7 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina Kua Ngaro Koe i te Aroha ki To Tāne

He uaua ngā whanaungatanga. I mua i tō mōhio, ko te whanaungatanga i meinga ai koe kia pōrearea, kua noho hei wheua e mau ana i roto i tō korokoro. I a koe e kite haere ana kua ngaro te aroha i roto i te marena, ka waiho koe kia whakaaroaro ki te pātai - "Me aha koe ina ngaro te aroha ki tō tāne?" Ka tino pōuriuri ngā mea i a koe e raru ana i te awhiowhio o ngā kare ā-roto e uaua ana ki te pehi.

Ko ia whanaungatanga he hua o ngā mahi me te wā i whakatapua ki ngā kare ā-roto hohonu; ngā kare ā-roto e whakaarohia ana ka mau tonu mō te wa katoa. Tērā pea ka ārahi te hanganga pāpori i a koe ki te whakaaro, "Te hinga i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga roa? Ka taea rānei tēnā? Ā, me pēhea e kitea ai ngā tohu kua hinga koe i te aroha ki tō tāne?" Ahakoa he mea noa te haere i roto i ngā wā uaua mō tētahi tokorua, ko te hinga i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga roa he mea kāore i te kōrerohia, i te mōhiotia, i te whakaaetia rānei. Engari whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou, kāore koe i te mokemoke. He tino pono, he mea noa hoki.

Ehara i te mea ngawari ki te tarai i nga hononga kua ngaro to ratou ngakau nui me te ngakau nui. I a koe e ngana ana ki te aro ki nga huringa o ou kare-a-roto, kei te ohooho tonu koe ano he pendulum i waenga i te noho me te wehe.

Engari i mua i tō waea atu, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne? He aha ngā tohu? Ā, ko te mea nui, me aha koe ina kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne? Me rapu tātou i tētahi whakautu mō ēnei mea katoa, me ētahi atu mea anō hoki, me tā tātou kaiako me te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro a Joie Bose , he tohunga ki te tohutohu i te hunga e pāngia ana e te mārenatanga tukino, te wehenga, me ngā mahi moepuku.

I mua i te neke atu ki āna aratohu me āna tohutohu mō te ora i te wā e ngaro ai te aroha i roto i te marena, me ruku hohonu tātou ki te kaupapa kia pai ake ai te mārama.

He mea noa te kore aroha ki tō hoa rangatira?

He kare ā-tangata te hinga ki te aroha me te hinga ki te kore aroha. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe "Kei te tere rawa taku hinga ki te aroha " me te kore e taea te aukati, te pupuri rānei. I roto i te wā, tērā pea ka rite ki te "Kāore au e aroha ki a ia" me te kore whakahau i tō ngākau. He mea noa te rongo i te memeha haere o te aroha.

Ehara i te mea tapu te ngaro o te aroha i roto i te marena. He mea maori te tipu haere i roto i te wā. He maha ngā wāhanga o te whanaungatanga ka huri nui ngā kare ā-roto. I ētahi wā, ka kite koe, "Kāore taku tāne e mahi ana māku, kua mutu taku mahi ki a ia!" Engari i te mutunga, kāore e taea te ārai i te hinga anō ki a ia.

E ai ki a Joie, "Kāore e taea e te tangata te ngaro te aroha ki tētahi. Ko te mea anake ka memeha te ngākau nui nā ngā āhuatanga." Nō reira, i ia wā ka whakaaro koe kua ngaro te aroha ki tāu tāne, kei te memeha haere, kaua ki te memeha haere. Ko tō āhua o nāianei te mea e meinga ai koe kia memeha haere tō aroha.

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He aha ngā tohu o te hinganga o te aroha ki tāu tāne?

He rerekē ngā whanaungatanga katoa. Ko te mea nui ko ō kare ā-roto mō tō hoa rangatira, me te pānga o ō kare ā-roto i aua wā pōuri. Kāore e taea te kī ko te mutunga o te whanaungatanga te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Kāore he tautohe e tohu ana kua kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe.

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne? He tukanga āta haere te ngaro o te aroha i roto i tētahi hononga roa. Ehara i te mea ohorere, i te wā poto rānei. He maha ngā tohu hei tohu i te pakaru o tō marena . Ka haria tātou e tēnei ki te pātai e whai ake nei – Me aha koe ina ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne? Kei te aro atu koe ki te take, kei te ngana rānei koe ki te neke atu i te marena? Me ngana tātou ki te rapu tirohanga mō te kaupapa mai i a Joie.

1. Kāore koe e aro ki a ia i ēnei rā

"Ko te tohu tuatahi," te kī a Joie, "ka tīmata koe ki te kore e aro ki ngā mea e pā ana ki te tangata - pai, kino rānei." Kāore koe e aro ana ki tōna oranga. Ahakoa e hono tonu ana te aroha me te nui o te TLC (te manaaki ngawari), e mōhio ana koe kua ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne i te mea kāore he āhua manaaki o mua. Ka haere tonu a Joie, "Ko tō āwangawanga anake ko te mea mehemea he kaupapa i roto i tōna ao e hiahia ana kia mahi koe i tō taha, kāore rānei. He mea haumanu tēnā." Ka puta ō kare ā-roto mōna i a koe e noho wehe ana, e mātao ana hoki.

2. He raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kei roto i te whanaungatanga

Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te kī ki ngā whanaungatanga katoa. Ka hono i te tawhiti i waenganui i te tokorua, ka whakatata atu hoki. E whakaaro ana a Joie ko te piki haere o ngā āputa whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tētahi atu āhuatanga nui e tohu ana i te memeha haere o te aroha. Ko te kore whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te tohu o te korenga o te whanaungatanga. Kāore he kōrero whai tikanga ki a kōrua. Kei te ngoikore ō pūkenga whakarongo. Kāore koe e pātai ana i ngā pātai whakamere kia pai ake ai te mārama tetahi ki tetahi. He tohu tēnei kua kore koe e aroha ki tāu tāne.

3. Kāore koe e moemoeā ana mō tō hoa rangatira i ēnei rā

He mārama noa iho tēnei. E kī ana a Joie kia pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Ina tīmata koe ki te moe tahi, he moemoeā tonu rānei koe mō ētahi atu tāngata?" Mena he whakaae tō whakautu, ā, i te wā e moe tahi ana koe, kei te whakaaro koe, "Kāore au e aroha ki a ia i ēnei rā", he tohu mārama tēnei kua memeha haere te aroha. Kāore ia i te hoa aroha māu. Ahakoa kei roto koe i tana awhi, kei a koe tētahi atu tangata kei roto i tō hinengaro. He maha ngā wā ka kitea te aroha i waho atu i a ia e ngā marena uaua. I tēnei wā, ka neke te pūtake o tō aroha, ka kitea he tautoko i tētahi atu tangata. Ahakoa kāore koe e aro atu ana ki tētahi atu, e aroha ana rānei ki tētahi atu, kua tino ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne.

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4. He harikoa ake koe i tawhiti atu i tō hoa rangatira

Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne? Ko te wā kounga e noho tahi ana me tō tāne he rite ki te taumaha inaianei. Kāore koe e pai ki te noho tahi i te kamupene kotahi. Ko te aroha he mea nui ake ki te whakapuaki i ngā wā, ngā kare ā-roto, me ngā wheako tahi. Ina tūpato koe ki te mahi i tēnei, ka mōhio koe kei te ngaro tō aroha i roto i te marena. Ka tāpiri tika atu a Joie, "Ki te mea kua whakamahere koe ki te haere ki tētahi wāhi, ki te mahi tahi rānei i tētahi mea, ā, ka hoki whakamuri ia mō tētahi take, ka harikoa koe, ka mārie hoki." Koinei te huarahi e mōhio ai koe kua ngaro tō aroha ki taua tangata.

5. Ka rerekē tō whakaaro ki tō tāne

He whakarihariha tō hoa rangatira ki a koe. Kei te whakaaro koe, "Kāore taku tāne e mahi māku". Ka iti ake tō wātea ki a ia, i te taha tinana, i te taha hinengaro hoki. Kāore koe e māharahara ki ana whakaaro ina kore koe e aro ki a ia. I te hohonu haere o te wairua wehe, ka mawehe atu ō kare ā-roto i a ia. Kua tino ngaro tō aroha ki tō tāne mēnā kei te huri tō whakaaro ki a ia, ahakoa te kino rawa atu. Kei te huna te kore aro i ētahi tohu nui o te mutunga o tō whanaungatanga roa.

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7 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina Kua Ngaro Koe i te Aroha ki To Tāne

Mā te kōrero i runga ake nei ka kitea ngā tohu kua kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne. Mā te kite i ēnei tohu, ka ine koe i tō aroha e memeha haere ana ki tō hoa. Engari me aha koe ināianei? Ko te pātai nui rawa atu kei mua i a koe ināianei ko te aha te mea hei mahi ina kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne? Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i waenga i te whakaora anō i tō aroha kua ngaro, te wehe rānei i te whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea ngāwari pēnei i te āhua o te tirohanga tuatahi.

Ki te whakatau koe ki te waihanga i tētahi whanaungatanga taurite me tō tāne, me kimi huarahi koe ki te hoki whakamuri, ki te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga e mate haere ana. Ko te mea nui i konei ko ngā mahi tahi me te hiahia tahi. Ka taea anake te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga ina rite te whakapau kaha o ngā hoa e rua ki te kaupapa. Kāore e taea e te aroha kotahi te ora ki te whakaora i tētahi whanaungatanga. Me titiro tātou ki ngā tohutohu a tā mātou kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro tohunga a Joie.

1. Kia maumahara ki ngā wā pai o mua

Ka pāngia ia whanaungatanga e te wā honi, ina kore e makona ngā hoa aroha kanohi moemoeā tetahi ki tetahi. Whakaarohia aua wā, ā, whakaarohia he aha ngā mea rerekē i mahia e koe i taua wā? He kai i waho pea, he maha rānei ngā pō whakaipoipo? Whakakāhia anō taua mura i roto i tō ngākau. Whakamahia he tauira mai i tā mātou rārangi whakaaro mō te pō whakaipoipo , ā, ka hoki anō ki te aroha. Haere ki te hikoi. Kanikani i tō ngākau (me ia, ko te tikanga). Kia pai ki ngā ahuareka ngawari o te ao me ia.

E kī ana a Joie, "Mahia ngā mahi a te tokorua pēnei i te haereere i te motuka, te kai tina, te hararei, me te hanga maharatanga." Mā te noho tahi ka pai ake te hononga. Ahakoa te uaua i te tīmatanga, me mahara anō ki ngā wā o mua i a kōrua i tino aroha ki a ia. Tērā pea ka mau tonu te aroha ki tō tāne, engari ko te mahi tinihanga ko te wikitoria me te whakakore i taua kare ā-roto. Mō tētahi wā, hoki whakamuri ki te wā o mua, kia rite ki te tokorua hou i marenatia ai kōrua i mua. He aroha nui, he aroha nui.

2. Whakamihi tetahi ki tetahi, ā, whakaute tetahi ki tetahi

Me aha koe ina kore koe e aroha ki tāu tāne? E ngana ana koe tetahi ki tetahi ki te maioha me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi. Kāore he poti aroha e ora i ngā wai pōrearea me te kore he punga o te whakaute, te whakawhirinaki, me te whakapono. Kia mau ki ēnei punga. I te hekenga o ngā ngaru e pā ana ki ngā takutai, ka hoki anō tō kore aro me tō kawa ki a ia. Ko te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi i roto i te whanaungatanga ka hanga he turanga pakari.

He hapa tō tātou katoa. Me ako tātou ki te whakaae ki aua hapa, ahakoa nō tātou, nō tō tātou hoa rānei. Me awhi rātou, kaua e tawaihia. Mā te kore e maiohatia i roto i te whanaungatanga ka hē te haere. He nui te painga o ngā mahi whakamihi iti. Me whakamōhio ki tō hoa ngā āhuatanga rerekē, ngā āhuatanga rerekē rānei e pai ana koe ki roto i aua hapa. Kaua e whakawhānui ake i te āputa i waenganui i a kōrua, ngana ki te hono i aua hapa mā te atawhai me te whakamihi hei pou.

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3. Me aha koe ina kore koe e aroha ki tāu tāne? Kōrerohia

E oati ana a Joie ki te tūranga o te "kōrero me te hono atu i ngā wā katoa" ki te hanga hononga. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino whakamīharo kua kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne ko te piki haere o te āputa kōrero. Ngāna kia noho tuwhera tonu ngā hongere kōrero. Noho ki raro, ka kōrero ngākau ki te ngākau ki tō tāne. Pātai atu ki tō hoa rangatira he pātai whakamere kia pai ake ai tō mārama ki a ia. Kia mau tonu te wairua ngahau i roto i ō kōrero me tō hononga, kia nui rānei te aro ki ngā pātai hohonu mō te whanaungatanga. Ko te whakaaro kia pai ake te hono atu.

Mā te kōrero whai tikanga ki tō hoa rangatira ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tō huarahi whakamua. Mēnā ka mutu te aroha i roto i te marena, e rua ngā tatau e tuwhera ana i mua i a koe – ka whakaoho anō koe i te aroha, ka wareware rānei koe i te aroha. Mā te kōrero i ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa rangatira ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau pai ake.

4. Whakatairangahia tō hoa

He maha ngā wā ka kitea i roto i ngā whanaungatanga te whakaaro koretake o ngā hoa rangatira tetahi ki tetahi . I kitea tētahi o aku hoa tino aroha e pāngia ana e taua āhuatanga anō. I roto i tētahi o ā māua kōrero i te 2 i te ata, ka tangi ia, "Kei te pēnei ahau kāore au e aroha ki a ia i ēnei rā. E mōhio ana ahau kāore au e aroha ki a ia pērā i mua." He mea noa, he tino ngāwari hoki te whakamutu i te tuku i tō hoa rangatira ki ngā manaaki me ngā aro o mua. He maha ngā wā ka tūpono ngā whanaungatanga roa ki tēnei āhua.

Hei whakaora anō i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, hoki atu ki te wā whakaipoipo. Ko te wā i aroha ai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Ko te wā i whakapuaki pinepine ai kōrua i ō kōrua kare ā-roto. Whakaharikoa i a kōrua ki tō aroha me tō manaaki. E whakaatu ana a Joie me pēhea te whai hua o te whakatau ā-hinengaro ki te manaaki tetahi ki tetahi mō te whanaungatanga. Ngāna ki te kukume i a rātou ki ō mahi takaro, ki ō tohu aroha rānei. Whakanuia tō kōrua marena ki ngā mea katoa e hiahiatia ana.

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5. Kia pono ki ō kare ā-roto

Me aha koe ina kore koe e aroha ki tāu tāne? Ka whakaatu koe i tō āhua pono rawa atu. Kāore e taea e ngā whanaungatanga te tupu i runga i te whakapehapeha me te huna. Ko te whanaungatanga kāore koe e whakaaro ko koe anō ka taea te whakamomori. Kāore e taea e te aroha pono te puāwai ina whakatōkia i raro i ngā āhuatanga teka. Kia pono, kia pono ki tō hoa. Kati te whakauru ki ngā tauira, te piri rānei ki ngā whakaaro kua whakaarohia i mua. Me pēhea rā te pai ki a koe mēnā ehara koe i tō āhua pono?

Kimihia anō koe i tēnei haerenga, ka tīmata anō ki te kōrero ki tō hoa. Ahakoa kei te whakaaro koe, "Kāore taku tāne e mahi ana māku, kua wareware noa ia ki ahau!", tukua te riri kia puta. Kaua e pupuri i te mauahara. E ai ki tā Joie, "Ina riri koe, whakautu. Kaua e noho puku ki a ia. He mea nui te noho puku i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e heke haere ana." Mā te noho puku i roto i te whanaungatanga ka taea te whakararuraru i ngā nekehanga o te tokorua. Engari, whakautu ki te āhuatanga, whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto, ā, whakatikahia ngā raruraru.

6. Whakaaroaro, whakaaroaro, ā, whakautu

Whakaarohia koe i roto i a koe anō. Whakaarohia te hinengaro, me te ngana ki te kimi i ngā hapa me ngā hapa i arahi atu ai ki te kore aroha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. Kaua e uru ki ngā kēmu whakapae , whakaarohia ngā mea i ngaro i roto i ō whanaungatanga. Hurihia tō arotahi mai i te whai wāhi a tō hoa ki tō whanaungatanga ki te whakaaro ki ngā mea i kawea mai e koe ki te tēpu.

He māmā ake te whakatakoto i ngā tumanakohanga mai i tāu tāne. Engari pātai atu ki a koe anō i te tuatahi, kua tutuki i a kōrua ngā paerewa ōrite i roto i tō kōrua marena? Mā ngā hoa e rua ngā paearu e tutuki. Me atawhai tō hoa i te huarahi e hiahia ana koe kia atawhaihia e rātou. Kimihia ō ngoikoretanga, ā, whakaarohia me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakatika i aua ngoikoretanga. Kāore a Rōma i hangaia i roto i te rā kotahi, ā, he rite tonu te āhua mō ngā whanaungatanga angitu katoa – he wā me te whakapau kaha e hiahiatia ana. Kawea mai he huringa, ā, ngana ki te wetewete i ngā tauira raruraru.

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7. Tukua kia haere

Ahakoa he aha te mea e tika ana kia akiakihia, me tuku atu. Whawhaitia tō whanaungatanga mēnā kua rite kōrua mō tēnā, mēnā kei te whakaaro kōrua he tohu pea tēnei mō te aroha pono. Mēnā kāore tētahi o kōrua i te hihiri, i te ngākau pono rānei, he pai ake te tuku i tō hoa . Kāore e taea e kōrua te whawhai ki tētahi pakanga kua ngaro kē. Kāore e taea te whakaora anō i te aroha kua memeha. Ko te mea nui i konei ko tō aroha ki a koe anō, nā te mea, kāore tetahi e hiahia ana ki te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e whakararuraru ana i tō rātou hinengaro, i tō rātou harikoa rānei.

E whakapuaki ana a Joie i tana whakaaro, "He pai ki te kore e aroha ki tētahi i arohaina e koe i mua, mena ka nui ake tō aroha ki a koe anō mā tēnei mahi. Ko koe anake te tangata kāore e taea e koe te kore e aroha ki a koe." Mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine whai tamariki, e kī ana ia kia whakaarohia te harikoa o ngā tamariki. E mea ana ia, "He pai ki ngā tamariki te whakarere mena ka noho harikoa ngā mātua e rua. Kāore rātou e pai ki ngā mātua pouri e whawhai ana."

He mea mārama te kore aroha. Ko te mea kāore e tika ana ko te whakararuraru i tō ake harikoa. Me aha koe ina kore koe e aroha ki tō tāne? Me mahi te mea e hari ai koe. Whakaorahia te whanaungatanga mēnā e hiahia ana koe, tukua atu rānei mēnā kei a koe ngā rauemi hei whakatau i taua whakatau.

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