Uluhlu lweeNgcali ezili-10 zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane

Kukho imiqondiso emininzi yokusondelana kubudlelwane obunokuthi umntu angabuhoyi ngaphandle kokwazi okanye ukuqonda umphumo onzulu onokuba nawo kubudlelwane. Ubudlelwane benziwa ngezinto ezintathu, eyokuqala ibe ngumtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni – indlela omnye umntu abona ngayo omnye ngokwembonakalo. Okwesibini yikhemistri kunye nokuhambelana, okuxhomekeke kwindlela umntu omnye ahambelana ngayo nomnye. Okwesithathu kubudlelwane obusondeleyo - indlela umntu abonisa ngayo ukusondelana kubudlelwane.

Ndathi xa ndisondela Shivanya Yogamaya, osisazi ngeenkwenkwezi kunye nomqeqeshi wobudlelwane kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, uthe, "Ngokuphangaleleyo, xa sithetha ngobudlelwane obusondeleyo, abantu batsibela kwisigqibo kwaye bacinge ukuba imalunga nesondo kuphela kunye nendlela abantu ababini abazonwabisa ngayo ngesondo kubudlelwane. Kodwa oko akunakuba kude nenyani. Ukusondelana kuthetha isenzo sokuba sesichengeni malunga nomntu omthandayo. kwaye akukho nkohliso.

"Ukuba ubuza ukuba yintoni edala ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kubudlelwane, impendulo kukuthembana. Olunye uphawu olukhulu lokuthandana kubudlelwane kukukwazi ukuthembela kunye nokuthenjwa ngumntu obalulekileyo ngaphandle kokugwetywa kwaye ngaphandle kokugweba. Kulapho ubuhlobo bokwenene bulele khona. Kwisenzo sokuthemba umntu ngentliziyo yonke."

Ukungaxhathisi kwiqabane lakho kuko okunidibanise nobabini. Kodwa udinga okungaphezulu komtsalane womzimba ukugcina ubudlelwane buqhubeka, kwaye oko kuthatha umsebenzi omninzi. Akukho budlelwane bulula. Ukwakha ubudlelwane apho abantu ababini bonwabileyo ngumsebenzi onzima nothatha ixesha, kwaye ufuna iintlobo ezininzi zobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Ukuba ujonge iimpawu zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane, qhubeka ufunda kwaye ufumanise.

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Shivanya uthi, “Ulwalamano olusenyongweni lwenza lukhulu ekomelezeni ulwalamano, luvelisa iimpawu ezininzi ezintle njengemfesane, ukwamkelana, uvelwano, inkululeko, ukunyamezelana, nokukwazi ukungagwebi yaye kusinceda siyeke ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni esilubekela amaqabane ethu.”

Xa ebuzwa uShivanya ngendlela ukusondelelana okubuchaphazela ngayo ubuhlobo, uthi, “Zininzi iintlobo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane kwaye zonke zisichaphazela ngeyona ndlela intle. Izisa inzaliseko kunye nenyani-tsheki. Ichitha iinkohliso kwaye ikubeke kwi-roller coaster ride.

“Ukuba niyathandana, noba nimanyene, noba ngabahlobo abasenyongweni, ningagxeki iintsilelo zomnye, niphile, niphile kunokuba nilindele ukuba bahambe ngokwenu. Kukho ngaphezu kolunye uhlobo lobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane. Ukusuka kokwenyama ukuya kweyeemvakalelo ukuya kwezolonwabo nangokomoya, lonke uhlobo lolwalamano luyafuneka ukuqinisa uthando abantu ababini ababelana ngalo.

Ubudlelwane bexesha elide alufuni nje ukuba neentlobano zesini ezilungileyo. Ngelixa isondo yenye yezinto eziphambili ezinceda ekugcineni intlantsi iphila kwaye betha isithukuthezi kubudlelwane, kukho nabanye oothunywashe abafak’ isandla ekuvuseleleni ulwaneliseko nolonwabo kulwalamano. 

1. Ukuthembana nokuhlonelana

Ukuseka ukuthembana kunye nentlonipho omnye komnye kubudlelwane kukhuthaza ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Sisabelana nini nomntu ngezona ngcinga zinzulu nezimnyama zentliziyo yethu? Kuxa sizityand’ igila kubo. Xa sibathemba kangangokuba sifuna ukwabelana nabo ngayo yonke into encinane. Emva kokuba ufunde yonke into iingcebiso zokuphuhlisa ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uziphumeze kubudlelwane bakho, ibhondi owabelana ngayo nomnye wakho ebalulekileyo iya kufikelela kwiindawo eziphakamileyo.

Isenzo esisesichengeni sokwabelana ngeengcinga ezicacileyo neziyinyani xa usemngciphekweni wokugwetyelwa yenye yeempawu zokuqala zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane. Intle kakhulu indlela endaweni yokuba ugwetywe, uqondwa ngumntu omthandayo nomhlonelayo.

UShivanya uthi, “Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuhlangatyezwa xa abantu ababini bevuleleke omnye komnye kwaye bengalibazisi ukuvakalisa iimfuno zabo nezinto abazifunayo.Ukwazi ukubambana indawo yokukhupha nokukhala iintliziyo zabo ngaphandle kokuziva behlaselwe kuko okukudala ukusondelelana kubudlelwane. Ukunqongophala komsa nokusondelelana uya kuzisa isiphelo kubudlelwane bakho.

“Umzekelo, masithi iqabane lakho lizityand’ igila kuwe kwaye labelana nawe lisithi lixhatshazwe ebuntwaneni, endaweni yokuba umgwebe okanye usebenzise oku nxamnye naye, ukhangela iindlela zokumqonda kwaye wenze iinzame zokumphilisa.

“Enye yeendlela onokubonisa ngazo ukusondelelana kulwalamano kukunika inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo ngokuthembana nangokuhlonelana.” Ukuxabisa iimvakalelo neemfuno zomnye yenye yeendlela eninokwakha ngazo imbeko.

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2. Iimfuno zakho zezesondo ziyafezekiswa

UShivanya uthi, "Ukususela ekubambeni izandla ukuya kukwanga kunye neentlobano zesini, yonke into ifika phantsi kobudlelwane bomzimba. Ukwabelana ngesondo akukhona nje ukwenza omnye nomnye. Akukho nje malunga nokuncwina kunye ne-orgasms. Kumalunga nendlela oziva ukhuselekile ngayo kwaye ubenze bazive xa usabelana ngesondo. Kukho ezinye iimeko apho ukubamba komntu kunokukubeka okanye uvakalelwa kukuba akusiyo into efanelekileyo.

“Into edala ukusondelelana kubudlelwane kuxa ukubambana komntu kukwenza uzive ukhuselekile kwaye ukhululekile. Ukukwazi ukuzinikela emntwini ngaphandle kokuziva ubhencekile kwaye ungakhuselekanga yenye yeempawu zokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane. Ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokukhululeka ngokwesondo kubudlelwane kuxa uvakalisa kwaye uhlonipha iminqweno yomnye nomnye.

Ngaphezu kokuphatha isini njengento nje eyanelisayo yokufikelela kuvuthondaba, phatha isini njengobugcisa. Thetha ngeminqweno yakho, ukujika, kunye nokucinywa. Dwelisa iimfuno zakho. Ukuba ufuna ukwenza umfuniselo, ngoko thetha ngayo. Ukuba omnye wakho obalulekileyo ukwangumdlalo wemisebenzi enjalo, ke la mava aya kunceda nina nobabini ukuba bomelele. 

3. Uziva wamkelekile

Kubudlelwane obusenyongweni ngokupheleleyo, uya kuziva wamkelekile ngokwenene liqabane lakho. Zininzi iingcebiso zokwakha ubudlelwane obuhambelanayo. Enye yazo kukwamkelwa. Xa ubamkela ngazo zonke iziphene zabo, iimfihlo, kunye neziva, kunye namandla abo onke kunye nobuthathaka, yiloo nto eyenza ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kubudlelwane. Awuziva ufuna ukuba nomtsalane ukuze ubahende ukuba bakuthande. Xa wamkelwa liqabane lakho, yonke into iya kwenzeka ngokwemvelo. 

UShivanya uthi, “Xa siselubala, oko kwenza ukuba samkelwe kwaye sithembeke. Omnye wakho obalulekileyo uya kuthembela kuwe ngakumbi xa uthe wabamkela ngakumbi, imikhwa yabo kunye nokuziphatha kwabo. Xa ungagwetywa okanye uhlaselwe ngenxa yokuziva ngendlela ethile, yenye yeempawu zokusondelelana kubudlelwane.

