17 Amathiphu Endlela Yokwenqaba Umuntu Kahle—Ngezibonelo

Kungaba nzima ukwenqaba umuntu. Awufuni ukulimaza imizwa yabo, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, ayihloselwe ukuba kube njalo. Uma ufuna izindlela zokuthi cha, kungase kulingeke ukushaya ihlathi bese udambisa ukushaya, kodwa lokhu ngokuvamile kungaholela ekudidekeni okwengeziwe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, awufuni ukuzwakala ungaqondile noma uqondile funa ulimaze imizwa yabo. Ngakho yini okufanele uyenze? Kulesi sihloko, sikulethela amathiphu okuthi ungamdumaza kanjani umuntu - ngezibonelo.

17 Amathiphu Endlela Yokwenqaba Umuntu Kahle—Ngezibonelo

Ukwenqatshwa akulula neze, kodwa kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphatha ubudlelwano ngenhlonipho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzibuza ukuthi ungakwenqaba kanjani ukuqomisana noma uhoxe ebudlelwaneni obukhona, ukuxhumana okucacile kubalulekile. Ngendlela efanele, ungamlahla umuntu ngomusa nangozwela, unciphise imizwa ebuhlungu ngenkathi ulondoloza ukuhloniphana . Nazi amathiphu angu-17 awusizo—nezibonelo—zendlela yokumlahla ngenhlonipho umuntu ngenkathi ulondoloza isithunzi nokuqonda.

1. Thembeka ngemizwa yakho

Ukwethembeka kubalulekile lapho uthola indlela yokwenqaba umuntu ngenhlonipho. Mtshele imizwa yakho yangempela ukuze ugweme ukudideka noma ithemba elingamanga. Ukuba oqondile kuqinisekisa ukuthi bayaqonda umbono wakho ngaphandle kokuchazwa kabi. Uma ucacile, kunciphisa umthwalo wemizwa kubo bobabili abathintekayo, okubenza bakwazi ukuqhubeka ngenhlonipho.

• Isibonelo: "Ngiyabonga ngentshisekelo yakho, kodwa angizizwa ngendlela efanayo kwezothando. Ngithemba ukuthi uyaqonda."

Ukuhlaziywa Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zokuthi Ubudlelwano Bakho Obudlule Buthinta Ubuhlobo Bakho Bamanje

2. Yigcine icacile futhi imfushane

Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungamdumaza kanjani umuntu kahle, isifiso sakho singase siholele ekuchazeni ngokweqile kodwa zama ukugwema izincazelo ezinde. Ukukhuluma ngokuqondile kungavimbela ukungaqondani kanye nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo okungadingekile. Ukukhuluma kalula kungenza ukwenqatshwa kube lula ukukucubungula. Impendulo ecacile nemfushane ayigcini nje ngokuba nomusa kodwa futhi isiza ekubekeni imingcele ngempumelelo.

• Isibonelo: "Ngiyabonga intshisekelo yakho, kodwa angicabangi ukuthi siyalingana kahle."

Njengoba lo msebenzisi we-Reddit eluleka, “Vele ukhulume iqiniso futhi uqonde ngqo. “Angicabangi ukuthi kukhona ukuxhumana lapha, anginasithakazelo sokukubona. Ngikufisela okuhle kodwa”, into efana naleyo. Ungabaniki izaba ezinjengokuthi “akusikho wena, yimi” njengokuthi “Angikulungele ukuthandana nanoma ubani”, ngoba lokho kuzoholela ekutheni abafana bazame ukuhlala nawe belinde ukuthi uthandane nabo.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuncoma Indoda: Amathiphu Nezibonelo

3. Khetha ulimi oluhloniphayo

Nasi esinye iseluleko esibalulekile sendlela yokudumaza umfana kalula . Bonisa inhlonipho nomusa emazwini akho. Amagama anamandla, ngakho ukuwakhetha ngokuhlakanipha kungenza umehluko omkhulu. Umusa olimini unganciphisa ubuhlungu futhi ubonise ukuthi uyamhlonipha njengomuntu ngisho noma ubuhlobo bungenakuthuthuka.

• Isibonelo: “Ungumuntu omangalisayo, kodwa angibufuni ubudlelwano njengamanje. Ngikufisela okuhle kodwa.”

4. Khetha isikhathi esifanele

Qinisekisa ukuthi isikhathi sakho sifanelekile ukuze ulethe umlayezo wakho ngokucabangisisa. Ingxoxo esheshayo noma enesikhathi esingalungile ingase yengeze ingcindezi engadingekile enqubweni yokwenqaba. Ukulinda isikhathi esizolile nesifanelekile kwenza nobabili nikwazi ukusingatha isimo ngesizotha. Khetha isikhathi lapho nobabili ningakwazi ukukhuluma ngaphandle kwengcindezi yangaphandle noma izithikamezo.

