Izinto Ezingu-7 Ezigunyazwe Ngumelaphi Okufanele Uzenze Uma Isoka Lakho Likopela

Uyazibuza ukuthi yini okumele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukhohlisa? Ayikho impendulo elula kulo mbuzo. Ngazibonela mathupha lokhu ngesikhathi ngizama ukusiza umngane wami omkhulu, uSarah, ukuba abhekane nenkinga yokungathembeki. USarah base bethandane nesoka lakhe, u-Alex, iminyaka emithathu. Wayecabanga ukuthi banokuxhumana okuqinile, kodwa kamuva nje, umuzwa ocindezelayo wawusugxile engqondweni yakhe. U-Alex wayesekude, evame ukunyonyoba ukuze athathe izingcingo futhi echitha isikhathi esincane ekhaya.

Ngolunye usuku, uSarah wazithela phezu komyalezo osolisayo ocingweni lwakhe, oqinisekisa ukwesaba kwakhe okukhulu. Izwe lakhe lawa lapho ebona ukuthi u-Alex ubemkhohlisa. Ngaleso sikhathi, uSarah wezwa ukuxhamazela kwemizwa engqubuzanayo: ukukhashelwa, intukuthelo nosizi. Wazizwa elahlekile futhi engazi ukuthi uzobhekana kanjani nesoka elikhohlisayo. Engangingakwenza kwakuwukuba ngimsize, njengehlombe okufanele ngikhale phezu kwalo, insika eqinile yokusekela. Ubuhlungu nolaka kwakungokwakhe ukubekezelela.

Ekubukeleni usizi lwakhe eduze, ngabona ukuthi nakuba ukuthola ukungathembeki kulimaza, ngendlela efanele, ungathola ukucaca futhi unqume indlela engcono kakhulu eya phambili enhlalakahleni yakho. Ukuze ngiqonde ukuthi iyiphi indlela efanele, ngakhuluma nodokotela wezengqondo Anita Eliza (MSc in Applied Psychology), osebenza ngokukhethekile ezindabeni ezinjengokukhathazeka, ukudangala, ubudlelwano, nokuzethemba. Funda ukuze ufunde ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukhohlisa futhi lithatha izinqumo ezinolwazi mayelana nobuhlobo bakho.

Ungasho Kanjani Uma Isoka Lakho Likopela: Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Zokukhuluma 

Ngaphandle kokuthi ulibambe obala isoka lakho noma ukujola kwalo kuphumela obala, ngaphambi kokuthi uphendule umbuzo wokuthi yini okumele uyenze uma isoka lakho likujolela, kumele ube nesiqiniseko sokuthi ukujola kudlalwa. Amathumbu ezwa ukuthi uyakopela, kodwa abukho ubufakazi ukukusekela kungaba indawo ebuhlungu ukuba. Ulokhu uhamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda, unefindo esiswini, ngoba awazi ukuthi yini eyiqiniso nokuthi yisiphi isenzo asenzayo ukuvala umkhondo wakhe. 

Bhekana naye ngaphandle kobufakazi obuphathekayo, futhi ubeka engcupheni yokuthi izinsolo zakho zingaba semthethweni futhi zichithwe ngaphandle. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma ekopela, izinsolo zakho nemibuzo izokhala, imtshele ukuthi aqaphe kakhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma engakohli futhi ungasifundanga kahle isimo, ukumangalelwa kungabangela umonakalo omkhulu esibophweni senu. 

Manje, umbuzo uwukuthi, kanjani ukutshela uma isoka lakho ukukopela kuwe? U-Anita wabelane ngezimpawu eziyi-9 zesoka elikhohlisayo ebuhlotsheni okufanele uziqaphele: 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uchwepheshe Ubala Imiphumela eyi-9 Yokukopela Ebudlelwaneni

1. Kukhona ibanga elingokomzwelo kungazelelwe 

Lowo muzwa wokuthukuthela othi, "Isoka lami liyangikhohlisa", obukade ubambana nalo kungenzeka ukuthi usukela ibanga elingokomzwelo ubulokhu uzizwa. U-Anita uthi, “Ungalizwa ibanga elingokomzwelo likhasa phakathi kwakho nomngane wakho womshado ngisho noma ungakwazi nokubeka umunwe kukho.” 

