Amathiphu angu-7 Wokuxolela Isoka Elikhohlisayo

Ukukopela kungase kusho izinto ezingafani kubantu abahlukene, kodwa ekugcineni, kubuhlungu. Ubuhlungu nobuhlungu benhliziyo obuzwayo uma uthola ukuthi isoka lakho likuqhathile bungabekezeleleki. Umthembe ngokujulile umlingani wakho ngakho kusobala ukuthi uzizwa ushaqekile, ulimele futhi uthukuthele, ngesikhathi esifanayo lapho ufunda ngokukhashelwa kwakhe. Phakathi kwazo zonke lezi zinxushunxushu ezingokomzwelo, nawe unomunye umsebenzi onzima okubuka ebusweni - indlela yokuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna ukumnika elinye ithuba noma uqhubekele phambili.

Kuwubulungiswa ukuthi impilo yakho yehle ngenxa yokungathembeki komlingani wakho yize wena uthembekile. Ngakho-ke okudingeka ukwenze ngalesi sikhathi ukufunda ukuxolela futhi uqhubekele phambili. Ukuze uthole ukuthula kwangaphakathi futhi udedele ukucasuka okungaphakathi enhliziyweni yakho kubalulekile ukuthethelela isoka elikhohlisayo futhi uqhubeke. Kodwa lokho kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Umbuzo wokuthi uthethelela kanjani isoka elikhohlisayo ungakuhlukumeza njengoba uzama ukubhekana nalokhu kuvinjelwa.

Nakuba kungelula, ngesikhathi, umzamo kanye namathuluzi alungile okucubungula imizwa yakho, ungakwazi ukudedela ukucasuka nokulimaza. Futhi khulula, kufanele, ngenxa yakho siqu. Yebo, ngisho noma izwi ngaphakathi kuwe limemeza buthule: Angikwazi ukuthethelela isoka lami ngokukopela.

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Uma ungena ebudlelwaneni usuke usothandweni kangangokuthi uzizwa usendaweni ephephile futhi akukho ukungajabuli emhlabeni okungakuthinta. Kodwa ngolunye usuku kungaba ngenxa yelukuluku lakho siqu noma a ukuvuma isono kusoka lakho, uthole ukuthi ukukhohlisile.

Yilapho kanye umhlaba wakho ufika uwohloka futhi uzibuze - kufanele ngenzenjani ngomuntu ophule inhliziyo yami futhi ngimethembe? Ingabe ukuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo kuyinto efanele ukuyenza? Ungakwazi yini ukuxolela umlingani wokukopela? Ukuxolela isoka ebelikade lingathembeki kuwe akulula.

Ucabanga ukuxolela isoka elikopela ngoba ekujuleni kothando lwakho ngalo liyiqiniso futhi unomuzwa wokuthi mhlawumbe lizolungisa izindlela zalo. Nokho, ukuthethelela umuntu okukhaphelayo akuwona umsebenzi olula. Ukuze uxolele isoka lakho, kuzodingeka uqine ngokwanele futhi wamukele iqiniso elibuhlungu kuqala.

Ngemva kwalokho, kuyodingeka uzinike isikhathi sokuphulukisa futhi uxazulule intukuthelo onayo ngaye. Kuzodingeka uqonde umbono wakhe futhi ubhekane naso sonke isimo ngokufanele.

Khumbula ukuthi intethelelo izoba yisipho hhayi esokeni lakho kodwa kuwena. Ukumthethelela akusho ukuthi ulungile ngalokho akwenzile futhi kungase kulunge uma kwenzeka futhi. Umqondo wokuthatha isinqumo sokuxolela ukukopela ebudlelwaneni awukona ukumnika ikhadi lokuphuma ejele kodwa uwukusiza ekwelapheni kwakho. Kuyindlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi awubi umuntu onomunyu nenzondo.

Ukuthethelela nokubuyisela ebuhlotsheni ngemva kokuhlehla okunamandla akulula ukukufica, kodwa kubalulekile ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi awuboshelwe kuleso sigameko futhi usivumele sichaze impilo yakho. Mhlawumbe ngemva kokuthethelela isoka lakho, ungacabanga ngokunikeza ithuba lesibili ebuhlotsheni bakho nethemba lekusasa elijabulisayo ndawonye.

Noma mhlawumbe, ungamane uqhubeke, kodwa ngaphandle kokucasuka. Udinga ukususa isisindo sokuhlukumezeka ngaphakathi kwakho futhi ukubeke esikhathini sakho esidlule. Akufanelekile ukukhalela umlingani ongathembekile. Yingakho kubalulekile ukuxolela umuntu othandana naye ngokukopela.

