Umbono weNgcali-Yintoni ukusondelelana neNdoda

Yintoni ukusondelelana endodeni? Igama lokuqala elinokuthi qatha engqondweni sisini. Nangona kunjalo, amadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo bunwebeka ngaphaya kwendawo yokuchukumisa nje kunye nokusondelana ngokwasemzimbeni. Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bunokunqanyulwa ngamaxesha amaninzi-incoko ende, inkathalo kunye nezijekulo ezincinci. Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buhamba nzulu njengoko imithambo yakho isenza kwaye incopho yako ayisoloko ifikelela kuvuthondaba ngokwesondo.

Maxa wambi, amadoda asenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuchaza indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Oko akuthethi ukuba abafuni okanye abanqweneli ubuhlobo obusondeleyo. Ingcamango yamadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo yingcamango efihlakeleyo efuna ukuhlola okunzulu. Nje ukuba uziqonde ngcono iingqondo zabo, mhlawumbi unokufumana impendulo yokuba 'yintoni ukusondelelana endodeni?'. Ukuba bekufuneka ndiphendule lo mbuzo, bendiya kuthi izinto ezininzi ezingalindelekanga zenza ingxelo ngokusondelana kwaye kukho imvakalelo yovuyo ekufumaneni nasekuphononongeni ukuba ziyintoni na. 

Ukuqonda amadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, sathetha nomcebisi wezifo zengqondo UGqr Vishal Gor (iDiploma yePsychiatric Medicine) ejongene nokusombulula imiba yokuzala kunye neengxaki zesondo. 

Kuthetha ukuthini Ukusondelelana eNdodeni-Umbono weNgcali

Vishal uthi ukusondelelana kunengcaciso ebanzi. Kubandakanya ukuvuselela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwaye kungekhona nje ngesondo. Ukubonakaliswa kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kudla ngokulahleka emadodeni kwaye ke, banokuvela njengokubiyelwe ngodonga. Uthi: “Ukusondelelana endodeni kuthetha ukumazi ngokunzulu nokumkhathalela umntu othile.” Indoda iyakunqwenela yaye isoloko ingakwazi ukuyichaza loo nto.

Amadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo sisihloko esingahlolisiswanga ngokwaneleyo. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kudla ngokuthathwa njengento engeyoyabudoda. Noko ke, ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ubani akanakucacisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo endodeni? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo. Qaphela ukuba ayifani yonke indoda. Bonke beza neemvakalelo zabo ezizibophelelayo kunye neemfuno zokhuseleko. Ngoko, makhe sihlolisise ukuba ubuhlobo obusondeleyo bunokuthetha ntoni endodeni. 

1. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo endodeni kubalulekile 

Ngokuqhelekileyo kucingelwa ukuba amadoda awafaki iintliziyo zabo kwimikhono yabo. Kwiinkcubeko ezininzi, bafundiswa ukuba babambelele kwinkcazo engqongqo kakhulu, engqongqo yesini kunye neendima zesini. Indlela abakhuliswe ngayo nendlela abaphila ngayo idla ngokubenza bazive bekhuselekile abakwazi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo. Ukuba indoda yakho izifumana ilahlekelwe ngamazwi kwiimeko ezinzima, ngoku uyazi ukuba kutheni. Uziva yonke ngaphakathi, nangona kunjalo, akakwazi ukuveza iimvakalelo zakhe ngaphandle. 

Kodwa njengoko amadoda ekhula, afuna inkxaso nentuthuzelo kwizithandwa zawo. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo endodeni kubaluleke kakhulu kuba ivumela indoda ukuba ivuleke kwaye ibe sesichengeni, ukuphalaza iimvakalelo abanokuthi bazicinezele ekuhambeni kweminyaka. Noko ke, ekubeni bezigqunyelelwe bubutyobo bexesha elidluleyo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unokuthabatha ixesha ukuchaza ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo endodeni. Ukuze kwenzeke oko, kufuneka ube kubude obufanayo kunye neqabane lakho.

UVishal uthi: “Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubaluleke gqitha emadodeni njengoko kungekho lwalamano lunokuhlala ixesha elide ngaphandle kwalo,” utsho uVishal, “amadoda afuna ukunyanyekelwa ngamaqabane awo.” Ukungabi nalwalamano olusenyongweni kudla ngokuchaphazela ulwalamano olusenyongweni ngokwasemzimbeni.

2. Amadoda afumana ukuncoma njengobudlelwane obusondeleyo

Wonke umntu uthanda ukuncoma okuhle. Amadoda awahlukanga. Amadoda amaninzi awayi kukuxelela ukuba angathanda ukuva izincomo ezivela kuwe. Noko ke, inyaniso ikukuba, bawulangazelela ngokufihlakeleyo. Ngoko ewe, izincomo zinako wonwabe umfana wakho. Ukuqinisekiswa ngoko nangoko kunyusa ukuzithemba kwabo kwaye kubanceda bahambe imini yonke ngentwasahlobo kwinqanaba labo. 

UJulia, umcebisi wesoftware, uchaza indlela anesisa ngayo ngokuncoma kwakhe ukugcina ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni wakhe. Umyeni wakhe uJames, umqeqeshi wezemidlalo, uyindoda eneentloni. Kule minyaka imbalwa idluleyo, bendimqhatha ukuba akhululeke xa ndikunye nam ngokumncoma. okanye into elula “ukucheba kwakho emva kokucheba kunuka kamnandi” Uneentloni, uziva kamnandi kwaye nam ndiyakuva.

Amadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo bufana naloo nto - ibanda encinci kwaye idinga ukufudumeza okuncinci. Ukuncoma kunokuba kukukhanya okubafudumeza kwaye kuvelise imfuno yabo yobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Ngoko ke, yintoni ukusondelelana emntwini? Impendulo ilele kwincomo enokubenza bazive bethandwa, bexatyiswa kwaye beqinisekisiwe.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 8 Iintlobo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane

3. Ukudala indawo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo kumadoda

Yintoni ukusondelelana endodeni? Isithuba. Ubudlelwane obuninzi buyaphuthaza ngenxa yokungalungelelani phakathi kobudlelwane kunye nokuzimela. Izibini ezininzi kwimihla yazo yokuqala zidibene. Emva koko banqwenela indawo, apho elinye iqabane lisenokungakulungeli ukunika ngenxa yokoyika ukulahlwa. Amadoda asoloko enqwenela indawo. Ibhinqa lisenokufumanisa le mfuneko ingekho ngqiqweni. Kodwa ukuze amadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo buhlangane, abafazi kufuneka baqonde umnqweno weqabane labo lokuzimela. 

I-Space yeyona nto iphambili kumjikelo wobudlelwane bendoda xa uthandana. Bayakholwa indawo yobuqu ibamba ubudlelwane kunye. Amadoda ayakuthanda ukuchitha ixesha kunye ukuze aqhubekisele phambili uthando kunye nokuvuselela, ukuze abuyele egcwele uthando. Uninzi lwamadoda lukwathanda ukufumana izicombululo kwiingxaki ezizayo ngokwawo. Ngaloo ndlela, indawo kunye nokuzimela kubudlelwane kubaluleke kakhulu. Ukunika iqabane lakho le ndawo kunokuba ngumqondiso osondeleyo. Kwakhona kusenokunceda ekwakheni ulwalamano olusondeleyo lweemvakalelo emtshatweni. Xa indoda ibona ukuba uyiqonda kakuhle, iya kunisondeza nobabini. Ngapha koko, uthando alukho nje ngokuba kunye ngalo lonke ixesha, akunjalo?

4. Amadoda afumana ukusondelelana kwiincoko

Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo kunye neemfihlo ezinzulu ngabaxhasi bobudlelwane obusondeleyo, ngokukaVishal. Xa ebuzwa ukuba yintoni ukusondelelana endodeni, uthi izinto zobuqu zihlala zihamba umgama omde ekomelezeni isiseko sobudlelwane. Uthi: “Kumalunga nokuthandana, ukudanisa kunye, ukuqalisa izinto ezintsha kunye, ukwabelana ngeemfihlo neemvakalelo ezinzulu, ukukhenketha okanye ukuthabatha uhambo olude, ukuphana izipho, njl. njl.

Iincoko zinokugqiba indlela olukhula ngayo ulwalamano lweemvakalelo emtshatweni okanye kulwalamano. Amanye amadoda ahlala ebiyelwe ngeendonga okanye aswele isigama sokuchaza iimvakalelo zawo kwizivakalisi. Oku akuthethi ukuba abananto ingako yokuthetha. Iqabane elikwaziyo ukuqhatha la mazwi endodeni linethuba elihle lokuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni nayo. 

