Ku-movie ethi Black Panther , uChadwick Boseman (T'Challa) noLetitia Wright (Shuri) base-lab yakhe lapho ekhala, 'Kungani ukhipha izinzwane zakho e-lab yami?!' UBoseman ubheka phansi ezinyaweni zakhe ezigqoke izimbadada bese ethi, “Bengicabanga ukuthi ngizoqala usuku lwami lokuqala ngisemncane” “Ngicabanga ukuthi abadala bakuthandile lokho!” kuphendula yena.
Isimo nenkhulumomphendvulwano phakathi kwezelamani zilula, zigcwele imfudumalo nokudlala, futhi isibonelo esihle uma uzibuza ukuthi 'kuyini ukubhuqa.' Manje, i-banter empeleni ingukushintshana okulula phakathi kwabantu asebebazi kahle, noma abangahle baphule iqhwa phakathi kwabantu abangabazi.
Ukubhuqa okudlalayo akukona ngempela okothando noma okocansi, kodwa kungaba ithuluzi lakho elikhulu lokudlala ngothando uma udlala ngaleyo ndlela. Ingabe ukubhuqa kuwukudlala ngothando, siyakuzwa ubuza. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuyibeka ukuthi i-banter ingenye yezindlela zokudlala ngothando ngokuphumelelayo. Ukubhuqa okuhlakaniphile, okuhlanganiswe nokukhuluma komzimba nokuthintana kwamehlo, kungaba yilokho nje okudingayo ukuze uhehe lowo muhle obulokhu umbhekile isikhathi eside.
Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza ukuthi i-banter isho ukuthini, ukuthi ubhebhana kanjani nentombazane noma ubhebhana kanjani nomfana, sikwenzele omunye umsebenzi futhi sahlanganisa ukungena nokuphuma kwe-banter kanye nezibonelo ezithile ze-banter ukuze kube lula kuwe.
Isho ukuthini iBanter
Okuqukethwe
Ukuhleka kusho ukuxhumana ngamazwi ahlekisayo nahlekisayo. Kungaba phakathi kweqembu labangane, abantu ababili abaku-date (ngisho noku- date online ), ikhasimende kanye noweta, noma nomuntu osanda kuhlangana naye.
I-Banter ayidingi ukuba ingxoxo ejulile; empeleni, ingqikithi yayo ukuthi ingxoxo elula futhi kulula okungenzeka noma kungabi ngothando, kuye ngesimo. U-Banter akadingi ukuba nomgomo wokugcina - kungaba nje ingxoxo emfushane egcina ngokuthi wonke amaqembu azizwe ejabule futhi ejabule.
Ake ucabange, ngokwesibonelo, usephathini futhi uxoxa nothile ngesiphuzo. Unentshisekelo yokwazi kangcono. Mhlawumbe ingxoxo ihamba kanje:
Wena: Uyazi, ngingumuntu obhala imiyalezo osezingeni lomhlaba. Ngisho, ifakwe ohlwini njengekhono ku-CV yami. Ukube nginenombolo yakho, ubungazibonela.
Them: Ngakho-ke, ngamanye amazwi, izithupha zakho ziyisici sakho esingcono kakhulu?
Lena indlela ehlanzekile nevulekile yokucela imininingwane yabo yokuxhumana, nokubazisa ukuthi usukulungele ukuthumela imiyalezo ehlekisayo . Ibashiya bevulekele indlela yokuthi bavume noma cha ngaphandle kokuzizwa becindezelwe. Into enhle ngokuhleka ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi kulula futhi kulula, akekho umuntu olimalayo.
Ingabe i-Banter ilungele ubudlelwano?
Ucwaningo luthi i-banter ilungile ebudlelwaneni obuseduze njengoba yenza indawo yokuhleka, ingxoxo kanye nokugcona okunempilo. Isibonelo, mhlawumbe umlingani wakho nawe usanda kubuya esidlweni sakusihlwa sebhizinisi esiyisicefe nozakwabo.
Wena: Labo bafana bagcwele kakhulu.
Him: Abafana abakhuthele benza abayeni abangcono kakhulu!
Wena: Ngempela? Kufanele ngibheke eyodwa-ke!
Ingxoxo eqondile, kodwa nizogigitheka nobabili njengentsha ninodwa futhi nincokole. Kungaba lula kakhulu ukuthi acasuke ngoba ubize ozakwabo ngokuthi bagcwele amathafa. Kodwa, esikhundleni sokucasuka nikhethe ukulwa, nobabili nenze kwaba isikhathi esilula, esilula, nesinobungane.
Ukuhleka kuhle kakhulu kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano. Kunciphisa ukungezwani futhi kuletha umuzwa wobungane nobunye. Futhi uma nikhuluma njengabantu abalinganayo, amandla obudlelwano benu awaguquki – ningabantu ababili abathandanayo, nihlekana esikhundleni sokuhlekana.
Ngokubhuqa okudlalayo, ukudlala ngothando kungase kusondele. Futhi encwadini yethu, ukudlala ngothando kuhle ezindabeni zothando ezintsha nezindala. Ifaka isiphethu esinyathelweni sakho futhi ikwenze uzizwe uthandwa. Uma i-banter ikubeka endleleni eya kokunye okumnandi kokudlala ngothando nemizwa ehehayo, yini engaba ngcono!
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Indlela Yokubhebha: Izindlela Ezi-5 Zokusebenzisa I-Banter Ebudlelwaneni Bakho
Njengazo zonke izifundo ezibucayi, kukhona ithiyori futhi kukhona ukusetshenziswa. Uma ubufunda okuthi 'Banter for Dummies' (cha, akukona okwangempela, sikwenzile) futhi uzilolongela ukubhayiza phambi kwesibuko, kuhle, kuhle kuwe. Kodwa kuthiwani uma uzithola usesimweni esibucayi? Ingabe ubanda njengenyamazane ebanjwe izibani, noma wenza umnyakazo wakho nge-swag eyengeziwe?
Ungakhathazeki, sikusekele. Siqoqe izindlela ezithile ongazisebenzisa ukugcona empilweni yakho yangempela, ngethemba lokuthi ngaphandle kokuzizwa unamahloni noma ukusho into ezokuphatha kabi iminyaka eminingi uma ukhuluma nomlingani wakho omthandayo noma ohlekisana naye.
1. Yiba ngumnikazi wemigqa yakho yokuvula
Uyasazi leso sisho sakudala esithi 'well started is half done?' Hhayi-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukubhuqa okuhlakaniphile noma ukudlala, lokho kuyasebenza kuwe. Uma uqala unamandla, umsebenzi wakho omuhle uyenziwa. Nazi ezinye izinto ongaqala ngazo uma uzibuza ukuthi ungabhuquza kanjani nensizwa, noma ubhebhana kanjani nentombazane.
'Ngifuna ukwenza inkinga, unjani wena?'
Uma ukwazi ukukukhipha lokhu ngendlela ekhangayo, engaxabisi, kunikeza isithombe sokuthi ungumuntu ojabule olwela noma yini. Lokhu kuzosebenza embuthanweni wokuzijabulisa lapho usanda kuhlangana nozakwenu obhuqayo futhi mhlawumbe nishintshisane ngezinto ezimnandi. Ungakwazi ukukulandela ngokumemezela umdlalo noma uku-oda umjikelezo wamashothi wawo wonke umuntu.
'Awuzithandi yini izilwane kakhulu kunabantu!'
Abantu abathandana nabantu abathandana nabantu, lena ingeyakho. Siyazi ukuthi emaphathini amaningi, uyakujabulela ukuhlala ekhoneni, uthukuthelele abantu, mhlawumbe udlala nenja yomninikhaya. Kodwa abantu abaningi abathandana nabantu banekhono elimangalisayo lokuhlekisa. Futhi uma usuthole umuntu ohlekisana nabantu futhi onakekelana nabantu, vele, ubani owaziyo ukuthi yini engenzeka.
'Yini insizwa/intombazane/umuntu omuhle njengawe okwenzayo endaweni yokulahla izinto kanje'
Uzakwethu usebenzisa lokhu kimi noma nini lapho sisendaweni yokudlela ewubukhazikhazi noma ikhaya eliwubukhazikhazi. Kodwa ungayisebenzisa ngokuphelele ukuqala ingxoxo nomuntu ongamazi nawe. Lawa amazwana angalungile endaweni okuzungezile, futhi abonisa umuzwa wakho wokuhlekisa ngaphandle kokuphana kakhulu.
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2. Qaphela ulimi lwakho lomzimba
Manje, siyazi ukuthi sithe i-banter imayelana nengxoxo, kodwa masibhekane nakho, uma usacabanga ukuthi yini izibonelo ze-banter ne-banter, ulimi lomzimba luzovela lapho ndawana thize.
Lokhu kwenzeka kakhulu ezimweni lapho wena nomlingani wakho oqhudelanayo nisanda kushada, lapho nisazibuza ukuthi 'ingabe ukuqhudelana kuyahlekisa?' Ulimi lomzimba ngezinye izikhathi lungaba yisici esinqumayo phakathi kokuqhudelana okudlalwayo nokuqhudelana.
UKathleen uthi: “Ngiyakuthanda ukubhuqa, ngisho noma kungekona okokudlala ngothando. “Kodwa kunomugqa omuhle phakathi kokubhoboza nokuwela imingcele, futhi ngiyakuqaphela ukuthi ngisesikhathini sokupha noma ngokwamukela ukuklabalasa okuhlakaniphile.
“Ngake ngisendaweni yokucima ukoma neqembu labantu, futhi omunye kwakungumfana engangingamazi. Wayelokhu esho izinto ezinjengokuthi “Ungumuntu othakazelisayo ngempela” futhi sasilokhu siqamba izindaba ezihlekisayo ngabantu etafuleni elilandelayo. Kwakumnandi, kodwa wabe eseqala ukuncika kakhulu, futhi engithinta ehlombe njll., ngaleso sikhathi kwasuka ukubhuqa kwangaphatheki kahle.
Lapho ufunda ukuthi yini i-banter, kubalulekile futhi ukufunda ukuthi yini i-banter ayiyona. Futhi ukubhuqa, ukudlala ngothando njll. kudinga amanani anempilo enhlonipho nemvume. Qaphela ulimi lwakho lomzimba kanye nelomunye umuntu futhi ungeqi.
3. Ungalimazi
Futhi, lesi esinye isifundo emingceleni yobudlelwano. Ngenxa yokuthi impendulo eningi yombuzo othi 'yini i-banter' ihlanganisa ukuzijabulisa nokugcona, kulula ukucabanga ukuthi isizini evulekile kumlingani wakho obhuqayo, futhi akufanele ukhathazeke ngalokho okushoyo. Kulungile?
Akulungile. Kunomehluko phakathi kokuhleka okuhle, okujabulisayo, nokuhlekisa nokwehlisa umuntu. Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho ohlekayo engummeli bese uthi, “Ngakho-ke, ingabe noma yini engiyishoyo izosetshenziswa ngokumelene nami enkantolo?” lokho kuwukuhleka. Uma uthi, “Hawu, njengabo bonke abameli, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ungumqambimanga omuhle,” usho izinto ezibuhlungu futhi kuzozwakala sengathi wenza isahlulelo esisheshayo noma ngabe ungahlosile.
Lesi yisifundo esibaluleke kakhulu uma umlingani wakho we-banter futhi ningazani kahle kakhulu. Kodwa ungacabangi ukuthi uma uxabana nomngane wakho wesikhathi eside noma othandana naye, kuphephile ukusho noma yini oyifunayo.
“Mina nomkami sinehlaya lesikhathi eside ngebhayisikili lokuzivivinya engalithenga futhi engake ngalisebenzisa nakanye.” Ibhayisikili saliqamba ngokuthi 'Neverland' ngoba angizange ngiye lapho futhi wayevame ukubuza, 'Hey Pete, ungathini ngohambo oluya e-Neverland?' futhi ngangiphendula, ‘Akukaze kwenzeke,’” kusho uPeter.
Kodwa umkakhe, uKaty, waqala ukusho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Uyazi, i-Neverland yilapho abantu bengakhuli khona, kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi amadoda angavuthwa othandweni nasempilweni.” Kwasuka ekubeni yihlaya elifudumele, langaphakathi kwaya emancokoni ahlabayo futhi kwaholela ekuthukutheleni okukhulu phakathi kombhangqwana.
4. Yazi ukuthi kufanele ume nini
Lokhu akukhona nje ukuma lapho uqaphela ukuthi uyalimaza noma uma weqe. Kumayelana nokwazi ukuthi kunento enhle kakhulu nokuthi umlingani wakho obhuqayo udinga isikhala nesikhathi sokuphendula ngezinye izikhathi.
Uma ucabanga ngempela ngokuthi kuyini ukuhleka, khumbula ukuthi akuyona uchungechunge olungapheli lwemisho namahlaya ahlekisayo. Khumbula, izinto ezihlekisayo ebudlelwaneni zingasebenza ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa izibonelo ezinhle kakhulu zokuhleka zizokukhombisa ukuthi konke kumayelana nokuthatha isinyathelo sokubuyela emuva ngenkathi usaqhubeka.
Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi ubingelela othile ngokuthi 'nansi inkinga' lapho nje bengena egumbini, kuyahlekisa okokuqala ngqa. Kodwa uma uqhubeka isikhathi eside kakhulu, uthi 'Hhayi-ke, uma kungeyena uNkosazana Troublemaker futhi' ngokuphindaphindiwe, kuzocasula ngisho noma umuntu othintekayo engumngane.
Futhi, qaphela impendulo oyitholayo ekugconeni kwakho. Uma uzama ukuxoxa nomuntu othanda kakhulu esitolo sakho sekhofi osithandayo ngokuthi 'Ubukeka sengathi ugcwele ubhontshisi!', kodwa yena ebuka engenalutho, noma emomotheka ngenhlonipho bese ebheka eceleni, yazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka. Ngokufanayo, uma uzama ukugcona nothile embuthanweni noma emsebenzini futhi uvuzwa ngokubuka okubandayo, nqoba ukusheshe uphume. Khumbula, imvume ibalulekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izinto zilula kangakanani.
5. Phakamisa umdlalo wakho wombhalo
Asikwazanga ukushiya ngaphandle isici esibaluleke kakhulu sokubhayiza kombhalo! Ukuthumela umbhalo kuyingxenye enkulu yokusebenzelana kwethu komphakathi (noma kokuxhumana nabantu!), futhi ungathola i-banter enhle, edlalwayo ngemilayezo yombhalo.
Manje, lokhu kungaba umuntu osuvele uhlangane naye ubuso nobuso izikhathi ezimbalwa, noma umuntu ohlangane naye kuhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana , noma ngisho nomngane wakho wesikhathi eside noma umlingani wakho. Into engcono kakhulu ngokuhlekisana ukuthi ungahlanganyela kukho nanoma ubani.
Uma lona kungumuntu osuvele uhlanganyele naye ekubhayizeni kwenani eliphezulu, okungukuthi, u-banter onokutshalwa kwezimali okuqondile okungokomzwelo noma ezothando noma umgomo engqondweni, ungakwazi ukukwazi ukuthola umbhalo onesibindi nowokudlala ngothando. Ake sibhekane nakho, sonke asivimbelwe kancane embhalweni.
Okuthile okuhambisana nokuthi, 'Wenzani ukungithumelela umbhalo sekwephuze kangaka' nge-emoji efanelekile kungaba isibonelo esihle kakhulu sombhalo. Mhlawumbe baphendule ngokuthi 'Hhayi-ke, uzokwenzani ngakho-ke?' ukuze ibhola le-banter ligingqike.
Ungawabukeli phansi amandla ezimpawu zokubhala nama-emoji ku-banter. Iphuzu lokubabaza elithobekile lisho injabulo futhi libonisa ukuthi ujabulile ukukhuluma nabo. Futhi kunjalo, ama-emoji nama-gif anendawo yawo ekhethekile emhlabeni wokuthumela umbhalo.