5. Bonisa ukubonga ngentshisekelo yabo

Ukuvuma imizwa yabo kanye nomzamo wabo kuyisenzo somusa. Lokhu kusebenza kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenqaba umuntu omazi kahle noma uzibuza ukuthi ungayenqaba kanjani idethi nomuntu ongamazi ebhawa. Kubonisa ukuthi uyawazisa ukwethembeka kwabo futhi uyasihlonipha isibindi sabo sokuziveza. Ukubonga kungasiza ekulondolozeni isimo esihle ekuxhumaneni, noma ngabe umphumela awubavumeli.

• Isibonelo: “Ngiyabonga ngokungazisa indlela ozizwa ngayo. Ngikwazisa ngempela ukwethembeka kwakho, kodwa angizizwa ngendlela efanayo.”

Lo msebenzisi we-Reddit wakubeka ngamabomu, “Yazisa kusengaphambili kwabo, babonge ngokuncoma, banqabe kusengaphambili kwabo futhi ubafisele okuhle.”

6. Gwema ukunikeza ithemba elingamanga

Elinye icebiso elibalulekile lokuthi ungamenqaba kanjani umuntu ngenhlonipho ukuba oqondile futhi oqondile. Izinkulumo ezingacacile zingamholela ekufuneni elinye ithuba . Kunalokho, cacisa ukuze umsize aqhubeke ngaphandle kokungabaza okungadingekile. Ithemba elingamanga lingandisa ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo futhi lenze kube nzima ngaye ukwamukela isinqumo sakho.

• Isibonelo: “Angikuboni lokhu kusebenza kwezothando, kodwa ngikufisela okuhle kodwa.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindaba Ezingama-25 Zokulala Zentombi

7. Kugcine ngasese

Umthetho obaluleke kakhulu wendlela yokwehlisa umuntu kahle — ungalokothi wenqabe othile esidlangalaleni noma phambi kwabanye. Ubumfihlo buqinisekisa isithunzi futhi kunciphisa ukuphoxeka, bubavumela ukuthi basebenze endaweni yabo. Ukulahlwa ngasese kubonisa ukuthi uyayihlonipha imizwa yabo kanye nesibindi esasithatha ukuze baveze abakucabangayo.

• Isibonelo, umbhalo wokwenqaba uvumela ubumfihlo futhi ubanikeze isikhala sokucutshungulwa

8. Yiba nesizotha futhi ube nozwela

Uzwela lubonisa ukuthi uyayiqonda imizwa yabo futhi uyayikhathalela inhlalakahle yabo engokomzwelo, ngisho noma ningekho ekhasini elilodwa. Ukubonisa uzwela kungasiza omunye umuntu azizwe ebonwa futhi ehlonishwa naphezu kokulahlwa.

• Isibonelo: “Ngiyayihlonipha imizwa yakho, kodwa kudingeka ngikhulume iqiniso ukuthi anginasithakazelo ku- ubudlelwano bothando. "

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuhlela Umcimbi Wokuzibophezela? Konke Okudingeka Ukwazi

9. Yisho izizathu zakho kafushane (uma kufanele)

Ukunikeza incazelo emfushane kungengeza ukucaca, kodwa qaphela ukuthi ungachazi ngokweqile. Ukulula kuvame ukusebenza kangcono. Uma izizathu zakho ziqondile futhi zimfushane, kulula ukuthi omunye umuntu aziqonde ngaphandle kokuzizwa ekhungathekile.

• Isibonelo: “Ngicabanga ukuthi sinemigomo nezintshisekelo ezahlukene, ngakho-ke angikuboni kusebenza lokhu.”

10. Gwema ukuba nesipoki

Ukukhuluma kabi ebudlelwaneni (noma ekuqomisaneni) — ukunqamula ukuxhumana ngaphandle kwencazelo—kuphambene nendlela yokumlahla ngenhlonipho umuntu. Ukukhulumisana okuqondile kukhuthaza inhlonipho nokuvalana. Ngokubhekana nesimo obala, ubonisa inhlonipho ngesikhathi sakhe kanye nemizwa yakhe.

• Kunalokho yisho into enjengokuthi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi kungcono uma siyeka ukubonana. Ngiyabonga ngokuqondisisa.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-8 Zokumenza Azisole Ngokungakhethi Wena

11. Zinikeze isikhala sokucubungula

Ukwenqatshwa kungaba ngokomzwelo; banike isikhathi sokwamukela umyalezo. Ukuhlonipha isidingo sabo sesikhala kungenza ushintsho lube lula kubo bobabili abathintekayo. Ukubanika indawo yokucubungula imizwa yabo kuyisinyathelo sozwela.