Manje, umuntu angase enze kude ngokomzwelo ngenxa yezinto ezifana nengcindezi noma izinkinga empilweni yakhe yobungcweti noma yomuntu siqu. Nokho, lezi zinto kuxoxwa ngazo ebudlelwaneni. Uma singekho isizathu esizwakalayo salolu shintsho kulokhu kuziphatha, ukuba kude ngokomzwelo kungaba esinye sezimpawu zesoka elikopela ebuhlotsheni.

2. Ubudlelwano obushintshile nefoni yakhe 

Ungasho kanjani ukuthi isoka lakho likukopela, uyabuza? Izinkomba ezinkulu zokungathembeki zivame ukufihlwa ebudlelwaneni bomuntu nefoni yakhe. Ukuvikela ngokweqile nokuncika ocingweni lomuntu kuwuphawu lokukhohlisa. Nansi into izimpawu zokukopela umakhalekhukhwini ingase ibukeke kanje: 

• Uphatha ucingo lwakhe noma yikuphi lapho eya khona, ngisho noma kuwukuvula umnyango 
• Uma nihlala ndawonye, ​​ungase uphawule ukuthi uchitha isikhathi sakhe esiningi angenzi lutho ethumela imiyalezo kunokukunaka 
• Uma ungenjalo, ungase uthole ucingo lwakhe lumatasa ngawo wonke amahora 
• Noma qaphela ukuthi uku-inthanethi, kodwa akakuthumeleli imiyalezo noma ngisho nokuphendula imibhalo yakho 
• Amaphasiwedi ashintshiwe, iphasiwedi evikela izinhlelo zokusebenza ezithile, noma ukukhiya izingxoxo ezithile kuyizimpawu ezibomvu okungafanele uzibe. 

3. Uyacasuka futhi mfishane nawe 

Uma isoka lakho lihlale linemizwelo, licasuka, futhi likulungele ukukuthatha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama kangakanani ukulungisa izinto, kungase kube ngenxa yokuthi isiyaluyalu sokuphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili siyalifinyelela. Angase acasuke enomuzwa wecala wokukopela noma uzama ukuthola indlela eya phambili—ingabe kufanele aphumele obala kuwe, aqede ukujola, noma aqede nawe ukuze abe nomunye wesifazane? Phela, akulula ukwenza ubudlelwano obubili futhi ugcine konke kusezingeni eliphansi.  

4. Ushintsho olungachazeki esimisweni 

Kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obuseduze, abalingani bazazi kahle izindlela zomunye nomunye. Noma ningahlali ndawonye, ​​uyazi ukuthi isoka lakho livuka ngasiphi isikhathi, lihambe liye emsebenzini, liye ejimini, liphuze ikhofi, liyogeza, lidle ukudla kwalo, nokunye. Mhlawumbe, kube nesikhathi lapho nabelana ngezithombe nezibuyekezo ndawonye usuku lonke. 

“Nakuba kungokwemvelo ukuthi izikhathi zokuhwebelana zinciphe njengoba nizinza kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, abalingani basenolwazi ngalokho okwenzekayo osukwini nempilo yomunye futhi bangabikezela ngokunembayo ukuthi omunye kufanele enzeni ngehora elithile. uphawu lokusondelana ebudlelwaneni,” kuchaza u-Anita.” Manje, uma isimiso sakhe ngokungazelelwe singalindelekile kangangokuba ungazi ukuthi ukuphi noma ukuthi wenzani amahora (noma izinsuku) ekugcineni, kuwuphawu olubomvu olucwazimulayo olubonisa ukuthi isoka lakho liyakopela. 

