Ukudlala Ngothando Okusempilweni Vs Ukudlala Ngothando Okungenampilo - Iiyantlukwano ezingundoqo ezisi-8

Ukudlala ngothando kufumene irap embi iminyaka. Kwihlabathi elixakekileyo kwezothando, nokuba ngumdlalo olungileyo, osempilweni udla ngokubonakala ngokuthi “bakukhokelela phambili” okanye “udume kakubi njengomntu odlala ngothando”. Ngokwesithethe, uvuyo lokudlala ngothando aludli ngokunconywa kakhulu.

Kukho imibuzo emininzi malunga nokudlala ngothando. Kukuphi ukudlala ngothando okunempilo nokudlala ngothando ngendlela engafanelekanga? Ngaba kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokuncwasa? Yeyiphi eminye imigca yokuncwasa esempilweni umntu angafanele ayiwele? Kwanele ukwenza ukuba ufune ukuthatha umhlala-phantsi ebhedini ngebhotile yamanzi ashushu apholileyo kwaye ufunge ukuba awusoze uzame ukuncwasa kwakhona!

Ewe, musa ukuthatha umhlala-phantsi okwangoku. Sicinga ukuba ukudlala ngothando bubugcisa kunye nenzululwazi, kodwa ulonwabo lokudlala ngothando lusekwazini ukuba ungaziphatha njani ngendlela esempilweni, neqinisekileyo ngelixa ungaphumi njengokunyebeleza. Ikwangokonwaba nokwenza omnye umntu azive kamnandi ngaye. Sikunika umahluko ongundoqo phakathi kokuncwasa okusempilweni kunye nokuncwasa okungafanelanga kuyakwenza ukuba utsibe umva, okanye uthathe inyathelo lokuqala elilumkileyo, kwiqela lokudlala ngothando.

Yintoni Ukudlala Ngothando Okusempilweni?

Okokuqala kufuneka siqonde ukuba yintoni na ephilileyo ukudlala ngothando. Ngoku ka uphando, ukudlala ngothando kunokuba luncedo kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kodwa wazi njani ukuba kusempilweni kuwo omabini amaqela? Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni kuthetha ukuhlonipha imida kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba awumkhubekisi omnye umntu. Kumele ukuba kube mnandi kwaye kungaqhelekanga. Oku akuthethi ukuba nobabini ninomdla omnye komnye. Kuba ingumsebenzi ozonwabisayo, abantu banokudlala ngothando logama nje kukho imvume kwaye kungekho migca iwelayo.

Yintoni Ukudlala Ngothando Okungafanelekanga?

Phambi kokuba singene kwiiyantlukwano eziphambili phakathi kokudlala ngothando okunempilo kunye nokuncwasa okungekho mpilweni, makhe sicace gca malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukudlala ngothando okungenampilo ngokupheleleyo, oko kukuthi, ukungaxoxiswana ngokupheleleyo kwiLizwe Lokuncwasa.

Ukudlala ngothando okungenampilo kuthetha ukungayihloneli imida kwaye akukhathali ngemvume okanye amanqanaba obutofotofo bomnye umntu. Khumbula, wonke umntu uneendawo zakhe zokuncokola kunye nokusondelelana okubenza bazive belungile, kunye nokudlala ngothando okunempilo nokungenabungozi kufuna ukuba ukuqonde oku kwaye udlale ngothando ngokufanelekileyo. Studies baye babonisa ukuba umntu odlala ngothando unokubasusa ngoko nangoko abantu kwaye udla ngokubonwa njengomntu oqhekeza omnye umntu.

Ngamafutshane, umntu odlala ngothando olungafanelekanga uzicingela ngokupheleleyo ngenxa yokuba ekuphela kwenjongo yakhe ngoxa encwasa kukuqinisekisa ukuba uyonwaba, kwanokuba loo mntu akathandani ngokwenene. Okanye bamane bekrwela ukurhawuzelelwa ngumdlalo ngaphandle kokucinga kakhulu.

Ukuba sikucinezele ngokupheleleyo kwaye sikucaphukise ngayo yonke le ntetho yokuncwasa okungafanelekanga, ungaze woyike. Lixesha lokujonga ezinye zezinto eziyimfuneko kumdlalo wothando onempilo, kwaye yahluke njani ekudinweni, ukukhwankqisa, kunye nokuziphatha okubi. imigca pick-up cringiest loo nto ayisebenzi nakubani na.

