12 Okulindelekileyo Okwenyani kubudlelwane

Izinto ezilindelweyo kubudlelwane zidla ngokubonakaliswa yidemon njengonobangela wokungoneliseki, iiyantlukwano kunye nokwahluka. Zikwayinxalenye engenakuthintelwa kunye nepasile yokudityaniswa komnye umntu. Nokuba ungena kubudlelwane obutsha okanye usebenza ukwenza obukhoyo obunempilo, okulindelweyo kuya kuhlala kudlalwa. Kunzima ukungalindeli kubudlelwane.

Ngokwahlukileyo kwinkolelo eqhelekileyo, aziyonto imbi. Ukuba uyayazi indlela yokwahlula phakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo nezingekho ngqiqweni, nxibelelana nazo ngokucacileyo, kwaye ungazibekeli phantsi. Ngapha koko, indlela eyiyo yokumisela ulindelo inokunceda ukususa imiba emininzi eqhelekileyo kangangokuba izibini zixambulisane kwaye ezinokuthi zijike zibe ngumthombo ongapheliyo wokungquzulana. Ngoku sele sifumanise ukuba ukulindela kwiqabane kuyinto yendalo kwaye ayinakuthintelwa, kukwabalulekile ukuphinda-phinda ukuba kufuneka wenze umzamo obonakalayo wokugcina ezi zinto ziyinyani kwaye zifezekiseka.

Oku kuphakamisa imibuzo emininzi: Ulubeka njani ulindelo lobudlelwane ngokusempilweni? Zeziphi izinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane? Ufumanisa njani ukuba iqabane lobudlelwane lilindele ntoni kwelinye? Uwutsala phi umgca phakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo nezisengqiqweni kubudlelwane? Ezi zinokuba ziingxaki ezibhidayo kakhulu ukuba zisonjululwe. Ungakhathazeki, kuba sineempendulo zakho. Siza kukuxelela indlela yokunxibelelana ngokulindelekileyo kubudlelwane, ngokubonisana ne-psychotherapist Jui Pimple, Umqeqeshi oqeqeshiweyo we-Rational Emotive Behavior Therapist kunye ne-A Bach Remedy practitioner, ojongene neengcebiso ze-intanethi.

Uzibeka njani izinto ezilindelwe kubudlelwane?

Ukunqongophala kokucaca malunga nemigangatho kunye nokulindela kubudlelwane kunokubulala. Ukuba uzifumene uzibuza ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo ziyawonakalisa ubudlelwane, yazi ukuba ayisosenzo sokulindela into kwiqabane lakho eyonakalisayo. Ukungakwazi ukubeka imigaqo malunga nolindelo olusempilweni kudla ngokuba ngoyena nobangela. Inkqubo yokumisela okulindelweyo kubudlelwane - obudala okanye obutsha - kufuneka ihlale iqala kuwe.

Ngaphambi kokuba uqalise ukubeka imithetho esisiseko kwiqabane lakho malunga nokuba yintoni esebenzayo nengasebenziyo, kufuneka uqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ngezi zinto. Ngoko, ziphe ixesha lokucingisisa. Qonda ukuba yintoni na oyifunayo kubudlelwane, ngaphandle kokuyenza igxile emntwini. Ngokomzekelo, gxila kwindlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuthembela kunye nentlonipho kuwe kwintsebenziswano yothando ngaphandle kokucinga ngezi zinto kumxholo weqabane lakho langoku (okanye elinokwenzeka).

Oku kubaluleke kakhulu ekusekweni okulindelweyo kobudlelwane obutsha kodwa kunokusebenza ngokunjalo ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nikunye ixesha elide, anizange nichaze izinto ozilindeleyo omnye komnye kunye nobunzima obungachazwanga - ergo, unmet - okulindelekileyo ngoku uye waba ngumthombo wokwenzakala, ukuphoxeka kunye nengqumbo kubudlelwane bakho.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Kutheni silindele ukuba uthando lothando luhlale luqinile ngonaphakade?

Akukho mathandabuzo ukuba nolindelo olukhulu kulwalamano kunokuba yingozi ekuhambeni kwexesha. Uya kuhlala uziva udanile kwaye ukhathazekile xa iqabane lakho lingenakukwazi ukuphila ngokwezinto ezilindelweyo. Yiyo loo nto ukucaca kwiimfuno, iimfuno kunye nokulindelweyo kubudlelwane kubalulekile. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukucinga ngeenjongo zakho zobomi, ixabiso, kunye nokulungela ukuba utyalwe ngokweemvakalelo komnye umntu phambi kokuba uthethe ngokulindelekileyo kubudlelwane.

