Kuyini Ukuthethelela Ebudlelwaneni Futhi Kungani Kubalulekile

'Ukwenza iphutha kuwubuntu, ukuthethelela, ubunkulunkulu'…Lesi sicaphuno esisodwa sisitshela konke okudingeka sikwazi mayelana nesenzo sokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni - ukuthi siyadingeka kodwa futhi kunzima ukukufeza.

Sonke kumelwe sifise ukuyeka amagqubu kanye nokungalungi njengendlela yokuphila evamile ngoba kunobufakazi besayensi obuxhumanisa ikhono lokuthethelela nempilo enhle kanye nokuphila isikhathi eside. Lo mfanelo, ikakhulukazi, awunakuxoxiswana ngawo uma kukhulunywa ngokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni - okungenani, uqinile, uzinzile futhi uhlala isikhathi eside. Izibalo zixhumanisa amandla okuthethelela ebudlelwaneni nokuxhumana okujabulisayo nokwanelisayo kothando.

Ikhono lokuthethelela umuntu okuphathe kabi ngokomzwelo , ikakhulukazi uma kungumlingani wakho obangele ubuhlungu, alilula.

Kodwa akukho lutho olungalinywa ngokuphikelela nokuphikelela okuncane. Ake siqale ukwamukela lobu buhle ngokubhala imibuzo enjengokuthi kuyini ukuthethelela nokuthi kungani kubalulekile, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, nithethelelana kanjani ebudlelwaneni.

Kuyini Ukuthethelela Ebudlelwaneni Futhi Kungani Kubalulekile?

Ukuze ukwazi ukuthethelela umuntu okuphathe kabi ngokomzwelo futhi uhlakulele amandla okuthethelela ebudlelwaneni , kufanele uqale uqonde ukuthi inqubo ithinta ini.

Abantu bavame ukubhekana nobunzima bokuyeka umuzwa wokuthi boniwe ngoba baphambanisa ukuxolela nokwamukela isenzo.

Ezimweni ezinjalo, ikhono lokukhulula omunye umuntu ekoneni kwakhe libonakala njengokuvumelana nezimiso zokuziphatha, izimiso ngisho nokuzihlonipha.

Kodwa umuntu akanakuziba ukubaluleka kokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni. Izenzo zokuthethelela zinezinzuzo ezingokomoya futhi abantu abavame ukungaziboni. Uma ukwazi ukuthethelela abanye nawe ungazithethelela. Futhi lokho kubalulekile ekuthuleni kwakho.

Ngakho-ke, ukuqonda ukuthi kuyini ukuthethelela nokuthi kungani kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni kungadlala indima ebalulekile ekusizeni ukuthi wamukele lobu buhle.

Nakhu okushiwo ukuthethelela othile: Ukususa emqondweni wakho konke ukunganaki okuvela ekulimaleni omunye umuntu akubangele futhi ulahle umthwalo ongokomzwelo wesigameko esingemnandi noma izikhathi empilweni yakho.

Ikuphi ukuthethelela okungachazi? Akusho ukuthi uvumelana nokuziphatha noma ukubheka njengokwamukelekayo. Akuyona ilayisensi yokuthi omunye umuntu aphinde izindlela zokuziphatha ezilimazayo. Akusho ukuthi kufanele usule inkumbulo engqondweni yakho. Yingakho kuthiwa ungaxolela kodwa ungakhohlwa ubuhlungu.

Kungani ukuthethelela kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni?

Nokho, ngesizathu esilula sokuthi akekho kithi ozalwa ephelele. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umlingani wakho ungumuntu omangalisayo kangakanani noma ukuthi nobabili nifanelana kangakanani , bona (nawe) nakanjani bazophutha ngezikhathi ezithile, benze noma basho izinto ezizolimaza omunye umuntu noma zimshiye nezibazi ngokomzwelo.

Ukubambelela ebuhlungwini, entukuthelweni noma enzondweni ebangelwa yizinto ezinjalo kungabangela ubudlelwano bothando obuhlala njalo, obungadala ukungezwani phakathi kwabalingani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngakho-ke, ukuthethelela kuyisisekelo sokwakha ubudlelwano bothando obuhlala njalo futhi buqhubeke iminyaka eminingi.

