E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau: 5 ngā tohu, 8 ngā take pea, me ngā tohutohu e 9 hei whakatau i te raruraru

Kei te titiro pōuriuri mai tō wahine ki a koe? Kei te mokemoke, kei te pouri hoki koe ahakoa kua moe tāu wahine i te wahine e arohaina ana e koe? Kei te noho pōuri koe i te mea kua whakaaro koe "e kino ana taku wahine ki ahau"? Ko te wahine i mihi atu ki a koe me te ataata, ā, i whakakī i tō ao ki te mahana o tana aroha, kua ahua makariri inaianei.

He mea mārama tō pōhēhē me tō pōhēhē, inā koa mēnā kāore he raruraru whanaungatanga i puta i huri ai ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe, ā, he āhua ohorere, he āhua kore e taea te whakamārama i tēnei huringa. Ki te mōhio koe ki ngā take i muri i ōna kare ā-roto e huri ana – hei tauira, "E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau nā te mea i tinihanga ahau" – e mōhio ana koe ki te take me te aha me mahi e koe. Waihoki, ki te mea ko te take "Ki taku whakaaro e kino ana taku wahine hapu ki ahau", ka taea e koe te whakamānawa i te mea ko tēnei whakaaro nā ngā huringa ā-tinana e pā ana ki a ia, ā, ko te tumanako ka huri i muri i te haputanga.

Ahakoa te take, he mea nui kia kaua e tukua te āhuatanga kia kore e taea te whakahaere. rangahau kua whakaatuhia e te mea ka taea e te marena kore harikoa te arahi ki te iti o te makona o te ao, te harikoa, me te whakaaro ki a koe anō. Inaa, ko te noho i roto i te marena kore harikoa he kino ake ki te hauora hinengaro i te whakarere. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakarērea ia me tō marena, tika? Nō reira, kei konei mātou hei kī atu ki a koe he aha te mea hei mahi ina kino tō wahine ki a koe…

5 Ngā Tohu e Kino Ana Tō Wahine Ki A Koe

Neke atu i te whitu tau a Shawn e moe ana. I mea mai ia ki a māua, "E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau, engari kāore ia e whakarere. Tokorua ā māua tamariki. Kāore ā māua kōrero e haere ki tua atu i ngā pire me ngā mahi o te whare, kua ngaro te whanaungatanga, ā, kei te tatari tonu ahau kia taka te hu kē. He aha te kino o taku wahine ki ahau?" Hei tāpiri atu ki ngā kōrero a Shawn, anei ētahi atu tohu e kino ana tō wahine ki a koe:

1. Kāore kōrua e kōrero

"E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau i tēnei wā tonu, ā, kua kore e hiahia ki te kōrero ki ahau," te kōrero a Cristopher ki tētahi hoa, whai muri i tana tukinotia e te maimoatanga puku mō ngā wiki. I te mutunga iho, kāore ia i whakanui rawa, i whakaaro rānei i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu. Ina kino tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te tuatahi ka pāngia. Anei ētahi tohu kāore tō marena i te wāhi tika:

• Kua huri te tautohetohe/amuamu tonu hei wahangu mate
• Kua mutu tana whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto/ngoikoretanga/wehi ki a koe
• Inaianei kua whakaritea e ia ngā mea katoa ki mua i te whanaungatanga

2. Kāore ia e aro ki a koe

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā e kino ana tō wahine ki a koe? Kua whakakapia te āhua atawhai ki ngā kare ā-roto makariri, kino. Ka kitea tēnei panoni o ōna kare ā-roto i te ngaronga o ngā mea iti i mahia e ia māu i mua, kāore pea koe i kite i tana whakapau kaha nui. te whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga. Engari kua rerekē katoa ēnā mea ināianei. Kāore ia:

• Me kī atu "Kei te aroha ahau ki a koe" i muri mai
• Ringihia he koha ki a koe pērā i tana i mua
• Whakaatuhia te aroha mā roto i ngā mahi iti

3. Kāore ia e ngana ana kia ātaahua ki a koe i ēnei rā

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu mārama e kore ana tō wahine e harikoa i roto i te marena, ā, e riri ana ki a koe, ko tana tuku noa iho i a ia. I mua, tera pea i whakapau kaha ia ki te whakakakahu kia ātaahua, kia ātaahua hoki ki a koe. Ka mau ia i ō tae tino pai ki a koe. Ināianei, ina haere tahi rāua, he ngāwari noa iho āna kākahu, engari ina whai mahere ia me āna hoa, ka whakakakahu ia kia rite ki tana i mua. Ki te kore ia e hiahia ki te miharo i a koe, ki te pai rānei ki ngā mihi mai i a koe, kua tae ki te wā kia pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha i kore ai taku wahine e aro nui mai ki ahau?"