Sondela kumsebenzi ngokubhala phantsi uluhlu “lolindelo lwam kwiqabane lam lobomi”, emva koko ujonge kulo izihlandlo ezimbalwa ukuze uhlole ukuba zeziphi kwezi ekufuneka ubenazo kubudlelwane obuphilileyo nezinokuxoxisana ngazo. Vumela iqabane lakho ixesha lokuhamba ngale nkqubo ngokunjalo. Nje ukuba udlule kweli nqanaba, sebenzani kunye ekusekweni okulindelweyo kubudlelwane. Ukuba nolindelo olusengqiqweni kulwalamano kuya kubonakala kusengqiqweni ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ngokwenza oku, nantsi izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzikhumbule:

1. Yiba nobuqili

Awunakuvele unike iqabane lakho uluhlu, uthi "Nazi izinto endizilindeleyo kolu budlelwane." Akunjalo nje indlela esebenza ngayo. Kunoko, gxininisa izinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe, ukuze baqale ukuqonda ukuba le yinto oyilindeleyo kubo. Umzekelo, endaweni yokuthi, “Sidibane nabahlobo bam ngesidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye ndilindele ukuba ube ufika ngexesha”, zama ukuthi, “Kubalulekile kum ukuba sifike ngexesha kwesi sidlo sangokuhlwa nabahlobo bam”.

Oku kuya kukunceda unxibelelane okulindelekileyo kubudlelwane ngendlela engajikiyo ibe yindawo ebuhlungu rhoqo kwinxaki yakho neqabane lakho. Kwakhona, kuya kunceda ekuqinisekiseni ukuba iqabane lakho aliboni ilinge lakho ekubekeni izinto ozilindeleyo kubudlelwane “njengendlela yam okanye uhola wendlela” isibhengezo. ijuyi ucebisa ngelithi, “Xa ubeka izinto ezilindelekileyo kulwalamano, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba oku kumacala omabini.Ngoko, kuya kuba kuhle ukuba uqale ubuze malunga nezinto ezilindelwe liqabane lakho kolu lwalamano kunye nawe, uze ngokuthe ngcembe wabelane ngowakho.” 

2. Cacisa

Musa ukubhidanisa ubuqili kunye nokulahla iingcebiso ezingacacanga. Ukulindela ukuba wena neqabane lakho beniza kuchitha impelaveki kunye nize nithethe izinto ezinjengokuthi “akwaba ubulapha” kusenokungasebenzi. Kunoko, baxelele oku, “Ndingathanda kakhulu ukuba ninokukhulula ngeempelaveki zenu ukuze sibe nexesha elingakumbi kunye.” Ukuba okanye hayi iqabane lakho liyazamkela iimfuno zakho kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwindlela onxibelelana ngayo okulindelekileyo kubudlelwane.

Kufuneka ubeke imigangatho kunye nokulindela kubudlelwane kwaye kufuneka ucace kwaye ukhulume malunga nento oyifunayo. Ukulahla iingcebiso, ukungacacanga akuncedi, kucace kakhulu. Ukuba ujonga imizekelo yolindelo oluphezulu kubudlelwane obuba ngumthombo wengxabano - elinye iqabane lihlala lifuna ixesha kunye nengqalelo, lishiya elinye imvakalelo ekhutshiweyo - uya kuqaphela ukuba oku kwenzeka ngenxa ukungabikho kolwazi. Xa uxhaswa ngokuqiqa okucacileyo, ukubeka okulindelweyo kubudlelwane kuba lula.

3. Yenzani kunye

Okulindelekileyo kumacala omabini, kwaye kubalulekile ukuba nobabini kunye neqabane lakho nizive nisivile kwaye niqondwa. Ukusebenza ukubeka ulindelo kunye yindlela enkulu yokuphumeza oko. Thethani ngento eyamkelekileyo nengamkelekanga, nokuba ninobabini kangakanani na ukulungele ukulalanisa, apho ubona ubudlelwane buhamba kwaye nantoni na enye ihambelana nomxholo we-dynamics yakho.

Oku kuya kukuthintela ekukhupheni izinto ezilindelekileyo kwiqabane lakho. Umzekelo, omnye wemizekelo yokulindela okuphezulu kubudlelwane unokuba ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho lipheke yonke imihla emva komsebenzi, kwaye ubeke nje loo mfuno kubo ngaphandle kwengxoxo. Ngokwemvelo, kunokwenza iqabane lakho lizive ngathi liyaxhatshazwa. Kodwa ukuba uyawahlula loo msebenzi, mhlawumbi uyanqunqa aze yena apheke kuba uziva ukuba ungumpheki odelelayo, ngoko nilungisa izinto kunye.

4. Musa ukubila kwizinto ezincinci

Indlela yokunxibelelana okulindelweyo kubudlelwane? Xa ubeka izinto ozilindeleyo kulwalamano, kufuneka ukwazi ukwahlulahlula ingqolowa kumququ. Kungenjalo, uya kuzifumana ubanjwe kuluhlu lwezinto ezilindelweyo ezingafezekanga, wenze ubudlelwane bakho bube yindawo engonwabanga. Ngoko ke, cinga ixesha elide kwaye kunzima malunga nokuba yintoni engaxoxiswanga kuwe kwaye yintoni engekho xa ukhupha uluhlu lwezinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane.

