Uhlu Lokugcina Lwemibhalo engu-9 Yokumenza Akuxoshe

Uma uke walinda ifoni yakho ukuthi ibuzz, ngethemba lomlayezo, wazi kahle ukuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani ukuzizwisa. Kodwa-ke, njengoba ukuthumela imiyalezo manje sekuyinhliziyo yokukhangwa kwesimanje, akukho ukuhambahamba usebenzisa ukusebenzisana kwakho kwedijithali ukudweba umfana futhi umgcine ebambekile. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukukugwema, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza wukuba yingcweti yobuciko bokusebenzisa imibhalo yakho ukuze uvuse intshisekelo yakhe. Cha, akuwona umgomo ophakeme. Ungenza umfana akuxoshe futhi akucabange ngemiyalezo yakho yombhalo kuphela uma wazi ukuthi ungavusa kanjani ilukuluku nokusondelana. Iqhinga liwubuqiniso ngokuthinta okungaqondakali. Sikwenzela lula ngemibhalo engu-9 ukuze akusukele.

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Ngaphambi kokuthi ugxumele ekuthumeleni leyo migqa eheha izimvemvane, kuyasiza ukwazi ukuthi iziphi izinhlobo zemibhalo ukugcina umfana enentshisekelo. Noma isitayela sombhalo esizomkhanga futhi simenze alangazelele ukuphendula. Gcina lawa mathiphu amahlanu engqondweni futhi ngeke ukhathazeke ngokuthi uzomenza kanjani akuxoshe ngombhalo:

1. Cabanga ngaphambi kokuthumela umyalezo

Kuyakulinga ukubamba ifoni yakho bese ucisha ngokushesha, “hey wyd”, uma uthanda othile. Kodwa uma ufuna ukugqama, faka umcabango omncane emibhalweni yakho. Isivuli esingahleliwe, esomile singabulala ingxoxo ngaphambi kokuthi iqale. Kunalokho, yakha umlayezo wakho ngenhloso. Ufuna ezwe noma enzeni uma eyifunda? Mhlawumbe ufuna ukumenza ahleke, noma umtshele ukuthi akucele. Hlela umbhalo wakho ngokufanele. Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuthumela imiyalezo ukulungiselela eminye imibono kusenesikhathi. Ngaleyo ndlela, awugijimi ufuna into ozoyisho futhi ngephutha uthumelela abanye imiyalezo ozozisola ngayo.

Isibonelo, bhala isigameko esihlekisayo sosuku lwakho noma umbuzo oyindida ongawubuza kuye kamuva. Lokho kuqinisekisa ukuthi uhlale unokuthile okubandakanyayo ongadonsa kusukela lapho ingxoxo yoma. Ngokuhlela nje kancane, ugwema ingozi umbhalo omile noma leyo mibhalo eyesabekayo enegama elilodwa noma igama elijwayelekile elithi “kwenzenjani.” 

2. Dlala futhi usebenzise amahlaya

Ungabi namahloni. Ukudlala ngothando okuncane kuhamba ibanga elide kunombhalo. Empeleni, ukudlala ngothando ngombhalo kungase kube lula kunokukwenza ubuso nobuso ngoba unesikhathi sokukhetha ukubuya okuhlakaniphile okuhle noma umugqa owodwa odlala ngothando. Sebenzisa lokho ukuze uzuze. Mgcone kancane, phonsa ukuncoma okuhle, noma phonsa i-emoji ebekwe kahle 😉. Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuba nesibindi nokubonisa intshisekelo yakho. Uma ekwazi ukuhambisana nokukhuluma kwakho ngothando, cishe uzokuthanda. Imibhalo edlala ngothando ngokuvamile iwuhlobo olungcono kakhulu lwemiyalezo yokuvusa isifiso sakhe futhi imenze akusukele. Phela, ubani ongajabuleli ubumnandi obungenangqondo nomuntu amthandayo?

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3. Yiba qotho futhi ube yiqiniso

Nakuba ukudlala ngothando namahlaya kuhle, akukho okudlula ukuba nguwe. Kungase kuzwakale njengeseluleko se-cliché, kodwa kubalulekile. Ungazenzi ebholeni noma uqale ukusebenzisa isitsotsi ongakaze usisebenzise ngoba ucabanga ukuthi sizomjabulisa. Uma le nto iqhubeka, uzogcina uzipholele mathupha, futhi uzothola ukuthi empeleni uyalizonda ibhola futhi usunemibandela yezemidlalo ye-Googling amasonto amaningi. Awkward. 

Kungcono kakhulu ukuvumela ubuntu bakho bangempela bukhanye zisuka nje. Ngakho-ke uma ungumpetha we-sci-fi ophusile, yiba i-sci-fi nerd. Uma unohlangothi oluthambile, thumela leyo mibhalo emnandi, emsulwa ezomenza akufune ngokukubonisa ukukhathalela. Insizwa efanele izokwazisa okwangempela kwakho. Futhi uma engakwenzi? Hhayi-ke, kungcono ukuthola ngokushesha kunokuba kamuva.

4. Musa ukunamathela 

Akuwona wonke umuntu othumela umbhalo emuva kumasekhondi angu-0.2, futhi lokho kulungile. Elinye lamaphutha amakhulu okufanele uwagweme ukuvela njengomuntu ongenasineke noma oswele ngombhalo. Siyakuthola, ukulinda impendulo evela kothile omthandayo kungaba buhlungu. Inhliziyo yakho igxuma njalo uma ifoni yakho ikhala. Kodwa ukuthumela imiyalezo kabili noma ukumqhumisa nge "???" noma “helloooo?” uma engakaphenduli ngehora kuyindlela esheshayo yokumcisha. Abafana ngokuvamile abayijabuleli imilayezo enamathelayo efana nokuthi, “Kungani ungangithumeleli umlayezo ngemuva kwamahora angu-2?” noma “Ubuyephi? 🥺”. Imilayezo efana naleyo imemeza ngamandla okukhathazeka futhi ingamenza azizwe enengcindezi. Kunalokho, yidlale kahle futhi umnikeze isikhala sokuphendula ngesikhathi sakhe.

Ngakho uma engakaphenduli, ziphazamise. Thumela umlayezo kumngane wakho, bukela uhlelo, phila impilo yakho. Uma uzwa lokho kukhala, phendula ngokujabulisayo, mhlawumbe ngisho nokudlala kancane,y mayelana nempendulo yakhe enensayo, uma lokho kufanelana namandla akho. Ukukhombisa ukuthi unempilo yakho kanye nokuzethemba kumenza akwazi ukujaha ukunaka kwakho. 

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5. Thatha isinyathelo kuqala futhi ubonise isithakazelo

Zahamba izinsuku lapho kwakumele umlinde ngocingo ukuze athathe isinyathelo kuqala. Uma ufuna ukumbamba ukunaka kwakhe, ungasabi ukuthumela umbhalo wokuqala ngezinye izikhathi noma kube nguwe othi, “Ngikukhumbule” noma “asihlanganyele ngoLwesihlanu.” Abafana empeleni bakuthola kuqabula lapho owesifazane ebonisa isithakazelo ngokuqondile. Kususa ingcindezi kubo futhi kukhombisa ukuthi uyazethemba. Okubalulekile lapha ukulinganisela nobuqotho. Ngeke uqale ukuthumela umbhalo kathathu othi “sawubona???”, kodwa yenza umzamo wokufanisa umzamo wakhe noma uhole ekuboniseni intshisekelo. 

Imibhalo engu-9 Yokumenza Akujahe

Ukuthumela umbhalo kungase kuzwakale njengomdlalo we-chess uma uthola ukuthi ungenza kanjani ukuthi akuxoshe ngombhalo. Amagama alungile angavusa ilukuluku, amenze ahleke, noma amkhumbuze ukuthi kungani engakwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngawe. Le mibhalo engu-9 yokumenza akuxoshe azuze lokho kanye, hhayi ngokukhohlisa noma imidlalo yengqondo kodwa ngokuvusa ukuxhumana ngendlela ezwakala ingokwemvelo, edlalayo, futhi engenakuphikiswa kancane. Kusuka kuzivula ezidlala ngothando ezimsondeza phakathi, imibhalo yothando evusa ukukhangwa, nezikhumbuzo ezicabangelayo ezijulisa isibopho, ngasinye sinesayense yengqondo yayo ngemuva kokuthi kungani sisebenza. Zisebenzise ngokuhlakanipha, futhi uzobona ukuthi ukujaha kungaphenduphenduka kalula kangakanani kuwe.

1. Isivuli esidlala ngothando

Imibhalo edlala ngothando iyasebenza ngoba ixuba ilukuluku nokudlala, okudala inhlansi. Ubonisa isithakazelo ngaphandle kokuba ngaphezulu-phezulu, futhi lokho kunikeza insizwa okuthile angakulandela. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziveza ukuthi ukudlala ngothando kusebenza “njengeglue” ngoba kubonisa ukukhangwa ngaphandle kokucindezela okukhulu. UDkt. Karin Anderson Abrell, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nesazi kwezobudlelwano, uyachaza, “Ukudlala ngothando kumnandi ngoba akuqondakali. Leyo ngxube yokukhanya, ukugcona, nokusikisela yikhona kanye okumenza ancike esikhundleni sokuhoxa.

Imibhalo engcono kakhulu ye-flirty yakhe:

• “Ngibe nephupho elihlekisayo izolo ebusuku… futhi ubukulo 👀”
• "Kulungile, umbuzo obalulekile: ingabe uhlala uphazamisa noma yimina nje?"
• "Uzolahlekelwa ngokumelene nami ku-Mario Kart. Ukusho nje."
• “Yeka ukuba mnandi, ngizama ukugxila lapha 😏”
• "Ngibone okuthile namuhla okungikhumbuze ngawe ... kufanele ngikutshele noma ngikugcine uqagela?"

2. Ukuncoma okunamathelayo

Ezibuza ukuthi uzomgcina kanjani ngokuthumela imiyalezo noma wenze umfana azifela ngawe ngemiyalezo nje? Awukwazi ukungahambi kahle ngokuncoma okunenhloso enhle, okuqotho. Ukuncoma kuvusa lokho izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezikubiza ngokuthi isimiso sokuvumelana. Uma othile ethola ukunconywa, ngokwemvelo ufuna ukuphindisela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyindlela yokunaka okwengeziwe, imfudumalo, noma umzamo. 

Ngakho-ke, ukuncoma kuphakathi kwezindlela eziqinisekile zokujulisa ukuxhumana ngombhalo kodwa okukhahlelayo ukuthi kufanele ugweme ama-clichés. Ukuncoma okujwayelekile kuhle, kodwa akushiyi umbono ohlala njalo. Ukuncoma komuntu siqu mayelana nekhono lakhe lokuncokola, indlela achaza ngayo izinto, noma ngisho nezinselele zakhe zishaya ngendlela ehlukile ngoba zibonisa ukuthi uyamqaphela ngempela.

Izincomo ezithandwa ngamadoda empeleni:

• "Ngiyayithanda indlela ophila ngayo uma ukhuluma ngezinto ozikhathalelayo."
• “Unale ndlela yokwenza abantu bakhululeke. Akuvamile.”
• "Iqiniso, wenza uMsombuluko ekuseni ungabi buhlungu."
• “Uhlale uwazi amaqiniso angahleliwe… Ngiyakuthanda ngasese.”
• “Indlela obukeka ngayo lapho ugxilile iyakhanga ngokungafanele.”

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3. Ngaphakathi ihlaya callback

Ngaphakathi amahlaya anamandla ngoba adala umuzwa weqiniso elihlanganyelwe. Usuka kokuthi "mina nawe" uye "thina." Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zilubiza ngokuthi “ulimi lweqembu,” futhi kungenye yezindlela ezisheshayo zokujulisa ukusondelana. Umbhalo we-callback umkhumbuza ukuthi ninezikhathi eziyimfihlo ndawonye okungekho muntu ozihlanganisayo.

Njengoba uDkt. John Gottman, umcwaningi ophambili wobudlelwano, esho, “Imibhangqwana ephumelelayo yakha isiko lokuba nenjongo efanayo.” Ngakho-ke, ukuveza amahlaya angaphakathi noma izikhathi ezabiwe ngokuqinisekile kwenza imilayezo emenza acabange ngawe. Zisebenzise kahle. 

Amahlaya angaphakathi adlalayo okuthumela umbhalo:

• "Qagela ukuthi ngibone bani namuhla? Yebo, i-barista echithe ubuciko bakho be-latte 'ephelele'."
• "Ngisanda kudlula umshini wozipho futhi ngacabanga ngamakhono akho abuhlungu e-arcade."
• "Skhumbuzo: usangikweleta impinda. Azikho izaba."
• "Ngisanda kubona ipizza yephayinaphu ... kufanele ngiqale ukugijima ngaphambi kokuthi ungithethise?"
• "Ngiphinde ngezwa lelo culo namuhla futhi ngacabanga ngaso leso sikhathi nge-karaoke yemoto yethu."

