Ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele ukwenza ubuhlobo buhlale. Naphezu kokuboshwa uthando olujulile, abalingani ababili bangaphenduka ubuthi komunye nomunye uma behluleka ukuhlakulela inhlonipho, ukwethembana, ukuqondana nokuthembela komunye nomunye okunempilo. Manje, ungase ulingeke ukuba usilahle njengeqembu labagxeki abangawazi amandla othando lwangempela. Phela, akazange yini uJohn Lennon, inganekwane uqobo, asitshele ukuthi 'Okudingayo uthando'.
Hhayi-ke, sizwe. ULennon naye wayengumyeni ohlukumezayo, owashaya amakhosikazi akhe womabili futhi walahla nengane yakhe. Eminyakeni engamashumi amathathu nanhlanu kamuva, u-Trent Reznor we-Nine Inch Nails wabhala ingoma ethi 'Uthando alwanele'. Ushade nowesifazane oyedwa futhi unezingane ezimbili naye. Yize aziwa ngokudlala kwakhe esiteji okushaqisayo, wayikhansela yonke i-albhamu kanye nalo lonke uhambo lwakhe phakathi novalo lwe-COVID-19 lokuhlala ekhaya futhi abe nomndeni wakhe.
Isizathu sokusho le mibono emibili ephikisana kakhulu ngothando ukuthi enye yala madoda amabili inokuqonda okucacile nokuyiqiniso ngothando. Futhi enye inhloso yothando njengekhambi lazo zonke izinkinga zakhe. Ngokufanayo, kuwo wonke amasiko emhlabeni wonke, iningi lethu libonisa uthando.
NjengoLennon, silucabangela ngokweqile uthando futhi singazinaki izimiso ezibalulekile ezinomthelela ekwakheni ubuhlobo obunempilo. Ngakho-ke, ubudlelwano bethu bukhokha inani elikhulu. Kodwa uma ucabanga njengoReznor, uyabona ukuthi 'uthando alwanele', hhayi njalo. Uthando lungase luhlanganise abantu ababili kodwa akwanele ukusekela isibopho eside, esihlala njalo phakathi kwabo.
Uma ngezinye izikhathi uthando lungenele futhi umgwaqo uba nzima, udinga ukuhamba ukuze uzivikele. Ndawonye, ake sihlole izimo ezimbalwa ezinjalo lapho uthando lulodwa lungesona isizathu esanele sokuhlala ndawonye.
Kusho Ukuthini Uma Uthando Lunganele?
Okuqukethwe
Sonke siyazibuza, ingabe uthando lwanele ebudlelwaneni? Impendulo elula ithi Cha! Abantu bathi kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele ngoba kaningi lunemibandela. Njengazo zonke ezinye izinto empilweni, uthando luza nemibandela. Lapho izimo ezikhuthaza uthando zishintsha, kungase kungabe kusanele ukugcina abantu ababili bendawonye. Yingakho ngezinye izikhathi uthando lungenele futhi umgwaqo uba nzima.
Ucwaningo olwenziwe nguRobert Sternberg luchaza ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele ngoba aluyona into eyodwa. Ingaphezu kwenhlanganisela yezinye izakhi ezihlukahlukene. Uma uhlukanisa iTheory kaRobert’s Triangular of Love, uzoqonda ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando aluyona incazelo eyanele ngobuqotho beqiniso.
Umqondo wokuthi uhlobo lothando lwe-sweep-you-off-your-feet yikho konke okudingayo ukuze uthole ujabule njalo nabanye usunikezwe thina isikhathi eside kakhulu ngezinganekwane, amamuvi nesiko le-pop. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abaningi bethu baye bawufaka ngaphakathi lo mbono futhi babeka amathemba angenangqondo mayelana nokuthi uthando luhloselwe ukusenzela ini. Kodwa-ke, uthando aluwona umuthi owumlingo owake washwabadela uyokuhambisa ezweni elimangalisayo lenjabulo nobunye baphakade.
Uma sigxila emicabangweni enjalo, sizibeka engcupheni yokonakalisa ubudlelwano bethu . Ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo buhilela okungaphezu nje kothando olujabulisayo. Budinga ukuthi ukhethe umuntu ofanayo, amaqhubu nakho konke, usuku nosuku, futhi nihlale ndawonye ebunzimeni nasebubini. Budinga nokuthi ushintshe incazelo yakho yokuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba sothandweni futhi uthole izindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana nomuntu omthandayo.
Ubude nobufushane bothando ngezinye izikhathi akwanele ukuthi nakuba lo mzwelo ungase ube ingxenye ebalulekile ye-equation yobudlelwane obujabulisayo, useyingxenye nje hhayi yonke ifomula.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-9 Zokuntuleka Kozwelo Ebudlelwaneni Nezindlela Eziyi-6 Zokubhekana Nakho
Izizathu Eziyi-7 Okufanele Uhlukane Ngoba Kwesinye isikhathi Uthando Alwanele
Ingabe uthando lwanele ebudlelwaneni? Uma uke wazithola ubuza lo mbuzo, maningi amathuba okuthi ube nezikhathi zokungabaza mayelana nokuthi unakho yini okudingekayo yakha ubudlelwano obuqinile nomunye wakho obalulekile.
Lokhu kungabaza okuphazamisayo kungase kusabisa ngoba zimbalwa izinto ezibuhlungu njengokusuka kumuntu omthandayo. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele. Ngalo lonke uthando ongase ube nalo enhliziyweni yakho ngomlingani wakho, usengagcina usufana nesikhonkwane esiyisikwele emgodini oyindilinga.
Uma ningafanelani kahle, azikho izifiso zokufisa noma imibono yothando ezoshintsha lokho. Uma ngezinye izikhathi uthando lungenele futhi umgwaqo uba nzima, kungcono uhambe ujike iqabunga elisha. Nazi izimo ezinje eziyi-7 lapho udinga ukwamukela ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele futhi ucabange kabusha ikusasa lakho:
1. Ufuna izinto ezahlukene
Kungenzeka ukuthi wawujabule ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, kodwa ngemva kweminyaka embalwa, uyakhukhuleka. Izinto eziza kuqala kuwe, izinhloso zakho kanye nombono wezwe kungase kushintshe, kukushiye uzibuza, "Ingabe uthando lwanele ebudlelwaneni?" Isibonelo, ungase ufune ukushada futhi uzinze kodwa umlingani wakho angase afune ukuya phesheya ukuze uthole amathuba angcono omsebenzi. Noma mhlawumbe, omunye wenu ufuna izingane kanti omunye akaziboni njengomzali. Esimeni esinjalo, nokho kinina onephutha, wukuthi nje ikusasa ozicabangela lona alihambisani.
Uma ningakwazi ukunikezana lokho enikudingayo ebudlelwaneni futhi niqaphela ukuthi izifiso ngeke zishintshe, khona-ke kufanele nihlukane. Kuvuthiwe kakhulu ukuqaphela nokuvuma ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele futhi umgwaqo uba nzima bese niqhubeka nempilo yenu. Ukuhlukana nomuntu omthandayo nomthandayo kungaba yinto embi kakhulu, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kuyinto efanele ukuyenza.
2. Ibanga likhulu kakhulu
Ake sithi ungase uhlangane nesithandwa sakho somphefumulo ohambweni futhi uthando luqhakaze ngokugcwele. Nishayekile, anikwazi ukwanelisana futhi nichithe sonke isikhathi ndawonye. Bese, ama-reality hits. Nobabili nihlala ezindaweni ezihlukene zomhlaba futhi akekho osesimweni sokufuduka.
Nizama ukwenza yonke into ekude ngoba nithandana kakhulu kodwa nilokhu nilangazelelana, nicabangana ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lapho ibanga likwenza kungenzeki ukuqinisa ukuzibophezela nokuyisa ubuhlobo ezingeni elilandelayo, ungase ubone ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando kuphela alwanele.
Kungenzeka ukuthi uke wezwa kubantu ukuthi ibanga elide lingasebenza. Nokho, kungenzeka kodwa akulona elawo wonke umuntu. Uma ubuhlobo bebanga elide bukushiya uzizwa unesizungu futhi ukhathele, khona-ke abufanele. Ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele futhi umgwaqo uba nzima futhi udinga ukuhlukana nomuntu omthandayo, ikakhulukazi uma kungekho okunye okubonakalayo.
3. Abakuniki ukwesekwa okudingayo
Ukwakha ubuhlobo obunempilo, ngezinye izikhathi uthando kuphela alwanele, udinga nomlingani wakho ukuthi akusekele. Ukuba nomuntu oweseka amaphupho akho, izifiso, izinqumo futhi okhona lapho uzidinga kakhulu kubaluleke kakhulu kunohlobo lomjaho owenzayo wenhliziyo yakho.
Umlingani wakho angase akuthande ngokujulile, akonakalise futhi akutotose ngezipho kodwa lokho kufana nokuba yize ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uma engakwazi ukukhombisa ukukweseka, ngendlela ofisa ngayo. Uma uzama ukuthatha izwe, umphathi wakho, ozakwenu noma abasekhweni lakho, kungase kukuqede amandla namandla akho. Ukuba nozakwethu omesekayo kuzokwenza lowo mzamo ube nenzuzo futhi uhambe kalula. Inani lokuba nalowo muntu oyedwa ekhoneni lakho alikwazi ukweqiwa.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu Eziyi-12 Ezifanele Zokuqeda Ubudlelwano – Kungakhathaliseki Ukuthi Umhlaba Uthini
4. Lapho umlingani wakho elawula imizwa
Ingabe uthando lwanele ebudlelwaneni? Nokho, ngokuqinisekile akusho ukuthi uma uthandana kusho ukukhohlisana ngokomzwelo . Impela, akuyona into engavamile ukuthi abantu abasebudlelwaneni baqale ukuthonya imicabango, ukuziphatha kanye nemikhuba yomunye nomunye. Kodwa-ke, esilinganisweni esinempilo nesakhayo, leli thonya lingokwemvelo futhi aliphoqelelwa, lihambisana futhi alinahlangothi olulodwa.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuxhaphaza imizwelo kuyithuluzi elihlukumezayo lokulawula imicabango yomuntu, izifiso, futhi ekugcineni, nokuphila kwakhe. Uma kuyilokho okuthola egameni lothando, yisikhathi sokwamukela ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele futhi ufanelwe okungcono.
Uma unomlingani oshintshashintshayo ekutsheleni ukuthi 'ngeke akwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakho' kuya 'kuyiphutha lakho', sekuyisikhathi sokuqoqa. Uzakwethu olawulayo angehlisa ukuzethemba kwakho futhi akwenze uthembele kuye. Uzakwethu osebenzisa amasu okukhohlisa kwengqondo udala ngamabomu ukungalingani kwamandla. Baxhaphaza isisulu, ukuze bakwazi ukubalawula ukuze bafeze i-ajenda yabo. Kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele incazelo ayicaci kahle kunalokho.
5. Umlingani wakho akajabule
Ubuhlobo obungenayo injabulo abukwazi ukuba nempilo futhi bunempilo. Le njabulo kumele ibe munye. Kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuthi ujabulile ebudlelwaneni kodwa umlingani wakho angase angajabuli. Ngeshwa, injabulo ayithelelani ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Sonke sinezincazelo ezahlukene zokuthi kusho ukuthini ukujabula. Izizathu zokungajabuli ebudlelwaneni zingase zihluke kusukela ezidingweni ezingakafezwa kuya kokulindelwe okuhlukile kanye nezifiso ezihlukene. Ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obunjalo kungasho ukwamukela into engagculisi, hhayi nje kumlingani ongajabuli kodwa nakuwe. Phela, umuntu ongajabuli akanakwenza ubuhlobo bube mnandi.
Uma kufika kulokho, kungcono ukuba nihlukane. Futhi emva kwakho konke, uma umthanda ngempela umlingani wakho, ungafuna ukuthi ajabule. Abantu abahlakaniphile nabahlakaniphile abanqeni ukwamukela ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando alwanele, baphethe ngokuthi lokhu kuhle njengoba kwenzeka futhi bahlukane ngaphambi kokuba bagcine sebedabukisana kakhulu.
6. Ukuntula ukuhambisana
Ukuthi uthandana nomuntu akusho ukuthi ungumuntu ofanelekayo kuwe. Kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele okusho ukuthi uthando lunganele ukuhlanganisa abantu ababili kodwa lungabathwali ohambweni lwempilo. Uthando luyinqubo engokomzwelo, ukuhambisana kuyinto enengqondo. Zombili ziyadingeka ngesilinganiso esilinganayo ukuze kwakhiwe ubudlelwano obulinganayo.
Uma njengombhangqwana nina bantu ababili ningahlangani, khona-ke akukho uthando olungakulungisa. Uma wena nomlingani wakho nihlukile njengoshoki noshizi, nizoyithola kanjani indawo efanayo yokwakha impilo eniyihlanganyelayo? I-Chemistry ingaba kuhle kakhulu ukwenza lezo zinhlansi ziqhume, kodwa ukuhambisana ebuhlotsheni okuphenduka ilangabi elivuthayo kancane kancane elingacimi.
Uma ungakutholi lokho kumuntu, kuhle ukwamukele ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando kuphela alwanele futhi nihlukane kunokuba nihlale ndawonye ebudlelwaneni obungasebenzi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Asikwazanga Ukuqeda Ubudlelwano Bethu Futhi Asiboni Ikusasa Ndawonye…
7. Abantu obathandayo abakwamukeli
Uma usothandweni, usendaweni ye-la-la enothingo nokukhanya kwelanga. Uvame ukungazinaki zonke izici ezimbi zomlingani wakho futhi ushaye indiva wonke amafulegi abomvu akutshela ukuthi uyeke ufile emathrekhi akho. Kodwa-ke, labo abasondelene nawe - abangani bakho nomndeni - bangabona lawa mafulegi abomvu kudala ngaphambi kokuthi uwabone.
Lapho abangani bakho nomndeni bengakuvumeli ubudlelwano bakho, udinga ukukucabangela. Bangase babe nokukhathazeka okufanele futhi babone izinto ongakwazi ukuzenza. Esimeni esinjalo, kungcono ukwamukela ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uthando kuphela alwanele futhi nihlukane kunokuqhubeka nobuhlobo obungase bungabi nakusasa nhlobo.
Kwesinye isikhathi uthando alwanele futhi indlela iba nzima kubashadikazi abangafanelani. Ungakhukhulwa ekugijimeni kwemizwa kokuqala. Yingakho kuyaye kuthiwe ukujaha ubudlelwano akupheli kahle. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi uthatha izinto kancane, hlola amanzi, ubone ukuthi ubudlelwano buqhubeka kanjani ngale kwesigaba se-honeymoon ngaphambi kokuhlela ikusasa nomuntu. Ngisho noma usuhlale nomuntu isikhathi eside futhi uqala ukubona ngezinye izikhathi uthando kuphela alwanele ukukuthwala, khumbula ukuthi akukephuzi kakhulu ukubuyisela injabulo yakho.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