Njengokuba, ukungathembeki ukungamkeleki kusengqiqweni kuba kunokuba nemiphumo yokwenyani kwikamva lenu kunye. Nangona kunjalo, ukulindela ukuba babonakale kwindawo osebenza kuyo rhoqo ngooLwezihlanu ngokuhlwa neentyatyambo esandleni lulindelo olungenamsebenzi onokuthi uluyeke. Mhlawumbi eso asiyondlela yabo yokubonakalisa uthando kwaye bayayilungisa ngeendlela ezininzi.

ULeena, ongumfundi onesidanga sokuqala, uthi: “Ukususela oko ndafudukela kwisixeko esitsha ukuze ndifumane isidanga senkosi yam, mna nomfana endandithandana naye sizama kangangoko sinako ukwenza olu lwalamano lukude luphumelele. Uceba ukuthetha neqabane lakhe ngayo xa bedibana ngokulandelayo, kwaye baqale inkqubo yokuchaza okulindelweyo kubudlelwane.

5. Gcina ingqondo evulekile

"Xa uxoxa ngemigangatho kunye nokulindela kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukugcina ingqondo evulekile. Wena kunye neqabane lakho ningabantu ababini abahlukeneyo abanobuntu obahlukileyo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nolindelo olwahlukileyo," utsho uJui. Ulindelo olungahambelaniyo kubudlelwane lunokuba yiresiphi yentlekele, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuba ukulungele ukufikelela kwindawo efanayo nanini na uvakalelwa kukuba iimbono zakho kunye neqabane lakho malunga nomcimbi zichasene kakhulu.

Umzekelo, izinto ezilindelwe ngamakhwenkwe kubudlelwane zinokwahluka kakhulu kwezamantombazana, kwaye oku kunokukhokelela kwiingxabano neengxabano. Enye indlela yokuphepha oku kukwamkela ukuba kungokwemvelo ukuba izimvo zakho aziyi kudibana ngalo lonke ixesha. Usenokuba neembono eziphikisanayo kwimiba ethile kwaye kulungile. Gcina ingqondo evulekileyo kwaye umamele ukuqonda imbono yabo kwaye ungaphikisani nayo. Emva koko, sebenzani kunye ukufumana indawo ephakathi eyamkelekileyo kuni nobabini.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Umlo wokuQala kuBudlelwane-Yintoni onokuyilindela

12 Ulindelo Olusengqiqweni Kubudlelwane

Ngoku uyayiqonda indlela yokuseta kunye nokunxibelelana okulindelweyo kubudlelwane, siza kumba olandelayo obalulekileyo wokuseta okulindelekileyo - ukuyigcina iyinyani. Ngoko ke, ziziphi izinto ezilindelekileyo eziqhelekileyo kubudlelwane? Uvavanya njani ukuba into oyilindeleyo komnye ebalulekileyo iwela kwindawo yolindelo oluyinyani? Enye indlela elula yokuphepha ukulindela okuphezulu ngokungekho ngqiqweni kubudlelwane kukunqumama kwaye ucinge, "Ndiza kwenza ntoni etafileni?"

Ngelixa ukungabi nalulindelo kubudlelwane akukho ngqiqweni, ukuseta umgca ophezulu kakhulu kunokuba yinto engapheliyo. Qikelela ukuba kufuneka ulungelelanise yonke into. UJui ucebisa ngelithi: “Usenokuba uye walamkela iqabane lakho ngengqondo ephangaleleyo njengoko oko kuya kukhokelela kulwalamano oluphilileyo, kodwa kulungile ukuthi hayi ukuba kukho into engenakwenzeka kuwe.” Kungcono unikele amathemba abubuxoki ngokuthi, “Ewe, ndiya kuzama” xa uqinisekile ukuba akuyi kuba nako,” ucebisa oko uJui.

Ngaba izinto ezilindelweyo ziyalonakalisa ubudlelwane? Ukuba lo mbuzo ubunzima engqondweni yakho, usenokuba uthwele ubunzima bolindelo olungafezekiyo kunye nentlawulo abanokuyithatha kubudlelwane. Ngaphandle, ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho libambelele kwimigangatho ethile okanye ukudlala ngemithetho ethile akufuneki kube yintlekele.

Ekuphela kwemfuneko yokuba oko kwenzeke kukugcina ulindelo lwakho lusengqiqweni. Umzekelo, ukufuna iqabane lakho ukuba libukeke njengoGeorge Clooney, ufumane umvuzo we-6-figure, ube ne-bod ye-pack-pack ezintandathu kunye ne-razor-Sharp wit yinto engenakwenzeka. Kodwa ukufuna ukuphathwa ngobubele nangentlonelo kusengqiqweni ngokupheleleyo. Ufumana ukukhukuliseka. Ukwenza izinto zicace ngakumbi, nantsi uluhlu lwezinto ezili-12 ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane ekufuneka usebenzele ukubuhlakulela:

1. Ukugalelwa ngothando

Ukubudlelwane bothando kwaye akukho ngqiqweni ukulindela umboniso wothando kwiqabane lakho. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba i-SO yakho iyamthanda kwaye iyamxabisa umntu onguye, kwaye iyivakalisa ngeendlela onokumqonda ngokucacileyo. Le yenye yezona zinto zilindelweyo zisisiseko kwiqabane, kwaye nabani na okuxelela ngenye indlela uzama ukukukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo ukuba uhlawulele umzamo onesiqingatha abanokuthi bawubeke kubudlelwane.