4. Ukugcona okudlalwayo

Ukugcona, uma kwenziwa kahle, kusebenza ngoba kudala ukungezwani ngaphandle kobubi. Inenhliziyo elula, inehlathi elincane, futhi imenza afune ukukhuphukela kule nselele. Ukubhuqa okudlalayo kuyangena bhebha, okufakazele ukuthi kwenyusa ukukhanga ngoba ilingisa ukuphusha-donsa okuguquguqukayo kokudlala ngothando. Lona omunye wemibhalo engu-9 yokwenza ukuthi akuxoshe angalokothi ahluleke ukushaya uphawu ngoba kwenza uxhumano lube mnandi, hhayi olubucayi noma olunzima. Uma uzimisele ngokuthola ukunakwa yindoda, kufanele ube yingcweti yokuyibhalela imibhalo yokudlala. 

Imibhalo yokudlala yakhe:

• “Ima… ingabe ngempela ungomunye walabo bantu abangakuthandi okuphuzwayo? 🚩😂”
• "Ubiza ukupheka lokho? Ngifaka isikhalazo."
• "Ngakho-ke uwuhlobo olungasinda ku-apocalypse ye-zombie ngokucasha, huh?"
• “Ngikubheja uthatha imizuzu engu-45 uku-oda endaweni yokudlela, akunjalo?”
• "Qaphela, ikhadi lakho 'lamahlaya kababa' liyavela futhi."

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5. Isiphakamiso esicashile

Uma ubuzibuza ukuthi ungasiqala kanjani isifiso ngokuthumela umbhalo, isiphakamiso esicashile siyindlela okufanele uhambe ngayo. Imibhalo ecashile, esikiselayo isebenza ngoba itshala umcabango ngaphandle kokupela yonke into. Bakha igebe, futhi abantu ngokwemvelo bafuna ukugcwalisa izikhala. Yingakho i-innuendo ivame ukuba namandla kunemigqa ecacile. Kumenza acabange, futhi ukucabanga kuwumsuka wokulangazela. Konke kumayelana nokudlala ingqondo yakhe. Uma wenze njalo usuke eqiniseka ukuthi uzoyishaya indiva imizamo yakhe yokukusukela ngoba amadoda aphendula kanjalo imiyalezo yokugcona. 

Imibhalo yokwakha ukulangazela:

• "Ngikhumbuze ukuthi ngikutshele ukuthi bengicabangani izolo ebusuku 👀"
• “Akumele ngisho ukuthi yini engiyifanekisayo njengamanje…”
• “Qaphela, ngingase ngibe nenkinga uma sihlala sodwa isikhathi eside kakhulu.”
• “Leliya hembe owaligqoka okokugcina… akulungile.”
• “Mhlawumbe ungangifaka enkingeni ukube sisemhlanganweni womsebenzi ndawonye.”

6. Ukungena kwangempela

Imibhalo yokugcina umfana enentshisekelo akumele ihlale idlala ngothando noma iphakamisa. Kwesinye isikhathi, imibhalo enamandla kakhulu ongayithumela owesilisa iyona ekhombisa ukuthi uyikhathalela kangakanani. Umqeqeshi wezobudlelwano uSusan Winter uyachaza: “Lapho othile ekhumbula imininingwane emincane yokuphila kwakho, uzizwa ubonwa futhi waziswa.” Lokhu kuqhubekela phambili yakha ukusondelana nomuntu wakho ngombhalo. 

Ukungena kwangempela kukhombisa ukuthi utshale imali enhlalakahleni yakhe, futhi lokho kukwenza kube phakathi kwemibhalo enamandla kakhulu eyakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Ilula, kodwa ishaya ingoma efanele.

Imibhalo eyakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo:

• “Sihambe kanjani isethulo sakho namuhla?”
• “Ngabe wagcina uwuwinile lowo mdlalo webhola lezinyawo?”
• “Uyangena nje — likuphatha kanjani isonto lakho?”
• “Ngiyazi ukuthi namuhla bekugcwele kuwe. Ufuna ukuphumela obala noma uzipholele nje?”
• “Wake wasinda kulokho kushoda ikhofi langoMsombuluko?”

