10 Ngā Hapa Whakahou Marena hei Ārai i Muri i te Whakapono

I roto i te ao tino pai, kāore he tangata e aro ki te kore whakaute me te mamae o te tinihangatia (engari, i roto i te ao tino pai, ko te tangata i arohaina e koe, i whakawhirinakihia hoki e koe i tēnei ao, e kore e tinihanga i a koe). Heoi, he maha ngā wā he raruraru ngā whanaungatanga tūturu me ngā whanaungatanga tangata, ā, ko te wehe atu i te hoa rangatira tinihanga kāore pea i te kōwhiringa i ngā wā katoa. Ki te whakatau koe ki te whakamātau anō i tō whanaungatanga, me mahi me te mōhio katoa ki ngā hapa 10 o te houhanga marena hei karo i muri i te puremu.

He aha, e pātai ana koe? Tuatahi, mā te whakataurite i te huarahi tika ka taea te whakaiti i te tūponotanga o te hoki anō ki te mamae o te tinihanga i ngā tau torutoru kei te heke mai. Tuarua, ka whakarite kia tautuhia, kia arohia, kia mahihia hoki ngā take i whai wāhi ki te kōwhiringa a tō hoa ki te kotiti ke me te hanga anō i tētahi hononga kaha ake, kaua e huna noa i ō raruraru ki raro i te whāriki ka whakaae ki tētahi anga tuwhera o tētahi whanaungatanga e tata ana ki te pakaru i te tīmatanga o te raruraru.

Ehara i te mea uaua te whakatau ki te muru i te hara o te hoa tinihanga, me te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a rātou. Ka tīmata te wero tūturu i muri mai. He rite tonu ki te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga hou, ahakoa me te tūpato me te kawenga o te mamae me te kore whakawhirinaki. Hei whakangawari ake i te ara, me titiro tātou ki ngā hapa 10 e kitea ana i roto i te houhanga rongo marena hei karo i muri i te puremu, kia pai ake ai te tūponotanga ki te okioki i tēnei tīmatanga hou i runga i tētahi turanga pakari, me te kōrero ki te tohunga hinengaro. Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT me te kaunihera mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine.

Ka taea te whakahou i te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga?

He taea te houhanga rongo i muri i te puremu? He taea te whakaora i te marena i muri i te puremu? I tinihanga taku tāne, me noho tonu ahau? Kei te hiahia taku wahine ki te hoki mai i muri i te moepuku, me hoatu e ahau he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia? He maha ngā pātai pēnei e whakararuraru ana i te hinengaro o te hunga kua mau ō rātou hoa e tinihanga ana. Ko te whakautu poto ko: āe.

E taea ana te whakahoki mai i te marena i muri i te puremu, me te hanga hononga hauora, engari he uaua te tukanga ki te hinengaro, ā, me whakapau kaha, me mahi nui hoki ngā hoa tokorua. te ora i tētahi whanaungatanga, Me muru hara te hoa i tinihangatia, engari me whakaae te hoa tinihanga ki te kawenga mō ā rāua hapa me te whakapāha. He nui te ngākau mahaki, te kaha, te kōrero pono, me te manawanui e hiahiatia ana mō te tukanga whakaora i te kore whakapono.

I te kōrero mō te taea o te houhanga rongo i muri i te whanoke, nandita e mea ana, "Ina tīmata te tukanga houhanga rongo o te tokorua i muri i te kore whakapono, he maha ngā arai hinengaro e arai ana i tō rāua hononga kare ā-roto, te hononga ki a rāua anō, me te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata. Ko te nui o te pānga o ēnei arai hinengaro ki te houhanga rongo, e whakawhirinaki ana ki te āhua o te kore whakapono me te kaha o tō rāua hononga i mua i te puta me te putanga mai o te tinihanga."

Anei ētahi mea hei āwhina i te tukanga whakaora, hei whakaora anō hoki i te marena i muri i te puremu:

• Whakamahia te aroha me te whai i ā rātou kupu whakaari mā te mahi
• Whakatakotoria he rohe, ā, kati te whakahawea tetahi ki tetahi
• Parakatihi whakaraeraetanga
• Pātaihia ngā pātai e tika ana i muri i te puremu
• Akohia te ngoikore me te ngākau pouri i mua i tō hoa rangatira
• Whakakitea ō feaa me ō wehi e pā ana ki tō marena
• Akohia te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto tetahi ki tetahi 

He maha ngā take e kore ai e wehe i muri i te puremu. Tērā pea kei roto i ēnei ko te aroha tonu tetahi ki tetahi ki ngā herenga pūtea, ngā pēhanga me te whakama o te hapori, te kore e hiahia ki te wawahi i te whānau, te noho tahi rānei mō te pai o ngā tamariki. Ko te tūponotanga ka angitu koe ki te rapu huarahi hei whakahaere i te marena i muri i te tinihanga, kei runga i ngā take i whiriwhiri ai koe ki te hohou i te rongo i te tuatahi me te āhua o te hara.

