31 Ngā Tohu Kino Kāore tō Wahine e Aroha Ana Ki a Koe

Mā te whakaaro kua tawhiti, kua motumotu hoki tō marena, ka whakaaro pea koe mēnā kua kore te aroha o tō hoa rangatira ki a koe. He pono rawa tēnei mēnā kua kore e aro tō wahine aroha ki a koe me tō marena. Ina tupu tēnā, ka tīmata te puta o ngā tohu kāore tō wahine e aroha ana ki a koe. 

Ahakoa he mea pouri te kite i tana memeha haere o te whakaaro ki a koe, ehara i te mea he take hei mataku. Mā te titiro aroha ki te āhuatanga mai i tana tirohanga, ka taea e koe te karo i ngā tohu kino me te kimi huarahi hei whakaoho anō i tō hononga ki tō wahine. Koinei tonu te whāinga o tēnei tuhinga hei āwhina i a koe. 

Mā te āwhina o ngā māramatanga mai i ētahi o ngā tohunga hauora hinengaro me ngā tohunga whanaungatanga rongonui, kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe ki te kite i ngā tohu o te wahine kore aroha, ki te mārama ki ngā take o tēnei panonitanga o ngā kare ā-roto, me te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i te āhuatanga whānui, kia whai wāhi ai koe ki te whakaora i tō marena kei huri hei kawenga kore aroha, kore wairua mō kōrua tokorua. 

Kāore taku wahine e aroha ana ki ahau i ēnei rā — he aha te tikanga

Kia taea ai e koe te kite i ngā tohu kāore tō wahine e aroha ana ki a koe i runga i te māramatanga me te aroha, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ki te take o tēnei āhuatanga me te nui o tōna pānga ki tō marena. A te wā ka kite koe i a koe anō e tangi ana, "Kāore taku wahine e aroha ana ki ahau i tēnei wā", mā te mārama ki te take o tēnā pea ka āwhina i a koe kia kaua e riri ki a ia mō tēnā. Engari, tera pea ka akiakihia koe ki te tūhura i te take o tēnā. Tērā pea ko ngā take: 

• Nā te korenga o te kaha ki te hono me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, mai i tētahi taha, mai i ngā taha e rua rānei, kua hua ake he tawhiti aronganui 
• Nā ngā hē o te māramatanga me ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia kua panaia ia e koe 
• E kore ia e maioha ki a koe, e whakaititia ana, e kitea rānei i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, nā reira, kua riri ia ki a koe 
• Tērā pea kua wehe atu ia i ōna kare ā-roto nā te mea kua waihangahia e tōu āhua ki a ia—te whakahe tonu, ngā katakata mamae rānei—he taiao whakarihariha, ā, kua kino hoki tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō.   
• Nā te kore whakapono, ahakoa ā-tinana, ā-hinengaro rānei, kua pakaru tōna whakawhirinaki. Nā ngā patunga kare ā-roto i pā mai i taua mahi kua kai kino i ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe.   
• Kua wehe kē kōrua ko tō wahine hei takitahi, ā, kua rerekē te āhua o ōna whakaaro mō kōrua. 
• He nui ngā kawenga o te marena e pikau ana i a ia, ā, ka pēhia ia e koe, ka whakarērea rānei. Ina kore ia e tautokona, ka uaua pea te pupuri i ngā kare ā-roto o tōna aroha ki a koe.   
• Mā te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, ā-ira rānei ka ara ake ngā kare ā-roto o te whakakorenga, ā, ka memeha haere te hononga kare ā-roto i pā ki a ia ki a koe. 
• Kua roa rawa kōrua e wareware ana tetahi ki tetahi, ā, nā reira ka ahua tūroa te whanaungatanga, ka memeha haere, ka memeha haere te aroha. 

Mena he āhua rite ki tētahi o ēnei take e pā ana ki te panonitanga o ngā kare ā-roto o tō wahine ki a koe, he mea nui kia kaua e hunaia i raro i te whāriki nā te mea ka tino kino te pānga o tēnā. Anei te pānga pea o te ngaro o te aroha o tō wahine ki a koe ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga: 

• Tērā pea ka nui haere tōna noho wehe i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, ka nui haere te tawhiti me te momotu o kōrua tokorua
• Tērā pea ka tīmata he porowhita kino o ngā pakanga me ngā tautohetohe tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kāore e taea e koe te whakatere i ngā rerekētanga iti noa iho me te kore e pupuhi rawa te āhuatanga.
• Ka nui haere noa iho te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono, ā, ka hua ake he āhua makariri i roto i tō kōrua marena. 
• Nga take whakawhirinakiKa kaha ake, ka uaua ake hoki te whakatau i te riri, te mauahara, me te kawa ina kore he aroha i roto i te marena 
• Kāore pea ia e hiahia ki te whakarite mahere mō tētahi heke mai tahi me koe 
• Tērā pea ka huri tō kōrua whanaungatanga hei marena hoa noho, kaua hei hoa aroha i whakaritea kia noho hei hoa rangatira. 
• I te mea kei te heke haere tonu te hauora o tō kōrua marena, ka tīmata pea tāu wahine ki te whakaaro ki te wehe whakamātautau, ki te whakarere rānei

