Kwase kuyiminyaka kungekho umshado ohleliwe emndenini wethu, ngisho namashumi eminyaka. Sasinamadoda nabesifazane abavela kuzo zonke izingxenye ze-India, iningi lemiphakathi, futhi akekho owayecwayiza uma intsha emndenini ithandana inqobo nje uma ukusebenza kwayo ezifundweni kungaphazamiseki. Kodwa ngikhumbula ukuphawula kobudlelwane bukaZillu ngenxa yomehluko weminyaka engu-10 emshadweni ababenawo:
" Usemdala? "
“Kunomehluko weminyaka engu-10 emshadweni phakathi kwabo?”
Yeka injabulo eyadalwa yilezo zinkulumo ezithulisiwe. Ngemva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa, bangabe besathuliswa. Kwakuyimibuzo evulekile, izitatimende, nemibono ehlanganiswe mayelana. Kwakushaqisa. Awekho amazwi angachaza indlela umehluko weminyaka emshadweni owawubhekwa njengenhlamba ngayo kulokho okwakuwumndeni ocabanga kusengaphambili kuze kube yileso sikhathi.
Cabanga nje lokhu: UMiss Y wayesebangeni leshumi nanye ngesikhathi uZillu engena esikoleni samabanga aphansi. Ngesikhathi efinyelela ibanga leshumi nanye, wayesehola futhi ezimele iminyaka engaphezu kweyisikhombisa. Waze waba neflethi lakhe.
Wayeqale ukufunda umculo kuye ngesikhathi engenalo nedevu elilodwa. Bathandana nini futhi kanjani, ungangibuzi, ngoba angazi ngempela. Ngikhumbula isiphithiphithi esikhulu lapho ngolunye usuku othile 'ethola'. Mhlawumbe u-anti noma umakhelwane onomsindo owashesha wakhuluma nabazali bakhe, kwase-ke, sonke isihogo saqhuma.
Ingabe Umehluko Weminyaka Ebudlelwaneni Ubalulekile?
Izifundo zomculo zamiswa kusukela ngaleso sikhathi. Akwenzanga mehluko. Ngokusobala, babevame ukuhlangana endaweni yakhe. UZillu wayenqatshelwe ukuya khona futhi njengoba lokhu kwakungakabikho omakhalekhukhwini, omunye wethu kwakumele amphelezele lapho eya khona, ukuze aqinisekise ukuthi akawephuli umthetho.
Kodwa uthando olungenamibandela , bathi, luthola indlela. Futhi ngesiSanskrit, kunesisho esithi uma umuntu ethandana, akazizwa esaba, enamahloni. Kungumzwelo okhokho bethu ababewazi wonke. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngangilokhu ngizibuza: kungani ubudala bubalulekile othandweni? Ingabe imibhangqwana ehlukene ngeminyaka yenza into engalungile kangaka?
UZillu nothando lwakhe lwenkosikazi abazange bakuthole kunzima ukukhohlisa abaphelezeli. Basithatha basiyisa kuma-movie. Sabuka uPhantom ethukuthele njengoba ephinda eshaya, kuyilapho bona bebambene ngokunethezeka okunomoya opholile. Ngesikhathi sijabulela ukuhamba ngamasondo amakhulu, bahamba bezulazula ukuze bagonane futhi bagonene. Sazikhotha indlela yethu ezintini zeqhwa eziwolintshi, sifunda amahlaya ekhoneni lefulethi lakhe, kuyilapho bona behleka futhi behlekisana. Ukukhangana kwabo kwakumnandi kakhulu ukubuka kangangokuthi igebe labo leminyaka ebuhlotsheni laliyinto esasingayiqapheli.
Woza uDiwali noma omunye umkhosi, bese intombi kaZillu 'ifika' izosibingelela sonke. Lokho kuthula okuxakile, ukucisha umphimbo, umnikelo onamahloni wezibiliboco nezinambithekayo, konke kwakuwubuzenzisi obunjalo. Kodwa thina (isizukulwane esisha) sasingakhathazeki kakhulu ngezinto ezifana nomehluko weminyaka phakathi kwabashadile. Sacabanga, "Inkosikazi endala kunomyeni? Pho kuthiwani?"
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Yimuphi Umehluko Ongcono Kakhulu Weminyaka Yomshado Ophumelelayo?
Izithandani ezinomehluko weminyaka - Unkosikazi omdala kunomyeni
Kusukela ebuntwaneni, sonke sasijwayele ukufunda funa singayitholi imisebenzi, uZillu kwadingeka enze okuthile ngaphandle kokuhamba naye ngesibindi. Futhi yena, njengoba ayemdala futhi ehlakaniphile, ngokuqinisekile wayesebenzisa ingqondo futhi waphikelela ukuthi aqale ukuhola ngaphambi kokuba balungele ukuhlala noma bacabangele ukushada.