5. Uyafihla 

Ngakho-ke, yini entsha empilweni yesoka lakho? Ubezihlalele nobani? Ube kanjani umsebenzi kuye? Ibaphi asebenza nabo asebezwana nabo kulezi zinsuku? Uma ungayazi impendulo yale mibuzo ngenxa yokuthi ufihla ngokweqile futhi uphendula imibuzo yakho ngezimpendulo ezingacacile njengokuthi, “O, bengizikhiphe nabangane abathile nje” noma “Ngiyophuza nabantu emsebenzini”, ulungile ngokukhathazeka. Ukukhathazeka kokuthi “isoka lami liyangikhohlisa” akubambeki. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokwenza Isithandwa Sokukopela Sizizwe Sibi - Izindlela eziyi-11 eziqinisekile

6. Umbambe ngamanga

Uma isoka lakho lilokhu liqhamuka nezaba zokuthi kungani lingakwazi ukwenza okuthile noma lichithe isikhathi nawe noma kungani belingakukhulumisani futhi izindaba zalo zingahlangani, kungenzeka ukuthi belikuqambela amanga. Uma umuntu ekhuluma iqiniso, inguqulo yakhe yemicimbi ihlala injalo. Kodwa uma beqamba amanga ukuze bafihle amathrekhi abo, kungenzeka ukuthi bazokhohlwa imininingwane ethile futhi banikeze izinguqulo ezintsha zendaba njalo uma uyiveza. Uma uke wambamba ngamanga afanayo, hhayi kanye kodwa izikhathi eziningi, kungenye yezinto ezishiwoyo izimpawu zesoka elikhohlisayo nginothize engithandananaye. 

7. Uyazivikela lapho ebuzwa 

Uma umqambela amanga noma umbuza imibuzo mayelana nesimo esithile ngokuphindaphindiwe, isoka elikhohlisayo lizozivikela, futhi liza nezimpendulo ezinjengokuthi, 

• “Angikholwa ukuthi awungethembi.
• “Uyahlanya ngeke ngikubekezelele. 
• “Ungangingabaza kanjani?”
• “Kungani ngizoqamba amanga?”

Lokhu, kuyena, kuyindlela elula yokuphuma ekuphenduleni imibuzo enzima engadalula izindlela zakhe zokukhohlisa, zokuqamba amanga. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imizwa Engu-11 Umuntu Adlula Kuyo Ngemva Kokuqhathwa

8. Ushintsho ku-libido 

Yebo, kungokwemvelo ngokuphelele ukuthi isifiso socansi sinciphe futhi sigeleze, namaphethini we ukusondelana ngokocansi ukushintsha ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, lezi zinguquko zihamba kancane futhi zizwakala njengezinto eziphilayo. Uma, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunoshintsho olusheshayo nolunamandla ku-libido yesoka lakho—angeke abonakale engakutholi ngokwanele izinsuku ezithile, bese ebonisa ukungabi nasithakazelo ekubeni nobuhlobo obuseduze izinsuku noma amasonto, kungase kube ngenxa yokuthi amandla obunye ubuhlobo bakhe anomthelela endleleni aziphatha ngayo nawe. 

Ungase uqaphele ukuthi kukhona izikhathi lapho nisondelana ngokomzimba kodwa uzizwa ekude futhi ekude. Ngakho-ke, uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungatshela kanjani ukuthi isoka lakho liyakopela, qaphela ukuthi nobabili nixhuma kanjani ekamelweni.  

9. Awuseyona into ehamba phambili

Ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo busekelwe esimisweni sabo bobabili abalingani benza umzamo wokubeka phambili omunye nomunye. Yebo, kunezikhathi lapho umsebenzi, ukuzibophezela komphakathi, kanye nezibopho zasekhaya ziphazamisa kodwa uthola indlela yokuphuma kukho futhi uxhumane kabusha. Nokho, uma isoka lakho likukhohlisa, lingase lingawenzi lowo mzamo. Kunalokho, ungase uqaphele ukuthi ubeka phambili noma yini nayo yonke into ngaphezu kwakho. Uhlale ematasa kakhulu ukuthi angahlangana noma akhulume ngoba, 

• Ubematasa emsebenzini 
• Uchitha isikhathi esiningi ejimini 
• Kudingeka ahlale nabafana 
• Uvakashele umndeni wakhe ngempelasonto
• Uhambela i-bar mitzvah yomzala kamzala asebenza naye

Iqiniso wukuthi akatholakali ngoba udinga isikhathi esiningi azosichitha nomunye wesifazane. Ingxenye yenu iyakwazi. Yingakho kunezwi ekhanda lakho elingayeki ukuthi, “Uyangikhohlisa.”  

