Kudinga isibindi esikhulu ukuze wamukele ubulili bakho. Lokhu ngikwazi ngoba kwangithatha iminyaka eminingana ukuthi ngivume kimina ukuthi yebo, ngikhangwa abafana kanye namantombazane. Amandla owesilisa angikhanga njenge-aura yabesifazane.
Uma uke wazibamba ngomcabango othi “Ngicabanga ukuthi ngiwubulili obubili”, qhubeka ufunda indaba yami ukuze uthole umbono wokuthi ungakwamukela futhi wamukele kanjani ubulili bakho.
Ingabe Ngithanda Ubulili Okubili Noma Ngididekile?
Okuqukethwe
Ngaso sonke isikhathi, u-Sushant wayeba ngowokuqala ukuphuma egunjini lehhotela. Wayevame ukuvuka kuqala futhi ngokuvamile abe nendiza yasekuseni.
Wacothoza ekamelweni, funa aphazamise ubuthongo basekuseni bomkakhe olele. Esho egqoka ebuka ubuso obuzolile, izindebe ezikhuluma lawo mazwi amnandi amhlanyise njalo.
Ngaphambi nje kokuba ahambe, wagijimisa iminwe yami ezinweleni zakhe ezimnyama ezikhazimulayo futhi wamphuca kancane esiphongweni, amamatheke kancane asho ubuthongo obuncane, aah! Inhliziyo yakhe yaba buhlungu. Wathula wacofa isithombe sokugcina waphuma.
“Sithandwa sami. Ngizokukhumbula kakhulu….kuze kube ngokuzayo!” Ekhuluma yedwa ekheshini.
Lowo kwakunguSush, uSushi, uSushant, umngane wami omkhulu, umngane wami wobuntwana, futhi manje ngiyisithandwa sami eminyakeni emibili edlule. Kungithathe isikhathi ukuphuma ekamelweni , kodwa yebo, ngithanda abantu abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile, futhi ngimthanda kakhulu umngane wami omkhulu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Wayengungqingili kodwa ejabule ngomshado nomkakhe!
Lapho Ngithola Ukuthandana Kwami Okubili
Eminyakeni engu-30, ngemva kwezintombi ezimbalwa futhi ekugcineni ngashada no-Neha, ngangivame ukuzizwa ngikhangwa kakhulu ngamadoda asemasha abukeka kahle. Ngesikhathi sohambo oluya eYurophu, ngaze ngazama nowesilisa osemncane osebenza ngocansi, futhi ngakuthanda.
Kodwa ngaphinde ngaluthanda ucansi nabesifazane kanye kanye. Njalo lapho ekhaya eMumbai, ngangilala nomkami cishe nsuku zonke. Bengikuthanda ukubuka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili obuhlukile nezothando, nokho ngangizizwa ngidonsa kanzima emadodeni njalo.
Angikwazanga ukutshela muntu, ngokuqinisekile hhayi umkami wendabuko, futhi icala laliyongibulala, ngakho ngahlangana nodokotela wengqondo engabuza kuye, “Ingabe ngingowobulili obubili noma ngididekile nje?”, futhi wangitshela ukuthi ukuthanda bobabili ubulili kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele.
Ngaphinde ngahlangana no-Sushant, eminyakeni emibili edlule ngemva kwegebe leminyaka engu-20, eDelhi embukisweni wezohwebo ayewuhambele njengomthwebuli wezithombe ochwepheshe bokudla, futhi mina, njenge-VP yomkhiqizo ohamba phambili wezinto ezisetshenziswayo. Sahlaliswa ehhotela elilodwa ngabahleli. Ngangineminyaka emithathu ngishadile; wabe esengashadile.
Konke sasikwenza ndawonye
Mina noSushant sakhula ndawonye endaweni eyodwa yedolobhana elincane eDehradun eduze kwasePaltan Bazar. Umndeni wakhe wawunesinye sezitolo ezinkulu zikaswidi lapho futhi umndeni wami wawunesitolo sendwangu esidala kunazo zonke. Yomibili imindeni yayisondelene kakhulu, futhi wonke umuntu wayengabangane nawo wonke umuntu.
Okuningi kokuqala kwethu, njengokungena esikoleni, ibhayisikili lokuqala, ipikinikhi yokuqala yesiteshi senzeke ndawonye. Nganginodadewethu abadala abathathu kanti uSushant wayeyingane engenamama emkhayeni omkhulu ohlangene. Umama wakhe washona emzala, ngakho sobabili sathola induduzo enkulu komunye nomunye.
Phakathi neminyaka yethu yobusha, sobabili sabelana ngazo zonke izikhathi zethu ezicindezelayo nezikhathi ezinamahloni zobulili obusha. Sasineminyaka engu-15 noma engu-16 lapho u-Sushant ebuza okokuqala ngqa, “Ingabe ngithanda ubulili obubili?” Futhi-ke, ngokuzithoba wathi, “Deepak, ngicabanga ukuthi ngiyakuthanda!”
