Xa kuziwa ekubeni kubudlelwane obunzulu, kunokubakho izinto ezininzi. Kwelinye icala kukho ukulunga kobudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane kwaye kwelinye icala, ukungaqiniseki kokuqala ubudlelwane obukude. Into eqhelekileyo kukuba uthando alunamida. Kwaye mhlawumbi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zinamandla, awukwazi nje ukuhamba phezu kwezithintelo zokungena kumgama omde we-intanethi wokuthandana kodwa ukhangele imingeni yayo emininzi ukuze uqhubeke unamandla.
Ukuba uzithembile ngomnye umntu kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngaye, akukho mida okanye imida yokoqobo ekufuneka ingene endleleni. Xa umgama womzimba ukwikamva lobudlelwane bakho, izakhono zakho zokuzibophelela kufuneka zinyuke iinotshi ezimbalwa phezulu ukuze zisebenze. Ulwalamano olude lunokuthatha umgudu ongakumbi kuwe, kodwa lunokuba lufanelekile ngokupheleleyo.
Ngeengcebiso ezifanelekileyo zobudlelwane bomgama omde ukukukhokela kolu hambo, uguqula ngokwenene unxibelelwano lwakho lube yinto enentsingiselo kwaye entle. Silapha ukukuxelela indlela yokuqalisa ubudlelwane obukude, ngokubonisana nomcebisi kunye nomqeqeshi wobomi oqinisekisiweyo. UGqr. Neelu Khanna, osebenza ngokukhethekileyo kwimiba enxulumene neemfuno zeemvakalelo kunye neengxabano zokuziphatha kwabantu, ukungavisisani emtshatweni kunye neentsapho ezingasebenziyo.
Izinto ezili-18 ozaziyo ngaphambi kokuba uqalise uBudlelwane obuMde
Isiqulatho
Ukuthandana okutsha okude kunokubonakala kunzima kakhulu. Kunokuthatha ixesha ukuqhela. Unokuchitha iintsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala uthandabuza uzibuza ukuba inokugcinwa njani oku kuwe. Usenokude ujongane neenkxalabo malunga nokukopa. Kodwa emva kokuba ezo ntsuku zovavanyo zigqithile, indlela yokumgama omde inokukugcina wonwabile.
Ukuphamba indlela ubudlelwane obukude busebenza ngayo mhlawumbi lelinye lawona manyathelo anzima kolu hambo. Nje ukuba uwele loo mda, unokukufundisa izinto ezininzi endleleni. Xa isingqisho sisendaweni kwaye uthando lwakho luqhubeka lukhula, akusayi kunqandwa. Kodwa ukuthatha ixesha lakho kwaye ukwenze ngengqondo efanelekileyo yeyona nto iphambili. Nazi izinto ezili-18 ozaziyo phambi okanye kumanqanaba okuqala okuthandana komgama omde:
1. Kuya kufuneka ubeke unyawo lwakho phambili
Kubalulekile ukwamkela ukuba ubudlelwane obukude buya kuthatha umsebenzi omninzi kunobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Into yomgama izisa iingxaki zayo kunye iingxoxo zobudlelwane. Wena kunye neqabane lakho kuya kufuneka nityale imali kubudlelwane ukuze nizisombulule ngaphandle kokuziva niphoxekile. Umzuzu uvumela izinto zityibilike okanye uhlale ungenzi nto, kushiya indawo yamathandabuzo kunye nemibuzo.
Ukucebisa malunga nendlela yokumazi umntu omde, uDkt Khanna ucebisa ukuba nangona ungeke wenze ixesha lokuthetha rhoqo, unokushiya iifoto okanye amanqaku ezwi ukuze iqabane lakho libuyele.
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2. Isithuba singakusindisa
Xa sicinga indlela yokuqalisa ubudlelwane obukude, sihlala sicinga ukuba ubuninzi bendawo ebonakalayo kufuneka bubuyekezwe ngokubetha ngokupheleleyo omnye umntu. Asiyonyaniso leyo. Nangona usilwa nobukho bendawo eninzi kakhulu yonke imihla, ukuminxa indawo yengqondo akuyi kuyicombulula loo nto. Kuya kufuneka ucinge, ingakanani indawo kubudlelwane eqhelekileyo?
Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi xa uqalisa ubudlelwane obukude nomntu osanda kudibana naye. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, awufuni ukubathumela ngokucofa ngokuza ngamandla okanye ngokuba liqabane elibambelelayo.