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Isoka Lakho Likopela: Izinto Ezingu-7 Ezigunyazwe Ngudokotela Okufanele Uzizame

“Wangikhohlisa. Kufanele ngenzeni?” Sivumele sisize. Ukuthola ukuthi isoka lakho likukopela kungaba okunye okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu futhi okulimazayo ebuhlotsheni. I ukuhlukumezeka kokukhaphela futhi imizwa yobuhlungu nokudideka ingaba namandla, ikushiye ubambene nemicabango efana nokuthi yini okumele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukhohlisa noma lidlula kanjani isoka elikopela.

Nokho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi awuwedwa futhi zikhona izinyathelo ongazithatha ukuze ubhekane nalesi simo futhi uye phambili unempilo. Kusukela ekuthuleni nasekucabangeni izinto kuya ekufuneni ukwesekwa nokubeka imingcele, ngezansi kunamasu ayisikhombisa angase aphendule umbuzo wakho, “Uyangikhohlisa. Kufanele ngenzeni?”:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuphinga Ngokomzwelo: Ngikhohlisa Umkami, Hhayi Ngomzimba Kodwa Ngokomzwelo

1. Zola futhi ucabangisise

“Isoka lami langikhohlisa angazi ngenzenjani. Awukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesoka elikhohlisayo? Hhayi-ke, kungokwemvelo ukuzwa imizwa eyahlukene lapho usola noma uthola ukuthi isoka lakho likukhohlisa. Ungase uzizwe uthukuthele, ulimele, ukhashelwe, noma uphike. Nokho, ukuthatha isinyathelo emuva, ukuvuma nokucubungula imizwa yakho, nokuhlola isimo ngaphambi kokuba usabele kubalulekile.

Ufanelwe ukuzizwa uphephile, uhlonishwa, futhi waziswa ebudlelwaneni bakho.

– Anita Eliza, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo

Naka umuzwa wakho wamathumbu nanoma imaphi amafulegi abomvu okungenzeka ukuthi abekhona ebuhlotsheni. Uma unokhonkolo ubufakazi bokungathembeki, njengemilayezo noma amarisidi, aqoqe endaweni ephephile. Ngaphambi kokwenza noma yisiphi isinqumo, kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuthi izinsolo zakho zokuthi “Uyangikhohlisa” zisekelwe emaqinisweni. Ngokuka-Anita, ngezansi kunezimpawu ezimbalwa zokuthi isoka lakho likukopela:

• Ukushintsha ukuziphatha: Ukushintsha okungazelelwe ekuziphatheni njengokuzwela ngokweqile noma ukuba kude kungaba ifulegi elibomvu
• Ukungabi sobala: Uma ngokuzumayo egada ifoni yakhe, i-imeyili, noma ama-akhawunti ezinkundla zokuxhumana, kungabonisa ukuthi kukhona akufihlayo
• Imfihlo eyengeziwe: Angase aqale ukuphuma kaningi ngaphandle kokunikeza incazelo ecacile noma aziphendulele lapho ebuzwa ukuthi ukuphi.
• Ukungabi nentshisekelo: Angase alahlekelwe isithakazelo emisebenzini noma ezihlokweni ekade zibalulekile kini nobabili, ebonisa ukungazihlanganisi nobudlelwano
• Ibanga lemizwa: Ubudlelwano benu bungase bungabi obusondelene kakhulu futhi bube nezimpawu ezimbalwa zothando noma intshisekelo yokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye
• Izindleko ezingachazwanga noma izipho: Ungase ubone izinkokhiso ongazazi ezitatimendeni zekhadi lesikweletu noma uthole izinto ezibonakala njengezipho ezivela komunye umuntu
• Izinguquko ekubukekeni: Kungazelelwe ukunaka kakhudlwana ukuzilungisa, ukugqoka ngendlela ehlukile, noma ukugqoka amakha kungase kube umzamo wokujabulisa omunye umuntu.