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Amathiphu angu-7 Wokuthethelela Isoka Elikhohlisayo Futhi Uqhubeke

Ukukhashelwa nokulinyazwa isoka lakho kungaba yinto ephoxayo futhi ebuhlungu. Kodwa cishe uzophuma kulesi simo esibucayi njengomuntu onamandla futhi ohlakaniphile. Ukuthethelela isoka elikhohlisayo akuyona into encane nje kuphela. Yingakho noma ufuna ukubheka ngale kweziphambeko zamasoka akho, ungase uzithole usuzibuza: kungani ngingamxoleli ngokujola?

Awu, lokho kungokwemvelo nje. Ngaphambi kokuthi uzame ukuqonda indlela yokuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo, kufanele uqinisekise ukuthi ufanelwe ukuthethelelwa kwakho. Ukuxolelana ebudlelwaneni ngemva kwesigameko sokukopela akusho ukuthi kufanele ubuyisele umlingani wakho. Kusho ukuthi ukhetha ukungavumeli izinqumo zabo zithinte impilo yakho yengqondo.

Uzofunda kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho futhi uthole ithuba lokuhlangana nomuntu okufanele ngempela. Asikho isidingo sokuthwala ukucasukela umlingani ongathembekile futhi ucekele phansi impilo yakho. "Ngilixolela kanjani isoka elingiqhathileyo?" umbuzo esibuzwa njalo. Ngakho-ke, nanka amathiphu angu-7 okuthi ungathethelela kanjani isoka elikhohlisayo kubo bonke abakholelwa emathubeni esibili nalabo abafuna ukuhamba ngaphandle kwemithwalo:

1. Gwema ukuba nemizwelo kakhulu

Uma usuthole ukungathembeki, umuzwa wakho wokuqala kuzoba ukuklabalasa nokumemeza futhi ululaze isoka lakho ngendlela embi kakhulu. Intukuthelo izokwenza ufune ukwenza ngokungenangqondo. Zama ukuthi ungayivumeli le mizwa ngoba ijwayele ukuba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungavumeli imizwa ifiphaze ukwahlulela kwakho ekuthetheleleni umkhohlisi ngokushesha.

Uma uthethelela ukukopela ebuhlotsheni bakho ngaphambi kokuba uthole ithuba lokucubungula ubuhlungu nokulimala, ungase ugcine ngokungabi nandaba okuningi kwebhodlela kumlingani wakho kanye nobudlelwane ngokujwayelekile. Lokho akunempilo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo ngemva kokukopela noma ukuguqula iqabunga elisha.

Ukuze ukwazi ukumthethelela ngokweqiniso umlingani wakho, udinga ukuziqhelelanisa naye isikhathi esithile ngemva kokuvela kokungathembeki. Khipha ingxenye embi kakhulu yesiphepho ngomoya ophansi bese ucabanga ngekhanda elicacile. Kuhlale kungcono ukuthi ugweme ukufutheka ngokomzwelo futhi wehlise umoya kuqala. Abakhwabanisi bangasho izinto ezixakile uma bebhekene, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi ungene kunoma iyiphi ingxoxo mayelana nesigameko ngekhanda elipholile nelisezingeni.

Ngokuba nemizwelo ngokweqile, ungase ugcine ususho okuthile okonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho unomphela. Ngeke ukwazi ukuqonda umbono wesoka lakho noma ukwazi ukulixolela. Ukulahlekelwa ukupholisa kwakho kubi esimweni sakho sengqondo futhi akufanelekile.

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2. Cela isoka lakho ukuthi likutshele imininingwane mayelana nokuqoma

Uma ucabanga ukuthi, “Ngeke ngixolele isoka lami ngokukopela”, kungenzeka ukuthi ucabanga ngezimo ezimbi kakhulu ekhanda lakho mayelana nokujola kwesoka lakho. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi simcele ukuthi aveze imininingwane ngesigameko, noma ngabe kunjani ukumlalela echaza ngokujola nomunye wesifazane.

Kwaqala kuphi futhi kanjani, kwahlala isikhathi esingakanani, kungani enqume ukuqhubeka nakho nokunye - lena imibuzo enzima futhi nguye kuphela ongayinikeza impendulo kuyo. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi unqume ukuthi uyafuna yini ukumbuyisela emuva. Isibonelo, impendulo yokuthi ungathethelela othile ngokukopela edakiwe ingahluka kakhulu ekutholeni indlela yokuthethelela ukukopela ngokomzwelo.

