Thanda Umshado ENdiya: Izizathu Eziyi-9 Ezenza Uphumelele

Kusukela kuHeer noRanjha kuya kuLaila noMajnu, izindaba zothando ziye zaba nesikhathi esinzima kule ngxenye yomhlaba futhi zisaqhubeka zenza kanjalo. Nakuba izinto zishintsha, kuningi okusamele kwenziwe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi, uma uzibuza ukuthi ungaba nomshado ophumelelayo wothando eNdiya, impendulo inguyebo.  

Izinto zihlukile e-India uma kuqhathaniswa naseNtshonalanga, lapho ukuzimela kokukhetha umlingani wakho kwatholwa khona ngaphambili. Umbhali odumile waseMelika uMaya Angelou uthe, “Uthando aluziboni izithiyo. Noma kunjalo, okuphambene kwakuyiqiniso ngemishado yothando eNdiya.

Ukuthi umshado wothando muhle noma cha, ngabanye, kungaba umbuzo ocatshangelwayo kunoma yiliphi izwe. Kodwa, uma ufuna ukubheka sonke isithombe somshado wothando eNdiya ngokumelene nomshado ohleliwe futhi uqhathanise amanani abo empumelelo, kufanele sihlaziye kancane futhi singene kuleyo mininingwane yobudeveli. Ungakhathazeki; sizozama ukuyigcina kwezothando.

Umshado Ohleliwe vs Umshado Wothando ENdiya: Ukuhlaziywa

Ukuze siqonde ukuthi umshado wothando ophumelelayo eNdiya ubukeka kanjani noma ukuthi kungani imishado yothando ihluleka eNdiya, sidinga ukuqonda izinto ezimbalwa. I-India ingenye yezinga eliphansi kakhulu lesehlukaniso emhlabeni . Ungacabanga ukuthi lokhu kusho ukuthi abantu abaningi bayajabula ngezindlela zendabuko zokuba nomshado ohleliwe, kodwa ngeshwa, lokho akulona iqiniso ngempela.

Amanani ezehlukaniso aphansi emadolobheni kunasemadolobheni, okusho ukuthi okugcina imishado eminingi ehleliwe kude nesehlukaniso ikakhulukazi ukuntuleka kolwazi noma ukufinyelela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amazinga ezehlukaniso eNdiya, yize ephansi, ayakhuphuka. Lokhu kusho ukuthi abantu bayaqonda ukuthi kungcono ukuphuma emshadweni omubi kunokuba ube kuwo bese bethatha leyo nketho. Nokho, abantu bayaqaphela lokho emhlabeni wonke, bebheka amazinga ezehlukaniso omhlaba wonke akhuphukayo.

Uma kukhulunywa ngezinguquko kwezenhlalo kanye nekhono labantu lokukhetha ukuthi bazochitha nobani izimpilo zabo, muningi umsebenzi osasele. Umshado wothando eNdiya uncike kakhulu elungelweni lomuntu kanye nenhloko-dolobha yezenhlalo. Abantu basezindaweni zasemaphandleni nasezifundeni zendabuko basenakho ukuzimela ngokuphelele ukukhetha ozakwethu.

Emphakathini waseNdiya, labo abakhetha umshado wothando bahlulelwa ngokuthi abashukunyiswa uthando, kodwa ngokuthatha izinqumo njengengane kanye nendlela yokusheshisa yokushada. Indida ilahleka kubameli bemishado ehleliwe, abavame ukuphothula imishado ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa beqomile.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, uhlelo lomshado ohleliwe seluhlale lukhona eNdiya, futhi ukwenza okuphambene nomkhuba, ikakhulukazi ngesinqumo esikhulu njengalesi, ngokuvamile akuyona into elula ukuyenza. Ngenxa yalokho, imishado yothando eNdiya yahlushwa idumela elibi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthando noma ubudlelwano obuhleliwe, obuhlala isikhathi eside busathandwa eNdiya, njengoba abantu abangaphezu kuka -60% bevuma ukuthi bayakholelwa komunye.