Uma uthola lezi zimpawu zihlobene, ungase ubhekane nenkinga yokuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukopela. U-Anita uthi, “Thatha umoya futhi uzame ukungathuki. Vuma futhi wamukele imizwa yakho yentukuthelo ebuhlungu nokudabuka ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Zivumele uzizwe futhi ucubungule le mizwelo. Zinike isikhathi sokuhlaziya ubuhlobo futhi uthole noma yiziphi izimpawu eziyisixwayiso noma izinkinga ezingase zidinge ukunakwa ukuze umuntu akhule.”

Kubalulekile ukubhekana naso sonke lesi simo sokuthi “wangikhohlisa futhi ngathukuthela” ngekhanda elicacile ukuze ugweme ukuthatha izinqumo ngokuxhamazela ongase uzisole ngakho kamuva.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umlayezo Obuhlungu Oya Kusoka Elikhohlisayo: Imibono engama-50 Ehlakaniphile

2. Khuluma ngokungathembeki

Uma usuqoqe imicabango nobufakazi bakho, sekuyisikhathi sokuba nengxoxo eqotho nesoka lakho. Khetha isikhathi lapho nobabili ninethezekile futhi nizolile futhi ningakwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngaphandle kweziphazamiso noma iziphazamiso. Thembeka ngemizwa yakho ngaphandle kokusola. Gwema umdlalo wokusola. Nakuba izenzo zesoka lakho zazingalungile, ukugxila ekuzisoleni noma ekuziphindiseleni ngeke kukusize uphole.

Kulabo abazibuzayo, “Uyangikhohlisa. Ngibhekana kanjani naye ngakho?”, u-Anita uyeluleka, “Xoxa nesoka lakho ngalokho okukukhathazayo. Thembeka futhi uzame ukuqonda imizwa yomunye nomunye ngaphandle kokusola.” Ngokusho kwakhe, nansi indlela nokuthi yini okufanele uyisho:

• Veza indlela ozizwa ngayo usebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina,” njengokuthi “Ngizizwa ngiphatheke kabi kakhulu futhi ngikhashelwe ngokwenzekile.”
• Gwema ukugxeka noma ukwenza izinsolo, futhi esikhundleni salokho ugxile ekuziphatheni okuthile okuphakamise amafulegi abomvu
• Veza okukukhathazayo nemizwa yakho kanye nomthelela wezenzo zakhe ebudlelwaneni
• Zilungiselele ukusabela kwakhe - ukuphika, ukuthukuthela, noma ukuvuma izono ngezinyembezi, konke okungase kwenzeke.

Le ngxoxo ingase inganikezi zonke izimpendulo, kodwa isinyathelo esibalulekile sokuphulukisa nokuqhubekela phambili. Futhi, qiniseka ukuthi unikeza isoka lakho ithuba lokuchaza. Ukulalela kunganikeza ukuqonda ngokuziphatha kwabo futhi kukusize uqonde isithombe esigcwele. Lokhu akukuthetheleli ukukopela, kodwa kunganikeza ukucaca ngezinkinga eziwumsuka ebudlelwaneni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezihlakaniphile Eziyi-10 Zokujezisa Isoka Elikhohlisayo Ngokomzwelo

3. Thola ukwesekwa

Uma usazibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesoka elikhohlisayo, khona-ke kunempendulo eyodwa elula - ncika kunethiwekhi yakho yokusekela. Edlula ubuhlungu bokungathembeki kungaba ukwehlukanisa futhi kukhungathekise, yingakho ukuba nomngane wakho omkhulu noma obathandayo eduze kubalulekile.