8 Umahluko ongundoqo phakathi koKudlala Ngothando okusempilweni kunye nokuThwala okuNgalunganga

Konke kulungile! Masinxibe iminqwazi yethu yokuncwasa. Sijonge kancinane kumdlalo ongafanelekanga, ngoko ke ngethemba, uyazi kancinci malunga nento omawungayenza xa uzama ukuncwasa. Ngoku, makhe siphonononge iingcebiso eziphilileyo zokudlala ngothando kwaye sigxile kumahluko aphambili phakathi kokudlala ngothando okunempilo nokungenampilo:

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1. Ukudlala ngothando okunempilo kunikela ingqalelo, ukudlala ngothando okungenampilo akwenzi

Khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni usethekweni uze ubone umntu onomtsalane ongamaziyo ekujongile. Okanye ukuloliwe ohamba ngaphantsi komhlaba, uyafunda, yaye unokuva omnye umkhweli ekujonga. Xa besondela kuwe, ngaba baya kuthetha amazwi acingisisiweyo anjengathi, “Ngaba yincwadi entle leyo? okanye uhambe nje, “Inzwakazi enjengawe akumelanga ime yodwa?”

Umahluko apha kukuba kwimeko yokuqala, baye baqaphela into oyenzayo, mhlawumbi ukufunda inkangeleko yobuso bakho, waza wazama ukuqalisa incoko phezu nje ukwenza ingxelo malunga inkangeleko yakho kunye nesigwebo malunga abafazi ukuba yedwa.

Inxalenye yovuyo lokudlala ngothando kukunikela ingqalelo kwizinto ezincinane eziphathelele omnye umntu yaye uyazi ukuba, nabo bakuhoye. Nokuba usandula ukudibana, umntu odlala ngothando olusempilweni uya kuqaphela ukuba iglasi yakho ayinanto okanye ukuba kukho indlela kaloliwe engaphantsi komhlaba oqhele ukuya kuyo (ngendlela engeyoya-stalker!) njalo njalo.

Ingqalelo kukutya kothando (ngokuxolisa okuninzi kuShakespeare) kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo yeyona khosi iphambili apho ukudlala ngothando. Umntu odlala ngothando ongafanelekanga, kwelinye icala, uya kubalekela kwi-clichés kwaye azame ngamandla ukufumana ingqalelo yakho, ngaphandle kokunikela ingqalelo kuwe. Ukunikela ingqalelo kubudlelwane yeyona nto ibalulekileyo, kwaye kuyafana nokudlala ngothando.

2. Ukudlala ngothando okunempilo kuyayihlonela imida, ukudlala ngothando okungenampilo kuthatha oko kukufunayo

Sele siyichazile into yokuba ukudlala ngothando ngendlela engafanelekanga kumalunga nomntu odlala ngothando ngaphandle kokucinga okanye ukuxhalaba ngomntu lowo usamkelayo. Noko ke, kwindlela efanelekileyo yokudlala ngothando, imida iyaqondwa, iyanconywa yaye iyahlonelwa.

UPaula uthi: “Ndiyayithanda ingqalelo xa kukho umntu oza kum aze abonakalise umdla. Kodwa, andiyithandi into yokuthetha ngokuphandle ngesini okanye ukubambana emzimbeni ngaphandle kokuba siye sazana ubuncinane kangangeeveki ezimbalwa, ndingathanda ixesha elingakumbi ngaphambi kokuba sifike kwelo nqanaba, ukuba kunjalo.”

UPaula wongezelela ngelithi kuye kwakho abo babedlala ngothando baze bacinge ukuba ukulungele ngakumbi, nangona yena wayengekakulungeli. Babengayiqondi indlela awayekulungele ngayo ukuphendula loo ncoko kodwa babecima ukuba inqumla umgca othile.

Kukho abo badlala ngothando kuba nje befuna ukonwaba, kukwakho nabo bafuna ukuthuthuzeleka nokuqhelana nabo ngaphambi kokuba bathandane, nokuba kuthetha ukusondelelana ngamazwi. Ukudlala ngothando okunempilo kumalunga nokuqonda ukuba sonke sijonge izinto ezahlukeneyo xa sincwasa okanye sisabela kumdlalo odlala ngothando. Njengo imida yobudlelwane obunempilo, ukudlala ngothando nako kufuna imbeko nolwazelelelo.

3. Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni uyazi ukuba akufuni njongo okanye njongo

Ngeliphandle, eyona nto ndiyithandayo malunga nokudlala ngothando kukuba akuyomfuneko ukuba iphele ngokudibanisa i-hook-up ekupheleni kobusuku okanye ikhule ibe luthando olupheleleyo. Inokuthi, kunjalo, kwaye intle kangakanani ukuba ibali lothando elilungileyo liqala ngeakhawunti enkulu yeflirty? Kodwa, ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni kunokuba ngumvuzo wako.

Uvuyo lokudlala ngothando lubakho xa ingcinezelo yokufuna 'uloyiso' okanye ukungqina into ethile iphelile. Mhlawumbi unxibe zonke, wacinezela ilokhwe yakho ebomvu oyithandayo kunye nezithende eziphakamileyo eziyingozi, kwaye waya kwiklabhu yasebusuku. Umntu othandekayo uyasondela, kwaye niye nithethe nithengelane iziselo ezimbalwa. Kukho umtsalane wamagnetic, kwaye incoko inkulu, kodwa ekupheleni kobusuku, ngokuvumelana, akukho nyathelo elilandelayo.

Mhlawumbi utshintshiselana ngeenombolo, mhlawumbi awutshintshi. Akukho nanye kwezi zinto ithetha ukuba ubusuku bakho bube yi-bust. Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni akuzi ne-ajenda. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umdlalo olungileyo wokudlala ngothando ukhokelela kwindawo entle yobusuku obunye kwaye ungaphindi. Nantso iyamangalisa. Yeyona nto imnandi ngokudlala ngothando – uyaphumelela nokuba kukweyiphi na indlela.

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4. Ukudlala ngothando okunempilo kuthathela ingqalelo imvume

UAustin uthi: “Ndiye ndicaphuke xa ndisithi ‘hayi, andinamdla’ baze baqhubeke bebuya. Kufana nokuba bacinga ukuba andiyazi eyam ingqondo okanye ndidlala nzima ukuze ndiyifumane. Iyayothusa yaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayizukwenza uludwe lwam lwemizekelo ephilileyo yokuncwasa.”

KuAustin kunye nabanye abaninzi, ukudlala ngothando okungenabungozi kuxa ungakwenzi kube ngumdlalo wamandla. Umzuzu owalayo ukuthatha imvume njengelitye lembombo lokuziphatha kothando, uwele kwiCreep Zone. Imvume yokuthandana, imvume kubudlelwane, imvume emtshatweni - sonke siyazazi ezi zinto. Imvume iyafuneka kwinyathelo ngalinye lonxibelelwano, elothando okanye ngenye indlela, kutheni ke ukudlala ngothando kufanele kwahluke?

Ukuzingisa kunokuba nomtsalane kwiinoveli zothando zeVictorian, kwaye nezo ziya kukhanya ngakumbi kule mihla. Kodwa ukucinga ukuba ukugcina umdlalo wakho wokudlala ngothando uqhubeka xa umntu engabonakalisi mdla, akukwenzi ube nesondo, kuthetha nje ukuba uyamhlukumeza. Kwaye nokuba ucinga ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zokuncwasa, okanye uyazibuza ukuba yintoni na embi kudlala ngothando, ‘ukuhlukunyezwa’ ayilogama esilinxulumanisa nayo nantoni na ephilileyo.

'Hayi uthetha hayi' ngomnye weyona migca ibalulekileyo yokudlala ngothando ekufuneka uyikhumbule. Yibhale phantsi, bhala inqaku kwifowuni yakho, kwaye wenze umvambo esihlahleni sakho ukuba ucinga ukuba iyafuneka. Wenze intshukumo yakho kwaye abanamdla, lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.

5. Ukudlala ngothando ngendlela efanelekileyo kukwenza uzive wonwabile ngawe

Yintoni embi ukudlala ngothando? Umntu ozama ukukucekisa aze asebenzise ukungakhuseleki kwakho kuwe ukuze uvume kuye. Kuzo zonke iindidi zokudlala ngothando, oku mhlawumbi yeyona nto imbi kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayilwenzi uluhlu lwethu lweengcebiso eziphilileyo zokudlala ngothando.

UMarian uthi: “Masiyithethe inyaniso, sonke siyathanda ukunconywa. “Singabafazi, ngakumbi, sisoloko sixelelwa ukuba kufuneka sinciphe, sibe khaphukhaphu, sibe bahle, njalo njalo. Ukuba kukho umntu ondincwasayo, kodwa uyanditsalela phantsi, nto leyo endenza ndizive ndingenamtsalane ngathi undenzela inceba ngokundinika ingqwalasela – ke, loo nto ayithandeki.”