Lawa magama amabili, 'hlala phansi', ayenezincazelo ezahlukene emndenini wethu, futhi kwakukhona abantu abahogelayo ngesikhathi kukhulunywa lesi simo sakhe. Kwakukhona ngempela inhlamba eningi ezungeze umehluko weminyaka engu-10 emshadweni. Kodwa kungani iminyaka ibalulekile ebudlelwaneni uma abantu ababili bejabule? Akekho owakucabangela lokho.
Ngemva kweminyaka eyishumi 'sebebanjwe', bagcina besayine irejista. Wayemlindile futhi emsekela phakathi neminyaka yakhe yasekolishi nomsebenzi wakhe wokuqala. Abanye bathi usekhulile manje. Abanye bathi ngeke ihlale. Iningi lathi liyini iphuzu? Wayeneminyaka engaba ngu-30 futhi wayesesekupheleni kweminyaka yakhe yokuzala. Kodwa bashada. Abazange bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokuhlukana kweminyaka engu-10 emshadweni.
Babezoba ingxenye enkulu yempilo yomunye kangangokuthi babengahlukaniseki. Bamane bashibilika besuka kwelinye iflethi beya kwelinye, kahle njengokufaka isokisi eselisebenzile. Igebe labo lobudala ebudlelwaneni alizange libe yisithiyo; empeleni kwakuyisizathu sokuzwana kwabo. Ingakanani iminyaka othandweni lapho abantu ababili bengama-soulmates? Imibhangqwana ye-age gap ayintuleki ngempela.
Babengenabo abantwana. Ngenxa yalokhu, thina bomzala kanye nenzalo yethu basithela ngothando njalo. Indlu yabo yayihlale ivulekile kithi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ezikhathini ezinzima, babeyidwala lethu, umbhangqwana esasingaphendukela kuwo ukuze sithole usizo nesiqondiso. Ngezikhathi ezimnandi, babengabahlanganyeli benjabulo yethu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Ubudala Bubalulekile Ngempela Othandweni Nasethandweni?
Ubudlelwano begebe leminyaka emikhulu, ingabe kuyawenza umehluko?
Njengoba bekhula, wagoba futhi waqala ukuxhuga lapho amalunga akhe exega. Futhi wayeyidwala lakhe, induku yakhe, amandla akhe, yonke into yakhe. Ngempela wayeyinkosana yakhe, ehlale ethandeka, ehlale enakisisa, futhi ehlale eyiqhawe. Ngemibimbi yakhe, wamoyizela, wabuye wajabula.
Njalo ehlobo, wayevame ukumxhasa ngeholide esiteshini sasezintabeni. Ngezinye izikhathi babehamba nathi njengabazala abambalwa. Ngemva kokuthatha umhlalaphansi, wayemyisa eholidini elihle kakhulu, lenyanga yonke. Wayeneminyaka eminingi ngaphambi kokuba alibize ngosuku. Wayeziqhenya futhi akakaze aphuthelwe ukumnika ukudla okusanda kuphekwa lapho ebuya emsebenzini. Ukuzinikela? Ungakubona ngolimi lwabo lomzimba nokuthi kwakha kanjani ubudlelwano obuhle.
Angazi kahle ukuthi yisiphi isifo, kodwa wagula wafa engakayihlanganisi iminyaka engu-60. Wayengasekho. Ihambile impela. Kanti uZillu wasala edidekile ngokwenzekile. Wayelokhu ebheke kuye. Wayedinga isandla sakhe esimqondisayo, amazwi aduduzayo nokuba khona kwakhe. Phakathi nonyaka, usizi, egajwe usizi olungashiwongo, wamjoyina. Umehluko weminyaka emshadweni kufanele ulahlwe, laba bobabili benzelwe omunye nomunye. Noma ngabe bakuphi, kumele ngabe babumbene. Lokho kuqinisekile. Futhi ngithemba ukuthi ezinye izithandani ezijabule ezinokwehluka kweminyaka nazo nazo.
Yingakho ngingasakholelwa emcabangweni wokwehluka kweminyaka efanele ukuze umshado uphumelele . Ingabe ubudala bubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi uma kukhulunywa ngomfazi omdala kunomyeni? Cha… Ukwehluka kweminyaka othandweni akunamphumela omkhulu. Njengoba ngibubukele eduze kangaka lobu budlelwano, empeleni ngingumsekeli wobudlelwano obukhulu beminyaka. Ukwehluka kweminyaka eyi-10 emshadweni, umehluko weminyaka eyi-12 emshadweni noma ngaphezulu, uthando luwuthando.
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Uthando aluhlali luphelele. Akuyona inganekwane noma incwadi yezindaba. Futhi akufiki kalula njalo. Uthando lunqoba izithiyo, ukubhekana nezinselele, ukulwa ukuba ndawonye, ukubambelela futhi ungakuyeki. Igama elifushane, ukupela okulula, okunzima ukulichaza, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuphila ngaphandle kwalo.