Ngokwesibonelo, uSarah uthi ukuba khona kwami ​​lapho ngenxa yakhe, ukumuzwa, nokumnika indawo ephephile yokuphumela obala, kwamsiza wazizwa enesizungu futhi elahlekile. U-Anita uyavuma futhi weluleka, “Zama ukukhuluma nomuntu omethembayo njengomngane noma ilungu lomndeni mayelana nokuthi kwenzekani. Finyelela kuye ukuze uthole induduzo, ukuqinisekiswa, nombono phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima.” Siyavuma. Kubalulekile ukuthi:

• Ungavaleli imizwa yakho. Zama ukwenza ijenali ukuze ucubungule imizwa yakho
• Xhumana nesistimu yakho yokwesekwa noma inethiwekhi yabangane obathembayo noma amalungu omndeni angakunikeza ukusekela ngokomzwelo kanye nendlebe elalelayo
• Cabangela ukujoyina iqembu lokusekela labantu abaqhathwe
• Joyina imiphakathi eku-inthanethi noma izinkundla ukuze uxhumane nabanye abake babhekana nezimo ezifanayo

Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukopela, cabanga ukwabelana ngolwazi lwakho nalabo abakukhathalelayo. U-Anita uyanezela: “Kungasiza ekukhululeni imizwa yentukuthelo nentukuthelo ngesoka lakho ngokuthula kwakho kwengqondo nenhlalakahle yakho.

4. Beka imingcele

“Ngaqhathwa isoka lami kufanele ngenzenjani?”, “Isoka lami liyangikhohlisa, ngibhekana kanjani nalo? Uhlale uzibuza imibuzo enjalo? Okokuqala, beka imithetho nemingcele ethile. Uma unquma ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele ecacile kubo akhe kabusha ukwethembana futhi uqinisekise ukuthi bobabili abalingani bayakuqonda okulindelwe omunye komunye ukuya phambili. U-Anita uthi, “Nquma ukuthi yini ozoyibekezelela nongeke uyibekezelele ebudlelwaneni bakho. Yazisa isoka lakho ukuthi yini oyidingayo kulo ukuze lizizwe lingcono.”

Ukumisa imingcele kungase kubukeke kanje:

• Ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka
• Ukungafihli ngamafoni kanye nenkundla yezokuxhumana
• Ukungena njalo mayelana nemizwa namandla obudlelwano
• Izivumelwano mayelana nokuziphatha okwamukelekayo kanye nabaphula isivumelwano
• Ukuxhumana okulinganiselwe noma okungekho nozakwethu wendaba

Kubalulekile futhi ukuthola imiphumela uma le mingcele yephulwa. Khumbula, unelungelo lokuzizwa uphephile futhi uhlonishwa ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Uma unquma ukuqeda ubuhlobo

Kodwa-ke, uma unquma ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni, khona-ke imingcele izohluka kodwa, noma kunjalo, ukusungula okufanayo kubalulekile ohlelweni lwakho lwezinzwa kanye nenhlalakahle jikelele. U-Anita uyachaza, “Kunganikeza umlingani ongenacala isikhala ukuze acaciselwe, akhe kabusha ukuzethemba kwakhe, futhi azivikele ekulinyazweni okwengeziwe ngokomzwelo.” Nokho, kumelwe badlulisele imingcele yabo ngokuqiniseka futhi banamathele kuyo ngenxa yabo. Impilo yengqondo. "

Kulesi simo, udinga futhi ukuthola ukuthi ungadlula kanjani isoka elikhohlisayo. Ngalokho, u-Anita uncoma ngokuqinile ukusungula umthetho wokungaxhumani nozakwenu okhohlisayo. Uthi, "Cabanga ukuziqhelelanisa nesoka lakho lakudala ukuze uzinike isikhala sokuphulukisa futhi uqhubekele phambili. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu ezigabeni zokuqala zokuhlukana ukuze uvumele ukucutshungulwa kwemizwa nokwelashwa ngaphandle kwezikhumbuzo eziqhubekayo zokukhashelwa."