Kamuva nje, inkulumo ayidabuki futhi ithule ivuna umshado wothando eNdiya. Kuphinde kube ukumelwa kwezinga lokuphumelela komshado wothando eNdiya. Ushintsho luyinto yakamuva kakhulu, futhi mhlawumbe ukuqaliswa kwemibono emisha nendlela entsha yokucabanga kufanele kunikezwe udumo.

Ushintsho lwakamuva ekuqondeni lubonakala kangcono ngezinombolo. Ocwaningweni olwenziwe yi -Statista ngo-2012, abantu abangafika ku-74% abaphendulile kulo lonke elaseNdiya bathi bakhetha imishado ehleliwe. Kodwa-ke, ocwaningweni olwenziwe phakathi kwabantu abaneminyaka eyi-1900 ngo-2020 , abesifazane abangu-21.9% kuphela kanye nabesilisa abangu-32.5% abaphendulile bathi bakhetha imishado ehleliwe.

Pho yini eyenza umshado wothando ube muhle futhi uqine? Ihlukile emishadweni ehleliwe, izinga lokuphumelela komshado wothando eNdiya lincike ezintweni eziningi. Ake sibheke izinto ezimbalwa ezigqamayo ezivuna imishado yothando.

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Izizathu eziyi-9 zokuthi kungani uthando lomshado eNdiya luphumelele

Eqinisweni, umbuzo wokuthi umshado wothando muhle noma cha awubalulekile kangako. Umshado wothando eNdiya ubonakala ukhula, futhi isimo sengqondo esishintshayo sabantu mayelana nendlela abagcina beshadile ngayo sincike ezicini eziningi zezenhlalo nezomuntu siqu.

Akunakuphikwa ukuthi ikhono lokuthandana ngaphambi kokubopha ifindo, empeleni, likhulula abantu. Izindawo zasemadolobheni ziyalwela njengoba abantu abangaphezu kwamaphesenti angamashumi ayisithupha abafundile nabasebenzayo besizukulwane seminyaka eyinkulungwane nesizukulwane se-Z beshesha ukuya emshadweni wothando futhi begwema imiqondo yakudala yomshado ohleliwe.

Imishado yothando eNdiya iya ngokuya ithandwa naphezu kwezinselele ebhekene nazo ngenxa yezindinganiso zendabuko kanye nezingcindezi zomphakathi. ENdiya, ngokusho kweNkantolo Ephakeme yaseBombay , imishado yothando eminingi iphela ngesehlukaniso kunemishado ehleliwe. Kodwa lokho kungabangelwa izici eziningi zamasiko nezenhlalo.

Njengoba iphesenti lemishado yothando eNdiya lilokhu likhula, kanjalo nengqondo enempilo mayelana nendlela. Namuhla, intsha eningi ngisho nabantu abavuthiwe bahlola uthando ngendlela yabo, naphezu kokujeziswa nezingcindezi ezibekwa uthando umphakathi wanamuhla.

Ukuthi kungani imishado yothando ingaphumeleli eNdiya akuncikile kuphela ekutheni umbhangqwana ukuphi ngisho nendlela abahlangane ngayo. Izizathu zokuwohloka komshado ziningi kakhulu ukuba siziveze. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu bahlangana kanjani, isisekelo sokwethembana, inhlonipho, ukukhulumisana nothando siyadingeka ngokuphelele. Uma ubheka nxazonke futhi uhlola umshado ophumelelayo wothando eNdiya, uzothola inhlanganisela enhle yesimanje kanye neyendabuko.

Uzobona futhi ukuthi umshado wothando eNdiya uvumela umbhangqwana ukuthi uqondane kangcono ngaphambili. Akukho okungaqinisekisa umshado ophumelelayo wothando, kodwa ukwazi ubuntu bomunye nomunye ngokuqinisekile kwenza iminyaka embalwa yokuqala yomshado ibe lula kakhulu kunomshado ohleliwe. Uma ukwazi, hlala uye ukuze uthole isinqumo esinolwazi olungcono kakhulu, akunjalo? Ake sibheke ukuthi kungani imishado yothando eNdiya ibe yimpumelelo kamuva nje, nokuthi umehluko phakathi kokubili ungaba yini.