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu e Whakahē ana tō Wahine i a Koe (Me pēhea te Whakatau i a Ia)

31 Ngā Tohu Kāore tō Wahine e Aroha Ana ki a Koe

Ka wiri pea koe i te whakaaro kua mutu te aroha o tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, ina koa kua mōhio koe ki te pānga o tēnei ki tō marena me tō oranga. Engari, kaua e hohoro te whakatau koinā te āhua. Nā te mea he ahua pōuri ia i ēnei rā, he ahua pōuri tonu rānei. te karo i te whanaungatanga piripono ehara i te mea kei te pāngia koe e ngā tohu o tētahi wahine kāore e aroha. 

Kia mōhio koe, tera pea kei te pāngia ia e tetahi āhuatanga i te mahi, i te taha tinana rānei, kei te pouri rānei ia mō tetahi mea i mahia e koe, i kōrerotia rānei e koe. Mēnā ka huri te huringa o ngā whanonga kino hei tauira, tera pea ka āwangawanga koe. Koinei rānei te mea e pāngia ana e koe? Mā mātou koe e āwhina ki te kimi me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kāore tō wahine e aroha ana ki a koe: 

1. Te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto

E whakanui ana te tohunga hinengaro a John Gottman ko te korenga o te aro ki ngā kare ā-roto he tohu nui mō te korenga o te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ki te mea kua papaku noa iho ō kōrero ki tō wahine, kua huri noa rānei ki ngā kaupapa noa pēnei i ngā wātaka, ngā mahi, me ngā mahi o te whare, ā, e ahua ana kua kore ia e ngana ki te tīmata, ki te uru atu rānei ki ngā mahi ngā kōrero hohonu ake, he tohu tēnei kua wehe kē ia i ōna kare ā-roto. Kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro me ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe nā te mea kua huri tōna hononga kare ā-roto ki a koe. 

2. Ārai i te pā atu ki te tinana

E mōhio ana pea koe, ko te pā ā-tinana tētahi o ngā reo aroha e rima, e ai ki tā Tākuta Gary Chapman—ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te pā ā-tinana ki tētahi hoa rangatira he huarahi ki te hoatu me te whiwhi aroha. Inaianei, kāore e tika kia moepuku tēnei pā ā-tinana engari he whakaaturanga aroha me te aroha, pērā i te 

• Te awhi 
• kihi 
• Te pupuri ringa 
• Te pā atu tetahi ki tetahi i a koe e kōrero ana  

Ki te kore tō wahine e whakaatu i te aroha, engari e ahua whakamā ana hoki mēnā ka tīmata koe, he tohu tēnā kāore ia e pai ki te noho tata ki a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea kua kore tō wahine e aroha ki a koe. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Kore o te Aroha me te Whawhai i roto i te Hononga — 9 Ngā Huarahi e Pā Ana ki a Koe

3. Te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata

Nā, ki te kore tō wahine e pai ki te pā atu ki te tinana, he mea maori noa iho kia hiahia ia ki te karo moepuku pērā i te mate urutā. Mēnā kāore he take mārama pēnei i te ahotea, ngā raruraru hauora, te haputanga rānei, ko te karo i te whanaungatanga piripono a tō wahine he tohu mārama kei te ngaro haere ōna aroha ki a koe. Tērā pea, 

• Kati te tīmata i te moe tāne 
• Whakaarohia ngā take hei karo i te whanaungatanga piripono 
• Te āhua nei kāore he hiahia, he āhua motuhake ahakoa kei te piripono koe ki te taatai 

E mea ana a Esther Perel, he kaiwhakaora moepuku, "Ko te ngaronga o te hiahia moepuku he tohu i ngā raruraru kare ā-roto hohonu ake." He pono rawa tēnei mō te ngaronga o te hiahia o ngā wāhine ki te moepuku nā te mea he hononga tata te moepuku me ngā kare ā-roto ki a rātou.  

4. E whakanui ana ia i ētahi atu i a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o te wahine kore aroha ko te tīmatanga o tana whakatairanga i ngā mea nui katoa o tōna ao i a koe. Tērā pea ka kite koe, 

• He atawhai, he aroha hoki ia ki ngā tamariki, ki ngā mōkai rānei o te whare, engari kāore e aro nui ki a koe. 
• Kei te rite ia ki ngā mahere me ōna hoa, ngā hoa mahi rānei, engari he take tonu tāna kia kaua e whai i tētahi mea e kīia ana e kōrua kia mahia ngātahi. 
• Kua rukuhia e ia a ia ki te mahi me ngā kawenga o te whare, ā, kāore he wāhi i roto i tōna ao mōu. 

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te whakarere moe, ā, me pēhea e taea ai e ia te whakaora i te marena?

5. Te whakahē tonu

Ina kore e aroha tō wahine ki a koe, ka tīmata pea ia ki te kimi hapa i a koe, ā, ka riri ia ki ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe. Hei tauira, 

• Tērā pea ka tīmata ia ki te moe i tētahi atu rūma nā te mea ka akiakihia ia e tō ngongoro ki runga i te pakitara 
• Ka hurihia e ia ōna kanohi ina mahi koe i ngā mahi o te whare 
• Kāore ia i te harikoa ki te āhua o tāu whakahaere i ngā mea katoa, ā, ka kōrero whakatoi ia pēnei i te, "Ka taea e koe te mahi tika i tētahi mea?" 
• Ka mahia e ia ngā kōrero whakapouri mō tō āhua, tō mahi, ō mea e pai ana ki a koe me ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe 

E tohu ana a Tākuta Gottman i te whakahē hei tētahi o ngā "Tokowha nga Kaieke hoiho o te Apocalypse"i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ki te kore tō wahine e harikoa ki tetahi mea e mahia ana e koe, e kōrerohia ana rānei e koe, he tohu whakatūpato tēnā kei te raru tō kōrua marena. 

6. Ka karohia e ia ngā kōrero mō te heke mai

E mea ana a Tākuta Sue Johnson, he tohunga matua mō te Whakaora Hinengaro, "I roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga roa rānei, ko te korenga o te aro ki ngā mahi whakamahere ā meake nei he tohu i te kore o te hiahia." Mena kua mutu tāu wahine ki te whakarite mahere mō ā meake nei māua—ahakoa ko tō hararei e whai ake nei, ko tō reti rānei—he take tēnei hei āwangawanga. Ko te kore e aro ki ngā mahere ā meake nei, te whakarerekē rānei i te kaupapa mena ka whakahuatia e koe, he tohu kino anō hoki mena ka puta tonu mai. 

7. Kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakatau i ngā tautohe

Tērā pea i roto i tō marena he wā i whakararuraru ai tō wahine i ngā pakanga, i ngā whakahē rānei, ā, i hiahia ia ki te "kōrero mō taua mea" me te "whakatau i te raruraru". Tērā pea i reira ngā ture pēnei i te "kaua e moe me te riri" me te "kaua rawa e tukua kia roa te whawhai mō ngā rā e toru". Engari i tētahi wā ka rerekē. 

Ināianei, ko tōna kore aro ki te pakanga, te kore e uru ki ngā tautohetohe, me tōna hiahia ki te whakaoti rapanga ka whakamātao i a koe. Ina rerekē ō whakaaro, ka mea ia, "Ahakoa pēhea, meatia tāu e hiahia ai," ā, kāore e taea e koe te ārai i te whakaaro, "Kāore taku wahine e aroha ana ki ahau." Āe, kāore koe i te hē. E whakaae ana te tohunga whanaungatanga a Tākuta Terri Orbuch ko te kore o te hiahia ki te taupatupatu tautohe e tohu ana i te wehenga o te ngākau i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

8. He tangata tiaki tonu ia

Ko te tiaki i te tangata tētahi atu o ngā "Kaieke Hōiho Tokowhā o te Apocalypse" i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, e ai ki a Tākuta Gottman. Mena he mea noa mā tō wahine te whakautu tiaki i a ia anō ina kōrero koe mō ngā āwangawanga whanaungatanga, ina ngana rānei koe ki te whakatika i ō raruraru, tera pea nā te mea kua māharahara ia. Nō reira, ka tahuri pea ia ki te karo i te whakapae, ki te takaro rānei i te kāri a te patunga, me te kī pēnei i te, "Kei te whakapae tonu koe i ahau," "Āe, nāku katoa te he," kaua e whakarongo me te ngana ki te mahi tahi me koe ki te kimi i tētahi otinga.

Te pānui e pā ana: 17 Ngā Tohu e Hiahia ana tō Wahine ki te Whakarē i a Koe

9. Kua aro nui ake ia ki tōna mana motuhake

Nā, kaua e hē te whakaaro. Te tiaki i tō te mana motuhake i te wā e noho ana i roto i te whanaungatanga he tikanga hauora. Heoi, ki te nui rawa te tango, he tohu pea tēnei mō te raruraru. E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Harriet Lerner, "Ina taupokina te whanaungatanga e te hiahia mō te tū motuhake, he tohu pea tēnei mō te wehenga atu." Tērā pea ka waiho koe kia pouri, "Kei te ngaro taku wahine" nā te mea kei waho tonu ia e mahi ana i tana ake mea. Hei tauira, tera pea ia, 

• Tīmatahia ngā mahi whakangahau hou 
• Haere takitahi 
• Kia nui ake te wa me o hoa 

10. Kāore ia e whakawhirinaki ana ki a koe 

Tērā pea ka mutu te kōrero a te wahine kua ngaro te aroha ki tana tāne ki a ia. I roto i te whakamārama he aha tēnei he raruraru, e kī ana a Tākuta Dana McNeil, he kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mō te marena, "Ina heke te whakapuakitanga kare ā-roto, ka whai ake te piripono kare ā-roto."