Ngamanye amazwi, ukuqonda kunye nokwamkelwa komnye nomnye thanda iilwimi uphakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo kulwalamano. Ukuwolana, ukwangiwa, ukubambana ngezandla kunye nokubambana zonke ziimbonakaliso zothando ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, ukugqiba indlela iqabane lakho elibonisa ngayo uthando kuwe kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezilindelekileyo.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Baya kuba nothando, inkathalo kunye nomsa.

Into ongayilindelanga: Babeza kuzibandakanya kwi PDA, babeza kuthi "Ndiyakuthanda rhoqo" okanye baya kukuxelela into oyithethayo kubo izihlandlo eziliwaka. Abanye abantu ababonakalisi ngolo hlobo kodwa banenkathalo ngendlela yabo.

2. Ukunyaniseka kuphakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo kulwalamano

Ukunyaniseka kulindelo olungaxoxisiyo lokuba nobudlelwane. Nokuba zithini na iimeko, kuya kufuneka ulindele ukunyaniseka okupheleleyo kunye nokugqibeleleyo kwiqabane lakho kwaye ulinike imbuyekezo. Awunakwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, obunempilo ngaphandle kwayo. Apho kukho ukukhohlisa, ubuxoki kunye namathambo kwi-closet, ubudlelwane buncitshiswe kwiwebhu eyinkimbinkimbi yobuxoki ephuka ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva. Ngoko xa ubeka izinto ozilindeleyo kulwalamano, thetha ngoko kuthetha ukuthini ukunyaniseka kumntu ngamnye kuni kwaye nikuhloniphe.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Ubuya kukwazi malunga nobudlelwane babo bangaphambili, uyazi ukuba ngoobani abahlobo babo kwaye basondele kangakanani, ubudlelwane babo nabazali babo okanye imbali yangaphambili yokuxhatshazwa. Baza kukugcina uthumele malunga nobomi babo bemihla ngemihla.

Into ongayilindelanga: Babeza kukuxelela zonke iinkcukacha ezintsonkothileyo malunga nobudlelwane babo ex zabo, ingxoxo abanayo neqela lemigulukudu guy okanye intombazana igenge okanye ukufikelela SM okanye email passwords zabo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Exclusive Dating: Akuqinisekanga malunga nobudlelwane ozinikeleyo

3. Ukuthembana

Apho kukho ukunyaniseka, ukuthembana kuya kulandela. Ngokubhekiselele kwimigangatho kunye nokulindelweyo kubudlelwane, ukuthembela yinto ekufuneka ubenayo. Nokuba ngaba abafana abalindelekileyo kubudlelwane okanye amantombazana, ukuthembela kuya kuhlala kuluhlu kuluhlu ukuba ukubudlelwane ozinikeleyo. Ngaphandle kokuthembana, awukwazi ukucinga ngobudlelwane obuzinzileyo kunye neqabane lothando.

Kufuneka ukwazi ukuthemba iqabane lakho ngokupheleleyo, kwaye indima yabo ekwenzeni uzive ukhuselekile, ukhuselekile kwaye uxatyisiwe uhamba indlela ende ekuhlangabezaneni nolo lindelo. Kwi-flip side, ukulindela ukuba iqabane likuthembe kungokwemvelo kwaye kunengqiqo. Ngelixa kufuneka wenze indima yakho ukuze ubonwe njengothembekileyo, iqabane lakho kufuneka likhuphe ukukrokrela, ukungakhuseleki kunye nomona ukuze uhlakulele ukuthembana.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Niya kusebenzela ukwakha ukuthembana kulwalamano. Awuyi kukhuseleka ngokungeyomfuneko okanye ukrokre.

Into ongayilindelanga: Uya kukhenketho lomsebenzi kunye nomntu osebenza naye wesini esahlukileyo kwaye uxelele iqabane lakho ukuba ubuhlala kwigumbi elinye. Baza kulunga ngayo kuba bayakuthemba. Oku kuphakathi kwemizekelo yolindelo oluphezulu kubudlelwane obudinga ukuba ulubeke kwithala ukuze ukwazi ukukhulisa ukuthembana.

4. Uvelwano omnye komnye

Xa ubeka okulindelweyo kubudlelwane obutsha okanye ukuchaza okulindelweyo kubudlelwane obuqhubekayo, imfesane inokungahoywa ngokulula. Nangona kunjalo, yenye yezona mfuno zibalulekileyo kulo naluphi na unxibelelwano olusondeleyo kwaye kufuneka ibonakale kulo lonke uluhlu lwezinto ezilindelweyo kubudlelwane. Xa umntu omnye ebuhlungu okanye ehamba kwinqanaba elibi, omnye uthatha indima ye-panacea yabo.

Yiyo loo nto imfesane kubudlelwane. Unelungelo lokulindela ukuba iqabane lakho libe yindawo ekhuselekileyo onokubhenela kuyo xa ufuna intuthuzelo. Oku kufuna ukusekwa ngokucacileyo xa uthetha okulindelekileyo kubudlelwane. Kulungile ukuba abanakukuqonda ngokupheleleyo okanye ukunxulumana nento ozivayo okanye ojongene nayo. Into yokuba iyabakhathaza kwaye benza iinzame zokukwenza uzive ngcono yeyona nto ibalulekileyo.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Bangakuvuyisa xa uphantsi, bakwenzele ikomityi yekofu eshushu ukuba unosuku olubi.

Into ongayilindelanga: Apha kwakhona, ulindele iqabane ukuba lifunde ingqondo yakho malunga nemeko enzima kwaye lize kukuhlangula okanye uzive kanye oko uzivayo akunanyani kwaye akukho sikweni.

5. Ukuphathwa ngentlonipho

Zeziphi izinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane? Ukuba bekufuneka siphendule igama elinye kulo mbuzo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo bekuya kuba yintlonipho. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukhe uzifumane usenza ubudlelwane obulindelekileyo vs jonga yokwenyani, qiniseka ukuba intlonipho ihlala iwela kudidi olulindelekileyo olufanelekileyo. Ubudlelwane apho uphathwa njengemathi yokucango okanye uziva ungabonakali, umncinci kwaye uthotyiwe ayifanelanga ixesha namandla akho.

Intlonipho omnye komnye luphawu a ubudlelwane obuphilileyo. Iguqulela ekukwazini ukuxabisa imbono yomnye umntu, nangona ungavumelani nayo. Xa kukho ukuhloniphana, amaqabane afumana indlela yokusingatha iiyantlukwano ezintsonkothileyo kunye neengxabano ngovelwano, ngaphandle kokwenza omnye azive emncinci. Ngalo lonke ixesha khumbula intlonipho yindlela emacala amabini.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Baya kuzihlonela iimvakalelo nezigqibo zakho baze bakubandakanye kwezabo.

Into ongayilindelanga: Uphoselana nomsindo uxabene ngokungeyomfuneko kwaye bebeya kuyamkela bajongane nayo kuba bayakuhlonipha.

6. Ukubekwa phambili

Njengeqabane lothando, kwamkelekile ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho likubeke ngaphezu kwayo yonke enye into ebomini babo. Ngelixa kuyinyani, oku kulindelekileyo kukwanemiqathango. Kusenokubakho iimeko apho uxinzelelo lomsebenzi okanye izibophelelo zezentlalo zithatha ixesha elininzi namandla kangangokuba zithathe ingqalelo kubudlelwane bomntu kunye neqabane.

Musa ukuvumela ukuphambuka okunjalo kube negalelo kuluhlu lwakho lwezinto ongazilindelanga. Iziphazamiso zexeshana azithethi ukuba ukubaluleka kwakho ebomini babo kuyehla. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba wena neqabane lakho nifumane indlela yokubuyela omnye komnye. Xa elinye iqabane lisilela ngokungaguquguqukiyo ukubeka phambili elinye, kunokunciphisa ngokukhawuleza ukuguquguquka kwabo kubudlelwane obulindelekileyo obungahambelaniyo. Eso ingaba sisiqalo sohambo lokuhla.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Ukuba bafuna ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe, ukunxibelelana nawe kwaye wenze izicwangciso kunye nawe kulindelwe okufanelekileyo kubudlelwane.

Into ongayilindelanga: Bebengayi kuba nobomi ngaphaya kwakho akulunganga kwaye akukho ngqiqweni.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 8 Umahluko phakathi kokuthandana kunye nokuba kubudlelwane

7. Ukuba nolwazelelelo

Oku kunokukwenza ukuba ufune ukujonga kwakhona uluhlu lwakho "olukulindeleyo kwiqabane lam lobomi" kuba ukuba nolwazelelelo alukho ukhetho olucacileyo xa ucinga ngokulindelekileyo kobudlelwane. Ngelixa uphantsi, olu phawu lunokuphucula uhlobo lobudlelwane bakho ngokumangalisayo. Nasi isizathu: Ulwalamano kuxa elinye iqabane linika elinye yonke into eliyifunayo, nokuba libeka engozini impilo-ntle yabo, akulunganga. Enyanisweni, leyo yeyona nkcazelo ka-a ubudlelwane obungasebenziyo.

Wena kunye neqabane lakho anizukuvumelana kwaye nibe neeyantlukwano zenu. Xa oko kusenzeka, kufuneka ulindele ukuba nolwazelelelo ngendlela isenzo esithile esinokumchaphazela ngayo omnye umntu. Factoring kwimbono yomnye umntu kunye nokusabela okulindelekileyo izenzo zakho kunye nezigqibo yintoni iqabane ubudlelwane kufuneka alindele kwelinye.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Baya kuzama ukuqonda imbono yakho baze bancokole ngendlela esengqiqweni.

Into ongayilindelanga: Baya kubonisa ulwazelelelo lwabo xa wenze isono esinzulu okanye ungqwabalala ngokungeyomfuneko.