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7. Isikhumbuzi sokujikijela emuva

Imibhalo ye-Throwback imayelana ne-nostalgia, futhi kaningi, ibamba impendulo yokuthi ungamgcina kanjani exhumekile ngokuthumela umbhalo. Inkumbulo idlala indima ebalulekile ekucupheni ukukhangwa ngoba imizwelo exhunyaniswe nesikhashana ingase iphinde isebenze kamuva. Kungakho ukukhulisa i-nostalgia kuphakathi kwemilayezo eqinisekile emenza acabange ngawe. Ngokumkhumbuza isikhathi esabelene ngaso uvusa imizwa yakhe kabusha.

Imilayezo ebuyisela emuva emenza acabange ngawe:

• Uyakhumbula ngenkathi silahleka endleleni eya kuleyo khefi?
• “Ngisanda kudlula kuleso sitolo sezincwadi esisitholile. Kungenze ngacabanga ngawe.”
• “Ukhumbule nje ukuthi ngesikhathi uzama ukungifundisa i-pool…
• "Leso sithombe sokushona kwelanga osithathile savela ocingweni lwami. Kusesinye sezintandokazi zami."
• "Sibone umuntu egqoke isigqoko esingenangqondo esivela ehlaya lethu langaphakathi - i-flashback esheshayo."

8. Ingxoxo yesikhathi esizayo

Imibhalo egxile esikhathini esizayo isebenza ngoba itshala umbono wokuthi lokhu kuxhumana akudluli. Uyamncenga ukuthi acabange ikusasa ndawonye. Kuyindlela ecashile yokuzifaka ebalazweni lakhe lengqondo. Echaza ukuthi kungani lokhu kusebenza, uchwepheshe wokuqomisana u-Logan Ury uthi, “Lapho abantu beqala ukukhuluma ngekusasa ndawonye, ​​ngisho noma bexoxa nje ngokunganaki, kwakha umuzwa wokutshalwa kwezimali.” Okubalulekile lapha wukugcina kukhaphukhaphu, hhayi ukukuphendula kube yingxoxo enzima ethi “uyaphi lo”.

Imibhalo egxile esikhathini esizayo yokugcina indoda inentshisekelo:

• "Ngesikhathi esizayo, iziphuzo zikhona. Ngigcina amaphuzu."
• "Impela sidinga impinda yalowo mdlalo ebusuku."
• "Ngolunye usuku, sizama ngokuphelele leyo ndawo yokudla ehlanyisayo."
• "Kulungile, manje siyibhalisela nini i-karaoke?"
• "Ngengeza 'ukuvakasha kwekhofi nawe' ohlwini lwamabhakede ami."

9. Isimanga esingalindelekile

Ungamgcina kanjani ebanjwe ngokuthumela imiyalezo, uyabuza? Ungabikezeli, yiba noveli. Imibhalo engahleliwe, ecatshangelwayo isebenza ngoba yakha izinto ezintsha. Isici sokumangala sixhunywe ekuphenduleni okunamandla okungokomzwelo, futhi uma umangaze umuntu ngendlela eyakhayo, ishiya uphawu. Umbamba engalindele, ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Futhi lokho kungaguqula usuku olujwayelekile lube into engcono futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uhlala emqondweni wakhe. 

Imibhalo eheha ukumangala ezomgcina exhumekile:

• "Hey, bengifuna nje ukusho ukuthi ngiyajabula ukuhlangana nawe."
• “Ungene ekhanda lami ngokunganaki, ngakho… sawubona 😄”
• “Ngiyethemba usuku lwakho luyoba luhle njengokumamatheka kwakho. (Ushizi kakhulu?)”
• "Ngicabanga ngawe. Asikho isizathu, ngoba nje."
• “Wenza usuku lwami lube ngcono ngaphandle kokuzama nokuzama.”

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa 

Imicabango Final

Le mibhalo engu-9 yokwenza ukuthi akuxoshe isebenze kahle kakhulu ngoba ayikona ukukhohlisa kodwa izindlela zangempela zokuveza intshisekelo yakho futhi ivuse inhlansi yakhe. Cabanga ngalokhu njengamathuluzi, hhayi amaqhinga. Basebenza ngoba bafinyelela ezidingweni zomuntu eziyisisekelo ukuze bazizwe befiseleka, bahleke, bakhunjuzwe, babongwe. Wathumele ngobuqiniso, hhayi ingcindezi, futhi uzobona ukuthi uncike kangakanani kuye ngokwemvelo. Futhi khumbula, uhlobo olungcono kakhulu lokujaha luhambisana. Yilapho uxhumo lunamathela ngempela.

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