Ina mutu tāu wahine ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro, ōna kare ā-roto, ōna wheako o ia rā, ōna wehi, me ōna tumanako ki a koe—ā, ka tahuri kē ia ki ōna hoa, ki tōna whānau rānei, ka tīmata rānei ki te huna i ngā mea ki a ia anō—ka tūpono koe ka ngaro atu tō hononga ki a ia. Tērā pea kāore koe e mōhio ki ana āhuatanga, ki ōna kare ā-roto rānei. Ka whakanui noa iho tēnei i te tawhiti kua ngokingoki haere ki roto i tō kōrua marena.  

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu Kāore e Taea te Whakatikatika i tō Hononga

11. Te kore e pai ki te mahi i te whanaungatanga

Ko te ngaronga o te aroha ki te hoa rangatira ka hua ake i te kore hiahia ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga. Koia te take ko te kore o te hiahia ki te mahi ki te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga tetahi o ngā tohu nui o te wahine kore aroha. Ka puta pea tēnei i roto i ngā kupu, 

• Te whakakore i ngā whakaaro mō te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te rapu āwhina rānei 
• Kāore e whakaatu ana i te hiahia ki te whakapau moni wā kounga tahi 
• Me te whakautu me te ngākau pouri, me te mea, "He aha te take?"
  

12. Kua huna ia i tōna ao 

E ai ki te tohunga hinengaro, ki a Tākuta Ramani Durvasula, ehara i te mea he tohu noa iho te ngaro o te aroha, engari he tohu anō hoki mō te kore pono o te ngākau, o te tinana rānei. Mēnā he tūpato ia mō āna mahi, ka noho motuhake ia ki te wāhi kei reira ia, ā, ka tīmata ki te huna i tana waea pūkoro, ki te whakarerekē kupuhipa rānei i ngā wā katoa, kei te whakaatu ia i ētahi tohu o te wahine tinihanga. Me tino manukanuka koe ki tēnei, nā te mea ehara i te mea ko te kore aroha o tō wahine ki a koe anake te mea e manukanuka ana koe, engari ko te mea pea kei te aroha ia ki tētahi atu.  

13. Ka tīmata ia ki te whakarite i a koe ki ētahi atu

Ko tētahi atu tohu matua kua kore tō wahine e aroha ki a koe, ko tana whakataurite tonu i a koe ki ētahi atu tāne, ki tō whanaungatanga rānei ki ētahi atu tāne. Tērā pea ka kōrero ia i ngā kupu mamae pēnei i te,  

• “He aha koe e kore ai e rite ki [te tāne a tō hoa]?” 
• "Āe, me i whai hoa aroha ahau pērā i te hoa o [tētahi atu]" 
• Ki tētahi atu: “He tino aroha koe. Āe, me i rite ake tō [ingoa] ki a koe.”

tenei mahanga whakatairite e whakaatu ana i te mārama o te kore makona, koinei pea te take i rerekē ai ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā tautohe whanaungatanga e whakamate ana i tō hononga

14. Ngā tautohetohe tonu mō ngā take iti noa iho

E mea ana te tohunga whanaungatanga, a Tākuta Judith Wright, "Ko te pakanga tonu mō ngā take iti he tohu pea nō te tawhiti o te kare ā-roto i puta mai i ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia." Ki te rapu koe i ngā tohu kāore tō wahine e aroha ana ki a koe, kia aro ki tana urupare ki ngā tautohetohe mō ngā take iti noa. 

Ka puta ake rānei ngā rerekētanga iti pēnei i te wāhi kai, te take rānei kāore i rongoatia ngā kākahu, hei tautohetohe nui e whakahē ana i tō kōrua whanaungatanga katoa? Mena koinā, kei te raru tō wahine i ētahi āwangawanga mō te whanaungatanga, ā, kua rerekē pea ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe.

15. Kua mutu tana aro ki ō kare ā-roto

Ko te wahine e ngaro ana te aroha ki tana tāne, ka noho noa iho ia hei tangata kāore e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tana tāne. E ai ki te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Tākuta Lisa Firestone, "Tērā pea ka hua ake tēnei i te te kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto i roto i te whanaungatanga, ina kore tō wahine e aro ki ō kare ā-roto, e tuku tautoko, e whakamarie rānei.” Ko te mea kino rawa atu, tera pea ka riri, ka kore rānei e aro mai mēnā ka whakapuaki koe i ō kare ā-roto ki a ia. 

16. Ka nui ake tōna aro ki tōna āhua

Ina tīmata te wahine ki te ngaro te aroha ki tana tāne, ka huri pea tōna aro ki a ia anō, ka nui ake te wā me te kaha e pau ana ki te ātaahua o tōna āhua. Ko te raruraru, kāore taua mahi e pai mōu. He maha tonu āna kakahu whakapaipai mō ngā haerenga me ngā huihuinga pāpori kāore koe e uru ana, engari tera pea ka āhua kore ia e aro ki tōna āhua i roto i ngā mahere e uru ana koe. 

Tērā pea koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e pai ana tō wahine ki tētahi atu tāne. E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro a Tākuta Wendy Walsh, "Ka taea e ngā panonitanga o te āhua me ngā whanonga te tohu i te hiahia kia whakamanahia mai i waho." E mārama ana kāore ia e hiahia ana ki taua whakamana mai i a koe. Ko te pātai, ko wai rā?

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu e Whakahē ana tō Hoa i a Koe, ā, Kāore hoki e Āwangawanga

17. Kāore ia e aro atu ki ngā kanohi

Ka kitea anō hoki ngā tohu o te wahine kore aroha i roto i tana reo tinana e karapoti ana i a koe. Ko tētahi tohu ko tana hiahia kia kaua e titiro kanohi, he momo hononga nui tēnei i waenganui i te tokorua e whakatairanga ana i te hononga kare ā-roto. Ki te karo tō wahine i te titiro mai ki a koe i a ia e kōrero ana, ā, e pai ake ana ki te huna i tōna mata ki roto i tana waea ahakoa kei te kōrero koe ki a ia, kei te titiro rānei ki konei, ki reira, kei te tuku pōhēhē ia i tētahi karere mārama e kī ana kāore ia i te pai, kāore rānei e aro. 

18. Kāore ia e hae ana i ēnei rā

"I he paitini te hae kino"... he taumata āwangawanga e whakaatu ana i te haumi kare ā-roto," te whakamārama a Tākuta Oburch. Ina memeha te aroha, ka memeha hoki te hae, te kore rānei e māia ki ō taunekeneke me ētahi atu wāhine. Ki te kōrero koe i tētahi mea i mua i meinga ai ia kia hae—pērā i tētahi hoa o mua e kuhu ana ki ō DM, he tina tahi me tētahi hoa aroha o te whare wānanga, he haere atu rānei mō tētahi hui tahi me tētahi hoa mahi wahine—ā, kāore ia e whakaatu ana i te āwangawanga, ka tino mōhio koe kāore tō wahine e aroha ana ki a koe i ēnei rā. 

19. E amuamu ana ia mō tōna 'mauhere'

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua kore tō wahine e aroha ki a koe? Āe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino mamae o tōna hinganga i te aroha ko tana amuamu mō te noho pūmau i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka puta mai pea tēnei hei kōrero e whakaatu ana i tōna pouri, 

• "Aue, me i kore ahau e marena i a koe"
• "E te Atua, me i taea e au te haere ki tētahi wāhi, ā, kāore e hoki mai anō"
• "Me i taea e au te tīmata anō..."

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta John Amodeo, he tohunga mō te marena, ina rongo te hoa kua mauheretia, tera pea kua whakaaro kē rātou ki te wehe. Mena kua maha ngā kōrero a tō wahine, he tohu whakatūpato tēnei kei te tū pakari tō kōrua marena. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatika, me mahi koe ināianei.  

20. He nui ake tana whakapau kaha ki ētahi atu whanaungatanga

I te mea kua kore ia e rongo i te aroha, te ngākau aroha, me te manaaki i hono ai ia ki a koe, tera pea ka heke iho koe i tana rārangi kaupapa matua. Tērā pea ka tīmata tāu wahine ki te whakapau i te wā me te kaha ki te poipoi i ētahi atu whanaungatanga nui o tōna ao. Hei tauira, tera pea ia

• Whakapaua tōna ahiahi ki ngā tamariki, āwhina i a rātou ki ngā mahi kāinga, mātakitaki pouaka whakaata me rātou, tākaro kēmu papa, kōrero ki a rātou
• Tīmata ki te kōrero me te toro atu ki ōna mātua, ki ōna tuākana, ki ōna teina rānei, kia nui ake te wā 
• Whakapaua ngā hāora ki te kōrero, ki te tuku karere rānei ki ōna hoa, kaua ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe 
• Haereere roa me te mōkai o te whānau, whakapaua rānei ngā wiki mutunga ki te whakapaipai i a ia, kaua ki te noho tahi me koe.  

Te pānui e pā ana: He nui ake tō aro ki te whanaungatanga i tō hoa rangatira?

21. Te whakaiti i te kaha ki ngā mahi tahi

I te kitenga i ngā panonitanga o tana whanonga, ka mōhio pea koe, "I aroha taku wahine ki ahau i mua engari kua kore ināianei", ā, ka whakatau koe ki te mahi i tetahi mea mōna. Nō reira, ka tū ake koe ka tīmata ki te whakarite mahere me te whakaaro kia mahi tahi i ngā mea - te tirotiro anō i ngā hiahia, i ngā mahi whakangahau rānei, te whakaaro rānei i ngā whakaaro hou kia noho tahi kōrua. Heoi, i te kore e harikoa mōna, ka whakahē noa tō wahine i aua mea katoa i runga i tētahi take, i tētahi take rānei. Hei tauira, 

• Ka mea koe, “E hoa, me tunu tahi tāua. Kua roa tāua e kore e mahi i tēnā.” Ka whakahoki ia, “Āe, kāore i a tāua ngā kai katoa.”
• Ka pātai koe, "Kei te hiahia koe ki te haere ki te kiriata i tēnei mutunga wiki?" Ka mea ia, "He mahere kē āku."
• Ka kī atu koe, “Me haere tāua mō te mutunga wiki, ko tāua anake.” Ka mea ia, “He nui ngā mahi kei te mahi, kāore e taea e au.” 

E whakaatu ana tēnei he pai ake ki a ia te noho ko ia anake, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia karo i tō kamupene ahakoa pēhea, nā te mea he nui te āwangawanga. te momotuha hinengaro i roto i te hononga.

22. He mea whakararuraru tonu ia

Mena kei te pukumahi tonu tō wahine, kāore e tino kitea ana i a kōrua e noho tahi ana, tera pea he huarahi huna tēnei hei wehe atu i a kōrua. Tērā pea ka kite koe i a ia e tirotiro ana i ngā īmēra, e panuku ana rānei i tana waea ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te kōrero ki a ia, ā, he āhua koretake ana whakautu. 

23. Ngā huringa kare ā-roto maha

Ki te kore koe e mōhio he aha te mea ka whakapataritari i tō wahine, ā, ka kitea pea koe e ia anō haere i runga i nga anga hua manu i tōna taha nā te mea ka huri tōna wairua mai i te pōuri me te kaha ki te pukuriri me te riri, kāore he take, he take rānei e kitea ana, tera pea nā te mea kāore ia i te harikoa ki te marena ki tētahi kua kore e arohaina e ia. Ka hua ake pea tēnei i te nui o te taumahatanga me te ahotea i roto i te whanaungatanga. 

24. Ka mutu tana mahi whānau

Ahakoa e whakapau kaha ana ia ki te whakatipu i ngā hononga whānau, kāore pea ia e tino hihiri ina whai wāhi koe ki ngā mahi whānau pēnei i ngā haerenga, ngā huihuinga, tae noa ki ngā kai. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe he maha tonu ana whakawātea i a ia anō i ēnei huihuinga, ā, ahakoa ka tae atu ia ki aua huihuinga, he noho puku tonu ia. He tohu nui tēnei mō te raruraru whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: He riri tonu taku wahine, ā, he pōuri hoki: Ngā take me ngā huarahi hei whakatau

25. Kāore ia e rapu whawhai ana ki a koe i ēnei rā

E ai ki te kōrero, me āwangawanga koe ina mutu tana whawhai ki a koe. He tohu tēnei kua whakapau kaha te wahine ki te whakatika i ngā mea i whakaaro ia kāore i te whai hua i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, kua mutu inaianei. Kāore ia e aro ki ngā take i whakararuraru i a ia i mua—pēnei i a koe e mahi pō ana, e kore rānei e whai wā mōna.Te wehenga kare-a-roto "he maha ngā wā ka rite ki te kore aro," te kī a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Tākuta Shirley Glass. Ki te kore koe e mahara ki te wā whakamutunga i tīmata ai ia ki te whawhai ki a koe nā te mea i mamae ia, i pouri, i tukua rānei, kua tata ngaro ia i a koe i te taha kare ā-roto. 

26. Kāore ia e māharahara ki ngā tautohetohe

Ahakoa ka puta he tautohetohe, kāore ia e manukanuka ana ki tēnā, pērā i mua. Kāore ia e ngana ana ki te whakaatu i ōna tirohanga ki a koe, ki te āwhina rānei i a koe kia mārama ki āna e hiahia ana mai i a koe. Engari, ka mawehe atu pea ia i ngā tautohetohe, mā te kati i a ia anō, mā te kore e uru atu, mā te wehe atu rānei i te rūma. E tohu ana tēnei kua whakakapia te aroha i pā ki a ia mōu e te kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto.  

27. Kāore e mahi patunga tapu ana

He wahine kua i whakarērea tana marena ka tīmata te tangata ki te whakatakoto i a ia anō me āna hiahia ki te tuatahi, i ngā wā katoa. Nō reira, ka kite pea koe kāore ia e pai ki te mahi patunga tapu, ki te whakaae rānei ki ngā whakarerekētanga me ngā whakatikatika i ngā wā o mua. Hei tauira, ka whakakahore pea ia ki te akiaki i tētahi hui ki te mahi nā te mea me haere tahi koe me ia ki tētahi tina mahi, ka whakaae rānei ia ki te whakakore i tētahi tina me ngā hoa mahi nā te mea me mahi pō koe, ā, me tumanako ia kia noho ia ki te kāinga ki te tiaki i ngā tamariki, he mea kua whakaaetia e koe i mua.  

Te pānui e pā ana: Te patunga tapu i roto i te whanaungatanga - āhea, he aha, me te nui?

28. Kei te wehewehe ia i ngā pūtea

Ko te wehewehe i ngā pūtea he tohu nui mō te marena, e tohu ana kua mutu te aroha o tō wahine ki a koe, engari kei te whakaaroaro anō pea ia mō te heke mai o te marena. Kia mōhio koe kei roto tō marena i te raruraru mēnā ka kite koe i ēnei tohu o te korenga o te whai wāhi ki te pūtea, 

• Kua mutu tana takoha ki ngā whāinga pūtea ōrite pēnei i te penapena mō te whare, te whakamahere hararei rānei.
• Kua whakatuwheratia e ia tētahi pūkete peeke motuhake 
• Kei te wehe atu ia i ngā haumitanga tahi, ā, kei te mahi takitahi ia 
• Ka kitea e koe he penapena āna kāore koe e mōhio ana mōna

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Rautaki Wehe Tūkino me ngā Huarahi hei Whakaeke i a rātou

29. Kua roa ia kāore i mihi ki a koe 

He mea nui ngā mihi me ngā whakaū ki te whakaū i te hononga o te tokorua i roto i te wā. Nā Tākuta Gary Chapman, te kaituhi o The 5 Love Languages, e whakanui ana he mea nui ngā kupu whakaū mō te hononga kare ā-roto, ā, ko te ngaronga o aua kupu he tohu i te kore aro. Mena kua iti haere ngā mihi me ngā kupu whakamihi, ā, kāore ia e maioha ana ki ō whakatutukitanga, ki tō āhua rānei, ahakoa he tika, kia mōhio koe he hohonu rawa te momotu kare ā-roto. 

30. Kua ako ia ki te pārekareka ki te noho mokemoke

He tika tāu whakaaro, "Kāore taku wahine e aroha ana ki ahau i ēnei rā," mēnā he pai ake ki a ia te noho mokemoke i te noho tahi me koe. "He pai te noho wehe, engari kāore e pai te karo tonu," te kī a Tākuta Walsh. Mēnā ka whiriwhiri ia ki te hikoi ko ia anake ahakoa ka tono koe kia haere tahi rāua, me haere takitahi ki te wāhi i hiahia tonu ai kōrua ki te haere tahi, me te whakapau i tōna wā waatea ki te pukapuka, ki tana waea rānei, kaua ki te noho tahi me koe, he tohu mārama tēnā kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe i ēnei rā. 

31. E kōrero ana ia mō te wehenga

He mea nui tēnei, ā, ka pā mai pea ki a koe, ahakoa kua kite koe i ngā tohu kua kore e aroha tō wahine ki a koe. Ki te tīmata ia ki te whakaaro he wehe whakawa mā te maka rānei i te kupu D i roto i ia tautohe, e tohu ana tēnei kei te whakaaro nui ia ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. 

Me pēhea te aro atu ki ngā tohu o te wahine kore aroha 

I roto i te whakaaro ohorere, i pāngia a Patrick, he kaitātari haumarutanga nō Niu Ioka, e te kitenga, "Kāore taku wahine i te harikoa i ēnei rā. Ki taku whakaaro kua ngaro tōna aroha ki ahau.” Engari i te tuku i a ia ki te ao tūroa, me te mātakitaki i te pakaru o tana marena, i whakatau ia ki te mahi. “Nā te mārama ki te mamae me te pōuri o taku wahine i whakatuwhera ōku kanohi ki te wāhi i hapa ai ahau i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, i whakatau ahau ki te tango i te kawenga o te whakatika i tā māua hononga pakaru. 

"E hia marama te roa mōna ki te whakapono he pono aku mahi me aku whakaaro. Engari i tana kitenga i taku whakapau kaha ki te whakaora i tā māua marena, ka tīmata ia ki te tūtaki ki ahau i waenganui, ā, ka taea e māua te hono anō." Mena ka taea e Patrick, ka taea hoki e koe—mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakapau kaha. Anei ētahi tohutohu e rima i tautokona e ngā tohunga hei āwhina i a koe ki te aro atu ki ngā tohu o te wahine kāore e aroha ana, ā, tera pea ka huri i tō whanaungatanga:

1. Kia mārama ki te pānga o ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe 

Ahakoa ngā āhuatanga i kore ai tō wahine e aroha ki a koe, tērā pea ka pāngia koe e tōna kore aro me tōna kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto. Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga uaua ko te tuku i a koe anō kia rongo i te whānuitanga o ngā kare ā-roto e puta mai ana i tēnei huringa o tō whanaungatanga. 

Tukua kia pōuri koe, kia mamae, kia pōhēhē rānei, me te kore e ngana ki te pehi i aua kare ā-roto. He āwhina te whakaaroaro ki ō kare ā-roto mā te tuhi i tētahi rātaka, te whakaaroaro, te kōrero rānei ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei. He mea noa te pōuri i ngā wā e ngaro ana te aroha, ā, awhiawhi mai.

2. Kōrero mā te mahorahora, engari kaua e whakapaetia

E mea ana a Tākuta Gottman, "Me waiho te pakanga hei wāhi mō ngā hoa e rua ki te ako atu mō rātou anō me tō rātou whanaungatanga. Me whakatata atu ki tēnei me te hiahia nui, kaua e whakapae." Mō tēnā, me mahi koe i te kore whakahāwea me te korero tuwhera kia taea ai te whakapā atu ki tētahi hoa kua mutu pea tōna ngākau. 

Mā te whakatata atu ki te kōrero me te aroha mā te whakamahi i ngā kupu "ahau" kia kore ai e puta he whakapae, ka rerekē pea te āhua. Hei tauira, kaua e kī, "Kua tawhiti koe, kua noho puku hoki", engari me kī atu, "Kua tawhiti ahau i ēnei rā, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki te mārama ki ō whakaaro mō māua." Mā tēnei ka whai wāhi tō wahine ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, ā, ka mārama hoki koe ki te tūnga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Mea Ka Tūpono Ina Kati te Wahine i te Aroaro – Me Pēhea te Hono Anō

3. Rapua he awhina ngaio

Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te aroha o taku wahine ki ahau, e pātai ana koe? Whakawhirinaki ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro marena rānei, hei āwhina i a koe. Ina kaha rawa te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka taea e te kaunihera te āwhina i a koe ki te rapu i te pūtake o te take, me te ārahi i a koe ki te whakaora. Whakaaro whakaipoipo faaipoipo Ā, tirohia mēnā kei te tuwhera tō wahine ki tēnā. Ki te pērā, he iti noa te tumanako mō te āheinga ki te whakaora i tō kōrua marena. Ki te ngaro tōna whakapono ki te heke mai o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ā, ki te whakaaro ia kāore he mea hei whakatika, whakaarohia te toro atu ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro takitahi hei whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto me te whiwhi tirohanga whānui mō te whanaungatanga. Whakamahia aua māramatanga hei mahi i tāu wāhanga ki te whakaora anō i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. 

4. Te arotahi ki te tipu whaiaro

Kaua e aro nui ki te ngaronga o te aroha, engari arotahi ki tō tipu ake, kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe. Ka āwhina tēnei ki te hanga anō i tō kiritau-whaiaro. Ka miharo koe ki te kite i te āhua o te tirohanga ki a koe anō i roto i tētahi tirohanga hou ka āwhina anō hoki ki te whakahou i tō whanaungatanga i ngā huarahi ohorere. "Ehara i te mea ka whakarei ake te whakapai ake i a koe anō i tō ake oranga engari ka whakapai ake hoki i te kounga o tō whanaungatanga mā te neke atu i te arotahi mai i te whakapae ki te tipu," te kī a Tākuta Orbuch. Anei ētahi huarahi hei whakarite i te whanaketanga whaiaro, 

• Tīmatahia ngā mahi whakangahau hou
• Arotahi ki to mahi 
• Whakatakotoria me te whai i ngā whāinga whakapakari tinana
• Whakapaua te wā ki te mahi i ngā mahi e whakamanawa ai koe, e whakamanawa ai hoki

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Tuku i te Tangata e Arohaina Nuitia ana e Koe

5. Whakatauhia te wā e tika ana kia tukuna

I ētahi wā, ka tino hōhonu te pakaru o te whanaungatanga, ahakoa ō mahi tino pai, kāore pea koe e kaha ki te whakaara anō i tō hononga ki tō wahine. Mena kei te mahi koe i ngā mea katoa hei whakahoki mai i tōna aroha engari kāore anō ia kia rite ki te tūtaki ki a koe i waenganui, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kāore tō wahine e hiahia ki te hohou i te rongo. Koinei te tohu nui kua tae ki te wā ki te tuku me te arotahi ki te whakaora me te whakaora i tēnei raruraru. "Ko te tuku i tētahi whanaungatanga kāore e whai hua ana ki a koe he mahi tiaki i a koe anō. Ka tukuna he wāhi mō te whakaora, te tipu, me te tūponotanga o te aroha ā muri ake nei," te tuhituhi a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Tākuta Lisa Marie Bobby i roto i tana pukapuka. Exaholics: Te Wetewete i tō Waranga ki tētahi Aroha o Mua.

Thoughts Final

Ehara ēnei tohu kua whakarārangihia e mātou i te tohu tino tika kua ngaro te aroha o tō wahine, engari he tohu tino mārama kei te hē tetahi mea i roto i tō kōrua marena. Ko te whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga me whai manawanui kare ā-roto, he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, me te manaaki i a koe anō. Ahakoa ka taea te whakaora i te whanaungatanga, ka āwhina ēnei rautaki i a koe ki te whakatere i te koretake me te kimi i te taurite kare ā-roto.

21 Ngā Tohu Mārama Kāore ia e Hiahia ki te Hononga ki a Koe

13 Ngā Tohu Ngāwari Kāore tō Wahine e Aroaro Ana ki a Koe — Me Ngā Mea e 5 Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

15 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Ngaro te Hiahia o tō Hoa ki te Hononga

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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