Yebo, abantu bavame ukuthi ukukopela kuwukukopela. Lokho kuyiqiniso ngezinga elikhulu kodwa izimo ezaholela ekoneni, isimo sengqondo sesoka lakho ku imiphumela yokukopela kanye nesimo sobudlelwano bakho konke kunendaba lapho uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungamthethelela kanjani umlingani okhohlisayo. Isibonelo, ukuthethelela umyeni okhohlisayo izikhathi eziningi noma ukudlula ukukhaphela ngokomzwelo emshadweni kungaba nzima kakhulu kunokudlula ukuma kobusuku obubodwa.

Uma ukholelwa ngempela ukuthi akunasimilo futhi kuyinto yesikhathi esisodwa, ungacabanga ukumthethelela. Ukwazi uhlangothi lwakhe lwendaba kubalulekile ukwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni kwaphinda lokho. Lonke lolu lwazi luzokusiza ukuthi udedele ubuhlungu futhi uthole ukuvala okudingekayo. Uma ukhetha ukungambuzi, le mibuzo izoqhubeka ikuhlupha. Lokhu kuzokunikeza ukungakwazi ukuthethelela ngempela isoka elikopela.

3. Nikezanani isikhala nesikhathi esanele

Indlela yokuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo? Nikelani isikhathi nendawo yokucubungula lokhu kuhlukumezeka. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza lokho ukuthatha ikhefu. Hamba uyoshaywa umoya, ukhale ekamelweni lakho, shaya ijimu - noma yini engakusiza ucabange kahle. Kunokuba ubambelele esokeni lakho, kumele ulinike isikhala futhi ugcine ukuzihlonipha kwakho. Zinike isikhala esanele nesikhathi sokucabanga ngokwenzekile nokuthi uyafuna yini ukuhlenga ubudlelwano bakho noma cha.

Kuhle futhi ngokuphelele ukuthatha izinsuku ezimbalwa noma amaviki ukucubungula imizwa yakho ngaphambi kokuthi ucabange ngokuphulukisa nokuthethelela. Ngalesi sikhathi, ungahlangani naye futhi unciphise ukuxhumana naye. Uma nihlala ndawonye, ​​ningakwazi nokucabangela ukufuduka okwesikhashana. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi usule ikhanda lakho futhi uthole ukucaca kulokho ozifunela kona. Khona-ke, ukuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo kuba lula.

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4. Thatha usizo lwabantu ababalulekile empilweni yakho

“Kungani ngingeke ngimxolele ngokukopela?” “Ngikuthethelela kanjani ukukopela ngokomzwelo futhi ngakhe kabusha ubuhlobo bami?” “Kuthiwani uma engasangithandi?” “Kuthiwani uma ephinda eqola?” Le mibuzo ingakukhuphula odongeni, ikakhulukazi uma usenemizwa ejulile ngesoka lakho.

Lesi yisikhathi lapho udinga ibhodi elizwakalayo elithembekile empilweni yakho. Abantu ababaluleke kakhulu empilweni yakho - abangani bakho osondelene nomndeni - bangakusiza wenze isinqumo esilungele wena. Ngeke bakwehlulele futhi bayokunikeza isiqondiso esiphusile. Njengabangaphandle, bazokwazi ukuqonda isimo sakho esibucayi ngokombono oqondile. Ngosizo lwabo, ungathola ukucaciseleka mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bufanele ukulwela yini.

Ngezinye izikhathi, umbono ongathathi hlangothi kodwa ozwakalayo yilokho okudingayo ukuthethelela ukukopela ebuhlotsheni. Obathandayo banentshisekelo enkulu enhliziyweni yakho futhi bazoba khona ukuze bakusekele kulesi sikhathi esivivinyayo. Ungakugwemi ukuncika kubo ukuze bakusekele; akukho ongaba namahloni ngakho.

5. Khuluma nomeluleki oqeqeshiwe noma owelapha

Ukuze nikhulumisane ngempumelelo futhi nixazulule izinkinga zenu, ningavakashela umeluleki noma umelaphi. Ukuthola inkampani yangaphandle yochwepheshe ehilelekile kuzokuvumela ukuthi ubone izinto ngombono ocacile. Bangase bakwazi ukuhlonza izinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho obungazazi nokuthi zikhona.

Ngosizo lomlamuli, nobabili nizokwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo esithinta imizwa ngendlela evuthiwe kakhulu. Uma ufuna ngempela ubudlelwano bakho busebenze futhi uthethelele ngempela isoka elikopela, cabanga ukubonana nomelaphi. Ingena ukwelashwa kwezithandani kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokuthethelela isoka lakho ngokukopela.

Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi uthintane nemizwa yakho, uyihlele futhi uxhumane nesoka lakho futhi. Ngisho noma ufisa ukuqeda ubudlelwano futhi uqhubeke, ukufuna ukwelashwa kusengaletha imiphumela emangalisayo ekwehliseni ubungozi bezinkinga zokuzibophezela noma izitayela zokunamathisela ezingavikelekile.