Ukuthumela imiyalezo futhi kuyindlela ephephile uma i-banter ingezi kuwe ngokwemvelo futhi kuyindlela yokubalekela isimo uma ungekho ngempela kumuntu oxabana naye. Kunoma ikuphi, izithupha zakho zingaba abangani bakho abakhulu emhlabeni we-bantering.
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Lapho i-Banter Iphenduka Iyingozi
Ngokukhuluma okuningi mayelana nokuthi yini i-banter, kubalulekile futhi ukubheka phansi kwayo. I-Banter ingaba yingozi noma ibe yingozi uma zombili izinhlangothi zingekho ekhasini elilodwa. Okusho ukuthi, uma umuntu oyedwa ejabulela ukubhuqa, kodwa omunye engakuthandi, akukho ukulingana futhi akekho ozokujabulela.
I-Banter emsebenzini ingase ibe mnyama njengoba imingcele nemibuzo yokuthi yini okufanele ihluke. Okubonakala kulula nokugcona kumuntu oyedwa kungase kungafaneleki komunye umuntu.
Futhi, 'i-banter' ngokuvamile ingasetshenziswa kabi ukwenza umuntu azizwe emncane noma ahlazeke ngendlela abukeka ngayo noma ukuthi ungubani. Khumbula, ukukhuluma amazwi angenamusa mayelana nokubukeka komuntu, umuzwa wemfashini, imibono njll. akusho ukuthuka.
Ekugcineni, ukuhleka kudinga ubuthakathaka obukhulu kanye nokuvuleleka. Ngisho noma ungalindele umphumela wothando noma wocansi, uthatha isinyathelo futhi uzibeke obala. Ingozi yokubhekana nokwenqatshwa , noma ukuntuleka kwempendulo, ihlala ikhona, futhi awukwazi ukubalekela lokho.
Ngendlela yayo engcono kakhulu nemsulwa, i-banter isango elijabulisayo lezingxoxo nobudlelwano obuphusile, obugcwele kalula nokuhleka. Ngakho-ke, uma ubheke ukuboleka ukukhanya okuthile ekamelweni, engxoxweni, noma ngisho nasempilweni yakho, ungabheki ukudlula i-banter enhle.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ukuhleka kungaba yindlela yokuthandana ngoba konke kumayelana nengxoxo ejabulisayo nelula. Cabanga ngomugqa omuhle wokuvula, unganiki amandla asabekayo, futhi wazi ukuthi kufanele uyeke nini. Kubalulekile futhi ukukala ulimi lomzimba lomunye umuntu kanye nezimpendulo zakhe ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awuweqi noma yimiphi imingcele.
I-banter yenani eliphezulu yilapho uxabana ngokutshalwa kwezimali okuqondile kothando noma okungokomzwelo kanye/noma nezinhloso. Ngakho-ke, uma uke waqala ingxoxo nomuntu kuhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana, noma nomuntu osuvele unawo amakhemikhali othando, uyazi ukuthi unentshisekelo kwenye, noma ufuna ukuba yikho, nokuthi lokhu kuhlambalaza akukona nje ngenxa yalokho.
Gcoba ngokucindezela kwakho umbhalo ngokuthumela ama-emojis amnandi noma ama-gif. Dlulisa ngothando ngokubatshela ukuthi ubone ikati elithukuthele futhi likukhumbuze ngalo. Bahleke ngamahlaya ama-corny noma dlala ngothando ngama-memes.
Ukungqubuzana ngombhalo kuyindlela enhle yokuqala ingxoxo, noma ukuqhubeka nalowo osuvele unawo ubuso nobuso. Sebenzisa izimpawu zakho zokubhala kwesokudla (izibabazo ezimbalwa azilimazi!) futhi ube nesandla esivulekile ngama-emoji akho. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, khumbula ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi kuyajabulisa futhi kuyajabulisa kinina nobabili.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