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu angu-7 Wokuxolela Isoka Elikhohlisayo

I-5. Zinakekele

“Ngaqhathwa isoka lami, angazi ngenzeni!” Hhayi-ke, ukuzinakekela kuyiphuzu elibaluleke kakhulu lokuthi ungadlula kanjani isoka elikhohlisayo. Umlingani okhohlisayo angabangela imizwa yokuzinyeza nokungazethembi, kulimaze impilo yakho yengqondo. Nakanjani uzolahlekelwa ukumethemba. Ngalesi sikhathi esinzima, kubalulekile ukubeka phambili inhlalakahle yakho. U-Anita uncoma ukuzilolonga ukuzithanda kanye nokuzibandakanya emisebenzini yokuzinakekela ekulethela injabulo nenduduzo. Gxila ku:

• Ukudla ukudla okunempilo
• Ukuxhuma kabusha nabantu obathandayo
• Ukuhlola izinto zokuzilibazisa ozijabulelayo
• Ukuzivocavoca umzimba
• Ukuzindla nokuzindla
• Ukuchitha isikhathi emvelweni

Uthi, "Shintsha ukugxila kwakho ekubekeni imigomo emisha, uphishekele isifiso sakho, futhi uzibonele ngekusasa eliqhakazile neligculisayo." Gwema izindlela zokubhekana nezinkinga ezingenampilo, njengokuphuza ngokweqile noma ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okuyingozi, ukuze ubhekane nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kokuhlukumezeka kokukhashelwa. Kunalokho, gxila enhlalakahleni yakho iyonke. Ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini ekhuthaza ukuzithanda nokuzinakekela kungasiza ekwelapheni.

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6. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Uzabalaza ukuthi yini okumele uyenze uma isoka lakho likujolela? Ukwelapha kungasiza. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unquma ukuhlala noma ukuqhubeka, ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kungaba nenzuzo emangalisayo. Umqeqeshi womshado onelayisensi noma ubudlelwano angakunikeza ngendawo ephephile yokuhlola imizwa yakho futhi akusize uqondise imizwa yakho engqubuzanayo futhi wenze izinqumo mayelana nokuqhubekela phambili.

U-Anita uyachaza, “Umelaphi oqeqeshiwe anganikeza indawo ephephile nengahluleli ukuze umuntu ahlole imizwa yakhe, acubungule ukukhashelwa, futhi athole ukucaciseleka ngezidingo namagugu akhe. Ukwelashwa kungabasiza baqonde umthelela wokungathembeki ekuzethembeni kwabo, ezindabeni zokwethembana, nasebudlelwaneni besikhathi esizayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ingabaqondisa ekubekeni imingcele enempilo, enempilo, enempilo. ukubhekana nosizi nokulahlekelwa, ukuthuthukisa ukuqina, nokubanikeza amandla okwenza izinqumo ezinolwazi ngekusasa labo.”

Uma uthatha isinqumo sokuhlala ebuhlotsheni, utusa ukubonisana nomelaphi wezithandani ukuze “anisize nobabili nikhulume ngemizwa yenu futhi nithole indlela yokuqhubekela phambili”. Umqeqeshi wobudlelwano anganisiza nobabili nixazulule izinkinga okungenzeka zibe nomthelela ekungathembeki. Bangakwazi ukuqondisa izingxoxo ezingase zibe inselele kakhulu ukuthi ungazulazula uwedwa futhi basize ukubuyisela ukwethembana okulahlekile uma nobabili nikhetha ukuhlala ndawonye.

Uchwepheshe wethu wabelana ngesibonelo sangempela sokuthi ukwelapha kungasiza kanjani umuntu ukuba anqobe isoka lakhe elikhohlisayo

UMira, owesifazane osemusha waseBengaluru, washaqeka lapho ethola ukuthi uRon, umlingani wakhe, ubejola nomuntu asebenza naye. Njengowesifazane ogxile ngokujulile ohlelweni lwakhe lwenani nenkolo, uMira ekuqaleni waba nemizwa yokuhlazeka nokuphoxeka ngalesi simo, esaba ukwahlulelwa umndeni wakhe nomphakathi.

Nokho, ngokuqondiswa umelaphi ozwelayo owayeqonda isizinda sakhe samasiko nokuxhumana kwakhe nenkolo, uMira wathola induduzo ezimfundisweni zokholo lwakhe, ezazigcizelela imfundiso yenkolo. ukubaluleka kokuthethelela kanye nesihawu. Ethola amandla emibhalweni yakhe yezenkolo, wakhetha ukukhuluma noRon mayelana nokungathembeki kwakhe futhi azifunele ukuvalwa.