1. Ukulungisa kuba lula

Zonke izinhlobo zemishado ziyahluleka. Ngisho umshado wothando eNdiya uza nezinkinga. Ukulungiswa kungenye yezinto ezingabhubhisa ngisho nezizinzile, uthando noma ukuhlelwa. Nokho, ulwazi lwangaphambili lombhangqwana oluvela ezinsukwini zabo zokuphola luqinisekisa ukuthi banokuqonda ubuntu bomunye nomunye, umlingiswa, abakuthandayo, nokungathandwa.

Lokhu kubenza bazilungiselele ngokwengeziwe ngamathuluzi okubhekana nezinselele ezingase ziphakame emshadweni wabo. Umshado ophumelelayo wothando eNdiya nanoma yikuphi kulula njengoba unokuqonda kwangaphambili nolwazi lomlingani wakho ngaphambi komshado. Lokhu kukunika izindlela ezinokuthula nezihlakaniphile zokubhekana nomunye nomunye lapho izinto ziba namatshe, into edlula zonke izinhlobo zemishado.

2. Nikeza futhi uthathe isiko

Imishado ehleliwe ngokuvamile inqunywa ngokusekelwe emasikweni afanayo, izinkolo, noma izinhlanga. Ukuthambekela okuphambene kungabonakala ngemishado yothando, lapho imibhangqwana exube izinkolo nezinhlanga ezihlukene, nabalingane abavela ezizindeni namasiko ahlukene, bebopha ifindo likasofasilahlane. Lokhu, ngokuhlukahluka okungaka, kwenzelwa umgudu omkhulu wokushintshana ngamasiko okwakucishe kungenzeki ngokomlando ngokuhlukahlukana okungaka. 

Ukuze nisondelane kangcono nomlingani wakho, kufanele kube nokuxutshwa kwamasiko namasiko. Ngomshado ophumelelayo wothando e-India, lokhu kupha-futhi-kuthatha kufanele kuqinisekise ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazizwa bemelwe ngokulinganayo ebudlelwaneni. Ubani othi imishado yothando yayingewona umsebenzi? Zingumsebenzi olinganayo, kodwa owodwa ongawukhetha.

3. Umshado wothando eNdiya usho abazali abangabandakanyeki kangako, uma kuqhathaniswa nomshado ohleliwe

Njengoba amafilimu amaningi aseBollywood ezokutshela, imishado yaseNdiya ayiyona phakathi kwabantu ababili kodwa imindeni emibili. Njengoba abazali behola emshadweni ohleliwe, bavame ukuba nezwi elibalulekile empilweni yomshado yalo mbhangqwana. Kulezi zinsuku, njengoba iphesenti lemishado yothando eNdiya likhuphuka, imibhangqwana ikhetha ngokusobala ukuba nezwi eliningi kanye nentshisekelo ekusaseni layo.

Ingcindezi yabazali emishadweni ehleliwe idume kabi eNdiya. Amabhayisikobho, ithelevishini, nokuphila kwangempela, zontathu zigcwele indlela ukucindezela kwabazali okuyibhidliza ngayo imishado. Kungaba ukukhetha kwabalingani babo noma ukuthi bayiphatha kanjani impilo yabo yomshado; imibhangqwana ikhetha ukuzimela okwakungavunyelwe kumodeli endala yomshado ohleliwe. E-India, imishado yothando inikeza indlela eyodwa enkulu yokuzikhulula kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwengcindezi eyengeziwe yabazali kumbhangqwana osanda kushada.