• Isibonelo: "Ngithemba ukuthi uyawuqonda umbono wami. Ngicela uthathe isikhathi osidingayo."

12. Beka imingcele ngokucacile

Uma ungavulelekile ukuhlala ungumngane , sho kanjalo ngobumnene. Imingcele ecacile isiza bobabili abathintekayo ukuthi baqhubekele phambili ngaphandle kokudideka. Ukumisa imingcele eqinile kuvimbela ukungaqondani futhi kukhuthaza ukuxhumana okuhle esikhathini esizayo.

• Isibonelo: “Ngicabanga ukuthi kungcono ukuthi sithathe indawo siqhubeke ngokuhlukana.”

13. Thatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngemizwa yakho

Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina” ukuze ugxile embonweni wakho ngaphandle kokuwasola. Le ndlela igcizelela imizwa yakho kunokushiyeka kwayo. Ukuzibophezela ngemizwa yakho kukhombisa ukuvuthwa nokucaca.

• Isibonelo: "Angikho endaweni efanele yobudlelwano njengamanje."

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpendulo Zokudala Ezingaphezu Kwama-200 Ku-“I Love You”

14. Gwema ukugxekwa

Ungakhombi amaphutha noma uwenze azizwe engafaneleki. Kunalokho, lapho ufuna izindlela zokuthi cha , gxila kokungezwani noma imizwa yakho ukuze ugcine umyalezo wakheka. Ukugwema ukugxekwa kuqinisekisa ukuthi umyalezo wakho uhlala unenhlonipho futhi ucabangela.

• Isibonelo: "Umuhle, kodwa angiyizwa ikhemistri engiyifunayo."

15. Yiba nomusa uma bephikelela

Uma bekuthola kunzima ukwamukela isinqumo sakho, qina kodwa ube nozwela. Baqinisekise ngenhlonipho yakho kuyilapho ulondoloza ukuma kwakho. Ukuphinda isinqumo sakho ngomusa kungasiza ukuqinisa imingcele yakho.

• Isibonelo: "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi lokhu kungase kube nzima ukukuzwa, kodwa ngidinga ukucaca ukuthi imizwa yami ngeke ishintshe."

16. Ungaxolisi ngokweqile

Yebo, siyaqonda ukuthi ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungamdumaza kanjani umuntu kalula futhi ungamzwisi ubuhlungu kodwa ukuxolisa ngokweqile kuzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu. Xolisa kanye, kodwa gwema ukuxolisa ngokweqile ngoba kungase kunciphise umlayezo wakho. Ukuxolisa ngokweqile kungenza ukwenqatshwa kubonakale kungenangqondo futhi kudida. Ukuxolisa okukodwa, okuqotho, kunomthelela omkhulu.

• Isibonelo: “Ngiyaxolisa, kodwa ngidinga ukukhuluma iqiniso ngemizwa yami.”

17. Phelisa ngenothi elihle

Ukushiya ingxoxo ngendlela enenhlonipho nenomusa kungasiza ekulondolozeni isithunzi sobabili. Ukubafisela okuhle kukhombisa ukuvuthwa nokuthakasela. Ukuvala okuhle kuqinisekisa ukuthi ingxoxo iphela ngenhlonipho nozwela.

• Isibonelo: "Angikufiseli okuhle kodwa futhi ngithemba ukuthi uzothola umuntu okujabulisa ngempela."

I-Infographic Yendlela Yokulahla Umuntu Kahle Ngombhalo 

Ingabe unenkinga yokuthola amagama alungile okuthi ungamala kanjani umuntu othile ngombhalo? Siyayithola. Kubalulekile ukuhlonipha, ukwethembeka, futhi kucace, okungase kube nzima ukudlulisa embhalweni owenqabayo ngaphandle kwazo zonke izimpawu ezingasho lutho. Nazi izibonelo ezingakusiza:

Imicabango Final

Ekugcineni, khumbula ukuthi awukweleti lutho kunoma ubani. Unelungelo lokwenqaba umuntu ongahlangabezani nezidingo noma izinto ozifunayo. Nokho, ukwenqaba othile akudingekile ukuba kube into embi. Ngokulandela amacebiso achazwe kulesi sihloko, ungakhetha ukuhlonipha, ukuqondisa, nokwethembeka. Ungase ugcine ngisho nokugcina ukuguquguquka okuhle nabo.

Amathiphu ayi-15 Agcina Ubudlelwano Buqinile Futhi Bujabule

11 Izimfanelo Zobudlelwane Okufanele Ube Nazo Ukuze Uphile Injabulo

9 Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Wokuyeka Umuntu Omthanda Ngokujulile

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa