Izindlela Eziyi-11 Ezingenangqondo Zokungabanjwa Ukukopela

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Uma ubudlelwano benu bubhidlika futhi uzithola usucabanga ukuqhubeka neshende, ukwazi ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela kungakusiza ugweme leyo ngxoxo esabekayo yokuxabana. Lokho omunye wakho obalulekile akwaziyo akunakubalimaza, akunjalo?

Mhlawumbe usuvele wazitika, futhi manje ukhathazekile ngesivunguvungu esizoqhamuka uma umlingani wakho engathola. Kungumthombo wokukhathazeka okukhulu, uhlobo oluzokwenza ucasuke ngisho noma umlingani wakho ekubuza nje ukuthi “Kwenzenjani?” ngoba ulokhu ujija njalo.

Izinto zokuqala kuqala, zehlise umoya. Yize ungeke uqiniseke ukuthi umlingani wakho akasoze akuthola, ungasondela kakhulu ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi okwenze ebumnyameni akusoze kwavela. Ake sibheke ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela.

Ngaphambi kokuthi Uthole Ukuthi Ungabanjwa Kanjani Ukukopela, Hlola Ubudlelwano Bakho

Okuqukethwe

Uma ungakamkhohlisi umlingani wakho, kungase kukusize ukuthi ucabange kabusha ukuthi kungani ufisa ukuhamba ngale ndlela. Ezimweni eziningi, ukukopela kuwumsebenzi ongasizi muntu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi kungase kubangele ngisho nokuhlala njalo izindaba zokuthembela kumlingani wakho ngoba bazothola kunzima ukuba sengozini nawe noma yimuphi ozakwethu wesikhathi esizayo ngemuva kokukhohliswa.

Ngokuvumelana ne izifundo, ukungathembeki kungenye yezimbangela ezihamba phambili zesehlukaniso, okubonisa ukuthi akuyona impendulo lapho uzizwa “uvaleleke” noma “uncishwa umoya” ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ezimweni eziningi, izinto ezithinta ubuhlobo benu zingalungiswa ngokukhulumisana okunempilo noma ngisho nokwelashwa kwabashadile.

Ukuthatha isinyathelo esinzima kangaka esingase siqede ubudlelwano bakho obuyinhloko akufanelekile, ikakhulukazi njengoba ungakwazi ukuqeda ubuhlobo bakho obuyinhloko ngaphambi kokuthola ozakwethu abasha. Obunye ububi bokukopela buhlanganisa ukulahlekelwa inhlonipho yabangane bakho nomndeni wakho uma umphakathi ubungathola ngokungafanele kwakho.

Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela, indlela engcono kakhulu ukuthi ungakohli nhlobo. Njengoba sekushiwo lokho, isinqumo ngesakho ekugcineni. Uma ufisa ukuqhubeka nakho, qiniseka ukuthi ugcina amathiphu alandelayo engqondweni.

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“Nakuba ngikweluleka ngokumelene nakho, kuyenzeka ngempela ukukopela isoka/intombi yakho kodwa ungabanjwa. ebuntwaneni isithandwa isimo nomlingani wabo, futhi sebendawonye cishe iminyaka eyishumi nesigamu manje.

"Wayevame ukukhononda ngempilo yakhe yocansi engathandeki, futhi ekugcineni waqala ukuzumeka ngenkathi esothandweni. Imfihlo yakhe yokungabanjwa? Engabonisi ukuzisola futhi eke waba nezitendi zobusuku obubodwa kuphela, hhayi izindaba," a Umsebenzisi we-Reddit wasitshela.

Ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela akuyona into abantu abacabanga ngayo, futhi yingakho behluleka ukumboza amathrekhi abo. Manje njengoba usuzithole ufunda lesi sihloko, ake sibheke konke okudingeka ukukhumbule:

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1. Sebenzisa ifoni ehlukile

Kungenzeka yini ukukopela futhi ungabanjwa? Uma uqaphele ngokwanele ukuze uthole ifoni ehluke ngokuphelele, kungase kube njalo. Cha, asifuni ukukwenza uzizwe sengathi ubalekela i-FBI, futhi cha, asikwenzi ngokweqile ngokukucela ukuthi usebenzise ifoni ehlukile.

Ngokombiko othile Ucwaningo, owesifazane oyedwa kwabane noyedwa kwabahlanu bavumile ukuthi bacuphe ocingweni lomlingani wabo. Ngokusho ehlukile Ucwaningo, indlela ejwayeleke kakhulu yokuthi umlingani okhohlisayo abanjwe lapho umlingani wakhe efunda imiyalezo yakhe.

Thenga enye ifoni, igcine iyimfihlo noma ibize ngefoni yasemsebenzini futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uyayivala. Uma ungenangqondo endleleni yakho futhi uhambe izinhlelo zokuphola efakwe ocingweni lwakho lokuqala, izinsuku zakho zokungathembeki zizophela ngaphambi kokuthi ziqale.

bhebha isoka lakho ungabanjwa — Ukuthola ifoni yokushisa kuyadingeka

2. Lawula icala lomkhohlisi

Kuzwakala sengathi unikezwe lapho usunqume ukuthi uzokopela, akunjalo? Kodwa lapho umuzwa wecala nokukhathazeka kuqala ukugcwala, uyabona ukuthi akuyona into elula ukubhekana nayo. Ngokusho kuka-a Ucwaningo kubantu abavuma ukungathembeki kwabo kwabathandana nabo, cishe u-47% uthe bakwenza lokhu ngenxa yecala.

A Umsebenzisi we-Reddit usitshele ukuthi ukungakwazi ukulawula icala kungenye yezindlela ezivame ukubanjwa abakopela. “Bonke abangani bami abake babanjwa beqola bakwenza lokhu ngoba sebeqala ukuthenga izipho eziwubukhazikhazi zomlingani wabo futhi bashintsha kakhulu ukuziphatha kwabo, lokho kwaholela ekusoleni nasekuvumeni ukuthi unecala.

“Angizange ngikuhlele, kodwa lapho ngigcina ngokukopela umlingani wami, ngenza isiqiniseko sokuthi ngiyalilawula icala enganginalo.

Yenza noma yini ongase uyenze, kodwa qiniseka ukuthi awugcini ngokubanjiswa icala lomkhohlisi. Kungenye yezindlela ezijwayeleke kakhulu ukuthi abakhwabanisi babanjwe, futhi kungenye yezinto ezilula kakhulu okufanele uzigweme.

3. Susa wonke ama-sexcapades akho

Ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela ngempela kuvele kugxile ekutheni uqaphe kangakanani ngeziphambeko zakho. Uma usebenzisa ifoni yakho eyinhloko ukuthola indaba yakho elandelayo, qiniseka ukuthi uhlanganisa wonke amathrekhi akho. Iba nokhiye ocingweni lwakho, bese ususa noma yibuphi ubufakazi bezindlela zakho zokukopela.

Lokho kufaka ama-imeyili, imibhalo, izingodo zezingcingo noma izinhlelo zokusebenza ezifakiwe - amayadi ayisishiyagalolunye wonke. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungaliqhatha kanjani isoka lakho kodwa lingabanjwa, kungukuthi ungalitholi lutho kwasekuqaleni.

4. Fihla bonke ubufakazi obuphathekayo

Njengoba ukhula ukuzethemba ngezindaba zakho, ungase uzithole usukhohlwa ukuvala leyo hickey oyitholile. Iphutha lemfundamakhwela. Okokuqala, qiniseka ukuthi ubeka umthetho wokungabi nama-hickey nesithandwa sakho. Okulandelayo, geza noma yiziphi izingubo okungenzeka ukuthi zisenephunga eliqhubekayo kuzo, futhi uhlanze noma imaphi amabala e-lipstick.

Ngokunjalo, uma ube namamaki noma ulimele ngesikhathi socansi, beka izaba ezanele ngabo. Kungenzeka yini ukukopela futhi ungabanjwa? Kuhle kakhulu, kodwa kufanele ube nobuciko kancane lapho uchaza ukuthi kungani unuka njenge-lavender kuyilapho ungakaze usebenzise amakha alolu hlobo empilweni yakho.