Hei tauira, mēnā he mahi kotahi noa te tinihanga, he māmā ake te whakakore i te tinihanga i te murunga hara i te murunga hara mō te wā roa. Waihoki, ki te aroha tonu kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, e hiahia ana kōrua ki te whakapau kaha ki te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ka māmā ake te houhanga rongo i muri i te tinihanga. He maha ngā tāngata e whiriwhiri ana kia noho tahi i muri i te tinihanga, heoi, ko te kounga o te whanaungatanga kei runga i te mea kei te mahi koe i tēnei mea mō ngā take tika me te huarahi tika.

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10 Ngā Hapa Whakahou Marena hei Ārai i Muri i te Whakapono

"E toru tau ki muri, i taku kōrerotanga ki a Janine kei te moe tāne ahau, kāore ia i pai ki te whakarongo ki aku kōrero, ā, i hiahia ia ki te haere atu. I te tīmatanga, i tino ohorere ia, ko te kōrero anake i mahia e ia ki ahau ko te tuku kōrero kino me ngā pepa whakarere," te kī a Jon, he taote whakawhānau 34-tau te pakeke, e kōrero ana i tana wheako ki te houhanga rongo i muri i te wehenga o te kore whakapono.

"Kāore rawa i ahau he whakaaro me pēhea te āwhina i taku wahine kia ora i muri i taku tinihanga. I muri i te marama o te wehenga, kāore ia i āwangawanga ki te kōrero anō ki ahau. Nā tētahi kōrero kare ā-roto i arahi ki tētahi atu, ā, pērā tonu, ka tīmata te whanake o ngā wāhanga o te houhanga rongo i muri i te moe tāne," tāna tāpiri.

I runga i te pānga o te whanoke ki te hoa rangatira kua tukinotia, ehara tēnei whanonga i te mea ohorere. E kī ana a Nandita, "I muri tata mai i te kua kitea te mahi taihara, tērā pea ka mutu te aroha o te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia ki tētahi atu. Ehara i te mea onge te ngaro o te aroha i muri i te puremu. Heoi, kāore pea tēnei ngaronga o ngā kare ā-roto e pumau tonu. I roto i te wā, ka tīmata te marino o ngā kare ā-roto kaha. Mēnā he kaha te hononga o te tokorua i mua i tēnei raruraru, ka kitea e rāua he ara hoki ki a rāua anō.”

Heoi, ehara tēnei i te kī ka taea e koe te ūkui noa i tēnei upoko i tō oranga, ka anga whakamua. He ara roa, he ara uaua ki te whakaoranga. Engari ka taea te whakangawari ake mēnā ka maumahara koe ki ēnei hapa 10 e pā ana ki te houhanga rongo marena hei karo i muri i te puremu:

1. Te whakatau tere i ngā whakatau tino nui

Ina kitea kua tinihangatia koe, he mea maori te pāngia e te raruraru o ngā kare ā-roto. "Ka piki ake ngā kare ā-roto i muri i te putanga mai o te tinihanga, ā, ka pōuri pea te hoa rangatira kua tukinotia e te riri, te tinihanga, me ngā take whakawhirinaki, ā, ka uaua ai ki a rātou te whakaatu aroha ki tā rātou hoa tinihanga," te kī a Nandita.

Tērā pea ka whakamatautauria koe ki te mahi ohorere i te wā e werawera ana, pērā i te tuku pānui whakarere, te moe tāne rānei, te pei rānei i tō hoa rangatira i te whare. Ko ēnei ētahi o ngā hapa nui rawa atu i roto i te houhanga rongo i te marena e uaua ake ai te huarahi ki te hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira. Kia mārama ai koe ki te whakahaere i te marena i muri i te tinihanga, kaua e tukua ō kare ā-roto kia ārahi i ō mahi.