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4. Abalingani bafulathelana

Noma yibuphi ubuhlobo bungaba nothando olukhulu nokusekelwa, okuhleliwe kanye nothando. Kodwa, umlando wemishado ehleliwe ubonise okuhlukile kakhulu. Izinkinga zasekhaya kanye nokuhlukunyezwa emishadweni ehleliwe enobutha akuvamile ukuthi kuphele kahle kwabesifazane baseNdiya. Futhi kukhona ukuchema okubonakalayo kwabalingani besilisa ngokumelene namakhosikazi abo okungenakushaywa indiva. Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko, emcabangweni ovamile, ukuthi kungani umshado wothando ungcono kunokuhlelwa ukusekelwa umngane womshado. 

Njengoba imishado yothando emphakathini wethu kufanele ibhekane nezingcindezi eziningi ekuqaleni, ubuhlobo buyaqina. Ozakwethu kumele bancike komunye nomunye ukuze bathole ukwesekwa, ikakhulukazi uma umhlaba uphikisana nabo. Lokhu futhi kwakha ukwethembana, okufanele kubenze abalingani bomunye nomunye abaqine kunoma yisiphi isimo. 

5. Ukusondelana kulula

Ucansi luyisici esikhulu emshadweni. Kodwa, emishadweni yendabuko ehleliwe, akukhulunywa ngalo kakhulu ngaphambili. Yingakho abalingani emshadweni ohleliwe kufanele basebenzele ukudala ukusondelana ndawonye . Uma uzibuza ukuthi umshado wothando muhle yini, cabanga ngalokhu: kulungile kangakanani ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili nomuntu ongamazi? Akuyona indebe yetiye yawo wonke umuntu, akunjalo?

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuheheka ngokomzimba nokuxhumana ngokwengqondo kudlala indima elinganayo ekushayeleni umshado wothando eNdiya noma kwenye indawo. Lokhu kuholela esimweni esilula lapho ozakwethu kungadingeki basebenze kanzima ukuze bakhe lokho kusondelana ngaphakathi kwekamelo lokulala. Imibhangqwana eminingi kulezi zinsuku iphila impilo yocansi ngaphambi komshado futhi futhi ikhululekile nemizimba yomunye nomunye, ngakho-ke, akukho ukuhlukumezeka mayelana nokusondelana komunye nomunye.

6. Nibhekana kangcono nama-negatives komunye nomunye

Emshadweni wothando, bobabili abalingani bavela endaweni yokwazi amaphutha nokubi komunye nomunye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, emishadweni ehleliwe, bangaba abantu abangabazi abahlangana ngobusuku bomshado okokuqala. Imishado ehleliwe ivame ukuba nokungalingani kwamandla kwabesifazane ekubeni ingxenye ezithobayo ezinikele ezidingweni zansuku zonke zomyeni. 

Njengoba kuthatha iminyaka ukwakha ukuqondana emshadweni ohleliwe, amaphutha omunye nomunye embulwa kancane kancane phakathi neminyaka. Isibonelo esisodwa impikiswano engapheli mayelana nokuthi ubani owenza umsebenzi wasendlini owengeziwe, ongapheli ekhaya lesimanje lapho bobabili abalingani behola. Kepha, emshadweni wothando eNdiya, izinto ziba ngcono njengoba bobabili abalingani bazi ukuthi yini okufanele bayilindele komunye nomunye. Kubenza bakuhlomele kangcono ukwazi nokusebenzisana ngisho nezici ezimbi zobuntu bomlingani wabo.

7. Inkululeko eyengeziwe

Njengoba bobabili abalingani bazana futhi beqondana, banenkululeko eyengeziwe yokuveza imibono yabo futhi baphile impilo ngokugcwele. Ozakwethu banomuzwa wokuthi ubudlelwano futhi kamuva nomshado kunikeza indawo yokuhlala ukuze babe yibona ngokuphelele futhi baphile izimpilo zabo eziyiqiniso ngaphandle kokuzenzisa noma izimfihlo.