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5. Ungatsheli MUNTU ngokungathembeki kwakho

Abangani bakho abakhulu, osebenza nabo, abangani be-inthanethi, umndeni oseduze, abantu ongabazi noma ubani oseduze nawe akufanele abe nombono ngendaba yakho. ucansi ngaphandle komshado. Uma isixuku sabantu sazi ngakho, unenqwaba yezinto ezixegayo okufanele uzilungise. Kugcine phakathi kwakho nesithandwa sakho esiyimfihlo, futhi okungcono kakhulu, ungamniki lowo muntu ulwazi lomuntu siqu oluningi ngawe nawe.

Siyazi, kuzwakala sengathi wenza isivumelwano esingekho emthethweni emhlabeni wonke futhi sikucela ukuthi ugqoke izigxivizo zeminwe zomgunyathi noma okuthile. Sithembe, lapho uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela, awusoze waqaphela kakhulu. Abangane bahlukumeza abangani kaningi kunokuba wazi.

Ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela i-infographic — Ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela

6. Ungaxhumani nanoma ubani oseduze kwakho

Lokho kusho ukuthi azikho izindaba emsebenzini nanoma ubani okungenzeka ukuthi owakwakho uyazi. "Umthetho wesithupha, kuphela futhi ukukopela kuphela nabantu abakude nendawo ohlala kuyo, futhi umlingani wakho akufanele abe nombono wokuthi ukhona," kusikisela Umsebenzisi we-Reddit.

UPaula, oneminyaka engu-34 ubudala, othengisa utshwala, uchaza ukuthi ukungathembeki kwakhe kwawubhidliza kanjani umshado wakhe ngoba wayengakwazi ukukufihla. “Umsebenzi wami unginikeza amathuba amaningi isikhathi esincane kumnandi. Ngangikwazi ukukopela umyeni wami nozakwethu ngaphandle kokuba athole umkhondo waze wanquma ukuvela kwelinye lamaphathi ezisebenzi.

“Umuntu engangijwayele ukujola naye emsebenzini wangena ngemuva kwehora umyeni wami wangena wangiqabula wayengazi nokuthi ngishadile. esetshenziswa kuya bhebha indoda yami ngoba umshado wethu awuzange uhlale isikhathi eside ngemva kwalokho.”

7. Ungakhulumisani nesithandwa sakho esiyimfihlo ngaso sonke isikhathi

Ngokombiko othile i-poll kubasebenzisi abangu-11,000 bengosi yokuqomisana ngaphandle komshado, cishe u-64% wabantu bathumelela izithandwa zabo imiyalezo yocansi ngenkathi abashade nabo besegumbini elilodwa nabo. Siyazi ukuthi kuyajabulisa, kodwa ungakwenzi lokho uma ukubanjwa kungekho ohlwini lwakho “lokwenza”.

Njengoba sesishilo, ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela kuncike kakhulu ekutheni uqaphe kangakanani ngakho. Khuluma nesithandwa sakho esiyimfihlo kuphela uma ungekho eduze nozakwenu, noma ngezinye iziteshi zokuxhumana njengama-imeyili.

8. Yenza ucansi oluphephile

Ngokombiko othile Ucwaningo kubantu abavuma ukuthi bayakopela, cishe u-11% wenze lokho ngoba besaba ukuthi bangase babe ne-STD. Ungavumeli injabulo yakho konke ikulawule, qiniseka ukuthi usasebenzisa ingqondo yakho futhi wenza ucansi oluphephile.

Ukuqubuka okungathandeki kungase kube ukusho okwanele. Okubi nakakhulu, usengozini yokuthelela umlingani wakho oyinhloko. Ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi uya ocansini oluphephile, ungagwema ukukhulelwa okungafunwa kanye nama-STD.