Iincoko zinokutyhila iimfihlakalo ezininzi zamadoda kunye nokusondelana. Unokubasondeza ngokubandakanyeka kwiintetho uze ubazise ukuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo yokuba babe sesichengeni. Akukho nto yobuqu okanye esondelelene njengokwazi iimvakalelo zomnye. Indoda inokukuxabisa ngokuzamkela iingcamango zabo. Nangona kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba awusebenzisi esi sithuba ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo. Indawo ekhuselekileyo kufuneka ihlale ikhuselekile ngaphandle kokujika ibe sisixhobo sokuzuza amandla kubudlelwane. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 100 Imixholo yeNgxoxo Enzulu: Imibuzo Ngothando Nobomi

5. Umzimba udlala indima enkulu

Ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngokwasemzimbeni emadodeni akunakujongelwa phantsi. Ewe, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunokuthetha lukhulu endodeni, njengoko siye safikelela kwisigqibo. Kodwa imbonakalo yomzimba ibaluleke ngokufanayo. Amadoda ayayiqonda loo nto ukusondelelana kubalulekile emtshatweni yobudlelwane. Kumadoda, ukwabelana ngesondo kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obusondeleyo. Kudla ngokwahlukileyo kumabhinqa, apho ukusondelelana kunokukhokelela kwisini.

Xa kuziwa kumadoda kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, imbonakalo yomzimba idlala indima ebalulekileyo apha. Amadoda akhulula i-oxytocin - ihomoni eyonwabileyo - ngobuninzi obukhulu ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo. Ibenza babe sesichengeni kakhulu kwaye basondelelane. Nangona kunjalo, isini asiyiyo yonke into ekhoyo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo. Ngoko ke, ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunokuthetha ntoni endodeni?

"Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokwasemzimbeni abukho nje malunga nesondo. Nokuba nje ukubambana nje ngokulula kunokubala njengokusondelelana ngokomzimba. Ukuwola iqabane lakho, ukubambana ngezandla kunye, ukuncamisana, ukumbambana yimizekelo yobudlelwane bomzimba ngaphandle kokwabelana ngesondo," utshilo uVishal, wongeza. "Imalunga nokubamba kancinci, ukuhlikihla amagxa abo kunye nokutyisa umva wentamo,” wongeza uVishal. 

6. Ukuba nolwimi lothando kubudlelwane obusondeleyo

Ngamanye amaxesha uthando luyalahleka kunxibelelwano. Kodwa ukuba kujongwa ngokusondeleyo, izibini zidla ngokubhenela kwiziqinisekiso zothando zobuqu ukuze zivakalise iimvakalelo zazo. Isenokuba lulwimi lwabo olukhethekileyo lothando. Iilwimi zothando zikhona kuzo zonke izibini eziguqukayo. Kukho ubuncinci iintlobo ezintlanu zothando iilwimi. Kufuneka nje ufumanise ukuba yintoni ekusebenzelayo. 

Into eyobuqu neyodwa efana nolwimi lothando ivakala isondelelene namadoda. Yimfihlelo egcinwe kakuhle kangangokuba ingcamango yayo inokuhenda amadoda. Ibenza baqiniseke ukuba babelana nawe ngento enzulu neyobuqu. Ukuseka ulwimi lothando lelo nyathelo lomjikelo wobudlelwane bendoda xa uthandana oqinisekisa ukuqina kubudlelwane. 

Impendulo yalo mbuzo: "Yintoni ukusondela endodeni?" mhlawumbi ilula kunokuba kucingelwa ukuba injalo. Impendulo yayo ilele ekulungelelaniseni impendulo kwimibuzo emibini esisiseko eyenza undoqo womcimbi-ithetha ukuthini ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni endodeni kwaye kuthetha ukuthini ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo endodeni. 

FAQs

Iindlela ezili-12 zokwakha ukusondelelana kwengqondo kubudlelwane

Izizathu ezi-5 zokuba Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo Buphela kunye nendlela onokuthi uyithintele

Iindlela ezili-12 zokunqongophala kobudlelwane obusondeleyo emtshatweni wakho kuyakuchaphazela

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

Jonga Inkqubo yethu yokuHlela

Dibana neBhodi yethu yoHlolo

Yabelana ngeNgxelo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Uncedo Xela impazamo omnye

Ngenisa