Ngethuka, kangangoba ngingazi nokuthi ngithini, ngaziqhelelanisa naye isikhashana. Isikole samabanga aphezulu, izivivinyo zamabhodi, ukungena, ukufundiswa - kwakunezaba ezanele zokugcina ibanga leminyaka embalwa elandelayo.
Bengivele ngithandana nentombazane efunda esikoleni. Wayekwazi lokhu, kodwa wayelokhu ephindaphinda into efanayo noma nini lapho sisodwa ndawana thize. Ngokukhula kwami ngasedolobheni, ngamtshela ukuthi kufanele azitholele ukwelashwa; akuvamile. Ngaphatheka kabi ukusho lokhu kodwa ngangimncane futhi ngididekile.
Sabe sesihlangana futhi
Kwase kuthi ngemva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili, ngemva kokudakwa ebusuku ehhotela, sobabili saya ekamelweni lakhe futhi sehlisa okunye okumbalwa endaweni yokuphuzela utshwala. Wangitshela ngezithandwa zakhe ezahlukene nokuthi usenesiqiniseko sokuthi uyisitabane.
Ngemva komelaphi, uSushant uyena kuphela omunye umuntu engamtshela ngokulangazelela kwami ubulili amadoda. Sasidakiwe, sinophondo futhi sinomunyu. Ngokushesha izingubo zaphuma. Kwabesilisa abaseminyakeni yawo-30, sobabili sasinempilo futhi siyathandeka.
USushant wayenomzimba onemisipha owakheke kahle, futhi ngangisancikile futhi ngifanelekile. Kulowo mzuzu, ngabonga onkulunkulu abangenhla ukuthi nginobulili obubili. Ukungiqabula kwakhe kwakugcwele isifiso futhi kuwubuqhawe sengathi wayengeke anele ngami. Ngaze ngabuhalela lobu roughness obumnandi.
Umlingo wenyama wathatha; bekuwucansi olungcono kunawo wonke empilweni yami. Ngakusasa lapho sisadakiwe, sakhuluma ngemiphumela. Kwakusobala ukuthi nami ngangijabule emshadweni wami, kodwa ngase ngithola uthando olujulile nokulangazelela uSush kanye, kanyekanye.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela umngane wakhe ongumngqingili amsize ngayo ukuthi azamukele njengongqingili
Wathi akafuni ngenze lutho; sasikwazi ukuntshontshelana uthando olungako noma nini, kodwa wayengafuni umkakhe athole. Manje emadolobheni amaningi nezinhlelo zokuhamba, sihlangana njalo, endlini yakhe eDelhi nasemahhotela akwamanye amadolobha. Akekho ngisho nokucwayiza ijwabu leso, ngisho nomkami; ungumngane wami omkhulu ngaye ebuntwaneni.
Ucansi luhlala lungcono kunalokhu esinakho ebudlelwaneni bethu bobulili obuhlukile, kodwa uSush uyazi ukuthi ngithanda ukuba nomzimba noNeha, futhi ulungile ngakho. Kuze kube manje, kuhle kakhulu!
Ucingo lwami luyakhala, iSush ivuliwe. Unqunu osezingeni eliphezulu, ngendlela engimthanda ngayo.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Uma ukhangwa ngokocansi kubo bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane, nakanjani unobulili obubili.
Kuncike ohlotsheni lwakho lobuntu. Ungase ube nekhanda eliqinile noma elicashile, i-tomboyish noma owesifazane.
Uma ungowesifazane futhi ukhangwa kuphela abantu bobulili obufanayo, ungowesifazane othanda ubulili obufanayo. Kodwa uma uvulwa yibo bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane, ungumuntu othanda ubulili obubili.
Izithandani Ezingu-10 Zosaziwayo Bobulili Obufanayo (Izitabane).
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Hewu! Ukulandisa kuphusha ngempela imvilophu. Ithandwe indlela ebhalwe ngayo. Uthando kuyo yonke imibala yayo yothingo nemithunzi lukhuliswa ezindaweni eziyinqaba. Futhi ngiyakuthanda lokho. Mane uvumele UTHANDO LUBE. Futhi esihogweni ngezivumelwano zomphakathi kanye nezinkambiso ezicindezelayo.
Emphakathini one-claustrophobic othanda owethu noma yiluphi uhlobo lolunye ucansi luyanyanyiswa futhi luyazondwa.
Nokho lokhu kulandisa kuqinisekisa ukuthi ubulili bomuntu alandeli noma yimaphi amaphethini asethiwe noma okulindelwe ngokwenhlalo kwe-hetero-nomic okulindeleke kuphela ukuba abantu bobulili obuhlukile kube yinjwayelo.
Amandla engeziwe ezindabeni ezinjalo zolunye uthando nezocansi.