UDkt Khanna ucebisa ukuba indawo ibaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane obude kunobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Wongezelela ngelithi, “Ngokwenene awusoloko usazi ukuba omnye umntu akuyo nantoni na, umele uyiqonde imiqobo yakhe.”
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3. Usengawonwabela amaxesha avuselelayo
The intetho yesondo akunyanzelekanga ukuba uthathe isitulo sangasemva esipheleleyo xa uthandana nomntu omde. Ukwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile ukugcina abantu ababini kunye. Enye yeengcebiso eziqaphelekayo zobudlelwane bomgama omde kukugcina ingqondo evulekileyo xa kuziwa ekuzibandakanyeni neqabane lakho elitsha. Oku kunokubandakanya ukuthetha izinto ezimdaka, ukuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni kunye nokwabelana ngesondo ngomnxeba. Ukuphonononga ubomi bakho bobulili kuya kuthatha uphononongo oluncinci, kodwa kunye ungafumana iindlela zokugcina omnye nomnye anelisekile.
4. Kholelwa ukuba unako ukuyenza isebenze
Ukuqala ubudlelwane umgama omde akunakuba sisigqibo somzuzwana esiqhutywa ziimvakalelo ezingacacanga. Kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba yile nto uyifunayo, kwaye gcina ukuzithemba komelele njengoko ujonga imiceli mngeni emininzi kunye nemiqobo yendlela endleleni.
Yintoni egcina unxibelelwano olunjalo luqhubeka kukukholelwa kuwe, iqabane lakho kunye nothando enabelana ngalo nobabini. Yenye yezona zinto zininzi izinto ezibalulekileyo zokuthembela kubudlelwane. Ngaphandle kokholo, ulwalamano olukude lunokukhawuleza lube ngumthombo wengxabano nokungoneliseki. Nangeentsuku apho izinto zingahambi kakuhle, ukuba ukholo lwakho lomelele, unokufumana amandla okuqhubeka usebenza kuyo.
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5. Ukubaleka kwiishedyuli ezimbini
Umgama omde kwi-intanethi yokuthandana kuthetha ukuhambisana neshedyuli yakho ngelixa uhlala uhambelana neqabane lakho. Ukwazi ixesha labo lokuvuka kwimisitho emikhulu kwimini yabo, kuya kufuneka uhlale uvavanya iishedyuli ezimbini ezahlukeneyo ukuze uhlale ujonga xa zinokuhambelana.
Kwakhona kufuneka uqaphele xa omnye umntu exakekile okanye exakekile. Kubudlelwane obukude, imiyalezo iba ngumhlobo wakho omkhulu. Ke, zisebenzise ngesisa ukuqhubeka nokwakha phezu konxibelelwano lwakho kunye nokusondelelana nokuba iincoko ezithatha ixesha elide zingenakwenzeka. Xa uthetha, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukwenza incoko ibe nemveliso yaye ibangel’ umdla. Esi sisitshixo sokuphepha okungafunekiyo iingxaki zobudlelwane ekubambeni nasekujikeni okungapheliyo.
6. Musa ukuba nomona
Kulula kakhulu ukuba nomona ngokulula kubudlelwane obude. Ukuba uphose umnxeba omnye okanye ukuba ulayishe umfanekiso kunye nomfana omtsha kwiqela lemigulukudu, iintsimbi zakho ze-alarm ziqala ukukhala. Ukuba nexhala elincinci konke kulungile. Kodwa xa umona ukhaba, izinto zinokuqala ukuba yityhefu ngokulula.
Ngaphandle kokuba kukho esona sizathu sokuxhalaba, musa ukuqala ukucaphuka ngenxa yokuba ukhona ukuziva unomona nokungathembi. Umona unokuzisa amacala amabi kuthi sonke. Ke, kungcono ukugcina i-monster enamehlo aluhlaza kwaye ube nokholo kwiqabane lakho.
7. Unxibelelwano luyinto yonke
Kwaye kakhulu konke onakho. Ikwalelona cebiso libalulekileyo lokuba ungamazi njani umntu omde. Cinga ngale ndlela - ubudlelwane bakho buxhomekeke kuphela kunxibelelwano lomlomo, yiyo loo nto kufuneka lube yeyona suti inamandla yonxibelelwano lwakho. Kufuneka uzame rhoqo ukuphucula unxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho.