Uma unenkinga yokuthola ukuthi ungamthethelela kanjani umlingani okopela futhi ufuna usizo, abeluleki abanekhono nabanolwazi Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha kuwe. Basize abantu abaningi ukuba badlule ekubuyiseleni emuva kokungathembeki, futhi nawe ungazuza esiqondisweni sabo sochwepheshe.

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6. Funda ukubekezela

Uma wazi ngokukhashelwa komlingani wakho, impilo yakho izoshintsha ngokuphazima kweso. Kuzodingeka ubhekane nezinselele eziningana ngenkathi ucubungula sonke isimo. Ubudlelwano bakho angeke buphinde bufane. Umbuzo wokuthi ungamthethelela yini umlingani okhohlisayo uzokhula kakhulu.

Kulesi simo, ukubekezela kungumngane wakho omkhulu. Kumele ufunde ukubekezela ukuze uxolele isoka lakho uqhubeke, unalo noma ngaphandle kwalo. Noma iyiphi indlela, kufanele uzinike wena nobudlelwano bakho isikhathi esanele sokuphulukisa. Azikho iziqinisekiso zokuthi uzokwazi ngokushesha kangakanani ukubeka lokhu kuphulwa kokwethembeka ngemuva kwakho.

Okubalulekile wukuqhubeka uzama futhi ugxile ekwenzeni intuthuko encane, usuku olulodwa ngesikhathi. Ukuxolela umkhohlisi ngokushesha kuyiphutha elenziwa abantu abaningi futhi elibuya lizomhlupha ngezindlela ezingalindelekile. Khumbula ukuthi isilonda sijulile, kuzothatha isikhathi ukuthi siphole, futhi noma sekwenzekile, sizoshiya izibazi ngemuva. Ngakho-ke, setha okulindelweyo ngokweqiniso ukuze ukwazi ukuthethelela ukukopela ebuhlotsheni.

7. Yenza isinqumo sakho sokugcina

Indlela yokuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo futhi kufanele? Impela lolu ucingo olunzima ukuluthatha. Qiniseka ukuthi ulinganisa okuhle nobubi ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuba wenze isinqumo sakho sokugcina. Uma uzimisele ukwamukela isoka lakho ngoba selikulungele ukushintsha izindlela zalo, ngakho-ke mnike elinye ithuba.

Kodwa-ke, uma isoka lakho lingasaxolisi futhi lisengasenaso isithakazelo ebudlelwaneni, kungcono ukuliyeka liqhubeke. Kodwa qiniseka ukuthi uyalithethelela isoka lakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isinqumo osithathayo, ngenxa yempilo yakho yengqondo nokuthula. Uma ususithathile isinqumo sakho - noma ngabe kungaba yini - namathela kuso.

Ungadlali noma uvumele izicelo zomlingani wakho ezithinta imizwa zikwenze uqagele isinqumo sakho. Kungenjalo, ungase uzithole usebudlelwaneni obunobuthi bokuphinda-phinda-phinde, futhi ukuphuma kulokho kunzima kakhulu kunokuthethelela umlingani okhohlisayo.

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Kuthiwani uma ekopele izikhathi eziningi?

Manje kuza umbuzo wethu wesibili omkhulu - Ungamthethelela kanjani umuntu owakopela izikhathi eziningi? Hhayi-ke, ayikho impendulo ecacile yalo mbuzo. Kodwa uma umuntu ekukopela izikhathi eziningi kusho ukuthi ukukopela kugxilile esimilweni sakhe.

Wake wezwa ibinzana kanye umkhohlisi, njalo impinda? Kukhona iqiniso elithile kule nkulumo. Ukukopela umlingani wakho izikhathi eziningi kukhomba ezindabeni ezingathi sína zokuzibophezela. Maningi amathuba okuthi ngeke athuthuke naphezu kwezithembiso azenzayo. Uyehluleka ukukuhlonipha nothando omnika lona ngokungethembeki kaningi. Ngakho-ke mngane wami, lawula isimo futhi uhlukane naye. Ukuthatha kalula kanye nentethelelo yakho.

Ngaso sonke isikhathi abantu abasondelene kakhulu nathi abanamandla okusilimaza ngendlela embi kakhulu. Futhi kuhlale kusemandleni ethu ukubathethelela futhi sigxile ekwenzeni izimpilo zethu zibe ngcono. Asikho isidingo sokucekela phansi amathuba akho okuhlangana nomuntu ongcono ngokumosha isikhathi sakho nomuntu ongeyona indoda yamazwi akhe. Cabanga ngakho.

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