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Kufanele umxolele nini umlingani wakho?

Ayikho indlela yokuphendula lo mbuzo ngempendulo eyodwa ngoba ukuguquguquka kokungabi khona kobudlelwano okubili kuhlale kufana komunye nomunye. Kodwa singakunikeza umthetho wesithupha ongawulandela.

1. Ukuthethelela kuncike ezingeni lokubekezelelana

Kunini lapho kufanele umthethelele khona umlingani wakho kuncike ekubekezeleleni kwakho uma kuqhathaniswa nezenzo zakhe. Ukungathembeki, isibonelo, kuyimbangela enkulu kubantu abaningi, ngakho-ke uma kulapho ukwamukela khona ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kungase kungasebenzi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, into efana nosuku lokuzalwa olukhohliwe noma ukulwa okubi ingathethelelwa.

2. Thethelela kodwa ungakhohlwa

Ngisho noma ubuhlungu obubangelwa umlingani wakho buphoqa kangangokuthi awukwazi ukuzibona usubuyelana naye, mxolele noma kunjalo. Lokhu kuzokukhulula ekubeni yisiboshwa kuya entukuthelweni eyinsalela kanye namagqubu, futhi kuvule indlela yokukhula kanye nenjabulo yakho.

3. Qonda imibono yozakwethu

Nokho, ukuqonda umbono womlingani wakho nokugxilisa ubuhle bokuthethelela ebuhlotsheni bakho AKUSHO ukubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo. Uma uhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo noma ngokocansi , phuma kulolo budlelwano ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Kodwa-ke, uma ungakuthola enhliziyweni yakho ukuthethelela umuntu onjalo, ungakhululeka eminyakeni eminingi yemithwalo yemizwa kanye nobuhlungu obukhulu ngempela.

4. Yeka ukuthi indaba ibucayi kangakanani noma incane kangakanani

Ukuthi uthethelela ngokushesha kangakanani kuncike ekutheni inkinga incane noma ingathi sína kangakanani. Uma umlingani wakho ekhohlwe usuku lwenu lokugubha usuku mhlawumbe uphatheke kabi ngakho kodwa uma exolisa futhi exolelana, kufanele umxolele ngokushesha.

Kodwa uma bekumele bakulande esikhumulweni sezindiza futhi uqhubeke ulindile futhi iselula yabo icishiwe, kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukuthi ucubungule ubuhlungu futhi uthethelele.

Nithethelelana Kanjani Ebudlelwaneni?

Njengoba sesibonile ukuthi kudinga izinhliziyo ezimbili ezithethelelayo ukuze kugcinwe uthando nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni, ake siphendule umbuzo obaluleke kakhulu othi 'umthethelela kanjani umlingani wakho ngokukulimaza?'

Ngoba ukuthethelela umuntu okuphathe kabi emoyeni kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Naphezu kwezinhloso zethu ezinhle, abaningi bethu bathola ukuthi kufanele sizikhulule ekubanjweni kwezinkumbulo ezingemnandi kanye nesisindo esikhulu samagqubu.

Kodwa umuntu akakwazi ukukushalazela ukubaluleka kokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kanye nezenzo ezilula zokuthethelela kwenza ubuhlobo benu buqine. I-"Uxolo" elula inamandla amaningi.

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Nawa amathiphu ayisishiyagalombili angasebenza angakusiza ukuthi uqalise ngendlela efanele.

1. Bheka ubuhlungu

Kuye ngobubi besiphambeko somlingani wakho, thatha isikhathi osidingayo ukucubungula yonke imizwa yentukuthelo nobuhlungu obubambe ingqondo yakho.

Vuma futhi wamukele ukuthi ulimele, futhi uvumele ukuzwa le mizwa emathanjeni akho ngaphambi kokuthola indlela yokuphuma.

