'ithile. Ubuncinci, ke akusayi kubakho mininzi into eyothusayo ezayo indlela yakho yokuqalisa ixhala lakho.
9. Ziqhelanise neendlela zokuphumla
Ukuba unexhala malunga nokuthandana, amathuba okuba iimvakalelo ezixhalabileyo zinefuthe kwezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho. Ngaloo ndlela, ukusebenzisa ezi ndlela zokuphumla kunokukunceda ukuba umelane neemvakalelo ezinzima:
- Ukuphefumla nzulu kunye ukucamngca ukuphiliswa
- Ukuhlaziya ukuphumla kwezihlunu
- U kuhamba
- Imifanekiso ekhokelwayo
Ngokufanelekileyo, kuya kufuneka uzenze zibe yinxalenye yendlela yakho yokuphila ukuze umelane noxinzelelo ngokufanelekileyo. Ezi ndlela zinokuba luncedo ngakumbi ekuzithobeni nanini na xa uziva ucinezelekile ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ufuna ukurhoxisa umhla ngenxa yexhala.
10. Zicoce ngokuxhalaba kwakho
"Ndoyika kakhulu ngaphambi kokudibana nomntu omtsha, ndingaloyisa njani ixhala?" Ukuthetha ngale ngxabano yangaphakathi kunokukunceda ukuba ujonge ixhala loluntu kunye nobudlelwane ngcono. Xa sele useka inqanaba elithile lokuthuthuzela kunye nomhla wakho okanye iqabane elinokubakho, zityand' igila kubo kwaye ubazise ukuba unengxaki yokuxhalaba malunga nokuthandana okanye ukuthandana sigcawu. Oku kuya kubanceda baqonde indlela osabela ngayo kunye nokuziphatha kwakho ngcono. Zama oku ukuba ukuxhalabele kakhulu ukuthandana okanye ujongene namaxhala entlalontle.
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11. Zisike kancinci
Ukuba nangona wenza konke okusemandleni akho, a umhla wokuqala emva kokudibana kwi-intanethi ayihambi njengoko bekucwangcisiwe, musa ukuzibetha ngayo. Zibambe emqolo ngokuba nesibindi ngokwaneleyo sokuphuma ukudibana nomntu omtsha. Jonga ukuba ungasusa ntoni na kula mava angaphantsi-kunokunqweneleka kwaye uwasebenzise ukuze usebenze ngokwakho.
12. Funa uncedo lweengcali
Ngaba uyazibuza ukuba ungayifumana njani ixhala lokuthandana kunye nendlela yokuyeka ukuba novalo ngemihla? "Ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ucinga ngendlela oyiyo kwaye ufumanise indlela yokujongana nayo kubaluleke kakhulu. Eyona ndlela ingcono yokwenza oko kukucebisa. Umcebisi weengcali unokukunceda uqonde iipatheni zakho kunye nezinto ezibangela ukuba ucele umngeni kubo, "utsho uShambhavi. Ukuba ufuna uncedo, abacebisi bethu abanezakhono nabanamava IBonobology's iphaneli zisoloko zilapha ngenxa yakho.
Iimpawu eziphambili
- Ukuxhalaba xa uthandana nomntu omtsha yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuxhalaba ekuhlaleni eyenza abantu babe novalo kakhulu phambi kokuba badibane neqabane elinokubakho
- Dating ixhala kubangela Ibandakanya umonzakalo wangaphambili, ubudlelwane obuyityhefu obudlulileyo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, uloyiko lokuphononongwa ngabanye abantu, kunye nokungaqiniseki malunga nemeko yakho yezemali okanye imbonakalo.
- Usenokuthanda rhoxisa umhla ngenxa yexhala, uzive jitters, kwaye ulindele iimeko ezimbi kakhulu
- Enye indlela yokujongana nexhala lokuwela eluthandweni kukutshintsha ugxininiso lwakho kumhla wakho kuwe, uphulaphule, ubuze imibuzo, kwaye uthathe umdla kubomi babo.
- Endaweni yokuzama ukubachukumisa ngosuku lokuqala, gcina iincoko zilula, ziqhelanise neendlela zokuphumla kwaye uzame ukonwabela inkampani yabo.
Ukulwa noxinzelelo kunye nothando lweengxaki ngelixa ukuthandana kunokuba yindlela eyedwa ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa khawucinge ntoni? Unamandla okuguqula izinto kwaye ulawule iimvakalelo zakho ezixhalabileyo. Konke kuqala ngokuzazi okuncinci kunye nokuzimisela ukuhlukana naloo mapatheni amadala. Thatha umoya onzulu, zikhumbuze ngokubaluleka kwakho, kwaye wamkele uchulumanco lokuhlangana nabantu abatsha. Khumbula, ufanelwe luthando, kwaye ilapha phandle ikulindile. Qhubeka, mhlobo wam, kwaye ubukele njengoko umlingo uqhubeka!
Eli nqaku lihlaziywe ngoJulayi 2023.
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Ukuthandana kunokukunika ixhala kuba kubandakanya ukudibana okukhawulezileyo, ukoyika ukwaliwa, kunye nokuziva ngathi uhlala ugwetywa ngamaqabane anokubakho.
Ukuba indawo yokuthandana ivakalelwa kakhulu kwaye uyoyika ukudibana nabantu abatsha okokuqala, ziqhelanise kakuhle. iziqinisekiso zothando kunye nobudlelwane. Oku kuya kususa iingcinga ezimbi kwaye kukwenze uzive ukhululekile phambi komntu omtsha. Thatha inyathelo lokuqala ukuziqhelanisa nezi ziqinisekiso zintle kwangentseni kwaye ujonge ukuba buguquka njani ubomi bakho bothando. Ngaphandle koku, ziqhelanise nendlela yokuphila esempilweni ngokulala ngokwaneleyo kwaye ufunde ukonwabela lo mzuzu wangoku. Ukufunda iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokumelana nokulawula iimvakalelo zakho zonxunguphalo kunokwenza indawo yakho yokuthandana ibe lula. Ukufuna uncedo lomcebisi kunokukunceda ukuba ufikelele ezantsi kwinto ebangela ukuxhalaba kwakho.
Ewe, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive uxhalabile malunga nobudlelwane obutsha ngenxa yokungaqiniseki malunga neemvakalelo zomnye umntu kunye nekamva lobudlelwane. Khumbula, abantu abaninzi bafumana le mithambo-luvo ekuqaleni kothando olutsha.
Ukuba ufuna ukuthomalalisa unxunguphalo lwakho ngokukhawuleza, zama ukuziqhelanisa nengqiqo kunye neendlela zokuphumla ezifana nokuphefumla nzulu, ukucamngca, umthambo wokuphumza izihlunu, ukubhala, okanye imifanekiso ekhokelwayo. Ezi ndlela zinokukunceda ukuba ufumane ukuzola kunye nokukhululeka ngexesha loxinzelelo.
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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