Kaua e hohoro te whakatau. Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō me tō whanaungatanga kia ora ai, kia maumahara hoki he maha ngā wāhanga o whakaora i muri i te puremu. Hoatu he wā manawa ki a kōrua kia taea rā anō e kōrua te ine tika me te whai whakaaro ki ō kōrua kare ā-roto. Kāore he huarahi kē atu hei whakatau i te wā e wehe atu ai i muri i te puremu, me te wā e noho ai, me te tuku anō i tētahi whai wāhitanga ki tō kōrua marena. O ngā hapa 10 e kitea ana i roto i te houhanga rongo marena hei karo i muri i te puremu, koinei pea te mea tino uaua ki te huna. Engari me mahi e koe, nā te mea koinei tētahi o ngā wāhanga tino nui o te murunga hara.

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2. He iti rawa, he maha rawa rānei ngā pātai e pātaihia ana

Ae, tera pea he ahua whakahē tēnei. Engari ko ēnei e rua ngā hapa houhanga marena tino noa hei karo i muri i te puremu. Kei a koe te tika ki te pātai mō te whanaungatanga o tō hoa, ā, e tika ana kia whakautua koe. Ko tētahi o ngā take e hiahia ana te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia kia mārama ai te take i tinihanga ai te tangata i tōna whakawhirinaki. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a rātou ki te mahi ki te whakaoti i te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa.

Ko te noho tonu i roto i te whakakahore, te whakaari kāore i puta te tinihanga, te karo rānei i ngā kōrero uaua ka whakararu noa i a kōrua mahi ki te noho tahi i muri i te tinihanga. He mea nui kia kōrero i roto i te tukanga houhanga rongo i muri i te tinihanga. Hei hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia, tera pea ka tino taumaha rawa koe i tō mamae me tō pōuri, ā, kāore pea koe e whakaaro ki tētahi mea. te whakaaro o te hunga tinihanga ki a rātou anōMā te pātai i ngā pātai tika ka taea te whakakī i taua āputa, ka wātea hoki he wāhi mō te aroha i roto i tō hononga.

"Tērā ētahi wā ka hiahia te hoa kua tinihangatia ki te mōhio ki ngā mea katoa mō te moepuku, ā, tērā ētahi wā kāore rātou e hiahia ki te whakarongo ki ngā mea i tupu me te pēhea. He mea maori ēnei urupare e rua, ā, ka puta tahi mai. Heoi, he mea nui kia taea te whakataurite me te rapu mōhiohio i runga i te pūtake e hiahiatia ana kia mōhio. Whakaaetia kāore pea koe e mōhio, e aro rānei ki te pono katoa mō te moepuku a tō hoa rangatira," te kī a Nandita. Kaua e mamae te haere ki ngā taipitopito whaiaro o te hononga o tō hoa rangatira ki tā rātou hoa moepuku.

3. Te rapu utu

E ai ki te nuinga o ngā tohunga whanaungatanga, e whā ki te ono ngā wā ka pā ki te tangata ngā wāhanga whakaora i te whakaponokore i muri i te kitenga kua tinihangatia rātou – te pouri, te whakakāhore, te riri, me te whiriwhiri, hei tauira noa iho. I muri i tō wheako i tēnei whakapouri kare ā-roto ka tae koe ki te wāhi whakaae, ā, ka taea e koe te tīmata ki te whakaaro mō te whakaora i te tinihanga i roto i te marena me te hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira.

Ahakoa he uaua ia wāhanga, ā, he rerekē ngā wero, ko te riri te mea tino mōrearea. Kia angitu ai i muri i te tinihanga, me mahi koe i ngā mahi ātaahua hei aukati i a koe kei taka ki te rua rāpeti o te rapu utu i tō hoa i te wā e werawera ana. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe ki te moe tāne hei whakaako i tō hoa, engari kia mōhio koe he whakangaro aua whakaaro i a koe anō. Ka mutu, ka whara koe i a koe anō.

"Ka tae mai tētahi wā ka whakaaro koe kāore e taea e koe te tu atu ki te mamae me te pōuri, ā, ka hiahia koe ki te mahi i tētahi mea mōna. Kia tino whiriwhiria e koe tētahi ara e ārahi ana i a koe ki te whakaae i te mahi tinihanga, me te whakatau i te huarahi e hiahia ana koe ki te haere atu i reira, kaua e haere ki te ara o te rapu utu ka whakapiki noa i te kino, ka whakaroa i tō tukanga whakaora, ā, ka kore e taea e koe te neke whakamua," te tohutohu a Nandita. Koinei pea tētahi o ngā hapa nui rawa atu e arai ana i te whakahokinga mai o te marena i muri i te moepuku.

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4. Te mataku kei tinihanga anō rātou

Ina e ngana ana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei wikitoria i te puremu i roto i te marena, ko te neke atu i ngā take whakawhirinaki te arai nui rawa atu i tō ara. Heoi, me kimi e koe he huarahi hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatangaKo tētahi o ngā hapa tekau e tino kitea ana i te wā e houhia ai te rongo i muri i te puremu, ko te tino whakapae i tō hoa rangatira. Ki te hiahia koe ki te muru i ngā hara o tō hoa rangatira, me te neke whakamua tahi hei tokorua, me mahi ma te ngākau pono, kaua rānei e mahi i te katoa.

Ko tō mataku mō te tūponotanga ka tinihanga anō rāua, kāore e arahi i a kōrua ki hea. Ki te mea me tinihanga rāua, ka tinihanga rāua. Nō reira kati te tirotiro i ā rāua waea, te tirotiro i ā rāua mea, te tutei rānei i a rāua. He tika ō ruarua me ō mataku engari ko te mahi mataku ka kino noa iho te āhuatanga. Me whakatakoto e koe he rohe hei ārai i ngā hononga kare ā-roto, tae noa ki ngā hononga tinana, engari ko aua ture hei tiaki i a koe, kaua hei whakakore i ngā tūponotanga kei a koe ki te harikoa.

5. Te korenga e whakatakoto rohe

I a tātou e kōrero ana mō tēnei kaupapa, kia mōhio koe ko te kore whakatakoto rohe te mea nui i roto i ngā hapa 10 o te houhanga rongo hei karo i muri i te tinihanga. Ina whakatau koe ki te tango anō i tētahi hoa rangatira puremu, whakatakotoria ngā tikanga me ngā herenga kia mārama. E kī ana a Nandita, "He mea nui ngā rohe ki te tukanga houhanga rongo mō te marena. Nō reira, noho tahi me tō hoa rangatira, ka whakatakoto rohe hononga"... Ko te mea nui ake, whakahonoretia rātou, ahakoa te aha. Ki te takahia e tētahi o ngā hoa, inā koa ko te tangata nāna i tinihanga, ēnei rohe, ka ara ake anō te āwangawanga me ngā take whakawhirinaki."

Ka rite pea te āhua o ngā rohe o te whanaungatanga ki tēnei:

• Ina takaro koe ki ētahi atu, ka whakaaro ahau kāore koe i te whakaute. Kei te tumanako ahau kia mutu tāu mahi i tēnā.
• Ki te mea kei te tomuri koe, e tumanako ana ahau ka whakamōhiotia koe
• Ka nui te mihi mēnā ka taea e koe te whakamōhio mai i a au mō tō wāhi noho i te awatea.
• Ahakoa taku oati kāore au e tirotiro i tō waea, e hiahia ana ahau kia whakapuakina e tāua ngā kupuhipa hei māramatanga.

Kōrerotia ō hiahia me ō mataku ki te pono. Pānuihia te ture i mua i tō kōrua hokinga tahi kia angitu ai ki te wikitoria i te puremu i roto i te marena. Engari kia oti rā, ako ki te whakawhirinaki, kaua hoki e whakapae ki tō hoa i ngā wā katoa. Mena kei te arai ō mataku me ō āwangawanga i tō kaha ki te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka pātai koe, "Kāore anō te marena kia rite i muri i te puremu?" "Ka taea rānei te whakaora i te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga?", kia mōhio koe he roa te wā. Engari kia tae atu koe ki reira, kua whiti koe i tētahi tohu nui i roto i ngā wāhanga whakaora o te puremu.

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6. Te whakaeke i tō hoa rangatira ki ngā kare ā-roto

Ae, he uaua te noho i roto i tētahi marena e tata ana ki te mutunga, engari kia mahara, ko koe te tangata kua whakatau ki te houhia te rongo. Ki te hiahia pono koe ki te rapu huarahi hei wikitoria i te tinihanga i roto i te marena, ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino āwhina māu ko te karo i ngā whakaekenga kare ā-roto. Ehara i te mea kāore e taea e koe te whakaara ake i ngā take e whakararuraru ana i a koe, te whakapuaki rānei i ō wehi me ō āwangawanga, engari me mahi koe i roto i te whakaute me te manaaki.

Kaore i te mohio he aha te mea hei kōrero ki tētahi i whara i a koe me pēhea te kī koinei tētahi o ngā hapa houhanga rongo e tino kitea ana hei karo i muri i te puremu. Ahakoa kāore anō kia ea i a koe te mamae i pā mai ki a koe nā tō hoa rangatira, ko te riri, te tuku kupu whakatoi, te tuku karere pāpāho pāpori ngaro, te tuku puku i a rātou, me te tuku kupu whakahihi kia kino ake ai tō rātou wairua, e kore e āwhina i a koe ki te ora.

Ki te riria tonutia e koe tō hoa i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana, e kore koe e angitū ki te hanga anō i tētahi marena i muri i te puremu. Tērā pea ka whakamātauria rātou ki te kōrero i ngā mea ki a koe ā muri ake nei, ka kino noa iho ai tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ki te kore tonu e taea e koe te karo i te hara a tō hoa, kōrero ki a rātou, ka rapu i tētahi otinga engari kaua e whakamātau i ēnei mahi tinihanga e kore e puta he raruraru engari ko te ahotea. Āta karohia ēnei mahi mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakaora i tētahi marena i muri i te puremu.

7. Te tū atu ki te tangata i tinihangatia rāua

Me tū atu koe ki te wahine kē He tāne rānei? Ko tēnei raruraru tētahi o ngā āhuatanga tino uaua o te rapu huarahi hei wikitoria i te puremu i roto i te marena. Tērā pea he tino hiahia ki te pātai ki te hoa moepuku o tō hoa rangatira mō tā rāua whanaungatanga, ki te whakaatu rānei i te huarahi i "riro" ai koe i tō hoa rangatira. Engari i tua atu i te whakamana i tō whakapehapeha, kāore he hua. Inaa, tera pea ka kino ake ngā āhuatanga nā te mea he tino teitei te tūponotanga ka kino te tūtakitanga.

Ko te rapu i te otinga tētahi o ngā wāhanga nui o te whakaora i muri i te puremu, engari kāore e puta mai i tētahi tautohetohe kino ki te hoa o tō hoa rangatira. Ki te kore e tino taea te karo – hei tauira, mēnā ko te tangata i tinihanga tahi me tō hoa rangatira he tangata e mōhio ana koe, ā, me taunekeneke pinepine koe – he pai ake te karo i tēnei tautohetohe. Kia mahara kei te ngana koe ki te hanga hononga hou ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka taea e tēnei tautohetohe te whakakore i ngā ahunga whakamua kua mahia e koe tae noa mai ki tēnei wā.

8. Te whakapae i a koe anō me te whakaaro hara

Ko tētahi o ngā pānga noa o te tinihangatia ko te hiahia ki te whakapae i a koe anō me te whakama mō ngā mea i tupu. Ahakoa he hononga ā-hinengaro tō hoa, he hononga tinana rānei, ahakoa he hononga roa, he hononga poto noa rānei, ka tino heke te whakaaro ki a koe anō. Nō reira, ka tīmata pea koe ki te pātai mēnā i whai wāhi koe ki ngā whanonga a tō hoa rangatira kua hē i tētahi ara, kāore rānei koe i te pai ki a rātou.

Ahakoa he raruraru i puta mai i te marena, i te oranga moepuku kino rānei te take o te moepuku, kaua e tukua tō hoa rangatira, koe anō, tētahi atu rānei kia noho hei take mōu. rama hau koe kia whakapono nāu te he. Kia maumahara tonu, ahakoa te āhua, he kōwhiringa tonu te tinihanga, ā, he kōwhiringa nā tō hoa, ehara i a koe. Kāore ngā wāhanga o te houhanga rongo i muri i te moepuku e whakaatu ana tō hoa i a koe hei tangata kino, ā, ko ia anō hei patunga.

"Me whakaae te hoa kua tinihanga ki te kawenga mō āna mahi, me whakaae ki tāna hapa, me whakaatu hoki i te hiahia ki te whakapau kaha ki te whakapai ake i ngā mea. Ki te kore tēnei kawenga, ka taea e te houhanga rongo i roto i te marena te noho hei wero e kore e taea te wikitoria," te kī a Nandita. Ahakoa he pai ki te whakaaroaro me te titiro ki tāu mahi i ngoikore ai tō whanaungatanga, kaua e tukua kia pā ki tō whakaaro mōu ake.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te wawahi i te huringa kino o te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia

9. Te kawe mai i ngā tamariki ki te whakaari

He uaua te puremu ki te katoa, engari kaua rawa e hē ki te tōia ngā tamariki ki roto i ō raruraru marena. I ētahi wā, ina hurahia he hononga ā-ira, ā, kāore koe e pai ki te tuku i tō hoa rangatira, ka whakamatautauria pea koe ki te whakamahi i ngā tamariki hei piro hei whakapae i tō hoa rangatira kia noho tonu. He mea noa hoki te whiu i tētahi hoa rangatira mā te aukati i a rātou kia uru atu ki ngā tamariki, te whakawehi rānei ki te whakama i a rātou i mua i te whānau. Heoi, ehara ēnei i te whakautu ki te pehea e whakaoho anō ai i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga.

Ko ēnei mahi tinihanga e tohu ana i te hiahia ki te rapu utu, ehara i te hanga anō i te whanaungatanga. Me hiahia tō hoa ki te noho ki a koe nā te mea e tino pouri ana ia mō te tinihanga, ā, e hiahia ana ki te whakatika i ngā hapa, ehara i te mea nā te hara, ehara rānei i te tiaki i ngā tamariki kei whara. Kāore i te mōhio āhea te wā e haere atu ai i muri i te tinihanga ā, ko tētahi o ngā hapa houhanga marena e tino kitea ana ko te whakamā i tō hoa kia noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga kāore rāua e aro nui ana ki tēnā.

E kore rawa e taea e tētahi whanaungatanga pakaru, kāore i oti te hanga te pūtake o tētahi whānau harikoa. Kāore e kore ko te mamae o ngā kare ā-roto e pāngia ana e ngā tamariki e whakamahia ana hei mōunu. Ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi atu hei wawahi i te hukapapa, hei takawaenga rānei, whakaurua mai ō hoa, ō mema whānau rānei e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki. Engari kaua e whakaurua ngā tamariki ki roto.

10. Kāore e rapu āwhina ina hiahiatia ana

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaora i te whanaungatanga pōrearea me te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki me te whanaungatanga piripono i muri i te puremu. Mēnā kei te pōuri kōrua ko tō hoa, kei te raru rānei te tukanga whakaora i te kore whakapono, rapua he āwhina ngaio. Ka taea e te tohutohu marena te āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki ō kare ā-roto, kia mōhio ai kei te kotahi ō whakaaro mō ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e kōrua mai i te whanaungatanga, me te tautuhi anō hoki i ngā take matua i ārahi ai i tēnei hara me te mahi i aua raruraru.

He mea nui te tiaki i ō hiahia kare ā-roto me tō oranga i tēnei wā uaua. I runga i te āhua o te moe tāne – ahakoa he moe tāne kotahi te pō, he moe tāne roa rānei – ka pāngia anō hoki tō hoa tinihanga e ngā raruraru. Kia maumahara kei te wā ngoikore koe, ā, ko ngā hapa ka pā ki tō whanaungatanga.

"Ina he ahua kore e taea te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ina rānei ka pāngia ō taunekeneke katoa e te mamae me te tinihanga, ka tino āwhina te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te āwhina i a kōrua kia kite i ngā mea i roto i tētahi tirohanga hou, kia mārama ai hoki ki ngā tirohanga a tētahi ki tētahi," te kī a Nandita. Mena kei te rapu āwhina koe ki te rapu huarahi hei houhanga rongo i muri i te puremu, ko Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau kei konei koe.

E ai ki te kōrero, he rite ngā whanaungatanga ki te karāhe, ina pakaru, ka kitea tonutia he ngatata. Ahakoa he pono tēnā, kotahi te kupu māu: Kintsugi (mō te hunga kāore i te mōhio, koinei te momo toi Hapanihi mō te whakatika i ngā oko uku pakaru ki te koura - e whakamahia ana hoki hei kupu whakarite mō te awhi i ngā hapa me ngā ngoikoretanga). Arā, ka taea e koe te neke atu i tētahi arai pakaru pērā i te kore whakapono, ā, ka puta ake he kaha ake i mua.

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He aha te mea nui kia tiakina ngā taunakitanga o te hoa tinihanga

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.