2. Hlola isimo sengqondo somlingani wakho

Ukuze ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kusebenze, kufanele kube nomuzwa wokuzisola noma wokuzisola ngakolunye uhlangothi. Uma umlingani wakho engaxolisi ngempela ngezenzo zakhe, yonke inhloso yokuthethelela iba yinto engadingekile.

Nakuba usengabaxolela, umqondo wokubeka emuva emuva futhi uqinise ubuhlobo bakho ngokwengeziwe ngeke ufezeke.

3. Khuluma ngendlela ozizwa ngayos

Uma usuqedile konke obekukuzwa, khuluma nomlingani wakho ngakho. Unganqikazi ukubazisa ukuthi izenzo zabo zikushiye uzizwa ukhashelwe noma ulimele noma ungazethembi noma uthukuthele.

Banikeze ithuba lokubeka uhlangothi lwabo lwendaba, futhi ubaqinisekise ukuthi uzimisele ukusebenzela ukudlula inkinga.

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4. Buza imibuzo

Uma unemibuzo noma ukungabaza okucashile engqondweni yakho, yiveze bese uxoxa ngokwethembeka nomlingani wakho.

Ukushiya okuxekethile kungaxazululiwe kungalokhu kuququda emqondweni wakho, kuphazamise ikhono lakho lokuthethelela isithandwa sakho esikulimaze emoyeni.

5. Ncika ohlelweni lokusekela

Uma inkinga ibalulekile kangangokuthi awukwazi ukuthola indlela yokuxolela futhi uqhubeke, ukuncika ohlelweni lwakho losekelo ukuze uthole amandla kungenza umehluko omkhulu.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumngani noma umndeni noma ngisho nomqeqeshi wezempilo ochwepheshe noma umeluleki , ungangabazi ukubuza usizo lapho udinga khona.

6. Qonda umbono wabo

Abantu bayashelela, benza iphutha, kwesinye isikhathi ngaphandle kwabo. Zibeke ezicathulweni zomlingani wakho bese uzama ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebangele izenzo zabo. Ungase ungavumelani nombono wabo ngamaphesenti angu-100, kodwa kuyasiza ohlelweni lokuthethelela ebuhlotsheni.

Ukwazi ukuthi kwakungekho nhloso embi futhi noma yini eyabangela ubuhlungu kwakuyiphutha nje elingaqondile kungadambisa ubuhlungu futhi kwenze kube lula ukudedela imizwa engemihle.

7. Yazisa indima yakho kulesi simo

Lokhu akusho ukuthi uyamkhulula umlingani wakho ebubini bakhe futhi ufaka ngaphakathi icala lanoma yini engahambanga kahle. Kodwa njengoba isisho sisho - kuthatha ababili ku-tango. Okuthile okwenzile noma okushilo kungenzeka kube yimbangela yezenzo zozakwenu, futhi i-domino yasungulwa.

Vuma futhi ukwamukele lokho kungenzeka, bese uzithethelela ngakho. Kuzokwenza kube lula kuwe ukuxolela umuntu okuphathe kabi emoyeni.

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8. Okwedlule makungcwabe abafileyo bakhona

Okokugcina, shiya noma yikuphi ukudideka obhekene nakho esikhathini esidlule, qhubekela ekuqaleni okusha bese usebenza ekwakheni kabusha ukwethembana.

Ukuphakamisa izinkinga ezidlule kuzo zonke izingxabano noma ukulwa akunqobi nje yonke injongo yokuthethelela ebuhlotsheni kodwa futhi kuwuphawu lokuthi awukamthetheleli ngokweqiniso umlingani wakho.

Ingabe ubuhlobo busebenza ngaphandle kokuthethelela? Akunjalo Empeleni. Kufanele ufunde ukuthi ungathuki izinto ezincane futhi uthathe izithiyo ezimbalwa ezinkulu ekuhambeni kwakho.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, akufanele nje uthethelele ngenxa yomlingani wakho noma ubudlelwano bakho kodwa nangenxa yakho. Njengoba uBuddha asho, 'Ukubambelela entukuthelweni kufana nokuphuza ushevu futhi ulindele ukuthi omunye umuntu afe.' Kuyinto enomusa ukuyenza.

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