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9. Ungashiyi umkhondo wezezimali

Uyazibuza ukuthi ungayikhohlisa kanjani intombi yakho (noma isoka) futhi ubalekele? Njengoba nje sibona kuwo wonke lawo mafilimu ezidakamizwa, qiniseka ukuthi ukhokhela yonke into ngokheshi. “Kungani isitatimende sebhange lakho sithi ungene kuleli hhotela ngobusuku othi usendaweni yomfowenu?”

Umbuzo olula onjengalowo ungaba ngokwanele ukukuthumezela, ukushiye ukwazi ukuthi wenze kanjani lungisa ubudlelwano ngemva kokukopela. Amahhotela abizayo, izipho ezibizayo, nanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lokuthenga kufanele lwenziwe ngezindlela ezingashiyi mkhondo.

10. Ungawushayi indiva umlando wakho wokuphequlula

Endaweni ethile ezansi kolayini, uzoshiya ifoni yakho noma ikhompuyutha ephathekayo ingagadiwe futhi maningi amathuba okuthi umlingani wakho adlule kukho. Ukulungiselela umcimbi onjalo, qiniseka ukuthi usuwusulile umlando wakho wokuphequlula.

Nokho, qiniseka ukuthi awukususi konke. Lokho kumemeza ngokuthi ufihla okuthile, futhi akekho oke asuse wonke umlando wakhe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Vele ulahle imisebenzi engase iphakamise ukungathembeki, futhi yileyo ndlela yokungabanjwa ukukopela.

11. Phatha izinsolo zomlingani wakho ngokucophelela

U-Andrew, umfundi waseWisconsin uthi: “Uma ufuna ukuthola ukuthi ungayikhohlisa kanjani intombi yakho futhi ungakunaki, qiniseka ukuthi awukushalazeli noma uhlekise ukusola kwabo. “Intombi yami yakhuluma isola ukuthi ngiyajola, ngenza isiqiniseko sokuthi angiphenduli ngendlela engafanele.

“Esikhundleni sokuba ngimhleke noma ngimthukuthelele, ngaqinisekisa ukucasuka kwakhe futhi ngambuza ukuthi kungani ezizwa ngaleyo ndlela. axolise ngobuqotho. Kanjalo nje akazange aphinde asole lutho.”

Ukungqubuzana kwalolu hlobo kungenzeka kusemakhadini nakuwe, futhi ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nakho kungenza noma kuphule yonke into. Imfihlo yokuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela ukuthengisa amanga ngendlela ekholisayo ngaphandle kokungingiza ngemininingwane.

Noma manje usuyazi ukuthi ungabanjwa kanjani ukukopela, sithemba ukuthi awugcini ngokuncika kulezi zindlela ngekusasa elibonakalayo. Ukwethembeka nokukhulumisana yikhona okuzokukhulula, futhi akekho ofanelwe ukukhohliswa. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, sithemba ukuthi lawa macebiso azokusiza ukuthi ugcine izinto ngaphansi kweso.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Kungenzeka yini ukukopela ungabanjwa?

Yebo, uma uvala amathrekhi akho ngendlela efanele, kungenzeka ukukopela futhi ungabanjwa. Gcina ucingo olushisayo kukho konke ukuxhumana okuhlobene nokungathembeki futhi uqiniseke ukuthi ufihla bonke ubufakazi obuphathekayo futhi, okungenani.

2. Ungakwazi yini ukugcina ukukopela imfihlo?

Ngokwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi awukhohlisi nomuntu osondelene nawe nomlingani wakho futhi ube phezu kwazo zonke iziphetho ezixekethile, ungagcina ukukopela imfihlo. Kuzodinga ukunakwa futhi kungase kubangele ukukhathazeka okuncane - kodwa lelo inani okufanele ulikhokhe.

3. Kukangaki abakopela bengabanjwa?

Ngokuvumelana ne I-DailyMail, u-95% wabesifazane kanye no-83% wabesilisa kubantu okuxoxwa nabo bake bakopela abathandana nabo kodwa abakaze batholakale. Uma usuthathe zonke izinyathelo ezifanele, kuyenzeka ukuthi ufihle ukungathembeki kwakho kumlingani wakho ngempumelelo enkulu.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.