Ekubeni ungangenelwa kukuphululwa okuthambileyo okanye ukucofa, amazwi akho anendima ebalulekileyo kungekuphela nje ekuqaliseni ulwalamano olude kodwa nasekululondolozeni. Kuya kufuneka uthethe izinto ngentliziyo epheleleyo kwaye uqinisekise ukuba uyayithetha le nto uyithethayo.
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8. Kusenokufuneka ubeke imigaqo ethile
Xa uqala ubudlelwane obukude, kubalulekile ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nibe kwiphepha elifanayo ngezinto. Ngokuxhomekeke kwindlela ubudlelwane bakho obubhetyebhetye ngayo, kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngezinto ozilindeleyo. Ngaba bakulungele ukuzibophelela? Ngokukodwa xa uqala ubudlelwane kwi-intanethi, kufuneka misela ngokucacileyo ukuthandana imida.
Ngaba usisibini esikhethekileyo okanye akunjalo? Ngaba ungaphuma nabanye abantu? Zithini izinto ozilindeleyo kunye neemfuno zakho komnye nomnye? Le yeminye yemibuzo ekufuneka iphendulwe kwasekuqaleni.
9. Lungiselela ukungaqiniseki
Iingxaki zokungakhuseleki zinokuza kwaye zihambe nakubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Izehlo zabo zinokuba phezulu kakhulu xa ukubudlelwane obukude. UNahomi, umhlali waseSan Francisco waqala ukuthandana nendoda esekelwe eBremen, eJamani, emva kokuba ezi zimbini ziqhagamshelwe kwi-Intanethi kwaye zayibetha ngoko nangoko. Noko ke, indlela awayeziphethe kakuhle ngayo eyathi yamtsala yakhawuleza yaba ngunobangela wokungazithembi. Kudala uqhathiwe kwixa elidlulileyo, wayengakwazi ukuyishukumisa imvakalelo yokuba imbali iya kuziphinda.
Oku kwakhokelela kwimilo nokuxambulisana, nto leyo eyathi ekugqibeleni yaluchaphazela ulwalamano. Xa uqala ubudlelwane obukude nomntu odibene naye kuphela kwi-intanethi, qiniseka ukuba unayo kuwe ukuba umthembe. Ukuba kukho ilizwi elincinane entlokweni yakho elikuxelela ngenye indlela, cinga ixesha elide kwaye unzima ngaphambi kokuba uthathe i-plung.
Ukuba ukhetha ukuqala ubudlelwane, qaphela ukuba ungabonisi ukungakhuseleki kwakho komnye umntu. UGqr. Neelu Khanna uthi, “Yihlonele imingeni yomnye umntu ukuze ulungise imiba yokungakhuseleki. Ziqhelise ukulisebenzisa kakuhle ixesha ukuze ubekho xa kufuneka bathethe.”
10. Kuya kufuneka ukuba uqaphele imeko
Ukuba kubudlelwane obukude kufuna ukuba ulumke kakhulu malunga nezenzo zakho kunye nokukhetha kwakho. Kusenokufuneka ukhumbule ukuba izenzo zakho zinokulichaphazela njani iqabane lakho xa sele liziva likude nawe. Ukuba ukuxhoma nomntu iqabane lakho lingamthandiyo okanye lingamazisi malunga nalapho ukhoyo kunokubathuthumbisa ngokwenene, ungakwenzi oko.
Akusoloko iqabane lakho likrokra okanye lithandabuza. Basenokukuthemba kodwa zama ukuba ungabaniki izizathu zokuba bakhathazeke kakhulu. Iqabane lakho lisenokuziva lingenamandla kwimeko enjalo kwaye oko kunokuthi kuqhutywe ngendlela yokugqabhuka komsindo okanye ukulwa. Qonda indlela yokusingatha iingxaki zobudlelwane bomgama omde ngaphambi kokungena kwelinye.
11. Fumana indlela yokwakha ubuhlobo
Oku kudla ngokuba lula kuninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo kuba zisondelelene kwaye akukho mbono unqongopheleyo kunye nokhetho lokusebenzela kunxibelelwano lwabo kunye nokusondelelana. Xa uqala ubudlelwane umgama omde, yamkele into yokuba ukwakha ubuhlobo akuyi kuba kukuhamba epakini.
Wena kunye neqabane lakho kuya kufuneka nisebenze nzima ngokuphindwe kabini. Enye yeengcebiso malunga nendlela yokuthandana umgama omde kukwakha indlela yokufowuna, iitekisi, uhlaziyo, ubusuku bhanyabhanya, ubusuku bomhla kunye nezinye ezifanayo. imisebenzi yokudibanisa isibini. Ukusuka kwimibhalo elungileyo yokusa ukuthumela imifanekiso yeebhegi zakho zesidlo sakusasa, inkqubo yesiqhelo inokuba luncedo kuba ivakalelwa kukuba umntu uhlala ebandakanyeka.
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12. Ukuba kwi-intanethi kuya kuba yinto yakho entsha yesiqhelo
Ukuqala ubudlelwane umgama omde kunokuba mnandi kakhulu ukuba kwenziwa ngendlela efanelekileyo. Zininzi kakhulu iindlela zokuyila kwi-intanethi zokugcina unxibelelwano kule mihla. Ke, ngoku kuya kufuneka ukhululeke kakhulu ngombono wokuhlala ukudlala ngothando kwi-intanethi okanye ukuba kwifowuni yakho kakhulu kunangaphambili. Ukuba kwiifowuni, ukuthumela imiyalezo, ukujonga ixesha, i-Snapchatting - kuya kubakho ubungakanani obubonakalayo kubukho bakho ngoku.
Kubalulekile ukuba uyazi kwaye uyamkele le nyaniso kumanqanaba okuqala okuthandana komgama omde. Ngaphandle koko, ubudlelwane bunokuqala ukuvakalelwa njengomsebenzi omningi. Ukuba ubungakonwabeli ukuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukusebenzisa ifowuni yakho kakhulu ngaphambili, kuya kufuneka uzame ukukhulisa incasa yayo ngoku.
13. Kuya kufuneka wenze izinto ngefowuni yakho
Ukuhambahamba ngoku kusenokuthetha ukubamba ifowuni yakho phezulu kunye nokujongana nentombi yakho. Nangona xa usenza isidlo sakusihlwa, unokuhlala unefowuni yakho kwaye isebenza rhoqo ukuze iqabane lakho likuncede ngesitya osenzayo-kunye namaqhinga kunye neengcebiso.
Ukuthenga kunokuba mnandi ngokwenene ngaloo ndlela apho unokubonisa iqabane lakho izinto kwifowuni yevidiyo kwaye banokukunceda ukhethe kwaye ukhethe. Konke oku kuyinxalenye yokwenza izinto kunye. La maxesha amancinci uwabayo ukuze wenze eyakho inyani iya kuhamba indlela ende ekwenzeni ukuba uzive kwaye wenze njengesibini.
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14. Zilungiselele ukuhamba ngakumbi
Utyelelo kunye neeholide zizinto eziphambili zendlela yokuthandana nomgama omde. Kubudlelwane obukude, uqala ukukhangela iinqwelomoya xa omnye wenu enokutyelela omnye umntu. Le yenye ye iihacks zothando ezivavanyiweyo ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho obukude busebenze.
Le yinto enye eya kunigcina nisondelelene kakhulu kwaye nigcwalise iintsuku enizichithayo ngaphandle kunye nolindelo lokuhlangana kwakhona. Ukucwangcisa ukutyelelana emakhayeni omnye okanye ukuhlanganisana kwindawo yeholide, isithembiso sokuba kunye ukuze sikhangele phambili kunokukunceda utyhubele amaxesha anzima obulolo. Oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ulungele ukuhlala ngaphandle kweesutikheyisi zakho rhoqo. Hlala uhambelana neeshedyuli zomnye ukuze ufumane ukuvulwa okugqibeleleyo.
15. Zama ukuba ungalindeli kakhulu
Oku kusebenza kubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kwakhona! Ukufuna ukwazi ubulala ikati kunye nokulindela ukubulala ubumnandi. Xa uhlala ulindele, uhlala uzibekela amaxesha anokuthi adlulele ekuphoxekeni.
UGqr. Khanna uqinisekisa ngelithi, “Ulindelo lusoloko lusongeza iingxaki yaye lunokude lukhokelele kukwahlukana.” Umntu kufuneka akwazi ukuseta izinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane. Yiba nemigangatho kunye neemfuno zakho endaweni, kwaye unxibelelane nazo kakuhle. Musa ukuzivumela ukuba utsalwe kubudlelwane, kwaye kwangaxeshanye, ungalithathi lula iqabane lakho. Khumbula nje ukuba ukulindela kakhulu kunokuphelisa uthando esele lukho.
16 Iya kukufundisa intsingiselo yokuthembana
Enye yeengxaki ezinkulu zobudlelwane bomgama omde inokuba kukuthembana okungagungqiyo. Kodwa xa oko kuthenjwa kusekho, izinto ziba lula ngokusisiseko. Enye yezinto eziphambili ezithathwayo zokuthandana umgama kukuba amava okufunda maninzi kwaye akufundisa ngenene indlela yokwenza. yakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane.
Ukuba uqhele ukuba nexesha elinzima lokuyeka ukulinda okanye ukuvula, ubudlelwane obukude buya kutshintsha oko kuwe. Ngoku uya kuqalisa ukuthatha ukuthembela nzulu ngakumbi kwaye uphonononge kuyo ngentliziyo epheleleyo.
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17 Uzakuba nelakho ixesha
Ewe, nazi iindaba ezimnandi. Enye yezinto eziluncedo ekuqaliseni ubudlelwane obukude nomntu osanda kudibana naye okanye umntu omaziyo kudala kukuba akukho buthathaka 'bexesha lam'. Akukho budlelwane bufanele budle yonke inxalenye yobomi bakho.
Umzuzu xa iqala ukuhlasela yonke into oyiyo, awusayi kuyonwabela ngakumbi. Xa wena kunye neqabane lakho ningekho kunye ngokomzimba, umngcipheko wokuba omnye wenu afune ukuhlala ngonaphakade kwi-hip nawo ayancipha kakhulu.
Ukuqinisekisa ukuba udala indawo eyaneleyo yokuthatha ikhefu kwaye ugxininise ekukhuleni kwakho, gcina unxibelelwano lucacile kwaye lunyanisekile kwasekuqaleni kobudlelwane bomgama omde.
18. Zithembe kakhulu xa uqala ubuhlobo obukude
Le yeyona ngcebiso ibalulekileyo malunga nendlela yokujongana nobudlelwane obude. Awunako ukutsibela kwisibophelelo esinjalo xa ungaqinisekanga ngawe okanye into oyenzayo. Nje ukuba ubeke ukholo kubudlelwane, kufuneka ube nokholo kuwe.
Zithembe ukuba wenza isigqibo esifanelekileyo ngobomi bakho kwaye wenza konke okusemandleni akho. Xa amandla akho engashukumi, akukho ntaba iphakame kakhulu.
FAQs
1. Uqala njani ubudlelwane obude?
Ungaqala ubudlelwane obukude ngokufowuna ngevidiyo rhoqo, ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla neqabane lakho kwaye uziqhelanise nokuzikhethela.
2. Ngaba ubudlelwane bomgama omde buyasebenza?
Banako ukuba unengqondo evulekileyo kwaye uzimisele ukubeka umsebenzi owongezelelweyo. Kuthatha ukuzinikela okukhulu, amandla kunye nothando ukwenza ubudlelwane obukude busebenze ekuhambeni kwexesha.
3. Ngaba ubudlelwane bomgama omde buhlala?
Ngokuqinisekileyo banako. Logama nje nina nobabini ekugqibeleni ninenjongo enye yokuphela engqondweni. Kuya kufuneka ube nesigqibo sokugqibela esifanayo malunga nokuba ubona ubomi bakho buyaphi ukuze bulungelelaniswe ngaxa lithile.
4. Ubudlelwane obukude buhlala ixesha elingakanani ngaphandle kokubonana?
Ukuqhelisela ukuqonda, ukunika indawo, ukususa ikhwele zezinye iindlela zokwenza ubudlelwane buhlale. Ubudlelwane bomgama omde akulula, yiyo loo nto kuya kufuneka ulumke ngakumbi ngeemvakalelo zakho kunye nezenzo zakho xa ukunye.
5. Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba kubudlelwane obukude?
Ngokuqinisekileyo kunokuba njalo ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uyakholelwa kumntu othandana naye.
Iingcinga Final
Ukuqala ubudlelwane umgama omde kufuneka kuhlale kube sisigqibo ngabom, esicingisiswe kakuhle, ngakumbi ukuba ujonge ubambiswano oluzinzileyo noluhlala luhleli. Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba ufumene ukuba nomntu onokuthi angabikho kufutshane ngokwasemzimbeni, musa ukuvumela umgama ukuthintele ekumnikeni ithuba. Ngezi ngcebiso malunga nendlela yokujongana nobudlelwane obude kunye nokubugcina, unokuhamba ngesikhephe.
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