8. Ukuchitha ixesha kunye

Ukumanyana sisiseko sezidingo, iimfuno kunye nokulindelweyo kubudlelwane. Aninako ukukhula kunye njengesibini ngaphandle kokwabelana ngezinye ixesha elibalulekile kunye. Ngoko ke, oku ngokungathandabuzekiyo yenye yezinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane. Kakade ke, oku akuthethi ukuchitha lonke ixesha lokuvuka kunye okanye ukwenza yonke into kunye.

Kodwa ukuba omnye umntu akanalo ixesha lakho okanye i-headspace yakho kwaye bakwenza uzive ngathi akulindelekanga kubudlelwane, kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba uyangena ebomini babo kwaphela. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuzazi izinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane bakho, ukuze kungabikho mntu unokukuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo egameni lothando aze aphelise inkxalabo yakho yokwenyani ngokuthi “ufuna kakhulu”.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Baya kwenza izicwangciso kunye nawe ukuba nihlale kunye ekhaya okanye ngaphandle okanye izicwangciso malunga neeholide.

Into ongayilindelanga: Abanakuze benze izicwangciso ngaphandle kwakho.

9. Intsebenziswano yabalinganayo

Yintoni iqabane lobudlelwane ekufuneka lilindele kwelinye? Kulungile, ukulingana yinto elindelekileyo esisiseko ekufuneka ibonelelwe ngokungagqibekanga. Ngelishwa, akusoloko kunjalo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngubani ofumana ngaphezulu, ngubani onandipha isikhundla esinamandla kuluntu, umsebenzi wakhe ubaluleke ngakumbi, ubudlelwane bothando kufuneka buhlale bubambisene abalinganayo.

Akwamkelekanga ukuba iqabane lisebenzise amandla, isikhundla okanye imali yalo njengento yokulawula okanye ukujija amandla dynamics kubudlelwane ekuthandeni kwabo kwaye balindele ukuba omnye athabathe ukuyekelela. Inkwenkwe yakho inolindelo olungekho ngqiqweni ukuba ilindele ukuba uthabathe emva kwayo kuba isoloko idinwe kakhulu ukuba ingazenzela ngokwakhe imisebenzi esisiseko.

Intombi yakho inolindelo olungekho mpilweni ukuba icinga ukuba kulungile ukuba iphose umsindo kwindawo kawonke-wonke kwaye ifuna ukuba umollycoddle yona. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kufuneka ufunde ukubeka unyawo lwakho phantsi kwaye ufune ukulingana - ungalindeli nje.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Uyakulingana xa usabelana ngeendleko, imisebenzi yasekhaya kunye nemisebenzi yabantwana.

Into ongayilindelanga: Iqabane lakho liyakuyeka ukunyuselwa kuba oko kukwenza ube ngaphezu kwabo-nobulumko bomsebenzi.

10. Ukunika i-100% yakho

Zeziphi izinto eziqhelekileyo ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane? Enye impendulo elula kulo mbuzo obonakala unzima kukuba iqabane lakho lityalwe kubudlelwane njengawe. Ubudlelwane bufuna uthando, ukongiwa kunye nomzamo kuwo omabini amaqabane. Ayikho enye indlela enokuphila ngayo kwixesha elide. Umntu obonisa a uloyiko lokuzibophelela okanye uphuhlisa iinyawo ezibandayo xa kuziwa ekuthatheni amanyathelo alandelayo kubudlelwane akakwazi ukwenza iqabane elithembekileyo.

Ke, ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho linike i-100% yalo - malunga nokuzinikela, uthando kunye nesigqibo sokuhlala kunye - kufanelekile. Nokuba yeyiphi na inkcubeko yepop okanye laa mfo ukwi-app yokuthandana enokuthi ukuxelela, ebuza ukuba "iya phi le?" okanye “siyintoni?” ayiyomizekelo yolindelo oluphezulu kubudlelwane.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Iqabane lakho liya kwenza iinzame zokugcina ubudlelwane busempilweni.

Into ongayilindelanga: Ingcamango yakho yomgudu iya kuba yi-100% efanayo neyabo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezili-13 nguwe ozingcayo kubudlelwane bakho

11. Indawo lulindelo olusempilweni

Kunikwe ukuba abantu ababini abakubudlelwane bayakonwabela ukuba kunye. Nangona kunjalo, olu manyano akufunekanga luze ngeendleko zokuzimela kunye nobuntu bomntu omnye okanye omabini. Xa oko kusenzeka, usengozini yokungena kwindawo engwevu yobudlelwane obuxhomekeke kuyo. Ke, ungalibazisi ukuvakalisa izinto ozilindeleyo malunga nawe indawo kubudlelwane.

Yiloo nto kanye efunekayo ukuze ukhule kwaye uphumelele njengabantu ngabanye nanjengesibini. Ukufuna ukuthatha ikhefu ukuvuthela umphunga kunye nabahlobo bakho okanye ukuthatha ixesha uwedwa ukuze uzihlaziye ekupheleni kosuku olude kunye nokukhupha amanzi kuphakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo zendalo kubudlelwane. Kubudlelwane obunempilo, obuzinzileyo, omabini amaqabane kufuneka akulungele ukunikana le ndawo yobuqu.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Bangakukhuthaza ukuba uphume nabahlobo bakho kwaye ubuya kubanceda bakhe ithala labo leencwadi.

Into ongayilindelanga: Ubuya kuqumba iveki emva kokulwa kwaye bahlala kude ukuze bakunike indawo yakho.

12. Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bubala phakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane

Ukusondelelana akuthethi nje intshukumo eshushu kwaye sizzling phakathi kwamashiti. Ukuze uhlakulele ulwalamano olunzulu nolunentsingiselo nomnye umntu, kufuneka umazi njengomva wesandla sakho. Kukho ezahlukeneyo iintlobo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo ukulangazelela – ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni, ngokomoya, ngokwasenyameni, ukukhankanya ezimbalwa.

Kusempilweni ukulindela kwaye usebenzele ekuphuhliseni inqanaba lobudlelwane obusondeleyo apho wena neqabane lakho nikhululekile ukuba sesichengeni omnye nomnye. Ngethemba lokuba omnye obalulekileyo unokukuvulela ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye akuvumele ungene entliziyweni nasebomini bakhe ngokupheleleyo kuphakathi kwezinto ezilindelekileyo zendalo kwiqabane. Ngoko ke musa ukuvumela nabani na ukuba ube netyala ukuba uyeke lo mnqweno wendalo wokwandisa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kubudlelwane ngokusebenzisa amagama afana nokubambelela okanye osweleyo.

Yintoni onokuyilindela: Omabini amaqabane aqala kwaye ayonwabele isondo.

Into ongayilindelanga: Ukusondelana kuya kuba nzima njengoko kwakunjalo kwiintsuku zakho zokuqala kunye.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Uluhlu lweeNgcali ezili-10 zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane

Indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba uBudlelwane bakho obulindelweyo bufezekiswa

Xa uhlalutya ubudlelwane obulindelweyo vs ubunyani, unokuqonda ukuba ayizizo zonke izinto ozilindeleyo kwiqabane okanye ubudlelwane buya kwenzeka. Nangona kunjalo, oko akuthethi ukuba ukubudlelwane obulindelekileyo obungafaniyo. Ukusebenzela ukuzuza umgangatho wegolide wolindelo oluyinyani kubudlelwane kunceda ukukhulisa umanyano olomeleleyo. Kwaye uyenza njani loo nto?

Uqinisekisa njani ukuba ulwalamano lwakho olulindelweyo luhlangatyezwa rhoqo kunokungabikho? Nanga amanyathelo ambalwa onokuthi uwathathe ukuze uqinisekise ukuba aninxibelelani nje ngokulindelekileyo kubudlelwane ngokucacileyo kodwa niyakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezinto ezilindelekileyo zomnye nomnye kangangoko kunokwenzeka:

1. Chonga eyakho

Njengayo nayiphi na into ebomini, inkqubo yokwenza utshintsho iqala kuwe. Ukubeka izinto ezilindelweyo kubudlelwane kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba zihlangatyezwane nazo azifani. Nokuba uqalisa uhambo lokuchaza okulindelweyo kubudlelwane obutsha okanye udiniwe kukuphoxwa kukungakwazi kweqabane lakho ukujongana neemfuno zakho, thatha isitokhwe sento oyifunayo kwaye uyilindele kubudlelwane bakho.

UJui uthi, “Kwabiwe amaxabiso angundoqo kubudlelwane ibalulekile kwimpumelelo yayo. Kuphela kuxa wena neqabane lakho ninombono okwabelwana ngawo ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kulwalamano lwenu apho ninokuthi niqiniseke ukuba anisayi kuphoxana kuwo onke amanqanaba endlela.” Unokuvavanya ukuba umi phi kumbandela wemilinganiselo ekwabelwana ngayo kuphela xa uyazi into oyifunayo kubudlelwane bakho kunye neqabane lakho.

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2. Zibekele imida

Ukubaluleka kokumisela imida enempilo kubudlelwane kwangethuba ayinakubaxa. Ukumiselwa kwemida kudlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuqinisekiseni ukuba iimfuno zamaqabane omabini ziyahlonitshwa kwaye ziyahlangatyezwa. Ukuba ufuna ukunqanda ubudlelwane obulindelekileyo obungahambelaniyo, qiniseka ukuba uchaza imida yakho kunye nokulindela kwakho omnye komnye.

Enyanisweni, ukuba ujonga ngokusondeleyo, izicwangciso zomda kunye nokulindela zidibene ngokusondeleyo, kwaye enye ayinakho ukubakho ngaphandle komnye. Umzekelo, ukuba uthi, "Andizukukunyamezela ukungahloneli kubudlelwane", uphinda uthi, "Ndilindele ukuba iqabane lam lindihloniphe". Ngokunjalo, ukuba uthi, “Enye yezinto endizilindeleyo kwiqabane lam lobomi kukunyaniseka”, ukwathetha ukuba ukrwela umgca wokunyamezela iqabane elinganyanisekanga.

Ngoko ke, yenza umzamo wokuchaza imida yobudlelwane kwaye uyiphakamise kungakhathaliseki iimeko, ukuba ufuna ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo kubudlelwane zihlonitshwe kwaye zixhaswe. Ngomzuzu uvumela iqabane ukuba lingayihloneli imida yakho, unika imvume yokuhamba phezu kwakho. Baqinisekile ukuba abayi kukhathalela kakhulu malunga nolindelo lwakho kwiqabane xa lo mgca wophulwe.

3. Thetha inyani

Ukufunda ukunxibelelana okulindelweyo kubudlelwane ngendlela eyiyo akubalulekanga kuphela ekumiseleni nasekulawuleni okulindelweyo kodwa nasekuqinisekiseni ukuba ziyagcinwa kwaye zihlangatyezwane nazo rhoqo. Ukuba uzifumana uyazibuza, "Ulindelo lwam kwiqabane lam lobomi aluzange lufezekiswe, ndingenza ntoni ukuze ndibathathele ingqalelo iimfuno zam", mhlawumbi impendulo ilele ukuphucula unxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho.

Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho likuphoxile ngandlel’ ithile, kufuneka ubaxelele indlela izenzo zabo ezikwenze waziva ngayo ngendlela ecacileyo, ecacileyo nesempilweni. Endaweni yokuthembela kubuchule boburhalarhume obufana nokubanika unyango oluthe cwaka, zama indlela ethe ngqo efana nokubaxelela, "Bendilindele ukuba undenzele i-XYZ kwaye xa ungayenzanga, ndaziva ndiphoxekile."

Ethetha ngokubaluleka konxibelelwano ekuqinisekiseni ukuba izinto ezilindelweyo kubudlelwane zidibana rhoqo, uJui uthi, “Xa iqabane lakho lingaphili ngokwezinto ozilindeleyo, kuya kukushiya uzive ukhathazekile kwaye udanile. Ngoko ke, okokuqala, thatha ixesha lokujonga iimvakalelo zakho. Xa ulungele ukunxibelelana, yenza oko ngokuqinileyo nangembeko.

4. Musa ukuvumela abanye bakuphembelele

Amaxesha amaninzi ulindelo olungahambelaniyo luba sisiphumo sokuba omabini amaqabane ajonge izinto azilindeleyo omnye komnye ukusuka kwilensi yendlela umntu wesithathu acinga ukuba kufanele ukuba yiyo. Masithi iqabane lakho lalile ukuya nawe kwikonsathi kuba akalonwabeli olo hlobo lomculo kwaye nawe ulungile ngalo. Kodwa xa ufika wedwa ekonsathini, umhlobo wakho uthi, “Ukuba bebekuthanda, ngebenze umgudu wokuhamba nawe.”

Ngokukhawuleza, uziva uhlaba kwaye ushiywe ucinga ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo kwiqabane azifezeki. Kodwa ngaba le nto ubuyilindele ngokwenene okanye kukho umntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane oye wakuxelele ukuba le yinto ekufuneka ubeyiyo? Xa uvumela izinto zangaphandle zilawule indlela oqhuba ngayo ubudlelwane bakho, kubakho isiphithiphithi. Ke, qiniseka ukuba useto kunye ukulawula okulindelweyo kubudlelwane yinkqubo ebandakanya wena kunye ne-SO yakho, akukho mntu wumbi.

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5. Yamkele into yokuba ayizukufezeka

Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo kubudlelwane zihlangatyezwane ngalo lonke ixesha! Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba umntu ebekunika ibhiliyoni yeedola kunye nesiqithi sabucala ukuze ungaze usebenze ngenye imini ebomini bakho. Kanye njengokuba usazi ukuba okokugqibela akunakwenzeka ngokwenyani, yamkele into yokuba akukho mntu ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho lifezekise izinto ozilindeleyo ngaphandle kokusilela.

Ubudlelwane babantu buntsonkothile kwaye bumoshakele, njengabantu ababenzayo, ngoko ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina izinto ozilindeleyo zijongana nezinto ozilindeleyo kubudlelwane obuyinyani. Yamkela inyaniso yokuba kuya kubakho iimeko xa iqabane lakho liya kukuphoxa, kwaye nawe. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, nikela ingqalelo kubuchule ngqu zulwano kwaye uzimisele ukwenza ngcono kwixesha elizayo. Musa ukwenza ukuzaliseka kokulindela kwakho kwiqabane into efunekayo kubudlelwane obuyimpumelelo, ubuncinci hayi lonke ixesha.

Ukuseta okulindelweyo okufanelekileyo kunye nolawulo kunokuba ngundoqo kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, obunelisayo apho omabini amaqabane ephumelela. Ke, yibeke phambili kuqhagamshelo lwakho ukusuka ekuqaleni. Musa ukulinda ukuba ubudlelwane bakho butyhafe phantsi kobunzima bokungafezeki okanye ukulindela okungahambelaniyo ukulungisa ikhosi. Yiba nencoko yokwenyani kunye neqabane lakho malunga nayo kwizigaba zokuqala zobudlelwane ukwenza kube lula ukuhamba.

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