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina Haere Atu Tō Wahine Ki A Koe

4. E titiro ana ia ki a koe hei hoariri

Ina kino tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, ko tā rātou anake he pupuri i tētahi kaute me te rapu utu. Ko tana hiahia nui ki te toa e whakaatu ana kua huri tō kōrua marena hei raruraru kore-whakaeke. Ko te koropupū e pupuhi ana te mauahara i roto i te marena kua ārahi i a ia ki te whakaaro ko koe he hoariri, kaua ko te tāne i arohaina e ia. Ka hua ake pea ēnei i ngā huringa e whai ake nei i roto i ana whanonga:

• He nui ake tana aro ki te wikitoria i te whakatau me te hoki anō ki te noho noa
• Kāore ia e whakaae/whakarerekē
• Kei te tautohetohe tonu ia ki a koe
• Ka whakanui ake ia i ngā raruraru, kaua e ngana ki te whakatau

5. Kāore ia e noho tahi me koe

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā e kino ana tō wahine ki a koe? Kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te noho tahi. Kātahi ka puta te āhua nei he nui ake tō aro ki te whanaungatanga i tō hoa rangatira engari i mua, kua harikoa ia ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa kia menemene ai koe. Anei ētahi tohu kua ngaro tōna hiahia ki a koe:

• Kua tīmata ia ki te pai ki te noho motuhake i te wā e noho tahi ana
• He pai kē atu ki a ia te mahi i tētahi atu mea hei kōrero mō ō kōrua raruraru whanaungatanga
• Ka meinga koe e ia kia rite ki te mea kei te akiaki koe i a ia kia whakapau i te wā

8 Ngā Take Pea e Kino ai Tō Wahine ki a Koe

"Kāore au i te mōhio he aha te take e kino ai taku wahine ki ahau" ehara i te mea onge o te pōhēhē. Tērā pea ka ngaro koe, ka pōhēhē hoki i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakaae ki te mōhiotanga kua moea koe e tetahi e kino ana ki a koe. I te whakamārama i te take e puta ai tēnei huringa o ngā kare ā-roto, ka mea te tohunga hinengaro Kranti Momin i kōrero i mua ki a Bonobology, "He taunakitanga kei te kī mai Ka taea e te mauahara me te aroha te noho tahi i roto i te whanaungatangaHe uaua ngā whanaungatanga aroha, me te aroha whānui.

"Ahakoa te hohonu o tō aroha ki tētahi, e kore rātou e whakahari i a koe i ngā wā katoa. He mea koretake te whakapono kāore koe e rongo i te riri, te whakarihariha, āe, tae noa ki te mauahara, i roto i te roanga o te whanaungatanga." Nō reira, anei ngā take pea e kino ai tō wahine ki a koe:

1. He nui rawa ngā mea hei mahi māna ko ia anake

Ko tētahi o ngā take e kino ai tō wahine ki a koe, ko te taumahatanga pea o tōna ngākau i te ao me ngā mea katoa e pā mai ana ki a ia. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro ia kua pikau ia i ngā kawenga o te kāinga, kāore he āwhina nui mai i a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā take e puta ai te riri i roto i te marena, ā, ka mutu, ka huri hei mauahara. Pātai atu ki a koe anō:

• E hia te nui o te kawenga e tohaina ana e kōrua?
• E rite ana tō wā ki tōna wā e whakangao ana koe i roto i ngā mahi o te whare?
• Ko ia anake rānei te tangata e tiaki ana i ngā tamariki?

2. Kāore koe e mea kia motuhake ia

Ki te kore koe e kaha ki te whakarērea te whakaaro, "Kāore au e mārama he aha te take e kino ai taku wahine ki ahau", tera pea kei te aro atu koe ki te nui o tō kaha ki te tiaki i tō hononga ka taea e koe te whiwhi whakautu. E ai ki ngā rangahau, ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakarite ana i ētahi wā kounga hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tetahi ki tetahi i te iti rawa kotahi i te wiki, tata ki te 3.5 ngā wā ka nui ake te kī he "tino harikoa" ā rātou marena i te hunga kāore.

Ki te mea kāore koe i ngana ki te hono atu ki a ia, koinei pea tētahi o ngā take e raru ana ia. E tika ana kia whiwhi ia wahine i ngā mahi iti e whakaarohia ana, pērā i te tiki putiputi me te waina māna, te tunu kai rānei māna mō tētahi. ahiahi aroha i te kāinga.

3. E kino ana ia ki ō whanonga

"E kī ana taku wahine e kino ana ia ki ahau, engari he aha ai?" Ka taea te whakatau i tēnei raruraru mā te whakaaroaro hohonu. E ai ki tētahi ako, ko te whakamahi kino i ngā matū tetahi o ngā tino take mō te whakarere. Waihoki, ko te nui o te inu waipiro, te momi hikareti, te waranga ki ngā kēmu/waea, ngā whanonga whakararuraru pēnei i te petipeti ka ārai i te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira.

Nā, kei a koe tētahi āhuatanga e kinongia ana e tō wahine, ā, kei te mau tonu koe i aua āhuatanga? Tērā pea i ngana ia ki te kōrero ki a koe, i tono rānei kia whakatikatikaina ōu āhua, engari kāore koe i aro. Tērā pea he take tika tēnei i tawhiti ai ia, i makariri ai, i noho puku ai.

Te pānui e pā ana: Kei te kōrero tonu taku wahine i taku hapa o mua. Tēnā koa, homai he tohutohu.

4. Kāore koe e tirotiro i a ia

Ko te mea nui i roto i te mahi tahi ko te tirotiro tetahi i tetahi i ia wā, i ia wā ngā pātai hei whakapakari i tō whanaungatanga kia mōhio ai kei te kitea, kei te rangona, kei te manaakitia hoki ngā hoa tokorua. Anei ētahi tauira:

• "I pehea to ra?"
• "I tino kaha tō mahi i taua whakaaturanga. I pēhea te haere?"
• "E mōhio ana ahau he uaua ngā wiki e rua kua pahure ake nei. Kei te pēhea koe?"

Ki te kore koe e mahara ki te wā whakamutunga i whakapau kaha ai koe ki te whakapā atu ki tāu wahine kia kite ai kei te pēhea ia, tera pea kei te whakaaro ia kāore ia e arohia ana, e kore hoki e kitea, ā, ka kino pea ia ki a koe.

5. Ngā huringa ā-tinana hei take

A Reddit I tuhituhi te kaiwhakamahi, "E kino ana taku wahine hapu ki ahau. Kāore e taea e au te mahi, te kōrero rānei i tetahi mea tika. Ka riri ia i ngā kōrero iti, ka kōrero mō te whakarere me te mātua tahi, he mea noa tēnei? Me aha ahau hei āwhina i te āhuatanga? Kei te ngana ahau ki te tautoko, engari i ia wā ka whakaaro ahau kei te whakaaro ia kei te ngana noa ahau ki te pana atu i a ia. Kua ngaro."

Te aroha i muri i te marena ngā huringa, inā koa i te wā e hapu ana. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, kaua e tukua kia mau koe i ngā mataku "e kino ana taku wahine ki ahau, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia whakarere". He maha ngā mea e pāngia ana e tōna tinana, ā, kei raro ia i te ahotea nui i te tinana me te hinengaro, nō reira, kāore pea he pānga o te huringa o tōna waiaro ki a koe. Waihoki mēnā kei te pāngia tō wahine e te menopause, kei te pāngia rānei e tētahi mate hauora.

6. Ka whakahe tonu koe i a ia

Ko te arotake tētahi o ngā tokowha nga kaieke hoiho o te apocalypse i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, e ai ki te tohunga hinengaro rongonui a Tākuta John Gottman. Ki te whakahe tonu koe, ki te whakaiti i tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka meinga ia kia whakaaro kāore he painga, ehara i te mea uaua ki te kite he aha ia i kino ai ki a koe. E ai ki rangahau I runga i te aromatawai i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua mārenatia e 132, ko te whakahē tonu i roto i te marena i tohu nui i ngā tohu pouri o te hoa rangatira e whakahēngia ana.

Nō reira, ki te mea kei konei koe, e amuamu ana, "He aha te kino o taku wahine ki ahau?", pātai atu ki a koe anō, koinei pea tana huarahi hei whakamātautau i a koe i tō ake rongoā? Kua hara koe ki te whakaputa i ngā kōrero whakahē pēnei i:

• "He mangere rawa koe; he pōrearea te whare!"
• "Kua kōrero atu ahau ki a koe me pēhea te mahi, he aha koe te whai noa ai i aku tohutohu?"
• "Āe, i whiwhi koe i taua whakatairanga engari he aha te take nui?"

7. Kāore ia i te makona ki te moepuku

i roto i te Papakupu a te American Psychological Association (APA), ko te whakamāramatanga o te "whaiaro" kua whakarārangihia ko "te ia o te mahi nui rawa atu, te mahi rānei i roto i te huarahi e whai hua ai ki a koe anō, ahakoa kei te ngoikore ētahi atu". Ā, e pā ana tēnei ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō whanaungatanga, tae atu ki ō whanaungatanga i roto i te rūma moe.

Ki te mea ko ō hiahia anake tāu e aro ana i te moenga, koinei pea te take e kore ai tō marena e mau. E tono ana koe i te whanaungatanga me te mea he tika māu? Ina noho tahi kōrua, ko koe anake te tangata e mahi ana i te mea e pai ana ki a koe? te whakatutuki i te O nuiKa waiho ia e koe kia haurangi, kia maroke hoki ina oti i a kōrua? Ki te mea āe, ehara i te whanaungatanga hauora nā te mea kāore ana hiahia e tutukihia ana.

8. Tērā pea kei te pouri ia

I whakaae taku hoa, "He riri tonu taku wahine, he pouri hoki. Kei roto tonu ia i te pouri, ā, i te nuinga o te wā ka pōuri ia, ka ngaro te tumanako." He tohu ēnei katoa mō te pouri. Tērā pea kāore he pānga o ngā kare ā-roto o tō wahine ki te mauahara ki a koe. Mēnā kua tawhiti ia, kua wehe atu hoki, ā, kāore e rite ki tōna āhua o mua, kaua e whakarērea ia. E hiahia ana ia ki te āwhina, ki te tautoko, me te aroha, ināianei tonu atu. Ahakoa tana ārai i a koe, toro atu ki a ia, me te mahi i tāu e taea ai. āwhina i tāu wahine e pouri ana.

9 Ngā Tohutohu hei Whakatau i te Kino o tō Wahine ki a Koe

Kua rongo kē koe i te mate wahine pōuri? I hangaia tēnei kupu i ngā wā o mua, ā, e kiia ana hoki ko te mate wahine haereere. Ina wareware tonu te tāne kore mōhio ki ngā hiahia o tana wahine, i tētahi rā pai, ka whakatau nui ia ki te wehe atu i te marena. Nō reira, me arotahi koe ki te whakaora i tō marena i mua i te tomuri rawa. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakamahi ina kite koe i ngā tohu e hiahia ana tō wahine ki te wehe atu i a koe:

1. Tīmata ki te āwhina atu

Kei te piri tonu koe ki ngā tikanga tuku iho ngā tūranga ira tangata i roto i te marena? Ki te mea āe, pātai atu ki a ia he aha atu āu e taea ai hei āwhina. Me kī atu ki a ia e mihi ana koe ki tana mahi uaua, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te tautoko i a ia i te mea pai rawa atu e taea ana e koe. Kua tae ki te wā hei whakarerekē i te kōrero "Kāore au e āwhina i taku wahine" mā te:

• Te horoi i ngā rihi i a ia e horoi ana
• Te tiaki i ngā mahi kāinga a tāu tamaiti
• Te tiki i ngā taonga kai

2. Whakamihi i ana mahi

"Ki taku whakaaro e kino ana taku wahine ki ahau. Me aha ahau ināianei?" i pātai a Eric ki tōna whaea, i muri i tana whakamātau me te whakapau kaha i ngā huarahi katoa i taea e ia te whakaaro hei whakatikatika i te raruraru ki tana wahine. He kupu tohutohu māmā tā te whaea o Eric ki a ia, "Aroha ki a ia, manaaki i a ia, maioha ki a ia, ā, kia tino mōhio ia e aroha ana koe."

Engari i te tango i ngā peke nui, me mahi i te ngā mea iti hei whakapakari i tō marenaKa taea e koe te miharo i a ia ki ngā putiputi/ngā reta aroha. Anei ētahi kupu hei whakamahi māu hei mihi ki a ia, e ai ki te Gottman Repair Checklist:

• “Mauruuru no…”
• "E mārama ana ahau"
• “E aroha ana ahau ki a koe”
• "E mihi ana ahau mō..."
• "Ehara tēnei i tō koutou raruraru. Nā TĀTOU raruraru tēnei"

3. Whakapaua he wā roa atu ki a ia

Ka noho tawhiti te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine nā te pukumahi o ā rātou mahi. Kei te piki haere tonu te āputa i waenganui i a rātou, ā, he maha ngā wā kua roa rawa te wā ka mōhio rātou ki te momo kino kua pā ki tō rātou hononga. Nō reira, ruia atu te te ngākau māhaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga ā, kia kaha ki te whakaora i tō hononga mā te:

• Te whakarite i ngā pō whakatā/ngā haerenga roa
• Te tīmata tahi i ngā mahi whakangahau hou (ngā akomanga Salsa/Bachata)
• Te hoatu i tētahi ki tētahi kia kotahi te hāora kore taputapu ia rā

Te pānui e pā ana: I whakarērea ahau e taku wahine i muri i ngā tau 40, ā, e harikoa ana ahau mōna

4. Kōrerohia he kōrero whai hua

Tumuaki Psychotherapist Gopa Khan e kī ana, "Kei te akiaki tonu ahau i aku kiritaki kia kōrero mārire ki ā rātou hoa rangatira. Engari ina kī ahau "kōrero", ehara i te mea ko te whawhai te tikanga. He kiritaki tāku, ka waea atu ki tana wahine ka kōrero i ngā mea katoa i hē ai ia, ā, ka tīmata tonu i te whawhai, hei huarahi "kōrero" māna. I te mutunga, ka panaia ia e ia i waho o te marena."

Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko te kōrero anake te mea nui, engari me kōrero tika hoki. Ki te huri ngā kōrero katoa i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō wahine hei tautohe, he mārama kei a kōrua ētahi... raruraru korero hei wikitoria. Anei ētahi mahi iti hei whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga:

• Te whakamahi i ngā kōrero "ahau" hei whakarite kia kore ia e whakaaro kei te whakapaehia ia mō tetahi mea
• Te karo i te kēmu whakapae
• Kaua e whakahāwea
• Mā te whakamahi i te reo whakamarie hei rapu i te pūtake o ō raruraru
• Whakarongo pai ki a ia, me te aroha ki a ia

5. Whakaaetia te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine

te 300% te piki ake Ko te maha o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e kōrero ana ki tētahi kaiārahi marena e tohu mārama ana kāore ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakakorekore rawa ana i te whai wāhitanga tuarua mō tā rātou marena. Kaiārahi whanaungatanga Pooja Priyamvada e tohutohu ana, "Ki te mea kei roto koe i te marena kore aroha, rapua he āwhina ngaio. He aha koe i pēnei ai ngā whakaaro? I pērā tonu, i tīmata rānei i muri i tētahi huihuinga? Ko te mea pai, me haere ngā hoa tokorua ki te kaunihera mō te marena, me te kimi tirohanga hou hei whakaoti i tēnei raruraru.

Engari, kia maumahara ehara te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i te rongoā whakamiharo. rangahau e tohu ana ko te angitu o te rongoā he nui ake te pānga ki te hinengaro o te kiritaki, kaua ki te momo rongoā. Nō reira, he pai ake te mahi a te kaiārahi mō ngā kiritaki e whakatata atu ana ki te rongoā me te tirohanga hihiri ka taea te huri, ā, he hihiri hoki ki te mahi i a rātou anō. Ki te whakaaro koe ka taea e te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te āwhina i a koe ki te hono anō ki tō hoa wahine, me whai kaiārahi mātau, mātau hoki. Te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

6. Whakatairanga i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana

I pātai tētahi o ā mātou kaipānui ki ā mātou tohunga whanaungatanga, "Kua kino rawa mai taku wahine ki ahau, ā, kua ngaro katoa tōna hiahia ki te moe tāne. Nā te mea kua hoha ia ki ahau i te moenga?" Mena kei te raru koe i te kore moe tāne i roto i te marena, ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te whakapai ake i te kounga o te moe tāne, me whakapakari koe i tō hononga ki tō wahine me te whāngai i a ia anō. te whanaungatanga ā-tinana i roto i te whanaungatanga.

He tohunga wahine Tākuta Rajan Bhonsle e kī ana, "He mea tino nui ngā whakaaturanga aroha kore-ira pērā i te pupuri ringa, te awhi, te awhi, me te kihi kia pai ake ai te hononga me te here o ngā hoa tokorua tetahi ki tetahi." Nō reira, ngana kia rongo tō wahine i te aroha i waho o te rūma moe mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakanui ake i te wera i roto.

Te pānui e pā ana: 22 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakahari i tō Wahine

7. Haere i te maero atu

E kōrero ana a Ron, he kaipānui nō Santa Fe, "E kino ana taku wahine ki ahau nā te mea i tinihanga ahau. Kei te karo ia i te titiro kanohi, ā, kua mutu tana aro ki aku kōrero katoa. Kei te whakaaro ahau kua ngaro ia i ahau ake ake. Me aha ahau?" Me mārama a Ron ko te whakapāha (ahakoa te nui o te pono) mō tētahi hara nui pērā i te kore whakapono e kore e whakatika noa i tā rāua marena, e whakaora i te mamae, e whakatau hoki i ngā take whakawhirinaki me āna. te paranoia o te hoa.  

Nō reira, ki te mea, pērā i a Ron, kua tinihanga koe i tāu wahine, ā, koia te take e kino ai ia ki a koe, me whakapau kaha koe, ahakoa ko te tikanga o tēnā he kawenga i ia meneti o te rā. Me tuwhera koe i te pukapuka, kāore e huna i ngā mea ngaro. Ki te whakapā atu te tangata i moe tahi koe ki a koe, me whakamōhio atu ki tāu wahine. Ka taea anake te whakaora i tōna manukanuka/mamae ina tino whakapono ia kāore koe e tinihanga anō i a ia.

8. Whakapaua he wā wehe

Me aha koe ina kino tō wahine ki a koe? Tukua kia whai wāhi māua ko ia ki te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto. Hei whakahaere pai i ngā kare ā-roto kaha, ngana ki te:

• Te haere ki waho/te neke ki tētahi atu rūma
• Te manawa hōhonu/te whakaaroaro
• Te whakakori tinana/te hikoi tere

"Te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga "He mea nui tēnei nā te mea ka taea hoki e ia te āwhina i a koe ki te aro atu ki ngā riri iti ka nui haere pea, ka kore e taea te whakahaere i te riri. Koinei ngā mea iti kua whakatau kē koe kia kaua e whakahuatia, pērā i te ngunguru noa i te kī, te patupatu rānei i ngā waewae i a koe e mātakitaki ana i te pouaka whakaata," te tohutohu a Kranti.

9. Mahi ki a koe ano

Ko tētahi huarahi hei whakatau i tēnei raruraru ko te arotahi ki ngā raruraru o tāu wahine, kātahi ka ngana ki te whakatika. Tērā pea he aha ngā raruraru, mai i tō āhua ki ō whāinga o te ao. Arotakehia ō ake whanonga kino, whanonga kino rānei, ā, whakapau kaha ki te whakarerekē i aua āhuatanga.

"E mea ana ahau ki aku kiritaki me mahi rātou i a rātou anō i te tuatahi. Hei whakaora i tētahi marena e tata mai ana ki ngā wai pōrearea, me whakaatu e koe tō kanohi pai rawa atu. Me whakaatu koe he tangata marino, he tangata māia ki tō hoa rangatira," te kī a Gopa.

Hei whakamutunga, kaua e kī pēnei i te "Kāore taku wahine e mahi i tetahi mea māku", "E aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine engari kāore au e pai ki a ia", "Ko ngā tohu kino anake e kitea ana e au he wahine", engari me whakaaroaro koe. Me pēhea koe e pai ake ai hei tāne? He aha atu āu e taea ai te mahi māna? E pai ana koe ki te tangata ko koe tonu? Hangaia he rārangi o ngā āhuatanga katoa e hiahiatia ana e koe i roto i tō hoa, kātahi ka whakauru i aua āhuatanga ki roto i tō ake tuakiri.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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