Ngokuzindla, uMira waqala uhambo lokuphulukisa nokuzitholela yena. Namuhla, wamukela ubunikazi bakhe njengowesifazane onamandla noqinile oqondayo futhi owazi ukuphila ngokuzimela.

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7. Nquma ukuthi yikuphi okukulungele

Nali icebiso elibalulekile lokuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukhohlisa - cabanga ngalokho okufunayo. U-Anita uyachaza, “Zinike isikhathi sokucabanga ngokuthi uyafuna yini ukuqhubeka nobuhlobo bomshado noma cha. Themba imizwa yakho futhi wenze lokho okukulungele. Lapho wenza kanjalo, cabangela isimiso sika-10-10-10. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isinqumo osithathayo, cabanga ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani ngaso ngemva kwemizuzu engu-10, izinyanga eziyishumi noma engu-10 kamuva.

Zinike isikhathi sokukala okuhle nokubi kokuhlala noma ukushiya ubudlelwano. Uyachaza, “Thola ukuthi umlingani uzisola ngempela yini ngokuziphatha kokukopela futhi uzimisele ukukulungisa ngezenzo zakhe noma indlela avame ukuyilandela.” Cabangela amandla akho okuthethelela futhi wakhe kabusha ukwethembana. Ngezansi imibuzo embalwa okufanele uzibuze yona ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo:

• Ingabe ngisamthanda umlingani wami naphezu kokukhashelwa?
• Ingabe umlingani wami uzimisele ukushintsha futhi alungise izinkinga eziholele ekutheni akope?
• Ngingalibona ikusasa lapho mina uzizwe uphephile ebudlelwaneni?

Ekugcineni, isinqumo sokuthi uhlale ebudlelwaneni noma ubuqede ngesakho wedwa. Cabangela amanani akho, izidingo, kanye nemingcele lapho wenza lesi sinqumo. Isoka lakho likuqhathile. Ungaziboni unengcindezi yokuthi uhlale ebudlelwaneni obungasakusizi. Ungase ube nemicabango mayelana nokufuna ukuziphindiselela futhi lokho kulungile, kodwa ukwenza ngokuvumelana nayo cishe kuzokwandisa ubuhlungu bakho futhi kuvimbele ukuphulukiswa kwakho. Ngezansi kukhona amathiphu ambalwa angasiza, noma ngabe unquma ukuhlala noma ukuhamba:

Uma unquma ukuhlala

• Zibophezele ekuxhumaneni okuvulekile kanye nokubeka izinto obala.
• Qhubeka nokwelapha noma ukwelulekwa ukuze ubhekane nezinkinga eziwumsuka.
• Zinike isikhathi sokuphulukisa futhi wakhe kabusha ukwethembana kancane kancane.

Uma unquma ukuhamba

• Gxila ekwelapheni kwakho nasekuzinakekeleni.
• Thembela ohlelweni lwakho lokusekela ukuze uthole ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo.
• Cabangela ukwelashwa ukucubungula ukuhlukana nokukhaphela.

U-Anita uthi, “Ukwelashwa kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuthatha isikhathi nesineke. Ngakho-ke, thatha isinyathelo ngasinye ngejubane lakho futhi ube nomusa kuwe ngaso sonke isikhathi.” Khumbula, ufanelwe ukuba ku ubuhlobo obunempilo lapho uzizwa uhlonishwa futhi waziswa.

imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

“Isoka lami langikhohlisa.” Lokhu kuqaphela kungaba okudabukisayo, kodwa ukwazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma isoka lakho likukopela kungakunika amandla okulawula ukuphila kwakho nenhlalakahle yakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukhetha ukuhlala futhi ulungise izinkinga noma uqhubekele phambili, ukubeka kuqala impilo yakho yengqondo nokuzithanda kubalulekile. Khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa, futhi kunezinsiza nokusekelwa okutholakalayo ukukusiza kulesi sikhathi esinzima.

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