“Okokuqala ukuthandana kuxa ukwazi ukwenza iimpazamo kwaye wamkele ezo mpazamo ngaphandle kokoyika ukujongana nezigxeko.Ubomi bunganzima kwaye sibophelelekile ukwenza iimpazamo. indlela yokuxolela nokulibala iimpazamo kubudlelwane. Sonke siyamfuna umntu ongasayi kusigxeka aze asingcikive ubomi bethu bonke. Ukuba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho likwamkele ngentliziyo epheleleyo yaye akukho siphoso, ngoko ke lolunye lweempawu zokusondelelana kulwalamano.”

4. Nithembele omnye komnye

Ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho kubaluleke kakhulu xa nobabini nikubudlelwane bexesha elide. Kukho umgca omncinci phakathi kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Kuqhelekile ukukhangela inkxaso yeqabane lakho ngokwasemoyeni kodwa xa ufuna kwaye ulindele ukuthembela kuye ngokupheleleyo kuyo yonke into encinci, ngoko yodlula zonke iintlobo zenkxaso kwaye iba kukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. 

“Uxhomekeko” libe ligama elisisifaniswa nobuthathaka kunye nokuncamathela. Kodwa asiyonyaniso leyo. Ukuxhomekeka okusempilweni kuye kwaziwa ukomeleza ubudlelwane. Into ekufuneka uyenzile kukufunda indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane obuxhomekeke komnye apho kukho ukuhloniphana nokukhulana. Ukuxhomekeka kufuna ukuba sesichengeni kwaye yintoni edala ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kubudlelwane? Ukuba sesichengeni. Kwaye ibingo! Yiyo loo nto ukuxhomekeka kubalulekile kubo bonke ubudlelwane.

Ukuba uye wandisa i-radars yakho yeemvakalelo kwaye uthembele omnye komnye ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo, ngokomzimba, kunye nemali ukuya kwinqanaba eliphilileyo, ngoko enye yeempawu zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane. 

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5. Nijongana neentlekele nibambene ngezandla

Akukho budlelwane buhamba kakuhle njengomlambo. Bonke ubudlelwane kunye nabathathi-nxaxheba kufuneka bajongane nengxaki enye emva kwenye. UShivanya uthi, “Zininzi imingeni yobudlelwane wonke umntu ekufuneka ajongane nayo. Yiloo nto eyaziwa ngokuba kukusondelelana kwintlekele. Kukubakho omnye komnye ngamaxesha anzima. Xa nobabini nidibana ngamaxesha obunzima, kudala ukusondelelana kubudlelwane.

Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntu omthandayo uye wasweleka, kwaye ume naye ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uboleka igxalaba ekulileni, yindlela enibonisa ngayo ukusondelelana kulwalamano, nima kunye ebunzimeni.

Kukho umzekelo womntu endingathanda ukubalisa. Ibali lethu lokutshona kwemali. Utata wayedume kakhulu kwishishini lesikhumba. Uye wasebenza indlela yakhe enyukayo kula ntsimi kwaye sizonwabele izinto ezilungileyo zempumelelo yakhe kubo bonke ubuntwana bethu. Xa ishishini lakhe lawayo, umama wamxhasa phezu kwazo nje iingxaki zemali esasijongene nazo.

Wayelapho kuye njengelitye waza waqalisa ishishini lakhe elakhuthazwa ngutata ngokupheleleyo; waba yinqaba eyomeleleyo kuye. Xa utata wayengenako ukubonelela, umama wabamba loo nxaxheba kwaye wayichitha yonke imilinganiselo yesini yoluntu kunye iindima zesini zemveli. Unanamhla oku, utata akaphangeli kodwa uncedisa umama kwishishini lakhe lokupheka nangona kukho konke ukukhalaza kuluntu lwethu olusemva.

UShivanya uthi, “Ngamaxesha obunzima, siye sihlangane okanye sihlukane. Xa uthatha isigqibo sokuhamba, oko kuthetha ukuba bekukho ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kuphela; bekungekho olunye uhlobo lokusondelelana olubandakanyekayo. Kodwa xa unceda iqabane lakho likhule, kwaye nithandane ngakumbi ngaloo maxesha okukhula, lolunye lweempawu zokusondelelana kubudlelwane. Ingxaki inceda ekwakheni uthando kunye nenkathalo ngakumbi. ngenxa yobukho babo ebomini bethu.”

6. Nithatha inxaxheba kwizinto ezinomdla omnye komnye

Uthi, “Ukuba uyabuza into omawuyijonge kubudlelwane, emva koko bathathe inxaxheba kwizinto ezinomdla kunye nemisebenzi kwenye yezinto. Yintoni eyenza ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kubudlelwane kuxa iqabane lakho linikezela ukuthatha inxaxheba kwizinto ezinomdla kuwe kwaye uthatha inxaxheba kwizinto ezinomdla kulo.

"Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uthande izinto ezifanayo okanye uvumelane ngento yonke. Into ebalulekileyo yindlela entle novelwano enivumelana ngayo ngokungaboni ngasonye. Izinto ezincinci ezifana nezi zizisa ukusebenzisana okuhle. Kuya kondla ubudlelwane ngaphaya kombono wenu. 

"Ningenza nezinye iintlobo zemisebenzi kunye. Thathani igadi okanye ucoce indlu. Masithi ufunde incwadi kwaye uyithandile. Wabelana ngoluvo lwakho kunye neqabane lakho kwaye wabelane ngezinto ozifundileyo, ezikhokelela kubudlelwane obusondeleyo.

“Njengale ngongoma ikhankanywe ngasentla, zininzi ezinye iindlela zokwakha ubuhlobo obusondeleyo engqondweni ndikubudlelwane. Iimbono zakho akufuneki zihambelane kodwa inyani yokuba uyayihlonipha imbono yabo kwaye ungazami ukunyanzela okanye ukuphembelela uluvo lwakho kubo yeyona nto idala ukusondelelana kubudlelwane.

“Olunye lweempawu zokusondelelana kuxa ungazami ukubonisa ukuba unyanisile yaye omnye akachananga. Abantu ababini banokuba neemvakalelo, iingcamango, izimvo neembono ezahlukeneyo baze babe benyanisekile ngaxeshanye. Mntu ngamnye unengqondo yakhe. Yaye xa usondelelene ngokwengqondo, uqalisa ukuxabisa nokuhlonela indlela yabo yokucinga.”

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7. Nibeka omnye komnye kuqala

Ukuba awubeki iqabane lakho kuqala, ngoko awusoze wakha uhlobo lobudlelwane obusondeleyo oluya kunceda ukuqinisa uthando kunye nobudlelwane. Eyona nto izisa ulonwabo ngaphezu kokusondelana ngokomzimba kubudlelwane kuxa wenza iqabane lakho libe yinto ephambili, wabelane ngobomi bakho omnye nomnye, kwaye ubabandakanye kwizigqibo zakho. Leyo yenye ye iimpawu zothando olungagungqiyo ndikubudlelwane.

UShivanya uthi, “Indlela obonisa ngayo ukusondelelana kubudlelwane kuxa usenza ixesha leqabane lakho kwaye uchithe ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nalo ngeenzame zokunxibelelana kwinqanaba elinzulu.

“Zenzele ixesha iqabane lakho nihambe kunye kuhambo.Olunye lolona hlobo lunika umdla lobudlelwane obusondeleyo endihlala ndilusebenzisa nezigulane zam kukuba ndicebisa ukuba bahambe kunye.Zininzi izizathu kutheni isibini kufuneka sihambe kunye. Ukuhamba kunye kuvula iifestile ezintsha kubudlelwane. Akukho minxeba yeofisi okanye imisebenzi yasekhitshini okanye iintsimbi zomnyango ezibangela umqobo phakathi kwesibini. Indawo yengqondo ecocekileyo iya kukunceda ucofe iqhosha lokuhlaziya. "

8. Olunye lweempawu zokuthandana kuxa wena neqabane lakho nihloniphana ngeenkolelo zomnye

Uthi, “Ukusondelelana ngokomoya kongeza umgangatho ongakumbi kulo lonke ulwalamano.Sisenzo esichuliweyo sokufunda nokungafundi.Masithi, elinye iqabane liziqonda ngakumbi izinto zokomoya.Banokufundisa omnye into enye okanye ezimbini ngayo eziya kuzisa ubunye bomoya,nto leyo eya kuthi ikhulise ubuhlobo.Ukuhloniphana ukholo kunye neenkolelo yenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu. imizekelo yemida ephilileyo kubudlelwane.

"Yiba namava obuthixo ekwabelwana ngawo kunye. Kuba uxinzelelo lunokonakalisa kwaye lonakalise ubudlelwane ngeendlela ezininzi kwaye ukuhlehla kokomoya kunokukunceda ukuba uvuselele. Kodwa ukuba abanamdla, ungabatyhala okanye ubenzele ukuphelisa ukholo kunye neenkolelo zabo. Uyazi ukuba yenye yeempawu zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane xa uxhasa iqabane lakho ukuba ufunde iindlela zokomoya okanye zenkolo.

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9. Basoloko bengabokuqala ofuna ukuthetha nabo

Esinye sezizathu eziqinisekisayo ukuba ndikhethe ukutshata neqabane lam ngoku sesi. Nantoni na eyenzekayo ebomini bam, ilungile okanye imbi, ungumntu wokuqala endifuna ukufikelela kuye. Intlebendwane okanye unxunguphalo lomsebenzi, ngowokuqala ukuba ndikhuphele kuye. Sinobudlelwane obusondeleyo obuqhekeza zonke izithethe zobudlelwane kunye nemigaqo. 

Ubuhlobo bokuqala kubudlelwane kuxa iqabane lakho liba ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni kwaye zininzi iindlela zokuba ngumhlobo osenyongweni kunye neqabane lakho njengoko inceda ekomelezeni ubudlelwane. Nibeke iifowuni zenu phantsi ukuze nithethe nomnye kwaye nifumanise ukuba luhambe njani usuku lwabo. Enye yeempawu zokusondelelana kubudlelwane kuxa ubanika ingqalelo yakho engahlukaniyo.

10. Kukho ingqondo yeqela

UShivanya uthi, "Enye yeempawu ezingundoqo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane kukuba neqela lengqondo. Ukujongana neengxaki kunye nokunganikezeli omnye komnye. Amanye amaqabane ajonga imisebenzi yasekhaya, kwaye amanye amkela kwaye anakekele amatyala. Lahla iilebhile. Azisekho "ndiyindoda kwaye ungumfazi" uhlobo lwamagama kwakhona njengoko ukulingana ngokwesini emtshatweni kwaye kulo naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane kubaluleke kakhulu.

“Yonke into imalunga nokulingana, ukuncedana ekwenzeni imisebenzi yasekhaya nasekukhuliseni abantwana, asiphili kwixesha apho indoda ifanele ukuba irhole kwaye ibhinqa lifanele ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhitshini. 

“Awulawuleki okanye awulongamele iqabane lakho.Amadoda angacela uncedo lwemali kubafazi babo.Abafazi banelungelo lokulindela ukuba amadoda afake isandla ngokupheleleyo kuxanduva lwekhaya.Kulungile ngokupheleleyo ukophula iindima zesini.

Abantu baya kuthetha izinto ezininzi, kodwa ayingobantu abahlawula amatyala akho okanye abancedisayo ekulawuleni ikhaya, kodwa nguwe kunye neqabane lakho, ngoko ke okwenzekayo phakathi kwenu nobabini kufuneka kubandakanye izigqibo zenu nobabini. Qhagamshelana neqabane lakho kwinqanaba elinzulu kwaye wenze ingqondo yeqela. Nje ukuba ingqondo yeqela yenziwe, uya kuziva ngathi ubudlelwane bakho yeyona ndawo ikhuselekileyo emhlabeni. Kwaye njengoko besitsho, ukusebenzisana kwenza iphupha lisebenze. ”

Ubudlelwane obunempilo buchaphazela ubudlelwane ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo. Uthando luneelwimi ezininzi yaye ukusondelelana yenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo. Amaqabane angangavumelani kwaye abe neengxabano ngamaxesha onke. Kodwa ungaze ubadanise ngokwenza iimpazamo okanye ubajongele phantsi iimpazamo zabo. Bonisa uthando lwakho omnye komnye ngokudala indawo ekhuselekileyo omnye komnye apho kungekho mgwebo kunye nokugxekana. 

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