Ukuze umshado wothando uphumelele, bobabili abalingani kudingeka bakwazi ukuveza imizwa yabo ngokucacile nangokwethembeka. Ngaphandle kokuba nobudlelwano obuseduze ngokwanele ukuze bakhulume ngalokho okungase kubakhathaze, cishe bazovala yonke imizwa. Izinkinga zokuxhumana zivame ukuqeda ubudlelwano.

8. Umshado wothando eNdiya ubonisa ukuhloniphana okwengeziwe

Uma kubhekwa indlela umphakathi wezinzalamizi wase-India osebenza ngayo, akumangazi ukuthi abantu besifazane abahlonishwa kakhulu emishadweni ehleliwe. Emaphandleni ngisho nasezindaweni zasemadolobheni, amakhosikazi asanda kushada awakhuthazwa ukusebenza, ngakho kuthiwa “angagxila” kakhulu emisebenzini yasekhaya.

Umshado wothando eNdiya ngokuvamile ubonisa ukuhloniphana nokulingana okwengeziwe, okuyisisekelo sanoma yikuphi ukubambisana okuphumelelayo. Bobabili abantu bangena ku-equation ngokuzithandela, futhi bobabili baqaphela amalungelo kanye nezidingo zomunye.

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9. Ukuxazululwa kokungqubuzana kungenzeka kakade sekusunguliwe

Uma ushada nomuntu ngemva kobudlelwane besikhathi eside, kungenzeka ukuthi nobabili nake nabhekana nezimpi ezinkulu. Uma umbhangqwana usinde ehiccups futhi ukwazi ukunqoba izingxabano, cishe, sekuvele kunenqubo yokuxazulula izingxabano kanye nenqubo yokubuyisana.

Okusho ukuthi, bayakwazi ukuhamba ezikhathini ezinzima nezimpi ezinzima. Imishado yothando eNdiya nasemhlabeni wonke ifaka izinga lokuqonda ngomunye umuntu, okusiza lapho kuqubuka lezo zingxabano ezimbi. Emshadweni ohleliwe, lapho uhlangane khona nomlingani wakho izinyanga ezimbalwa, ukwazi ukuthi bazosabela kanjani entukuthelweni noma ezimweni ezicindezelayo cishe akunakwenzeka. Ngakho-ke, kufanele uzilungiselele izimanga eziningi endleleni.

Umshado Ohleliwe vs. Ingxoxo Yothando Ngomshado

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyathandeka noma cha, impikiswano phakathi komshado wothando eNdiya nomshado ohleliwe ibalulekile. Kungase kungabi khona uhlobo "olufanele" lomshado maqondana nabantu ababili, kodwa ikhono eliphelele labantu lokwenza izinqumo zabo zokuphila libalulekile. Yingakho izinga lempumelelo yomshado wothando eNdiya lingabalulekile kangako njengenkululeko yokuba nomunye uma unquma kanjalo.

Ngakho-ke, ingabe umshado wothando muhle? Nakuba lowo mbuzo ungowakho ngokuphelele ukuba uwuphendule, inani lezinzuzo umshado wothando onalo eNdiya alinakudlulwa umshado ohleliwe. Olunye unqenqema ukuthi umshado wothando uyohlale unawo ukuthi usekelwe othandweni. Ngaleso sici esibalulekile sobudlelwano esinakekelwe, sikushiya nisebenze kwezinye izici zempilo yenu ndawonye.

Uthando lungenza izinto eziningi zibe bushelelezi, okuhlanganisa imizabalazo yomuntu siqu noma yobungcweti. Emshadweni ohleliwe, umzabalazo ungaholela ekutheni umlingani azizwe eshintshile noma ekhohlisiwe ngemuva komshado, kanti emshadweni wothando, kukhona ukwamukelwa okwengeziwe kwanoma yimaphi amabhola ejika angaphonswa kuwe. Uthando luphinde luthungele inkanuko nokuthandana, okuseyizingqinamba emshadweni ohleliwe. Futhi ngalokho, senze kwaba nothando!

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.