UMarian ukwabethelela ukuba nangona ukuncoma kumnandi, kufuneka kunyaniseke. "Nokuba sisandula ukudibana, kwaye yonke into oyithethayo kukuba ndimhle ngenene, kuya kuba kuhle ukwazi ukuba unyanisekile kwaye amehlo akho awaboni kwigumbi ujonge uloyiso olulandelayo ukuba ndiyala."

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Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni ngokuqhelekileyo kufuna ukuba ngaphezu komgca nje. Okanye ukuba ngumgca, yenze ibe yinto eyakhayo kwaye inyanisekileyo kunokuba wenze umntu azive kakubi ngaye. Njengomntu odlala ngothando osempilweni, kufuneka ukhuseleke ngokuyinxenye ukuze ukwazi ukusasaza laa mandla amnandi, amnandi odlala ngothando ngeyona ndlela ingcono.

6. Ukudlala ngothando akulindi de ube uwedwa

Abalandeli bakaRyan Gosling, khumbulani loo mboniso kwimovie (engaqhelekanga kakhulu) i-Crazy Stupid Love apho uGosling esondela ku-Emma Stone okokuqala? Uhleli nomhlobo wakhe kodwa uza kuye amxelele ukuba umhle kakhulu.

Ngoku, ayisithi sonke sinenqanaba lokuzithemba likaRyan Gosling okanye i-abs yakhe. Kwakhona, mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba krwada kakhulu ukuza kwaye uphazamise incoko kuba ufumana umntu kwiqela elinomtsalane. Kodwa, egameni lemizekelo ephilileyo yokuncwasa, ndive.

Njengomfazi othanda ukwenza izinto ndedwa, ndiye ndafumana abantu abaninzi beza kum xa ndindedwa, kwaye kucace gca ukuba bayasondela kuba ndindedwa, kwaye ke, into ekujoliswe kuyo ngokulula kwaye isesichengeni. Indlela endisabela ngayo kwiimeko ezinjalo kukuhlala ndiqina kwaye ndibuze iinjongo zabo. Ikwayingcinga engokwemvelo yokuba ibhinqa lilodwa lingatshatanga kunye/okanye lifuna ukuhoywa kwaye ngaloo ndlela liya kuthi ewe kuwe nokuba kwenzeka ntoni na. Ndingaba njalo ngokonwaba single kwaye ndiphuma ndedwa – ngubani ozakuyiqwalasela loo nto?

Kodwa izihlandlo ezimbalwa, ndiye ndaphuma kwiqela, yaye umntu othile uye wabonakalisa umdla ngobubele. Kwaye ndandiyixabisa kakhulu kuba abazange balinde de ndibe ndedwa yaye kufuna isibindi esingakumbi ukusondela emntwini xa engqongwe ngabantu. Kwakhona, kushushu into yokuba umntu acinge ukuba umhle kangangokuba akanakulinda ukukuxelela! Ngoku leyo yindlela odlala ngayo ngempumelelo!

7. Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni uyazi ukuba 'isondo nje' kulungile

Molo, esi sisikhumbuzo sakho sokuba ukudlala ngothando akusayi kuhlala kukhokelela kuthando lwexesha elide okanye uthando oluneenkwenkwezi. Ngamanye amaxesha, iyakuba bubusuku obunye obukhulu okanye uthotho lobusuku obuhle okanye ukuthandana okungaqhelekanga okanye abahlobo abanezibonelelo. Kwaye zonke zisebenza ngokugqibeleleyo, iindlela eziphilileyo zothando kunye nokukhanuka.

UMeg uthi: “Ndandisandul’ ukwahlukana, yaye andizange ndikhangele nantoni na enzulu okanye yexesha elide. Ndandifuna ukuhoywa, ndandifuna umntu ondenza ndizive ndinomtsalane, kwaye ndandifuna ukuchukunyiswa ndibanjwe ngaphandle kokuxhalaba nangayiphi na intambo okanye oko kuya kwenzeka ngentsasa elandelayo okanye banokufowuna okanye bathumele imiyalezo.”

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UMeg wongezelela ngelithi, amadoda ambalwa awadibana nawo ayengakholelwa ukuba akasafuni nto. “Babengazi ukuba bayeke nini na, bengayiboni into yokuba ukudlala ngothando nokuthandana ngendlela engenabungozi kwakundilungela.” Isibini sabo sasibhalelana ngefowuni sindityhola ngokubakhokela, nangona ndandizicacele iinjongo zam.”

Siyaluthanda olonwabelo lonke uhlobo lwebali lothando kodwa sikwathanda ubusuku obuhle bokwabelana ngesondo okumnandi kunye nolonwabo. Ukudlala ngothando okusempilweni kugxininisa koko kulungileyo kuwo onke amaqela achaphazelekayo. Ukuba ujonge uthando lwakho lwanaphakade, kulungile, kodwa khumbula ukuba sonke sikhangela uthando ngokwethu, kwaye kulungile.

8. Ukudlala ngothando akuyeki emva komtshato/ukuzinikela

Ukudlala ngothando kudla ngokubonwa njengento ekhethekileyo kwi-singletons kunye nabo bafuna i-spice encinci ebomini babo. Kodwa ukudlala ngothando okunempilo yindlela emangalisayo yokugcina intlantsi iphila emtshatweni okanye kubudlelwane bexesha elide, ngakumbi ukuba ukwiqabane. ubudlelwane bomgama omde.

Ngoku, sithetha ukudlala ngothando neqabane lakho okanye iqabane, hayi elomnye umntu. Ukuba indoda etshatileyo idlala ngawe, okanye umyeni wakho uncwasa omnye umfazi, oko kukudlala ngothando, elinye ibali kunye nolwalamano lwakho mhlawumbi lufuna uncedo lobungcali. Ukuba oku kunjalo, zive ukhululekile ukufikelela kwi-Bonobology's iqela labacebisi.

Nje ukuba ibali lakho lothando ligqibe iminyaka embalwa, kulula ukulibala izinto ozenzileyo ukubonisa ukuba nithandane kangakanani. Udlala njani ngothando neqabane lakho asiyonto esoloko kuthethwa ngayo kodwa kuyathandeka ukukwazi ukuncwasa umntu osele usazi ukuba ngowakho.

Iitekisi Flirty, ukuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba ibhulukhwe entsha ijongeka enkulu kubo, kwaye ukuncamisa ngaphandle kwesizathu zonke iimpawu ezinkulu ukudlala ngothando. Enyanisweni, akulunganga ukuvumela ulwalamano lwenu lube buthathaka kuba awusenakuphinda uzikhathaze ngokudlala ngothando nje oqhelekileyo!

Imizekeliso emi-5 yokudlala ngothando

Ngoku usazi ukuba yintoni umahluko phakathi kokudlala ngothando okunempilo nokungenampilo, nantsi imizekelo emi-5 yokudlala ngothando okunempilo ukukunceda unyuse umdlalo wakho:

• Ndinemfihlo endifuna ukukuxelela yona, kodwa ndifuna ukukuxelela ngokobuqu
• Awutshatanga. Anditshatanga. Ndivakalelwa kukuba le yingxaki esinokuyisombulula kunye
• Kuyabanda namhlanje. Ndingakufudumeza?
• Andikwazi kugxila namhlanje. Ndiphazamiseke kakhulu ndicinga ngawe
• Ngaba ungunxantathu? Kuba ubukhali

Kuninzi okufuneka kuthethwe ngokudlala ngothando kunye nokuguquguqula izihlunu zakho zomdlalo wothando rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka, nokuba kukho iqabane lakho elimiselweyo okanye umntu omtsha kraca, okanye ukutyumza uye waba neemvakalelo ngonaphakade. Ngapha koko, njengobuninzi bezakhono, ukudlala ngothando kufuneka kuziqhelanise ukuba kuya kuba ngumthombo ophilileyo wolonwabo kunye nolonwabo.

Ukudlala ngothando yibhalansi ecekeceke – yiyo loo nto kubaluleke kangaka ukwazi umahluko phakathi kwenkqubela phambili esempilweni kunye nengenampilo. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe nawaphi na amanyathelo okuba ngudlalani ofanelekileyo, yima uze ucingisise kakuhle ngoko kubi kudlala ngothando, oko kubandakanya kona, nendlela okunokusondelelana ngayo nokukhathazwa.

Eli nqaku lihlaziywe ngoJuni ka-2023

Iindlela ezi-7 zokuphatha indoda etshatileyo edlala ngawe

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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